S01:E11 Brad Mitzvah

[AgentRXS]

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Brad works through his nerves preparing for his bar mitzvah speech while Dean ends his friendship with Keisa when Charlene tells him he can’t be friends with other girls. Things come to a head when the whole group comes together to celebrate Brad’s bar mitzvah.

Original Air Date: January 12, 2022

[possibilities]

I liked Brad's story.

Wasn't thrilled with Dean's. I get the feeling the writers are not really respectful of girls. They seem to like Lillian, though.

[Pallida]

Even though I know when this is set, I didn’t fully think it through until Aunt Ruth gutted me. Amazing example of show, don’t tell. 

[bad things are bad]

Sweet episode. I wonder if Seventeen ever actually did a story telling girls not to allow opposite sex friendships.  Given the crap that girls were told in those days (my era), it would not surprise me 

[Bookish Jen]

9 hours ago, Pallida said:

Even though I know when this is set, I didn’t fully think it through until Aunt Ruth gutted me. Amazing example of show, don’t tell. 

When Aunt Ruth lovingly helped Dean put on the yarmulke, I wondered if she was a survivor of the Holocaust or had lost family members in the camps. That part chilled me. 

 

[Pallida]

1 hour ago, Bookish Jen said:

When Aunt Ruth lovingly helped Dean put on the yarmulke, I wondered if she was a survivor of the Holocaust or had lost family members in the camps. That part chilled me. 

 

They showed a tattooed number on her arm, so yes she was a survivor. Beautifully subtle. 

[Bookish Jen]

27 minutes ago, Pallida said:

They showed a tattooed number on her arm, so yes she was a survivor. Beautifully subtle. 

I can't believe I didn't notice it.

[Pallida]

1 hour ago, Bookish Jen said:

I can't believe I didn't notice it.

It could be really easy to miss depending on your screen! When she helps put the yarmulke on Dean, we see it briefly. This is a not great screen capture from my computer screen. Right after, they show Kim looking at it and recognition showing on her face.

 

[chitowngirl]

I’m glad Dean and Brad are still friends in the present day

[Bookish Jen]

1 hour ago, Pallida said:

It could be really easy to miss depending on your screen! When she helps put the yarmulke on Dean, we see it briefly. This is a not great screen capture from my computer screen. Right after, they show Kim looking at it and recognition showing on her face.

 

I was probably too far away from my TV.

[tennisgurl]

I am glad that Dean narrator confirmed that he and Brad stay friends, his plot was really sweet. Oh man, that bit with Aunt Ruth. Just so much without saying anything. 

Dean realizes that his sister is, in fact, a girl! Who knows how girls work!

[Sarah 103]

I love the idea of a storyline focused on Dean trying to navigate having a girlfriend and a girl who is a close friend. I love the idea of a storyline focused on the idea that Dean and Brad are both outsiders and especially a storyline that focuses on what it means for Brad to be Jewish in that time and place. I hate that they put those two plotlines together in the same episode. It didn't work for me at all. 

Dean is 12 or 13. He's not an idiot. In that time and place (1960s Alabama), I imagine that he would be well aware that racist white people exist. I can believe that Dean has never inside a synogague and Brad has never been inside a church. If Dean and Brad are as close friends as we have been lead to believe they are, religion would have come up as a topic. Not necessarily deep theological discussions, but basic stuff such as what is inside the building, what happens during a service, and similar topics.     

I get they wanted a big dramatic event, but starting towards the end of the school year (April 1968) seems like a huge mistake, especially since it's the first year the middle school was integrated. This episode raised so many questions that if they had done a different/better subplot the episode would have had more time to explore them. I have many, many questions that I am hoping the series answers at some point. (If they have already been answered and I forgot or missed it, please let me know)

Were Brad and Dean friends before they started going to school together? If not, did they become friends and bond because they were outsiders?  Did the parents become friends because thier kids were friends? I want to know if the parents have a link or connection to each other beyond thier children. 

[Empress1]

It was so cute when Dean's parents were like "aww, you have a girlfriend!" and Dean's dad gave him money because as a boyfriend he needed money at all times.

3 hours ago, tennisgurl said:

Oh man, that bit with Aunt Ruth. Just so much without saying anything. 

The flicker of realization on Kim's face was beautiful too. Very subtle.

Keisha has a gorgeous head of hair.

The whole "the enemy of my enemy is my friend" thing is SO middle school girl.

Edited January 14, 2022 by Empress1

[bybrandy]

It was so nice that we weren't beat over the head with it and that the bar mitzvah wasn't a horrible experience for them (aside from the bit that was of Dean's own making and because middle school is middle school.  

The first time I was invited to a Bar Mitzvah it was the child of a person who worked with my dad... or a friend of my dad... I don't know I was invited through my connection to my father and I was a small child so it was my first experience in a temple and I had been to Sunday school exactly one time when my parents were out of town and i was staying with some friends of theirs.   So my religious ceremony knowledge was sub zero.  So imagine my surprise that as we are driving in the car my father explains what's going to happen and we walk into the temple and he knows exactly where to get a head covering and how to wear it and the whole thing is a mystery to me.  Turns out all my dad's friends were Jewish and he'd been to many, many, many Bar Mitzvahs.  It was like he'd had this whole other life that didn't include me.  It should have been obvious to me but wasn't because I was a little kid.  

[Sarah 103]

21 hours ago, bybrandy said:

It was so nice that we weren't beat over the head with it and that the bar mitzvah wasn't a horrible experience for them (aside from the bit that was of Dean's own making and because middle school is middle school.  

I think that is part of my problem with the episode. Dean's love life/social life storyline could have happened at a school dance or a field trip. Brad's storyline, which should have been amazing and had much more of an emotional impact didn't get the time and space it needed. The 1980s Wonder Years often had episodes that focused on one of the other characters and Kevin was mostly observing. This should have been one of those episodes where Dean doesn't have a major storyline and another character takes the spotlight. 

[PRgal]

I didn't go to my first bar/bat mitzvah until I was an adult, despite having friends who were Jewish.  Well, more like acquaintances - the street I grew up on was predominantly Jewish, but I went to Catholic school after kindergarten.  So no invites (we were the kind of street where people basically didn't become friends with neighbours.  It was a very 1980s, new development kind of attitude).  Started a new school in middle school where there were MORE Jewish kids, but being the new girl, again, no invites.  I knew  A LOT about them from books and television though.  My best friend was Jewish at the time, but bat mitzvahs were not as common in her community (she came to Canada from Israel when she was five - it was only the boys who had theirs) in the early 90s.  I had a babysitter who was Jewish when I was four, but I didn't know anything about Judaism when I met her.  I actually didn't understand why she and her family didn't celebrate Christmas or ate pork (pork is the main kind of meat in the Cantonese speaking community.  When we say "yuk" (meat), we mean pork (usually))

[ahpny]

On 1/13/2022 at 1:00 PM, Pallida said:

They showed a tattooed number on her arm, so yes she was a survivor. Beautifully subtle. 

I had to rewind to be sure, but I after I was sure, I expected some heavy-handed comment or  cliché-risking speech from someone to drive the point home, but that surprisingly never came. Beautifully subtle indeed. Nothing more needed to be said, and the writers were smart enough to understand that and trust the audience. A fine example that often, more is indeed less.

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The 1980s Wonder Years often had episodes that focused on one of the other characters and Kevin was mostly observing.

Wonder Years 1.0 had a full episode with Kevin and Paul's respective 13th birthdays occurring close in time, but Paul's of course incident with his Bar Mitzvah. The plot was Kevin's family wasn't really making a fuss about Kevin's birthday to the degree Kevin wanted, but he ended up sort of celebrating with Paul through Paul's Bar Mitzvah anyway.

Edited January 27, 2022 by ahpny

[mrsbagnet]

23 hours ago, ahpny said:

Wonder Years 1.0 had a full episode with Kevin and Paul's respective 13th birthdays occurring close in time, but Paul's of course incident with his Bar Mitzvah. The plot was Kevin's family wasn't really making a fuss about Kevin's birthday to the degree Kevin wanted, but he ended up sort of celebrating with Paul through Paul's Bar Mitzvah anyway.

That's my favorite episode of the original The Wonder Years. I remember feeling so happy at the end when they were dancing together.

[Cherpumple]

On 1/26/2022 at 10:19 PM, ahpny said:

Wonder Years 1.0 had a full episode with Kevin and Paul's respective 13th birthdays occurring close in time, but Paul's of course incident with his Bar Mitzvah. The plot was Kevin's family wasn't really making a fuss about Kevin's birthday to the degree Kevin wanted, but he ended up sort of celebrating with Paul through Paul's Bar Mitzvah anyway.

I'm rewatching the original series and I just watched this episode the other day. I loved the scene when Kevin is at Paul's house for dinner and Paul's grandfather gives Paul the family Bible and talks about how important his Bar Mitzvah is. It choked me up a bit. Unfortunately, Kevin spends most of the episode being a total ass and refusing to go to the Bar Mitzvah because it had to be scheduled on the day of Kevin's actual birthday, but he finally gets his priorities straight and goes and has a great time. The last shot is of them all dancing to Bookends Theme by Simon and Garfunkel, which always makes me a little teary-eyed. The only thing that didn't make sense to me is that his parents seemed to have no problem with him initially deciding to skip it, even though they know what a big deal it is and how close Kevin and Paul are. It was just weird that his mom didn't pressure him to go.

Anyway, I liked this episode too. It wasn't quite a poignant as in the original, but I like Dean and Kim more than Kevin, so that was good.

[Ailianna]

I'm kind of glad I never watched the original. It allows me to enjoy this show without any comparison. I think the two, despite similarities, are in such totally different worlds considering the number of channels and options now compared to the 1980s, that how they put the show together has to be different.

I like Dean and Kim is a stealth star. 

[Lukeysboat]

I can’t recall —have we seen Dean and/or his family in church? This episode implied they might be Catholic and that surprised me. 

[Raja]

3 hours ago, Lukeysboat said:

I can’t recall —have we seen Dean and/or his family in church? This episode implied they might be Catholic and that surprised me. 

Episode 😚 is mostly set at their church 

Make that's episode 5 The Lock in. 

Edited March 31, 2022 by Raja
I just scanned the episode titles.

[Lukeysboat]

On 3/31/2022 at 5:21 PM, Raja said:

 

On 3/31/2022 at 2:07 PM, Lukeysboat said:

I can’t recall —have we seen Dean and/or his family in church? This episode implied they might be Catholic and that surprised me. 

Episode 😚 is mostly set at their church 

Make that's episode 5 The Lock in. 

 

That’s right. So here’s why I questioned it. Because in this Brad Mitzvah episode, Dean says, “Hey, where’s their Jesus on the cross?” referring to a crucifix. But most Protestant churches do not display a crucifix, and Dean’s church seems Protestant. So I was surprised he asked about that in particular. Just something that stood out to me. 

[Raja]

33 minutes ago, Lukeysboat said:

That’s right. So here’s why I questioned it. Because in this Brad Mitzvah episode, Dean says, “Hey, where’s their Jesus on the cross?” referring to a crucifix. But most Protestant churches do not display a crucifix, and Dean’s church seems Protestant. So I was surprised he asked about that in particular. Just something that stood out to me. 

The all churches look Catholic trope.

[Scarlett45]

On 1/13/2022 at 7:16 PM, Empress1 said:

It was so cute when Dean's parents were like "aww, you have a girlfriend!" and Dean's dad gave him money because as a boyfriend he needed money at all times.

The flicker of realization on Kim's face was beautiful too. Very subtle.

Keisha has a gorgeous head of hair.

The whole "the enemy of my enemy is my friend" thing is SO middle school girl.

I loved the hair and the dresses on the girls. They looked so precious!

Yes, I saw Kim observe Aunt Ruth’s branding, and the acknowledgment that she was a survivor. It was beautifully done.

I could relate to Dean’s parents being glad their child was invited and was getting this opportunity to learn about another culture, but wanting to send them in together and making sure they were prepared for ignorance and discrimination- 30yrs later my parents did the same thing. “Your friends may be welcoming, but their friends might not be.”