Pet Peeves: Aka Things That Make You Go "Gah!"

[MargeGunderson]

4 minutes ago, TattleTeeny said:

OK, and let's say that god was indeed punishing a group of people (for my hypothetical purposes, I'll go with animal abusers. Or Jewel)--what kind of crazed deity would punish everyone else with a flood? 

The God of the Old Testament.

[TattleTeeny]

Oh, I wouldn't know--I'm a heathen (and probably also kind of a hippie).

[bilgistic]

The jackass that sits in the cubicle next to mine says accusingly to me this week, "I thought you were...what are they called?" I replied, "Atheist," because I knew the direction he was heading.

1) How is my religion or lack thereof any of your business?

2) How is that in any way an appropriate work topic of conversation, particularly with someone not on my team, but next to whom I'm saddled with sitting?

[Moose135]

No, that certainly isn't an appropriate topic of conversation at work, especially if he just randomly asked that, and it wasn't part of a larger conversation you were having.  But I've noticed things are different down South.  After I moved down to the Charlotte office and was introduced around, several people innocently asked "What church do you belong to?"  While I still consider myself a Catholic, I haven't been to church in years, so I just sort of danced around that one.

[TattleTeeny]

Honestly, I myself personally would not care if someone asked that (depending, of course, on who and in what context). Still, though, I am surprised by people who find it appropriate to do the asking. I don't even know if that makes sense considering I just said I wouldn't care. But then, I would be on the receiving end and probably almost never the asker (unless I knew the person well enough to do so, I guess).

[bilgistic]

I believe in boundaries at work. We aren't friends; we work near each other. Rarely do I make what I consider to be an actual friend at work. What I do when I'm not at work is no one's business, and for this man, nothing I do ever is any of his business because he's not on my work team. It probably goes without saying that his politics are the polar opposite of mine. Another gem he let loose with today was, "It's clear you don't read the news." I told him "Fox News" isn't news.

Furthermore, as a support staff member (non-broker), I am subjected to countless meetings and training sessions(!) of how we are to conduct ourselves in the workplace. We aren't to discuss religion or politics--we had a whole training session on this, I kid you not. Who do you think breaks these common-sense rules? The brokers. *I* have to tell them how we are supposed to conduct ourselves, as if they 1) care and 2) are going to change their behavior.

[AgentRXS]

I think questions like that should be posed carefully. I've had co-workers ask me but always under the context of "Would you get offended if I asked what religion you were/are you religious?" And I have no problem answering. I just think its a pointless question---religion doesn't dictate what kind of person you are.  I've met assholes and scumbags  as well as kind and wonderful  from every religion or non-religion. No one should be accusatory towards anyone's beliefs or lack thereof.

[TattleTeeny]

I agree with all of what you guys are saying; I just meant that, personally, I don't mind (even if I recognize that it's odd)--not that nobody should mind. I fully realize that my not minding is just my thing, not everyone's, and that it's perfectly valid to find this stuff inappropriate.

 

[Bastet]

Not remotely appropriate in a workplace, and something to follow up with if you choose.

The comment on things being different down south reminded me of when my best friend relocated to Florida (Orlando area) for a few years.  She's an HR director, and upon arriving at the FL company discovered an employee was signing off her office voice mail and e-mail with "have a blessed day."  My friend told her that wasn't an appropriate sentiment to include in professional correspondence, and the employee was utterly confused, stating that everyone said that. 

[AgentRXS]

Today my biggest pet peeve is my hair. I am so over it. I have thin, fine, horribly frizzy hair. I live in Ft. Lauderdale, FL and its constantly humid year round which doesn't help. I am so tired of it. My hair is so annoying that hairdressers always complain about it.  No anti-frizz serums work; they just make my hair look greasy. Tried volumizers and they don't work either. Just putting it in a decent ponytail takes 10-15 minutes.  Ugh. If it weren't so hot down here, I would just put a wig on and call it a day.  Trying to put it in a bun as I'm getting ready for bed and it doesn't want to cooperate w/that either---I wish I had one of those faces that could pull off short or even bald hair---no such luck.

[backformore]

@AgentRXS  I understand.  We've vacationed in Florida a few times, and I get what I call "Florida Hair".   My hair is long, and kind of straight, with a little wave.  But not in Florida - in Florida my hair is bigger, wilder, frizzier.  I have to remember to bring headbands and barrettes to keep it in line. 

THough I have recently been trying the "no-shampoo" thing.  A cleansing conditioner, which cleans and conditions, without the chemicals that strip your hair.   I recommend it, it's supposed to be especially good for curly hair.  If you use it for a few weeks, your hair feels heavier.  It certainly works on the frizziness.

[Bastet]

As someone with curly hair, I consider shampoo the devil.  I rinse and condition every time I hit the shower, but shampoo is something to be used sparingly and only with a gentle formula.  

My peeve?  The many years I did not realize this.  I get my thick, curly hair from my dad, and he just kept his hair cut very short and never thought about it.  My mom, whose hair is straight and fine and leans towards oily, shampooed my hair daily because that's what was normal to her.  So when left to my own devices, I continued this practice.  Bless the girls who grow up in an era where the whole "low-poo/no-poo" routine is discussed.   

[bilgistic]

40 minutes ago, Bastet said:

Not remotely appropriate in a workplace, and something to follow up with if you choose.

The comment on things being different down south reminded me of when my best friend relocated to Florida (Orlando area) for a few years.  She's an HR director, and upon arriving at the FL company discovered an employee was signing off her office voice mail and e-mail with "have a blessed day."  My friend told her that wasn't an appropriate sentiment to include in professional correspondence, and the employee was utterly confused, stating that everyone said that. 

One of the folks in accounting has "Have a blessed day, Jeff" in his email signature block (I know, because it's the same format every time I get an email from him).  We have a corporate-dictated signature block and no one is supposed to be allowed to put politically or religiously charged statements. I so want to reply to him with:

"Go to hell,

bilgistic"

Edited August 19, 2016 by bilgistic

[TattleTeeny]

8 hours ago, AgentRXS said:

Today my biggest pet peeve is my hair. I am so over it. I have thin, fine, horribly frizzy hair. I live in Ft. Lauderdale, FL and its constantly humid year round which doesn't help. I am so tired of it. My hair is so annoying that hairdressers always complain about it.  No anti-frizz serums work; they just make my hair look greasy. Tried volumizers and they don't work either. Just putting it in a decent ponytail takes 10-15 minutes.  Ugh. If it weren't so hot down here, I would just put a wig on and call it a day.  Trying to put it in a bun as I'm getting ready for bed and it doesn't want to cooperate w/that either---I wish I had one of those faces that could pull off short or even bald hair---no such luck.

I hear you. I am the only one in my family who doesn't have blissfully pin-straight hair. It's not curly so much as bent. I get a halo of "cappuccino foam" fuzz at the slightest humidity, and it becomes wider than my shoulders. A ponytail with my natural hair is two loops of the elastic, while my straightened hair takes three (and I can barely get the elastic out when it's in its natural state). I tried super-short cropped hair once and it looked awesome...for two weeks; after that it was poofy and crazy. Once, my hair guy stopped drying my hair for 30 seconds when he took a phone call; he came back and cursed out my vicious cowlicks!

Edited August 19, 2016 by TattleTeeny

[Quof]

Quote

OK, and let's say that god was indeed punishing a group of people (for my hypothetical purposes, I'll go with animal abusers. Or Jewel)--what kind of crazed deity would punish everyone else with a flood? 

A friend teaches junior high.   Not long ago (seriously, decades past the 1980s when many people still believed this), a student said "my father says AIDS is God's punishment for gay people."  Except she might have used a more offensive term than "gay people." 

My friend lost it.  She said "Your father thinks, of all the groups in the world - murderers, rapists, child molesters - gay people are the ones who piss God off the most, so he came up with a disease just for them?"  

That resulted in an interesting meeting with the parents in the principal's office.

[Demented Daisy]

New peeve -- shipping.  I'd say that 99% of the time, the stuff I order online arrives on time, in good shape, blah blah blah.  But recently....

On July 20, I ordered a sticker from a seller on that big online retailer's website.  You know the one.  ;-)  Anyway, I was charged for the item, but it never shipped.  When I finally e-mailed the seller (5 days after it was supposed to arrive, which was already 2 weeks after I ordered it), they said that my item had been lost (!) by the USPS, but they would put another in the mail.  So I waited, foolishly, for 5 more days.  Nothing.  I e-mailed them again, asking if my item had been shipped.  A week later, no response from them.  I just finished filing a claim with the big online retailer.  Ridiculous.

Meanwhile, I have a monthly subscription with an online beauty retailer.  My monthly box was supposed to arrive today, which it didn't, so I pulled up the tracking info to see where it was.  It left the warehouse in Maryland on August 12.  For some ludicrous reason, it was shipped to New Jersey, where it sat for 4 days.  Then it was shipped down to North Carolina.  It finally arrived in Virginia (where I live) today.  Insane.  I probably won't get it until Monday, at the earliest.

My daughter moves back into her dorm Sunday, so we sent her a package today.  I'll be curious to see how long it takes her to get it.

[DeLurker]

11 hours ago, AgentRXS said:

Today my biggest pet peeve is my hair. I am so over it. I have thin, fine, horribly frizzy hair. I live in Ft. Lauderdale, FL and its constantly humid year round which doesn't help. I am so tired of it. My hair is so annoying that hairdressers always complain about it.  No anti-frizz serums work; they just make my hair look greasy. Tried volumizers and they don't work either. Just putting it in a decent ponytail takes 10-15 minutes.  Ugh. If it weren't so hot down here, I would just put a wig on and call it a day.  Trying to put it in a bun as I'm getting ready for bed and it doesn't want to cooperate w/that either---I wish I had one of those faces that could pull off short or even bald hair---no such luck.

Grew up in South Florida and had many friends with similar hair problems.  A lot of them found a french braid is the best solution as their hair literally grew throughout the day from the humidity.  Is it any better after you go to the beach?  If so, maybe one of the texturizing sea salt sprays may help.

RE: Religion - when I first moved to Texas (just north of Houston), I was floored by how many people start a conversation with "Hi, what church do you go to?".  Considering I was raised Catholic, my ex took the kids to an Episcopalian church, my daughter went to a Presbyterian preschool and a Buddhist kindergarten (the best school ever),...I wasn't sure how to answer that.  As an adult, I tended to randomly go to services at wherever I felt like.  Also, in the Kroger (until it was remodeled about 5 years ago), the aisle sign read "Magazines, Office Supplies, Christian Cards".  I resisted the urge to ask where the Heathen Cards were kept. 

[zxy556575]

I got the questions about which church I attended when I first moved to the upper Midwest. I mean, people just wanted to know if we had a connection and perhaps would meet on Sundays, but I felt like if I said "none," they'd start proselytizing. I settled on, "I'm a Universalist," because there weren't any UU churches in town and it forestalled any further conversation. I have gone to UU services in the past so didn't feel totally shady.

One of my favorite leisure activities is tracking packages online! I'm no logistics/supply chain expert, but Amazon has a warehouse about 90 minutes from me and I always wonder why they insist on sending things from a couple thousand miles away. The only time they ship from next door is when I request overnight, and then the package is put on a truck but still goes to one intermediate station in the wrong direction first.

[bilgistic]

1 hour ago, DeLurker said:

Also, in the Kroger (until it was remodeled about 5 years ago), the aisle sign read "Magazines, Office Supplies, Christian Cards".  I resisted the urge to ask where the Heathen Cards were kept. 

You are a better person than I am.

[GHScorpiosRule]

I suppose this should go in chit-chat? But since the discussion is about hair, I just wanted to share: 

So for the past year, my hair started growing back, but I didn't really notice the growth (after chemo ended) and the kindest thing I could say about it during the period between last December to this past April, was that it couldn't make up its mind whether to look like Maude or Billy Idol's spiked do. So I continued wearing my wig--which, since I now had hair, despite whatever form it was in, itched like the very Devil. Pre-cancer/chemo, I had thick, curly, wavy hair that frizzed whenever it sprinkled or there was humidity. I had relaxed it numerous times to help with blow drying it straight. Now? It's grown back wavy and soft; but other times, felt like a brillo pad on top. But sometime between May and July, there seemed to be a growth spurt! It's not as thick as it used to be, or maybe it is, but since it's been over two years since I "had" my hair, I've forgotten. It's now down to my shoulders, and if I don't blow dry it, does the That Girl flip in the back and sides.

I'm going to have to go and get it trimmed. Like when I get a job.

I guess this is my long, convoluted way of saying, that for the first time in years, I'm happy with the texture of my hair and it's so easy to style.  It tends to get wavy/curly if I let it air dry, but it's healthy and I don't see or feel the need to chemically straighten it, since I can do that easily with 10 minutes of the blow dryer.

I take whatever physical aspects that make me look and feel like a woman again I can, since for the longest time, I felt UGLY and stripped of feeling like a woman. Just need to have the final reconstruction early next year, and that will be it with having to suffer the Pancake Press.

Edited August 19, 2016 by GHScorpiosRule

[janestclair]

Don't get me started on hair. My hair has been thinning for the past 10 years. Female hair loss runs in my family, although both my mom and my grandma started losing hair much later in life than I did. Lucky me.  I used to have super thick hair you could barely get a brush through.  When it started falling out, the only way I could wear it was up in bun if I didn't want to be covered in my own hair by the end of the day. Now, it's thinned enough that the only way I can wear it is in a bun.  But oh, the gray ones? Those never fall out. They just stick straight up in the air, mocking me.  The texture of my hair changed too. I hate it. I almost wish it would just all fall out so I can buy a wig and be done with it.  But on the other hand I can't even stand wearing hats. They make my head feel claustrophobic. Yes, I am weird. So a wig would probably not work out.

Thank god I live in the northeast. People don't ask about what your religion is. I was was raised Catholic but haven't stepped foot in a church in over 10 years, and I'm pretty sure that was a funeral mass. I think my parents knew I wasn't going to be into religion when I asked at 5 years old, 'If God is everywhere, why do I need to go to church to pray?"  We also get all sorts of religious holidays off school, so that's nice - Christian, Jewish, and (for the first time this year) Muslim.   If any of my coworkers (or anyone really) asked me what my religion was I'd probably tell them to stuff it. 

[backformore]

Religion-  I was raised Catholic.  Like, catholic schools, mass before school every day (making it 6 times a week!) taught by nuns, confession, sacraments, everything.  We lived a block from the church/school/convent/rectory, as a kid, everyone I knew was catholic.  We were taught that catholics were better than other people, that only catholics can go to heaven,  and of course, Jews were evil because they killed Jesus.  Oh yeah, and women needed to stay home and take care of kids, working women were neglecting their responsibilities.  There's no such thing as evolution, eating meat on Friday will send you to hell, etc, etc.   So many RULES! 

I remember one day in religion class, I must have been 11 or 12, and the lesson was that during the mass,  the wine and bread (host, wafer, whatever you call it)  turn into the blood and body of Jesus.   Not REPRESENTS, not a symbol,  but turns into the actual body and blood, when the priest says the blessing.   And when the priest offers you the host, and says 'the body of Christ"  and you reply "Amen"  you are saying that you BELIEVE that this is the actual body (piece of a body?)  of Jesus.   Look it up if you don't believe me. 

And I sat there listening, thinking "these people are nuts!"  Then I started questioning every single thing they said.  Virgin birth? purgatory?  Black marks on my soul  if I tell a lie?  we will all rise from the dead at some point?  WHAT?

And then the catholic priest scandals - sexual abuse of kids, by priests, who were then just transferred to another church, where they did it again, and were transferred again.  The same church that was all about teaching kids to not sin, covered up and failed to report terrible sins against children.  

As an adult, I will go to church if there is a funeral or wedding at a church, out of respect for family.  But I don't go any other time.

If you ask me my religion -  I am a secular humanist.  it's the belief that morality and goodness can exist separate from a belief in a god.  Basically, you should be good, not because god is watching, or because you don't want to go to hell, but just because this is what we're supposed to do.  Don't lie, steal, hurt others, etc - but not because it's a commandment - just because it's right. 

Edited August 20, 2016 by backformore

[bilgistic]

Amen!

[zxy556575]

54 minutes ago, backformore said:

And I sat there listening, thinking "these people are nuts!" 

Ha! My Catholic school come-not-to-Jesus moment was when I had my first boyfriend in 8th grade. I was in confession and one of my sins was that I had kissed a boy X times (remember to specify the exact number of transgressions!). The priest asked if it was a brotherly kiss (ew, no!) or if I had lust in my heart, which he said was a MORTAL sin. The problem was that I had to go in peace and promise to try to "sin no more." I knew I wasn't going to stop kissing him so the whole thing was a farce.

Luckily my mother couldn't afford parochial tuition after elementary school and, once released to public education, I didn't have to pretend to be Catholic any more.

Edited August 20, 2016 by lordonia

[3pwood]

Years ago, an acquaintance who'd recently moved to a southern state (don't remember which one) told us that a common greeting among strangers chatting in line at a grocery store or the like was "Where do you worship?".   He said they weren't prying into his religious beliefs, it just seemed to be casual small talk, such as northerners asking "Which neighborhood do you live in?"  He always replied that he'd just arrived & everyone within earshot would then recommend a church for him to attend (all Protestant, the place had no Catholic churches or synagogues or mosques, etc), depending on which part of town would be convenient to his home.   Different cultures, different ways.... 

[backformore]

Yeah, I've had some friends and acquaintances from the south (not to offend anyone here, I'm not stereotyping)  who didn't understand why schools up north (Illinois)  didn't have religious things in public schools - like nativity plays, religious carols at Christmas.  When I tried to explain it, they said that not believing in Jesus is "un-American" and if people weren't Christian they should "go back where they came from."

This was a while ago, but from what I see on TV, there are plenty of people who still think this way.

Part of the reason I embrace secular humanism is that so many people believe that to be atheist means to have no morals.  Secular humanism recognizes that religious beliefs and moral actions have little to do with each other.   

My kids were  raised without a religion or a belief in God, but with strong moral values.  I didn't talk about that with other people, because everyone in my family  told me that my kids would turn out horrible if they didn't have a belief in god to guide them.  They actually turned out quite well, and have better morals and behavior than their "Christian"  cousins.

[TattleTeeny]

Quote

One of my favorite leisure activities is tracking packages online!

Ahahahhaaaaaaa, I do this too! What is my problem? Once, I "watched" a vintage '70s disco maxi dress (oh my god, this thing is awesome, but tough to find an event to wear it to: halter-style top but in a heavy, questionable '70s fabric--for what temperature was this made?!) set out from Texas and proceed to head west and take a cross-country drive before finally arriving to me in NJ! I have no idea what the hell happened there, but I contacted the Etsy seller (just as an FYI, not as a complaint--wasn't her fault), who became as obsessed as I was about where "our" dress would visit next. That thing is better traveled than I am.

Yesterday, I realized that I can waste a whole lot of time screwing around on Google Maps' satellite street view! Seriously, I was like a kid with a new PlayStation game, "visiting" my old apartments and "driving" down the streets with the cursor. Ironically, I am also the person who has never once ever explored the games in my phone because I find them boring.
 

Quote

Yeah, I've had some friends and acquaintances from the south (not to offend anyone here, I'm not stereotyping)  who didn't understand why schools up north (Illinois)  didn't have religious things in public schools - like nativity plays, religious carols at Christmas.  When I tried to explain it, they said that not believing in Jesus is "un-American" and if people weren't Christian they should "go back where they came from."

Ugh, this reminds me of a huge peeve of mine that rears its ugly head every November: Facebook posts of the "It's not Happy Holidays, it's Merry Christmas!" kind. Oh my god, the rage I feel at the (deliberate?) obtuseness of this attitude! Just take the fucking well-wishing sentiment for what it is, people, and return it and/or say thank you, and go about your damn day. No one is hurting you by saying "happy holidays," which, for the record, does not equal "fuck Christmas" and is not some liberal agenda. And not that this is important, but I'm not even an atheist; I'd categorize myself as agnostic, so my ire doesn't not even stem from "bible thumping"--it's more at the narrow-mindedness and people's refusal to understand the simple semantics of "happy holidays"...which is not only a way to avoid saying the "wrong" thing but also covers from Thanksgiving right through the New Year, no matter what you celebrate! Efficient, and even more generous with the well-wishes!

Edited August 20, 2016 by TattleTeeny

[auntlada]

55 minutes ago, TattleTeeny said:

Yesterday, I realized that I can waste a whole lot of time screwing around on Google Maps' satellite street view! Seriously, I was like a kid with a new PlayStation game, "visiting" my old apartments and "driving" down the streets with the cursor. Ironically, I am also the person who has never once ever explored the games in my phone because I find them boring.

Have you ever played GeoGuessr? It's based on Google street view. You have to figure out where stuff is.

[TattleTeeny]

I bet I'd suck at it, auntlada. Last night, driving home, I encountered a police roadblock and was forced to reroute. I got all turned around in my own neighborhood of four years. Also, mall bathrooms: damn if I know what direction I came from when I went in. Maybe the game would help me?

[auntlada]

I find it's mostly a case of recognizing styles of road signs and striping and thinking, "This looks like (some country/area," and then looking for road signs that you can google. It has city maps too so you can play in New York City or London. You can also do famous places, which can be easier because you might recognize Notre Dame.

[bilgistic]

I can't find my car in the deck I park in daily for the job I've held for nearly 2.5 years. I usually park on level six, as it has the walkway to the building. Sometimes it's full, though, so I have to go down or up a level. There have been MANY days in which I've walked throughout the deck, searching for my car. My excuse is that my brain is so tired from work that the minor fact of where I parked nine or ten hours earlier just fell out of my ears.

It's embarrassing, though, when a coworker says to me the next day, "Did I see you walking around in the parking deck last evening??"

[TattleTeeny]

Yep, that's me in a parking lot. I now always park in an end space--I don't even care how far away it is--so that I at least have that small bit of info. 

Oh, and the worst thing? Because my BF is a musician, I'm in bars fairly often and not always ones I've been to before. I hate finding the bathroom for the first time because I will inevitably come out and walk the wrong way and, like, all the way around the room before realizing I didn't need to. It makes me self-conscious in a crowd even though who the hell in the place is keeping track of what I'm doing?

Edited August 20, 2016 by TattleTeeny

[bilgistic]

When I can't find my car, I immediately panic and assume it's been stolen. There's a hot market for 12-year-old Civics.

[backformore]

Quote

Yesterday, I realized that I can waste a whole lot of time screwing around on Google Maps' satellite street view! Seriously, I was like a kid with a new PlayStation game, "visiting" my old apartments and "driving" down the streets with the cursor. Ironically, I am also the person who has never once ever explored the games in my phone because I find them boring.

 I LOVE this!   Google maps is the best!  Even looking at my own house, I crack up that Google maps hasn't been updated in a while -  by the fact that our old minivan is on the driveway, and the tree in the yard is still alive.  I love looking at old apartment buildings I used to live in, and the shops and restaurants I used to go to.

[backformore]

Quote

I can't find my car in the deck I park in daily for the job I've held for nearly 2.5 years. I usually park on level six, as it has the walkway to the building. Sometimes it's full, though, so I have to go down or up a level. There have been MANY days in which I've walked throughout the deck, searching for my car. My excuse is that my brain is so tired from work that the minor fact of where I parked nine or ten hours earlier just fell out of my ears.

When I park at the mall, I always park in the same section, usually under the sign with the lot location, so I don't have to remember where my car is - it's always A-4.    If I go to a different mall,  I get turned around not knowing which way to exit to get on the right street.  I have certain tricks -  like I make sure I'm parked with my car facing the direction I need to go in to get home.   I also have been known, before I exit my car, to send myself a text with my parking location.   Then , when I enter the mall, I make a mental note of the exact location of the door I'm entering, so I know I will exit the same door to find my car.   I used to have one of those Mickey Mouse antennae toppers on my car, primarily to help me find my car in a parking lot. It helped a lot, but then my kids became teenagers and they kept taking Mickey off the car when they were driving it.

[TattleTeeny]

Haha, I got myself lost and frustrated in Target yesterday because I was thinking of the layout of an entirely different Target.

[StatisticalOutlier]

19 hours ago, lordonia said:

Ha! My Catholic school come-not-to-Jesus moment was when I had my first boyfriend in 8th grade. I was in confession and one of my sins was that I had kissed a boy X times (remember to specify the exact number of transgressions!).

I was in Catholic school through the 3rd grade, and the family quit going to church not long after that.  So I had to have been pretty young when I came up with my confession strategy.  As best I can tell, I wasn't fond of the personal fault-finding involved in itemizing my sins for the previous week, so I would make up an entire list of sins out of thin air, and then add one lie to the list to account for the list itself.

[TattleTeeny]

3 hours ago, bilgistic said:

When I can't find my car, I immediately panic and assume it's been stolen. There's a hot market for 12-year-old Civics.

You know, you might not be too far off there. Not too long ago, I believe Civics and Acura Integras were pretty high on the stolen list, probably by young Fast & Furious type guys, haha! I think they're easily modified and are known for being well made. Until a year ago, I had a 2000 Integra (the cutest!) and more than once, guys would ask me if I'd consider selling for parts. It was weird--I mean, no! That's what I drive to go to work and do regular-people things!

[backformore]

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I was in Catholic school through the 3rd grade, and the family quit going to church not long after that.  So I had to have been pretty young when I came up with my confession strategy.  As best I can tell, I wasn't fond of the personal fault-finding involved in itemizing my sins for the previous week, so I would make up an entire list of sins out of thin air, and then add one lie to the list to account for the list itself.

I like that!   Maybe it's because there were so many kids lining up to confess, the priests where I went didn't take a lot of time with each, but I still remember "bless me father for I have sinned my last confession was one month ago. I lied 3 times, I disobeyed my parents twice. "   Sometimes I'd switch the numbers around, but to be honest, I had no friggin clue what I did or how many times - just  knew I sometimes lied, and I was never good at following orders.  So I made it up.    I remember something  about "heavenly father I am heartfully sorry for having offended thee"  Whatever.  Little kids aren't SINNERS, they're imperfect  little kids.  we had to start confessing our evil transgressions at age 7!  It's ridiculous that at age 7 you're supposed to count up all your mistakes and confess them.  

[bilgistic]

Children are sinners, and they will burn in hell for eternity if they don't accept Jesus as their personal Lord and savior! Hearing that three times a week (not counting camp, vacation bible school and Sunday school) is terrifying for a young child growing up in a Southern Baptist family.

I had nightmares about the sermons.

[zxy556575]

10 hours ago, backformore said:

It's ridiculous that at age 7 you're supposed to count up all your mistakes and confess them. 

But every parent can testify that 7 is the age of reason!

Edited August 21, 2016 by lordonia

[Demented Daisy]

12 hours ago, TattleTeeny said:

Haha, I got myself lost and frustrated in Target yesterday because I was thinking of the layout of an entirely different Target.

About a week ago, I went to a Sephora inside a JCPenney's -- but from the opposite side.  For about 2 minutes, I was sure that they had changed the layout of the store.  Then my brain flipped and everything was back to normal.

[Petunia13]

Isn't the point of confession honesty and reflection? And isn't it supposed to be really bad to lie in a church? 

[TattleTeeny]

It's only "really bad" depending on your belief system or devoutness, I'm guessing. I personally don't follow a religion so lying in a church of whatever denomination is no worse than telling a lie at home, work, store, or restaurant, and I'm not violating a promise or code of any kind.

[Petunia13]

Well then what is the point of going if you are going to deliberately flout the beliefs or do the exact opposite to be cute? Not only is is a not cool thing to do as a human being, the person is wasting time and ten % ?

Edited August 21, 2016 by Petunia13

[StatisticalOutlier]

1 hour ago, Petunia13 said:

Well then what is the point of going if you are going to deliberately flout the beliefs or do the exact opposite to be cute? Not only is is a not cool thing to do as a human being, the person is wasting time and ten % ?

I don't know about the others, but I wasn't being cute--I was working a system I was forced to participate in.  As an adult, I bristle at the thought of someone making me count up bad things I did (according to their standard) and reporting them to a random man in a box, and I obviously wouldn't do it.  But back when I didn't have a choice?  I actually think it was kind of cool that I was an early adopter of civil disobedience.

What is not a cool thing to do as a human being is molesting children, transferring priests around to put even more children in harm's way, letting known molesters go unpunished while supporting them for the remainder of their lives, not to mention moving money around to avoid civil judgments by those brave enough to try to fight you.  All of which I am helping to pay for by virtue of the church's tax exempt status. 

I'll be more than happy to present my case against theirs at the pearly gates.

[Blergh]

Ages ago, I gave someone a ride home from work who asked me all kinds of questions about my car radio but I just shrugged them off and said it came with the older model car. Long-short is that this person got rides from a lot of fellow employees- and not only gave them 3rd degrees re their car radios but every person who bragged about said radios wound up having theirs stolen even when they parked nowhere near our workplace. Can we file this pet peeve under snoopy coworkers or radio thieves?

[Petunia13]

Ita sad your parents forced you to do that and you felt you couldn't talk to them about your beliefs or feelings. I guess I was lucky to be raised pagan. I think little child I was pretty earnest and sensitive -had my parents forced me to do dogmatic rituals or ceremonies that I considered stupid,  I still would have wondered or feared about the possibility of them being authentic or felt some paranoia at blasphemy. I think of it as like a person not believing in Judaism still probably won't eat a BLT in a synogogue or a girl raised Pentecostal twerking in hotpants on a pulpit. 

[backformore]

Quote

Isn't the point of confession honesty and reflection? And isn't it supposed to be really bad to lie in a church? 

I can only speak for myself here.  With catholic parents, catholic school, nuns as teachers,  I followed the rules and kept my opinions to myself.  It was ingrained in me very early that questioning meant "not having faith". As a child, I didn't know anyone who didn't have the same beliefs, questioning the beliefs was not allowed.    If all the adults in your world tell you the same thing, you fall in line with your BEHAVIOR even if not with your THOUGHTS.  Honesty and reflection did not play a part, neither  did critical thinking - standing in line, being quiet, doing what you were told were the real values.   As I had said, I spent an hour every day before school, in church, repeating words because I was taught that I had to in order to get to heaven.  I had weird ways of passing the time.  For example, I would stare at the priest, not moving my gaze at all, then look away and see the reversed light/dark after image.  I also developed the ability to make up stories in my head, and imagine myself being somewhere else, while reciting prayers aloud.  But as along as I went through the motions of genuflect, stand, kneel, recite prayers, etc, I was being a "good catholic girl."  I went through the motions because there was no other choice.  The people in power told me I had to things a certain way, so I did.   I don't even think I was aware that I was "lying"  when I confessed sins.  I HAD to confess, I sure couldn't recall everything I did, so  said some words.  and then the priest would give me a "penance"  of saying more meaningless words.   If I said the prayers, the sins were "erased"  and I got a clean slate until next time. 

I don't want to step on anyone else's beliefs, but for me, religion was a kind of "magical thinking"  thing that I believed until I didn't.   It's like a little kid seeing a magic trick, and believing in "magic", then seeing the slight of hand behind one trick, and as a result doubting everything else the magician does.  Or seeing your dad put a present under the tree, and realize there is no santa, then start questioning a lot of other things adults tell you. 

I stopped attending church services as a teenager, causing my parents much grief, and I'm sure they prayed for my redemption.  Sometimes, I went to church because they threatened to ground me if I didn't. 

As @StatisticalOutlier says, the catholic church had a stranglehold on catholics.  That's why so many kids were able to be traumatized with physical and sexual abuse by the people who were in power.  Having a priest pay special attention to you was like being chosen by GOD for a special mission - even if that special mission was sex with a priest.  Kids didn't talk about it, because there wasn't anyone to talk TO.  Everyone believed that priests represented god - how do you accuse GOD of doing something wrong?

A priest at the church I grew up in was one of the worst abusers.  I looked up the documents that the church was forced to make public, a couple of years ago.  It is horrifying that he had already committed crimes in two other churches, before being transferred to our church (and put in charge of teaching altar boys to assist in serving mass)    And then, when he was found to be abusing kids AGAIN, was promoted to assistant pastor at yet another church.   And it was all kept hush-hush. 

[BookWoman56]

I consider myself very lucky, in a weird way, to have been exposed to some extreme religious viewpoints when very young. I grew up in a Southern Baptist household and yes, was forced to attend church during childhood. I cannot remember a single good thing that came of it, other than some arts and crafts during the summers. My mother's family were Pentecostal, and very fundamentalist even for Pentecostals. So I grew up with some of my aunts telling me that my mother was going to hell because she had cut her hair and wore makeup. Seriously. That kind of reasoning did not make sense to me, and my skepticism on that issue eventually increased to being skeptical about any kind of religion or deity, and ultimately resulted in me realizing that I am an atheist and happy to be one. The only time I go to a church or any religious service is for the occasional funeral service (which is rare at this point because it seems as if almost everyone has theirs done at the funeral home) or wedding.

I don't care what other people believe as long as they don't try to inflict their views on me. One of the few times in my life I have been seriously angry was several years ago when my daughter, who was around 13 or 14 at the time, was invited to a birthday party and then uninvited because the mother found out my daughter is both bisexual and an atheist, and then re-invited only to have the mother spend most of the party trying to convince my daughter she was damned for her sexual orientation and needed to convert to Christianity asap. I kept my temper, but flatly informed the mother that I did not think it polite to try and convert her daughter to atheism and so refrained from doing so, and I would appreciate it if she did not try to convert my daughter to being religious. Of course, her response was that being polite had nothing to do with it; it was her "duty" to make my daughter see the error of her ways, and I was a bad parent for not having forced Christianity or some other religion on her. Fuck that nonsense.