S05.E13: Unseen Moments

[bref]

I skipped the whole season, but tuned in for this. I often find the clips on the Unseen Moments show more interesting than the ones they choose to build the regular season storylines.

 

Dr. Drew is as insufferable as ever, I see.

 

Little Leah LeeAnn is so freaking cute.

[meisje]

How bizarre that apparently every real (read: extra bitchtastic, messy, drunk, tasteless, etc...) scene has been sitting in the MTV vault!

I didn't intend to watch this, but the "Gary time," brain-bleach-required gd horror show shocked me into submission.

How did Farrah get more top heavy since (presumably) the prior day's taping? And does she carry an extra suitcase of hair everywhere she goes (and that's why Sophia only has 2 outfits)?? Classic Farrah touting her "therapy is great" horn 10 seconds before slapping at Debra and Heather to boot. And bitching about the crew's manners when she gets more help from them getting dressed than she gives her own daughter? And for all that effort she looks like she's a school project made of toothpicks and marshmallows topped with a dead rodent. I can't even imagine what it costs. Farrah is a shit show of a human being.

So Maci basically used to drive a tank and did so with zero visibility on 70 mph roads (which states have that speed limit?!)  to booze it up; it kind of sheds new light on her accident for me. I'm judgy about that kind of stuff I guess. And she went out to drink with Amber in NYC... Um, taking an addict out to drink doesn't conflict with her 'values'? Ugh. Love that Amber spouts her AA/addict lessons to Drew and the rest and plans to create a whole new type of rehab. The Matt car scene was actually not awful, except for the talons. If beard-face is Maci's idea of hitting the brain jackpot, that explains a lot.

For once I'm with Tyler wondering why Catelynn burrows into her nose a foot from a mounted camera. But at least that was about the worst they had to hide.

 

That poor little girl who passed was so sweet, and yes, these girls are very, very lucky that their drama is so self-inflicted.

Edited June 16, 2015 by meisje

[Maharincess]

Who the hell is Mimi?

[cheatincheetos]

How bizarre that apparently every real (read: extra bitchtastic, messy, drunk, tasteless, etc...) scene has been sitting in the MTV vault!

I didn't intend to watch this, but the "Gary time," brain-bleach-required gd horror show shocked me into submission.

Cringetastic as it was, that condom and banana sandwich scene was about the only mention of pregnancy prevention the whole season.

"Hopefully (Gary) finds his thing that he sticks to" says Farrah(irony).

That montage of gross things early on would have made a young John Waters proud. Farrah is probably already marketing it as an appetite suppressant.

Farrah: "I'm going to be doing movies."   Suuuuuuure you are, Norma Desmond.

Catelynn and Tyler have a dirty clothes hamper in every single room of the house? Whuck?

[ghoulina]

Um, so Farrah is now a counselor? She was throwing out the advice right and left. "Catelynn, you need to just tell Mimi how you feel". What a fucking joke. What, does she think after all the therapy she's had with her mother she's now qualified to counsel others? Even though her therapy clearly isn't working? I laughed so hard when she was going on and on about all the progress she had made, and then proceeds to flip out over a phone and nastily insult Headie". 

 

But my favorite was Amber waxing poetic about how they've all found good guys now, because dealing with the bad ones made them realize what they really wanted? Um, what? Okay, I will concede that Taylor is probably a good guy; his little talk with Bentley was sweet. But he doesn't appear that into Maci and I don't see this being some long lasting love. 

 

Then you have Simon, who clearly puts up with Farrah for the camera time. 

 

Oh, maybe she meant Tyler, the petulant douche who thinks it's cool to passive aggressively threaten and insult the wonderful couple who is raising his daughter? The guy who has such a lock on Catelynn that she actually lists one of his WORST qualities (saying what he's thinking whenever he wants, no matter how hurtful) as her favorite??? Oh okay, yea - great guy. 

 

And yea, her Matt is just the best! The "recovering" addict who drinks, has no known job, abandons his children (or isn't allowed to see them? hmmm) to move in with some chick picked up on Twitter and barely knows. The dude who apparently has pursued other women on Twitter with stories of being an MIT scholar who is taking the professional gambling world by storm. The dude who punches walls when the cameras are gone, but can't wait to chat it up with Dr. Drew. Yes, Amber, you clearly picked a winner there. 

 

Also, I will hunt her ass down in about 65 years and throw a pie in her face if her "promised" rehab centers aren't up and running. Holding you accountable, Ambie!

[alexa]

I found Farrah giving advice in this episode strange as well.  She is barely talking to any of them but now suddenly feels they want to take advice from her?  I was especially confused when she asked Maci if she and Bentley were going to do therapy together.  I think Maci said yes to be nice--because a 6 year old talking back to his parents is very normal and does not warrant therapy.  I am not going to say they all do that, but it is very common.  I knew exactly what Maci meant when she said there is a balance between discipline and also letting them be heard--it is true.  Sometimes what they come out with isn't really an intentional talking back, it is their immature brain not handling their emotions/what they are trying to say very well.  It doesn't mean that you don't teach them better ways or just take it from them, but therapy is most likely not necessary.  We have seen Bentley on tv enough to know he is not over the top in regard to behavior issues.

 

I just found that all very odd.

[butterbody]

Yesterday I took my kid to buy a beta fish. They're so frilly and colorful, but the Petco guy told us they get like that because they're always ready to fight. They put them in separate bowls next to each other and they puff themselves up and try to be intimidating. They live their lives on the defense, ready to brawl to the death.

Then Dr.Panda addressed Farrah, and she'd take a deep breath and straighten her posture, and I thought my god, Farrah's a beta!

[GreatKazu]

Funny how there were two Mimi's on this episode - Maci's friend and Cate's grandmother. The only Mimi I have ever known of is the character on the Drew Carey Show.

 

Like Maci, Gary loves to dispense the idea that condoms should be used by others, but not for himself. Two times he could have worn them, but instead, he chose not to and is now a father of two.

[Tatum]

 

Funny how there were two Mimi's on this episode - Maci's friend and Cate's grandmother. The only Mimi I have ever known of is the character on the Drew Carey Show.

 

Doesn't Bentley also call Ryan's mom Mimi?

[GreatKazu]

Doesn't Bentley also call Ryan's mom Mimi?

That's right! Three Mimi's on one show? Crazy.

[ghoulina]

Like Maci, Gary loves to dispense the idea that condoms should be used by others, but not for himself. Two times he could have worn them, but instead, he chose not to and is now a father of two.

 

Yea, and I could even see him marketing a condom line after Leah. His schtick could be, "Hey, you don't want to wind up a young, unprepared dad like me! That's why you gotta wrap yo shit!" 

 

But going and getting another girl randomly pregnant and being all "oooops" doesn't make you a good spokesperson for condoms. HOWEVER, I do agree with Matt that just looking at those condoms would put me out of having sex for life. 

[NikSac]

Then Dr.Panda addressed Farrah, and she'd take a deep breath and straighten her posture, and I thought my god, Farrah's a beta!

 

That is a perfect description!  For some reason it was the first time I noticed she does this really deliberate double or triple eye blink right before she's about to throw out her latest bitchy comment. It's quite weird and distracting once you notice it.

[MyPeopleAreNordic]

When Amber was promising that she'd open rehab centers all over the country, my eyes were rolling so hard it should count as doing cardio.

Why don't you start with a promise to finish college or some sort of post-secondary education first, Amber?

[cheatincheetos]

And yea, her Matt is just the best! The "recovering" addict who drinks, has no known job, abandons his children (or isn't allowed to see them? hmmm) to move in with some chick picked up on Twitter and barely knows. The dude who apparently has pursued other women on Twitter with stories of being an MIT scholar who is taking the professional gambling world by storm. The dude who punches walls when the cameras are gone, but can't wait to chat it up with Dr. Drew. Yes, Amber, you clearly picked a winner there. 

This.

Also I couldn't stop thinking during Matt's segment about how much he looks like a Muppet gone bad.

“That’s his birthstone.” (referring to baby girl Nova)

Freudian slip much, Tyler?

[GreatKazu]

Tyler was really pushing for that baby boy. As if wishing hard enough, his dream would come true. I assume when he gave that necklace to Cate, they didn't know the sex of the baby yet. I can imagine how Taylor was as he constantly mentioned his "boy". He was likely how he is when he constantly tells Cate about losing weight.

[Maharincess]

I had to be in and out during this show. As I was walking down the stairs I heard Amber say somebody is the fakest person they've ever known.

When I was able to go back, that segment was over.

Who was she talking about?

[NikSac]

I had to be in and out during this show. As I was walking down the stairs I heard Amber say somebody is the fakest person they've ever known.

When I was able to go back, that segment was over.

Who was she talking about?

 

She was talking about Gary's girlfriend, Kristina. And she was PISSED. I know, not unusual for her, but still - she was really, really mad.

[cheatincheetos]

She was talking about Gary's girlfriend, Kristina. And she was PISSED. I know, not unusual for her, but still - she was really, really mad.

Still can't believe that anyone can get that angry about losing *Gary* to somebody else. That's much of what it is about, whether she wants to admit it or not.

[Tatum]

I wish we could get some unbiased scoops on Kristina. Obviously, I don't trust much of what Amber says, but there HAS to be something wrong with Kristina based on the way she throws herself at Gary, acts like his personal servant, and cries over not being "good enough" for him. Coupled with the fact that she left her husband for him- there has got to be an ulterior motive in there somewhere.

[kira28]

Regarding Amber and her feelings about Kristina, she can STFU! She CHOSE to go to "gell" and had a five year sentence I do believe. So she was ok with staying out of her daughter's life for five years instead of going thru a rehab program. She still doesn't attend rehab and hasn't really changed at all since she was in prison based on how quickly she got fired up over Kristina.  I think Kristina treats Leah very well she probably does feel like Leah is one of her kids since she's been in Leah's life full time practically longer than Amber has. Leah obviously loves Kristina so she doesn't treat her badly. Hell, she' s probably Leah's main caretaker.  I know Amber threw in the thing about how she's thankful Kristina took care of Leah while she was gone but its as though she expects Kristina to just fall out of the picture now that Ambie's out of prison. She wouldn't even walk her own daughter into her first day of school because Kristina was there dropping her kid off. Amber sucks as a parent and as a person in general.  I would bet money she's on something again because she looked gorgeous a the reunion. Much better than any of the other girls.  Cate looked HUGE and unhealthy. They should have never sat her next to 7 month pregnant Maci who looked dwarfed in comparison.  In clips they showed of Amber on the couch with Matt she was pretty heavy. But she looks like she lost a LOT of weight and we all know Amber doesn't get off that couch or eat healthy so I bet drugs have something to do with it sadly.

 

The other thing that made me sad is Cate grinning and talking about how great Tyler is.  He won't even pick up his dirty clothes? Those two are so not ready to have a child. I bet Tyler doesn't help at all. Cate has to do all the work while Tyler is glued to his laptop. The thing with Taylor and Bentley was cute but I guarantee it was staged for the camera.

[ghoulina]

“That’s his birthstone.” (referring to baby girl Nova)

Freudian slip much, Tyler?

 

Ha! I caught that too. Was that scene before or after the gender US? Either way, he clearly really wanted a boy. 

[truelovekiss]

Tyler was really pushing for that baby boy. As if wishing hard enough, his dream would come true.

Maybe he watched a lot of Disney movies?

[Snarky McSnarky]

I wish we could get some unbiased scoops on Kristina. Obviously, I don't trust much of what Amber says, but there HAS to be something wrong with Kristina based on the way she throws herself at Gary, acts like his personal servant, and cries over not being "good enough" for him. Coupled with the fact that she left her husband for him- there has got to be an ulterior motive in there somewhere.

I believe the ulterior motive is fame.  From a USA Today article:  Eighty-one percent of 18- to 25-year-olds surveyed in a Pew Research Center poll said getting rich is their generation's most important or second-most-important life goal; 51% said the same about being famous.  "We're seeing the common person become famous for being themselves," says David Morrison of the Philadelphia-based research firm Twentysomething Inc. MTV and reality TV are in large part fueling these youthful desires, he says.

 

http://usatoday30.usatoday.com/news/nation/2007-01-09-gen-y-cover_x.htm

Edited June 17, 2015 by Bella Roche

[Maharincess]

Ha! I caught that too. Was that scene before or after the gender US? Either way, he clearly really wanted a boy.

What is a "gender US"?

[Snarky McSnarky]

What is a "gender US"?

An ultrasound (US) to determine the sex of the child.

[Maharincess]

Thanks. All of these damn initials drive me insane.

[Snarky McSnarky]

Thanks. All of these damn initials drive me insane.

IMHO, ITA!

[Maharincess]

Bella, for that...you get a big LMAO.

[bref]

Maharincess, this is a fairly good site to do a quick check of an unfamiliar acronym. :)

[Maharincess]

I just wish people would spell out the entire word. I don't understand the reason for putting everything in initials and acronyms.

Thank you bref.

Edited June 18, 2015 by Maharincess

[DoctorWhovian]

I just started watching... but omg at Farrah's face. She looks like she got stung by a bee.

[NikSac]

Regarding Amber and her feelings about Kristina, she can STFU! She CHOSE to go to "gell" and had a five year sentence I do believe. So she was ok with staying out of her daughter's life for five years instead of going thru a rehab program. She still doesn't attend rehab and hasn't really changed at all since she was in prison based on how quickly she got fired up over Kristina.

 

Oh I agree. My jaw has dropped a time or two (or ten) during the run of this show, but Amber calling out Kristina for her "fakeness" had to be in my top 5 moments. I wanted to scream at her "the woman cared for your supposedly beloved child while you were in gel, and you're going to criticize her?!?"  Of course I don't know any of these people personally and I don't know much about Kristina but she seems to be good to Leah, so I think Amber can just shut it when it comes to anything else related to Leah's life while she was gone. I also don't know much about Amber except that she is still VERY quick to anger and flies off the handle quickly in spite of apparently being (in her mind) the best mom ever and all of her counseling.

[NikSac]

What is a "gender US"?

 

I honest to goodness thought it was some sort of bizarre test only done in the United States when I first read that. I thought it was odd that they'd have one for the US versus other places.

[Tatum]

I believe the ulterior motive is fame.  From a USA Today article:  Eighty-one percent of 18- to 25-year-olds surveyed in a Pew Research Center poll said getting rich is their generation's most important or second-most-important life goal; 51% said the same about being famous.  "We're seeing the common person become famous for being themselves," says David Morrison of the Philadelphia-based research firm Twentysomething Inc. MTV and reality TV are in large part fueling these youthful desires, he says.

 

http://usatoday30.usatoday.com/news/nation/2007-01-09-gen-y-cover_x.htm

 

I could maybe see dating someone in an effort to get on TV (or befriending someone), but who wants to be famous for boning Gary??

[ghoulina]

I just wish people would spell out the entire word. I don't understand the reason for putting everything in initials and acronyms.

 

It's faster? Personally, I try to spell most things out, unless it's a very well known acronym. But last week I sliced my finger very badly, there was a trip the ER and everything. I still have to keep it bandaged and it hurts like hell if I touch anything with it. So I'm kind of typing like a T-rex over here. I apologize if I used an acronym people didn't understand. 

[EuropeanGirl]

I consider myself a tough crowd when it comes to humor, I don't let a ha-ha that easily. Did Farrah had a tough job or what, because she was my laugh of the night! She made me make an actual laughing sound when this happened:

Deb: So, you're moving on with things?

Farrah: Mom, I am always moving on!

 

It reminded me of the made up conversations you guys post in here, so she sounded like she actually quoted some of you!!

 

As for Amber - going to the bathroom with someone doesn't make you intimate. It's just disgusting. She tried to portray it to seem like a normal thing, like it's just brushing teeth together.

 

 

[butterbody]

Edited because I think I think I'm funnier than I think I am....

Edited June 18, 2015 by butterbody

[NikSac]

But last week I sliced my finger very badly, there was a trip the ER and everything. I still have to keep it bandaged and it hurts like hell if I touch anything with it.

 

Owwww I'm sorry to hear that!!  I hope it heals fast.

[Maharincess]

It's faster? Personally, I try to spell most things out, unless it's a very well known acronym. But last week I sliced my finger very badly, there was a trip the ER and everything. I still have to keep it bandaged and it hurts like hell if I touch anything with it. So I'm kind of typing like a T-rex over here. I apologize if I used an acronym people didn't understand.

Don't be sorry! Its my own issue. I just hate the acronyms so much. But that's my problem. I don't think they're going away anytime soon.

Ouch!! I hope you're feeling better. I hope they gave you something for your pain.

Edited because I think I think I'm funnier than I think I am....

This made me laugh. See you are funny!!

[Cosmocrush]

When Amber was promising that she'd open rehab centers all over the country, my eyes were rolling so hard it should count as doing cardio.

Why don't you start with a promise to finish college or some sort of post-secondary education first, Amber?

College?   I can't see it for Ambie.  How about just staying off the couch for 24 hours?   Then work up to a week.  She can start by answering her own door. 

[bren70]

 

That's right! Three Mimi's on one show? Crazy.

Actually Bentley calls Maci's mom "Memaw".  He just calls Ryan's mom "Mimi".  In their region of the country, both "Mimi" and "Memaw" are popular nicknames for grandmothers.   

 

I was surprised to see April's mom "Mimi" on the episode, since she's never been on ever before, that I remember.  It seems like MTV would've pushed that drama-filled storyline before now.  I'm sure they knew about it, since Cate/Tyler are an open book about stuff like that.  Interesting.

[bren70]

 

I just started watching... but omg at Farrah's face. She looks like she got stung by a bee.

Right?!!!  When she is on-screen I can't take my eyes off of her face, and I find myself constantly cringing just looking at her.  She absolutely ruined it.  And she aged herself ten years.  She literally looks like a cartoon version of herself.  The other night I watched a season 1 episode and then a current episode and it is jarring.  Plus now she can't close her lips, so when she talks, she can't pronounce certain letters like she used to.  She has to talk with her mouth in a big fake smile, and all the letter sounds that require you to put your lips together, she can't do anymore.  It's so distracting to watch her talk.  

I will never understand why women mess with their faces.  I get that they are unhappy having wrinkles.  But wrinkles are SO MUCH BETTER LOOKING than that plastic-y, puffed up, warped look.  When I see a woman who has had obvious work done on her face, all I can think of is "yikes, she looks so plastic" - I am never thinking, "oh wow, her face is so smooth with no wrinkles" or "she looks so young and pretty".  No.  It's like you can't see past the plastic-ness to even notice if they have wrinkles or not, or if they are pretty or not.  It's like a neon sign flashing at you - plastic, plastic.  

[NikSac]

Plus now she can't close her lips, so when she talks, she can't pronounce certain letters like she used to.  She has to talk with her mouth in a big fake smile, and all the letter sounds that require you to put your lips together, she can't do anymore.  It's so distracting to watch her talk. 

 

Is THAT what it is?  I knew there was something bizarre going on when she talks and I can't understand her half the time. I was blaming the actual words/sentences not making sense, but I wonder if some of it is that she can't pronounce some of the words anymore.

[GreatKazu]

I consider myself a tough crowd when it comes to humor, I don't let a ha-ha that easily. Did Farrah had a tough job or what, because she was my laugh of the night! She made me make an actual laughing sound when this happened:

Deb: So, you're moving on with things?

Farrah: Mom, I am always moving on!

 

It reminded me of the made up conversations you guys post in here, so she sounded like she actually quoted some of you!!

 

As for Amber - going to the bathroom with someone doesn't make you intimate. It's just disgusting. She tried to portray it to seem like a normal thing, like it's just brushing teeth together.

That bathroom talk reminded me of the Whitney Houston reality show where she was talking about "real Black love" because Bobby gave her his finger to help unplug her ass.

 

When that scene with Amber was playing out about the bathroom, I looked at my husband as I told him, "You know it's real love when you can fart in front of your partner without hesitation."

Edited June 19, 2015 by GreatKazu

[bren70]

 

Is THAT what it is?  I knew there was something bizarre going on when she talks and I can't understand her half the time. I was blaming the actual words/sentences not making sense, but I wonder if some of it is that she can't pronounce some of the words anymore.

Well her words/sentences definitely don't make sense either LOL.  So between that and her puffed up lips, it's a lost cause.  ;)

[lilmarysunshine]

All I can think of when watching Farrah's stuff is how badly I would hate to be a part of that family. Everything about them - especially how they converse - just seems so stilted and fake and it has always seemed that way. Like they have no genuine interactions even with each other. I get the same vibe between Farrah and Sophia. Just a very, very weird family.

[GreatKazu]

Farrah mentioned not being able to feel anything regarding her breasts because of the implants when she was being fitted with the mike, I believe. I don't know anyone with breast implants so, I can't ask anyone this question. Does one lose sensation or feeling when they have implants put in?

[JayCutler]

From watching this show, I assumed that Catelynn and Tyler just sit on their asses all the time, but it was a pretty endearing thing they did by raising money for that little girl with terminal cancer. On the other hand, Amber, Maci, and Farrah can all fuck off and go to hell. What a worthless collection of clowns. 

 

 

Tyler is still a piece of shit though for taking Catelynn on that boat trip. "Happy 9th anniversary babe!"

Edited June 21, 2015 by JayCutler

[lezlers]

Regarding Amber and her feelings about Kristina, she can STFU! She CHOSE to go to "gell" and had a five year sentence I do believe. So she was ok with staying out of her daughter's life for five years instead of going thru a rehab program. She still doesn't attend rehab and hasn't really changed at all since she was in prison based on how quickly she got fired up over Kristina.  I think Kristina treats Leah very well she probably does feel like Leah is one of her kids since she's been in Leah's life full time practically longer than Amber has. Leah obviously loves Kristina so she doesn't treat her badly. Hell, she' s probably Leah's main caretaker.  I know Amber threw in the thing about how she's thankful Kristina took care of Leah while she was gone but its as though she expects Kristina to just fall out of the picture now that Ambie's out of prison. She wouldn't even walk her own daughter into her first day of school because Kristina was there dropping her kid off. Amber sucks as a parent and as a person in general.  I would bet money she's on something again because she looked gorgeous a the reunion. Much better than any of the other girls.  Cate looked HUGE and unhealthy. They should have never sat her next to 7 month pregnant Maci who looked dwarfed in comparison.  In clips they showed of Amber on the couch with Matt she was pretty heavy. But she looks like she lost a LOT of weight and we all know Amber doesn't get off that couch or eat healthy so I bet drugs have something to do with it sadly.

 

The other thing that made me sad is Cate grinning and talking about how great Tyler is.  He won't even pick up his dirty clothes? Those two are so not ready to have a child. I bet Tyler doesn't help at all. Cate has to do all the work while Tyler is glued to his laptop. The thing with Taylor and Bentley was cute but I guarantee it was staged for the camera.

 

Everybody in your life must look like Maci if you think Catelynne looked "huge" in the unseen moments episode.  This was taped what, maybe 3 months postpartum for her?  Give me a fucking break.   Statements like yours are what create eating disorders. 

 

I agree with everything else in your post, tho.  I got pissed when everybody was like "yeah, go Ambie!  That bitch needs to back it up!"  You're right, she's likely been in Leah's life consistently more than Amber at this point.  AMBER is the one who needs back it up with that noise.

[lezlers]

Also, Tyler lucked out that their baby was born Jan 1 with that birthstone necklace.  That boy was playing with fire on that one.  I had the same due date as Cate and my daughter was born Dec 31 (and I *gasp* still have about 20 lbs of baby weight to lose!  I'm so huge and unhealthy!)  That would have been an unfortunate purchase for me.