Meet the Parents: Gil and Kelly Jo Bates

[Meow Mix]

I thought Kelly's dress, hair and makeup looked great.  I'm glad someone finally convinced her that all those ruffles she loved to wear were doing her no favors.  she definitely looks better in something fitted.  I also give her a pass on the shoes because at this point in my life, heels are out.  I don't need to be in pain just to measure up to someone else's standards.  I would have stuck with a neutral color myself because matching colors is dicey, but I definitely would have worn shoes I could stand around all day in.

[Notabug]

12 minutes ago, Meow Mix said:

I thought Kelly's dress, hair and makeup looked great.  I'm glad someone finally convinced her that all those ruffles she loved to wear were doing her no favors.  she definitely looks better in something fitted.  I also give her a pass on the shoes because at this point in my life, heels are out.  I don't need to be in pain just to measure up to someone else's standards.  I would have stuck with a neutral color myself because matching colors is dicey, but I definitely would have worn shoes I could stand around all day in.

I, too, don't do heels; but there are a lot of far nicer choices out there than the flats Kelly was wearing, especially since she said she bought them specifically for that outfit.  A pair of metallic ballet flats would've looked much nicer and been a good addition to her closet, too.  A lot of manufacturers of comfort shoes like Easy Spirit, Clarks, Naturalizer, and Dansko have dressier sandals and flats available.

Edited October 22, 2023 by Notabug

[AstridM]

8 hours ago, BitterApple said:

Josie orders them wholesale and then resells them under the Effortless Beauty label. 

Cheap Chinese wholesale lol

[GeeGolly]

[Absolom]

I have those in black for all occasion dressy wear.  They go anywhere that I'm likely to need something not an athletic shoe.  

I wonder if Kelly is even aware of such.  Does she ever go in a Macy's or a Dillard's? Does she ever pay more than $20 for a pair of shoes?

[floridamom]

Those pretty fabric blue shoes would have looked better than the ones Kelly chose. Seriously, Alyssa really could have taken her mother to DSW.

[Heathen]

13 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

Just looking at those flats makes my feet hurt. I would be hobbling by the time the bride showed up. 

Topic -- why don't the Bates men bother buying a suit that fits? 

[Absolom]

29 minutes ago, Heathen said:

Just looking at those flats makes my feet hurt. I would be hobbling by the time the bride showed up. 

I have bad feet.  Arthritis bad and the shoes are fine for me.  I'm not going shopping in them, but for a wedding and reception or a funeral they are comfortable.  They aren't the cheap ballet flats that I kick off in under five minutes.  I'm guessing that's why we'll never see Kelly in something like that.  

[Notabug]

2 hours ago, Absolom said:

I have bad feet.  Arthritis bad and the shoes are fine for me.  I'm not going shopping in them, but for a wedding and reception or a funeral they are comfortable.  They aren't the cheap ballet flats that I kick off in under five minutes.  I'm guessing that's why we'll never see Kelly in something like that.  

Aerosoles, Naturalizer and other moderately priced comfort shoe companies offer ballet flats with support in dressier materials like patent leather and metallics for under $50.  I have several colors of Clark's ballet flats that match virtually every  nice outfit I own and I wear them to weddings and other events all the time.

The Bates men do not buy suits that fit because it doesn't matter if they look good or not.  They're the headship; they pick the wife, not vice versa.  No need to look nice in if you're a guy in that world.

Edited October 23, 2023 by Notabug

[GeeGolly]

5 hours ago, Heathen said:

Just looking at those flats makes my feet hurt. I would be hobbling by the time the bride showed up. 

Topic -- why don't the Bates men bother buying a suit that fits? 

Yet that is what KJ wore - flats.

[Natalie68]

On 10/22/2023 at 10:32 AM, Notabug said:

I, too, don't do heels; but there are a lot of far nicer choices out there than the flats Kelly was wearing, especially since she said she bought them specifically for that outfit.  A pair of metallic ballet flats would've looked much nicer and been a good addition to her closet, too.  A lot of manufacturers of comfort shoes like Easy Spirit, Clarks, Naturalizer, and Dansko have dressier sandals and flats available.

Birdies has very pretty flats.  And they are super comfy.

[SabineElisabeth]

Agreed that KJ looked lovely - and agree she needed better footwear.  I would've chosen a pair of Tieks ballet flats, such as the ones I stuck in the attached photo.  They're way more comfy than they look and while they're a bit expensive new ($185 to upwards of $400 for some pairs), there's a huge secondary/used market for them - especially on FB - so they can do their "buy used, save the difference thing," too.  Win/win.  (Actually, now that I think about it, not sure if "buying used" is something any of the Bates still do(?), except Erin and occasionally Alyssa, but anyway . . . )

[ginger90]

Screenshot from a video:

[ozziemom]

So KJ hasn’t been home in ages so I guess homeschooling is every child for him or her self. And she drops by to check books, don’t overwork yourself KJ. Seems like they aren’t even pretending to do actual schoolwork. Give a tablet and workbook and we’re all set. 

[Natalie68]

1 hour ago, ginger90 said:

Screenshot from a video:

She probably got tired of sitting in a gross AF house. 

[BitterApple]

Tiffany, put the broom down, sweetie. No matter how hard you try, these bigots will never accept you. Not to mention, there's plenty of able-bodied people living in that home capable of cleaning up their own shit. And to think, she gave up a role in a Netflix series to settle for this. 😥

 

[65mickey]

I was always amazed at how filthy that house looked during the show. I know that with all of those rough and tumble kids it wold be hard to keep things from getting destroyed but jeeze clean it up once in awhile. Remember when Kelton and his dad came over to take Josie out to the covered bridge when Kelton asked her to court? Obviously the Bates were in on it and they know the Balkas were coming over so why not clean up the front porch? It looked like a junk yard. I also remember when Josie and Kelton were looking for an apartment Josie made the comment that it would be nice to have a clean place.

[cereality]

I'm sure Tiff was doing this to be "liked" by Kelly and be considered one of the helpful inlaws. But sweetie these grifters will just expect you to do more and more while still thinking of you as just their Asian DIL, so don't start. Floors are gross - you don't live there - just don't take your shoes off while you're there. If it really is a matter of being too gross for you to stay there for a few days, fine clean up the bedroom + bathroom you are using and that's it.

Wish Tiff would run the other way from this family back to her own upper middle class family, where she could get back to acting, making $, buying more income properties and having friends and family who ACCEPT her for real. I mean damn if you love Law for whatever reason/can't see that he doesn't love you, take him with you. Sure it'll be expensive in Cali but totally doable if she goes back to acting, continues to hold onto her rental properties, and Law can get a job - anything from mowing lawns to working construction under the table.

These people have zero sense of embarrassment. It was a mess when Kelton and his dad came to get Josie for the courtship ask. It was a mess when Bobby's parents came to visit the first time and Tori was giving them a tour; you could see junk piled on the stairs, laundry stacked to the ceiling in the laundry room. It was a mess at Christmas - when they also invited Kelton's dad to come over - as his grandkids ran around barefoot inside and their feet were black . . . .

I mean I get it, a lot of people live there so it's hard to keep things perfect. Yet when you know you have Kelton's dad or Bobby's parents coming to visit or for freaking Christmas, can you not make an effort? You can't make people pick their junk up off the floors and put it in their own closets? You can put the laundry in baskets (or don't - but then don't give tours of the house). You can't run a mop or wet jet type of thing thru the family room floors?

[65mickey]

Did Travis's family ever visit the Bates's palace? If so I cannot imagine what they thought of the future daughter in law's family.

[cereality]

I actually don't think they visited. Travis visited a bunch of times and seemed unimpressed with Katie's behavior - making fun of him, shoving ice cream in his face - but we don't know if he noticed the house or what he thought of it. Honestly I think Trav needed to get married, saw a hot fundie on IG willing to give him a chance, and was pulled in by her large fun, always screaming about something family. Like it was just a huge contrast to his more buttoned up formal family.

When it was time to meet the inlaws heehaw Ma and Pa Bates showed up at the Clark mansion. I only remember that because Kelly went on and on to the point of it being uncomfortable that Trav has many cousins and they all live close by and were all raised like siblings. As if to say, she isn't marrying into some weirdo family with only 3 kids, there's tons of other family too. Like we get it you don't approve that Ma Clark closed up shop after 3 babies but uh that's what allowed them a nice mansion, where each kid had their own room, actual healthcare at real health systems - not on the barter system with creepy Dr. Vick, vacations, and you know - parental attention.

I don't recall how G&K behaved that first time at the Clark home other than the # of kid comments, though Katie again took it as an opportunity to smash cake and ice cream in Trav's face after he told her not to - getting it on his sports coat etc. But I'm sure seared in Ma Clark's mind is the baby shower - where G&K showed up with pizza in hand, proceeded to sit there and eat with loudass Carlin, Evan, John and whoever else they brought, as she/FIL ran around setting up tables/chairs/food/everything for the guests. Oh but it's ok they offered up 15 yr old Addie to help her. Her inner Jersey girl was about to come out . . . .

[AstridM]

Why did Travis “need” to get married so badly?

[65mickey]

He was 20 years old and he wanted to have sex. So in their culture marry him off fast so he wouldn't do the deed before marriage. Other than that I don't know why parents of a 20 year old approved of this. 

I do think marriage and family agree with Travis and Katie. They have matured so much. 

[Meow Mix]

There is absolutely no excuse for that place to be such a pigsty even with a lot of people living there.  Even the youngest kids are old enough to clean up after themselves and not spill all over the place.  The Bates and the Duggars spent years telling us how much better than everyone else they were with their chore charts and jurisdictions, so I would expect pretty spotless houses or just a quick cleanup for when company comes.  Not this crowd.  

This is the second time Kelly has been "too busy" to clean her own house lately.  When Isaiah was coming back from the Philippines, Ellie had to clean the house and Michael had to do all the work on signs and whatnot to welcome him back.  Now Tiffany has to clean her house.  Kelly is lazy.  Tiffany needs to stop trying to get these people to like her and take care of herself.

[GeeGolly]

So Trace, Lydia, Addee and Kelly are somewhere snow skiing. I wonder who else is there?

[Salacious Kitty]

7 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

So Trace, Lydia, Addee and Kelly are somewhere snow skiing. I wonder who else is there?

It's a little early for their annual Colorado trip. 

[BitterApple]

2 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

So Trace, Lydia, Addee and Kelly are somewhere snow skiing. I wonder who else is there?

Good question. Katie and Carlin were at Zach's house for dinner, Alyssa and Erin are currently home, and I'm assuming Josie isn't flying cross country so close to her due date, so it doesn't seem like most of the marrieds are attending. Maybe it's Gil, Kelly, Trace, Lydia and the younger kids? 

[cereality]

They're in Colo. Seems like a G&K vacation for the kids who live with them plus Trace/Lydia. It seems like it's Jeb, Jud, Addie, Callie, so I assume Ellie is there too but I haven't seen a pic; that Dillon person who always hangs with them; and Trace/Lydia. I assume Gil is there, though zero pics of him - just Kelly gushing how she loves that she doesn't ski bc she gets to stay with Trace's kid all day.

Seems like Trace/Lydia are the only ones of the marrieds who went this year. I'm not shocked as this trip seems like it's gotten more of a cost sharing thing as UPTv money is gone. Last few times they definitely were having each family/couple provide dinner a few times, buy snacks, chip in for the AirBnb etc. bc Gil wasn't going to foot the whole bill. Not that that's a big deal, but I feel like the marrieds just don't want to do that. 

You know Evan and Carlin, they'd be there with bells on if it were FREE, but having to chip in for the AirBnb and do dinner a few nights, nope. Luckily Carlin prob isn't feeling much FOMO bc besties Katie/Trav and Z&W didn't go either and they're all in Tenn. hanging out since Katie is still in town. At the end of the day K&T can afford whatever vacations they want and don't need the cost splitting and Z&W seem to prioritize hanging out with their own kids on their own vacations, not with hordes of people.

I feel like Nathan/Esther, Jackson/Emerson also like doing their own thing without the family. I'm shocked Law isn't there, but we may see him pop in sans Tiff for a few days; I feel like she has zero interest in skiing and even less in her family. Plus when these guys go stag - like John did last yr - they likely aren't required to provide anything in the way of food or are seen as a huge hero if they order pizza for all for dinner one night. Alyssa and Erin never attended this trip anyway with their hordes of kids.

And Kelton - lol - he couldn't hate his inlaws more. While he surprisingly did go the last 2 years, I think as he does better and better financially, he's like whatever - we can go skiing on our own whenever we want and we'll pay for ski school for the kids and babysitting a few nights too for date night; like being with G&K ain't worth the free babysitting. Even last year when the Bates were staying 30 min from the mountain, he was on a gondola one time looking at the ski in/ski out cabins on the mountain saying to Josie - we should stay here next time.

[BitterApple]

Just saw that Lawson is there as well. Not sure about Tiffany. 

Personally I hate doing large group trips. I'm the type that wants to get up and be on my own schedule. I don't want to sit in a hotel lobby for an hour waiting for someone to finish their makeup or jump in the shower because they didn't wake up on time. I can't even imagine how bad those antics would be in a family like the Bates.

 

 

[Heathen]

43 minutes ago, cereality said:

And Kelton - lol - he couldn't hate his inlaws more. While he surprisingly did go the last 2 years, I think as he does better and better financially, he's like whatever - we can go skiing on our own whenever we want and we'll pay for ski school for the kids and babysitting a few nights too for date night; like being with G&K ain't worth the free babysitting. Even last year when the Bates were staying 30 min from the mountain, he was on a gondola one time looking at the ski in/ski out cabins on the mountain saying to Josie - we should stay here next time.

Carlin and Evan would be pea-green with envy. 

[GeeGolly]

I'm sure Josie wishes she was there with her current BFF Lydia. Next year Lydia will likely be pregnant or maybe she'll be deported.

If KJ&G's objective is to have a family vacation it makes more sense to go to a beach. Its cheaper and more kid and pregnant mom friendly.

Or maybe they just want to ski. Any sighting of Callie? Or is she home babysitting Tiff?

[GeeGolly]

Does anyone know why the Clarks are in TN and the Paines are on their way? An early ILY day?

[Salacious Kitty]

3 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

Does anyone know why the Clarks are in TN and the Paines are on their way? An early ILY day?

I think it was Carlin who said their weekend was full of activities. I guess that includes the LHOTP ILY party.

[ginger90]

[65mickey]

Since Addie doesn't have a topic here I am posting on Gil and Kelly's thread. Reddit has Addie's graduation speech. I had to turn it off after the first few seconds. First off she was so nervous that she seemed about to burs into tears. Secondly she right off the bat made the comment that she was so lucky to have godly christian parents and that her parents didn't have this so much with their parents.  What an awful thing to say. She and her parents should be ashamed that she would judge her grandparents and do so publicly like this because they do not ascribe to the narrow fundamentalist religion that she has been spoon fed. I have to wonder what Gil and Kelly thought about their young daughter saying this. 

[Notabug]

1 hour ago, 65mickey said:

Since Addie doesn't have a topic here I am posting on Gil and Kelly's thread. Reddit has Addie's graduation speech. I had to turn it off after the first few seconds. First off she was so nervous that she seemed about to burs into tears. Secondly she right off the bat made the comment that she was so lucky to have godly christian parents and that her parents didn't have this so much with their parents.  What an awful thing to say. She and her parents should be ashamed that she would judge her grandparents and do so publicly like this because they do not ascribe to the narrow fundamentalist religion that she has been spoon fed. I have to wonder what Gil and Kelly thought about their young daughter saying this. 

I expect she wouldn't have been permitted to post it without their approval.  And, like JRod and Jim Bob, I think they have no problem bragging about how perfectly they parented their own kids when compared to their parents.  It's the fundie way; brag about how modest you are while proclaiming your perfection.

[GeeGolly]

Has Addee's speech improved since the time she finally was fitted with hearing aids? IIRC, she went over a decade without hearing aids.

[65mickey]

Her speech sounded fine to me a little shaky most likely from nerves. It was what she said that was awful not how she said it.   Part of me wishes that Janie calls her up and reads her the riot act but another part of me hopes that Janie didn't hear the speech. 

[Heathen]

1 hour ago, GeeGolly said:

Has Addee's speech improved since the time she finally was fitted with hearing aids? IIRC, she went over a decade without hearing aids.

What, her idiot parents couldn't grift a pair from some "sweet" hearing-aid company?

[ginger90]

3 hours ago, 65mickey said:

I have to wonder what Gil and Kelly thought about their young daughter saying this. 

Apparently they’re fine with it. Kelly posted a link to it in this:

[65mickey]

Probably because all she heard was Addie describing Gil and her as godly christians.  Anything said after that went in one ear and out the other. 

[GeeGolly]

48 minutes ago, Heathen said:

What, her idiot parents couldn't grift a pair from some "sweet" hearing-aid company?

I don't recall the exact ages, but I believe she had hearing aids at a relatively young age, maybe 3ish, but she didn't like wearing them. I believe they were then lost and never replaced. Addee finally asked for a new pair sometime near her teens.

So she went years not hearing well and it was definitely reflected in her speech.

[Heathen]

9 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

I don't recall the exact ages, but I believe she had hearing aids at a relatively young age, maybe 3ish, but she didn't like wearing them. I believe they were then lost and never replaced. Addee finally asked for a new pair sometime near her teens.

So she went years not hearing well and it was definitely reflected in her speech.

Gee, Kelly and Gil, maybe you should have ACTED LIKE PARENTS and done what was right for your child! Did they let their other kids decide at age three if they'd get vaccinated or take medication? (These are rhetorical questions.) 

I cordially despise Gil and Kelly. Also, those original hearing aids are probably lost in the shithole that is Chez Bates. 

[AgathaC]

Can I take a moment and say how much I hate the term “godly”? It sounds too much to me like self-righteousness and bragging, which I’m pretty sure Jesus wasn’t too keen on.

As for Addee’s speech, I seriously doubt she picked up that opinion on her own. It’s probably been drummed into those kids for years how lucky they are that they have such wonderful parents with such excellent morals. Their own parents weren’t so lucky growing up. The fundy version of “when I was your age, I had to walk 10 miles to school in the snow.”

[65mickey]

17 hours ago, AgathaC said:

Can I take a moment and say how much I hate the term “godly”? It sounds too much to me like self-righteousness and bragging, which I’m pretty sure Jesus wasn’t too keen on.

As for Addee’s speech, I seriously doubt she picked up that opinion on her own. It’s probably been drummed into those kids for years how lucky they are that they have such wonderful parents with such excellent morals. Their own parents weren’t so lucky growing up. The fundy version of “when I was your age, I had to walk 10 miles to school in the snow.”

I'm with you on the use of the word "godly." I never heard that word until a few years ago. It seems to be popular with fundies. I think it is a stretch to compare or relate another human to God. And I am quite sure that Gil and Kelly have put this nonsense in their children's heads that they are godly and christian much more than their parents were.  Addie didn't just come up with this off the top of her head. 

[AstridM]

1 hour ago, 65mickey said:

I'm with you on the use of the word "godly." I never heard that word until a few years ago. It seems to be popular with fundies. I think it is a stretch to compare or relate another human to God.

Yep. I grew up Catholic and never once heard that word!

[Absolom]

It's very much a fundie/evangelical thing.  They mean following their definition of Christian behavior not being as God.  

[AstridM]

12 minutes ago, Absolom said:

It's very much a fundie/evangelical thing.  They mean following their definition of Christian behavior not being as God.  

Thanks. It still always sounds so odd to me. 

[RebeccatheWriter]

On 5/27/2024 at 9:42 PM, Heathen said:

Gee, Kelly and Gil, maybe you should have ACTED LIKE PARENTS and done what was right for your child! Did they let their other kids decide at age three if they'd get vaccinated or take medication? (These are rhetorical questions.) 

I cordially despise Gil and Kelly. Also, those original hearing aids are probably lost in the shithole that is Chez Bates. 

At the time of her first hearing aids, the technology was worse. One of my daughters has to wear them but she frequently "loses" them and refuses to admit that she is not wearing them. I only have two and it can take a while before I realize she isn't wearing them. She and others with hearing impairment can fake it for a while and live by other cues. 

Addallee per the episode where she was wearing her new ones and seeing an audiologist - got a lot of feedback and noise issues on the old ones. That was very frequent until recently. Imagine hearing the sound that you hear when a microphone squeals, but it is several times a day. She heard echoes and other static sounds. So I have no doubt that she would remove her original hearing aids and try to live without them. I consider myself a better parent that Gil and Kelly, but with my daughter I did get to the point where I said, "fine, don't wear them and see how it feels not to hear everything" - hoping she would decide to wear them again. I felt bad that my daughter's original ones caused her headaches and were painful. We visited her doctors frequently and were told it would get better. 

Addallee can hear lower register voices and appears to be high functioning with her hearing issues. 

[65mickey]

2 hours ago, AstridM said:

Yep. I grew up Catholic and never once heard that word!

Same with me, I have heard the expression God fearing woman or man.  

[GeeGolly]

My mom worked at a school for the deaf in the 60s. The kids wore their hearing aids attached to a battery pack/adjuster worn on a harness. Addee was born in the 2000s and while hearing aids weren't Bluetooth then, they were pretty great.