Chit-Chat: What's On Your Mind Today?

[Annber03]

My mom and I are planning to go to my sister's place tomorrow, 'cause she and her boyfriend have plans with his family today. So we've just been hanging out here at home and snacking and watching Thanksgiving-themed episodes of our favortie shows :D. And my mom's favorite team is playing later this evening, so she'll be watching that as well. 

[Is Everyone Gone]

Sigh. I'm trying to be patient with a friend of mine, but today I log into IG and she's posted no less than three separate stories about how thankful she is that she's "so hot and so fine."

Today she managed to drag her husband by saying "i'm so fine next to this fat head."

This is a common theme with her, her constant posting about her own beauty.

Edited November 28 by Is Everyone Gone

[shapeshifter]

2 hours ago, Is Everyone Gone said:

Sigh. I'm trying to be patient with a friend of mine,…

Perhaps she's just officially moved from "friend" status into "acquaintance"? 

[Cloud9Shopper]

I really wish I could communicate better to some of my family members that I don’t want “things” for Christmas. I’ll be 40 next year and I still get asked “what do you want for Christmas?” My grandmother today seemed disappointed that I didn’t want her to buy me a thing for my house that she could wrap and give me. 

The truth is, I really am just happy getting gift cards and money and I’m bored with both the rush of buying gifts and receiving them. I decided this year I was moving to buying gift cards and/or food gifts, depending on people’s preferences, but yet my family still won’t drop the gifting thing. I don’t want my relatives picking things for my house anymore…I’m at an age where I want to choose what I want and just want money and gift cards to go do that.

The shift started for me a few years ago. I just started to hate Christmas and all the pressure to buy gifts and rush around driving myself crazy wrapping them. I also saw how my mom stressed herself out shopping and wrapping and kept saying she would cut back or wanted to, and yet…the next year she was putting herself through the same stress and getting crankier in December. Making it simpler makes me enjoy the holiday at least a little more and happier that I’m cutting that stress for myself. (My mom is finally scaling back this year and I’m so relieved.)

I just wish I could broach this topic somehow with my family and not hurt someone’s feelings. My stepmom didn’t seem too put off; she agreed with me that adults don’t need more things for Christmas. But yet my dad’s side of the family as a whole still clings to this tradition of us sitting around and watching people open gifts. I don’t get it. 

Edited November 29 by Cloud9Shopper

[shapeshifter]

9 hours ago, Cloud9Shopper said:

I really wish I could communicate better to some of my family members that I don’t want “things” for Christmas. I’ll be 40 next year and I still get asked “what do you want for Christmas?” My grandmother today seemed disappointed that I didn’t want her to buy me a thing for my house that she could wrap and give me. 

The truth is, I really am just happy getting gift cards and money and I’m bored with both the rush of buying gifts and receiving them. I decided this year I was moving to buying gift cards and/or food gifts, depending on people’s preferences, but yet my family still won’t drop the gifting thing. I don’t want my relatives picking things for my house anymore…I’m at an age where I want to choose what I want and just want money and gift cards to go do that.

The shift started for me a few years ago. I just started to hate Christmas and all the pressure to buy gifts and rush around driving myself crazy wrapping them. I also saw how my mom stressed herself out shopping and wrapping and kept saying she would cut back or wanted to, and yet…the next year she was putting herself through the same stress and getting crankier in December. Making it simpler makes me enjoy the holiday at least a little more and happier that I’m cutting that stress for myself. (My mom is finally scaling back this year and I’m so relieved.)

I just wish I could broach this topic somehow with my family and not hurt someone’s feelings. My stepmom didn’t seem too put off; she agreed with me that adults don’t need more things for Christmas. But yet my dad’s side of the family as a whole still clings to this tradition of us sitting around and watching people open gifts. I don’t get it. 

This👆 post seems like an excellent first draft of what you can tell them, whether by snail mail holiday card, emailed PDF with seasonal borders, or in conversation. 
Of course, your final version will likely be shorter if it is in writing, and include personal expressions affection whether spoken or written.

If there are some judgements on their part about how you would use money, just stick to only wanting a card or email.

Quite possibly as they reach the stage where they realize all their own possessions are going to be a burden to someone (including themselves and you) they are just waiting for a sign that you do not need things from them anymore to feel loved and appreciated. (It didn't seem like you have explicitly mentioned to them yet that you'd rather not have things as gifts?)

Are some of them of the sort that you might request they instead make a donation in your name — perhaps to a group or cause you've mentioned before or could now mention? 
That might not make sense to you when you are a worthy cause who needs money, heh.
But if they go for it, perhaps they'll also send you some too.
Or you'll get a potholder. 🙃
But, hey, sometimes potholders come in handy.🖐️♨️🧤😉

[PRgal]

@Cloud9Shopper I wonder if it’s generational.  I’m a few years older than you (I’m 45) and I don’t want anything either.  Other than a break.  Which you can’t wrap.  I’m not big on spas, so a gift card to a fancy one won’t work.  I like restaurants but with a six year old, I’d rather be home.  A lot of people don’t really get it.  I have stuff.  My house has stuff.  

[Cloud9Shopper]

13 minutes ago, PRgal said:

@Cloud9Shopper I wonder if it’s generational.  I’m a few years older than you (I’m 45) and I don’t want anything either.  Other than a break.  Which you can’t wrap.  I’m not big on spas, so a gift card to a fancy one won’t work.  I like restaurants but with a six year old, I’d rather be home.  A lot of people don’t really get it.  I have stuff.  My house has stuff.  

It might be. Sometimes I also think my grandmother never accepted that I’m no longer a child. It’s not that I don’t love her, but I’m at the point where I don’t want relatives picking out my housewares and decorations. I moved out of my mom’s home five years ago; please just respect that I want to make these choices myself. (Also, in that time, I’ve accumulated enough things outside of the gift giving season anyway.) It’s not even because of my grandmother; I don’t want my mom, stepmom or sister making those decisions either. None of them will be living here so just let me decorate how I want and buy what I like!

Edited November 29 by Cloud9Shopper

[shapeshifter]

1 hour ago, PRgal said:

@Cloud9Shopper I wonder if it’s generational.  I’m a few years older than you (I’m 45) and I don’t want anything either.  Other than a break.  Which you can’t wrap.  I’m not big on spas, so a gift card to a fancy one won’t work.  I like restaurants but with a six year old, I’d rather be home.  A lot of people don’t really get it.  I have stuff.  My house has stuff.  

Definitely generational, but also lifestyle. I'm 71, but having moved 30+ times, all but 3 times without a partner, you know what I'd like as a gift? Someone to help me get rid of even more stuff. When it comes to Stuff, I'm more like a generation or 2 younger. Maybe it's also in part because my body is like a generation older than I am, and I can barely move anything anymore. Picture the quintessential Little Old Lady, but with 99% fewer tchotchkes.

 

 

47 minutes ago, Cloud9Shopper said:

Sometimes I also think my grandmother never accepted that I’m no longer a child.

Also it's her love language. Would she even know if you put the gift in a local consignment shop and got a few bucks for it?

Edited November 29 by shapeshifter

[Yeah No]

12 hours ago, Cloud9Shopper said:

I really wish I could communicate better to some of my family members that I don’t want “things” for Christmas. I’ll be 40 next year and I still get asked “what do you want for Christmas?” My grandmother today seemed disappointed that I didn’t want her to buy me a thing for my house that she could wrap and give me. 

The truth is, I really am just happy getting gift cards and money and I’m bored with both the rush of buying gifts and receiving them. I decided this year I was moving to buying gift cards and/or food gifts, depending on people’s preferences, but yet my family still won’t drop the gifting thing. I don’t want my relatives picking things for my house anymore…I’m at an age where I want to choose what I want and just want money and gift cards to go do that.

The shift started for me a few years ago. I just started to hate Christmas and all the pressure to buy gifts and rush around driving myself crazy wrapping them. I also saw how my mom stressed herself out shopping and wrapping and kept saying she would cut back or wanted to, and yet…the next year she was putting herself through the same stress and getting crankier in December. Making it simpler makes me enjoy the holiday at least a little more and happier that I’m cutting that stress for myself. (My mom is finally scaling back this year and I’m so relieved.)

I just wish I could broach this topic somehow with my family and not hurt someone’s feelings. My stepmom didn’t seem too put off; she agreed with me that adults don’t need more things for Christmas. But yet my dad’s side of the family as a whole still clings to this tradition of us sitting around and watching people open gifts. I don’t get it. 

I'm glad my and my husband's family were and are not like this. If we wanted to give gifts we gave experiences or memberships to something like Costco, or subscriptions to magazines (my Dad always gave me Consumer Reports), or other non-thingy things. And we wrapped them so it was still like opening a gift. I wouldn't have any problem steering them toward that kind of stuff but you know your family better than I do, LOL!

But I just had a completely opposite experience that ties in two generations and two sets of needs. Yesterday we went to my husband's nephew's house. He is exactly your age. He and his live in girlfriend invited us and other members of his family, including my husband's sister and her husband. This was the first time I'd ever been to his house. Thanks to the pandemic we were unable visit in recent years and last year he went to his girlfriend's family's house. Also, they live about 2 and a half hours away from us in New York State.

Anyway, my husband has been telling me how his nephew shares his interest in old audio equipment (as did my father), records and vintage stuff of all kinds. I didn't really understand the extent of his interest until I saw his apartment. It was FULL of curious artifacts, knick knacks, cookware and furniture that took me back to my youth and childhood. It seems that he loves to peruse thrift stores for this stuff.

What REALLY touched me is seeing how he had restored and was using some of my father's old audio equipment. When my father died in 2020 we let him go over and pick through what was left before we had the place cleared out. I had saved the most treasured stuff myself, which now sits in tubs in my garage or is in my husband's home office (spare bedroom). He also had my mother's favorite camera from the 1950s sitting on a shelf as a knick knack (I still have more old cameras). I was so touched it brought me to tears.

So anyway, rather than fret over what to give him for Christmas now I will just go through my treasure trove of mementos and decide which ones I can spare that I know he would appreciate. This even extents to artwork, old DVDs, records, CDs, more audio equipment, glassware and cookware. So I guess not everyone your age is over getting things for the holidays, at least not my nephew!

1 hour ago, shapeshifter said:

Definitely generational, but also lifestyle. I'm 71, but having moved 30+ times, all but 3 times without a partner, you know what I'd like as a gift? Someone to help me get rid of even more stuff. When it comes to Stuff, I'm more like a generation or 2 younger. 

Yeah, at 66 I sometimes need help with that too. But now that I know my nephew appreciates all this stuff I feel better about giving some of it to him and knowing that should anything happen to me or my husband he will have first crack at it. As I have no children it means a lot to me to have someone in the younger generation in my husband's family to give it to. And it will take care of my need to get rid of stuff at this age. I get rid of stuff a lot but with my father dying and having generations of stuff in his closets (my grandmother's and uncle's stuff too) there's now more to deal with.

Edited November 29 by Yeah No

[PRgal]

2 hours ago, Cloud9Shopper said:

It might be. Sometimes I also think my grandmother never accepted that I’m no longer a child. It’s not that I don’t love her, but I’m at the point where I don’t want relatives picking out my housewares and decorations. I moved out of my mom’s home five years ago; please just respect that I want to make these choices myself. (Also, in that time, I’ve accumulated enough things outside of the gift giving season anyway.) It’s not even because of my grandmother; I don’t want my mom, stepmom or sister making those decisions either. None of them will be living here so just let me decorate how I want and buy what I like!

This!  And I think it can be cultural too.  Are your parents or grandparents immigrants?  In some cultures, giving stuff, particularly food or heirlooms is a love language.  They don’t verbally say “I love you” for example.  Google “I love you Asian parents” or something like that and some of the videos are kind of hilarious.  And maybe sad.  There’s a disconnect between the generation raised here and older immigrant generations.  

[Ancaster]

14 hours ago, Cloud9Shopper said:

I really wish I could communicate better to some of my family members that I don’t want “things” for Christmas. I’ll be 40 next year and I still get asked “what do you want for Christmas?” My grandmother today seemed disappointed that I didn’t want her to buy me a thing for my house that she could wrap and give me. 

The truth is, I really am just happy getting gift cards and money and I’m bored with both the rush of buying gifts and receiving them. I decided this year I was moving to buying gift cards and/or food gifts, depending on people’s preferences, but yet my family still won’t drop the gifting thing. I don’t want my relatives picking things for my house anymore…I’m at an age where I want to choose what I want and just want money and gift cards to go do that.

The shift started for me a few years ago. I just started to hate Christmas and all the pressure to buy gifts and rush around driving myself crazy wrapping them. I also saw how my mom stressed herself out shopping and wrapping and kept saying she would cut back or wanted to, and yet…the next year she was putting herself through the same stress and getting crankier in December. Making it simpler makes me enjoy the holiday at least a little more and happier that I’m cutting that stress for myself. (My mom is finally scaling back this year and I’m so relieved.)

I just wish I could broach this topic somehow with my family and not hurt someone’s feelings. My stepmom didn’t seem too put off; she agreed with me that adults don’t need more things for Christmas. But yet my dad’s side of the family as a whole still clings to this tradition of us sitting around and watching people open gifts. I don’t get it. 

Could you suggest each family member giving one gift to another family member (pick names out of a hat in advance to see who gets whom).  That way you get to wrap one gift (if you want), and any family that still wants to go hog wild over wrapped gift giving within their own immediate family can.

[PRgal]

1 hour ago, Ancaster said:

Could you suggest each family member giving one gift to another family member (pick names out of a hat in advance to see who gets whom).  That way you get to wrap one gift (if you want), and any family that still wants to go hog wild over wrapped gift giving within their own immediate family can.

But what if @Cloud9Shopper ends up getting Grandma?

[Ancaster]

6 minutes ago, PRgal said:

But what if @Cloud9Shopper ends up getting Grandma?

Then she'll just have to suck it up!  (Pardon my French) 

At least @Cloud9Shopperwill know they have done their bit to reduce waste/crap/cheap foreign imports.

[PRgal]

12 minutes ago, Ancaster said:

Then she'll just have to suck it up!  (Pardon my French) 

At least @Cloud9Shopperwill know they have done their bit to reduce waste/crap/cheap foreign imports.

Actually, I meant if Grandma ends up picking @Cloud9Shopper, but people know what I mean :) 

[RealHousewife]

I hope it's okay to ask this here. I'm interested in getting some type of Nespresso or other coffee maker on Black Friday. I'm overwhelmed by all the options though! Do any of you use one/have any specific recommendations? I'm single and would only be making a couple cups of coffee each morning for myself (when I'm not working in the office). 

[PRgal]

22 minutes ago, RealHousewife said:

I hope it's okay to ask this here. I'm interested in getting some type of Nespresso or other coffee maker on Black Friday. I'm overwhelmed by all the options though! Do any of you use one/have any specific recommendations? I'm single and would only be making a couple cups of coffee each morning for myself (when I'm not working in the office). 

What about a French press?

[Caoimhe]

Nespresso if I want a normal coffee or an espresso, Keurig when I want flavours.  We also have a little Oxo pour over cup my husband has me make for him (stronger than the machines’ capsules), a French Press, and an Aeropress. The last two are miserable to clean so they never get used and with the pour over you have to wait for the water to boil which doesn’t appeal to me (and is why he tells me when to have the kettle boiled for his). We drink a LOT of coffee between us! 

Edited November 29 by Caoimhe

[PRgal]

Just now, Caoimhe said:

Nespresso if I want a normal coffee or an espresso, Keurig when I want flavours.  We also have a little Oxo pour over cup my husband has me make for him (stronger than the machines’ capsules), a French Press, and an Aeropress. The last two are miserable to clean so they never get used and with the pour over you have to wait for the water to boil which doesn’t appeal to me and is why he tells me when to have the kettle boiled for his. We drink a LOT of coffee between us! 

Nespresso has flavours but not as big of a selection.  Or it didn't four years ago.  They usually drop seasonal flavours around this time of year.  We have an espresso machine that takes beans in our house now so we don't use the Nespresso anymore.  

[Dimity]

18 hours ago, Cloud9Shopper said:

But yet my dad’s side of the family as a whole still clings to this tradition of us sitting around and watching people open gifts. I don’t get it. 

Couldn't you try to think of your participation in something that is important to your family as being part of your gift to them?  Instead of focusing on how you don't get it, perhaps acknowledge that this is how they celebrate and they are happy to include you.

[shapeshifter]

20 minutes ago, Dimity said:

Couldn't you try to think of your participation in something that is important to your family as being part of your gift to them?  Instead of focusing on how you don't get it, perhaps acknowledge that this is how they celebrate and they are happy to include you.

And then take the gifts to the resale shop on Monday.😉
But, if it was me, I'd want to at least express to them each year that I would rather do things differently, so if they ever notice you don't have the gifts, you're covered.
Plus, if you bring it up to the group, you might discover others agree.

Edited November 29 by shapeshifter

[Ancaster]

1 hour ago, RealHousewife said:

I hope it's okay to ask this here. I'm interested in getting some type of Nespresso or other coffee maker on Black Friday. I'm overwhelmed by all the options though! Do any of you use one/have any specific recommendations? I'm single and would only be making a couple cups of coffee each morning for myself (when I'm not working in the office). 

I use a ceramic pour over cone and an electric kettle.*  I've occasionally bought the pods for friends and I'm always struck by how expensive they seem.  I used to be bothered by the amount of plastic waste too, but I understand you can now buy reusable pods, which would also help with the cost.

 

* My most invaluable kitchen gadget, especially since I've found one that doesn't take hours to heat the water (in The States).   I have this blue one by Haden and for anyone who's interested and does Amazon, they have a similar one for $40 during Black Friday.

 

 

 

[SoMuchTV]

Well, I learned something new and potentially face-saving over Thanksgiving.  Did you know that when you assign a name to a group text on iPhone, it doesn't just change how it's displayed for you, it changes how everyone sees it?  I labeled a group text something like "HusbandDaughterSILOtherdaughter" without realizing that Otherdaughter's long distance significant other was also on it.  Fortunately the worst that happened was that he was subjected to news about traffic and weather several hours from where he is. 

So, don't rename that group text "Biddies from the dog park" or "Neighborhood busybodies" unless you want everyone to see it!

[Bastet]

I don't have an iPhone (and don't have any group texts), but if I did, that kind of naming is exactly the kind of thing I would do (especially neighborhood busybodies), so good to know.

[annzeepark914]

4 hours ago, RealHousewife said:

I hope it's okay to ask this here. I'm interested in getting some type of Nespresso or other coffee maker on Black Friday. I'm overwhelmed by all the options though! Do any of you use one/have any specific recommendations? I'm single and would only be making a couple cups of coffee each morning for myself (when I'm not working in the office). 

I'm sure I'm out of my league here, but as an "only one or two cup coffee drinker" here, I suggest the Hamilton Beach Single Serve. This is for the folks who are happy popping a K-cup of various brands of coffees into the machine.  I have no idea what Nespresso is so that should tell you something 😊

[PRgal]

The good thing about Nespresso is that they now have third party compatible capsules, at least for the standard machines.  Not sure about their Vertuo models

[BooksRule]

Jumping on the 'family exchanging Christmas gifts' bandwagon, for the last decade and a little more, it's been just my dad, us three 'kids', and my sister-in-law. We used to exchange 'wish lists' with each other (items that we wouldn't usually buy for ourselves) and we would each get my dad something useful that he could us out in the yard or maybe a gift card for the local big box home improvement store.  But a couple of years ago, my sister and I suggested to my brother and sis-in-law that we stop exchanging gifts for Christmas (and for birthdays) and just visit and eat lots of good food when we get together.  All of us have basically everything we need and could buy other things we desire. None of us have children of our own, so there aren't any little ones to buy for.  We did all agree that if we happen to find something cute or interesting at an estate sale or something that went with one of our collections (we all collect different things) we could hang on to that and give it to that person.  But nothing expensive.  Just a little item.  So far it's worked well.  I love the lack of pressure to shop for 'just the right thing' now (either in stores or online). 

On another topic, I finally had to turn the heat on for the first time this fall a few minutes ago.  It's going to get into the chilly 40s in my area tonight and for the next few days. I don't love really cold weather, but I do like a little cool and colder weather (especially living in an area that has summers in the 90s with humidity levels you could swim in). 

[Dimity]

Christmas gift giving has gotten easier for me, but sadly that's because my mother died and that meant not only did I stop buying things for her I also stopped doing my dad's shopping for her and her shopping for my dad.  I admit that used to add an extra level of stress to the holiday season but, without wishing to sound maudlin, I miss it.

[shapeshifter]

4 hours ago, Ancaster said:

My most invaluable kitchen gadget, especially since I've found one that doesn't take hours to heat the water (in The States).   I have this blue one by Haden and for anyone who's interested and does Amazon, they have a similar one for $40 during Black Friday.

 

 

 

On the outside chance that I'm not the only one on this thread with seemingly the world's hardest water with seemingly Martian levels of mineral content that coats the inside of an electric kettle faster than a Chicago winter ice storm, I've discovered that a tablespoonful of powdered, food grade citric acid in the kettle of water, brought to a boil, and allowed to sit for 20 minutes, removes all the mineral deposits and leaves it spotless.
The 5-lb. bag is on sale on Amazon right now: 
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B09QV4ZTGZ
but I still have most of mine because my daughter won't let me try it on their bathtub. 
Here's the 8oz. bag if you just want to try it out first, like I did:
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0BQP78VZQ

 

Shortly before I bought the citric acid powder, I bought this kettle, which has has no window to show how much water is in it but which also would get gunked up with minerals, neither does it have any other irregular surfaces inside to make it a bear to clean:
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0BZDFXLYX
However, it's large, and a bit heavy for me. If they ever make a smaller one, I'll get it. It's on sale right now, and, at least where I live, returning Amazon purchases is much easier than standing in line at any store.

Edited November 30 by shapeshifter

[StatisticalOutlier]

2 hours ago, BooksRule said:

We did all agree that if we happen to find something cute or interesting at an estate sale or something that went with one of our collections (we all collect different things) we could hang on to that and give it to that person. 

Better yet, send/give it to them when you find it, thereby divorcing the gift-giving from Christmas/birthdays entirely.  I think it's so much more thoughtful when I give someone something because seeing it made me think of them out of the blue. 

I've gotten off the hostess gift train, too.  I now tell people, "Unless you assign me something to bring, I am arriving empty handed" and I follow through. 

[Yeah No]

3 hours ago, annzeepark914 said:

I'm sure I'm out of my league here, but as an "only one or two cup coffee drinker" here, I suggest the Hamilton Beach Single Serve. This is for the folks who are happy popping a K-cup of various brands of coffees into the machine.  I have no idea what Nespresso is so that should tell you something 😊

This is so timely for me it's unbelievable! Having gone down the rabbit hole of trying to find a reliable non-Keurig K-cup machine this morning I'm only getting more confused. I bought a Keurig machine for my husband for Christmas last year and it stopped working yet again after two (yes TWO) warranty replacements. Yet another reason not to trust online reviews on Amazon - but I did notice that 15% of the reviews were 1 star or less and most of them had the same horror story. The number of such complaints is less on other models (about 10%) but I'm done with Keurig. Their customer service was horrible and both times we went through hell to get a replacement. 

None of the Hamilton Beaches get more than a 4 star review on Amazon. I really don't trust any reviews anymore but that's only making me more confused. I checked out Consumer Reports online and other review articles from trusted sources and all the machines they're recommending for reliability get even WORSE ratings for that on Amazon. Some got 21% one star reviews all saying the machine stopped working after a week or a month, etc. I'm already more skeptical of CR than I used to be based on experience. I'm sure it's a crap shoot but I'm usually not lucky with those sorts of things.

I give up. My husband has already given up and is using the Chemex. He'll make a big pot of coffee, put some in his thermal cup, then refrigerate the rest. He says it tastes better even after refrigeration than using a K-cup.

I have a rare sensitivity to a very specific acid that's found only in coffee and pretty much nothing else (coffee has a lot of rare acids in it), so I have to order low or no-acid coffee online. It comes in bean, ground and K-cup form. I have no other sensitivities to any acids commonly found in foods. I can eat coffee ice cream and desserts with coffee in them. It's only with a cup of coffee that I have the problem.

I stick mainly to tea, which I've been drinking since I was a little kid and love, so I'm OK, but I really love coffee so it sucks not being able to have it anywhere but home. I can have Frappucinos for some reason, although I stay away from them for dietary reasons. I heard cold brew was good for people with my issue but it didn't work for me, unfortunately.

[Yeah No]

4 hours ago, annzeepark914 said:

 I have no idea what Nespresso is so that should tell you something 😊

It's a K-cup machine that brews espresso in miniature pods. It comes in various strengths and flavors. I had one several years ago and used it every now and then before my sensitivity to coffee took a turn for the worse after my gallbladder removal. I used to get non-Nespresso mini-pods at Ocean State Job Lot (a New England discount chain) but when they no longer carried it I didn't want to pay the price for what I found online. I then realized it tasted just about the same to brew dark or espresso roast in regular K-cups or even regular ground coffee in a pour-over like Chemex. But I didn't have a top of the line Nespresso so maybe that's why there wasn't much difference in taste.

BTW, dark roast actually is milder to the stomach if acid is your issue than lighter roasts because the longer roasting cooks away some of the acidity. So that's why I was able to get away with espresso every now and then for a while, especially lattes which were so much milk anyway. But now, forget it. Oh well.

[EtheltoTillie]

11 hours ago, Ancaster said:

I use a ceramic pour over cone and an electric kettle.*  I've occasionally bought the pods for friends and I'm always struck by how expensive they seem.  I used to be bothered by the amount of plastic waste too, but I understand you can now buy reusable pods, which would also help with the cost.

 

* My most invaluable kitchen gadget, especially since I've found one that doesn't take hours to heat the water (in The States).   I have this blue one by Haden and for anyone who's interested and does Amazon, they have a similar one for $40 during Black Friday.

 

 

 

So would this be like the magical kettles we had in UK hotel rooms but you can’t buy anywhere to use in the US? 

I friend brought me a tiny tin of tea from Buckingham Palace, and it was really good!  

[shapeshifter]

11 hours ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

Better yet, send/give it to them when you find it, thereby divorcing the gift-giving from Christmas/birthdays entirely.  I think it's so much more thoughtful when I give someone something because seeing it made me think of them out of the blue.

I'm not sure that wouldn't trigger me into think that Christmas Giving/Spending has gotten set back so far in the calendar that "They" decided it should just be a year-round orgy of spending and wrapping and mailing, oh my!😵

🤣😉😊🥰
It does sound like a great idea, tho.

[shapeshifter]

6 hours ago, EtheltoTillie said:

friend brought me a tiny tin of tea from Buckingham Palace, and it was really good!  

I fell down a NYT WireCutter rabbit hole this morning featuring the "be$$t" teas. 
Being of a non-addictive personality type (except for chatting) I managed not to spend anything. 
Plus. A lot of the WireCutter stuff seems to be, well, crap.

But it makes sense that tea from f'in' Buckingham Palace would be amazing.

[Calvada]

My family used to exchange names, so you had one person to buy something for. Now we do a swap, where all the adults bring a gift, we pick numbers, go in order etc.  We have a rule a gift cannot be stolen more than three times.  Since we all have plenty of stuff, I always bring a consumable gift.  One year, I made up a basket that combined a couple kinds of cheese/sausage/crackers/bottle of wine etc.  I made a batch of chocolate truffles to add to the basket.  There's a local meat provider that does gift boxes, with a combination of steaks, chicken breasts, and pork chops.  That's always very popular; it usually gets stolen the maximum allowable number of times.  

I'm like others here; I don't want more stuff I probably won't use and almost certainly don't have the room to store.  I am at a point in my life where I'm trying to get rid of things, anticipating possibly downsizing in the next few years.  

Holiday shopping is not too bad for me.  Not having a husband, in-laws, children, both my parents are gone now all makes my list very short.  Even my nieces and nephews are all adults, so I don't buy for them other than the two youngest who are still in college, and those two need/want cash or something like an Amazon gift card.  I give my hair stylist money plus a bottle of wine.  My sister who does a lot for me always gets a Starbucks gift card and a bottle of brandy - she loves her coffee and old fashioneds!  As you can tell, my primary view on most gifts is whether the recipient can eat it or drink it.  

One of my friends has a daughter who is in her early 20s, in  her first apartment just starting out.  She told her mom she'd like a big package of TP, a big package of paper towels, and laundry detergent from Costco.  My friend thought that was boring, but I remember those days when money was so tight.  I would have loved it if someone had done that for me when I was the daughter's age.  Or gave me a gift box of meat!  

[Browncoat]

Before I had my own clothes washer and dryer, and when those machines took coins instead of tokens, one of my favorite things to receive was a roll or two of quarters.

[EtheltoTillie]

We have to give cash to the doormen and parking attendants.  I give something to the cleaning person and the hairstylist.  I don't have to buy actual stuff for anybody, thank goodness. 

[Quof]

Luckily I only have to buy for a couple of people.   

I had hoped to get something personal and support local businesses, but I'm immobile due to an accident a few weeks ago. So there will be no in person shopping, nor any Christmas baking from me.  I hate giving gift cards, but that may be what they all get, sent straight from Amazon.

My mother does not need a single thing, and each year I try to convince her to simply forego the entire exchange.   It stresses her out to try to buy something for me, and I work really hard to come up with some things she might enjoy (she doesn't enjoy much).  We don't see each other, just send gifts by mail/courier.  In recent years, I have convinced her to do less and less, so this year may be the year I truly do nothing.  As a concession to the season, I'm trying to find a local florist that will deliver an elaborately decorated fresh wreath for her front door.  

 

[Calvada]

A friend and I (we have known each other since our desks were side by side in first grade, so over 55 years) exchanged gifts for years, but a few years ago we mutually acknowledged that we didn't want to continue doing so.  Instead we make a donation to a charity the other one supports.  This year, she is donating in my name to my local food bank, and I am giving in her name to an organization in her community that provides transportation for the elderly.  

[EtheltoTillie]

We all should be glad we need not follow the Chanukah tradition of 8 nights of gifts. I know one person who used to do that with her three kids. And continued way past an appropriate age, I thought. 

Edited November 30 by EtheltoTillie

[StatisticalOutlier]

1 hour ago, EtheltoTillie said:

We all should be glad we need not follow the Chanukah tradition of 8 nights of gifts.

My siblings and I haven't given birthday presents to each other since we were kids.

But on my 50th birthday, my sister sent a package with 50 individually wrapped gifts in it.  Little things like a package of post-it notes, some postage stamps, a set of miniature Sharpies, trial-size foot cream, ChapStick--that sort of thing.  It was such fun to open them (and she said it was fun buying and wrapping them).

Plus this was almost 20 years ago, and Mr. Outlier still uses one of the bookmarks with a little duck on it.

I happened to be with her last Thanksgiving, and I noticed she had this thing you put bowls in in the microwave, and it acts like a form-fitting hot pad when you take the hot bowl out.  She wrapped one up for me for Christmas (not only that, she wrapped it in clear plastic with gold embossed stars on it and for the life of me I couldn't guess what it was).

This is the kind of gift-giving I can get behind:  zero percent obligation, and 100% thoughtfulness. 

[EtheltoTillie]

27 minutes ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

My siblings and I haven't given birthday presents to each other since we were kids.

But on my 50th birthday, my sister sent a package with 50 individually wrapped gifts in it.  Little things like a package of post-it notes, some postage stamps, a set of miniature Sharpies, trial-size foot cream, ChapStick--that sort of thing.  It was such fun to open them (and she said it was fun buying and wrapping them).

Plus this was almost 20 years ago, and Mr. Outlier still uses one of the bookmarks with a little duck on it.

I happened to be with her last Thanksgiving, and I noticed she had this thing you put bowls in in the microwave, and it acts like a form-fitting hot pad when you take the hot bowl out.  She wrapped one up for me for Christmas (not only that, she wrapped it in clear plastic with gold embossed stars on it and for the life of me I couldn't guess what it was).

This is the kind of gift-giving I can get behind:  zero percent obligation, and 100% thoughtfulness. 

That’s a great story. And in case anyone wondered that hot pad is called a bowl cozy. I’ve been wanting one of those. I think they also function like handles to help you lift the bowl. 

Edited December 1 by EtheltoTillie

[shapeshifter]

7 hours ago, EtheltoTillie said:

We have to give cash to the doormen and parking attendants.  I give something to the cleaning person and the hairstylist.  I don't have to buy actual stuff for anybody, thank goodness. 

I am the cleaning person and hairstylist, so that takes care of that, LOL.
For my 2¾-year old grandson who has more toys than most daycare centers (my daughter now puts a bunch in the basement and swaps them out every couple of weeks🙃)  I got a grandma from eBay for when we play with his FP house and Barn, which stays upstairs because the 10½ month-old plays with them too:

I also got him (from eBay) a plush fish like the one I have:

The daughter & son-in-law get an occasional house cleaner paid for by me (because I'm not able to do it anymore and they work a lot of hours and have 2 babies), the struggling daughter gets $$, the oldest is a conundrum. She's picky and refuses money. 
A few years ago my sister said we weren't doing gifts anymore, but sometimes she still sends something I don't want or need, which makes me more sensitive to my oldest daughter's aversion to gifts.

Edited December 1 by shapeshifter

[Bastet]

7 minutes ago, EtheltoTillie said:

And in case anyone wondered that hot pad is called a bowl cozy. I’ve been wanting one of those. I think they also function like handles to help you lift the bowl. 

Yep.  I have one, and like it.

[EtheltoTillie]

2 minutes ago, Bastet said:

Yep.  I have one, and like it.

I’ve never seen one in a store!  I have seen them on craft sites with instructions to make your own. I may have to make one. 

[Bastet]

6 minutes ago, EtheltoTillie said:

I’ve never seen one in a store!  I have seen them on craft sites with instructions to make your own. I may have to make one. 

Mine is silicone.  I don't remember where I got it, as I've had it for years.

[EtheltoTillie]

2 minutes ago, Bastet said:

Mine is silicone.  I don't remember where I got it, as I've had it for years.

I see instructions for making them like a quilt, with cotton fabric and batting. 

[Quof]

26 minutes ago, shapeshifter said:

the 10¾-month-old

What? 

[shapeshifter]

40 minutes ago, Quof said:

What? 

He'll be 1-year-old mid-January. 
His brother tells everyone that he is 2¾ years old, and their birthdays and their mother's birthday are all within 3 days. 
Actually, yeah, the younger one is 10½ months old.
I changed it just now.

Edited December 1 by shapeshifter

[PRgal]

3 hours ago, EtheltoTillie said:

We all should be glad we need not follow the Chanukah tradition of 8 nights of gifts. I know one person who used to do that with her three kids. And continued way past an appropriate age, I thought. 

Not every family does that.  Some will give something on the first and then again on the last.  Two gifts.  Or on nights you see people you don't live with.