Chit-Chat: What's On Your Mind Today?

[Yeah No]

On 4/11/2025 at 9:41 AM, PRgal said:

Definitely a generational thing! 

I guess I didn't get the memo on that because I avoid writing checks whenever possible.

On 4/11/2025 at 10:22 AM, PRgal said:

To non-Canadians:  Interac is one way we transfer money electronically to people.  It's through our bank, not a third party like Venmo.  

I have two bank accounts at different banks in the US and they both offer the ability to transfer money through your account online. All you have to do is add the person and their account info. or organization as a payee and you're all set. It's only for domestic transfers, though. International is much more of an issue and costs money.

3 hours ago, SoMuchTV said:

Today I learned that my husband, a well educated professional who has used the internet in his work and personal life for many, many years, does not understand the concept of entering a website name in the address bar of a browser. As in, me: “go to suchandsuch.com” - him: goes to google to look for it. Me: no, just put that website in the address bar. Him: huh? I always just go to google to find it. 

Now I’m questioning everything I’ve assumed people knew when I’ve tried to give internet assistance to anyone!

I've gone through those moments wondering what I'm assuming people know that they don't know and vice versa. My husband doesn't know how to type an address in the address bar, but he also doesn't know how to copy and paste one into the address bar either! And he's been on a computer since the 90s. But he's a dyslexic so I understand that there are some things he just can't handle.

[EtheltoTillie]

Using Facebook to get to URLs — that’s so ridiculous you have to count me among those wouldn’t know about it. 

[Quof]

My mother still insists on sending email to a person's "email id". 

She cannot wrap her head around the fact that one sends mail to an address.

[Anduin]

My parents are boomers and they've mostly got the hang of modern technology. I suppose that jobs needing some tech skill helps, and just life in general these days.

I've found the pressure of trying to do things has pushed my knowledge forward. I'll often try something different ways until I either do it or run out of ideas, or sometimes find a useful program. For that matter, I have so many bookmarks that subfolders sometimes run three deep just to keep them scrolling off the screen. :)

[Quof]

15 hours ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

They said heating it up like that kills the good stuff that's in honey.

I eat honey because it's delicious. 

If I cared about health benefits, I would eat things like kale and liver.  

[Absolom]

13 hours ago, shapeshifter said:

I use one of those deep Corelle bowls so there's room for boiling up but not over.

I learned to use those bowls, too, and then my daughter found out what I was doing and requested a set of them for Christmas.  We used to have an outlet near me.  

In the continuing rice saga, I almost have it "perfect" for me.  I'm not rinsing it and using less and less water plus the Martha Stewart clean towel trick.  Strangely enough I was being lazy yesterday (felt sick actually) so made rice in the microwave and it was nearly perfect also.  The bowls work as well for rice as they do oatmeal.

[Absolom]

21 hours ago, RealHousewife said:

Does anyone here use a Nespresso machine? I've heard wonderful things about it, but I just feeling I am spending more on coffee only to drink stuff that's very bitter. I've tried a ton of pods, and none of them taste great. Maybe espresso is just not for me? I like what I've tried at the coffee shops. 

My daughter was given one as a wedding present.  I think they used it for maybe six to nine months before sending it to Goodwill and buying a Keurig.  They didn't like several aspects of it including the flavors. They tired of the Keurig after a couple of years and now have something I guess you'd say fancier or more multipurpose.

[shapeshifter]

15 hours ago, Yeah No said:

Here in the States I'm pretty sure you'd have to be over 200 years old to have ever written someone a "cheque", LOL. 😉

Hee! 😆 
My frenemy sister has been a Canadian since 1969, and word usages and spellings is a favorite point of contention with us, even though I too lived in Canada for 2 years and adopted those spellings while I lived there.

15 hours ago, Yeah No said:

My father once sent me a birthday check in the mail and it was stolen from the public mailbox in NYC where he left it. After that he'd wait until he saw me in person to give it to me.

☹️ bummer.
My landlady from 2015-2021 wanted checks only, but then she lost one getting out of her car, and lost another when a snow plow took out their mailbox, so somehow I managed to get her to use Zelle. There were language barriers, and technical hurdles, but we liked each other, which makes everything easier.
It probably helped that I was able to cancel both of the checks she lost without incurring any fees from my bank, so I was not a cranky tenant.
Except once or twice.😉

 

Yesterday I used the microwave to heat up milk for a bottle for Lambchop #2.
The milk gets poured into a glass measuring cup and nuked for 30 seconds (more or less) then poured into his bottle.
Then add snuggles.

 

Edited April 13 by shapeshifter

[RealHousewife]

Just now, Absolom said:

My daughter was given one as a wedding present.  I think they used it for maybe six to nine months before sending it to Goodwill and buying a Keurig.  They didn't like several aspects of it including the flavors. They tired of the Keurig after a couple of years and now have something I guess you'd say fancier or more multipurpose.

Thank you! I feel like not just the machine, but the pods are pricy for the taste. I am happier with just a quality ground coffee/regular coffee maker or a Keurig. I'm open to the fancier stuff that's hopefully better the Nespresso I bought. 

[Absolom]

Price was something they talked about also.  I wish I knew what the name of the current machine is, but they can use bagged ground coffee in it plus it heats the milk and you can add things like this chai mixture from Trader Joe's I got SIL hooked on for winter.  

The current machine that they've used the longest isn't either of these but it looks quite similar.

Edited April 13 by Absolom

[shapeshifter]

15 hours ago, Yeah No said:

Sorry for the delay, I've been sidetracked by my shockingly time consuming and tiring lymphedema therapy, which is over now, thankfully!

Did you ever get your handicapped parking permit? Those can be really handy in bad weather when you are feeling "under the weather."

[lookeyloo]

Speaking of coffee, I somehow couldn't taste the Kirkland Brand I had been drinking for years.  I could taste everything else and coffee elsewhere.  So started experimenting with different brands, a Melitta filter, and someone suggested a french press.  That really is easy and no filters to buy.  I make one 12 ounce in the am into an insulated mug and it lasts as long as I want it to.  I have tried maybe 8 different coffees and they are all good enough.  I can detect the difference in their tastes.  so, it's not just me!!

[ABay]

Going back to URLs (autocorrect changed it to Bros...wtf?) and Facebook=internet...it does seem to surprise some that the internet pre-dates the world wide web and the two aren't synonymous.

If you were online in He Older Days, did you prefer your text in green, orange, or white?

Edited April 14 by ABay

[Absolom]

I was so used to green, I remember my shock upon getting orange.

[chitowngirl]

Orange was so much easier on the eyes.

[shapeshifter]

I saw this on FB:

“It helps if you imagine autocorrect as a tiny little elf in your phone who's trying so hard to be helpful but is in fact quite drunk.”
(attributed to Michael Marshall Smith)

[Yeah No]

8 hours ago, shapeshifter said:

Did you ever get your handicapped parking permit? Those can be really handy in bad weather when you are feeling "under the weather."

I did, thanks! It came in the mail in under a week from submitting the application online. Well, I guess I forgive them for not giving me an in-person appointment. And yes, it's been great. I will still have to come back for another wrapping in a couple of weeks and periodically for a while so I will still need it. It's good for 6 months.

[Yeah No]

11 hours ago, RealHousewife said:

Thank you! I feel like not just the machine, but the pods are pricy for the taste. I am happier with just a quality ground coffee/regular coffee maker or a Keurig. I'm open to the fancier stuff that's hopefully better the Nespresso I bought. 

I had a Nespresso machine several years ago before I realized that I have a sensitivity to a rare acid in coffee that doesn't exist in anything else. I started buying acid-free coffee online but it doesn't come in Nespresso sized pods, only Keurig and regular ground or whole bean.

My husband is not an espresso fan so he didn't use the Nespresso either. So I gave it away. But to be honest I didn't think it tasted any better than just using a Keurig or regular drip coffee maker with any dark roast coffee. The thing that makes espresso taste like a barista made it is being brewed under high pressure, and you just can't get that taste from a pod brewer no matter what. So what's the point?

And yeah, the cost didn't justify it either. I managed to find another brand of coffee pod that fit the Nespresso machine at a local discount store for a while. I think you can get them on Amazon and it's significantly cheaper.

[Yeah No]

17 hours ago, Quof said:

My mother still insists on sending email to a person's "email id". 

She cannot wrap her head around the fact that one sends mail to an address.

My father, who would be turning 98 this year, taught me how to send an external email back in 1993. I was working at a big accounting firm and one day we were all given email addresses, but having come from academia I assumed they could only be used within the company like we did there (although I was sending messages to other universities in the '80s, I just didn't know that it was "email", perhaps because there really wasn't such a thing yet.)

So anyway, one day he asked me if I had an email address. I scratched my head and said, "Yeah, I guess so, why?" He said, "So I can send you an email". My mind was blown. I said, "YOU can send ME an email?" He said, "Yes, anyone can if both you and they have an email address". I didn't even know what my email address WAS. I had only just learned the word 'email' much less anything else about it, so I had to go look it up. I gave it to him and he sent me my very first external email. From that day on he sent me an email pretty much every day for the rest of his life. He died in April of 2020.

I then told my best friend, who was working in academia and we also started corresponding via email. 

My parents were lucky enough to belong to a senior community center that gave classes in computers. And that's how they learned all about email in 1993 before I even knew that much about it myself!

3 hours ago, ABay said:

Going back to Bros and Facebook=internet...it does seem to surprise some that the internet pre-dates the world wide web and the two aren't synonymous.

If you were online in He Older Days, did you prefer your text in green, orange, or white?

Yes, as one who was sending email before the WWW, I'm aware of that. Remember Usenet? I was using that to transfer files to other universities back in the '80s when I worked in academia.

I preferred orange and back then all my text was orange, thankfully.

[Yeah No]

1 hour ago, shapeshifter said:

I saw this on FB:

“It helps if you imagine autocorrect as a tiny little elf in your phone who's trying so hard to be helpful but is in fact quite drunk.”
(attributed to Michael Marshall Smith)

Speaking of old time computer stuff, this reminded me of that annoying smiley paper clip in Microsoft Office that gave hints and tips under the guise of trying to be helpful, but was just obnoxiously annoying, and all with a smile no less, LOL. I remember everyone HATED it (me too) and did what they could to get rid of it before driven to acts of destruction, LOL. 

[Salacious Kitty]

Clippy! 

So annoying. 😂

[Absolom]

I had a cat who was determined to catch and eradicate Clippy.  Every time the cat saw that thing, he went for it.  

Now who remembers dial-up?  Seating the phone in the acoustic coupler?

Arpanet? 

Edited April 14 by Absolom

[Soapy Goddess]

21 hours ago, Quof said:

My mother still insists on sending email to a person's "email id". 

She cannot wrap her head around the fact that one sends mail to an address.

By any chance is she a Prodigy alum?

[Anduin]

3 hours ago, Absolom said:

I had a cat who was determined to catch and eradicate Clippy.  Every time the cat saw that thing, he went for it.  

Now who remembers dial-up?  Seating the phone in the acoustic coupler?

Arpanet? 

I know the coupler from the Matrix movies, but thankfully it was a little before my time. Just looks unwieldy.

[shapeshifter]

My first computer didn't have a hard drive.
It had 1 slot for two 5¼" discs. One booted the machine, the other had the program to process words and record files.

Similar to this: ancientelectronics.wordpress.com/2020/12/

 

[EtheltoTillie]

1 hour ago, shapeshifter said:

My first computer didn't have a hard drive.
It had 1 slot for two 5¼" discs. One booted the machine, the other had the program to process words and record files.

Similar to this: ancientelectronics.wordpress.com/2020/12/

 

We had this in the late ‘80s at Ladies’ Home Journal. We had to use sneaker net to transfer files to other editors or the typesetting person who would code for fonts. They were switching to WYSIWYG and primitive networks when I left for law school in 1992.

Also we printed on that paper with holes on the sides. 

[lookeyloo]

We had a Commodore computer pre www and internet.  Then graduated to a brand I can't remember.  Then later came a Dell computer and  dialup.  I still use AOL for email mostly.  I have a gmail account too but don't like it.  I am old but love all the technology.  I am not interested in going off grid.  My stuff is out there.  Too late for that.  But, I am also not "stupid" in that I have different passwords and don't leave myself logged in and don't use computers not in my own house.  my iPhone needs a passcode which isn't 1234, haha.

[Yeah No]

7 hours ago, Absolom said:

I had a cat who was determined to catch and eradicate Clippy.  Every time the cat saw that thing, he went for it.  

Now who remembers dial-up?  Seating the phone in the acoustic coupler?

Arpanet? 

I do, except it looked a little more modern than that. I couldn't find a photo that resembled it. It looked like a sleek black 1980s answering machine with a place to put the phone receiver. This was in the early 1980s. In the later 80s it was replaced with a more modern modem. I remember the sound of it connecting. I didn't hear that sound again until I owned my own PC years later.

2 hours ago, shapeshifter said:

My first computer didn't have a hard drive.
It had 1 slot for two 5¼" discs. One booted the machine, the other had the program to process words and record files.

Similar to this: ancientelectronics.wordpress.com/2020/12/

Wow. I didn't own a PC until 1996 when my new boss at the time gave me an old one he had hanging around at home. He was an IT guy so he admittedly had a lot of old PCs around, LOL. I had to figure out how to get it up and running myself. Fortunately I had a friend that was an IT person who set it up for me. But it was still a learning process. As I'm sure you remember, computers didn't practically set themselves up back then like they do now. It involved using c prompts and knowing what command lines to enter.

I remember being introduced to the WWW by that boss in 1996 at work. That was absolutely amazing. The internet was very small back then and mostly populated by academics. Everyone was so taken with it that the boss started logging how many "page hits" we made to keep us from spending more time surfing than working, LOL.

In the 80s I worked on a mainframe computer as was the thing back then at universities. We had a bank of terminals on one wall in the office. The concept of putting a CRT terminal on our desks didn't arise until the mid 80s when the they became smaller. At that point we really needed them on our desks as we were spending more time at that terminal wall than at our desks.

[PRgal]

8 hours ago, Absolom said:

I had a cat who was determined to catch and eradicate Clippy.  Every time the cat saw that thing, he went for it.  

Now who remembers dial-up?  Seating the phone in the acoustic coupler?

Arpanet? 

Our internet was connected to our home fax number (remember those?) because my dad's work would often send him stuff at home (he was sort of on a hybrid schedule some 30 years before it was a "thing").  So yeah, I'd lose connection whenever my dad got a fax!  We had high speed at school and was glad when I went to university because there was ZERO disruption online.  

[Dimity]

My husband and I were relatively late to the home computer scene.  We both worked with computers all day and saw no reason to have one at home.  The main reason we got one was because it became more and more obvious that our children were going to need to be computer savvy going forward.  Nintendo would only bring them so far.

I've often wondered though what would have happened with home computers if the Internet hadn't come along.  They still would have had their uses, of course, but I can see them being more like microwaves.  Handy to have around as long as the price had dropped considerably (our first home computer cost almost 3,000$) but not something that would be the centre of attention the way things are now.

[Browncoat]

I got my first computer, a Mac when I was in grad school in 1989ish.  It had one slot for a floppy, and no hard drive to speak of.  I had to get an external floppy drive to save any documents -- Word came on one floppy, and that went in the computer's drive.  My blank floppy went in the external drive.

It still beat using a typewriter, though.

[Dimity]

Just now, Browncoat said:

It still beat using a typewriter, though.

I got a selectric when I was in university.  You could backspace to erase mistakes!  Thought I'd died and gone to heaven.   I figured it could never get better than this 🙂.

[Browncoat]

Just now, Dimity said:

I got a selectric when I was in university.  You could backspace to erase mistakes!  Thought I'd died and gone to heaven.   I figured it could never get better than this 🙂.

One of my roommates in undergrad had one of those!  It was awesome.

[shapeshifter]

5 minutes ago, Browncoat said:

I got my first computer, a Mac when I was in grad school in 1989ish.  It had one slot for a floppy, and no hard drive to speak of.  I had to get an external floppy drive to save any documents -- Word came on one floppy, and that went in the computer's drive.  My blank floppy went in the external drive.

It still beat using a typewriter, though.

That's like the IBM I described above. 
I bought mine used from a coworker when I went back to school after my divorce. 
Later I gifted it to someone else when I was gifted one with a color monitor running Windows 3.0.
I spent a couple of hours creating this picture with the mouse in paint.
My kids' dinner was later that evening, LOL. 
The next evening I made another image, but the hard drive wasn't big enough and it couldn't be saved.

[PRgal]

My mother worked in IT so we got a computer relatively early (1986 or 1987), a DOS machine.  It also came with BASIC and I remember logging into a program called Samples where there was a program that played music (it had a few selections.  You pressed A or something like that to hear a really badly played song).  We also had PrintShop (where I wasn't allowed to print banners because it used up way too much paper on our dot matrix) and a few games.  That machine lasted us about six years!!  I even had Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego on it!

[shapeshifter]

I just renewed my driver's license online in Western NY for $94.50!!!
Oh well. It should be good for 4 more years. 
I think it costs a bit more because it's a "Real ID" license? 

[EtheltoTillie]

20 minutes ago, shapeshifter said:

I just renewed my driver's license online in Western NY for $94.50!!!
Oh well. It should be good for 4 more years. 
I think it costs a bit more because it's a "Real ID" license? 

I thought the NY licenses were good for 10 years . . .  I have to check into this. 

Yes, my "enhanced" license obtained in 2019 is good until 2028. 

[Browncoat]

3 hours ago, shapeshifter said:

I just renewed my driver's license online in Western NY for $94.50!!!
Oh well. It should be good for 4 more years. 
I think it costs a bit more because it's a "Real ID" license? 

Mine expires this year, and I'm upgrading to a Real ID.  But I have to go in person and prove my identity with a passport and a utility bill and I don't know what else.  It better last me more than four years, for all this drama!

[shapeshifter]

42 minutes ago, EtheltoTillie said:

I thought the NY licenses were good for 10 years . . .  I have to check into this. 

Yes, my "enhanced" license obtained in 2019 is good until 2028. 

This page says 8 years:
https://www.iihs.org/topics/older-drivers/license-renewal-laws-table
But I got mine in 2021 when I moved here, and it was expiring this year, which is only 4 years. 
Maybe my Illinois license was expiring in 2025 so they went with that date??
The confirmation email says "YOU CANNOT CANCEL THIS TRANSACTION."

The local DMV is not taking phone calls anymore, but the State is.
I'll try to call them tomorrow, but I'm on grandma duty for my 3-year-old Lambchop #1, so it might have to wait until Wednesday.

[ECM1231]

I wound up getting the Enhanced ID, rather than the Real ID. I think it cost $30 more. I'll still need a passport to fly into Canada and Mexico, but I think with the Enhanced ID, I can use it for cruise entry and driving into those 2 countries, instead of a passport. My passport has expired.

[EtheltoTillie]

Oy trying to call DMV. Good luck @shapeshifter  let us know what you find out. It’s been brutal lately with the deadline for new licenses. 

[ABay]

I'm sticking with my passport and a standard license. A passport is good for all flights, domestic and international, and crossing into Canada by car.

[tearknee]

Quote

 

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Biggs, J.B. & Moore, P.J. 1993. The Process of Learning, 3rd ed., Prentice-Hall, Sydney.

Boomer, G.,  Lester, N.,  O'Nore, C. & Cook, J. (eds) 1996. Negotiating for the Curriculum - Educating for the 21st Century, The Falmer Press, London. 

Brown, L. 1987. ‘Integration: A Life with Dignity’, in Education Victoria, Ministry of Education, Melbourne.

Cole, P.G. & Chan, L. 1990. Methods and Strategies for Special Education, Prentice-Hall of Australia, Sydney.

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Finkelstein,V. July 1992. New Internationalist, in Richmond,C.1999. UNE Resource Booklet EDST 383, pp.13-18.

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Gearheart, B.R., Weishahn, M.W., & Gearheart, C.J. 1992. 5th ed., The Exceptional Child in the Regular  Classroom, MacMillan, New York.

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Mahler, M.S. & Furer, M. & Settlage, C.F. ‘Severe Emotional Disturbances in Childhood: Psychosis’, in  Arieti, S. (ed.) 1959. American Handbook of Psychiatry, Basic Books, New York.

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        Unit Number: 

        Student: 

Student  Number:  

Assignment One

*Extension granted.

Assignment One:

Alternative  (A)

1.    Watch both videos.

Video 1.  “ Rainman” (1988).

Video 2.  “As Good as It Gets” (1997).

2.    Critically Analyse the social construction of the disability/issue in each of the movies in the following ways:
What are the similarities?
What are the differences?

Hypothesize possible reasons for these similarities and differences and relate these to your readings.  (2000 words)

In the next section take the position of a film director.  You are being interviewed subsequent to the release of your movie relating to the same disability/issue.
Explain your concepts from a values perspective.  (1000 words)

    1.

The central disability examined in both “Rainman” (1988) and “As Good as It Gets” (1997) is autism spectrum disorder.  The films examine how people in society relate to and deal with those who are categorized with this label, and the struggle this can mean for both.
“Rainman” is ostensibly the story of a young man, Charlie, who discovers that he has an older brother Raymond, described as a “high-functioning autistic/ idiot savant” in the film, who has been (“voluntarily”) incarcerated in an institution for decades.  Such segregation of people with disabilities has been a common practice in western countries since the Industrial Revolution. The precipitating event for this situation is that Raymond turned a hot water tap on and could have burnt his (then) baby brother, Charlie.  (Even Charlie is shocked when he discovers that such a seemingly trivial incident has resulted in his brother being permanently cast out of the family.)  

The film was made in 1988 in the U.S.A. at a time when the rights of most children with disabilities to an education, as far as possible in classes with their non-disabled peers, had recently been legally 
guaranteed.  In 1975 Public Law 94-142, named the ‘Education For All Handicapped Children Act’ promised such equal rights to education.  However, it was not until its third amendment in 1990, by which time it had been re-named the ‘Individuals with Disabilities Act’ that students with autism spectrum disorders were specifically included.  (Heward & Orlansky, 1992,19).
This delay seems to indicate the widespread prejudice held by many against such students.  This prejudice may help to explain why the word “autism” is never mentioned in the second film, “As Good As It Gets”.  Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder was probably considered to be less “threatening” to the masses, given that almost “normal” people commonly suffer from it, whereas autism has long suffered from a poor image.  Until recently the medical model held that autism was an indicator of childhood schizophrenia, and reputable textbooks for decades “blamed” the condition on “an emotionally cold mother”!           (Mahler, Furer & Settlage,1959, 819).  My experience in the mid-1970s working in a Sydney psychiatric hospital showed that such beliefs were still widely held by the medical profession.

“As Good As It Gets” is a film made almost a decade after “Rainman”, in 1997.  By this time most western countries had embraced the notion of the inclusion of people with disabilities “fully” into society, with varying degrees of success in practice.  We are not told that the central character, Melvin Udall, has Asperger’s Syndrome (A.S.), but he exhibits the classic symptoms.  People who have this syndrome exhibit characteristics which often include degrees of the following: normal to superior intelligence, a naïve or eccentric presentation, and a “social blindness” which presents as outspokenness and tactlessness, a lack of understanding of social behaviour, an inability to interpret body language and facial expressions, a lack of empathy whereby they may not understand their own feelings or those of others, and they consequently have severe difficulty in making friends, despite a strong wish to do so.  (Smallwood, 1995,5) Angry verbal utterances to peers are common in children with A.S. as a reaction to real or perceived social rejection, or misinterpretation of the behavior of peers.  This might partly explain Melvin’s verbal aggression.

We are told that Melvin has obsessive-compulsive disorder, which makes his life even more difficult, but which also reminds us that labels are only a guide to human behavior.  As we observe those around us, we can easily discover that it is clearly possible to experience more than one disability.  

I will make a list of similarities and differences in the social construction of the disability in each of the movies and suggest possible reasons for these differences.

Similarities:

•    Both Raymond Babbitt and Melvin Udall have communication difficulties.  Raymond rarely makes eye contact, and speaks in a manner which is repetitive, stilted, monotonal, and largely without emotion.  Raymond has extreme difficulty in participating meaningfully (to others) in a dialogue and rarely changes his facial expression.  It should be noted that Raymond clearly has never been encouraged or taught to behave differently due to his being institutionalized for most of his life.  This was not made clear in the film.

Melvin makes a kind of “deliberate” eye-contact (which has perhaps been taught to him) and speaks in a strange manner which seems to consist of aggressive phrases which he has memorized to protect himself and to keep people at bay.   We are able to see the agonizing difficulty Melvin experiences as the film progresses as he attempts to successfully communicate with Carol.  Thus, Melvin also has difficulty participating successfully in a dialogue, and, like Raymond, rarely changes his facial expression.  The behavior of both Raymond and Melvin is portrayed as “crazy” in both films.  The ending of “As Good as It Gets” would have been much more satisfying for me if, in addition to “getting his woman”, Melvin had been directed to real help for his communication problems – and the word “autism” had been used! 

Interestingly, although Raymond would generally be considered to be “more disabled” than Melvin, it could be argued that Melvin has a more difficult journey through life precisely because he is more intelligent and high functioning than Raymond is.  This is because Melvin is acutely aware of his difficulties, whereas although Raymond seems comfortable in his closed “safe” institutional environment, does he have any real quality of life?  A life devoid of choices and risks seems a barren life indeed.  The latter is not raised during 
the film.

•     Both Raymond and Melvin are socially isolated to varying degrees.
Raymond has been effectively isolated from society by being housed by others in the segregated setting of an institution.  Melvin, on the other hand, has isolated himself to a large extent, as a defense against the confusing behavior of other people towards him.  Both characters lack social competence, certainly as that concept is typically defined. (see Richmond, 1999, 37.)
  The film suggests that the reason that Melvin does not permit visitors into his apartment is related to his obsessive-compulsive disorder, but this is not supported because Melvin comes and goes from his apartment constantly.  Surely a person having a severe phobia about germs would not dream of eating at a crowded restaurant under any circumstances?  On the other hand, it is not unusual for a person with A.S. to have very definite and limited food choices, and repetitive compulsive behaviors which are very similar to obsessive-compulsive ones.  The difference being that people with A.S. have a rational basis for their behavior, and often change to different behaviors over time.

•    Both Raymond and Melvin have extraordinary positive talents.  Ironically, both Raymond’s “photographic” memory and superior mathematical ability, and Melvin’s similar memory and creative writing abilities are likely to be related to their autism.  Attwood argues that there are great advantages for those who employ the predominantly visual thinking of those with autism. (Attwood, 1998,126)  Attwood cites numerous examples of inventors, scientists, and artists, including Einstein, who either had A.S. or traits and characteristics associated with the syndrome. He even quotes Hans Asperger who states that: “…for success in science or art, a dash of autism is essential.” (Attwood,126-7) 
The film portrays Raymond’s extraordinary talents as useless in “the real world”, and not as evidence of his strengths as a human being.  After all, he is unable to calculate simple money transactions.  On the other hand, the film tells us that us that although Melvin is extraordinarily successful as a writer of romantic novels, his knowledge of romantic relationships is theoretical, and he is almost incapable of conducting such interpersonal relationships himself.

•    Both Raymond and Melvin practice elaborate rituals.  Ritualistic behavior, together with a strong resistance to change in routines is also characteristic of autism.  While Raymond’s rituals appear to fill his day, Melvin’s are no less ever-present.  The difference being that Melvin hates being trapped into his ritualistic behavior and seeks medical help, and Raymond has never been permitted or helped to discover that life is possible with less rituals.  

•    I believe that the social message being conveyed in both films can be found in a remark made by Simon, the gay artist, to his model in “As Good as It Gets”.  He said: “If you look at someone long enough, you discover their humanity.”   Both Raymond’s brother Charlie, and Melvin’s new friends Carol and Simon try very hard to find the person behind the surface behavior.  Simon uses a technique which is highly likely to be successful for teachers of children with A.S. – patience, not engaging or participating in Melvin’s tirades, and calm acceptance of him as a person.

Differences:

•    The essential difference between the social construction of the treatment of people with disabilities in the two films can be claimed to be the result of a profound shift in social and political attitudes towards people with disabilities over the time period.   In addition to a much more positive, supportive approach being characteristic (if not fully practiced) of the mid-1990s, we no longer automatically segregate people entirely from society simply because they are different, as was the case with Raymond.  
•    In relation to self-determination, Raymond was permitted none, and Melvin was forced to struggle to succeed in life with minimal support and understanding.  Perske (1972) (in Schloss, Alper & Jayne,1993, in UNE Resource Booklet 1999, 47-48) argues that “..to deny the right to make choices in an effort to protect the person with disabilities from risk…is to diminish their human dignity.”  There are a number of empirical studies which show that even those with severe disabilities can learn to make choices, and that such opportunities “..can meaningfully increase the quality of life” of the person with disabilities. (Schloss et al, UNE Resource Booklet, 1999,47).

•    The medical profession were the “experts” in “Rainman”, and we see this portrayed at the end of “Rainman” as Raymond is returned to the institution because it is “where he belongs”, and medical opinion must not be questioned.   Contrary to current practice, Raymond has not been taught how to modify his dysfunctional behavior, or to adapt to society at all.  As much ritualistic behavior and angry outbursts are claimed to be the result of stress, such meaningful assistance would enhance the functioning of the person with autism. (Attwood,1998,160-161).
  
In Melvin’s case, the medical profession seems to take the view that either he takes the medication prescribed, that is, “conforms”, or he will not be helped at all.  The medical profession, as represented in both films, make no claim that they can “cure” either Raymond or Melvin (with the possible exception of Melvin’s Doctor’s offer of a percentage chance of improvement if he takes a particular medication), yet in both films the medical profession has some control over the lives of the subjects.  In Raymond’s case, it is total control, and in Melvin’s case it is the suggestion that he has a “disease process” which can only be treated (even if unsuccessfully) by doctors.   Baird reminds us that the medical profession has a large economic stake in retaining control over people with disabilities despite the fact that that most of the problems such people face are social and environmental. (Baird,1999,4-5)

At least in the 1990s Melvin’s Doctor could not lock him away forever!  However, to be coldly realistic, today Raymond probably would be released from his institution onto the street with minimal support in most affluent countries.  So perhaps the key to a quality of life for every child is an inclusive education system absolutely committed to ensuring that all children have the best possible chance to develop and succeed in life.  Classes would need to be reconstructed so that “..all children representing the range of diversity present in our communities are welcome and provided with an appropriate, meaningful education.” (Giangreco, Baumgart,&Doyle,1999, 61).  We need, as Finkelstein argues: “..to create an environment where we can celebrate human difference!” (Finkelstein,1992,15).

At the close of both films, we see very different outcomes for Raymond and Melvin.  Melvin, who has had to survive in the world despite his problems, is a successful author of sixty-two romantic novels and financially independent.  He can make choices about his life and take risks.  Raymond on the other hand, is also wealthy but has virtually no control over his life.  Raymond is kept in a predictable, secure environment, but makes no choices and is not permitted to take risks.  The films do not effectively challenge the status quo, particularly for Raymond, and Melvin is “blamed” for his dysfunctional social behavior.

Part 2.  Interview.

Interviewer (I):  What is your film about? And what was your purpose in choosing such an off-putting subject as “autism”? Why do you feel strongly about this subject? 

Answer (A): My film is about the way we have treated our fellow humans with disabilities from before the Industrial Revolution to the present.  I chose to focus on autism because, despite an enormously influential equal rights movement over the past two decades in western democracies, those with autism are still largely segregated from the rest of us in society.  The injustice of this continuing situation makes me angry, so I decided to make a film about it.
Before the Industrial Revolution when most people lived in small, self-sufficient communities, people with disabilities were simply accepted and worked and lived much the same as everyone else. They performed what Silvers and his associates describe as “simple but necessary work in the household or on the farm”. (Silvers, Wasserman, & Mahowald,1998,26).

The Industrial Revolution brought with it cities, factories, and values such as competition, individual responsibility, increased productivity, and the fragmentation of supportive communities.  There was no place for the slower or inefficient worker, so “training centers” were established in order to “train” those with disabilities to be more productive.  Silvers and his colleagues tell us that these centers developed into custodial institutions by the mid-nineteenth century and attracted private and government funding “..in the name of sheltering the disabled, relieving the community of the burden of caring for them, and protecting the community from individuals who were too damaged to conduct themselves with proper moral constraint”. (Silvers et al,27).  This was the rationalization often used to justify the existence of segregated homes, schools and sheltered workshops.  Surely it is time to be rid of such antiquated institutions and practices?

Int: “But aren’t disabled people better off with their own kind?

A: That is the point!  We, human beings, are their own kind.  If we separate vast numbers of our fellow humans from ourselves because they are “different” from the “average” person, (whatever that is!) might we not be stifling individuality, creativity, even the diversity of the human race?  I am reminded that his teachers once described Albert Einstein, who is believed to have had characteristics of autism, as “Mentally slow, unsociable, and adrift forever in foolish dreams” (Summers,1977).
And don’t forget that the brilliant scientist, Stephen Hawking, and doubtless many other people with disabilities are leading full and productive lives.  Also, how absurd to group together people who cannot speak, supposedly to “educate” them?  People with significant communication difficulties would get much better models in a regular setting. 

Int:  But how can people with disabilities actually live “full and productive lives”? 

A: Danseco(1997,47) argues that people with disabilities should fully participate in all areas of their community life, and that many studies have shown that even people with severe and multiple disabilities can learn to make effective choices. Making choices and taking risks is the essence of human development and growth, even if we fail.

Int: But wouldn’t children and adults with disabilities such as autism cost a lot of money to support in schools and the workplace?

A: This is one of the most prevailing of the many myths associated with disability.  The opposite is the case.  Even back in 1987, when the Labor Government in Victoria were backing down from closing segregated schools, Fulcher attempted to tell us that children educated in segregated settings cost four times that of children in mainstream settings. (Fulcher,1987).  In other words, it is actually cheaper to include than exclude! 
  In relation to autism, it is a wide spectrum.  Some people will need ongoing support, others, periods of intensive support, but many will need only minimal support.  The point is that most of us need extra help at times throughout our lives, so why should we treat people with longer-term needs differently?   If people with disabilities functioned as fully included members of human societies for centuries, and we are now rich, educated, and sophisticated to a level beyond the imagination of our forebears, how can we possibly justify the continued exclusion of those allegedly “less perfect” people?

Int: Is now a good time for a film like yours to be presented to the public world-wide?

A: There is never a good time or a best time for films that challenge fixed beliefs based on fear, ignorance, prejudice, and flawed social values.   But time is running out for those people with disabilities who we continue to reject from society.
My film about autism is long overdue.  We now know that epilepsy is not caused by “evil spirits”, and that even a famous cricketer such as Tony Greig can have epilepsy!  Ignorance, fear and prejudice are almost universally condemned in our society as harmful.  Yet we continue to reserve certain disabilities as being impossible to deal with in an inclusive way.
The irony about autism and the treatment of those who exhibit traits of this spectrum are that we laugh at Basil Fawlty and Hyacinth Bucket, marvel at the odd contestants on ‘Mastermind’ and ‘Sale of the Century’, feel indulgent and even “protective”  of the “absent-minded professor”, and the “eccentric genius”, yet we are horrified if we are asked to include children with the label in our classrooms.

Therefore, I have deliberately made my film to be very funny and employed very popular actors.   Hopefully by the end of the film, many viewers will appreciate just what harmful experiences people who bear the label, “autism”, have to go through every day, entirely caused by our attitudes.   The film clearly has a message that inclusiveness is good, and that social justice is a most important value.

I: Thank you!

 

**********************************************************

      

 

[lookeyloo]

Our passports expire within a year and we are traveling in August, and even though they will still be in effect for six months, it will be close and we didn't want to take any chances. we did it on line, uploaded pictures, and have had three emails so far along the way, two from the consular office saying they got the applications, then they accepted our payment and then one from the State department saying they are in process and would take 4-6 weeks and let them know if we needed it sooner?  I can only think this is a mostly automated process because we have had passports and the only things that change are face wrinkles and white hair which they say doesn't matter because they use different "biometrics".   We have global entry too and here in Atlanta we look into a machine and then the fellow says "welcome home".  Very easy.  Usually no line.

[EtheltoTillie]

16 minutes ago, lookeyloo said:

Our passports expire within a year and we are traveling in August, and even though they will still be in effect for six months, it will be close and we didn't want to take any chances. we did it on line, uploaded pictures, and have had three emails so far along the way, two from the consular office saying they got the applications, then they accepted our payment and then one from the State department saying they are in process and would take 4-6 weeks and let them know if we needed it sooner?  I can only think this is a mostly automated process because we have had passports and the only things that change are face wrinkles and white hair which they say doesn't matter because they use different "biometrics".   We have global entry too and here in Atlanta we look into a machine and then the fellow says "welcome home".  Very easy.  Usually no line.

The online passport renewal is relatively new, I think. It’s a good change. 

[Ohiopirate02]

12 hours ago, ECM1231 said:

I wound up getting the Enhanced ID, rather than the Real ID. I think it cost $30 more. I'll still need a passport to fly into Canada and Mexico, but I think with the Enhanced ID, I can use it for cruise entry and driving into those 2 countries, instead of a passport. My passport has expired.

There is a law making its way through Congress right now that makes an Enhanced ID a necessity for those who want to vote, don't have a passport, and live in a state where it is offered. For the rest of us who do not live in the 4 states that offer the Enhanced ID we will need a passport to vote if our various documents like state issued IDs including Real IDs have a name that does not match our birth certificates.

[lookeyloo]

3 hours ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

There is a law making its way through Congress right now that makes an Enhanced ID a necessity for those who want to vote, don't have a passport, and live in a state where it is offered. For the rest of us who do not live in the 4 states that offer the Enhanced ID we will need a passport to vote if our various documents like state issued IDs including Real IDs have a name that does not match our birth certificates.

We have discussed this SAVE Act on the Feels thread.  Very voter suppression

[Is Everyone Gone]

My parents are pretty tech savvy too. My dad more than my mom, but my mom has an ipad, pays her bills online, Facetimes, etc. 

Something on my mind: YT has a lot of these "tour my tiny house" videos. They show a usually single older lady in a small house, which is just a tiny living room, a kitchen, and a tiny bedroom. Some loft space. 

How much are these tiny homes?

[Dimity]

33 minutes ago, Is Everyone Gone said:

How much are these tiny homes?

A relative of ours just sold hers, in Quebec, for $55k.  From the outside it basically looks like a big box.  On the inside though it is quite nice but when they say tiny they aren't kidding.  Also, and I imagine this is true most of the time, this does not include land.

[Is Everyone Gone]

11 hours ago, Dimity said:

A relative of ours just sold hers, in Quebec, for $55k.  From the outside it basically looks like a big box.  On the inside though it is quite nice but when they say tiny they aren't kidding.  Also, and I imagine this is true most of the time, this does not include land.

I've noticed that the sleeping spaces for them are usually in a loft or in an absolutely tiny area at the back of the house. Personally I like a more wide-open space where I sleep. Small sleeping spaces make me claustrophobic, and I live in a NYC apartment.

Edited April 16 by Is Everyone Gone