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S05.E01: Life After Lockup: Habitual Offenders


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They're dressed like they forgot it was their day to do community service and also film for the show.

They're too damned old to be dressing alike. Grow the hell up.

Edited by LEILANI2
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11 hours ago, MrBuhBye said:

Is it me or does Sara’s mom always seem cracked out?  

Yes, unfortunately, but I hear she's got mad skills installing sex swings!

3 hours ago, Keywestclubkid said:

The only upside is this episode no Britney and Marclino .. down side ugh I know they are coming up in future episodes 

The producers didn't want to spoil the premier episode!  😉

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I find Amber infuriating.  She continues to misrepresent what the doctor told her about pregnancy in relation to her liver, and then has five empty shot glasses in front of her every time we see her out.  
 

Why is the couple dressed as air traffic controllers the most well adjusted? 

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2 minutes ago, Drogo said:

I find Amber infuriating.  She continues to misrepresent what the doctor told her about pregnancy in relation to her liver, and then has five empty shot glasses in front of her every time we see her out.  
 

Why is the couple dressed as air traffic controllers the most well adjusted? 

I was arguing with Mrs. Anon that the only people I've ever known to have taken the time to freeze their vodka are hardcore alcoholics.  She thinks that such people wouldn't take the time to freeze it, but I think that only someone truly invested in finishing a bottle of vodka, which is easy enough to sip or mix on its own, would feel the need to make it even easier to drink.

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46 minutes ago, SemiCharmedLife said:

installing sex swings!

If he is standing still and she is swinging high I envision a broken peen.

23 minutes ago, Meowwww said:

Ok everyone.  Help me out here.  This recorded as a new episode last night.  But I saw it last week!  Was there a first look or something that I didn’t realize I watched?  

The first two segments were a sneak preview tacked on to last week’s episode.

5 minutes ago, Drogo said:

I find Amber infuriating.  She continues to misrepresent what the doctor told her about pregnancy in relation to her liver, and then has five empty shot glasses in front of her every time we see her out.  
 

Why is the couple dressed as air traffic controllers the most well adjusted? 

Also she claimed she was hammered and needed a lift then told TC she had just one and a half drinks?  Guess that’s like the drunk driver telling the state trooper he had two beers.

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35 minutes ago, SlutAssBitchAssHor said:

Derek's one sister is especially mean. I'm not sure if I missed it in the episode,  but on the preview she asked the shop owner if they had any scales.  You would think she'd have more compassion as someone who knows what it's like to be different. 

And she ain’t stick thin herself .. 

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27 minutes ago, SlutAssBitchAssHor said:

Derek's one sister is especially mean. I'm not sure if I missed it in the episode,  but on the preview she asked the shop owner if they had any scales.  You would think she'd have more compassion as someone who knows what it's like to be different. 

Derek has said his sisters ghosted him when he was in jail. Now that he's on TV, they are all about causing drama.  I do believe they are heinous people who are taking the cheapest shots possible going after Monique's weight.  They are also all about getting on TV; hence their outfit choices.  Everyone owns some normal clothes.  It is rare that you see someone out shopping in club or revealing bedroom attire.  In the last series, Big Ma seemed to be telling him to let that side of the family go if he wants to move forward and stay out of jail. 

There are things they could criticize about Monique.  Taking shots at her weight is playing to the cheap seats and cruel. Maybe shorter sis is jealous that Monique doesn't feel the need to wear butt pads?

24 minutes ago, anoninrva said:

I was arguing with Mrs. Anon that the only people I've ever known to have taken the time to freeze their vodka are hardcore alcoholics.  She thinks that such people wouldn't take the time to freeze it, but I think that only someone truly invested in finishing a bottle of vodka, which is easy enough to sip or mix on its own, would feel the need to make it even easier to drink.

So, I had a bottle of vodka in the freezer. . . . Took it out because I need the freezer space.  I'm PrincesspurrsALot, and I am a food hoarder.  (Okay, stocking up on frozen food because I am having surgery and will not have the stamina to cook).  I am not, however, an alcoholic.  I rarely drink.  

The Amber issue is a mess.  The way the doctor stated it on camera, she had additional risk, but he never said having a baby will kill you.  She would have had to give up the booze for the pregnancy.  I don't see that happening.  And regardless of whether she thinks meth was the cause of her liver issues, when people have major liver problems it is always recommended that they stop drinking.  We have seen her pound drinks so many times.  She is much too coherent five shots in to be a casual drinker.  

I wonder if she did a little Cameron math.  For Cameron, we saw him chug at least two bottles of sparkling wine; he claimed he had two drinks.  Maybe Amber thinks that since you could pour five shots into one beer glass, they count as one drink? Or maybe shots just don't count, so she is only considering mixed drinks?  It's the alcoholic version of broken cookies have no calories. 

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I really think Amber heard “Pick one: Baby or Booze” and didn’t think twice.   I just don’t like how she keeps waxing poetic about it to her family, the baby’s father, and worst of all us (since we’ve known from jump that’s not what the mf doctor said.)

Shawn remains useless.  But he’s always been, so really it’s hard to feel bad for any woman getting involved with him thinking it’ll be otherwise with her.  Smart men know a) your wife will only demand attention if you aren’t giving it to her, b) if she doesn’t get positive attention she’ll go for negative attention/fighting, and c) if none of the above work she will chuck your ass into the trash and find a guy who doesn’t need convincing. It’s not “if he wanted to he would” it’s “if he won’t, someone else will.”  Simple as that.  

I still like Blaine for Lindsay.  He’s definitely been through some hard times and made bad decisions, but he seems to have made good out of his life since then.  I really felt for both of them in this episode.  
 

Monique and Derek are two idiots.  We’re not ready at all but use no protection.  That checks out.

4 hours ago, MrBuhBye said:

Also she claimed she was hammered and needed a lift then told TC she had just one and a half drinks?

Speaking of TC, shout out to the Hi-C Ecto Cooler nightcap he poured for himself.  Who you gonna call? 

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3 hours ago, PrincessPurrsALot said:

There are things they could criticize about Monique.  Taking shots at her weight is playing to the cheap seats and cruel.

I thing it’s the only thing they believe they have “over her.”  They all have Poor life choices / Associates with criminals /  Ridiculous eyelashes / Terrible outfits in common.

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I'm disappointed in Amber-I really thought she'd escape this kind of chaos. She's made a lot of bad choices in the last 2 seasons and they're catching up to her. 

The other couples are very disposable to me- they're doing dumb things in order to collect their checks from Sharp.

Speaking of which, wonder how much those sad shabby little retailers get from them to allow filming in their premises. That paint store/hardware store in Corinth Mississippi had the jankiest collection of electrical cords draped over ceiling pipes and hanging down the walls. In most places, the city building inspector would call those 'fire hazards'.

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19 hours ago, Azanscrazyhair said:

Maybe I was half asleep,  but do Chance's credit cards have really small limits?  Were they all over the limit?

Yes, they all had really small limits and were either maxed out, had very little left or were past due.  Remember how he bragged about his excellent credit during his inaugural season?  Good times!

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On 2/25/2023 at 11:52 AM, MrBuhBye said:

If he is standing still and she is swinging high I envision a broken peen.

Gawd, we can only hope!

Lindsey is on her third partner on this show.  She's desperate for the paycheck and I truly believe that she thinks this exposure will lead to other opportunities.  Good luck, honey.

And, Sara "sneaking" out to meet her ex with the cameras rolling.  The show thinks we are so ignorant not to understand the absurdity of this, but here I am watching so . . .

Amber didn't want to have that kid but didn't want to upset the viewers so she concocted this "I could die" story.  Whatever.  She's one of those people who can't have a normal (i.e. boring) life so she creates drama.  Come to think of it, all of these characters are like this. 

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6 minutes ago, suzeecat said:

Lindsey is on her third partner on this show.  She's desperate for the paycheck and I truly believe that she thinks this exposure will lead to other opportunities.  Good luck, honey.

She is already pivoting back to Daonte if Blaine goes to prison.

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I hate the lawyer meetings that are clearly not at a lawyer's office. Pretty sure the 3d time appearance lady and her weird boyfriend took their meeting in my grandmother's dining room. What legitimate lawyer has a glass top desk with no drawers? Also, I'm not letting a guy that looks like that defend me in court. Clearly not a lawyer, fairly certain his clothes were borrowed, unkempt pony tail, I mean geez. What a disaster. 

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1 hour ago, Uncle JUICE said:

I hate the lawyer meetings that are clearly not at a lawyer's office. Pretty sure the 3d time appearance lady and her weird boyfriend took their meeting in my grandmother's dining room. What legitimate lawyer has a glass top desk with no drawers? Also, I'm not letting a guy that looks like that defend me in court. Clearly not a lawyer, fairly certain his clothes were borrowed, unkempt pony tail, I mean geez. What a disaster. 

Was that Penn from Penn and Teller?

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On 2/25/2023 at 12:40 PM, PrincessPurrsALot said:

 

Maybe Amber thinks that since you could pour five shots into one beer glass, they count as one drink? Or maybe shots just don't count, so she is only considering mixed drinks?  It's the alcoholic version of broken cookies have no calories. 

It doesn't? They do? 

EVERYTHING I KNEW WAS A LIE!

American Horror Story Liar GIF

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(edited)
On 2/25/2023 at 11:40 AM, PrincessPurrsALot said:

So, I had a bottle of vodka in the freezer. . . . Took it out because I need the freezer space.  I'm PrincesspurrsALot, and I am a food hoarder.  (Okay, stocking up on frozen food because I am having surgery and will not have the stamina to cook).  I am not, however, an alcoholic.  I rarely drink.  

The Amber issue is a mess.  The way the doctor stated it on camera, she had additional risk, but he never said having a baby will kill you.  She would have had to give up the booze for the pregnancy.  I don't see that happening.  And regardless of whether she thinks meth was the cause of her liver issues, when people have major liver problems it is always recommended that they stop drinking.  We have seen her pound drinks so many times.  She is much too coherent five shots in to be a casual drinker. 

Not to mention she'd also have to give up cigarettes to have a healthy pregnancy.

I also freeze vodka before drinking, despite rarely drinking at all.  I don't keep it in the freezer because it wastes space and electricity, just plan ahead and freeze it before drinking occasions.  :)

ETA: How do any of these people, or almost anyone in general, even afford cigarettes these days???  Prices are insane, almost $10 a pack in some states.

Edited by Boxer Woman
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20 hours ago, MrBuhBye said:

Thanks, even more insane than last time I looked up that info or heard about it from friends who smoke.  One friend in NY can still get them for just over $2/pack by buying from a Native Reservation but you have to live near one of those, know about it and be willing to go and buy there for those deals.  He says the Natives will gladly take anyone's money but aren't too friendly to outsiders and crime, other drug and alcohol use/abuse is high on the reservations so it's not all that safe to visit.

Other people I know who still smoke buy loose tobacco and roll their own, but I'll never understand doing any of this trouble and expense for a useless, unhealthy habit (and I used to smoke, over 20 years ago, didn't find it difficult to quit).

Also it isn't allowed in prisons AFAIK, so why would someone get out and then start that up again??  Shrug, their lives, glad it's not mine, for ever so many reasons.

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3 minutes ago, Boxer Woman said:

Also it isn't allowed in prisons AFAIK, so why would someone get out and then start that up again??  Shrug, their lives, glad it's not mine, for ever so many reasons.

I think some prisons allow it as a way to keep the inmates docile.

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Quote

 

Also it isn't allowed in prisons AFAIK, so why would someone get out and then start that up again??  Shrug, their lives, glad it's not mine, for ever so many reasons.

Quote

I think some prisons allow it as a way to keep the inmates docile.


 

I thought cigarettes were allowed and sold in commissary - and also were a major form of currency among inmates?

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17 hours ago, Elizzikra said:

I thought cigarettes were allowed and sold in commissary - and also were a major form of currency among inmates?

I know cigarettes were a major form of currency among inmates, based on books, TV shows and movies, but for some reason thought this had long ago stopped being allowed, similar to how when I was in high school we were allowed to smoke in the "smoke hall" area but have been told this stopped long ago in public schools, and now the legal tobacco buying age is 21 up from 18 I think, but obviously I'm pretty out of touch on all of this.  I can understand why prisons might want to allow tobacco both to keep inmates less bothered, and so they can get more money from them via commissary.

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Sara just continues making bad choices.  Between the two baby daddies not one ounce of substance.  One has a ton of kids he's never with and the other in rehab...again!

Chance is now going to rock Wall Street cleaning drive ways with his $400 power washer and quite the big shot telling his son he'll buy him a ticket to fly when neither of them have a dime!

Monique I kind of feel sorry for.  The only thing her little boyfriend has going for him is a penis that stands at attention 24/7 and anybody can jump on!

I guess it's true.  Love is blind!  😎

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