Pet Peeves: Aka Things That Make You Go "Gah!"

[Bastet]

Yeah, I think potlucks have their place in socializing (e.g. for a group that gathers regularly, but someplace other than in someone's home, so rotating hosting duties isn't possible), but people who routinely or randomly invite guests to a party in their home without actually, you know, hosting a party chap my ass, and I stay home.

I have friends in the early stages of wedding planning, and they both make great money but don't save a penny of it, so they keep talking about stuff they don't want to provide to their guests because of cost, and I am sitting there saying, "Then these invitations damn well better say 'Absolutely no gifts,' you tacky twits."  Or, you know, just go get married without all of us; nice and cheap.

Edited February 6, 2017 by Bastet

[ari333]

Agreed with above. If it is a huge event at a church, etc potlucks have their place. imo. However, if it is a party at our home we supply everything or we don't do it at all. And we don't do it on the cheap and crappy.

[JTMacc99]

21 minutes ago, ari333 said:

He cameout of the room asking "What the hell?"  She said, "Sorry. I thought it was (myname here) who was sleeping" So he got it after that.

What a raging asshole.  

So many people just suck. I did spend quite a long time just going to work, coming home and concentrating on my kids without any real socializing or extensive family time before deciding to get back into the world in 2016. I'm not 100% sure if being a semi-shut in wasn't actually the best course of action.

[Qoass]

Yeah, I guess most of the time when I'm peeved, I'm really peeved at myself for going out of my comfort zone out of some misplaced sense of obligation.

Edited February 6, 2017 by Qoass

[ari333]

1 minute ago, JTMacc99 said:

What a raging asshole.  

So many people just suck. I did spend quite a long time just going to work, coming home and concentrating on my kids without any real socializing or extensive family time before deciding to get back into the world in 2016. I'm not 100% sure if being a semi-shut in wasn't actually the best course of action.

Thank you for that validation. Raging asshole fits. I thought I was being petty, so I ignored it all for a long time. At some point it's too much.

[Bastet]

2 minutes ago, Qoass said:

I understand your aversions to pot lucks but my exaggerated sense of etiquette will absolutely prevent me from showing up at someone's home empty-handed.

Oh, of course I bring a little something for the host.  That's a separate thing entirely from sending out an invitation that instructs all guests to take up the task of supplying food and drink.

[Qoass]

Sorry, Bastet, I deleted that post because that's totally true.

[ari333]

Maybe I should take my further rants to chit chat thread. . They're kind of peevey though.... :-)

[JTMacc99]

No, I think it fits in pretty well here.

Anybody else notice that the Pet Peeves thread is lit up as red with a little burning flame icon right now?  Heh. That's a nice touch.

[Bastet]

Yes, we've been prolific with our peeves this morning, so it's a "hot topic" right now.

And, ari333, rant away -- it's what we do.

[ari333]

Awww... thanks, you guys.  great friends and listeners/readers here! I have a boatload of peeves, so don't encourage me :-)

[zxy556575]

My experience with pot lucks are exclusively at work, but I will go seriously out of my way to avoid them, even taking a vacation day when one is scheduled. I mean, what's the attraction:

• I'm not a good cook so my offerings will be store bought, making me feel inadequate
• I'm a picky eater and afraid of offending someone by not liking/finishing their unidentifiable food
• It's a pain in the ass to keep food warm and/or cool as needed in the office lunch room
• There will probably be eight different desserts and no main courses
• Schlepping a large serving of food into an office, then eating on paper plates with plastic utensils
• Overflowing office trashcans
• Somehow I'm always the one who cleans up afterwards

The last time I hosted a gathering at my house, it was a brunch for 8 women friends and I ordered so much (catered) food that it became the joke of the party. I'm terrified at the thought of not having enough!

[topanga]

58 minutes ago, ari333 said:

I'm not sure if this is a peeve per se or a rant , but I think it can fall in the peeve category. My boyfriend has an adult nephew who has a girlfriend who hates me for reasons unknown to me except I'm white and they're Latino. she clearly wants me out of the picture. Anyway..... she finds fault with me for everything.. For one example,  she comments on the carpet andthat I don't  know how to vacuum. etc

I go to a  lot of trouble to cook homemade dinners and invite them to eat with us. She acts like the food is inedible even when I cook Mexican food and use my bf's mom's recipe. Long story short,  I got irritated so I hatched a plan. I know she loves KFC food so I bought some and put it in bowls as if I had made it and sure enough... she "hated " it. the chicken, mashed potatoes, green beans, .....why? because the idiot American woman (me) "cant cook." Well. "it's KFC bitch".

And footnote my bf loves my food . The nephew is a sweet guy. Cant stand his gf so I've had enough of her insulting me in my own home. rude

It's three against one. So why doesn't the nephew dump her already? Seriously, she doesn't sound like a nice person. If the nephew has any sense, she won't be around long.

54 minutes ago, ari333 said:

She's always telling my bf that he canget someone younger, thinner and not white. Well. shebetter watch what she wishes for bc she aint all that and if the uncle (my bf) gets a new hot woman , the nephew  might follow suit. She's trying hard to get rid of me and it is damn irritating. He is the only family my bf has here.  I made an effort with her but I've had enough.

What an ass. I wish she would articulate her true feelings--she needs to grow up and talk to someone like an adult, not a brat. And it shouldn't be you--this honestly isn't your issue at all. Irrational as it is, people of color sometimes feel betrayed or rejected when a person from their culture chooses someone of another race. Again, it's irrational, and this racial discrimination is downright wrong. But she needs to talk to her nephew or your bf about it. Blasting the stereo and insulting your cooking--or the Colonel's cooking--is just juvenile. 

 

33 minutes ago, ari333 said:

Agreed with above. If it is a huge event at a church, etc potlucks have their place. imo. However, if it is a party at our home we supply everything or we don't do it at all. And we don't do it on the cheap and crappy.

I agree with you--in general. But it makes my blood boil to have to feed an able-bodied adult who comes to your house for every holiday meal and never brings anything. 

I'm talking about my husband's sister, who is really sweet and kind. She's in her 40s as we are, but she's single, and her son lives in Indianapolis.  She comes over to our house for every holiday meal and party, which is fine. But fucking bring a dish--or at least offer to bring one or ask if we need help in the kitchen. It would be different if this sister thought I loved slaving away in the kitchen all day, but she hears me complain about having to miss a great football play or a funny Superbowl commercial because I was in the kitchen cooking. Or simply complain about being the only one doing the cooking. Yes, my husband does help, but this free-loading sister could help, too. 

[Sun-Bun]

Oh yes, you NEVER show up at a party empty-handed, potluck or not! Host/hostess gifts are always an expected common courtesy as a guest: a nice bottle of wine, or gourmet candy/treats, a candle, napkins, etc....I love bringing something fun to the hosts. I just hate being made to feel like I'm part of the catering staff, shlepping in a dish of food/bottle of wine to someone else's party.

Lord Donia, I'm so there with you on the awful forced merriment of office pot-luck parties---sounds like you've been to a few of mine, complete with the excessive dessert offerings, plastic silverware and general feelings of inadequacy.

This past year my boss threw the annual staff pot-luck Christmas party. Never mind that this rich woman lives in a huge McMansion in a nice part of town with her much richer husband: we all still had to bring dishes AND it was BYOB. Never mind that we don't even get any annual Christmas bonuses or gifts. Needless to say, I magically developed a mystery illness that prevented me from attending that fabulous affair.

[ari333]

14 minutes ago, topanga said:

It's three against one. So why doesn't the nephew dump her already? Seriously, she doesn't sound like a nice person. If the nephew has any sense, she won't be around long.

What an ass. I wish she would articulate her true feelings--she needs to grow up and talk to someone like an adult, not a brat. And it shouldn't be you--this honestly isn't your issue at all. Irrational as it is, people of color sometimes feel betrayed or rejected when a person from their culture chooses someone of another race. Again, it's irrational, and this racial discrimination is downright wrong. But she needs to talk to her nephew or your bf about it. Blasting the stereo and insulting your cooking--or the Colonel's cooking--is just juvenile. 

 

I agree with you--in general. But it makes my blood boil to have to feed an able-bodied adult who comes to your house for every holiday meal and never brings anything. 

I'm talking about my husband's sister, who is really sweet and kind. She's in her 40s as we are, but she's single, and her son lives in Indianapolis.  She comes over to our house for every holiday meal and party, which is fine. But fucking bring a dish--or at least offer to bring one or ask if we need help in the kitchen. It would be different if this sister thought I loved slaving away in the kitchen all day, but she hears me complain about having to miss a great football play or a funny Superbowl commercial because I was in the kitchen cooking. Or simply complain about being the only one doing the cooking. Yes, my husband does help, but this free-loading sister could help, too. 

Thank you! And freeloading is a whole other issue and I see your point.

For clarification , my bf is the uncle (35) and his nephew (7 yrs younger) is the one with the bitch gf. (35), I am 55 and feel the heat of all the remarks from her. My bf and I have been together 7 years and happy. He looks a little older and I guess before I looked a little younger so the age thing was not so drastic. But I resent her always down talking me. She is overweight (as am I, chubby) and she is  just not all that, so I feel angry that she's always whispering about how my bf could "do better".  The nephew apparently loves her bc he's still with her. She tells my bf that he can replace me (uggg those words) with a hot young thin thing..... well she might get replaced too so she may better shut her hole. Sorry I am on a rant. These things seem really personal and embarrassing but I need to vent.

Edited February 6, 2017 by ari333

[DeLurker]

@ari333 - how old is this person?  Because this sounds like jr high crap...take the high road and ignore her as much as possible.  If she makes another really bad swipe at you, explain to the nephew that her behavior* is really impacting how much you enjoy seeing him since it is usually a package deal.

*behavior and not attitude because she outright speaks and conducts herself in an offensive manner.

[ari333]

3 minutes ago, DeLurker said:

@ari333 - how old is this person?  Because this sounds like jr high crap...take the high road and ignore her as much as possible.  If she makes another really bad swipe at you, explain to the nephew that her behavior* is really impacting how much you enjoy seeing him since it is usually a package deal.

 

This woman is 35and I said the exact words. Jr high crap. There is more to this story but I don't want to bore everyone and derail the thread. But I am liking the advice. It makes me feel better. Hugs all. Thank you. I feel better. Still mad, but better...

[Wings]

1 minute ago, ari333 said:

This woman is 35and I said the exact words. Jr high crap. There is more to this story but I don't want to bore everyone and derail the thread. But I am liking the advice. It makes me feel better. Hugs all. Thank you. I feel better. Still mad, but better...

It is time to stop inviting them to your home.  Be honest with your BF and nephew.  Tell them you will no longer tolerate her demeaning and rude behavior and stick to it.  Your nephew will not like being left out of gatherings  and hopefully talk to her about it.  I am shocked he hasn't already.  He is a guilty as she is.   We teach people how to treat us.  Since you have been tolerant, she thinks is is fine to continue this behavior.  Put a stop to it.  And stop it now.  I am shocked the rest of the family is putting up with this. 

[ari333]

3 minutes ago, wings707 said:

It is time to stop inviting them to your home.  Be honest with your BF and nephew.  Tell them you will no longer tolerate her demeaning and rude behavior and stick to it.  Your nephew will not like being left out of gatherings  and hopefully talk to her about it.  I am shocked he hasn't already.  He is a guilty as she is.   We teach people how to treat us.  Since you have been tolerant, she thinks is is fine to continue this behavior.  Put a stop to it.  And stop it now.  I am shocked the rest of the family is putting up with this. 

Thank you. I just wrote another big bloated post and the computer ate it. The rest of the family (my bf's family, that is)  is far away, out of the country. So I can see my bf needing to maintain a relationship with his only family member who is here, the nephew. But there's more. I need to retype it dang it.

[topanga]

13 minutes ago, ari333 said:

This woman is 35and I said the exact words. Jr high crap. There is more to this story but I don't want to bore everyone and derail the thread. But I am liking the advice. It makes me feel better. Hugs all. Thank you. I feel better. Still mad, but better...

Derail away. Seriously, this topic should be called Rants & Pet Peeves. It's quite cathartic for the poster. And interesting for the readers. 

[Wings]

2 minutes ago, ari333 said:

Thank you. I just wrote another big bloated post and the computer ate it. The rest of the family (my bf's family, that is)  is far away, out of the country. So I can see my bf needing to maintain a relationship with his only family member who is here, the nephew. But there's more. I need to retype it dang it.

Even better!  Tell your BF to find things to do with his nephew, alone.  Take the high road, don't show anger.  Just softly but firmly say it is a decision that I have made for my own self care.  I will no longer tolerate the disrespect and bigotry.  I am done.   Let your BF and nephew figure out how to handle the situation.  Out of your hands.  

[ari333]

It IS cathartic! I needed some validation . My bf thought I was silly.... until..... she turned on him.

New piece of the puzzle. I have to type it all over again . dang it

[ari333]

I left out a chunk of the next part of the  story and I'll get to it, but one thing that already happened is...... the nephew (per her orders) can only drive up to our house and stand outside and talk to his uncle (my bf) outside  - not come in (and she is not with him bc she is not welcome) . she controls him (which is his issue) . It gets weirder. But thank you for the feedback bc I was starting to think ***I*** was crazy 

[Wings]

2 minutes ago, ari333 said:

It IS cathartic! I needed some validation . My bf thought I was silly.... until..... she turned on him.

New piece of the puzzle. I have to type it all over again . dang it

This woman is toxic.   There is no reason any of you should put up with her.  What better message could she possibly get than being shut out due to her attitude.  It is a situation she created all by herself!

[topanga]

5 minutes ago, ari333 said:

It IS cathartic! I needed some validation . My bf thought I was silly.... until..... she turned on him.

New piece of the puzzle. I have to type it all over again . dang it

When my computer starts acting crazy, I type my post in Word then cut and paste it onto the thread. 

[backformore]

42 minutes ago, topanga said:

agree with you--in general. But it makes my blood boil to have to feed an able-bodied adult who comes to your house for every holiday meal and never brings anything. 

I'm talking about my husband's sister, who is really sweet and kind. She's in her 40s as we are, but she's single, and her son lives in Indianapolis.  She comes over to our house for every holiday meal and party, which is fine. But fucking bring a dish--or at least offer to bring one or ask if we need help in the kitchen. It would be different if this sister thought I loved slaving away in the kitchen all day, but she hears me complain about having to miss a great football play or a funny Superbowl commercial because I was in the kitchen cooking. Or simply complain about being the only one doing the cooking. Yes, my husband does help, but this free-loading sister could help, too. 

I had a different problem one year.  A holiday party, and sister-in-law said she would bring a potato dish that she and her family likes.  Fine - I figured she'd being a casserole dish, and we could heat it up in the microwave.  No.  She arrived as I was putting finishing touches on everything else.  She asked for a cutting board, a vegetable peeler, a pot.  Yep, she brought, into my tiny kitchen,  all the ingredients for her dish, and prepared it in my kitchen!  The rest of the dinner had to wait as she peeled and boiled potatoes for her not-so-special dish. 

I learned my lesson.  If I'm making dinner, and someone wants to bring something, I tell them to bring dessert.  And I usually have a back-up dessert in the freezer, just in case.

[JTMacc99]

2 hours ago, bilgistic said:

I think grocery cupcakes/cake is disgusting--the icing is way too sweet and the neon colors make me suspicious. I go for homemade treats anytime. There's a man at work who makes peanut butter balls and brings them to every potluck we have. People go crazy for them. They really are great.

One of my coworkers broke out a dozen leftover homemade cupcakes for us today. Chocolate cake, peanut butter frosting, chocolate shell over the frosting was the one I got. My dinner tonight just got downgraded to steamed vegetables and a glass of water.  Totally worth it.

Speaking of cupcakes, I made many a cupcake for my children's birthdays at school up until this year.  It was easier to just shell out the $15 to get them from ShopRite, but I always thought it would be nicer to make them. Seemed like my kids would somehow register that the effort was there at some point in their lives. The thing is, as of this year NO HOME PREPARED FOODS OF ANY KIND are allowed in the classrooms for parties. If you want to have a little celebration for your child in the classroom, you fill out a form from the cafeteria and pay them for what it is you want.  Cookie and a drink for everybody was what I selected for my daughter.  I'm not a fan of this, but I guess I understand why it's being done. 

[rcc]

That's what I do too. If they want to bring something I suggest dessert. Anything they want to bring or make. 

[ari333]

oopppps

Edited February 6, 2017 by ari333

[zxy556575]

1 hour ago, topanga said:

But it makes my blood boil to have to feed an able-bodied adult who comes to your house for every holiday meal and never brings anything. 

Ugh, sorry! I am that able-bodied adult.

I go to my sister's house for every holiday. It's usually only the three of us but she's very particular about everything and even wants the dishwasher loaded in a specific way. It's a small 8'x 8' kitchen and I'd be more trouble than help. I'd normally bring wine or something but she always has the stuff she likes on hand. Her husband and I sit around like slugs while she does everything.

33 minutes ago, JTMacc99 said:

The thing is, as of this year NO HOME PREPARED FOODS OF ANY KIND are allowed in the classrooms for parties. If you want to have a little celebration for your child in the classroom, you fill out a form from the cafeteria and pay them for what it is you want.

I am fascinated by the world of young children, mommy blogs, healthy snacks, school rules, and playdates these days. It never ends, does it?

Edited February 6, 2017 by Lord Donia

[zxy556575]

Eh, different peeve so new post.

I was fortunate enough to be able to get Obamacare for 10 months last year until Medicare kicked in. My only projected income was Social Security, which qualified me for about $500 a month worth of subsidies on the Obamacare premium.

Later, I unexpectedly started working part time as a consultant for my old company. I was careful not to exceed the maximum amount of earned income under Social Security and started making quarterly estimated tax payments. Then in August the company was sold which initiated some stock options and a big surprise bonus.

I started my taxes last night and, oh shit. I'm going to have to repay a large portion of my Obamacare subsidy. I just hope there aren't significant penalties as well. I DIDN'T KNOW I'D BE MAKING EXTRA INCOME WHEN I SIGNED UP! It also didn't occur to me to notify the Marketplace folks when that changed.

It's my own fault but makes me sigh to have to turn such a large chunk of my bonus over to any .gov wienies.

Edited February 6, 2017 by Lord Donia

[rcc]

My sister insists on doing everything herself then she complains to her friends and in-laws that she has to do everything for her family. It is just a way to play the martyr. Suffice to say I no longer have anything to do with her because that is one of many things she has said and done.

[topanga]

12 minutes ago, Lord Donia said:

Ugh, sorry! I am that able-bodied adult.

I go to my sister's house for every holiday. It's usually only the three of us but she's very particular about everything and even wants the dishwasher loaded in a specific way. It's a small 8'x 8' kitchen and I'd be more trouble than help. I'd normally bring wine or something but she always has the stuff she likes on hand. Her husband and I sit around like slugs while she does everything.

Oh, no. I don't mean to make you feel bad. It sounds like you and your sister have an agreement. Her kitchen, she cooks. She loads the dishwasher.

And some people like to do everything and love to see their guests kick back and do nothing. I, unfortunately, am not one of those people. So maybe it's my problem???

[zxy556575]

3 hours ago, topanga said:

Oh, no. I don't mean to make you feel bad. It sounds like you and your sister have an agreement. Her kitchen, she cooks. She loads the dishwasher.

Pfft. I was being flippant. It amuses me when people are peeved by something I do. I am usually able to totally justify the bad behavior in my mind!  :)

Edited February 7, 2017 by Lord Donia

[ari333]

Wow do we have the same relatives?  I have one who insists on doing everything bc whatever I do is wrong, (loading the dishes, slicing the tomatoes)  but if I bow out then throws it in my face that I did  nothing. So I offer to host the whole thing at my house. That is met with derision too  I just gave up.

Here's one that still stuns me.

My brother was divorced and admonished by the family THE HORROR. So he tried to make the second marriage work. He wants a Christmas tree but is not particular. His wife wanted a live tree, cut fresh. SO WHAT? My mother threw  shit hissy fit because why? My brother in HIS OWN HOME 5 states away, was allowing a live tree (vs artificial what my mom prefers) He didn't care either way and his wife  preferred a live tree SO WHAT? IT IS THEIR HOME. nd my mother made a HUGE deal out of it. You have to do things the way she does things or else...... and by "else" I mean she refuses to speak to you for days like you're invisible or don't exist. It happened to me plenty of times. My brother is no saint but let him get whatever freakin tree he wants sheesh.  

Edited February 6, 2017 by ari333

[Bastet]

57 minutes ago, Lord Donia said:

even wants the dishwasher loaded in a specific way.

There are people who don't?!  I kid, because I don't have a dishwasher and I don't care how anyone loads their own dishwasher, so I'm not in a position to be bothered by this.  However, when I lived someplace with a dishwasher and someone would help out by loading it, I did spend some time cringing.  I didn't say anything, go back and rearrange it after they left, or anything (unless I needed to in order to get more stuff in), but I admit some people's loading habits puzzled me. 

What does bug me:  I have a friend who I absolutely cannot watch as she loads her dishwasher, because she wastes so much water.  If your dishwasher is relatively modern works properly, you should be scraping rather than rinsing to begin with.  (Yes, this is quite the peeve for me; I'll spare you links on my other peeve about how most people use far too much laundry detergent in their washing machines.)  But if you're going to rinse, good grief, don't be wasteful about it.  Especially here, where we're in a perpetual drought.  She rinses the dishes so thoroughly they're practically washed by the time she loads them, and has the water running the whole time. 

[Moose135]

7 minutes ago, ari333 said:

Wow do we have the same relatives?  I have one who insists on doing everything bc whatever I do is wrong, (loading the dishes, slicing the tomatoes)  but if I bow out then throws it in my face that I did  nothing.

I think I was married to her... ;-)

[ari333]

"You're not going to slice those tomatoes THAT WAY, are you?"

"You're not going to wear THAT are you?"

""If you'd lose some weight those pleats in that skirt would lie flat.....Have a nice time at the party."

"So what if it's your father's birthday. I'd rather have my calories some other way ...not champagne."

(so don't drink it then.Let everyone else have a toast)

I have plenty more, but I'll stop there for now.

[ari333]

8 minutes ago, Moose135 said:

I think I was married to her... ;-)

So you feel me. :-)

[auntlada]

My son's daycare had that food policy for allergy reasons, @JTMacc99. I loved it because then I wasn't the mom who never made anything from scratch. I do like to bake sometimes, but I almost never have enough time, and I am not one of those mothers who make cute things. I just make chocolate things, which my son thinks is plenty good enough.

[Mountainair]

1 hour ago, Lord Donia said:

Ugh, sorry! I am that able-bodied adult.

I go to my sister's house for every holiday. It's usually only the three of us but she's very particular about everything and even wants the dishwasher loaded in a specific way. It's a small 8'x 8' kitchen and I'd be more trouble than help. I'd normally bring wine or something but she always has the stuff she likes on hand. Her husband and I sit around like slugs while she does everything.

I am fascinated by the world of young children, mommy blogs, healthy snacks, school rules, and playdates these days. It never ends, does it?

Not only are we not allowed to bring in homemade snacks for birthdays we can only bring in home made healthy snacks. No cupcakes, cookies, etc. My preschoolers school is nut free so no PB&J for snack time either, though there we can make homemade goodies for birthdays. Another school in our district does not allow plastic baggies for lunch boxes. Everything has to be in reusable containers. Thankfully my two school aged children have birthdays during either summer or fall break so I never bother bringing in anything to the classroom anymore.

[Mountainair]

1 hour ago, Lord Donia said:

Eh, different peeve so new post.

I was fortunate enough to be able to get Obamacare for 10 months last year until Medicare kicked in. My only projected income was Social Security, which qualified me for about $500 a month worth of subsidies on the Obamacare premium.

Later, I unexpectedly started working part time as a consultant for my old company. I was careful not to exceed the maximum amount of earned income under Social Security and started making quarterly estimated tax payments. Then in August the company was sold which initiated some stock options and a big surprise bonus.

I started my taxes last night and, oh shit. I'm going to have to repay a large portion of my Obamacare subsidy. I just hope there aren't significant penalties as well. I DIDN'T KNOW I'D BE MAKING EXTRA INCOME WHEN I SIGNED UP! It also didn't occur to me to notify the Marketplace folks when that changed.

It's my own fault but makes me sigh to have to turn such a large chunk of my bonus over to any .gov wienies.

sorry for the double post. I don't want to get on a health care tirade because I could go on forever. We paid over $20,000 last year in health care premiums. That's not including what I paid out of pocket for the delivery of my youngest child. We know we're on Obama Care part of the year and private pay the other part of the year. It's been my experience in the two years that I've filed taxes while taking advantage of Obama Care that I can generally expect to OWE the government the exact amount of the subsidy I received to pay for affordable health care at the end of the year. 

[ari333]

"It must be nice to roll out of bed and not care how you look."

"You've been so busy no wonder you couldn't get a haircut."

"You need to do neck exercises for those horrible  neck wrinkles." (I was 24)

[DeLurker]

2 hours ago, wings707 said:

Tell your BF to find things to do with his nephew, alone

I like how you think!  Get them two tickets to go to a sporting event or whatever it is that they both enjoy.

@ari333 - I remembered your post when I took my daughter to look at some possible bedroom furniture this afternoon (small room with inconveniently placed door, closet doors and window so trying to find the right furniture that fits and is functional is a task) and the place we went was near a KFC.  Since we all love KFC, there is not one even reasonably close to us and you mentioned them, my dinner choice was made!

[Wings]

1 hour ago, ari333 said:

"You're not going to slice those tomatoes THAT WAY, are you?"

"You're not going to wear THAT are you?"

""If you'd lose some weight those pleats in that skirt would lie flat.....Have a nice time at the party."

"So what if it's your father's birthday. I'd rather have my calories some other way ...not champagne."

(so don't drink it then.Let everyone else have a toast)

I have plenty more, but I'll stop there for now.

Why have you been putting up with this?  You are sounding like an abused wife!  Get her out of your life now.  Right now. 

[ari333]

2 hours ago, rcc said:

My sister insists on doing everything herself then she complains to her friends and in-laws that she has to do everything for her family. It is just a way to play the martyr. Suffice to say I no longer have anything to do with her because that is one of many things she has said and done.

Well, I feel you in every way on this. It makes holidays things that I dread and I finally just said "enough." It feels sad to actually DREAD the holidays and I finally opted out.

[ari333]

11 minutes ago, wings707 said:

Why have you been putting up with this?  You are sounding like an abused wife!  Get her out of your life now.  Right now. 

So those comments ARE abusive. That was my take on it. EXACTLY  Ive been told that I'm "too sensitive. "

[bilgistic]

4 minutes ago, ari333 said:

So those comments ARE abusive. That was my take on it. EXACTLY  Ive been told that I'm "too sensitive. "

"Too sensitive" is verbal abuse. I hear it a lot at work. You aren't too sensitive; the person saying that is an inconsiderate asshole.

[ari333]

9 minutes ago, bilgistic said:

"Too sensitive" is verbal abuse. I hear it a lot at work. You aren't too sensitive; the person saying that is an inconsiderate asshole.

Thank you for that. I needed to read that . It *IS* verbal abuse imo too and I'm glad that someone else put a label on  it for me.

Edited February 7, 2017 by ari333

[DeLurker]

1 hour ago, auntlada said:

My son's daycare had that food policy for allergy reasons, @JTMacc99. I loved it because then I wasn't the mom who never made anything from scratch. I do like to bake sometimes, but I almost never have enough time, and I am not one of those mothers who make cute things. I just make chocolate things, which my son thinks is plenty good enough.

And the other kids are perfectly happy with that too - it is some form of demented Mom competition that makes everything over the top.

1 hour ago, Mountainair said:

Not only are we not allowed to bring in homemade snacks for birthdays we can only bring in home made healthy snacks. No cupcakes, cookies, etc. My preschoolers school is nut free so no PB&J for snack time either, though there we can make homemade goodies for birthdays. Another school in our district does not allow plastic baggies for lunch boxes. Everything has to be in reusable containers. Thankfully my two school aged children have birthdays during either summer or fall break so I never bother bringing in anything to the classroom anymore.

My daughter has been taking reusable containers in her lunch since she started 1st grade (she's in 10th now).  But that was a personal choice that I was making and it works out well for her (check out the Systema storage containers - they are the best).  Where are you that restricts plastic baggies?