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S05.E12: Heads Will Roll


thewhiteowl
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Ok...I think I may have totally lost my mind, because I couldn't follow what was going on at all.  

 

I half-watch the show, and it seemed really disjointed.  It seemed like leading into and out of every frickin' scene they had some out-of-sequence random snippet.  Like the guest judge and Oliver commenting on tattoos as they were being inked...when the scene immediately before was the end of the challenge.  Or jumping from Jason telling Cleen he was going to falter, to Cleen not being on the couch, to Eric and Don seemingly the only ones in the room.  

 

I get planting a random 3-second scene into a commercial break to catch DVR viewers, or whatever.  I also fully understand how reality shows work where they recap, show-new stuff, and the preview what's to come.  But holy fuck that was ridiculous.  Or, I've completely lost it.

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I agree, this episode seemed a cluster F.  The flash challenge was way too long & just seemed a jumbled mess.  Draw a design, let the guest judge pick the best drawing, and then draw another design on the guest judge and then let him decide if he wants that tattoo.  What??  Just weird, lets not ever do that again.
 

 

It seemed like leading into and out of every frickin' scene they had some out-of-sequence random snippet.  Like the guest judge and Oliver commenting on tattoos as they were being inked...when the scene immediately before was the end of the challenge.  Or jumping from Jason telling Cleen he was going to falter, to Cleen not being on the couch, to Eric and Don seemingly the only ones in the room.

Editing has always been a little screwy on this show but with the major drama queens gone I think the producers are scrambling to add some excitement to the hour. 

 

Enh at the end of the day the right person went home.  I was impressed with Cleen's tattoo but personally I think Erik should have won.  I might be biased because I like him but I just though his skull was just better looking--very clever to add real, human eyes to the tat.

 

 

 

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So I watched last night, even though I said I wasn't going to do, since Josh went home last week.

Jason continues to be lackluster and disappointing and I have no idea why he was offered redemption because it's clear he's just above mediocre. IF he is talented, then this show is not for him; he is NOT thriving in this competition.

 

Cleen: just UGH. I wish for once, someone on Inkmaster could be both talented AND gracious. I liked Erik's tat better too and was hoping for him to win, but he's not much better in the humility department.

 

I don't really care who wins; not sure how much longer I'm going to hang in and watch without Josh. No one else is root-worthy, IMHO.

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Well, the writing is on the wall now that with Josh out of the competition, Cleen is going to win this thing. Which really irritates me because he's such a complete asshole. I don't care how good he thinks he is, I would never let him do any work on me. Odds are that the final two will be Cleen and Erik. Other than that, I just can't give a fuck. I said that I wasn't going to watch after last week and now I'm wishing that I'd stuck to my guns. Oh well... live and learn.

 

Looking at Jason's portfolio, he's a very good artist (especially in the Japanese style) but he just doesn't have the temperament for this kind of thing. He's too high strung and when things start going wrong for him, the wheels come completely off. I feel bad for him because he seems like a nice guy, but he's never been able to handle the pressure (and it's only going to get worse from here on out).

 

Wasn't particularly impressed with anyone's work this week. Have decided that I would be more satisfied watching Josh do bong hits and then waxing poetic about how the rest of the competitors are idiots than see any of this lot.

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A thought popped into my mind last night: what if they bring Josh back in some sort of way toward the finale? Like he "promises" he hasn't been smoking and they give him a chance to complete. I can hear Jason's "That's Bullshit!!" right now.

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Don's was bad but Jason's was worse. Jason's skull was not straight, not symmetrical, hideously out of proportion, and didn't look like a skull.

That thing was bizarre.  It did not read like a skull at all.  And it seems like it will age poorly also.  That poor "canvas" is going to end up with a big black and grey blob on his head.  Jason does seem like he can do good work but the competition brings out the absolute worst in him.  He is on a bad downward slide.  

 

Don's tattoo was oddly drawn and really lacked perspective.  The small horns on the mid line looked flat and two-dimensional. It still looked better than what Jason produced.   

 

I don't think I would ever risk getting a tattoo done on a competition show.  I certainly wouldn't get one in such a  visible place.  

 

I did think there were some good tattoos last night.  I liked both Kleen's and Erik's tattoos.  Some of the others had good components but bad overall design.  It's time to step away from the roses.  

 

The canvas jury was a little odd too.  I think I realized what really bothers me about it because it seemed really apparent last night.  You've just gotten a large tattoo and it was done on a TV show; a lot of people will see it.  You're still on half an endorphin buzz.  Then a group of people sits around telling you how much it sucks.  (One of the guys almost looked like he was tearing up when they pointed out the problems in his tattoo.) It's not like you can wash it off.  When you get inked, even if it's not good, typically your friends will say something supportive.  After my sister died, her step daughter got a remembrance tattoo.  To me it looks like a fungal growth on her foot, creeping up her ankle.  Did I tell her that?  No.  Instead I commented on how nice it was to choose to commemorate her step mom and we discussed the symbolism.  I want her to feel good about it, not spend the rest of her life embarrassed and covering it.  These people don't get the chance to enjoy their new ink before a group of people pick it apart.  

 

As to who's a huge jerk on the show, this season in particular they are really trying to amp up the whole drama between the contestants.  They are encouraged to trash talk constantly.  It's tiring to watch.  I'm pretty damn sure Emily is a nasty piece of work, although I do think she chose to really push those traits for notoriety on the show.  Many of the other comments I take with a grain of salt.  It just seems like production wants the smack talking, I'm better - you suck crap, and the contestants foolishly keep delivering it.  This is a good show to DVR so you can skip those parts.  

 

phoenix780, the editing was really wonky.  They kept fitting in these 30 sec scenes that were completely disjointed.  Maybe I should have smoked the evil weed to make it all make a little more sense (or at least give up on trying).  

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The flash challenge was way too long & just seemed a jumbled mess.  Draw a design, let the guest judge pick the best drawing, and then draw another design on the guest judge and then let him decide if he wants that tattoo.

I suspect the plan was originally to just tattoo the best pick, but the guest judge balked. Whether it was during the judging and they re-shot the intro to the challenge, or right from the start (maybe he's seen the show), I don't know, but it seemed like damage-control to have the "winning" artist work more with the canvas to satisfy him before inking.

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I had to laugh when the "badass" canvas turned out to be a little wimpy. Of course, he did better than I would have. There's an episode of TBBT where Howard is getting a tattoo and starts whimpering when the guy rubbed the spot with alcohol. That would have been me except I would have been crying and calling for my mommy.

I really hated to see Cleen win the challenges. Even when he's just sitting around on the couch he's smug. Yes Cleen, you're the best sitter that ever sat in the realm of sitting. Sorry, that was dumb but I would love to give him a smack.

I thought Jason should have gone home. That tattoo was all messed up. What the hell was coming out of it's nose?

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I had to laugh when the "badass" canvas turned out to be a little wimpy. Of course, he did better than I would have. There's an episode of TBBT where Howard is getting a tattoo and starts whimpering when the guy rubbed the spot with alcohol. That would have been me except I would have been crying and calling for my mommy.

I really hated to see Cleen win the challenges. Even when he's just sitting around on the couch he's smug. Yes Cleen, you're the best sitter that ever sat in the realm of sitting. Sorry, that was dumb but I would love to give him a smack.

 

 

No sorries, I thought that was hilarious.

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phoenix780, the editing was really wonky.  They kept fitting in these 30 sec scenes that were completely disjointed.  Maybe I should have smoked the evil weed to make it all make a little more sense (or at least give up on trying).

 

Thanks to you (and others) for validating my experience.  Guess I'll have to wait for DVR next time and just fast-forward so I don't even see crap like that, though they may just be experimenting like they did earlier by showing random tweets.

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A thought popped into my mind last night: what if they bring Josh back in some sort of way toward the finale? Like he "promises" he hasn't been smoking and they give him a chance to complete. I can hear Jason's "That's Bullshit!!" right now.

 

 

Even if Josh's departure wasn't due to possession/ingestion of illegal drugs and contract violation, there's no way they would bring him back this far into the competition.  In addition to throwing off the number of eliminated contestants/number of episodes remaining, it would be a slap in the face to the assholes still competing.

 

I re-watched the three shows leading up to last night's episode, and in Josh's TH segments, he made comments a few times to the effect that after getting cut on his original season, he had taken every precaution possible to make sure there was no way he could possibly be eliminated.  You know, except that smoking dope thing.  There was also one TH of his in particular in which he was rather snotty and nasty about Jason's anxiety and how he (Jason) needed to get over it and learn to deal with it.  Listening to him say that, knowing now that he (Josh) was hitting the Wacky Weed to combat his own anxiety pissed me off all over again.  What a fucking hypocrite.

 

It also pisses me off that it's apparent that Clean Roc One, the King of the DoucheCanoes, is going to walk away with this competition -- although as of late, it seems like the real competition isn't about tattooing so much as it's who's the Most Arrogant, Obnoxious Nutsuck (the title of which CR1 is also running away with, although Erik isn't far behind and is gaining on him).

 

After Josh was booted, those two ass clowns seem to have morphed into Regina George and Heather Chandler (yes, I'm "old") on steroids.  Clean has always been an egotistical prick, but his "my-shit-don't-stink" attitude has been taken to a whole new level that is damned near rage-inducing.  Last season, Scott worked my last nerve to the point that any time his busted mug was onscreen, I wanted to leave the room, but this season's Fucktard-In-Chief makes Scott seem downright likable by comparison.  I'm not one prone to violence, but there are times that I would like nothing more than to pop the pompous jackass right in the mouth and knock those jacked-up teeth right out of his skull.

 

What was amusing last night was seeing how Erik has rapidly puffed up his ego, starting when he, Don, and Aron(?) were on the roof discussing Josh's pot-smoking.  Prior to that, he was (at least IMO) a lot more neutral regarding the other contestants (especially to their faces) along with being a bit more modest about his own accomplishments.  Since then, though?  Now that he's pretty much a lock for a spot in the F2, he's amped up the smarmy arrogance along with the smack-talk about anyone in the house who is Not!Clean!

 

Quite frankly, after watching both of them, there isn't any monetary amount you could name that would entice me to let either of them come within 100 feet of my body with a needle.  While talent and ability are no doubt important WRT tattoos, no way would I trust someone carrying that much negative energy to permanently alter my body.  

 

Also, who the fuck edited last night's show, a Middle School A/V class?  Between the rough transitions, jump cuts, and those goddamned wonky-ass 30-second clip insertions during commercials (on two separate occasions, there were two of those during one commercial break), I was ready to put a brick through my TV.  

 

Lastly, Spike is notorious for insanely long commercial breaks, so I used my stopwatch while watching last night to clock the actual run time of this show.  Out of the 60 minutes scheduled, 22+ of them were devoted strictly to advertising.  If you include the opening/closing credits, scenery porn intros, "coming up" teasers, and previews for next week, it's between 24-25.  IOW, the run time of IM is roughly 35 minutes.  Subtract all of the Bitchery and Whining, and the tattooing aspect of the show is likely around 20 minutes or so.  Fucking absurd.

Edited by OriginalCyn
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but this season's Fucktard-In-Chief

 

 

This?  Brilliant.  My ex may have a new name.

 

Most Arrogant, Obnoxious Nutsuck

 

 

I am officially in tears.

 

I miss Josh.  I'm not invested in the outcome with him gone.  I think he would have kicked ass on this challenge.  I would have loved to see him hand Cleen his ass.  FWIW, I think Mark should have won the flash challenge.  I liked his drawing much better than Cleen's.  And as much as I like doves I don't see that the dove that was inked on the guest judge was very original (and that seemed to be a big deal with him, which I totally get.)  If there is a fix, it's clearly on with Cleen.

 

I don't understand why the show has a theme for each week when apparently the theme is irrelevant when it comes to judging.  I like Jason okay but if the theme for the week was placement, he should have been severely dinged and probably booted for his tattoo.  Don's placement wasn't an issue and in my mind, that should have saved him.  He wasn't going to win Ink Master with what we've seen but again, why have themes for each week if they mean nothing?  Just go ahead and say we want you to tattoo a skull on some glutton for punishment's head.  Then the judges can debate over whatever issues they want.

 

I pretty much knew Don was going home when the guest judge was told that Don and Erik were the only two rivals left.   Speaking of, at first I thought the guest judge was a little dickish but then I realized no, he's actually giving a realistic critique.  And God bless him for doing his part to push the NFL for Pink in October.  I cannot even imagine a family losing all 5 daughters to breast cancer. 

 

Have I mentioned that I miss Josh?

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I have started watching Best Ink on iTunes. It is far and away better than this show, IMO. Not only becuae the artists seem better in general, but because the computers [< EDIT: WHAT?! "Computers"? I mean "competitors"!] don't live together. I think this may make a big difference in the type of show it ends up being -- a competition show (with a few random seconds of drama here and there as opposed to Big Brother with tattooing. 

 

And, I've been thinking (obsessing about?) the whole "rivals" thing. I feel like the concept would have been better if it were set up so that if one rival is eliminated, so is the other. It would add a dynamic of collaboration between "enemies" working together (and also probably a source of the extra drama that reality-show makers seem to like) and then the end would be a pair of rivals competing against one another.

As for this episode, I wasn't blown away by any of the skulls. The football man seemed very nice though. 

Edited by TattleTeeny
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And as much as I like doves I don't see that the dove that was inked on the guest judge was very original (and that seemed to be a big deal with him, which I totally get.)

It's also weird that D'Angelo Williams picked Cleans tatoo, because when he first saw the drawing he said the dove, and the rendering with the ribbion were unoriginal. I was expecting him to pick Mark, he had much more positive things to say about it. So I'm with those who say the fix is in for Clean, which makes me feel dirty.

Edited by BigBlueMastiff
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BigBlueMastiff, on 20 Nov 2014 - 11:38 AM, said:

It's also weird that D'Angelo Williams picked Cleans tatoo, because when he first saw the drawing he said the dove, and the rendering with the ribbion were unoriginal. I was expecting him to pick Mark, he had much more positive things to say about it. So I'm with those who say the fix is in for Clean, which makes me feel dirty.

 

 

I was floored when he chose Cleen.  He specifically mentioned how Mark was the only one who listened to what he said and incorporated it into his drawing.  It was original and it was one-of-a-kind, specifically for him. 

 

I felt last season that the fix was in for Scott and I was not proven wrong.  I didn't care for Scott but Cleen is aggravating me in ways Scott did not (unless time has rendered Scott nicer in my memory.)  As far as I'm concerned, NONE of the remaining inktestants have much room to be haughty and overly impressed with themselves.  Not one has been consistently awesome or even good.  If Josh hadn't gotten himself kicked off, I don't think Cleen would be nearly as dicktastic (although he would still be a dick.) 

 

I miss Josh.

Edited by psychoticstate
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This episode was pretty average without Josh. I really don't give a fuck who wins, even if it's Cleen, he doesn't rile me up the way he does some other viewers. I get he's an arrogant prick, but I think all competitors who go on this show are to some extent arrogant anyway.

Also, I thought Aarons *skull* was the best. It had great depth and dimension, but the roses were just terrible.

Edited by aussieinsydney
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I liked the cartoony roses in Aaron's tattoo. Their color in the background helped the black-and-white skull pop, and their cartooniness helped accentuate the realism of the skull. It worked for me.

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 I think Aaron is going for a "signature" look with his style of roses. They do contrast nicely with the realistic skull but I don't find them appealing, personally. Oddly enough, I really liked Chris's with the jewels, He was smart use round shapes there and I liked the 3/4 view.  I thought Cleen's was the best overall and to me he's the same as Josh, same level of talent, same level of smugly arrogant.

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One thing I liked about the flash challenge is that everyone had the same assignment and the same canvas. I know we have the human canvas jury for the elimination challenge, but people have different motivations there. Each person wants to think that their tattoo doesn't suck and everyone comes in with their own biases so I don't think it's always the best way to judge. But when there is one client who wants one tattoo on a specific body part and all of the artists have to come up with a design, that really levels the playing field. Those were some really disappointing results though.

 

Since everyone kept saying that Josh couldn't draw, it's too bad that he was eliminated before this freehand flash challenge. I would have loved to have seen what he could create without stencils or tracing.

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