S06.E09: The Hill

[Guest]

16 hours ago, CrystalBlue said:

Lying by omission for weeks is really not a fair argument because we don't know what the LA job offer was to begin with.  Perhaps it was so ludicrous as to be considered for Kate, Toby and kids to live on that he dismissed it without a mention.  Of course he told his SF boss about it, but why?  Perhaps to enhance his loyalty to the new company instead of acting like his job there is just a stepping stone until an LA dream job comes up?  We don't know.

Also, Kate's reaction to hearing about the LA offer did her no favors in seeming like the reasonable party.  You can't put on a fake smile for a few minutes to do a graceful goodbye from your husband's boss' house?  No wonder he doesn't trust you to react reasonably.

[Cosmocrush]

On 4/3/2022 at 5:04 PM, Ohmo said:

I have no problem with that because I don't at all see it as what he wanted.  It's what is their reality, and he's tried over and over again to do it the soft way, and Kate isn't on board.  So, he went with "This needs to happen," and he's right. 

Maybe he was right  but it appears it costs him his marriage and his family so in the end I don't think he handled it very well.   There is the old saying, "Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?" 

[Guest]

10 minutes ago, Cosmocrush said:

Maybe he was right  but it appears it costs him his marriage and his family so in the end I don't think he handled it very well.   There is the old saying, "Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?" 

I don't think long term he would be happy with living apart from his kids and flying to see them every week.  It was a tough situation and there needed to be some compromise (such as maybe Kate putting off moving until her mom and Miguel moved or something).

[qtpye]

On 4/4/2022 at 11:55 AM, Crs97 said:

If Rebecca had talked about a back up plan for Kate’s singing career, Jack would have chided her for not believing in her daughter’s dream.

I sometimes think that Jack felt like if the women in his family became independent that they would just leave him to start their own lives....maybe like his mother?

His bizarre attitude towards Kate's future and coddling her every insecurity would help keep her near him, forever.

[smartymarty]

On 4/4/2022 at 5:05 PM, himela said:

That's why he got in all that trouble to find a new house (it's weird that he had the time to do that while working and traveling).

Toby said he went past that house when he runs and liked the look of it, so when a For Sale sign went up, he investigated. (A 5K run takes only about 1/2 an hour, so not lots of time on his part.)

On 4/5/2022 at 9:21 AM, deaja said:

Also, Kate's reaction to hearing about the LA offer did her no favors in seeming like the reasonable party.  You can't put on a fake smile for a few minutes to do a graceful goodbye from your husband's boss' house?  No wonder he doesn't trust you to react reasonably.

She should have said "You say our goodbyes, I'll wait for you outside."

[candall]

On 3/22/2022 at 9:11 PM, tennisgurl said:

Toby made a lot of mistakes, especially not telling Kate about the LA job offer, but it was hard to be on Kate’s side. Poor Kate, her husband is too stylish, too confident, in too good of shape, makes too much money, and wants to buy her a nice house in one of the fanciest cities in the country. The horror! Go back to almost dropping dead of a heart attack, Kate finds heart disease to be a real turn on! I don’t like that the show threw in the job offer, it seems like the show too badly wants us to be on Kate’s side when it seems like they’ve both made mistakes and grown apart.  

I'm not even done with the episode--just heard about "Toby turned down the offer in L.A."  Wtf?

That makes me mad.  I haven't seen anything in six seasons that says Toby would decide to screw over his sourpuss wife by making such a huge unilateral decision without discussing it first.  "We can be in L.A.  We can be in S.F.  Let's look at the pros and cons, light of my life."  That's standard Toby.  I mean, one time he messed up the baby's sleep schedule by not putting him down for a nap when he was supposed to. . . but I gave that the side-eye, too.

 

In other Toby news: 

--They did a great job re-creating "Before" Toby.

--I grind my teeth when Kate calls him "Tobe."

 

[Scout Finch]

On 3/23/2022 at 12:53 PM, ams1001 said:

Every holiday season when those ads start up I say I wish I had the kind of money that I could buy a luxury car (or two, like that one with the guy whose wife claims the one he meant to be for himself) without discussing it with my spouse.

I wouldn't do it, but I wish I had that kind of money.

I always wonder who these people are that can afford to buy cars as gifts. Also, can they adopt me?

[ams1001]

10 minutes ago, Scout Finch said:

I always wonder who these people are that can afford to buy cars as gifts. Also, can they adopt me?

My brother got a car for his 17th birthday. It was a Penny Racer. He also got a set of keys to my mom's car (as did I, when I got my license).

[Scarlett45]

On 4/6/2022 at 2:29 AM, qtpye said:

I sometimes think that Jack felt like if the women in his family became independent that they would just leave him to start their own lives....maybe like his mother?

His bizarre attitude towards Kate's future and coddling her every insecurity would help keep her near him, forever.

I could see that.

But to be fair to Jack, Kate was only 17 when he died. Plenty of parents coddle their 17years old kids in different ways. I blame Rebecca more for not encouraging her to do "something" besides work in a diner for a decade after Jack's death. A year or two of trying to "figure stuff out" okay, but that was a long time. Of course there is nothing wrong with restaurant work- honest work is honest work, but Kate had dreams of a career in music, as messed up as Kevin was, at least he was PURSUING something. 

I think Jack had some messed up ideas of love and parenting (good ones too), but I cannot really blame him with the models he was given. He made mistakes, but he consistently did TRY to give his kids a better life than he had (by working, paying attention to them, being engaged, showing their mother love), even in his drinking, he was never hateful or mean to them.

I think Kate had been "stuck" for a long time, and Toby came into her life at a time where she really was "love hungry" but wasn't in her best place. Add in a strong desire for a partner and kids, I can see how she jumped into marriage with him before she worked on herself first. And truthfully, she reminds me of her twin brother in that respect- men have a longer biological clock than women (so with Kevin its different) but they both want "love" so badly they need to love themselves a little bit more first.

[chocolatine]

1 hour ago, Scarlett45 said:

I blame Rebecca more for not encouraging her to do "something" besides work in a diner for a decade after Jack's death. A year or two of trying to "figure stuff out" okay, but that was a long time. Of course there is nothing wrong with restaurant work- honest work is honest work, but Kate had dreams of a career in music, as messed up as Kevin was, at least he was PURSUING something. 

Rebecca is someone who gave up on her own dream of a music career after *one* record label turned her down, so I wouldn't have expected anything from her in terms of motivating Kate. Rebecca walked on eggshells around Kate and made excuses for her.

[Scarlett45]

3 hours ago, chocolatine said:

Rebecca is someone who gave up on her own dream of a music career after *one* record label turned her down, so I wouldn't have expected anything from her in terms of motivating Kate. Rebecca walked on eggshells around Kate and made excuses for her.

That is true, I had not thought of that. 

 But Rebecca had met Jack, pretty quickly after that reject he proposed to her, her father also had resources she could tap if need be. Kate's father was deceased, and Rebecca was forced back into the work force. I would think she would've pressed Kate a little harder to be more financially stable, or at least TRY given how her life went.

Kevin struggled a lot, but Kevin did seem to be trying. Randall wasn't the kid you had to worry about with things like that. Kate just puttered for so long you can really see it now. I do think she is "coming into her own" but as people have said above, she now has TWO small children to think about, and a marriage she has to consider, if she had gone through this 5yrs ago, no one would blink twice.

[Natalie25]

I'm late watching and there's already so much that's been said, I don't have much to add regarding the story. Tbh I'm not super interested in this storyline and fast forwarded some of it.

But whoever styled Chrissy did a fantastic job, I thought she looked beautiful in every scene.

[millennium]

On 3/22/2022 at 10:07 PM, Spartan Girl said:

Good, I’m not the only one failing to sympathize with Kate.

Newsflash, Kate: everyone changes. Toby’s desire to find personal fulfillment with his job and himself is no different from yours. And for you to admit that you liked Toby back when he was overweight and a mess but at your beck and call at your convenience speaks more about you than him.

I really don’t think it’s fair that all of this is going to lead Kate in a happy new marriage with her boss while Toby winds up being a depressed mess in the flash forward.

Kate's a pill.

The problem with Kate, Randall, and to a slightly lesser degree Kevin, is that they can't thrive outside of the Pearson ecosystem.   And their Mother's no different.    Rebecca never stood a chance when it came to finding someone new after Jack's death.  Miguel immediately kept her tethered to the past by serving as a proxy Jack, thus dooming her to a lifetime inside the Pearson bubble -- no opportunities for a truly fresh start or some adventurous future, just an on-again/off-again folie a deux in which she and Miguel would spend their remaining years ruminating about Jack.  

Randall had a near meltdown when Beth began exploring aspects of life entirely unconnected to anything Pearson.   Likewise, Kate is ready to throw Toby to the wolves because he has somehow escaped the Pearson cult and is trying to liberate her and their kids too.   Kevin has the looks and money that would make him attractive to almost any woman he might fancy.  Does he date starlets, models, etc?  No.  Instead he nosedives into a messed-up relationship with a Pearson family groupie.  

How fitting that Kevin is building them a compound because the Pearsons are a cult.

Edited June 27, 2022 by millennium

[millennium]

On 4/6/2022 at 3:29 AM, qtpye said:

His bizarre attitude towards Kate's future and coddling her every insecurity would help keep her near him, forever.

He was the cult leader.

[Crs97]

I seem to recall Carol Burnett talking about someone taking a Mama’s Family sketch and playing it once for laughs and once without and how much the tone of the sketch changed (I, actually, always hated those mean-spirited sketches but others loved them).

 I am now picturing This is Us with ominous music rather than the nostalgic folk music we usually got; I can see how the whole show could change.  New premise: Pearsons are a cult.  Throw in brooding music and now it’s a cautionary tale!

[millennium]

2 hours ago, Crs97 said:

Throw in brooding music and now it’s a cautionary tale!

It would work because Jack is a humorless prick.   Even when he's doing the "good dad" routine he's phony as hell.   It's a schtick.  Practiced.  Performed.  Sometimes he even plays "good dad" to supplant any potential bad memories the kids may retain (see "The Sequin Fight" or "The Living Room Wedding Re-enactment" or "The Day Jack Made Ice Cream Sundaes So Kevin Wouldn't Remember How Dad Lost Him at His First Movie").

Add some foreboding background music and Jack would start looking like an incipient family annihilator.

Edited June 27, 2022 by millennium