Chit-Chat: The Feels

[kittykat]

1 hour ago, bluegirl147 said:

I wonder if the leopards are hungry yet

 

They're eating daily 10 course meals and still have room for dessert.  Greedy bastards!

[Bliss]

4 hours ago, peacheslatour said:

We need a screaming and pulling our hair out button here. The anger one just doesn't adequately express my feelings  today.

I was thinking we also need a vomit button...

[peacheslatour]

9 minutes ago, Dimity said:

I know I've mentioned before that I've been reading a lot of women's fiction from the mid 20th century as a way to cope.  It's interesting to read books that were written during WWII when obviously the author had no way of knowing how it was going to end.

I am realizing for the first time how that must have felt.  Trying to live some semblance of a normal life, including writing contemporary (at the time) novels without any real idea what was going to happen next.

Right now is then and it's horrible.

I'm still reading Rebecca and I'm going crazy because the new Mrs. De Winter is such a spineless doormat.

[peacheslatour]

[Anela]

7 minutes ago, peacheslatour said:

Ugh.  
 

- - -

Jim Acosta is now on substack, and they have a “live” feature. I didn’t know that. 

https://jimacosta.substack.com/p/hold-on-to-the-truth

that’s a video. 

Edited Tuesday at 10:49 PM by Anela

[Browncoat]

11 minutes ago, peacheslatour said:

Where is that money coming from?

[Eri]

32 minutes ago, Browncoat said:

Does this freeze include federal student loans?  If so, expect a huge wave of college drop outs.  And fewer high schoolers going to college in the first place.  Which will lead to layoffs at all levels of higher education, and more people applying for unemployment benefits.  Add all the federal employees now out of work, and the economy is screwed all the way to hell.

 

We had questions about this at my workplace today also and, no it won't.

Per the U.S. Department of Education -

Quote

"Direct Loans, Pell Grants, and other federal student aid funds that are provided to individual students are not impacted by the Jan. 27, 2025, guidance temporarily pausing federal financial assistance programs. We continue to award and disburse federal student aid.

If educational institutions have enough of a diversified portfolio that includes non-federal grants (local, city/state, foundations, private donors, etc.) then the risk should have a low impact.

Edited Tuesday at 10:57 PM by Eri

[peacheslatour]

What leopards?

 

[Annber03]

1 hour ago, Dimity said:

Just saw some idiot being interviewed who said he thought only Harris voters would get their benefits cut.  First off, what the hell.  But second, while I'm sure Trump would love to do that, exactly how did this idiot think this was actually going to be accomplished?  Things are bad but there not yet at the point where you have to prove you voted for Trump to keep your job or your govt benefits.  Yet.

I truly don't get these people who think that these sorts of decisions only affect certain groups, like they can just pick and choose who gets affected by this policymaking. It has ripple effects for everyone. That's the whole point of setting policy for an entire country. 

To anyone who still wants to defend Trump, the GOP, and any policies they're putting forth? You're an asshole. Plain and simple. There is no debate. I don't want to hear another word of how we just need to "wait and see" what he does or any sort of defense of him and his policies. There is nothing to defend or support here. 

[peacheslatour]

3 minutes ago, Annber03 said:

I truly don't get these people who think that these sorts of decisions only affect certain groups, like they can just pick and choose who gets affected by this policymaking. It has ripple effects for everyone. That's the whole point of setting policy for an entire country. 

To anyone who still wants to defend Trump, the GOP, and any policies they're putting forth? You're an asshole. Plain and simple. There is no debate. I don't want to hear another word of how we just need to "wait and see" what he does or any sort of defense of him and his policies. There is nothing to defend or support here. 

This and I also don't want to hear another god damned word about how we are driving people from our side because we don't try to understand them and their problems. They ARE the fucking problem.

[Annber03]

Regarding teh rounding up of immigrants, here's my take on that - it's awfully hard to insist everyone else be expected to follow the laws when we have a fucking convicted felon who staged an attempted coup in the White House again, and when he's pardoned everyone who was involved in the insurrection attempt on January 6th. If those at the highest levels of government don't have to follow the law, why the hell should anyone else have to? 

I would seriously love to see a lawyer for any of the immigrants being rounded up try that argument in court. I don't know how far it'd go, but I think it'd be a perfectly valid thing to bring up. "You can send my client to prison when Trump goes to prison, too, for his crimes." 

[Dimity]

23 minutes ago, peacheslatour said:

This and I also don't want to hear another god damned word about how we are driving people from our side because we don't try to understand them and their problems. They ARE the fucking problem.

 

31 minutes ago, Annber03 said:

I truly don't get these people who think that these sorts of decisions only affect certain groups, like they can just pick and choose who gets affected by this policymaking. It has ripple effects for everyone. That's the whole point of setting policy for an entire country. 

I didn't think of it at the time but I strongly suspect now that when this guy said "Harris voters" that was code for anyone who is not a white, christian male.

[Annber03]

24 minutes ago, Dimity said:

I didn't think of it at the time but I strongly suspect now that when this guy said "Harris voters" that was code for anyone who is not a white, christian male.

Heh, well, my mom, sister, and I all voted for Harris, and we're not Christian and obviously not male, but we are white, so...

[bluegirl147]

17 minutes ago, Annber03 said:

Heh, well, my mom, sister, and I all voted for Harris, and we're not Christian and obviously not male, but we are white, so...

But that is what they think.  That Democrats are all those "others".  They think white people all think like them.  Especially in red states. I can't tell you how many times complete strangers will start talking about Trump and how wonderful he is assuming I will agree.

Edited Yest. at 12:43 AM by bluegirl147

[tearknee]

11 hours ago, tearknee said:

The GOP: "THE USA! IS! ALL! MIIINE!"

The rest: 

For those who don't get it - that's a screen cap from episode 4 of Tom Baker's last regular Doctor Who story "Logopolis".

The Master: "The CVE is all MIINE!"

[The moment in the screen capture] The Doctor: "Only while that cable *holds*".

[PRgal]

I took part in a discussion hosted by Ruth Whippman (BoyMom: Reimagining Boyhood in the Age of Impossible Masculinity) this afternoon.  One of the women in the chat brought up a good analogy.  Imagine society as a box of crayons.  Say, 64 colours.  While still in utero, you're already down to 32 colours, based on whether you're assigned male or female (forget about non-binary, trans and fluidity for now).  But as each child grows up, the girl is allowed to go beyond her 32 colours and is celebrated for doing so but when a boy crosses the colour line, it's "whoa, wait a minute, you can't do that!"  And doing it will bring him shame.  My mom tried it.  She got my son a pink and purple water bottle for school.  No way in h3ll would he make it through the day if he brought THAT one to school!  But if he were a girl and took Spider-Man?  Well, no one will blink an eye.  Okay, maybe they will, but it's more okay for a girl to take Spider-Man than it is for a boy to take that pink and purple bottle.  I'm using said bottle now. 

[Annber03]

55 minutes ago, bluegirl147 said:

But that is what they think.  That Democrats are all those "others".  They think white people all think like them.  Especially in red states. I can't tell you how many times complete strangers will start talking about Trump and how wonderful he is assuming I will agree.

Oh, yeah, I know - I've been on the receiving end of that kind of thing, too (I think I mentioned once in this thread the time when I worked at our local bookstore and some guy came in and just started going on the most racist rant about Obama and black people right to me, clearly expecting me to agree with his comments. He shut up once I just kinda...stared at him in shock). 

But yeah. It's just amazing that people can be that simple-minded. And the fact that I'm a woman and not Christian already makes for two strikes against me with people like that, so.. 

[bluegirl147]

4 minutes ago, Annber03 said:

 

But yeah. It's just amazing that people can be that simple-minded. And the fact that I'm a woman and not Christian already makes for two strikes against me with people like that, so.. 

Add to that you and I are liberals and I guess it's we hit a home run.

[tearknee]

3 hours ago, Dimity said:

I know I've mentioned before that I've been reading a lot of women's fiction from the mid 20th century as a way to cope.  It's interesting to read books that were written during WWII when obviously the author had no way of knowing how it was going to end.

I am realizing for the first time how that must have felt.  Trying to live some semblance of a normal life, including writing contemporary (at the time) novels without any real idea what was going to happen next.

Right now is then and it's horrible.

Read Lance Mannion's quote on historical fiction and temporal signifiers: about how people in historical fiction don't know that they are living in the past. They think that they are living in the present. And they can't see the future. 

 

46 minutes ago, PRgal said:

I took part in a discussion hosted by Ruth Whippman (BoyMom: Reimagining Boyhood in the Age of Impossible Masculinity) this afternoon.  One of the women in the chat brought up a good analogy.  Imagine society as a box of crayons.  Say, 64 colours.  While still in utero, you're already down to 32 colours, based on whether you're assigned male or female (forget about non-binary, trans and fluidity for now).  But as each child grows up, the girl is allowed to go beyond her 32 colours and is celebrated for doing so but when a boy crosses the colour line, it's "whoa, wait a minute, you can't do that!"  And doing it will bring him shame.  My mom tried it.  She got my son a pink and purple water bottle for school.  No way in h3ll would he make it through the day if he brought THAT one to school!  But if he were a girl and took Spider-Man?  Well, no one will blink an eye.  Okay, maybe they will, but it's more okay for a girl to take Spider-Man than it is for a boy to take that pink and purple bottle.  I'm using said bottle now. 

Yep. You'd give your daughter the name of Ryan ("little king") but not your [assumed het] son the name of Brittany.

46 minutes ago, PRgal said:

I took part in a discussion hosted by Ruth Whippman (BoyMom: Reimagining Boyhood in the Age of Impossible Masculinity) this afternoon.  One of the women in the chat brought up a good analogy.  Imagine society as a box of crayons.  Say, 64 colours.  While still in utero, you're already down to 32 colours, based on whether you're assigned male or female (forget about non-binary, trans and fluidity for now).  But as each child grows up, the girl is allowed to go beyond her 32 colours and is celebrated for doing so but when a boy crosses the colour line, it's "whoa, wait a minute, you can't do that!"  And doing it will bring him shame.  My mom tried it.  She got my son a pink and purple water bottle for school.  No way in h3ll would he make it through the day if he brought THAT one to school!  But if he were a girl and took Spider-Man?  Well, no one will blink an eye.  Okay, maybe they will, but it's more okay for a girl to take Spider-Man than it is for a boy to take that pink and purple bottle.  I'm using said bottle now. 

A Mom [and her daughters] who took photos of her [evidently cis] son when he was an infant - in his sisters' old baby dresses ("Of course, he is now uncomfortable about this but we tell him these photos are of a time in his life when he was happy, and he shouldn't let what others say bother him".

Her son had -- and even today, still would -- every reason to be afraid of a lot more than mean words.

 

Consent goes both ways (as an intimacy coordinator mentioned on her social media - she had to reprimand a female actor for doing the old "eating garlic before a kissing scene" and point out that if the genders had been reversed...).

Edited Yest. at 01:58 AM by tearknee

[Dimity]

54 minutes ago, PRgal said:

I took part in a discussion hosted by Ruth Whippman (BoyMom: Reimagining Boyhood in the Age of Impossible Masculinity) this afternoon.  One of the women in the chat brought up a good analogy.  Imagine society as a box of crayons.  Say, 64 colours.  While still in utero, you're already down to 32 colours, based on whether you're assigned male or female (forget about non-binary, trans and fluidity for now).  But as each child grows up, the girl is allowed to go beyond her 32 colours and is celebrated for doing so but when a boy crosses the colour line, it's "whoa, wait a minute, you can't do that!"  And doing it will bring him shame.  My mom tried it.  She got my son a pink and purple water bottle for school.  No way in h3ll would he make it through the day if he brought THAT one to school!  But if he were a girl and took Spider-Man?  Well, no one will blink an eye.  Okay, maybe they will, but it's more okay for a girl to take Spider-Man than it is for a boy to take that pink and purple bottle.  I'm using said bottle now. 

She is making this sound like it's something new.  It isn't.  Girls have always been able to get away with being tomboyish while boys were not given 'permission' to be feminine.  Guess why?   Girls can aspire to be boyish because that's considered the most desirable gender.  Boys wanting to be feminine are trading down and settling for less. 

If anything IMO anyway things are much better now.  Frankly, I know a lot of parents who have encouraged, if not downright insisted, on giving their sons a Barbie while refusing to even consider letting their daughter wear pink or take ballet.

Edited Yest. at 02:06 AM by Dimity

[PRgal]

3 minutes ago, Dimity said:

She is making this sound like it's something new.  It isn't.  Girls have always been able to get away with being tomboyish while boys were not given 'permission' to be feminine.  Guess why?   Girls can aspire to be boyish because that's considered the most desirable gender.  Boys wanting to be feminine are trading down and settling for less. 

If anything IMO anyway things are much better now.  Frankly, I know a lot of parents who have encourage, if not downright insisted, on giving their sons a Barbie while refusing to even consider letting their daughter wear pink or take ballet.

I’m not.  It was like that when I was younger too.  But the colour spectrum for girls has expanded even more since the 80s while it’s remained fairly constant for boys.  What the group of almost all women save for one guy (and it was refreshing to have that one “real” voice) came to the conclusion on was (and validated by the lone male) that boys are itching to get out but can’t because they fear judgement and shame.  We have to erase that shame just as we are (slowly but surely..sort of) for women and girls.  And no amount of shaming me on this board (and trust me, I get a lot) is going to stop me from feeling this way.  

[Lantern7]

Here’s some good news: Gov. DeSantis is getting defied by his own party.

[chitowngirl]

My opinion only-all of this money that is now not going to where it is supposed to go is just going to…disappear. You can form your own conclusions as to where. Removing my tinfoil hat now

[peacheslatour]

44 minutes ago, PRgal said:

I’m not.  It was like that when I was younger too.  But the colour spectrum for girls has expanded even more since the 80s while it’s remained fairly constant for boys.  What the group of almost all women save for one guy (and it was refreshing to have that one “real” voice) came to the conclusion on was (and validated by the lone male) that boys are itching to get out but can’t because they fear judgement and shame.  We have to erase that shame just as we are (slowly but surely..sort of) for women and girls.  And no amount of shaming me on this board (and trust me, I get a lot) is going to stop me from feeling this way.  

I love you but don't care so much about what other people think. 

[Anela]

51 minutes ago, PRgal said:

I’m not.  It was like that when I was younger too.  But the colour spectrum for girls has expanded even more since the 80s while it’s remained fairly constant for boys.  What the group of almost all women save for one guy (and it was refreshing to have that one “real” voice) came to the conclusion on was (and validated by the lone male) that boys are itching to get out but can’t because they fear judgement and shame.  We have to erase that shame just as we are (slowly but surely..sort of) for women and girls.  And no amount of shaming me on this board (and trust me, I get a lot) is going to stop me from feeling this way.  

I dropped out of school, because of extensive bullying, that left me almost mute.  I became agoraphobic, and felt like I shouldn’t be outside.  I didn’t want to be, also, because  I was scared. All kinds of judgement and shame, because I wasn’t pretty enough, for starters. 

it used to be that some people would listen when I spoke up, because I hardly ever did, so when I did, it was considered important.  Unlike the men who just go on and on, and aren’t shamed for it. Now I’m shamed a lot, for not being quiet, for taking up more space than I used to.

I feel like we get just as much of it, but then girls and women are called “catty” and worse than boys/men.  

Last year, I had an ASMR video recommended to me. In the comments was a guy who has been in and out of my life for years. He was there, along with other adoring male fans, falling in love with a woman who was “in her feminine energy” playing a role, and not being a real person. She not only had people tipping her, she had them sending her money, just because she exists.  A couple of years ago, he contacted me, when I was just *gone*, really distraught and lost, and he offered to be there for me, but I couldn’t deal with anyone.  He admitted that he’d been a bit scared of me, which would have bothered me when I was younger, but now I don’t mind.  

I’ve just seen peaches’ response, and I ❤️ you too.  I really like you. I can’t say that about a lot of people, anymore. 

Edited Yest. at 03:00 AM by Anela
I’m always making fracking typos

[Dimity]

51 minutes ago, PRgal said:

 And no amount of shaming me on this board (and trust me, I get a lot) is going to stop me from feeling this way.  

I for one am not shaming you.  I am disagreeing with you.

[mostlylurking]

1 hour ago, Dimity said:

Girls can aspire to be boyish because that's considered the most desirable gender.  Boys wanting to be feminine are trading down and settling for less. 

This is so interesting!  I’ve honestly never thought about it in that way.  But it makes SO much sense.  Of course, act like a man that’s totally fine.  Act like a woman, ugh, no way!

I have a daughter who is basically into everything.  She’s 7.  She loves pink and “girly” things.  She loves sports and trains.  I just try to encourage her to try and do everything.  I’m excited to see who she becomes. 

[Lantern7]

Watching The Daily Show. I see that Trump still believes that press secretaries are there to belittle the previous administration. Hey, at least she didn't lie about the crowds that attended the inauguration . . . or the crowds that would have attended had he not moved those indoors like the shysty so-and-so that he is.

Speaking of press secretaries . . . .has Sarah Huckabee Sanders said or done anything ignorant in the past two weeks? She's second-gen annoying. I think her dream in life is to open a comedy club with her father. They'd call it "Chucklebees." He'd spend an hour on material that would make Cliff Claven look like a Def Jam comedian, she'd spend the next two hours telling the audiences that he was indeed funny.

Edited Yest. at 04:32 AM by Lantern7

[Yeah No]

5 hours ago, Dimity said:

She is making this sound like it's something new.  It isn't.  Girls have always been able to get away with being tomboyish while boys were not given 'permission' to be feminine.  Guess why?   Girls can aspire to be boyish because that's considered the most desirable gender.  Boys wanting to be feminine are trading down and settling for less. 

If anything IMO anyway things are much better now.  Frankly, I know a lot of parents who have encouraged, if not downright insisted, on giving their sons a Barbie while refusing to even consider letting their daughter wear pink or take ballet.

I got away with being a tomboy 55-60 years ago but it wasn't really socially acceptable, at least not in the Bronx in a mostly Jewish neighborhood. Girls thought you were strange for wanting to play with "boys toys" and not sit around with doll carriages playing housewife like they did. When you wanted to play sports with the boys, they wouldn't let you. I had one good friend who was also a tomboy or I don't know what I would have done. It was still rough for both of us because we were different. I also had being ethnically and religiously different from most of the neighborhood to add to the problem. But back then a girl wearing jeans, her hair short, and playing with Tonka trucks and baseball mitts was just not done and not really accepted.

My mother was as progressive that way as it could get. She encouraged me to wear what I wanted to wear and play with the toys I wanted to play with and not to care about what others thought, but try telling that to a single digit kid who is feeling shunned and ostracized for being "different". It doesn't really matter what shape that "different" takes, it's just being different that is not acceptable. I really think that today people are far more accepting of girls playing sports and dressing the way they want to dress than when I was in the single digits. No one would bat an eye today. Back then, not so much. They wouldn't hate you but they wouldn't love you either.

Interestingly, when I reached puberty my entire outlook changed and I suddenly wanted to look and act like a "girl". Not that I suddenly decided to reject everything tomboyish about me in order to fit in, no, not at all. I just felt more comfortable looking and acting more feminine than I did before puberty. I still wanted to play sports and loved certain things that were traditionally male to love, like cars. And in the '70s and '80s when the "menswear look" was in for women, I incorporated it into my wardrobe. I definitely noticed that by that time people's attitudes had loosened up a little more. Things really changed a lot in the '70s and '80s about stuff like that. So it has been gradually improving over time, I think.

Also, girls can get away with being tomboyish not only because it's the preferred gender, but because if boys tried to be more feminine people's homophobia would kick in. There is far more social stigma against being a male homosexual than a female one and that makes it far less acceptable for boys to be able to freely walk around in more feminine attire and engage in more traditionally feminine activities without feeling judgment or being called homosexual. There is still far more hatred for anything that might be interpreted as "homosexual" if it's being done by a man. 

[Yeah No]

5 hours ago, peacheslatour said:

I love you but don't care so much about what other people think. 

God bless my mom for not caring what other people thought, but as a kid, I did. What kid wouldn't be crushed by not being accepted by the peer group for being "different"? And yet in retrospect I really wouldn't have had it any other way. If my mother had not let me be me or judged me for wanting to be that way, that would have been a different kind of crushing, and maybe even worse.

But let's say I was a boy and my mother had encouraged me to wear pink and play with dolls. Back then I think people wouldn't have just thought I was odd but would have been offended by it like it and openly shamed me and called me names for it. It is still far less acceptable for a boy to display aspects of femininity than a woman displaying masculinity in any form, but as I have said before, it's not just because being traditionally male is more highly valued, but because homophobia is much worse toward anything that seems "gay male" than anything that seems "gay female".

[tearknee]

1 hour ago, Yeah No said:

I got away with being a tomboy 55-60 years ago but it wasn't really socially acceptable, at least not in the Bronx in a mostly Jewish neighborhood. Girls thought you were strange for wanting to play with "boys toys" and not sit around with doll carriages playing housewife like they did. When you wanted to play sports with the boys, they wouldn't let you. I had one good friend who was also a tomboy or I don't know what I would have done. It was still rough for both of us because we were different. I also had being ethnically and religiously different from most of the neighborhood to add to the problem. But back then a girl wearing jeans, her hair short, and playing with Tonka trucks and baseball mitts was just not done and not really accepted.

My mother was as progressive that way as it could get. She encouraged me to wear what I wanted to wear and play with the toys I wanted to play with and not to care about what others thought, but try telling that to a single digit kid who is feeling shunned and ostracized for being "different". It doesn't really matter what shape that "different" takes, it's just being different that is not acceptable. I really think that today people are far more accepting of girls playing sports and dressing the way they want to dress than when I was in the single digits. No one would bat an eye today. Back then, not so much. They wouldn't hate you but they wouldn't love you either.

Interestingly, when I reached puberty my entire outlook changed and I suddenly wanted to look and act like a "girl". Not that I suddenly decided to reject everything tomboyish about me in order to fit in, no, not at all. I just felt more comfortable looking and acting more feminine than I did before puberty. I still wanted to play sports and loved certain things that were traditionally male to love, like cars. And in the '70s and '80s when the "menswear look" was in for women, I incorporated it into my wardrobe. I definitely noticed that by that time people's attitudes had loosened up a little more. Things really changed a lot in the '70s and '80s about stuff like that. So it has been gradually improving over time, I think.

Also, girls can get away with being tomboyish not only because it's the preferred gender, but because if boys tried to be more feminine people's homophobia would kick in. There is far more social stigma against being a male homosexual than a female one and that makes it far less acceptable for boys to be able to freely walk around in more feminine attire and engage in more traditionally feminine activities without feeling judgment or being called homosexual. There is still far more hatred for anything that might be interpreted as "homosexual" if it's being done by a man. 

That was my point about that woman and her daughters - even if they thought doing that to their infant son was "funny" = at best it was actually disrespect and dislike of their own child and sibling purely because of the gender and at worst, gleeful sadism-- as they knew perfectly well how he would feel if not a helpless infant -- and as i noted, the mom told a parenting web forum back in the day that she and his sisters refused to accept it when he did express his discomfort a few years later -- and told him not to be bothered -- but as i said, he would have every reason to be afraid of not just being told mean things.

 

[BetyBee]

11 hours ago, bluegirl147 said:

But that is what they think.  That Democrats are all those "others".  They think white people all think like them.  Especially in red states. I can't tell you how many times complete strangers will start talking about Trump and how wonderful he is assuming I will agree.

Hating liberals has been carefully taught for many years by Rush Limbaugh, Fox News, "conservative" Republicans, various radio shows and podcasts and Evangelical churches. This will end our democracy and result in leopards eating their faces as well as the faces of the liberals they hate. But they are so used to excusing the inexcusable because they embrace their hate so lovingly, that they just don't see the inevitable result. 

[fastiller]

12 hours ago, bluegirl147 said:

But that is what they think.  That Democrats are all those "others".  They think white people all think like them.  Especially in red states. I can't tell you how many times complete strangers will start talking about Trump and how wonderful he is assuming I will agree.

Same with racism.  I'm white; can't count the number of times another white person has used racist language around me thinking I'd nod & agree.  Boy were they surprised when I'd reply "oh, you mean Black people, like my cousins? or was it my goddaughter you're thinking of? or possibly my fiancé?"

[Ohiopirate02]

9 hours ago, Lantern7 said:

Speaking of press secretaries . . . .has Sarah Huckabee Sanders said or done anything ignorant in the past two weeks? She's second-gen annoying. I think her dream in life is to open a comedy club with her father. They'd call it "Chucklebees." He'd spend an hour on material that would make Cliff Claven look like a Def Jam comedian, she'd spend the next two hours telling the audiences that he was indeed funny.

I still cannot believe she is the governor of Arkansas. I'm sure she is still saying and doing ignorant things, but I do not live in Arkansas to know.

[Dimity]

3 minutes ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

I still cannot believe she is the governor of Arkansas. I'm sure she is still saying and doing ignorant things, but I do not live in Arkansas to know.

I guess it's not just mediocre white men who fail upward, sometimes it's white women too.

[bluegirl147]

20 minutes ago, fastiller said:

Same with racism.  I'm white; can't count the number of times another white person has used racist language around me thinking I'd nod & agree.  Boy were they surprised when I'd reply "oh, you mean Black people, like my cousins? or was it my goddaughter you're thinking of? or possibly my fiancé?"

Years ago my former boss said the n word with an a at the end.  He knew I'm a mother of a biracial son.  He was in a different room when he said it but I heard him.  I yelled out I can't believe you just said that.  He spent the rest of the day apologizing.   There are two apartments above my office and one of the tenants is an older white woman. She came in to pay her rent and randomly said the n word in describing something.   I calmly told her please do not use that word.  She wasn't expecting me to say that and was flustered. She said I didn't mean anything by it and quickly left. During my lifetime this happened a lot.  And a lot of times people get defensive and say they aren't racist.   If you say that word and you aren't racist you are still comfortable enough with racism that you feel comfortable saying it.

10 minutes ago, Dimity said:

I guess it's not just mediocre white men who fail upward, sometimes it's white women too.

Kristi Noem.  MTG.  Boebert.  Nancy Mace.  Elise Stefanik.  

15 minutes ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

I still cannot believe she is the governor of Arkansas. I'm sure she is still saying and doing ignorant things, but I do not live in Arkansas to know.

Nepo baby.  If not for her dad she wouldn't have even been hired as Trump's press secretary. And I know I shouldn't comment on her looks but all I will say is the ugliness on her inside made it's way to her outside.

Edited 16 hours ago by bluegirl147

[PRgal]

My dad calls himself open minded but still thinks marriage is between a man and a woman, despite having worked with openly gay people.  I told him that one of my son’s BFFs has two dads and that saying this in front of my son may make him repeat it to said friend.  Dad is 77 years old and I think it’s hard for him to get used to equal marriage.  Kind of like it’s hard for me to understand the pronoun thing (I don’t use it in my signature).  There, I admitted it.  There are other things my parents believe in that won’t sit well in even centre-right polite society today.  

[bluegirl147]

10 minutes ago, PRgal said:

My dad calls himself open minded but still thinks marriage is between a man and a woman, despite having worked with openly gay people.  I told him that one of my son’s BFFs has two dads and that saying this in front of my son may make him repeat it to said friend.  Dad is 77 years old and I think it’s hard for him to get used to equal marriage.  Kind of like it’s hard for me to understand the pronoun thing (I don’t use it in my signature).  There, I admitted it.  There are other things my parents believe in that won’t sit well in even centre-right polite society today.  

People can feel and believe whatever they want but you are right about your son perhaps hearing something and repeating it.  This is why I think people need called out for things that are bigoted/racist.  Doesn't have to be confrontational but people need to know what they believe is offensive and hurtful to other people. Sometimes you can change someone for the better.

[PRgal]

8 minutes ago, bluegirl147 said:

People can feel and believe whatever they want but you are right about your son perhaps hearing something and repeating it.  This is why I think people need called out for things that are bigoted/racist.  Doesn't have to be confrontational but people need to know what they believe is offensive and hurtful to other people. Sometimes you can change someone for the better.

I did.  My dad’s comment?  “That’ll just confuse him.”  Huh?  He’d get hurt MORE if he tells his friend that said friend’s dads can’t/shouldn’t be married/together. 
 

also:

Has anyone seen this yet?

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DFZIz98AsYS/?igsh=MTZmdWo4d29idG1rZw==

Edited 15 hours ago by PRgal

[Notabug]

5 minutes ago, PRgal said:

I did.  My dad’s comment?  “That’ll just confuse him.”  Huh?  He’d get hurt MORE if he tells his friend that said friend’s dads can’t/shouldn’t be married/together. 

I think you could tell your dad that your son is even more confused as to why his grandfather says such terrible things about his good friend's family.  That it is hurtful to him to think his grandpa doesn't approve of his friend's parents.

[Yeah No]

5 hours ago, tearknee said:

That was my point about that woman and her daughters - even if they thought doing that to their infant son was "funny" = at best it was actually disrespect and dislike of their own child and sibling purely because of the gender and at worst, gleeful sadism-- as they knew perfectly well how he would feel if not a helpless infant -- and as i noted, the mom told a parenting web forum back in the day that she and his sisters refused to accept it when he did express his discomfort a few years later -- and told him not to be bothered -- but as i said, he would have every reason to be afraid of not just being told mean things.

 

That's another thing - a boy embracing feminine things back when I was a kid and even today might open him up to worse than just hate and ridicule, especially from other boys, but bullying and getting beat up or worse. That extreme hatred never existed toward female tomboys.

It's a tough decision to make whether the risk of that is worth taking. I wouldn't want to be a child or a parent today and have to make it.

[PRgal]

14 minutes ago, Notabug said:

I think you could tell your dad that your son is even more confused as to why his grandfather says such terrible things about his good friend's family.  That it is hurtful to him to think his grandpa doesn't approve of his friend's parents.

I've tried.  I think my dad gets it now, but who knows whether he'll remember?  I think my OWN grandmother's shame on her lack of education (this is my dad's mom.  My dad is unsure whether it's because of war or because she was a concubine's child.  It's not because she's female since her older (half) sister has two degrees.  Middle class girls, at least middle class daughters of main wives would have gone to high school in 1930s China.  My great-grandfather was a journalist).  I looked up when Japan invaded China and it was in 1937.  This means my grandmother was 10 or 11.  She would have finished Grade 4, maybe 5.  I think her sister barely graduated from high school and only got her degrees AFTER the war.  But without an elementary education, my grandmother wouldn't have been able to do that.  After the war, she got married and had kids.  No time to go to night school to even finish elementary school, let alone go to high school!

[Dimity]

6 minutes ago, DrSpaceman73 said:

But I've decided it's very low on my list of concerns, there are much bigger issues to be confronted and hassling some people over what they call themselves is certainly not worth our time or effort right now. 

 

[Yeah No]

40 minutes ago, Dimity said:

 

The mental health professionals tried to warn them:

https://www.psychopac.org/225-psychiatrists/

If that link doesn't work, try this one:

https://www.ispot.tv/ad/fNWj/anti-psychopath-pac-inc-malignant-narcissism

Edited 13 hours ago by Yeah No

[Dimity]

A young friend of mine linked to an article from a site I don't recognize that claims a teacher in Texas has invited ICE agents to come in to the school because he/she (not sure) has "lots of students who don't speak English".  I am hoping this is someone making things up based on what they are afraid might happen not what is actually happening.  Is this something anyone else has heard about?

[Ohiopirate02]

2 minutes ago, Dimity said:

A young friend of mine linked to an article from a site I don't recognize that claims a teacher in Texas has invited ICE agents to come in to the school because he/she (not sure) has "lots of students who don't speak English".  I am hoping this is someone making things up based on what they are afraid might happen not what is actually happening.  Is this something anyone else has heard about?

Nope, this did happen in Fort Worth, Texas.

https://www.cbsnews.com/texas/news/fort-worth-isd-investigating-social-media-comment-calling-for-ice-at-high-school/

[partofme]

2 minutes ago, Dimity said:

A young friend of mine linked to an article from a site I don't recognize that claims a teacher in Texas has invited ICE agents to come in to the school because he/she (not sure) has "lots of students who don't speak English".  I am hoping this is someone making things up based on what they are afraid might happen not what is actually happening.  Is this something anyone else has heard about?

I read about this on Huffington Post but I can’t currently find the article.   It’s very sad but I’ve learned since the election that there are a lot of really bad people in this country.  

[DrSpaceman73]

2 minutes ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

Nope, this did happen in Fort Worth, Texas.

https://www.cbsnews.com/texas/news/fort-worth-isd-investigating-social-media-comment-calling-for-ice-at-high-school/

So took a werk and a half. Already have americans calling on the government to have federal forces take away neighbors. 

[PRgal]

27 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

That's another thing - a boy embracing feminine things back when I was a kid and even today might open him up to worse than just hate and ridicule, especially from other boys, but bullying and getting beat up or worse. That extreme hatred never existed toward female tomboys.

It's a tough decision to make whether the risk of that is worth taking. I wouldn't want to be a child or a parent today and have to make it.

I think I need to ask my husband to stop talking negatively about Barbie and My Little Pony when speaking with my son (other than "I didn't like playing with Barbie/My Little Pony when I was little" or something like that).  He jokes about it when they're deciding what to watch, for example (e.g. "Let's watch the Barbie movie!"  TBH, the Barbie movie that came out in 2023 was not really a kid's movie anyway).  I have to admit that I didn't really think much of it until more recently when I started seriously following Ruth Whippman's Substack.  I even became a paid subscriber!

[Ohiopirate02]

Just now, DrSpaceman73 said:

So took a werk and a half. Already have americans calling on the government to have federal forces take away neighbors. 

Because the students speak a language other than the one the substitute teacher speaks. Something that is perfectly legal to do since American has never had an official language nor has any state passed a law saying there is one single official language for the state.