Jaclyn & Ryan R

[JAndy]

They weren't bad tonight.

[Snarklepuss]

Speaking of their personality differences, I'm beginning to think the real difference between Ryan and Jaclyn is that she might be a thinking type and he's a feeling type.  She is always talking very convincingly and rationally about the relationship and seems invested in it based on very neat, orderly rational reasoning in her head, and she expects her feelings to follow that reasoning.  He on the other hand needs to FEEL right about everything first and foremost no matter how rational things can appear in his head.  That's why he said last night that he can't move ahead with a sexual relationship if his feelings for Jaclyn aren't there.  I think it's also why Jaclyn sees Ryan as being more like the "female" in that he needs to FEEL right about the relationship before he can agree to have sex.   It's why she called him "different" - She's probably used to dealing with thinking type men* who make a rational decision and act upon it, not get caught up in confusing feelings.  I think she needed to feel right about it too, but her feelings seem to easily follow her rationalizations.  Once her head was convinced about Ryan her feelings suddenly were able to come out.  He on the other hand seems to go with his messy, mysterious feelings first no matter what his head is telling him.  Even if his head told him Jaclyn was the perfect woman and he just didn't feel it yet, he's not budging until he does.  That's not necessarily a "female" trait, but I can understand why Jaclyn is seeing it that way, because traditionally women have been the ones to put their feelings about a relationship first.

 

ETA: * or at least more intelligent feeling type men with a more developed thinking side.

Edited May 20, 2015 by Snarklepuss

[molshoop]

I still like Ryan R. as much as I did in the first episode and I understand his reactions to Jaclyn.

She did a 180 from "Hey Dude, I'm not into you but we can be buddies and hang out for 6 weeks,as long as I get to control the friendship"  to  " I want to have sex all day long and make babies, but I still need to take the lead as I plan our entire lives together"

Yes, Ryan felt overwhelmed by that sudden change in direction.  I would too.  He wants to be fair to Jaclyn, while giving himself time to see if what he is feeling will grow into love and if she is the one he wants to spend his life with.

I don't find him to be boring.  I think he has a great sense of humor, is self aware and kind.  I do think he was struggling to find the right words to tell J. how he felt without hurting her feelings. And while I agree that he seemed checked out, sometimes you need to get out of your own head for a while before you can think clearly.

Jaclyn didn't have sex for 2 years, because she wanted there to be an emotional connection first. But you can't order someone to be in the same place emotionally as you are, just like you can't order food for them and expect them to love the meal as much as you do.

I don't see him as the stereotypical guy who is living in mom's basement.  He has a job and is probably helping to support his mother and niece financially as well as emotionally.
He is very much like a single parent who also feels a responsibility to his elderly mother while trying to have his own life. I don't think going on this show was the way to do that.

[CindyBee]

I still think Jaclyn and Ryan have a chance to make this work as unlike the others they at least seem to like each other as people. And for me thats a big deal. Guess we'll see how the remaining 10 days go.

[JAndy]

I still think Jaclyn and Ryan have a chance to make this work as unlike the others they at least seem to like each other as people. And for me thats a big deal. Guess we'll see how the remaining 10 days go.

Yea I agree. They really aren't that bad together. Aside from the bad teeth, Ryan reminds me of my husband. With his laid back personality and how he keeps his tone even all the time. I don't find it to be boring.

[Waterlilly]

I know one thing for sure. That Ryan is a house cleaning sunny gun, what women wouldn't want to keep him!

[CindyBee]

I find the talking head bits that gets put up on A&E/FYI websites gives a bit more insight than what is being shown during the the actual show with Jaclyn & Ryan.  In this week's clip, they seem pretty happy to me:

 

http://www.aetv.com/married-at-first-sight/video/jaclyn-and-ryan-climb-some-walls

[moonxyz]

Basement is so boring, vanilla, uninteresting. This is a terrible match. 

[Snarklepuss]

I find the talking head bits that gets put up on A&E/FYI websites gives a bit more insight than what is being shown during the the actual show with Jaclyn & Ryan.  In this week's clip, they seem pretty happy to me:

 

http://www.aetv.com/married-at-first-sight/video/jaclyn-and-ryan-climb-some-walls

 

Hmmmmm......I think I saw all that on the show - I watched it on FYI where the show is 15 minutes longer than on A&E, maybe that's why?

[LeonD]

If I were in Jaclyn's position, I'd be done with Ryan. Her saying "I Do" up at that altar was her giving him a chance. Now, not only is she not physically attracted to him but he is displaying undesirable characteristics. He is acting like a child. While I agree that Jaclyn is too over-the-top, I don't believe that that is Ryan's issue with her. He is running. He looks like a lost puppy. He wants to be back home not because of his niece, not because of his mom, but because he is not ready for this marriage. I do not believe he has ever lived outside of his mom's basement. It is so much easier to blame it all on the commute and Jaclyn's personality but Ryan seems truly lost.

And I am willing to chalk this all up to producer driven storyline since they were fine a few episodes ago.

Do you understand why Ryan felt the way he did about the amount of sex and why he felt overwhelmed though.

When it comes to sex very relationship goes through phases. You meet, you date, you have sex once or twice a day. It's once you both feel emotionally connected and truly emotionally satisfied in the relationship that you naturally want to do it everyday all the time, with 7 times a day marathons. At least that's how it is for most people.

Jaclyn however, having not had sex in 2 years clearly had a lot of pent up sexual energy. She went too fast into having sex all the time when Ryan wasn't quite emotionally connected or satisfied enough. He wasn't ready to go from 0-60 for quickly.

Ryan R is clearly an emotionally sensitive guy. If it doesn't feel right for him it affects him. Most macho guys would have tried to push through and have sex all the time even if they weren't quite emotionally there yet, Ryan didn't. He slowed it down.

To me that's a sign of a guy who's thinking of this relationship as something Long term and he's trying to hold back a little so they have something to be excited about later.

[Jel]

I like these two so much and really hope it works out for them.  They seem like genuinely nice people, and I would be happy to have them both for friends.  

 

And OMIGOD, Ryan's mother! How adorable is she?  Such a sweetheart.  And the niece, also adorbs.  I really wish for good things for this family.

[Snarklepuss]

I love Ryan's mother.  She reminds me of my grandma who died 30 years ago this year, (may she rest in peace).  She seems like far more fun than her droning stuffed nostril monotone son.

[CindyBee]

I love Ryan's mother.  She reminds me of my grandma who died 30 years ago this year, (may she rest in peace).  She seems like far more fun than her droning stuffed nostril monotone son.

 

Yes Mama Ryan seems like she'd be a great person to get to know.   I loved her saying  (after Jaclyn & Kayla left to the craft store) "well that was nice" to her little dog. 

 

I do worry that she doesn't look well.  I'm sure the shock of loosing a daughter to cancer, then having to raise a young child again has been very hard on her and I wish her well. 

[JapMo]

 

Yes Mama Ryan seems like she'd be a great person to get to know.   I loved her saying  (after Jaclyn & Kayla left to the craft store) "well that was nice" to her little dog. 

 

I do worry that she doesn't look well.  I'm sure the shock of loosing a daughter to cancer, then having to raise a young child again has been very hard on her and I wish her well.

 

Neither she nor Kayla look particularly healthy. Kayla looks pasty. Of course it could be the camera lights, and as a child she doesn't wear any makeup. But from the first episode I thought both she and his mom look sickly.

[Waterlilly]

Maybe it was the rough winter they had.

[aven]

Both Ryan R and Ryan D have terrific mothers so maybe they'll both make good husbands eventually.  Ryan R knows how to turn on the charm, but he is not ready for marriage and he found out the hard way--an instant marriage that has left him in shock and dismay.  His "kiss and tell" episode describing Jaclyn as a sex maniac was terrible--his big mouth was a turnoff and says a lot about him. No woman deserves such shoddy treatment in front of the whole world.  Say bye bye, Jaclyn. 

[Liberty]

.. but he is not ready for marriage and he found out the hard way--an instant marriage that has left him in shock and dismay. ...

 

Could he possibly have said he was geographically flexible before they connected him with someone from NJ?

 

Imagine how his dreams of marital bliss where shattered when he encountered someone who really did not find living in the basement of his mother's Lon Gisland estate ideal.  Until one is ready to leave one's mother, one indeed is not ready for marriage.  His mother has seemed more accepting than he has.  (Of course there is more going on with this family than they have exposed on the show).

 

I do like Jaclyn's Jersey sense of style.

[Vinyasa]

I like Ryan but I'm so sick of him saying "me and Jaclyn"........ It is "Jaclyn and I", right?

 

Also, I think I like him because I can't stand Sean and the hot headed other Ryan.

[pinkelephant3]

I like Ryan but I'm so sick of him saying "me and Jaclyn"........ It is "Jaclyn and I", right?

Also, I think I like him because I can't stand Sean and the hot headed other Ryan.

It depends on the context and how you are using me/I

[aven]

Ryan constantly uses "Me and Jaclyn" as the subject of his sentences--this is incorrect so back to 5th grade English.

[Trixie Belden]

I find the talking head bits that gets put up on A&E/FYI websites gives a bit more insight than what is being shown during the the actual show with Jaclyn & Ryan.  In this week's clip, they seem pretty happy to me:

 

http://www.aetv.com/married-at-first-sight/video/jaclyn-and-ryan-climb-some-walls

 

Awwww, Ryan really shows in that clip that he has a strong sense of self and a sense of humor.  When Jaclyn admitted that she wasn't attracted to him at the wedding, he laughed and said it was ok "I know this mug isn't for everyone".  These two truly care for each other's feelings, they consider their responsibilites to each other and to the entire relationship and they respect each other, which is ultimately the most important thing in any relationship, platonic or romantic.  I think Jaclyn is good for Ryan, she pushes him to grow and experience things he wouldn't ordinarily consider and would miss out on.  He's a good sport about things (Indian food excepted).  

[Liberty]

Ryan's reaction when eating the Indian food was tremendously rude from several standpoints. 

 

Jaclyn has tried so very hard to contribute to this marriage.  Of the 6 in this experiment she has put forth the most effort.  I hope good things come her way.

[CindyBee]

I've never done a 180 on a reality contestant has I have on Ryan.  At first I really liked him; now 14 episodes later, I can't stand him as that bit with the Indian food was beyond rude on his part.  And I think my dislike all started when Jac went off to her conference and he never, ever bothered to check on her, this is after becoming intimate.   What a shitty way to act and too bad Jac had her contract as she should have gotten off the plane on the return trip and kept on going all the way back to New Jersey!

[Kareem]

Yes. It made me sad when she said she didn't want to go home...

[Waterlilly]

I think Ryan is a good guy, just not good for Jaclyn. I am sure we didn't see a lot, but it appeared that he didn't compromise on the holidays and didn't visit with her family like she did with his. IMHO Ryan can be a taker and Jaclyn is a giver, that can work somewhat but the taker has to give some or give in some. I really like both of them based on what I have seen, but they don't seem to be a good match. I hope they remain friends though. I love Jaclyn's energy, nothing wrong with being a 15!

[Waterlilly]

I don't think I want to know what that is...

[algebra]

Me neither

[spankydoll]

http://starcasm.net/archives/318916

 

Divorcing

[lucyandricky]

I was kind of rooting for these two, but I guess things were not what they seemed.  Jaclyn, if you are reading this…you were such a great sport through the whole series, and hopefully lots of people learn from your mature and positive attitude, I know I sure did.  Best of luck girl, happiness is right around the corner :)

Edited June 16, 2015 by lucyandricky

[rulesoftravel]

I'm pretty sure that nothing on this show is what it seemed.   

[crazychicken]

This season it was defiantly a controversial experiment isn't that they have always billed it as, the experts just matched couples to live up to the hype, none of this romance like last season lets see if we showcase dysfunction and make people believe that is normal.

[HumblePi]

[algebra]

It seems Ryan has revealed himself to be the consummate asshole in this

[moonxyz]

In the end Ryan came on this show to be on TV: the perks, meals, trips etc. He had no intention of committing to anyone unwilling to live in the basement. The picking up girls in casinos was the first red flag. That and living in the basement while none of his borthers, who are just as responsible for mom and Kayla, live in the house. He's a freeloading loser period. I resent A&E for giving him the good guy edit. 

[okerry]

I resent A&E for giving him the good guy edit.

 

I resent them even more for marrying him to Jaclyn!

[Waterlilly]

Ryan Runalong. I just read that on Facebook. Ha Ha, and Mookiesms, funny things the cat would say, lol.

[mamey2422]

I resent A&E for giving him the good guy edit.

And I feel like such a sucker for falling for that edit. I was really rooting for them and should have known better.

[rulesoftravel]

Me too.  Even knowing that it's all so edited and what we see is not always what happened, I believed those happy pictures of him playing guitar and grinning at Jaclyn.    I'm pretty disappointed in me.

[Gigi43]

I was a sucker for Ryan R. For me, it was slightly personal. The whole "taking care of his family"... my brother, apparently made it clear and it was an issue in his last relationship that she had a goal of eventually moving upstate, and he is set on not going too far that he can't check on me/visit me in the hospital (I tend to go there a lot, having a congenital disorder.) I don't consider my brother a mama's boy or too attached, he really is just someone whose unfortunely has seen good reasons to stay around. So, yeah, I fell for Ryan and wished some people would be more understanding of his situation (and that I know a few people at his age living at home just because NY is expensive and they don't want to sink their checks into rent, but they sure as shit contribute to the house (I still live at home because I can't live alone and wouldn't want to put that on a roomate, ever).) Of course though I was scammed by editing. Jaclyn saw this all go down, so while I know the experts were pushing her, I don't know why she gave him the kind of chance she apparently did. If he was going home every night, and then stopped contacting her? She should have had divorce arrangements in place and written him off by the Spring.

Edited June 20, 2015 by Gigi43

[Stinamaia]

Big hug, Gigi

 

I also never slammed Ryan for living at his mother's house or for wanting to be near his niece.   Taking care of family is an honorable commitment.  I didn't even have alarm bells about him feeling badly about missing them.   I thought it was strange that he thought Jaclyn wanted too much sex, and his not contacting her while she was gone, seemed like a big mistake when trying to build a relationship.  Clearly, he just wasn't that interested in her at some point.  What I don't understand is why he told her he wanted to continue the relationship when he knew he had no interest in the relationship and when he knew that she had stronger feelings for him.   I think Jaclyn did fall for him and put aside her doubts when he said he wanted a relationship.   Then, he just dropped her completely.  

 

I'm glad your brother wants to be there for you, and I hope the next woman in his life understands that and accepts it.  He would be less of a person if he didn't.

[Gigi43]

Aw, thanks! I'm not like a shut in or anything (I feel like I may have made myself out to be worse than I am, reading the post back and I'd hate feel like I'm Pulling A Ryan on y'all.) But, I wanted to explain how hard I was suckered into Ryan, thinking he had these genuine relateable things going on and everything.

 

It's kinda weird that actually, the way Jessica would go on about her Ex's especially in the beginning, sort've reminded me of the ex girlfriend! Apparently it was also my brothers job to make up for those relationships. So it wasn't the only issue. Bye, Girl!

 

Jaclyn is my favorite from the season but hate to say it, but knowing how she put up with Ryan now that we know more, I kind of think less of her. Or maybe, I should say, I feel like she really needs to think more of herself. No one should put up with being dropped like that.

[ElectricCityy]

Ryan just wanted to be on tv and he sure loved all the attention he was getting on Twitter before the edit started showing his true colors. He's an asshole for blaming it all on Jaclyn's sex drive and personality when he just didn't want to be married.

[Gigi43]

I seriously wonder if there was more than just pressure from the show to stay married, meaning did they get some kind of bonus for staying together. If these guys were really done with the relationships why else would they drag out not getting the divorce. I would think they'd want that tie broken ASAP. Unless there was something more in it for them or the show made them one hell of a promise the divorce will be all handled in a neat little bow if they waited until after the reunion.

[qtpye]

I was disappointed as hell that the reunion the experts kept pressuring Jacklyn to be with a man who simply does not care for her at all.  Also, why the hell were they not lecturing Ryan?  He was the one that threw away the relationship to go mooch off his mother.

 

It is like the experts are in a 1950's mindset that if a relationship goes bad it is always the woman's fault.  A guy ignores you and treats you like garbage because he is a weak pathetic loser...well the experts think you are being too rigid and should give him a second chance.  Horrible relationship advice, because you are never going to make him love you and he is really not worth your precious time and effort.

[zxy556575]

Thinking about it, I'm not sure the experts were pressuring Jaclyn, exactly. They focused on her because she's the one who kept repeating that she already tried and Ryan wasn't interested. Ryan -- per usual -- didn't say squat, so by his silence made it seem like he was willing to give it another try.

 

I cannot believe this guy has a successful career in real estate, which isn't a field for dishrags. He currently has six listings. Be interesting to know if any of those clients sought him out because of the show.

[qtpye]

Thinking about it, I'm not sure the experts were pressuring Jaclyn, exactly. They focused on her because she's the one who kept repeating that she already tried and Ryan wasn't interested. Ryan -- per usual -- didn't say squat, so by his silence made it seem like he was willing to give it another try

 

 

Then why the heck did the experts not hold him accountable in any way?  Why did they not ask Ryan, hey you acted like you wanted to be with Jaclyn before on camera and then bailed on her when push comes to shove.  Low and behold what did Ryan do this time...he bailed on the dinner they where supposed to attend after the six month reunion show.

 

Please understand I am not trying to argue with you...who I am sure is just as disgusted by his behavior as I am.  I am just horrified about how little the experts cared about the health (physical and emotional) and well being of the women.  Jacklyn was more then ready to move on, only to be humiliated again by this creep, mostly due to the "expert" advice she trusted.

[humbleopinion]

This season has set the bar is set so low for the men.

Can we expect the 2 escaped felons from the Clinton Correctional Facility to be 2 0f the 3 on the show the season after Atlanta?

[zxy556575]

Then why the heck did the experts not hold him accountable in any way?  Why did they not ask Ryan, hey you acted like you wanted to be with Jaclyn before on camera and then bailed on her when push comes to shove.  Low and behold what did Ryan do this time...he bailed on the dinner they where supposed to attend after the six month reunion show.

 

Well, yeah. I was probably grasping at straws to rationalize why the panelists would react sooo unprofessionally.

[Phoenix]

This season has set the bar is set so low for the men.

Can we expect the 2 escaped felons from the Clinton Correctional Facility to be 2 0f the 3 on the show the season after Atlanta?

LOL...But you have a point because the guys this season were one step above the two escaped felons.  The Ryan's and Sean were con artists for sure, and never had any pure intentions towards this process or the point of this show.  They are fame/money seekers.  And none of them had any meaningful relationships in the past...none of them were looking for marriage.  And the "experts" are equally at fault for endorsing all of it. 

Edited June 21, 2015 by Phoenix

[aven]

I agree that the most disturbing part of the "6 Montha Later" was the experts trying so hard to keep Jaclyn and Ryan together.  While everyone believed in Ryan at the beginning, he showed his Mama's boy immaturity early on and his horrific rejection of Jaclyn was  painful, all of which he covered up with lies and pretense for the cameras.  While all 3 men are adolescent weaklings, Ryan is the most hypocritical, even in the "6 Months Later" pretending to  want to continue with Jaclyn.  Although Jaclyn made it clear she had not heard from this jerk for months, the "experts" still believed in him and wanted Jaclyn to continue the torture.  Some experts.