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Ugliest House In America - General Discussion


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The Neptune home from a few seasons ago has been toned down a lot and it's for sale.   I bet making it look normal cost way more than $150,000. 

The Midwest homes from this season are really ugly. 

The Ohio house is horrible.  I hate to think what that rug looks like underneath.   I can't believe anyone bought that place.  No way $150k will fix it

The dome home with the brown bathroom, and toilet facing a mirror is awful, but the main bedroom with an ensuite kitchen is just weird.  Maybe the main was built as a separate suite with the separate entrance?  There are at least three kitchens.  Carpeted bathroom walls are disgusting.   I don't think this one is fixable for the reno budget either. 

Cincinnati house looks normal from the outside.  The fireplace/fountain former alligator pit is horrible.   The light switches are strange, and the downstairs bath is strange too.  Exposed wiring in the downstair tub area is a total safety hazard.  The other bathroom is huge, and hideous.  The daughter's bedroom is so bad, with another alligator tank, and so many skylights, I believe what they said about impossible to control the temperature in there.  This one might be fixable for $150k. 

Winner is the dome home.   

Pacific Northwest is next. 

Seattle-So many steps!  Poor Retta. Mirrors everywhere, walls, ceilings.  patios are all rotting. It's hard to walk without slamming into a mirror. Sharp corners everywhere. There are mirror palmtree murals everywhere. The office is totally mirrored, and dangerous as hell.  the various carpets in the same area are awful. Bathroom was mirrored, and is now usable, but the homeowners have a tiny mirror. They have to be careful, because the wall mirrors and murals are very sharp. 

Sultan, WA--House is an octogon, on 6.7 acres of land.  House is a maze inside.    The- rooms are pie shaped. Rock walls everywhere, with mirrors. The pole in the center of the library is mirrored, and holds the entire building up. The dining room light holds 64 light bulbs.  Main bedroom and bath have 1500 sq ft, 40 vanity lights in the bathroom. There are 14 rooms in the basement, including a bathroom with 4 steps up to the toilet, and a cat washing station. 

West Richland, WA-along the Yakima River.  House looks more like a bomb shelter than a house.   Since there was a plutonium reactor here, I wonder if that's connected to the bomb shelter look of the house?    Homeowner's right, everything looks like end of season clearance.  Wall texture inside is hazardout.   Main bedroom has two sinks facing each other, in a bathroom island,  and toilet, and a claw foot tub right in the bedroom on carpet.  Kitchen is big, so many patterns, and everything needs replacing.  Stairs downstairs are curving and strnage, with a bomb shelter in the basement, with a curtain, not a blast door, and a stage room.   Next is a carpeted wall sprial staircase, with hideous carpet, and fake stained glass. Stair treads are only 4" deep. 

Winner is Seattle, the mirror house.  

 

 

 

  • Like 6
17 hours ago, chessiegal said:

Have these people ever tried to wash a cat? Although I've seen video, cats don't like water on them.

Fun fact: I once had a cat who absolutely loved water. He would jump up on the bathroom sink and purr in gratitude as I poured water over his little head. Such a weirdo. I miss him. However, it is true that most cats don't like water. Plus they're pretty good about keeping themselves clean, so the cat washing station was about as odd as the alligator pits.

I have to say that while I do enjoy this show, between the laughs there are some moments of absolute horror. It's like witnessing a perfect storm of bad architectural choices, ultra tacky interior design, and a complete disregard for safety. But at the same time you know that the previous owners were probably having the time of their lives as they manifested their "vision" - for lack of a better word. 

 

  • Like 8

The Southwest houses are epic in their uglyness.   The Texas house need wallpaper ripped down everywhere, panel drywalled over, doors replaced, and the carpet needs to be nuked from space.  The bathroom with the wood bars needs to be gutted.  The kitchen is hideous, and barely usable.   

Sedalia Colorado-looks nice from the outside, but the homeowners are standing on the roof, it has foot high grass and weeds on it.   Very industrial looking.  Kitchen and stove don't work in the small bar kitchen, living room is strange, saltillo tiles, and smooth concrete, lots of sliced brick accents, the main kitchen is very rustic, with rope accents on the cabinest.  Main bedroom is purple, with more brick accents and a cowhide closet doors (not fake cowhide but real).   Ensuite is no door, and really strange, with a mountain outline shower door, and the bathroom sink is a metal wash tub, with barbed wire decor. 

Jefferson Colorado-at almost 10,000 ft.  House is stucco, two story, very plain outside.   Living room has 3" thick red shag carpet, Lots of ugly wallpaper.  Heather bought the house for the view.   Shag carpet everywhere, lots of wood panelling, bad tile in the bathrooms, ugly chandeliers, orange tile in kitchen on floor and backsplash is awful.   The counter dishwasher is sitting on top of a woodstove.   Bathoom is a mosaic of blue tiles, on every surface, the bathroom is a steam room with a tiled pipe.   Windows are a bizarre three panes.  Stairs have red shag carpet, with treads too narrow for adult feet, and no railing on the dangerous side.   Boys bedroom is a stage coach with three bunks in it, they'll soon outgrow it, closet is small and has three stairs in it.  The main bedroom is green shag carpet, and everything is green in the room.   The view is lovely, the house is horrible.   Good luck getting contractors to work at this altitude. 

Winner is: Texas wins.    That house could be done for $150,000 in my opinion. 

  • Like 3

That barbed wire explosion house--one the the things the camera landed on and Rhetta complained about was the swag lamp with the "barbed wire" cord. But it was plugged into an outlet (albeit an outlet on the wall that was too high and stupid) and they could have just unplugged the hideous thing!

Our game is to watch these and figure out which one they can afford to redo. The Craftsman was the right choice this week, though I shudder to imagine what Alison Victoria and her shabby chic taste for s#&t might do to a Craftsman.

  • Like 5

This weeks group of horrors is North Region (great lakes area)

Hartford, WI-Stone Cold Castle-The house is sort of a castle immitation.   Everyone in the family is wearing a tiara. Jamie & Greg bought it for $380,000.   Nothing is updated inside.  It has a lot of brick and stone inside.  The living room looks like a rock dungeon.  FIreplace is open on all 4 sides.  Family room is awful, with another broken water featur.  Main bath is full of brick, with a column behind the toilet.   The guest bathroom tub/shower combo is mustard yellow.   Kitchen has lots of brick, and looks like a 1970's kitchen.  

St. Cloud, Minnesota, Joe & Jack's AmazingTechnicolor Prison   It's aqua/mint, with a round front door entrance.  Joe and Jack Two turrets on top.  $250,000, bought sight unseen six months ago. One turret is a banquette.   The house is solid concrete walls that will survive a tornado.  Living room is pink, in various shades, and the rug is blazind red. Kitchen looks like a 50's argyle floor diner, and a fold down ironing board.  Kitchen is small.  Dishwasher is below the wall oven.  Mail slot is above the kitchen counter.   Then ther's a bathroom right off the kitchen, 30 sq ft, the main bedroom is painted like the Texas flag.  No ensuite, only one tiny bath on the main floor.  Ice dams in the winter caused water damages in the main bedroom, that used their reno budget to fix.  .  Patio is only accessible from the outside.  Closet is very long and narrow.  Reeta is 5'8", other bathroom half bath is 5'6" doorway, and it's a circus theme, I guess for kids.   I think they could redo this one for $150,000

Lake Geneva, WI- Tartan Party Palace--     Jessica and Jeff have a really odd house.  It's big, but looks like 1970, with gold carpet, everything from remodels in the 1960s and 1970s.  70's paneling, lots of cabinets hanging from the ceiling.   Short bar fride.  Carpet is plaid and in the kitchen, and a built in table.  mean 15" between fridge and table.   Bathroom is all brown, with carpet, but nice tile under it.  No bathroom door on the main bathroom.  Basement is more carpet, wallpaper everywhere, another bar, Don't know if $150,000 will fix this one.  

Winner is Joe & Jack's Amazing Technicolor Prison.    I think this one could be done for $150,000. 

 

 

  • Like 8
On 5/6/2024 at 6:31 PM, CrazyInAlabama said:

 

St. Cloud, Minnesota, Joe & Jack's AmazingTechnicolor Prison   It's aqua/mint, with a round front door entrance.  Joe and Jack Two turrets on top.  $250,000, bought sight unseen six months ago. One turret is a banquette.   The house is solid concrete walls that will survive a tornado.  Living room is pink, in various shades, and the rug is blazind red. Kitchen looks like a 50's argyle floor diner, and a fold down ironing board.  Kitchen is small.  Dishwasher is below the wall oven.  Mail slot is above the kitchen counter.   Then ther's a bathroom right off the kitchen, 30 sq ft, the main bedroom is painted like the Texas flag.  No ensuite, only one tiny bath on the main floor.  Ice dams in the winter caused water damages in the main bedroom, that used their reno budget to fix.  .  Patio is only accessible from the outside.  Closet is very long and narrow.  Reeta is 5'8", other bathroom half bath is 5'6" doorway, and it's a circus theme, I guess for kids.   I think they could redo this one for $150,000

....

Winner is Joe & Jack's Amazing Technicolor Prison.    I think this one could be done for $150,000. 

 

 

I think this is a contender - I'd love to see Allison tell the fabulously gay couple that she's going to paint their house black.  She would have to remodel the bathrooms.

The thing I bolded - this is actually a good item, my mother had it in her kitchen.  Means your mail is delivered into your house - no staying in an outside mailbox that people can riffle through. Mail theft is one of the main causes of identify theft.   It's their own fault for putting the coffee maker too close to it.

  • Like 3
(edited)

I love mail slots, but only if they're not in the front door where someone can reach through and unlock the door.   

I agree this house could be remodeled.    Maybe the Texas house could be redone for that price, but I'm not sure.   

In my opinion, the Dome home and the Mirror Home couldn't be redone for the $150,000 budget. 

Northeast Ugly this week-

Coventry CT-Knight's Hall of SconcesLeesa's home is big.  huge living with lots of seating and a bar.  Some firepulls are gone, patchwork electric.  Kitchen is hideous, but a commercial kitchen.  it was a Knights of Columbus.  Sits on 15 acres, 7 exterior doors, bathroom still have Mens and Womens on the bathroom doors, exit signs, Everything leaks. Ceiling tiles are ugly, lots of ugly wall sconces.  Floor is old tile, with cigarette burn spots.  Basement is huge but a maze.  Second bathroom is Mens with a urinal, a shower no one wants to use, and it smells bad.  The soon to be main bedroom has a giant monkey with cymbals.

Wethersfield CT-Italian Tile & Stained Glass Shop   -Don and Ashlee, 4102 sq ft, looks normal, House looks Ashlee just welcomed twins and isn't even home from the hospital yet, House looks like 1970's and never updated. Daughter Mia is adorable.   Looks like a cross between the Mafia and a 70's Porn set.   Carpet is awful, tile is authentic, stained glass, Venetian aspect too.  Railings on stairs are awfu.  Fireplace is 2 stories and gigantic.   Entry to kitchen is a stone hallway. Wood shingles in the kitchen, cabinet doors on brick walls, ball trim on the cabinet shelves.  carpet in the kitchen, stove is so old, wall murals, wallpaper that sucks, more bad carpet.  basement is an entire apartment, but still old, ugly wallpaper, three kitchens.  

Putnam, CT-Me, My Shelf & I-There's a giant skeleton on the front lawn, house has tons of hooks, and shelves, a display room, They put the skeleton up, House was built in 1825.  Shelves were put over carpet.  Kitchen is bizarre, ceiling is a sunray popcorn ceiling, window was made smaller to add a display shelf.  Dining id yellow dropped ceiling, upstairs has many colors, insulation hanging loose, lots more pink and blue and yellow,  One bedroom can only be accessed through the other bedroom bathroom is peach and blue, and no walls up to the ceiling.    Third floor is blue, peach, yellow, and tons of shelves for display.  I don't think $150,000 is enough, house needs tons of insulation, and work. 

Winner is Italian Tile & Stained Glass Shop

Edited by CrazyInAlabama
  • Like 5
On 4/25/2024 at 5:34 PM, MagicEyes said:

I'm intensely envious of the octagon library! 

Me too! And didn’t Rhetta make a snarky comment about it like it was weird? These houses have enough weird and ugly things, no need to rag on the one thing that’s actually cool. But she also acted like a bidet was bizarre and ugly, so…

Why oh why do people buy these houses? Are they dirt cheap? Although if you have to put double the cost into it just to make it livable, are you saving money? And it’s one thing if they say they just bought it within the last 6 months or so, but some people have lived with carpeted bathroom and broken doors and dangerous decor elements for years. Why? Why? Why? Was this the only house for sale in town? I have little pity for these homeowners.

People go on Love It or List It or House Hunters or whatever and rip out perfectly decent 20 year old kitchens because they’re not perfect for the times, yet the Ugliest House contestants will live in tacky squalor for decades on the off chance they’ll be on tv and win a reno? Again, no pity.

  • Like 6
On 4/25/2024 at 6:34 PM, MagicEyes said:

I'm intensely envious of the octagon library! 

Me too! Having a two level library is my dream! Although, I did hate the mirror post and I didn't see an obvious place for some comfy reading chairs. 

I definitely thought the technicolor prison was the ugliest of its lot, but I'm a little dubious about $150,000 being enough. I feel like I've heard on other flipping shows that it's really hard to move cinderblock walls and I don't see how you can make a workable house without getting more space for the bath and kitchen. The upstairs scary circus bathroom is even worse, would dormering help since it's so low?

There seem to be a lot of bad 70s this year. I know money for a full reno is a lot for people to come up with, but it does seem like stripping wallpaper, painting paneling and replacing the terrible carpet (especially in the kitchen and bathrooms -ew) could be done without the fuss and cost of making a super modern open concept with a new kitchen. 

  • Like 5
17 hours ago, satrunrose said:

I feel like I've heard on other flipping shows that it's really hard to move cinderblock walls and I don't see how you can make a workable house without getting more space for the bath and kitchen.

That's what I had thought. One of the bathrooms had an ugly sewer stack pipe running through it. That's what you get when you have cinder block walls and no space to hide plumbing/electrical. All I can think to do is build out stud walls with drywall which will make the space even smaller.

 

  • Like 4
On 5/13/2024 at 10:28 PM, satrunrose said:

There seem to be a lot of bad 70s this year. I know money for a full reno is a lot for people to come up with, but it does seem like stripping wallpaper, painting paneling and replacing the terrible carpet (especially in the kitchen and bathrooms -ew) could be done without the fuss and cost of making a super modern open concept with a new kitchen. 

When I saw the ads for this show, I didn't realize it had been on for 5 seasons already so I binged it all at once. I think in doing it that way I've become more irritated by the people who just live with the things that could be easily fixed rather than fixing them. I like the guys with the green house, but they could have painted over the Texas flag on their cinder block wall.  There are little improvements many of them could have done to make things at least a little better. 

My house is from the 70s and about 4 years ago I had all the carpet pulled up and put in new flooring. Before I moved in I pulled wallpaper and painted many of the rooms. Since then I've painted other rooms. I will say, though, that a thing I liked when I first moved in (a 70's stove hood above my stove that floats in the middle of my open kitchen/living room space) I now hate because I hit my head on it so often. So I can also see something that they may have liked originally becoming a nuisance. 

  • Like 2
(edited)

Semifinalists are Kitchen, Dome from Ohio; Mirrors in Seattle, Craftsman Southwest, Joe and Jack's Technicolor Prison, from the North (St. Cloud, MN),  Italian Tile and Stained Glass Northeast.  (They always pick a 'winner' that they can redo for $150,000, not a surprise it's the Technicolor Prison). 

This season's Ugliest Home is   Joe and Jack's Amazing Technicolor Prison.     The two owners are overwhelmed, and so happy.   Alison wants to paint the exterior more neutral.     I love that since their house had a major flood in the main bedroom ceiling that took their reno budget, that they won the remodel. 

So far, I like A.V.'s ideas (I can't believe I said that).      The kitchen demo was a disaster, as Alison said one of the men injured his bathing suit area.    She wants to put wall coverings up (wallpaper).   The door out of the main bedroom sounds great.   And a new outdoor area, fenced for the puppies, and an outdoor kitchen, and screened.  Five bar stool seating in the kitchen, shaker cabinets. Floors will be LVP, tile bathrooms, tile backsplash. Several of the wallpapers are discontinued. 

So far, I love the tiled tub/shower, and the other tile.  The white with black trim exterior looks great, and the aqua/turquoise front door is cute.   The fireplace is not functional, and not safe, so they'll change it to a safer form, with gas logs, and I love the tile.    

I love the new kitchen, the wallpaper is OK. I like the new banquette upholstery on the dining nook.  I like the corner banquette upholstery, but not the three little round tables in front of them.   The two mannequins being dressed are interesting, dressed like Alison and Retta.    

The front porch flamingo is cute.   Joe and Jack seem thrilled.   I love the living room, kitchen, island, and dining.  

Edited by CrazyInAlabama
  • Like 4
6 hours ago, Soapy Goddess said:

Winner? What a joke!  I'm really starting to believe that the "winner" is strictly chosen by how far they can stretch 150K...and the ease of doing the "make over".

100%. Which makes sense. If it is only a budgeted amount of $150k they have to take what can legitimately been done within that budget. Like so much of that stone/cement would be the whole budget to pull down and replace with drywall and make it stable. 

  • Like 3
8 hours ago, Soapy Goddess said:

Winner? What a joke!  I'm really starting to believe that the "winner" is strictly chosen by how far they can stretch 150K...and the ease of doing the "make over".

All they did was add drywall and paint. And a concrete pad with scribble on it. The rest is cosmetic. Easy for Alison.

Of course they pick the one where they can make the biggest difference and produce a finished product.  I was convinced they would go for the Seattle house because once you remove the mirrors, it was in pretty good shape.

Here, they completely replaced a non-functional bathroom.  Plus with all the walls being made out of cinder blocks, when removed they had to do a lot of structural framing and support.

And Allison didn't paint it black!

 

  • Like 3

There is no way that is the ugliest house in that town, much less all of America. From the outside, the only ugly thing was the colour, which is an easy fix. It was a charming fairy tale house with beautiful arched wooden doors.

Why did they call it a “jail cell” house? Just because a few rooms had cinder block walls?

Inside, most of the ugly seemed to be the homeowners’ doing. Surely they could have painted the place themselves.

The end result was really nice, but they had a good house to work with.

  • Like 2

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