S06.E05: Life After Lockup: Problems You Didn't Know You Had

[PrincessPurrsALot]

Quote

Melissa pursues a secret plan; Chance faces his prison nemesis; Joy questions everything.

Original air date 2023.12.29

Bobbo's coming!  While I know it will disappoint since Bobbo likely has sense enough not to assault Chance on air, we can all dream. 

[PrincessPurrsALot]

Bobbo didn't assault Chance but he certainly scared him.  Poor widdle Chancie looked like he was going to cry. Given the way that Chance treats Tayler, it was good to see him looking scared.  The man is garbage.

So Melissa wants a new nose; that is, something smaller.  And she's willing to pay through the nose for it. <rim shot>. Of course she does.  None of these clowns could afford plastic surgery if they weren't on  the show.  Those sharp dollars are burning a hole in her pockets. 

Donna, the server of plain noodles, criticized Melissa's cooking.  Simply being of Italian heritage does not make someone a good cook.  You need aptitude and interest.  Neither of them has shown an interest in cooking, so they both serve basic food. That high horse has no rider.     

[SemiCharmedLife]

I'm not usually a conspiracy theorist, but no live chat two Fridays in a row??  Hmm...something fishy is going on! 😉

Bobbo is a joke, but I do believe he made Chance crap his pants in fear, so he can come back anytime.

When Melissa said she didn't have time to make a sauce, a thought there would at least be a jar of marinara or SOMETHING to put on the pasta.  I haven't had plain noodles since I was a toddler.

[PrincessPurrsALot]

In one of Donna's scenes, there was a half used jar of Prego on the counter.  Melissa may not have had time to cook up a ragu but she could have opened a jar. 

Did anyone tear up at Redd's goodbye to his PS5?  He'll miss it so. 

[sempervivum]

So last week Lindsey was out shaking down her old druggie customers for spare change, but now she can afford a $200 'engagement chain' for Blaine? Also last week she asked Mylie if she wanted Blaine as a step dad, Mylie very definitely said 'no', and now Lindsey is proposing to Blaine?

Melissa: a different nose on your face will not keep Louie from looking at other girls' 'noses'. Also, since he can't possibly have a license for big-rig truck driving, he'll be doing Fed Ex runs (if he's lucky). Lots of lonely housewives out there waiting for their packages to arrive, IYKWIM.

Chance's jeans looked like moth-eaten long johns. TayLER also continues to be a mess.

Kerock is a controlling little creep, imo. Don't let him gaslight you, Brit.

I loathe both Redd and Joyless.

 

[Elizzikra]

3 hours ago, SemiCharmedLife said:

I'm not usually a conspiracy theorist, but no live chat two Fridays in a row??  Hmm...something fishy is going on! 😉

Bobbo is a joke, but I do believe he made Chance crap his pants in fear, so he can come back anytime.

When Melissa said she didn't have time to make a sauce, a thought there would at least be a jar of marinara or SOMETHING to put on the pasta.  I haven't had plain noodles since I was a toddler.

There was one, on the kitchen counter. I don't know if she didn't serve it over the pasta (like, on the side) or no one ate it, but there was a jar there.

[OoogleEyes]

Does Primetimer dot com hate Fridays at 9?

I thought that shopping for Bobbie's wedding dress was lovely. I really hope that she does well. TayLER is a jealous little mess.

What pink monstrosity vomited all over Mylie Grace's bedroom? 

Chance. You *can't* be a provider. Face it. 

Lindsey is up to something with the marriage proposal. I don't trust her. 

Joyless, this is the last time you'll be seeing Redd.

Kerok still is giving me abuser vibes. He's scary.

[Andyourlittledog2]

~~I want a girl just like the girl that married dear old dad~~

Watching Louie sit between Donna and Melissa was hysterical. He is trying to stand up for himself (more than I thought he would) but he has chosen a girl just like mom. He gets what he wanted I guess. As for that pasta, hmm.  If there was a half jar of sauce on the counter it could be that it was in the fridge for a while and no one thought it looked like it was good to use anymore after the pasta was already cooked. I have no idea why they keep sitting down to plain noodles in that family/situation. It is very odd that it's happened more than once.

Kerok is a controlling creep. I'm officially off the Kerok fan train. I guess Kerok thinks being a man is being a controlling jerk. He needs better role models.

This applies to Kerok and Melissa and Donna:  If you are the locus of control for an addict then they are not going to succeed. The addict has to control themselves, not be babysat into being 'good'.  All three of these people seem to think that if they are in the face of the addict enough they will be able to keep them off drugs/out of prison/away from other women but it doesn't work like that. The actual addict/criminal has to want it themselves. All your smothering does is make them eventually get fed up and want to let loose and declare their autonomy, usually in the stupidest way possible.

[JenE4]

Two weeks in a row without the chat proved that I don’t actually find this show entertaining. But think we already knew it’s the bunkies we make along the way that matter. I did laugh, however, when Chance was crying over Bobo and lamenting that his manhood was in question over being scared. And then he had the audacity to say it’s almost as bad as a man who cannot provide for his family. Cannot provide for his family! 

[Empress1]

2 hours ago, sempervivum said:

Also last week she asked Mylie if she wanted Blaine as a step dad, Mylie very definitely said 'no', and now Lindsey is proposing to Blaine?

Lindsey said point blank that she knows Blaine takes things at his own pace but she wasn’t going to let him. She doesn’t care about what others want. 

47 minutes ago, OoogleEyes said:

Lindsey is up to something with the marriage proposal. I don't trust her. 

She also said she wants to lock Blaine down so that a) he has to do the time with her if she gets convicted and b) he has to be a father to Miley (whose room looks … crazy, I’m sorry) if she goes away. At least she’s giving her step-grandmother a break. (I have one of those, my grandfather’s widow. She WOULD NOT step up the way Lindsey’s did. Lindsey’s is a saint.)

Bobbo did not look that scary, and all the drama was over a grand, I think, which from what I recall is like 1/30 of what Chance owes. I’m happy for Bobbie and sad for Tayler; Chance sucks and deep down she knows it, but she’s got the sink cost fallacy in her head, plus the baby.

[Auntie Anxiety]

@Elizzikra beat me to a comment about the jarred sauce. Hint: It wasn’t Rao’s.

Edited December 31, 2023 by Auntie Anxiety

[PrincessPurrsALot]

On 12/30/2023 at 3:01 PM, JenE4 said:

Two weeks in a row without the chat proved that I don’t actually find this show entertaining. But think we already knew it’s the bunkies we make along the way that matter. I did laugh, however, when Chance was crying over Bobo and lamenting that his manhood was in question over being scared. And then he had the audacity to say it’s almost as bad as a man who cannot provide for his family. Cannot provide for his family! 

That was this week's greatest risk of dying from terminal eyeroll.  Chance can't provide for more than his next beer, and I'm not sure how he's doing that.  He is such a loser.  Tayler is an idiot for having a baby with this guy.  Makes it harder to scrape him off. 

The food thing with Melissa, Donna, and Louie gets me. The saga begins with Donna serving plain noodles when Louie was released from prison.  Donna does have jarred sauce at her house.  When visiting Melissa, Louie comments on her frozen meatballs. I'm guessing drunko Donna didn't exactly make her Nana's recipe from the old country when cooking for him.  Again, plain noodles. Now Melissa serves plain spaghetti rather than popping open a jar and Donna has the nerve to comment on the lack of sauce and prefers angel hair pasta.  They all need to either cook better or STFU about what they are served.  Louie's hands seem to work.  If he wants homemade sauce, he can get to it. Give Donna a six-pack of swill and set her up in the living room.

[Gobi]

2 hours ago, Elizzikra said:

There was one, on the kitchen counter. I don't know if she didn't serve it over the pasta (like, on the side) or no one ate it, but there was a jar there.

I could see red in Louie’s pasta, so some sauce was used. Not sure about Melissa’s and Donna’s pasta.

Add to the list of things I never needed to see: Louie on the toilet.

[Peppermint]

Well, are NJ Italians different from NY Italians ?? On my second date with my NY Italian future husband, he brought over tomato, pasta, 4 kinds of meat, wine, and proceeded to teach me how to make "gravy". Irish/Welsh/German ladies CAN cook Italian. I already had wooden spoons. They were not attack trained.

The only plain pasta served in our home was pastina with a pat of butter for the babies.

Louie on the toilet. You are what you eat. Leaving now.

 

 

[Elizzikra]

It's definitely a leftover from childhood but one of my comfort foods is pasta with butter and parm. Lots of both. It's nothing I'd serve to guests but sometimes it just hits the spot.

[OoogleEyes]

24 minutes ago, Peppermint said:

 

The only plain pasta served in our home was pastina with a pat of butter for the babies

Oh, I love myself a bowl of pastina with butter and parm. Comfort in a bowl.

Maybe they were eating spaghetti aglio e olio. 

Probably not

Edited December 31, 2023 by OoogleEyes

[PrincessPurrsALot]

8 minutes ago, Peppermint said:

Well, are NJ Italians different from NY Italians ?? On my second date with my NY Italian future husband, he brought over tomato, pasta, 4 kinds of meat, wine, and proceeded to teach me how to make "gravy". Irish/Welsh/German ladies CAN cook Italian. I already had wooden spoons. They were not attack trained.

The only plain pasta served in our home was pastina with a pat of butter for the babies.

Louie on the toilet. You are what you eat. Leaving now.

It is not a matter of people of Italian descent from NJ or NY or anywhere else.  My grandmother was from southern Italy and she was a truly terrible cook.  Some of her siblings were good cooks; some were not. As you say, regardless of where people are from / their ethnicity, many people can cook good Italian food.  It's not something in the blood of the chef.  You lucked into a future husband who made a good traditional ragu.  Even calling it gravy is not across the board in NJ or NY or elsewhere on the east coast.  Calling it gravy became more widespread when it was used on the Sopranos and is common in some areas, but is not universal.  In many areas the standard sauce has a much higher tomato to meat ratio.  A traditional ragu or Sunday gravy is meat forward with minimal tomato. 

With this long aside, there are many sauce variations that can be made in a lot less time  that are really good.  But neither of these women are cooks which is okay.  The ridiculous part is them all doing the presumption that being of Italian descent means you can and want to cook more time intensive Italian recipes and Louie from Lakeland acting like Melissa is failing by not cooking food that I am pretty damn sure his drunk mother wasn't providing. 

[Elizzikra]

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Louie from Lakeland acting like Melissa is failing by not cooking food that I am pretty damn sure his drunk mother wasn't providing. 

It's gotta be better than what he was eating in prison...

[Peppermint]

Wonder what Donna would think if Melissa made Puttanesca ?? My fast fav. 

New York - New Jersey - North Carolina - Ohio....those two women should just order Chinese . Louie would probably be happier than them fighting over dinner.

 

[Elizzikra]

27 minutes ago, Peppermint said:

Wonder what Donna would think if Melissa made Puttanesca ?? My fast fav. 

New York - New Jersey - North Carolina - Ohio....those two women should just order Chinese . Louie would probably be happier than them fighting over dinner.

 

Marcella Hagan has a very simple pasta sauce that involves simmering a whole onion (you don't chop it or anything) in canned, whole tomatoes and butter. The sauce is delicious, as is the onion, which gets very soft and is amazing spread on crostini. It's easy and cheap.

[OoogleEyes]

3 hours ago, Empress1 said:

 

Bobbo did not look that scary, and all the drama was over a grand, I think, which from what I recall is like 1/30 of what Chance owes. 

I saw that skateboard leaning against the wall and thought "oh yeah. Bobo's a skaterboi"

Is that supposed to be scary?

Edited December 31, 2023 by OoogleEyes

[SemiCharmedLife]

7 hours ago, sempervivum said:

 

Chance's jeans looked like moth-eaten long johns. TayLER also continues to be a mess.

 

Chance deserves a beat down just for wearing those monstrosities.

[JenE4]

55 minutes ago, Peppermint said:

Well, are NJ Italians different from NY Italians ?? On my second date with my NY Italian future husband, he brought over tomato, pasta, 4 kinds of meat, wine, and proceeded to teach me how to make "gravy". Irish/Welsh/German ladies CAN cook Italian. I already had wooden spoons. They were not attack trained.

The only plain pasta served in our home was pastina with a pat of butter for the babies.

Louie on the toilet. You are what you eat. Leaving now.

 

 

 

My husband is a “Jersey Italian.” There’s definitely a cultural obsession with food  regardless of any ability to cook. His mother and sister—both 100% Italian—cannot cook.(No seasoning whatsoever. A Italian who doesn’t believe in garlic or onions or basil, etc. Mushy vegetables, dryed out meat.) Despite that, his mother thinks she can and is also hyper-focused on having a ridiculous amount of terrible food. So every square inch of the table will be filled with food. Then she will proceed to throw out all of it after the meal, because even she won’t eat her own leftovers. 

[Pepper Mostly]

11 hours ago, Elizzikra said:

Marcella Hagan has a very simple pasta sauce that involves simmering a whole onion (you don't chop it or anything) in canned, whole tomatoes and butter. The sauce is delicious, as is the onion, which gets very soft and is amazing spread on crostini. It's easy and cheap.

I make that sauce all the time, its a cinch to make and useful to have on hand. Donna and Melissa's bickering is getting beyond tired. 

And weighing in from the Boston area, old school Italian Americans up my way called sauce "gravy". At least when I was a kid. Now it seems to have gone the way of other regionalisms, like "tonic" for soda or "elastic" for rubber band or "piazza" for porch. You only hear old folks saying those now. 

[Elizzikra]

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Chance deserves a beat down just for wearing those monstrosities.

At least he isn't spending their limited money on clothes.

[sempervivum]

1 hour ago, Elizzikra said:

At least he isn't spending their limited money on clothes.

Why do I suspect that he paid considerably more for those than he would have for a pair of Levis?

[Eldemarge]

I missed y'all on Friday!  I was hoping for a beatdown and got some almost-smooching-a-crying-man shots, some with a hat on, some with a hat off.  What a LETDOWN.

I guess Melissa went and got that nose job (not judging, I got one as well) but I would just love to see a softer makeup look on the girl.  But I get it, she's sporting a Jersey lewk.  

[1011101010001]

I wouldn’t want to go to prison for ten years but I wouldn’t lie and keep calling it 40. 

On 12/30/2023 at 6:40 PM, PrincessPurrsALot said:

Donna has the nerve to comment on the lack of sauce and prefers angel hair pasta

When do we get the debate about using boxed dried pasta versus making it fresh?  Fresh grated Parmesan versus Kraft in the shaker can?

Edited January 2 by MrBuhBye

[anoninrva]

On 12/30/2023 at 9:05 PM, Peppermint said:

Well, are NJ Italians different from NY Italians ?? On my second date with my NY Italian future husband, he brought over tomato, pasta, 4 kinds of meat, wine, and proceeded to teach me how to make "gravy". Irish/Welsh/German ladies CAN cook Italian. I already had wooden spoons. They were not attack trained.

I've only heard it called gravy by my (NY) Italian relatives.  I think that *always* has meat in it, though.  Louie's mom and Melissa calling it "sauce" struck me as odd..

[Keywestclubkid]

11 hours ago, anoninrva said:

I've only heard it called gravy by my (NY) Italian relatives.  I think that *always* has meat in it, though.  Louie's mom and Melissa calling it "sauce" struck me as odd..

My Italian roommate who grew up in Baltimore calls it Gravy ... LOL for the longest i was like its SAUCE LOL 

[SemiCharmedLife]

18 hours ago, MrBuhBye said:

I wouldn’t want to go to prison for ten years but I wouldn’t lie and keep calling it 40. 

When do we get the debate about using boxed dried pasta versus making it fresh?  Fresh grated Parmesan versus Kraft in the shaker can?

I don't think there will be a debate regarding those two things.  Even us nonItalians know fresh is best!  

BTW, you guys are making me hungry! 😂

[1011101010001]

6 hours ago, SemiCharmedLife said:

I don't think there will be a debate regarding those two things.  Even us nonItalians know fresh is best!  

BTW, you guys are making me hungry! 😂

I bet the vast majority of people use the dried lol.  And the Kraft shaker can.

[SemiCharmedLife]

3 minutes ago, MrBuhBye said:

I bet the vast majority of people use the dried lol.  And the Kraft shaker can.

Yes, for the convenience.  Especially the fresh pasta- that takes time and talent!  At least picking up some parmesan and grating it is doable.  I still consider myself more of a gourmet cook than either Melissa or Donna, since my pasta has a topping!

[1011101010001]

1 hour ago, SemiCharmedLife said:

Yes, for the convenience.  Especially the fresh pasta- that takes time and talent!  At least picking up some parmesan and grating it is doable.  I still consider myself more of a gourmet cook than either Melissa or Donna, since my pasta has a topping!

They do sell “fresh” pasta in the grocery store in the refrigerated section but it’s relatively expensive.

[anoninrva]

1 hour ago, MrBuhBye said:

I bet the vast majority of people use the dried lol.  And the Kraft shaker can.

I'm not making my own tagliatelle like grandma used to make, but the hell if I'm eating cheese from a can.

[1011101010001]

23 minutes ago, anoninrva said:

I'm not making my own tagliatelle like grandma used to make, but the hell if I'm eating cheese from a can.

The urban legend is they use sawdust to keep it from clumping.  Not true but funny.

[tvfanatic13]

Clearly Redd’s PS5 means more to him than Joyless… I was dying when he said that. 

[Elizzikra]

2 hours ago, SemiCharmedLife said:

Yes, for the convenience.  Especially the fresh pasta- that takes time and talent!  At least picking up some parmesan and grating it is doable.  I still consider myself more of a gourmet cook than either Melissa or Donna, since my pasta has a topping!

I have multiple friends of Italian descent with very strong opinions on Italian cuisine and nearly all of them say that making your own pasta isn't worth the time and effort. There are really good dried pastas out there and most of them say they can't taste the difference between them and homemade. As my one friend is fond of saying, "it's flour and water." So is paste, but he swears it's the truth. I'd still like to try it someday but haven't quite worked up to it yet.

Now sauce is another story. They'll entertain canned tomatoes in sauce, but sauce is only worth eating if it's homemade. No way they are eating that shit from a jar (I will - I love Rao's vodka sauce, but I'm a mutt of English, Irish and Czech so what do I know about pasta?).

Quote

hell if I'm eating cheese from a can.

My dogs beg to differ; they just enjoyed a can of cheez whiz...

Edited January 3 by Elizzikra

[PrincessPurrsALot]

Folks,

Talking about the Donna / Melissa food ridiculousness is fine. Please take general  food talk to Small Talk.  

[SemiCharmedLife]

2 hours ago, MrBuhBye said:

The urban legend is they use sawdust to keep it from clumping.  Not true but funny.

It's not exactly sawdust, but it can contain up to 9% cellulose, a derivative of wood pulp or plant fibers.  Quote from The Counter:  "In the dairy industry, cellulose is used mainly as an anti-caking agent that ensures shredded cheese will “flow and not clump into a ball,” when it’s coming out of a shaker..."  That's why I avoid the pre-grated cheeses-  it has extra carbs that I can't have.  

I'll go to Small Talk now, but I thought some people here would like to know about the cheese additive.

[1011101010001]

At least we were wholesome bad rather than the usual bad.

Back to the show, maybe I am easily conned but the more I watch Louie the more I get the sense that he is a fundamentally good person.  And way more patient with those two than I would be.

[Gobi]

5 hours ago, MrBuhBye said:

At least we were wholesome bad rather than the usual bad.

Back to the show, maybe I am easily conned but the more I watch Louie the more I get the sense that he is a fundamentally good person.  And way more patient with those two than I would be.

Maybe spending time in prison taught him to avoid conflict.

[Empress1]

9 hours ago, MrBuhBye said:

At least we were wholesome bad rather than the usual bad.

Back to the show, maybe I am easily conned but the more I watch Louie the more I get the sense that he is a fundamentally good person.  And way more patient with those two than I would be.

He does seem like a decent guy and I can tell he used to be hot, but his addiction shows. (His new teeth are so obvious. Do they not fit?) Melissa is a nightmare and I’d have broken up with her a while ago, but he actually seems to like her. 🤷🏾‍♀️

[Elizzikra]

3 hours ago, Gobi said:

Maybe spending time in prison taught him to avoid conflict.

You’d think that it would, right?

 

9 hours ago, MrBuhBye said:

At least we were wholesome bad rather than the usual bad.

Back to the show, maybe I am easily conned but the more I watch Louie the more I get the sense that he is a fundamentally good person.  And way more patient with those two than I would be.

I fight it but I like Louis. I think he peaked in high school but is a fundamentally good person who had a pretty bad drug habit. I hope things go well for him on the outside.

[1011101010001]

So truck drivers make more than personal trainers or is it just that she doesn’t want him around women?  Although she was worried about him driving to New Jersey alone because he might talk to a woman at a rest stop so I don’t know how that will work.  Wait until she hears about pavement princesses.   Maybe she can get him a job as a men’s locker room attendant lol.

[anoninrva]

55 minutes ago, MrBuhBye said:

So truck drivers make more than personal trainers or is it just that she doesn’t want him around women?  Although she was worried about him driving to New Jersey alone because he might talk to a woman at a rest stop so I don’t know how that will work.  Wait until she hears about pavement princesses.   Maybe she can get him a job as a men’s locker room attendant lol.

Truck drivers can make six figures.  Personal trainers can struggle to make over minimum wage.  I think jealousy is a big factor,  and she's probably not thinking of the more lucrative interstate trucking, but even delivering towels or something is a pretty decent gig for a felon.

[Empress1]

20 minutes ago, anoninrva said:

Truck drivers can make six figures.  Personal trainers can struggle to make over minimum wage.  I think jealousy is a big factor,  and she's probably not thinking of the more lucrative interstate trucking, but even delivering towels or something is a pretty decent gig for a felon.

And it’s much more stable work. There’s much more of a need for hauling stuff from place to place than there is for personal training. Interstate trucking is grueling though.

[1011101010001]

53 minutes ago, anoninrva said:

Truck drivers can make six figures.  Personal trainers can struggle to make over minimum wage.  I think jealousy is a big factor,  and she's probably not thinking of the more lucrative interstate trucking, but even delivering towels or something is a pretty decent gig for a felon.

Yeah or Amazon which may not be much more than minimum wage.

[anoninrva]

13 minutes ago, MrBuhBye said:

Yeah or Amazon which may not be much more than minimum wage.

Yeah, but her dad's a mobster, so it's less likely to be gig economy.  You raise a decent point.  Even FedEx, UPS, etc are using gig workers.

[Elizzikra]

4 hours ago, MrBuhBye said:

So truck drivers make more than personal trainers or is it just that she doesn’t want him around women?  

I have a couple of friends who are personal trainers. It’s a tough job. Almost all of them are self-employed and you have to drum up enough business to make a decent living at it. You also have to be pretty disciplined. For example, one of my trainer friends would sell six-session packages at a discount and get paid for six sessions upfront. She had to be really disciplined about not spending all that money at one time because she could go months between selling packages. Truck drivers, on the other hand, are often salaried employees and earn a stable paycheck, plus benefits like health insurance.

I can’t think of too many jobs that Louis could do that wouldn’t put him in contact with women. Maybe call center employee working from home, but even then, he’d be talking to women on the phone.