Becoming Us - General Discussion

[Meredith Quill]

A place to discuss particular episodes, arcs and moments from Becoming Us.

[Febgirl]

Ok, I'm first.  I watched the first episode, and this show seems like a lot of the 'reality' is manufactured.  Specifically, Ben's "friends"  I am skeptical that these are "show friends"   Also, I find Sutton, the sister super annoying, and v. mannered.

 I applaud the show for showing that Ben's feelings about Carly's transition are not automatically, "acceptance",

[Chrissytd]

Ok, I'm first.  I watched the first episode, and this show seems like a lot of the 'reality' is manufactured.  Specifically, Ben's "friends"  I am skeptical that these are "show friends"  Also, I find Sutton, the sister super annoying, and v. mannered.

Agreed. The scene on the roof with Ben and his friend, and the bra shopping seemed too scripted. Glad I'm not the only one who found the sister annoying.

[truthaboutluv]

I think the sister is clearly an actress, probably hoping this show will help her career. I'm not saying she's an actress in that she's not really his sister, I'm sure she is but I think she's also an aspiring actress. I had my suspicions and felt they were confirmed when she said she and her fiance met performing in a production of Romeo and Juliet and of course they live in NYC...yeah, aspiring actress. Which hey, there's nothing wrong with that, except it kind of makes her seem "on" at times in her interviews and even interactions with the family and that just makes her comes across even more as annoying. 

 

I did wonder about the friends only because they're all conveniently older than him and one of them he actually doesn't really even know but is the one girl's brother or cousin. Incidentally, anyone else get the feeling that the new guy might be transgender himself and that's going to be a storyline later in the season? Something about how much he was asking Ben about Carly stood out to me, especially considering he doesn't know Ben that well. Though I'm sure that was staged in a way too just to get the conversation going. But I don't know, something about that guy stood out to me. Of course it could just be that seemed a little creepy. 

 

The best part of the episode was definitely Ben's interactions with Carly and his very realistic continued struggles with who she is. I thought it was very poignant after Carly talked about having her sex organs changed and Ben admitted that a small, deluded part of him was still hoping that this was just a phase and he would have his dad back.

[Scarlett45]

I think the sister is clearly an actress, probably hoping this show will help her career. I'm not saying she's an actress in that she's not really his sister, I'm sure she is but I think she's also an aspiring actress. I had my suspicions and felt they were confirmed when she said she and her fiance met performing in a production of Romeo and Juliet and of course they live in NYC...yeah, aspiring actress. Which hey, there's nothing wrong with that, except it kind of makes her seem "on" at times in her interviews and even interactions with the family and that just makes her comes across even more as annoying.

I agree. I also think though that she brings a unique perspective, no doubt that she loves/has affection for Carly, she was her step parent for a lot of years, but her first loyalty is going to be to her Mom. She's thinking about how Carly's choices have affected HER mom and HER brother first and for most.

[GeorgiaRai]

I'll keep watching -- for Danielle & SallyDan.  That kitchen scene made me cry every time I watched (and re-watched) it.  Danielle's support of her dad is beautiful to see, and I understand where SallyDan is coming from in being afraid to leave the house in make-up, etc.  I relate to that kind of person much more than Carly and her extreme level of confidence and ambivalence to other people's attitudes.  (Not saying one is right or wrong,  just commenting on the type of personality I understand better.)

 

I agree that the friends seemed very...convenient, and a little too perfect.  Hopefully over time we'll be able to tell if they're real or just characters.

 

Sister Sutton...please go back to your boyfriend, or maybe go on Say Yes to the Dress.  We don't need you on this show!

 

[joanne3482]

I appreciate that Ben and Ben's mom don't seem to have just jumped on the Carly bandwagon. This is going to take them some time to adjust.

 

I don't understand how Ben made those friends. He's in high school, I believe. Anton and the girl are in college. I would also like to know how Ben and Danielle got together. Where did they meet? It must have been some sort of support group or something. Otherwise it would be just too odd a coincidence.

[Former Nun]

Not "good" reality. Not good "scripted" reality show. Not good drama. I'm not an actress or a coach but for some reason I feel the urge to "direct" some of the characters. I won't watch again. Won't be back to comment.

Edited June 16, 2015 by Former Nun

[butterbody]

I really loved the first episode, but last night just felt so contrived. His friends all look like they were plucked from a 90's teen angst movie. The incredibly gorgeous girl who dates a total nerd and has a vampire for a brother are just too much.

And annoying sister with the mammoth ears, where in holy hell did you register? Was that some sort of antique shop?

[bybrandy]

The way too old friends are just not. Plus I think they want me to care about vampire boy's drama. I don't.

[Madding crowd]

I like Ben a lot but don't understand the emphasis on the older friends. How did Ben become friends with these college seniors (at least Brook is still in college). I get the idea Brook wants to be famous and Ayton and vampire boy are along for the ride. And it's none of our business, but why mention vampire boy's endless issues unless you are going to talk about them?

 

I can't say I really like Carly and I wish she would be sensitive to Ben's wanting to still have a 'dad'. After all, you can't call someone parent, it has to be first name or mom or dad. I would like this better without the fake friends I think.

[truthaboutluv]

I wonder if maybe Ben's real friends declined to appear on the show. As hard as it is to believe sometimes, with how many reality shows and fame obsessed society seems to be, there are many people who have no desire to be on television. And so maybe his real close friends declined and maybe he does know one of the friends very, very casually, maybe through his real close friends and that person agreed to be on and they added the other two for storyline purposes. Or hell maybe they're all just actors pretending to know Ben.

[CarolMK]

The friends are very annoying, imo. But I think part of the reason that they're there is that  Ben is still a minor. and they probably can't get consent from all the parents of his real friends at high school to film them. Actually, they probably aren't able to film at the school at all, so they have to go to the friend's apartment. And there seems to be some artsy vibe with the friends that's off, too. My son is a college student, lives with his girlfriend and 2 roommates in a small house near campus and they don't have this level of drama going on. Or if they do, I don't know anything about it. 

Also, Carly wasn't in this episode very much. If the focus is to be about Ben and Carly, start showing her more and tone down the friends.

[Glade]

Episode 2 was very meh.  A lot of poor acting going on, and contrived reasons for not showing much of Carly at all.  Since it seems this show is largely a response to the fictional show 'Transparent' (which was originally in the title of this show) I guess they are trying to give us a big ensemble cast like that other show has.   I actually like the goth 'friend,' but I don't really care about the conflicts over who does the dishes, etc in an apartment where none of the main characters live.  I'm also kind of sick of Ben's mother awkwardly monotoning her way through these setup scenes.  What is really interesting are the two transgender fathers and their relationship with their kids, so I hope we see more of that.

[Indy]

I really want to like this show but each episode seems more boring than the last. I think Ben & Carly's relationship is very interesting, as is Danielle's with her father.  But I could care less about Ben's weird emo vampire friends, especially when they are not directly interacting with Ben or Carly.  They are on far, far too much and really don't need their own story lines.  Did Ben & his immediate family  + Danielle not give the producers enough interesting stuff to work with that they had to film his odd college-aged buddies too?  

[Oosala]

I find I just don't LIKE these people very much, with the possible exception of Ben and his "girlfriend," who seems to be more of a friend that's a girl. One thing this show has taught me is that the personality of transgendered people doesn't really change after transition. Carly was a jerk as a man and now she's a jerk as a woman. And blah blah blah it's the alcoholism, but even in recovery (I think she mentioned going to meetings) Carly is still really selfish. She forces her son to see it her way and refuses to listen to her son at all.

That campfire discussion was really uncomfortable for Ben. All of his friends think Carly is awesome but Ben's not so sure. He spends his days in Suzy's apartment and he can't help but pick up her (justifiably) hateful feelings about her ex. It's a real mess.

Older sister drama and older friends' drama does not interest me in the least, except for the part where older sister was talking about deciding on Carly's role in her wedding. I can see where that would be a big deal.

[Kostgard]

This show is really not tapping into its potential. It could be so much more.

Why did they spend so much time in episode two with the roommate drama between the emo vampire and Where's Waldo?

Every now and again, they hit on something real. I liked the conversation between Ben and Carly on the use of "Dad". Both had solid reasons - Carly finds reminders of her past too painful (something I've seen from other trans people) and Ben just wants to call his father "Dad" and not "Mom" because that is always who she has been to him. I can see why his sister is struggling between involving Carly in her wedding and not wanting to upset her mom, who is still pretty angry.

I think this show started out as a good idea, but it feels more like "Here's some people who would like to break into acting and Seacrest is helping them out" than a real story.

[Glade]

The last episode was really unwatchable, and so...transparently contrived.  I don't want to see so much of Ben's friends and Ben's sister's friends or her fiance...I don't care about those people. I also don't really want to hear more vague innuendo about Carly's former marriage and his ex-wife's bitterness about it.  Relationships are two-way streets, and Carly certainly has the right to move on and start afresh.   

 

Doesn't Carly have any friends, like fellow transgender adults who she hangs out with that could fill out the cast?  This show has gone swiftly downhill since episode 1, and I don't think I need to see anymore since it's not going anywhere. 

Edited June 26, 2015 by Glade

[luvbadtv]

The last episode was really unwatchable, and so...transparently contrived.  I don't want to see so much of Ben's friends and Ben's sister's friends or her fiance...I don't care about those people. I also don't really want to hear more vague innuendo about Carly's former marriage and his ex-wife's bitterness about it.  Relationships are two-way streets, and Carly certainly has the right to move on and start afresh.   

 

Doesn't Carly have any friends, like fellow transgender adults who she hangs out with that could fill out the cast?  This show has gone swiftly downhill since episode 1, and I don't think I need to see anymore since it's not going anywhere. 

I agree.  It is also quite boring.  I only keep watching because I grew up in Evanston.  It's fun to see the sights.  They make it seem like Danielle lives nearby, but she lives in a suburb pretty far away.

[Indy]

Why did they spend so much time in episode two with the roommate drama between the emo vampire and Where's Waldo?

THANK YOU! I've been trying to figure out who that guy (whose name I cannot remember) reminds me of - Waldo!!  He needs a red and white striped shirt, stat. 

 

From the previews and episode description, it seems like we'll be getting another excessive dose of Emo Vampire and his angst next week.  Just what we've all been hoping for!

[butterbody]

Emo vampire has got to end up coming out as transgender before the season is done. I can't see any other reason they'd focus so much on him.

[joanne3482]

I'm curious as to how Ben and Danielle ended up together. Statistically what are the odds that they just randomly met and randomly both have fathers who are transgender? Sometimes I feel like that's the only link they really have. Like they met in a chat room or message board for kids who have a parent who is transgender and clung to that. 

[calliope1975]

I'm curious as to how Ben and Danielle ended up together. Statistically what are the odds that they just randomly met and randomly both have fathers who are transgender? Sometimes I feel like that's the only link they really have. Like they met in a chat room or message board for kids who have a parent who is transgender and clung to that. 

 

Have they ever said how they met? I wouldn't be surprised if it was in a support group so I can't figure out why it wouldn't be mentioned. I also am expecting Emo Kid to be transgender as well which will stretch my already thin belief that any of these people knew each other before filming began.

[luvbadtv]

Have they ever said how they met? I wouldn't be surprised if it was in a support group so I can't figure out why it wouldn't be mentioned. I also am expecting Emo Kid to be transgender as well which will stretch my already thin belief that any of these people knew each other before filming began.

 

My theory is that they all met in some sort of support group.  Ben & Danielle live a 30-45 minute drive from each other, and Ben's friends seem too old to be hanging out with him.  It would seem that a support group would be a common thread.

[Kostgard]

Ben said he met Where's Waldo at a skate park, but...yeah. Something just doesn't pass the smell test.

I can buy that he met Danielle at a support group or online on a site for people with trans family members. I didn't realize she lived 30-45 minutes away, but that would explain why she was pissed that time Ben asked her to drive out to the lake to meet him and then two minutes later he was all "Oops, gotta go to my tutoring session. Bye!"

And yes - Emo Vampire is going to have some sort of big reveal. Be it transgender, gay, gender fluid, who knows. Brook has already said "he's full of secrets" and I noticed at their first meeting in the first episode Emo Vampire was kinda quiet and sullen until Ben brought up Carly. Then he perked up and seemed interested in the conversation.

[Indy]

Props to whoever called Emo Vampire's secret!  Of course that just makes everyone's relationships seem even more fake...what are the odds that Ben's dad is trans, his girlfriend's dad is trans, and his best friend's girlfriend's brother is trans?  There had to be a casting call somewhere, right? At least it makes their involvement in the show a lot less random.

 

Does anyone else find it amusing that Where's Waldo was creating t-shirts (or designs or whatever) with hidden seals in them? The con-sealed thing is kind of clever but super amusing since he's so Waldoy. 

Edited June 30, 2015 by Indy

[bybrandy]

I think casting call, too.    Then lets all meet and pretend we all know one another because saying, hey, we all met because we have people in our lives who are trans and we want to be famous would be ridiculous.   

[Madding crowd]

I really like Ben, but am not so fond of the other characters on the show. Danielle is OK, but I don't see any type of romantic relationship between the two of them. I also think that Brook and her brother would be much better off keeping their family drama off TV. Not because they have anything to be ashamed of, but because this isn't supposed to be their show, lots of strange people will watch and comment on this, and Emo kid in particular is too troubled and too young to bare his soul on TV.

 

I also don't really like Carly. She certainly has a right to not want to be called dad, but she also has an obligation to be understanding of her son's feelings and how her lack of parenting and attention made him feel insignificant. I feel that Carly is only thinking of herself (and maybe she has the right after so long), but Ben is at a critical age right now and needs to feel his parent and former dad is their for hime.  Ben's mom is not especially likable but I can understand her pain and her anger. It's a no win situation for her, and it was also the same for Carly. No one is a bad guy here.

[CarolMK]

I forget where I read this, but Ben's parents actually divorced 4 years ago. So I'm wondering how long this transition to Carly has actually been going on. The shows makes it seem as if it is recent, but this has to have been going on for at least the last 4-5 years.

 

Lathan is also apparently around 21, and his sister seems like she's at least 2-3 year older. He mentioned to Carly he's known since age 12 so that's a long time as well. Was the show trying to say that neither he or his sister have a relationship with their mom? And this new love interest, Chris, is a female to male transgender also, but Chris is gay and Lathan is straight . But Chris doesn't know about Lathan. This is getting very confusing.

And Brook's dad (does she still go by Dan or something else) with the whole dating thing is confusing too. Does Dan identify as straight, gay, or bisexual even though Dan is now a transgendered female? Maybe it's my age (I'm over 50) but I can't figure all of this out. I would like to see more of Ben, and I'm wondering what's going on with him and the issue with his grades. It can't just be because of Carly, there must be something else going on.

[Indy]

Let me see if I have our cast of characters figured out right...

 

We have:

Carly - born male, identifies as female, lesbian

Dan - born male, identifies as female, straight

Lathan - born female, identifies as male, straight (and possibly a vampire)

Chris - born female, identifies as male, gay

[joanne3482]

Despite his appearance, Chris indicated he identifies as male and gay. Lathan identifies as male and straight, but there must be some fluidity for Lathan since he said he is falling for Chris. I get not wanting to put a label on himself, but the longer he hides the big transgender secret, the more Chris is going to be hurt by the lie. The right time to tell Chris would have been when Chris was indicating he was transgender. There's a perfect, hey me too, opportunity there.

Danielle' s dad seems to be a bit less restrictive in how she views her transition. She identifies as straight, but also indicated she has had better success dating ladies so perhaps falls more on the bisexual spectrum than straight but she can identify however she wants so straight she is until she says otherwise.

I dislike that after 4 episodes it is super clear that this is reality in the same way The Real World is. I really hoping for something other than a full blown "This is the story of 11 people thrown together because 3 of them are transgender."

[RemoteControlFreak]

I gave this show a fair chance, but now I'm calling bullshit on it.

 

It's obviously deliberately cast and scripted. One of the characters -- either Danielle or Brook -- posted to Twitter recently that she was happy to be able to reconnect with her "castmates" from Becoming Us.  If the four young people in the show (Ben, Danielle, Brook, Lathan and the guy you're calling "Waldo" whose name I don't recall) are all really either boyfriend, girlfriend, sister, brother, or best friend, they probably wouldn't refer to each other as "castmates."

 

The public storyline is also that Ben contacted TV producers with the idea of making a documentary series about his live. So he was probably looking at this as an opportunity to advance his photography career and engage in a little famewhoring. 

 

Also, the pretty scenes of Ben riding his bike everywhere represent a logistical long shot. He lives in Evanston.  Danielle lives in Libertyville. That's 27 miles apart, (29 minute drive, according to google Maps.)  And then they met up on the lakeshore in downtown Chicago which is  another 8-10 miles from Evanston. He's not just casually hopping on his fixie to tool up to Danielle's house or down to the Loop with a film crew in tow.

[Madding crowd]

Just watched the latest episode and I wonder how they decide what the focus in each episode should be. I thought the show would mostly be about Ben with Carly as the next primary character, but it seems more and people are introduced and featured each week. I guess I'm supposed to dislike Suzy but I don't. If my husband of 20 years (I've been married that long, don't remember about Suzy), told me he was really a woman and could no longer be my husband, I would feel unbearably hurt and betrayed. 

 

I've decided Carly is just kind of a snarky person and to me not totally likable. It's ok, a lot of us would come off that way. Danielle's dad seems great though and I hope he (he still wants to be identified as he) has some luck with on-line dating. He seems to have a great sense of humor.

 

I don't know if Danielle and Ben are really dating, or why Brook and Ayton are featured so much. Now we are meeting Ron, Suzy's sister, the new in-laws! Too many people.

[luvbadtv]

 

I don't know if Danielle and Ben are really dating, or why Brook and Ayton are featured so much. Now we are meeting Ron, Suzy's sister, the new in-laws! Too many people.

I was excited to see Ron Crawford.  He's an artist that does a lot of cool Evanston (and other places)  drawings.  I've seen his work around.  Check out his website.

 

So odd, and fake, that Ayton & Brook were at Sutton's engagement party, shower, etc.  Are they really friends with her?  Seems more like a TV invite.

[CarolMK]

I did some research about this show and was surprised to find out that Sutton is actually 30. Ben is only now 17 so I imagine she's been gone for quite a while living in New York...probably several years, but has been coming back to Chicago to plan her wedding. no idea where her fiancee and his parents are from, but they didn't actually meet until now? Also, Carly is 49, and Suzy is 58 and they were together for about 20 years before the divorce when Ben was 13, although they made it seem like this separation/divorce had literally just happened. I doubt she knows Ben's friends or has been involved in his life much at all, and it doesn't appear that her biological dad is in the picture at all if she feels her grandfather Ron is her closest father figure.

The weirdest thing is finace's parents asking Carly about the upcoming surgery at the dinner. Very strange, and I wonder why were they were even told about that part. Pretty personal of her to keep pursuing that, unless it was producer driven  I'm also finding it hard to believe that Ben has actually been dating Danielle for a year already. 

[Jadzia]

I think Sutton is really pretty and in her scenes with Carly, I was surprised to notice that they actually look alike despite not being blood related. Then I realized that Carly and Suzy actually looks alike so that is not surprising (and makes me wonder if that was part of then-Charlie's attraction to Suzy.)

 

Suzy's sister Jen was really bitchy at the wedding about Carly. I understand Suzy is hurt by Carly, but Jen just came off as really catty. I know this show is mostly fake, but I thought the scene with the finance's parents meeting Carly and Suzy was really well done. You could really see the hurt in Suzy's face when the parents were asking about Carly's surgery. 

 

I really like Danielle's dad (blanking on the name) but I am confused on why he (she?) still dresses like a man. In the dress shopping scene, he was wearing male clothes. Has he not transitioned yet? I am admittedly ignorant of trans culture, but I thought if he identified as a woman he would want to look the part. He seems more like an occasional cross-dresser than a woman.

 

I was also confused by Lathan coming out as trans in the last episode. I thought he was was an effeminate male, so learning he was born female surprised me. I kind of thought if you are identifying as male, you would want to avoid wearing things like puffy shirts and makeup. And I was really confused at why he didn't tell his new love interest he was also trans. That seems like a pretty big thing to hide in conversation when someone is telling you that. (Why wouldn't you say "Me too"?) Later he was going on about this person being "the one" and all I could think is how hurt he is going to be to find out Lathan didn't tell him when he had the opportunity. Seems like a pretty big lie of omission at the start of a relationship.

[joanne3482]

Just watched the latest episode and I wonder how they decide what the focus in each episode should be. I thought the show would mostly be about Ben with Carly as the next primary character, but it seems more and people are introduced and featured each week. I guess I'm supposed to dislike Suzy but I don't. If my husband of 20 years (I've been married that long, don't remember about Suzy), told me he was really a woman and could no longer be my husband, I would feel unbearably hurt and betrayed.

 

I agree. Especially since in this episode she said she started transitioning while they were still married and I recall in a previous episode she said something about finding lacy undies in Carly's possession and presuming Carly was cheating. 

 

I really like Danielle's dad (blanking on the name) but I am confused on why he (she?) still dresses like a man. In the dress shopping scene, he was wearing male clothes. Has he not transitioned yet? I am admittedly ignorant of trans culture, but I thought if he identified as a woman he would want to look the part. He seems more like an occasional cross-dresser than a woman.

 

I think, and I'm obviously playing armchair quarterback here, he doesn't feel confident enough to transition fully. I suspect he could probably benefit from some counseling.  He seems to WANT to transition but is afraid to really go there. He was so tickled about his bustier in the shopping episode.  He really needs a trans friend like Carly to help boost his esteem. He also seems to be very cognizant of his family in a way Carly seems to not be. Carly seemed to do what she wanted everyone else be damned. Danielle's dad seems to want to be sure whatever he does doesn't hurt Danielle. 

 

Also, Carly is 49, and Suzy is 58 and they were together for about 20 years before the divorce when Ben was 13, although they made it seem like this separation/divorce had literally just happened.

 

I wonder how much has been revealed to Ben over the years. Some of his reactions are as though this hasn't been going on for more than 4 years (based on the fact Carly said she started transitioning before they were divorced). I have never had a transgender family member, but it seems like Ben should be more adjusted to this than he is. Given that it has been 4 plus years, I also think Suzy should be more adjusted to this than she is. It does make me wonder if Carly has been less active in Ben's life post divorce and that's part of Suzy's issue with Carly, she had to do the heavy lifting while Carly was doing her own thing for the past 4 years. 

[CarolMK]

One thing that I think the show should address is Carly's alcoholism. I wonder if any of that had to do with the divorce. She made it clear she was drinking heavily when Ben was younger, and I wonder for how long and did she ever go to rehab, is she sober now, etc?

 

Danielle's dad apparently has been transitioning longer than 10 years, because didn't Danielle say it started when she was 7 and she's now 18? And episode one it was shown that Carly was helping out with bra shopping? That seems like a long time to wait to start finding bras, so I'm not sure about Daniel either. 

[CarolMK]

I guess everyone has given up on this show? All I can say is that I think the one breakup between Ayton and his girlfriend seemed staged. The breakup between Ben and Danielle seemed more real, but it seems like it's been more of a friendship than a romantic relationship anyway. It bugs me that Danielle looks at least 5 years older than Ben although she's supposed to be 18. 

[joanne3482]

The fact that Ayton and his girlfriend are "together" seems staged. When they were first shown I didn't realize they were a couple. And she can do WAY better than Ayton. To me, he was preying on all her insecurities and made it seem like she was in the wrong, when she wasn't. She may have been passive/aggressive in the way she handled the food thing, she could have handled that better, Ayton just seemed like he was focused on Ayton. 

 

Danielle seemed more into Ben than Ben into her. I wonder if she was his first significant girlfriend and he just didn't know how to extricate himself when it becamse something he wasn't interested in anymore. 

 

I don't like the new 10:00 PM time slot. I had a Monday night system and this is throwing off my schedule. 

[Indy]

The more I watch this show, the less I like the people I'm watching.  I think that Danielle and her dad (especially her dad) are the only ones I like.  Suzy is okay, I do feel bad that everything is Carly-Carly-Carly even when it shouldn't be (though that also could be super producer driven....hey random lady, go ask Carly about her lady bits!) and if Sutton wasn't so "on" all the time, I might like her more but I feel like she's constantly in theater mode and that's irritating after a while.  But even Ben and Carly but, and Ben's friends are just not people I want to watch or learn about.

[calliope1975]

The more I watch this show, the less I like the people I'm watching.  I think that Danielle and her dad (especially her dad) are the only ones I like.  

 

I completely agree. As I was watching, I was struck by how much I didn't care to watch the sister plan her wedding. I know all reality shows are scripted, some to a larger degree than others, but this one is so terrible at making any of the interactions seem natural.

[Madding crowd]

I like this show because I live in the Chicago area, and I also like quirky shows that follow regular people around. But, I can't see this getting enough of an audience to last; it's all over the place. It was advertised as a show about a family adjusting when one family member changed from being a dad to a mom. Instead, the show is not really about that at all, and the parts that are brought up about Carly seem kind of tacked on.

 

There is no reason for such a large part of the show to be about Brook, Ayton and Lathan. Even if Ben was a good friend of Ayton's (and there seems to be at least a few years age difference), there doesn't need to be a running storyline about Ayton's girlfriend and her brother. I believe Ben and Ayton know each other, but I'm not sure they are close friends. I have a son Ben's age and I don't think he would hang around with or have a lot in common with someone in their 20's. 

 

I also am not that interested in Sutton's story. I'm sure she is a nice person, but she is clearly trying to use this show as a vehicle for her acting career, and any comments she throws in about Carly don't seem genuine. I also think she and her fiancé look alike, just like Carly and Suzy look alike. Weird.

 

All in all, I think they wanted a Caitlin Jenner type of story, but somehow ended up with a MTV type teen show. 

[joanne3482]

To me it feels too fake because if they had relationships before the show started (which I'm not sure they did), they had to know each other from some sort of transgender family support group or chatroom or something. And if that's the case I wish they would address that. It feels super dishonest to pretend that this group just happened to come together and just happened to have transgender family members. Especially given how far apart they apparently live.

 

There is no reason for such a large part of the show to be about Brook, Ayton and Lathan. Even if Ben was a good friend of Ayton's (and there seems to be at least a few years age difference), there doesn't need to be a running storyline about Ayton's girlfriend and her brother. I believe Ben and Ayton know each other, but I'm not sure they are close friends.

I think Ben probably knew Brook first and then met Ayton through Brook and they hit it off. Otherwise how does a high school kid even meet these college aged adults.

 

Because I'm unkind, I was glad the store called out their t-shirt for being bad. It was bad and they needed to hear it.

[Indy]

To me it feels too fake because if they had relationships before the show started (which I'm not sure they did), they had to know each other from some sort of transgender family support group or chatroom or something. And if that's the case I wish they would address that. It feels super dishonest to pretend that this group just happened to come together and just happened to have transgender family members. Especially given how far apart they apparently live.

ITA.  I would bet that Ben, Danielle, and Brook met through some sort of support group, whether IRL or online.  Then Ben met Ayton through Brook.  Its far too coincidental and unbelievable for him to have a best friend who is 5 years older and also has a trans sibling. It would be more interesting to follow their real stories than the made up drama crap. Maybe it wouldn't work as a series but it would ba a good 2 hour documentary.

 

 

Because I'm unkind, I was glad the store called out their t-shirt for being bad. It was bad and they needed to hear it.

Me too!! The shirt looked so bad. So very bad.

[CarolMK]

I'm around Carly's age, and have one teen and one young adult son and I was curious about this show because I wanted to find out how Carly decided to transition and what built up to it over the years and how she handled it with her ex as well as her relationships with Ben and his older sister. But I don't think they're showing enough of this. I actually found the new show about a transgendered teen "I Am Jazz" on TLC much more focused and informative about how Jazz is dealing with living as a transgendered teen about to enter high school. The show focused much more on her family relationships , not so much her friends, and that was nice to see.

[Indy]

I just watched an episode of Frontline (PBS) called "Growing up Trans," about several trans kids. It focuses specifically about their entrance into puberty, hormone blockers, and transitioning during childhood.  It was very, very interesting.  Much better than Becoming Us, that's for sure! 

[Scarlett45]

I'm around Carly's age, and have one teen and one young adult son and I was curious about this show because I wanted to find out how Carly decided to transition and what built up to it over the years and how she handled it with her ex as well as her relationships with Ben and his older sister. But I don't think they're showing enough of this. I actually found the new show about a transgendered teen "I Am Jazz" on TLC much more focused and informative about how Jazz is dealing with living as a transgendered teen about to enter high school. The show focused much more on her family relationships , not so much her friends, and that was nice to see.

Your post caused me to check out I Am Jazz, and so far I'm enjoying it a lot more than this show.

[Madding crowd]

The episode tonight was really emotional. I felt really bad that Ben (since he's a teenager), had to have that televised, it really should have been a private moment. I thought Carly's letter was well written, but I still don't think she is putting Ben first, which she should do as parent. If it would make it easier on Ben, why can't she let him call her Dad while he gets used to things? The important thing is Carly is moving ahead with her life; whether she is called dad or mom isn't the most important thing.

 

I really like Daniel and feel bad that he is having trouble finding dates. I'm sure all women (and some men), in their 40's and 50's have some troubles in that area. He is an interesting person because I'm not really sure why he is still living part of the time as a man-it just goes to show there are all kinds of people in the transgender community. If nothing else, this show has taught me some things and I really like Ben. 

[joanne3482]

Carly is definitely putting Carly first. I felt really badly when Ben said that he would call Carly "dad" and Carly would ignore him.  That's just not right in this type of scenario. It was such a contrast to Daniel and Danielle. He's kept from fully transitioning to protect Danielle because her school is too conservative. That's a level of selflessness that Carly just can't understand.

 

I felt a little sad for Danielle that she didn't know the difference between Fiction and Non-Fiction. Her school can't be THAT great if she didn't know the difference.