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Teen Mom 2: Small Talk


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Hi everyone. Just wanted to let everyone know that Teen Mom 2 season 1 is on demand if you have Spectrum. I just started watching the very first episode, and these girls look so so young. Of course that's because they are, but they look and seem younger than I remember. I do not remember Leah ever having some sort of a lip chin piercing but she does. Happy watching everyone.

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3 hours ago, SuzyQILoveYou said:

Hi everyone. Just wanted to let everyone know that Teen Mom 2 season 1 is on demand if you have Spectrum. I just started watching the very first episode, and these girls look so so young. Of course that's because they are, but they look and seem younger than I remember. I do not remember Leah ever having some sort of a lip chin piercing but she does. Happy watching everyone.

Thanks! I found all the TM season 1 episodes online but the season 1 TM2 episodes haven’t been so easy to find!

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Hi guys!!  

I hope everyone had a great Christmas.  Mine was really good, I love it when everyone loves the presents I got them, that's the best part for me.  

I got my me and my son a special present.  I've been doing a "bucket list" type thing, even though I hate that term.  I'm doing my dream list this year.  Me and my son have always loved nature shows, Alaska shows in particular.  We've watched them together since he was 5 and he's now 33 so it's been a long time. Our favorite of all time was Alone in the Wilderness. We have watched that together at least 25 times and since he was a kid, our dream was to go and see the cabin the man (Dick Proenneke) built.  Well....We're going!!!  We fly from San Francisco to Alaska at the end of March.  We're going to stay in a lodge at Lake Clark and we'll spend 3 days there taking a tour of his cabin and the other places from the show.  Then we leave from there and stay in a cabin near Kachemak Bay for 5 days. We have a lot of stuff were planning and we figured we would go to your the Kilcher Homestead. 

I'm beyond excited but there's a huge issue.  I have never flown and have sworn I never would because the very thought terrifies me. My Dr has said she'll give me some valium for every flight so that should help.  Before I do a long flight,  me and my daughter are flying from Oakland to Los Angeles in 2 weeks.  That's an hour-ish flight compared to a 6-7 hour flight to Anchorage. I'm hoping the short flight will get me over the big fear because I'll know what to expect.  We'll see.  Lol.  

My daughter is going to choose a place she wants to go on vacation and then she and I will go. I'm also hoping I'll be able to do a grandkids trip.  I'm still feeling pretty good so I should be able to squeeze it in.   I think my daughter is leaning they Louisiana for our trip. 

I'm doing well since my diagnosis, I don't feel any different and I'm keeping super busy so I don't dwell on shit.  I finally told my kids and after some hysteria from my daughter and granddaughter, everyone is coming to terms.  It's not like I'm going tomorrow. They promised me 2 years and Dammit I will have at least that!!! 

h

Happy New year My friends.  Thanks for reading my long rambling post. I finally convinced the hubby that it was ok to go back on the road for a while.  He hates leaving me alone now but I NEED my alone time.  I miss you all, I'm going to try to come back more often.  Take care and have a happy safe new years eve. 

Edited by Maharincess
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@Maharincess I'm so glad to hear you are okay!

Alaska is truly beautiful! I hope it is everything you and your son are hoping for! It sounds like your doctor is awesome and wants to make sure you can take and enjoy your trips. 

I hope you and your daughter can go someplace special too!

Happy New Year my friend! Thinking of you and sending you love (not in an Amber way)!

And hoping all my PTV friends have an wonderful 2019!

Edited by badhaggis
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Building on what I think @Christina87 was talking about in the Jenelle thread. 

 

@Christina87, I think what you’re trying to say (and correct me if I’m wrong) is that some people have twisted the ideals of second wave feminism and some men have used these ideals to encourage lazy and thriffling behavior. 

 

I personally am very grateful for second wave feminism- as a black woman with no desire to marry or procreate my options for life would be extremely limited. Given the family I come from I wouldn’t go hungry, I would’ve been allowed to pursue nursing, elementary education or another female “appropriate profession” in order to feed myself, but with limited contraceptive options my social life would suffer. 

 

I do think women in 2019 who want a more traditional heteronormative lifestyle have it harder- because there’s less incentive for men to carry their weight these days! One of my older guy friends said (married in my childfree Group) “life is too easy for these young dudes, if a woman will have sex with the they have no motivation to work.” Of course all men are not like this (I know some very hard working men my age that are good husbands and fathers).

 

In the olden days (as bad as they were in someways) if a man didn’t work he didn’t get laid- period. Only a rich man could afford to keep a mistress or side family, these days any Joe Shmoe can have a side chick; and some women are just expected to put up with it, it because like before she needed to survive but because he’s a “man”.

 

I grew in a family with a lot of elderly people, and traditional gender roles for most of my grandparents generation (born 1910-1923), but I did see the older men in my family appreciate the domestic labor of their wives and take their duties as a provider seriously. Granted my maternal grandfather and grandmother encouraged my Mom to go to med school because they told her she would make a horrible wife, no man would stay with her so she needed to be able to support herself well (she still has hang ups about that- my mom is 70 and never married)  

 

Of course I am not advocating for the days when women couldn’t support themselves and left at the mercy of their male relatives!! (Id be signing own death warrant)Of course I am not advocating for a world where anyone who wasn’t interested in a heteronormative lifestyle was shunned (or had to join a religious order), but I do acknowledge that in the days of gendered labor division EVERY abled person was expected to pull their weight, and I think the “women’s work” was valued.

I see too often these days that women are expected to do everything and men are expected to just exist. I don’t think that’s right. I think this attitude in its worst form leads to the Davids and Adams of the world. 

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Also, so many men will date a woman for five or more years, waffling the whole time about marriage, when society in the fifties would have heavily encouraged him to take the plunge, and he would have been happy. I'm not talking about people who hastily get married just to be married (which still does happen today, if you're desperate enough!), and I agree they are happier waiting. However, I'm currently in the process of getting away from such a man so he doesn't waste five years of my life! His brother also lives with his girlfriend of eight years, and she wants to get married, but he's having none of it. Obviously there is something there to be together that long, and living together for a while, and if he married her, he definitely wouldn't be in the same category of someone who is rushing. If there is some offending quality about her, he needs to end it. It would be different if neither of them wanted to marry, but it is so unfair to her. He gives her just enough hope they'll marry to keep her dangling, and paying her share of the bills. Society in the fifties, with all its faults, was set up to prevent this kind of thing, which is increasingly common. They've been together eight years. If he had taken the plunge and married her after year one, it obviously would have worked out. Even if they divorced in a few years, a 10-year marriage isn't exactly something to sneeze at! Again, if she wanted to just live together, whatever, but this situation never would have happened in the fifties.

Could not figure out how to pull the quote from Jenelle's thread so I had to copy and paste from Christina87's post. Sorry for all the weird fonts!

Here is the thing about this situation. Society in the 1950s would have shamed the girlfriend for moving in with a man who has no clear intentions of marrying her other than some vague far off promises about the future more than they would have shamed him. Or the chances are they would never have moved in together at all. And while it may seem like he is being unfair to her and stringing her along, she could just pack up her things and walk away and be fine because she has a job and financial independence ( I assume based on the fact that she is paying half the bills). A stay at home wife in 1950 who never worked outside the home would not have that level of independence to walk away from a bad situation where she is being treated poorly or getting what she needs from the relationship. Would it be kind of him to end it if "there is some offending quality about her?" Sure. But she can end it too if he is not giving her what she needs. And she should. My Dad has only ever given me one piece of dating advice and that is that you will never, ever change a man in any large way. In small ways, sure, but if there are big things about him that don't work for you they will always be there and you should just move along if you can't make peace with them. That is what this woman should do. Maybe losing her will be a turning point for him and he will settle down with the next woman he dates. Maybe he will be someone who never gets married because that is not what he wants at all despite all of his vague promises to her now.  

One of my best friends was with a guy for 7 plus years who similarly strung her along. He wanted to have kids but didn't want to get married. She almost went along with it despite wanting to be married before having kids. Finally she decided that being married was too important to her and she ended things. He came around a bit and said maybe he did want to get married (and honestly I think he probably would have married her at that point even though I don't think it was what he wanted). But then she looked at their entire relationship as a whole and realized that it wasn't just the not getting married thing hanging over them that made for a lousy relationship. There was a ton of other stuff and all of that stuff had been there all along even if she couldn't see it  because they were mostly happy. So she stuck to her guns and didn't take him back. She was married to someone else with a baby within 2 years and is insanely happy. He, not at all shockingly, is still not married and probably never will be. And that is fine. That is his choice. Should he have not wasted 7 years of her time? Maybe but she could have and should have walked away sooner and not wasted any of her own time. He was always problematic and I suspect the brother in your example probably is too for reasons beyond just the getting married thing. 

The point I am trying to make is that while the brother's girlfriend may be frustrated and disappointed with her situation, she has way more options to change her situation in 2019 than she would have in 1950. And so does everyone else. Sure, maybe it seems like men now have less incentive to marry because more women these days are not set on that model but just as feminism is meant to give women more options (stay at home or don't, get married or don't, have kids or don't), it has given men similar options. Does it suck if you are a woman who wants to get married and stay at home and it feels like there are less men looking for that exact situation? I am sure it does. But it also sucked for a woman in 1950 who didn't want to get married or have kids but felt like that was the only option society felt appropriate for her as woman. At the end of the day I'd rather be single and able to independently support myself than trapped in an unhappy marriage/relationship with someone who supports me financially but maybe really didn't want to get married at all and only did it because that is what was expected of him. And I have that option now because of feminism. It is not perfect by any means but I will take more options for everyone any day over the alternative. 

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2 hours ago, TeeMo said:

The point I am trying to make is that while the brother's girlfriend may be frustrated and disappointed with her situation, she has way more options to change her situation in 2019 than she would have in 1950. And so does everyone else. Sure, maybe it seems like men now have less incentive to marry because more women these days are not set on that model but just as feminism is meant to give women more options (stay at home or don't, get married or don't, have kids or don't), it has given men similar options. Does it suck if you are a woman who wants to get married and stay at home and it feels like there are less men looking for that exact situation? I am sure it does. But it also sucked for a woman in 1950 who didn't want to get married or have kids but felt like that was the only option society felt appropriate for her as woman. At the end of the day I'd rather be single and able to independently support myself than trapped in an unhappy marriage/relationship with someone who supports me financially but maybe really didn't want to get married at all and only did it because that is what was expected of him. And I have that option now because of feminism. It is not perfect by any means but I will take more options for everyone any day over the alternative. 

Slow clap. GO YOU!!!!

 

Yes that’s the point I’m trying to make. More options are ALWAYS better for every individual to live a more autonomous and fulfilling life.

I would NOT want to go back, but I think that there are always improvements. It’s not an either or type deal. I feel very comfortable looking at feminist theory and seeing where improvements could be made.

 

Third Wave feminism is building on the notions of Second Wave feminism, and pointing out how gender roles often hurt men and their full potential. Social attitudes evolve- for example in the 90s people were starting to finally talk about “date rape” in a public way, “no means no”, “roofies etc”, now we have discussions around enthusiastic consent- this is PROGRESS. 

 

I think these discussions are so vauable thank you so much @TeeMo.

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@TeeMo and @Scarlett45, thanks so much for the lively discussion!!! I've been away basically all day, and am just now catching up. I think you both bring up some good points...Scarlett, that men in this time period often do want the woman to do everything, and I agree that third wave feminism is helping men by allowing them to reach their full potential. I have never thought about that before, but there IS social pressure on men, but now it is pressure not to do anything sexually to women without consent. There ARE pressures in society that protect women that ironically weren't there before, in a time that seemed to protect women more. I was actually talking to a friend last night who reminded everyone at our table that marital rape was allowed until 2014! 2014! That was so recent! Also, men today moan about how the courts unfairly favor women in divorces, but you've got to remember that before no fault divorce, a large number of men simply abandoned the family, leaving the woman without (usually) a way to earn a living. So I absolutely see a great point there, that women are protected by social pressures today (not to mention the legal rights we have won), but they are just different social pressures than they were before. And where the social pressure used to be settling down (which was sometimes a good choice, and sometimes bad), it's now more centered around the right to bodily autonomy (and violating that is ALWAYS a bad choice). So I definitely think that is a great point, and I'm glad that has become a focus of feminism!

TeeMo, I love the example you shared, and I agree, it definitely is great that women have options now! Whereas the SAHM in the fifties had no way to make a living, someone in a relationship that's going nowhere can easily leave and make a life for herself. I do still think that what the man is doing is wrong (in cases where he knows he would be happy with the woman, knows she wants to get married, but just wants to halfway commit to get sex / a servant / a fun companion out of it), as unfortunately, the man is still the leader of the relationship in our society. The man asks for the first date, the man pursues, the man asks the girl to be his girlfriend, and the man proposes. Of course, there are cases that are different, but this is the accepted norm in our society. I just feel that if the man realizes he's leading the relationship into a wall, he is obligated to tell the woman so she can get out. Most act like they're not, to keep whatever it is they're getting, and sadly, too many women believe them. This is a bad situation that happens all too often that didn't happen before feminism, and sometimes, social pressure is needed to prevent people from giving into their worst selfish impulses. However, I do agree that the flip side of that is that women have more agency to leave and still survive, which is really a great thing for society! And like I said in the paragraph before, women having agency affects 100% of women positively, while pressure for men to settle down affects only some women positively (as some men don't hesitate to settle down, and some women don't want to). 

I do think, as with any social movement, you gain some ground in some areas, and lose them in others. However, hopefully the gains affect more people in a positive way than affect others in a negative way, which both of your examples have shown. I thank you ladies for having a civil and polite discussion about this issue! You have really gotten me to think about some things that I haven't thought about before, and broadened my perspective. It's always a great thing, IMO, to explore differences of opinion and hopefully arrive at new conclusions than you have held before. You have really gotten me thinking today!

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@Christina87 no problem! Happy to have these discussions. I do agree with you than men still have more power in society and in heteronormative relationships.

In the cases of men stringing women along-while adult women are fully autonomous beings, I do think that each adult has a moral responsibly to be emotionally honest with their partner. And yeah I see more often that guys string women along they don’t really want because they “enjoy her”, meaning they like having the emotional labor of a woman, a regular sexual partner and recreational companion yet they KNOW the woman wants a more serious life and they just don’t want to let her go. That’s not right. Not even including if a woman wants biological children she’s not a much shorter window than a similarly situated man!

Does it make them a nasty abusive shit like a David type? Of course not! But it’s not being a man it’s being a little boy. Sadly women, often being nurturers and seeing “potential” and waste years and years with dudes like this. Now no one put a gun to their head, they made the choice to stay, but that doesn’t mean everything the guy did was 100% on the up and up. 

One thing I’ve noticed in my friends that have sons, is that they are teaching them to be more empathetic and emotionally well rounded which I think will make society better as a whole. 

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If a woman in 2019 wants to break free of her trifiling boyfriend, she can.  And should! If you’ve spent multiple years with a dude that doesn’t want to marry you, and you’ve had evidence of that (and they ALL have evidence), then Goooo!  People tell you who they they are!

Also I proposed to my husband. It was great. He was over-thinking it, because he thought it should be “romantic.” But I’m a practical girl and finally just said “Baby, I love you and we are totally joining our fources (ie, money, buying a house).  It’s easier to just get married and save about $1000 in legal fees.”

The most imortant words in a marriage are not “I love you” but “I choose us.” Or your own equivelent.   

Marriage doesn't solve problems. Just like babies don’t solve problems.  

You’re a team and figure it out.  

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On 1/3/2019 at 9:58 PM, lefawn said:

If a woman in 2019 wants to break free of her trifiling boyfriend, she can.  And should! If you’ve spent multiple years with a dude that doesn’t want to marry you, and you’ve had evidence of that (and they ALL have evidence), then Goooo!  People tell you who they they are!

Also I proposed to my husband. It was great. He was over-thinking it, because he thought it should be “romantic.” But I’m a practical girl and finally just said “Baby, I love you and we are totally joining our fources (ie, money, buying a house).  It’s easier to just get married and save about $1000 in legal fees.”

The most imortant words in a marriage are not “I love you” but “I choose us.” Or your own equivelent.   

Marriage doesn't solve problems. Just like babies don’t solve problems.  

You’re a team and figure it out.  

Damn. I woulda said yes too, just based off this post, haha.

Does anyone have an iPhone? I hate that new feature where it tells you how much screen time you’ve used and on what apps...like, bitch, did anyone ask you for that info?! Stop judging me! I’ve been on my phone basically allllll day today (just look at all my posts here!) It’s gonna be like “you’re up 2,474% this week, ya life wasting loser!!” It’s like 20 degrees out so fuck off, Apple!

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5 hours ago, Rebecca said:

Damn. I woulda said yes too, just based off this post, haha.

Does anyone have an iPhone? I hate that new feature where it tells you how much screen time you’ve used and on what apps...like, bitch, did anyone ask you for that info?! Stop judging me! I’ve been on my phone basically allllll day today (just look at all my posts here!) It’s gonna be like “you’re up 2,474% this week, ya life wasting loser!!” It’s like 20 degrees out so fuck off, Apple!

I read the bolded in Barb's voice, hahaha!

I have an Android, and Instagram tells me how much time I spend on it every day which is bad enough. I just follow a lot of people, okay! Don't judge me, Barb!

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I made it.  We just got back from L.A. and I survived my first plane trip!  I was so damn nervous when the door slammed shut. My daughter said my leg was shaking up and down the whole flight but I did it.  I'll definitely need valium when I take the long trip in March but I now know what to expect and I think I'll be ok.  We didn't stay in L.A. long, it was mainly a trip to get me used to a plane. My daughter has decided that she wants to go to New Orleans for her trip and we're renting an RV and taking a road trip with the grandkids this summer. We're letting each kid pick a destination. My granddaughter instantly chose the Grand Canyon, which was on my list.  My grandson is still making up his mind. They're 10 and 7 and they're so much fun, I can't wait for that trip.  

How is everyone?  I'm doing well, still feeling good physically. I hope you're all doing great.  I miss you guys.  

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1 hour ago, Maharincess said:

I made it.  We just got back from L.A. and I survived my first plane trip!  I was so damn nervous when the door slammed shut. My daughter said my leg was shaking up and down the whole flight but I did it.  I'll definitely need valium when I take the long trip in March but I now know what to expect and I think I'll be ok.  We didn't stay in L.A. long, it was mainly a trip to get me used to a plane. My daughter has decided that she wants to go to New Orleans for her trip and we're renting an RV and taking a road trip with the grandkids this summer. We're letting each kid pick a destination. My granddaughter instantly chose the Grand Canyon, which was on my list.  My grandson is still making up his mind. They're 10 and 7 and they're so much fun, I can't wait for that trip.  

How is everyone?  I'm doing well, still feeling good physically. I hope you're all doing great.  I miss you guys.  

The Grand Canyon is great family trip! I hope you have a wonderful time. If you have time  Canyon De Chelly, the Painted Desert and the Petrified Forest are really  beautiful too.

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I binged my DVR’s of Dirty John today before the Chiefs game came on.  Holay!  Jenelle is like a PWT (poor white trash) Debra.  Actually not just Jenelle.  All these fools could use a lesson in predators.  Ladies please put your kids FIRST!  And if you don’t have kids, put yourself first.  Not one of these girls have ever not put a dude before themselves or their kids.  Yes, Chelsea too.  She is as dickmatized as they all are, she just hides it better.  

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On 1/10/2019 at 11:34 PM, Rebecca said:

Damn. I woulda said yes too, just based off this post, haha.

Does anyone have an iPhone? I hate that new feature where it tells you how much screen time you’ve used and on what apps...like, bitch, did anyone ask you for that info?! Stop judging me! I’ve been on my phone basically allllll day today (just look at all my posts here!) It’s gonna be like “you’re up 2,474% this week, ya life wasting loser!!” It’s like 20 degrees out so fuck off, Apple!

I don’t have an iPhone. I have an iPad and yes I hate seeing how much hulu/Netflix I watch lol.

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Bringing @Christina87 post over to Small Talk Thread. 

 

We discuss this in my Sib Group a lot, not wanting to add more burdens to the family when you're a "typical" child. Some children "act out" for attention and other children "perform duties" for attention and praise. I definitely think I was on the "perform duties" spectrum, but no it was not a conscious thing. Also, I never felt for one moment that I didn't get enough attention or anything like that, BUT because my sister is so low functioning, I didn't have to compete with her for emotional attention if that makes sense. I was always the only one who talked back, and who called our mother "Mommy", or drew a picture, said "I love you" or was able to interact in a substantial way. When my Mom is in a not so great mood she says "I swear your sister thinks I am a living doll, born to serve her needs." (which she kind of does, funny not funny)

I must say that I do stand up for Gracie in the thread because I couldn't imagine how hard it would be if my sister could EMOTIONALLY manipulate situations. When she was going through puberty it was ROUGH all the aggression (she hated period with a passion and destroyed so many towels etc trying to wipe the blood away, we could not explain to her what was going on, it took a YEAR for her to get used to it)- but I never had to worry about her blaming ME for things I didn't do or saying that I pushed her when I didn't (that upset me so badly when Ali did that to Gracie!!!) But Gracie gets to have an emotional relationship with Ali that I and others in my position will never get to have. 

It wasn't until I was an adult that I understood why my Mom was so worried I would feel ignored or not as important, many of my fellow sibs struggle with that and they had to do far less "work" as in caregiving than I had to do. But my sister while a lot of financial and physical work at this point requires very little emotional work, and at 31 she is pretty mellow these days. 

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12 minutes ago, teapot said:

Hello, friends!  That was...um, excruciating...and I missed all of you terribly!  At least I got a lot of *shudder* work done, and it *is* almost time to get our performance reviews, so ther’s that!!!

Well that IS thrilling Teapot! I was unprepared for the break. Heartbroken. I like the new LIKE options now! 

I tried on 27 pairs of jeans. THREE fit! LMAO! Still binge  watching. I'm down to The View and it is PAINFUL! And I don't want to watch The Young and the Restless because we lost an actor and his last day and tribute aired. UGH! 

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What we have been wanting may finally happen.  My husband got a job offer at a base in Washington State.  He has to let them know by the 19th.  Eeeek! We already bought tickets for a trip there in a couple of weeks.  Now we may actually be flying there to find a home. I’m excited.  My kiddo is excited.  My mother is going to be sooooo sad. 😕 We want out of Texas so bad though.  For multiple reasons.  But I’ll miss the cheap housing prices.  Ha

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18 minutes ago, Mkay said:

What we have been wanting may finally happen.  My husband got a job offer at a base in Washington State.  He has to let them know by the 19th.  Eeeek! We already bought tickets for a trip there in a couple of weeks.  Now we may actually be flying there to find a home. I’m excited.  My kiddo is excited.  My mother is going to be sooooo sad. 😕 We want out of Texas so bad though.  For multiple reasons.  But I’ll miss the cheap housing prices.  Ha

Best of luck!!

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50 minutes ago, Mkay said:

What we have been wanting may finally happen.  My husband got a job offer at a base in Washington State.  He has to let them know by the 19th.  Eeeek! We already bought tickets for a trip there in a couple of weeks.  Now we may actually be flying there to find a home. I’m excited.  My kiddo is excited.  My mother is going to be sooooo sad. 😕 We want out of Texas so bad though.  For multiple reasons.  But I’ll miss the cheap housing prices.  Ha

Which base? That's so exciting!

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@druzy I like your new school clothes! Lol! That was always my favorite part of a new school year.

@geauxaway The schools here have 9.5 days to make up. It must be a record year for that in many places!

@Mkay Congrats! Moving states is so fun, I love a fresh start.

Random but does anyone know a good place to buy high quality sheets, online or off? Preferably less expensive (lol) but quality is more important. I bought a new bed and it’s turning into a full bedroom makeover 😆 

Edited by Rebecca
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33 minutes ago, Rebecca said:

Random but does anyone know a good place to buy high quality sheets, online or off? Preferably less expensive (lol) but quality is more important. I bought a new bed and it’s turning into a full bedroom makeover 😆 

Thanks to Stassi Schroeder's podcast, 
I discovered Boll and Branch sheets

www.bollandbranch.com

they are pretty pricey but they come in a beautiful package & they're like buttah!!!

Edited by teapot
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