S17.E21: Climbing Down From Decision Day

[Yeah No]

3 hours ago, Gator Stud said:

I think the exact words were, "Austin vapes ALOT".  Thats a lowkey way of calling someone a pothead.  She pretends like she doesn't care, but she does care, or she would not have outed him. "I dont really care about this except I am making a bid deal about this".  She is not really fooling anybody.  

I've already said this a few times and cited an old boyfriend as an example, but you don't have to be against pot in general to not like being with a partner that does it to excess and that's the impression I'm getting from Becca.  Although like others here I do think she might not have been so down on it if he was really that into her. 

Just as I am not against responsible alcohol consumption but not for drinking to excess on a regular basis, I'm also not against pot smoking in general but wouldn't want to be married to someone that did it to excess all the time.  Emily has been criticized harshly for her excessive drinking and you never defended her for that but somehow you defend Austin for his excessive pot smoking?  Just because with pot you get a mellow high that doesn't make you swing from a chandelier doesn't mean someone might not like being with a person that smokes so much they're unmotivated and lethargic most of the time.  I think that was Becca's problem, not the smoking itself.

3 hours ago, Gator Stud said:

We are not stupid.  She lives in freaking Colorado.  She knows exactly what that smell is?

Whenever anyone brings up Austin and the pot vaping I hear the song "Rocky Mountain High" in my head, LOL.  

[Quiet1]

That's the problem with Becca and I can't trust her. She knew (according to her, still haven't heard Austin's side of the story, so I'll wait for that myself) that Austin vaped a lot and lied about it and other things, yet she still wanted him. So she's saying that she wants to spend the rest of her life with a guy who vapes a lot and lies. All of that happened before she said yes to continue on. She didn't have a problem with it. 

Now that she's finally opened her eyes and sees what we all have plainly seen, that Austin doesn't want her, she has a problem with it and wants to expose anything that she thinks will hurt him. 

[Lisa418722]

9 hours ago, Kimboweena said:

I heard something early on about the bride changing her mind about the whole "married at first sight" thing before she even saw Michael.  So I didn't think she backed out because of his appearance.  Don't remember the source, if it was mentioned on the show itself. Does anyone else remember this?

I think she was at the bachelorette party.  Maybe she met the other brides and decided she couldn't go through with the "married at first sight" if they were the other brides.  I would love to hear her side of the story.  

[Chatty Cake]

10 hours ago, Kimboweena said:

I heard something early on about the bride changing her mind about the whole "married at first sight" thing before she even saw Michael.  So I didn't think she backed out because of his appearance.  Don't remember the source, if it was mentioned on the show itself. Does anyone else remember this?

It’s possible but why let it get as far as the wedding itself? I would like to hear her side.

[Chatty Cake]

1 hour ago, Quiet1 said:

That's the problem with Becca and I can't trust her. She knew (according to her, still haven't heard Austin's side of the story, so I'll wait for that myself) that Austin vaped a lot and lied about it and other things, yet she still wanted him. So she's saying that she wants to spend the rest of her life with a guy who vapes a lot and lies. All of that happened before she said yes to continue on. She didn't have a problem with it. 

Now that she's finally opened her eyes and sees what we all have plainly seen, that Austin doesn't want her, she has a problem with it and wants to expose anything that she thinks will hurt him. 

There were many times Becca gave a sneaky smirk that showed she wasn’t being authentic as she would say. She was the gaslighter in the relationship. She was punishing him for not being attracted to her.

[seacliffsal]

Well, I think the show will never go back to Denver.  All of these participants are wildly disappointing IMO.  I think they all buy-in to the idea of just keep lying-defend your lies to the bitter end.  They also all try to blame the other person.  And, it's all psycho-babble when they do the 'fake' I take responsibility as in 'I have learned to trust myself more...trust my gut more...etc.'  That is not taking responsibility and learning from this experience.  It's building oneself up-I DO know better than others and I am right in my assumptions about others...

They point out the bad behavior of those they deem the 'enemy' as when all the women ganged up during the pizza party and made accusations against Austin (and the men in general), but don't acknowledge their own bad behaviors.  Where is the 'well, he did this, but I did that...'?  They all seemed to try the self-righteous argument of 'I didn't deserve this' without acknowledging that maybe, just maybe, they could have made some compromises or may to blame for the relationships going up in flames.  I do give credit to both Austin and Becca for admitting that they could have done better.  But, in general, there was a lot of jumping on the bandwagon of how wronged they were by the others.

[Retired at last]

I guess I am in the minority, but I believe that Becca was just citing an example of when Austin has lied. I don't think she cared about the vaping, but she does not want to be lied to - and who can blame her for that? Also, considering what this board "experts" on vaping have written, it is just stupid for him to lie about that if she could smell it.

I STILL am totally confused as to what she loves so much about him and how she keeps going back and forth on her decision. This waffling HAS to be producer driven, since she is the only one they could manipulate.

[Gator Stud]

7 hours ago, Yeah No said:

Emily has been criticized harshly for her excessive drinking and you never defended her for that but somehow you defend Austin for his excessive pot smoking? 

I actually SAW Emily getting lit up.  I didnt know that Austin smoked weed until innocent Becca outed him.  Becca characterized Austin's vaping as excessive, but she never said what that meant to her. Why would I defend Austin over something that I dont know is true and is undefined? I guess what really irks me that that people keep pretending that weed is dangerous but alcohol is not, like someone smoking is like some bad guy.  When it really was the government lying to its citizens about the risk and dangers?  Why is Austin a bad man just because he smokes weed?

[Gator Stud]

7 hours ago, Yeah No said:

Just because with pot you get a mellow high that doesn't make you swing from a chandelier doesn't mean someone might not like being with a person that smokes so much they're unmotivated and lethargic most of the time.  I think that was Becca's problem, not the smoking itself.

I assume Austin has a decent job and doesnt sit on the couch all day with his vape?  Obama smoked weed, so did Bush II and Bill Clinton.  I'm not saying these people were brilliant, but they did accomplish something. I think the issue is that government brainwashed people with propaganda so that many think that if someone smokes weed, they are lazy and unproductive.  But that would be like calling someone who has a glass of wine a few times a week a lazy alcoholics.  There are alcoholics and potheads, but most who drink or smoke are not.

[Starlight925]

Just watched this, and the AfterParty, last night.

Weed was never mentioned.  All the discussion about weed is on this board alone.  

What WAS mentioned was vaping.

Becca didn't mind Austin vaping.  She minded that he lied about it.

She knew he vaped.  She said he'd go in the bathroom and vape, and she'd ask if he was vaping, and he'd lie and say no.

He also lied about having been with a producer, when I don't believe anything really happened.

Something tells me he just has a pattern of lying.

This isn't about vaping or a producer.

It's about why does Austin feel the need to lie about seemingly insignificant things?

Maybe he's afraid that no matter what he says, Becca will jump down his throat, start her crying routine, cry about not being "seen", cry about being gaslit, whatev.

We do know, from the AP, that Becca pulled out parts of texts to make her point, whilst Cam threatened to pull full texts.

Two things can be true: 

    Becca can be a pain in the ass, and Austin can be a liar.

Edited March 18 by Starlight925

[Yeah No]

7 minutes ago, Gator Stud said:

I assume Austin has a decent job and doesnt sit on the couch all day with his vape?  Obama smoked weed, so did Bush II and Bill Clinton.  I'm not saying these people were brilliant, but they did accomplish something. I think the issue is that government brainwashed people with propaganda so that many think that if someone smokes weed, they are lazy and unproductive.  But that would be like calling someone who has a glass of wine a few times a week a lazy alcoholics.  There are alcoholics and potheads, but most who drink or smoke are not.

I think the point Becca was implying there was that he was not in that medium category of user but perhaps in the excessive category just as Emily probably drinks to excess, although in her case she does seem to hold down a responsible job from what little I've read online.  We really know even less about what Austin does and how productive he is and as a result I don't assume he is like Emily in that regard, plus Brennan never said that about her.  Becca's comment made me think perhaps Austin is not that productive in general.  We certainly can assume that SHE is based on what we see of her career online, of which there's lots of evidence (and I don't agree with those that still think she's lazy).  And Austin doesn't look that energetic or productive to me, although looks can be deceiving.  

Edited March 18 by Yeah No

[Gator Stud]

4 minutes ago, Starlight925 said:

Weed was never mentioned.  All the discussion about weed is on this board alone.  

What WAS mentioned was vaping.

Becca didn't mind Austin vaping.  She minded that he lied about it.

She knew he vaped.  She said he'd go in the bathroom and vape, and she'd ask if he was vaping, and he'd lie and say no.

So you are being coy too?  Everybody knows what she meant.  His eyes are like hazy at night. Ask yourself this, why did Becca keep asking Austin if he was vaping, when she already knew that answer to the question? Yet she said she didnt care.  Ok......  I would prefer for her to treat the viewers as thinking human beings who understand logic.

11 minutes ago, Starlight925 said:

    Becca can be a pain in the ass, and Austin can be a liar.

If he lied about something so innocent (vaping, hanging out in a group with the producer), what does that tell you about Becca?  It means if he told her the truth she would make things unpleasant for him.  Or else why lie over benign things?  And you really believe Becca when she said vaping doesn't bother her. She is sober.

[Starlight925]

28 minutes ago, Gator Stud said:

So you are being coy too?  Everybody knows what she meant.  His eyes are like hazy at night. Ask yourself this, why did Becca keep asking Austin if he was vaping, when she already knew that answer to the question? Yet she said she didnt care.  Ok......  I would prefer for her to treat the viewers as thinking human beings who understand logic.

If he lied about something so innocent (vaping, hanging out in a group with the producer), what does that tell you about Becca?  It means if he told her the truth she would make things unpleasant for him.  Or else why lie over benign things?  And you really believe Becca when she said vaping doesn't bother her. She is sober.

 

LOL how am I being coy?

I'm simply stating what she said.  I'm going by her actual words.   I'm not trying to infer what she meant.

It's the same as those who say she "must smell".  No one here knows how she smells, or what she thinks.

Her words were, that she's ok with his vaping, but not with lying.

As I said, for some reason, he feels the need to hide things.  Vaping, producer, etc.  He may very well not want to deal with her impending bout of crying.  We don't know.

I'm moving on to the crazy show that is Chloe and Michael.  Whew.  

Dr. Pia hit the nail on the head when she said to Chloe that her responses seem curated.  Us too, Pia, us too.

 

Edited March 18 by Starlight925

[Empress1]

On 3/17/2024 at 2:47 PM, Chatty Cake said:

Brennan had closure during the relationship. His friend should not tell him he needs to see drunk ass Emily ever again. The guy was pretty much tortured by her!

Yes. That cinematic “everyone says everything they need to say” thing is overrated (and they also did that anyway). You give yourself closure. There’s no reason for them to keep talking - they’re not friends. This is why I was like “?” when Emily was bitching that their exes hadn’t texted them. Y’all broke up! Texted them to say what? Say it at the reunion y’all are likely contractually obligated to attend.

I agree with whoever said that the women seem really invested in the men being at fault/the villains, when at the end of the day, these were just incompatible couples. Somebody wasn’t into somebody. Happens every day. (I personally would rather hang out with the men than the women, with Lauren being the exception. Emily’s relationship with alcohol is troubling and both she and Clare have nasty sides, and Becca is whinier than I prefer, though maybe she’s less whiny in a different situations. Chloe seems nice enough but I agree that all her responses sound curated.)

Edited March 18 by Empress1
Fixing punctuation

[ByTor]

1 hour ago, Gator Stud said:

If he lied about something so innocent (vaping, hanging out in a group with the producer), what does that tell you about Becca? 

That she got matched with a liar.

[Hip-to-be-Square]

45 minutes ago, Empress1 said:

Yes. That cinematic “everyone says everything they need to say” thing is overrated (and they also did that anyway). You give yourself closure. There’s no reason for them to keep talking - they’re not friends. This is why I was like “?” when Emily was bitching that their exes hadn’t texted them. Y’all broke up! Texted them to say what? Say it at the reunion y’all are likely contractually obligated to attend.

Yes 😄🙌💯! Breakups and divorces aren't wrapped up and tied in a pretty bow.  You make your own closure! These stupid girls are so middle school, "Why aren't our exes texting us 🥴?!" Because they're fucking done- the marriages were dead on arrival as soon as these guys saw your faces at the end of the aisle! Block the numbers, don't stay friends (you were never friends), get proper bra fittings, up the self-care routines and exercise! Move on! Look at Lauren playing archery with Orion- no way in hell would I ever be friends with an ex.  These guys aren't catches either- there are plenty of them on the apps. This show is so frustrating to watch- I had peace in my life before I found it again 😅!

Edited March 18 by Hip-to-be-Square

[Hip-to-be-Square]

   I finally figured out what Chloe reminds me of- that annoying show called Gilmore Girls! She talks in a very unnatural, wordy way and tries to sound super smart. 

Edited March 18 by Hip-to-be-Square

[Empress1]

17 minutes ago, Hip-to-be-Square said:

no way in hell would I ever be friends with an ex. 

I might, depending on the situation, but for these people, who clearly don’t like each other at all? Brennan doesn’t like or respect Emily as a person, and it doesn’t seem like he ever has. I don’t know what all went down between Clare and Cameron but Cameron seems to hate her now. Why would they be friends? For what?

Also you can be done with someone and not be their enemy. You can just be done. We tried, it didn’t work, they’re somebody I used to know. That’s fine.

… Unless what they want is for the men to grovel, which is not the same as friendship and a disingenuous thing to want.

[princelina]

13 hours ago, Gator Stud said:

We are not stupid.  She lives in freaking Colorado.  She knows exactly what that smell is? Why does she have to ask him what the smell is when she knows what the smell is. That's called passive-aggressive nagging.

Whatever - I still think her problem was with the lying, not the vaping.  And yes - he was lying to keep the peace because she's a pain in the ass and he didn't want to be with her but didn't want to say so.  Just like he was surprised she said yeas on decision day after they had decided otherwise, but went along with it to keep the peace there.  I feel like she could keep saying yes for a year and he'd just hang out in the bathroom vaping, waiting to be let off the hook 😂Also - I think she has a beef with Christianity, and of course the fact that he clearly doesn't want her physically.  But as you say - they live in Colorado - exposing him as a vaper or pot smoker shouldn't be that damaging to him!  

6 hours ago, Chatty Cake said:

It’s possible but why let it get as far as the wedding itself? I would like to hear her side.

I bet it starts with the fact that she's a good fucking person!!! 😃

1 hour ago, Starlight925 said:

Two things can be true: 

    Becca can be a pain in the ass, and Austin can be a liar.

Bingo!

20 minutes ago, Hip-to-be-Square said:

 These stupid girls are so middle school, "Why aren't our exes texting us 🥴?!" 

The proper question they should be asking is, "Why are they still filming us when we're all broken up?"

[Peppermint]

Fresh flower vs fresh flowers.  I've just tuned into The Learning Channel. [NOT sarcasm].

[Elizzikra]

3 hours ago, Retired at last said:

I guess I am in the minority, but I believe that Becca was just citing an example of when Austin has lied. I don't think she cared about the vaping, but she does not want to be lied to - and who can blame her for that? Also, considering what this board "experts" on vaping have written, it is just stupid for him to lie about that if she could smell it.

Me too. I don’t think she cares that he vapes.

 

3 hours ago, Gator Stud said:

I actually SAW Emily getting lit up.  I didnt know that Austin smoked weed until innocent Becca outed him.  Becca characterized Austin's vaping as excessive, but she never said what that meant to her. Why would I defend Austin over something that I dont know is true and is undefined? I guess what really irks me that that people keep pretending that weed is dangerous but alcohol is not, like someone smoking is like some bad guy.  When it really was the government lying to its citizens about the risk and dangers?  Why is Austin a bad man just because he smokes weed?

Where has anyone said that weed is dangerous? Where has anyone said that Austin was a bad guy for vaping? Where was it even confirmed that Austin was vaping weed, not nicotine?

[Elizzikra]

2 hours ago, Gator Stud said:

She is sober.

I know plenty of sober people who don’t care if other people drink or smoke.

[Quiet1]

3 hours ago, ByTor said:

That she got matched with a liar.

Yet on decision day she still said yes, she wants to stay married to this man, the liar. Becca didn't have a problem with it at that time. Any sane person would have said Hell No. Goodbye. 

Unless Becca is the liar. Hmmm

[ByTor]

12 hours ago, Quiet1 said:

Unless Becca is the liar. Hmmm

My saying she was matched with a liar doesn't preclude her from being one too.

Edited March 19 by ByTor
grammar

[Chatty Cake]

2 hours ago, Quiet1 said:

Yet on decision day she still said yes, she wants to stay married to this man, the liar. Becca didn't have a problem with it at that time. Any sane person would have said Hell No. Goodbye. 

Unless Becca is the liar. Hmmm

Yes, she’s proved that she’s extremely pathetic. I am guessing the lying about the vaping was something he wanted to keep off camera. She agreed until it finally sunk in that he didn’t want to have sex with her. Then she outed him. That makes her a shitty person.

[Elizzikra]

Quote

 I am guessing the lying about the vaping was something he wanted to keep off camera.

I'm assuming in general he didn't advertise that he lied about many things. Generally I think liars don't like being identified as such; it makes the lying a lot harder and less effective.

[Maximadc]

If we talk so much about lying,
Let us remember that Becca agreed, promised to divorce on the day of the decision, and changed her mind in front of Austin's eyes. This is quite a lie in my opinion.

[Elizzikra]

5 minutes ago, Maximadc said:

If we talk so much about lying,
Let us remember that Becca agreed, promised to divorce on the day of the decision, and changed her mind in front of Austin's eyes. This is quite a lie in my opinion.

When did she do that?

And there’s no rule that says only one of them can lie.

i would not have guessed that Becca was going to turn out to be such a divisive cast member…

[Maximadc]

20 minutes ago, Elizzikra said:

When did she do that?

And there’s no rule that says only one of them can lie.

i would not have guessed that Becca was going to turn out to be such a divisive cast member…

I really don't know why this season makes people so polarized. I usually talk about girls' power and independent women's stuff because it is who I am. However, the girls from Denver are extremely dependent on their husbands, their girlfriends and social media optics(finally I used the word of the season).
These three girls are three 'f***good person Alyssas who keep criticizing without any self-reflection, telling each other that they deserve better(not sure why). 

 

[Elizzikra]

6 minutes ago, Maximadc said:

I really don't know why this season makes people so polarized. I usually talk about girls' power and independent women's stuff because it is who I am. However, the girls from Denver are extremely dependent on their husbands, their girlfriends and social media optics(finally I used the word of the season).
These three girls are three 'f***good person Alyssas who keep criticizing without any self-reflection, telling each other that they deserve better(not sure why). 
 

I could not stand Good Fucking Person Alyssa (“my friends call me ACE*”). I don’t love the ladies this season but I don’t dislike any of them as strongly as I disliked Alyssa. 

Though now that I think about it, depending on what his job is, Brennan might make a good match for Alyssa. I think she would find him attractive (maybe not tall enough but she was pretty short) and she might consider him “good enough” for her. I think she might fit his image of what a good wife and mother would be. As long as he has “the right” job, perfect teeth and plenty of money, they could be successful long term. 

*Nobody calls her “ACE”

Edited March 19 by Elizzikra

[Yeah No]

5 hours ago, Chatty Cake said:

Yes, she’s proved that she’s extremely pathetic. I am guessing the lying about the vaping was something he wanted to keep off camera. She agreed until it finally sunk in that he didn’t want to have sex with her. Then she outed him. That makes her a shitty person.

OMG, if it makes someone a shitty person to out someone that's been lying to them for weeks about being all into them to the point that he was making her doubt her better sense and gut instinct, I want to be that kind of shitty person!

The dude had it coming to him BIG TIME.  He is ON SCREEN lying to the audience about this multiple times.  She was not just fantasizing that he was into her.  He was TELLING HER HE WAS and acting like she was just insecure to think otherwise.  And he even had ways of making her think he was that into her even though he kept putting her off sexually.  He strung her along on that too, like it wasn't that he didn't want her sexually and it would happen eventually when he felt right about it.  Again, she was not delusional, the guy was deceiving her and he is ON CAMERA saying those things in front of the experts who supported him in saying them! 

I mean how freaking omniscient would she have to be to see through all of that deception especially when she has EVERYTHING invested in this relationship?  The guy put on a dead pan, sincere act and everything!  I expect a woman to see through an obvious player and we've had many of them on this show.  But this guy was really a wolf in sheep's clothing, that's for sure!

The guy lied to her so bad for weeks that he broke her heart and made her look like crap on camera.  If all she's done in response to that is out him for lying, I'd say he got off easy.

Edited March 19 by Yeah No

[qtpye]

2 hours ago, Elizzikra said:

I could not stand Good Fucking Person Alyssa (“my friends call me ACE*”). I don’t love the ladies this season but I don’t dislike any of them as strongly as I disliked Alyssa. 

Though now that I think about it, depending on what his job is, Brennan might make a good match for Alyssa. I think she would find him attractive (maybe not tall enough but she was pretty short) and she might consider him “good enough” for her. I think she might fit his image of what a good wife and mother would be. As long as he has “the right” job, perfect teeth and plenty of money, they could be successful long term. 

*Nobody calls her “ACE”

 

2 hours ago, Maximadc said:

I really don't know why this season makes people so polarized. I usually talk about girls' power and independent women's stuff because it is who I am. However, the girls from Denver are extremely dependent on their husbands, their girlfriends and social media optics(finally I used the word of the season).
These three girls are three 'f***good person Alyssas who keep criticizing without any self-reflection, telling each other that they deserve better(not sure why). 

 

I think what I loved about Alyssa is that she would not consider being married to her husband for one night but still wanted to move into the "shared apartment" and be part of the show, without the husband

It's like she thought the show would be her marketing tool, forgetting that she show is called MARRIED at First Sight.

[Yeah No]

2 hours ago, Elizzikra said:

Though now that I think about it, depending on what his job is, Brennan might make a good match for Alyssa. I think she would find him attractive (maybe not tall enough but she was pretty short) and she might consider him “good enough” for her. I think she might fit his image of what a good wife and mother would be. As long as he has “the right” job, perfect teeth and plenty of money, they could be successful long term. 

*Nobody calls her “ACE”

Two people that provoke a visceral reaction in me.  I personally think that would have been another match made in hell.  Alyssa was a real wacko.  She may have liked Brennan but I have a feeling he wouldn't have liked her back.  I think the fur would have really flown between them!

[Chatty Cake]

4 hours ago, Yeah No said:

OMG, if it makes someone a shitty person to out someone that's been lying to them for weeks about being all into them to the point that he was making her doubt her better sense and gut instinct, I want to be that kind of shitty person!

The dude had it coming to him BIG TIME.  He is ON SCREEN lying to the audience about this multiple times.  She was not just fantasizing that he was into her.  He was TELLING HER HE WAS and acting like she was just insecure to think otherwise.  And he even had ways of making her think he was that into her even though he kept putting her off sexually.  He strung her along on that too, like it wasn't that he didn't want her sexually and it would happen eventually when he felt right about it.  Again, she was not delusional, the guy was deceiving her and he is ON CAMERA saying those things in front of the experts who supported him in saying them! 

I mean how freaking omniscient would she have to be to see through all of that deception especially when she has EVERYTHING invested in this relationship?  The guy put on a dead pan, sincere act and everything!  I expect a woman to see through an obvious player and we've had many of them on this show.  But this guy was really a wolf in sheep's clothing, that's for sure!

The guy lied to her so bad for weeks that he broke her heart and made her look like crap on camera.  If all she's done in response to that is out him for lying, I'd say he got off easy.

He cared how he looked on camera. She knew that and used it against him.  Just because he had some faults doesn’t make her a good person. She was a sniveling lump of hysterics. Who wants to be married to that? He’s going to be the bad guy no matter what for rejecting her. As she would say for not being authentic and keeping her in a safe space. My god, who would want to listen to that shit in the first place?

[JenE4]

Gang, we’re just going to keep going in circles here on the lying and vaping and lying about vaping and the optics of lying about vaping forever because, frankly, there is no clearcut hero on this show. They’re all pretty terrible. (I will make an exception for Michael because he seems like a kind guy.) What are the hashtags we’re supposed to use to support constructive dialogue?

[Chatty Cake]

9 hours ago, Elizzikra said:

I'm assuming in general he didn't advertise that he lied about many things. Generally I think liars don't like being identified as such; it makes the lying a lot harder and less effective.

His lying was about how he looked on camera. He didn’t want to be known as a vaper. He didn’t want to come out and say he was grossed out by Becca sexually but liked her as friend. I actually think he liked her at first but was put off by all the communication and constantly being propositioned. 
He may have gotten there but her constant nagging and demanding a safe space opened his eyes that she was a word salad speaking, bug eyed, pink haired horn dog, It was too much for him and he couldn’t handle it. Does it make him a good guy? No but it doesn’t mean she’s not an even worse person.

[ByTor]

10 hours ago, Elizzikra said:

*Nobody calls her “ACE”

True, she did say that's what all her friends call her 😉😂

[Yeah No]

4 hours ago, Chatty Cake said:

He cared how he looked on camera. She knew that and used it against him.  Just because he had some faults doesn’t make her a good person. She was a sniveling lump of hysterics. Who wants to be married to that? He’s going to be the bad guy no matter what for rejecting her. As she would say for not being authentic and keeping her in a safe space. My god, who would want to listen to that shit in the first place?

Have you ever had a guy do that kind of shit to you?  Let me tell you I speak from experience.  If you care and are a sensitive, idealistic and feeling person it can turn a person into a pile of regressed goo all the way back to the womb. If not, well good for them but that's not me or Becca and there's no shame in being that way, in fact many people consider those qualities to be strengths.  I wouldn't want people criticizing me for my soft heart and sensitive soul.  Not everyone is made of steel.  And I don't blame the victims of this kind of behavior from men because I know what it's like to be one.  Many women are victims of this and let themselves get beaten down to the point of lowering their self esteem to negative numbers.  I personally have empathy for them and would feel unkind and off the mark to criticize them for it.  YMMV.

[Elizzikra]

2 hours ago, ByTor said:

True, she did say that's what all her friends call her 😉😂

Exactly :)

[Chatty Cake]

2 hours ago, Yeah No said:

Have you ever had a guy do that kind of shit to you?  Let me tell you I speak from experience.  If you care and are a sensitive, idealistic and feeling person it can turn a person into a pile of regressed goo all the way back to the womb. If not, well good for them but that's not me or Becca and there's no shame in being that way, in fact many people consider those qualities to be strengths.  I wouldn't want people criticizing me for my soft heart and sensitive soul.  Not everyone is made of steel.  And I don't blame the victims of this kind of behavior from men because I know what it's like to be one.  Many women are victims of this and let themselves get beaten down to the point of lowering their self esteem to negative numbers.  I personally have empathy for them and would feel unkind and off the mark to criticize them for it.  YMMV.

I don’t think Becca had a soft heart and sensitive soul.  I don’t see her as a victim either. She was a horn dog making sexual innuendos to him instead of relaxing and seeing if things may have happened natural. That doesn’t excuse him for lying but I see where he was coming from now.

Also I think she was supposed to say no on decision day to preserve her dignity. Instead the idiot said yes forcing him to say yes or face the outrage for saying no. He should have said no.

[Yeah No]

1 hour ago, Chatty Cake said:

I don’t think Becca had a soft heart and sensitive soul.  I don’t see her as a victim either. She was a horn dog making sexual innuendos to him instead of relaxing and seeing if things may have happened natural. That doesn’t excuse him for lying but I see where he was coming from now.

Also I think she was supposed to say no on decision day to preserve her dignity. Instead the idiot said yes forcing him to say yes or face the outrage for saying no. He should have said no.

He brought her behavior on himself by leading her on and then now people think if she wanted to take it further she's a "horn dog" and doing something wrong.  But that's not fair.  If they weren't married and he wasn't leading her on I'd say OK she should just chill, but that's not the situation.  They were already married and he was making verbal promises and kissing her in bed when it suited him.  After doing that calling "foul" and "time out" every time they got to the point of taking it further is really really nasty, especially when we know that he was lying and had zero intentions of following through on any of it. 

It's unfair call her a "horn dog" for taking his cues to mean she had the OK to proceed.  He is even on camera promising to do the "exercises" that the experts gave them.  If he didn't want her to try to take things further he needed to let her know that instead of misleading her.  All he had to do was tell her.  What is he 5 years old that he can't speak up for himself?  And yet instead he did just the opposite!  He kept putting the green light on and she kept thinking that meant it was OK to go.  You can't blame her for that.  A lot of guys prefer a woman to make the first move and will give those kinds of cues, so I can't blame her for taking him up on them.  Besides, Austin doesn't do anything he doesn't want to do.  If he found her advances that off-putting he could have sat her down and told her to chill out.  Obviously he didn't do that because everything I've seen shows him giving the exact opposite impression.  I have zero sympathy for him because he brought her behavior on himself. 

And besides, I'm reading on other sites some speculation possibly based on people in the know saying that Austin was being manipulated by the producers to engage in that leading-on behavior, which makes it even more heinous in my book.  If that's the case Becca was set up for a fall and made to look like a fool intentionally.

[Chatty Cake]

10 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

He brought her behavior on himself by leading her on and then now people think if she wanted to take it further she's a "horn dog" and doing something wrong.  But that's not fair.  If they weren't married and he wasn't leading her on I'd say OK she should just chill, but that's not the situation.  They were already married and he was making verbal promises and kissing her in bed when it suited him.  After doing that calling "foul" and "time out" every time they got to the point of taking it further is really really nasty, especially when we know that he was lying and had zero intentions of following through on any of it. 

It's unfair call her a "horn dog" for taking his cues to mean she had the OK to proceed.  He is even on camera promising to do the "exercises" that the experts gave them.  If he didn't want her to try to take things further he needed to let her know that instead of misleading her.  All he had to do was tell her.  What is he 5 years old that he can't speak up for himself?  And yet instead he did just the opposite!  He kept putting the green light on and she kept thinking that meant it was OK to go.  You can't blame her for that.  A lot of guys prefer a woman to make the first move and will give those kinds of cues, so I can't blame her for taking him up on them.  Besides, Austin doesn't do anything he doesn't want to do.  If he found her advances that off-putting he could have sat her down and told her to chill out.  Obviously he didn't do that because everything I've seen shows him giving the exact opposite impression.  I have zero sympathy for him because he brought her behavior on himself. 

And besides, I'm reading on other sites some speculation possibly based on people in the know saying that Austin was being manipulated by the producers to engage in that leading-on behavior, which makes it even more heinous in my book.  If that's the case Becca was set up for a fall and made to look like a fool intentionally.

I don’t think he lead her on.  I think he was hoping that he would feel something during one of the make out sessions but things fell limp 🤣 (sorry) 

He simply didn’t develop the feelings he thought he would. I can’t say it’s entirely her fault but as others have pointed out, she could have presented herself better. 

[Yeah No]

1 minute ago, Chatty Cake said:

I don’t think he lead her on.  I think he was hoping that he would feel something during one of the make out sessions but things fell limp 🤣 (sorry) 

He simply didn’t develop the feelings he thought he would. I can’t say it’s entirely her fault but as others have pointed out, she could have presented herself better. 

OK so if a person got into bed with you, kissed you, told you in front of the experts that it was only that you need more time to be physical and it wasn't anything they didn't like about you, and that they just couldn't make you understand that they really did find you attractive and wanted to be physical with you when they were ready that you wouldn't take that as being lead on if they never followed through on it and you realized later that they had absolutely no intentions of doing so?  Because to me that's the very definition of the term.

And that's just the thing.  A mature and decent individual wouldn't send mixed signals and give someone false hopes if they were still "hoping" to feel something more.  I can remember guys doing that with me and bless them because at least they didn't lead me on into false hopes.

Speaking of that, a quick internet search brought up this list on how to tell if you're leading someone on:

https://www.marriage.com/advice/relationship/signs-of-leading-someone-on-unintentionally/#:~:text=Leading someone on means giving,for the other person involved.

I challenge anyone to make a case that Austin was not guilty of most if not all of the points on this list, even the ones like "avoiding honest conversations".  Over and over again.  I have been saying all along that this guy has been giving her mixed signals to the point that she ended up not knowing which way was up with him or anything.  And that is also a part of leading someone on.  Only now I have good reason to believe that Austin was not doing this unintentionally but intentionally by doing what a producer wanted him to do when he didn't really feel any of it.  And that's even WORSE. 

[Rightside]

On 3/18/2024 at 9:10 AM, seacliffsal said:

Well, I think the show will never go back to Denver.  All of these participants are wildly disappointing IMO.  I think they all buy-in to the idea of just keep lying-defend your lies to the bitter end.  They also all try to blame the other person.

 

What is the difference between the Denver cast and another other cast?? Boston (round 2), San Diego and Houston were just as bad.

Edited March 19 by Rightside

[Chatty Cake]

1 hour ago, Yeah No said:

OK so if a person got into bed with you, kissed you, told you in front of the experts that it was only that you need more time to be physical and it wasn't anything they didn't like about you, and that they just couldn't make you understand that they really did find you attractive and wanted to be physical with you when they were ready that you wouldn't take that as being lead on if they never followed through on it and you realized later that they had absolutely no intentions of doing so?  Because to me that's the very definition of the term.

And that's just the thing.  A mature and decent individual wouldn't send mixed signals and give someone false hopes if they were still "hoping" to feel something more.  I can remember guys doing that with me and bless them because at least they didn't lead me on into false hopes.

Speaking of that, a quick internet search brought up this list on how to tell if you're leading someone on:

https://www.marriage.com/advice/relationship/signs-of-leading-someone-on-unintentionally/#:~:text=Leading someone on means giving,for the other person involved.

I challenge anyone to make a case that Austin was not guilty of most if not all of the points on this list, even the ones like "avoiding honest conversations".  Over and over again.  I have been saying all along that this guy has been giving her mixed signals to the point that she ended up not knowing which way was up with him or anything.  And that is also a part of leading someone on.  Only now I have good reason to believe that Austin was not doing this unintentionally but intentionally by doing what a producer wanted him to do when he didn't really feel any of it.  And that's even WORSE. 

Austin was guilty of those points but some of them were repetitive and sounded like that stupid therapy speak that Becca used all season.

I’m not sure Austin was coerced into leading Becca on. He did legally marry her and he most likely wanted it to work. In fact he seemed enamored when she came down the aisle. He thought the pink hair was cute and he was complimentary about her appearance. I think he wanted to want her but as time went on his feelings never made it all the way.

 

[Yeah No]

5 minutes ago, Chatty Cake said:

Austin was guilty of those points but some of them were repetitive and sounded like that stupid therapy speak that Becca used all season.

YMMV, but none of those points sounded to me anything like the trendy schlock psychology "buzzwords" we heard out of the women's mouths on the show.  Not that I'm the expert or anything after achieving straight A's at a major university in an MS in Counseling Psychology.  🤷‍♀️

[Maximadc]

I think any woman knows and excuse me feels when a man wants her.

I have never been mistaken in my life. However, it really hurts to admit the truth, but this is when your independent woman comes out and you let him go.

[Chatty Cake]

26 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

YMMV, but none of those points sounded to me anything like the trendy schlock psychology "buzzwords" we heard out of the women's mouths on the show.  Not that I'm the expert or anything after achieving straight A's at a major university in an MS in Counseling Psychology.  🤷‍♀️

Is that why you put YMMV in most of your posts? 
To me the article sounded like repetitive crap. A woman of Becca’s age should know a bit better. 

 

25 minutes ago, Maximadc said:

I think any woman knows and excuse me feels when a man wants her.

I have never been mistaken in my life. However, it really hurts to admit the truth, but this is when your independent woman comes out and you let him go.

Yes!

[Yeah No]

2 hours ago, Chatty Cake said:

Is that why you put YMMV in most of your posts? 
To me the article sounded like repetitive crap. A woman of Becca’s age should know a bit better.

Obviously a lot of women don't "know better", otherwise they wouldn't have to write such "repetitive crap" for them to read.  If the producers are responsible for a lot of what was done to Becca she might deserve a little empathy rather than criticism.  I don't know too many women that would have "known better" that the show was deliberately sabotaging their relationship with the very guy they matched them up with!

[Chatty Cake]

17 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

Obviously a lot of women don't "know better", otherwise they wouldn't have to write such "repetitive crap" for them to read.  If the producers are responsible for a lot of what was done to Becca she might deserve a little empathy rather than criticism.  I don't know too many women that would have "known better" that the show was deliberately sabotaging their relationship with the very guy they matched them up with!

That’s a reach that  the show was trying to sabotage the couples.  It’s possible that Austin didn’t find Becca as delightful as she finds herself.