S9.E22: Helpful Not Helpless

[druzy]

Mackenzie struggles to keep her blood sugar under control and lashes out at Josh. Gary reaches out to a parenting coach for advice on Leah and Amber’s relationship. Cheyenne goes into the early stages of labor. Maci wants Taylor to see a therapist.

Airs November 9, 2021

[teapot]

7 hours ago, druzy said:

Mackenzie struggles to keep her blood sugar under control and lashes out at Josh. Gary reaches out to a parenting coach for advice on Leah and Amber’s relationship. Cheyenne goes into the early stages of labor. Maci wants Taylor to see a therapist.

Airs November 9, 2021

I hope it’s not the McKee’s parenting coach.  She was not even slightly helpful 

[Cinnabon]

14 minutes ago, teapot said:

I hope it’s not the McKee’s parenting coach.  She was not even slightly helpful 

Why don’t they hire actual, licensed mental health professionals?

[Soobs]

On 11/5/2021 at 11:38 PM, Cinnabon said:

Why don’t they hire actual, licensed mental health professionals?

My best guess is because the pros might advise the moms to quit the show.

[ginger90]

Clip:

 

 

 

[MargeGunderson]

2 hours ago, Soobs said:

My best guess is because the pros might advise the moms to quit the show.

Or the pros won’t let the therapy session be filmed or discussed on the show.

Edited November 10, 2021 by MargeGunderson

[ginger90]

Another clip:

https://www.instagram.com/p/CWErnv5jeXs/

[Chris Knight]

Dawn, the adoption shyster, should NOT be telling CateTy that they will be top of Carly's mind for weeks post-visit. That's insane. Carly is 12. Her world is her parents and brother, school, friends. Brandon and Teresa should not allow any contact. 

I wouldn't want to rent my house to CateTy and Company. 

Maci is such a snot. She evidently doesn't really care about Taylor's feelings of helplessness. Remind me please, she was not actually shot at the gas station, nor was she the intended target, right  ?

Type 1 diabetes is serious stuff. Mac needs to get a handle on this stat. She does have a lot going on. Did she say her dad also is diabetic  ?

I agree with Geary's parenting coach. Leah needs to feel validation. Forget Amber and her selfish needs. I fear that if Leah sees Amber and opens up to her, Amber will throw her over for the 1st remotely interesting dude who winks at her.

Ryder is the most loved child on this show !

 

[mrs ra]

Did we just witness Cate and Tyler yelling at Nova to leave them alone so they could mourn some more the loss of Carly?? Poor Nova. 

[Andyourlittledog2]

Maci, meet Taylor. Taylor, meet Maci. 

Seriously, do these two seem like a couple of married folks to anyone?  That hug at the end of their 'talk' there could not have been more uncomfortable if they had just met for the first time after a fender bender. And what do they do again? Taylor's 'busy' days were  watching/coaching his kids at sports and golfing (usually for betting).  What. Do. They. Do?  They seem like the most stressed out not really doing anything constructive people in the country.  Maci must be a delight to live with. Maybe that's Taylor's job?  Just staying on Maci's good side?

This is the first time I felt bad for Mac. It must be awful living with Type 1 diabetes, especially when it's hard to control.  It's like a sword of terrible consequences just hanging over your head all the time. Josh does seem terribly uncomfortable all the time. I hope it is just the cameras. I am an introvert and finding myself in a relationship with someone who films their life for a living would be one of my worst nightmares.

Nothing to say about Amber. I don't think there's any hope for her to have any self awareness or show any lack of selfishness toward anyone else. She needs to do what she is doing: live alone, study her college stuff, and talk endlessly to sympathetic listeners about her long-suffering misunderstood life.

I feel bad for Cate and Tyler. They gave up their child for adoption, not realizing that they would be able to make MTV money and could have kept her actually. No one knew then that TM would become a thing after 16+P. It's just a gaping wound for them that never heals really. I don't think their experience is the great advertisement for adoption that MTV and Dawn thought it was going to be.

Ryder sure is cute. And she knows she is loved and loves. She has a tremendous amount of security in her little life. I can't really stand Cheyenne so much but she and her family are doing very well by Ryder, that's for sure.

 

Edited November 10, 2021 by Andyourlittledog2

[eskimo]

Maci and Taylor chose to over schedule their kids activities, so please quit complaining about how tough it all is.  Bentley doesn't need to be playing two sports at once if it is interfering with quality family time.  Some people seem to think over scheduling their kids lives is a virtue.  It's not.   

While I'm not dismissing Maci's fear and issues with the shooting, it seems to be gas-station-specific.  Because if she really thought about it, she'd be afraid to go to a restaurant, grocery shopping, a movie, etc.  So maybe she should start by getting gas at another gas station for a while?  I get being at that one might bring up negative emotions.  And I do believe she was in danger of a stray bullet.  She was within range of the shot-out glass flying around, so getting hit was a threat.  Plus she didn't know this person's intentions.  Maybe he did want to kill anyone he could.  It wasn't the case, but she didn't know that and the fear was the same.  But I don't know if rehashing it for the camera is helpful. 

Poor Nova needed some extra hugs.  She was tired and emotional too.  Except she is a little girl and can't handle it the same.  It makes me sad when adults make excuses for their own emotions, but expect underdeveloped little kid brains to do better. 

I had hoped that Gary was on the edge of saying that maybe Leah shouldn't be filmed anymore.  Seems like he recognizes that she wants more privacy after being filmed her whole life, and that she's not comfortable with all this anymore.  So what are you going to do about that Gary?  You have total control on this.  Let's see what you're willing to sacrifice for Leah's well being. 

 

[Jeanne222]

Gary’s going to do what he’s always done. Nothing.   
Gary came from nothing then get mixed up with that nitwit Amber and had baby Leah.   That coupling was a disaster. 

But the frosting on the cake was the show and those beautiful checks. 

Who knew that Gary knew how to handle the money he was paid by the network and the child support check he receives each month from Amber. 

He bought property and I think he also has some rentals.  I suspect he has his chubby little fingers in other pies like stocks and investments.  And now his wife enters the high paying medical field. Depending on how smart she is and how dedicated she can take in more money for Gary to manage. 

It always makes me smile when Gary sits in his Lazy boy and pontificates!  Gary has street smarts and he knows which side his bread is buttered on.   He’s never worked a real job other than maybe fast food long ago!

No he won’t take Leah off the show and yes he’ll invite Amber to his home and make her lunch. Yes he’ll see a therapist!  It’s all airtime and pure gold!
 

 

[BrownBear2012]

18 hours ago, MargeGunderson said:

Or the pros won’t let the therapy session be filmed or discussed on the show.

Because...they're professionals!

[BrownBear2012]

15 minutes ago, Jeanne222 said:

Gary’s going to do what he’s always done. Nothing.   
Gary came from nothing then get mixed up with that nitwit Amber and had baby Leah.   That coupling was a disaster. 

But the frosting on the cake was the show and those beautiful checks. 

Who knew that Gary knew how to handle the money he was paid by the network and the child support check he receives each month from Amber. 

He bought property and I think he also has some rentals.  I suspect he has his chubby little fingers in other pies like stocks and investments.  And now his wife enters the high paying medical field. Depending on how smart she is and how dedicated she can take in more money for Gary to manage. 

It always makes me smile when Gary sits in his Lazy boy and pontificates!  Gary has street smarts and he knows which side his bread is buttered on.   He’s never worked a real job other than maybe fast food long ago!

No he won’t take Leah off the show and yes he’ll invite Amber to his home and make her lunch. Yes he’ll see a therapist!  It’s all airtime and pure gold!
 

 

When the first season of this franchise aired Gary was a nurse. I'm not sure if he was a registered nurse or a practical nurse but that was what he was doing at that time. He quit after the first season I believe and from then on he was totally on the MTV payroll. 

[BrownBear2012]

12 hours ago, mrs ra said:

Did we just witness Cate and Tyler yelling at Nova to leave them alone so they could mourn some more the loss of Carly?? Poor Nova. 

I got a small distraction during this scene so I didn't catch everything... what was Tyler yelling at her about in the other room? I thought the whole crying thing with Tyler and Cate was pathetic. I get that they feel they abandoned her but they made a good decision at the time and should just be thankful she has two good parents that are providing her with a safe, nurturing home. Instead they keep crying and whining about "losing" her...the two grandmas don't help. Especially Tyler's mother...she is such a shit stirrer. Always chirping in Tyler's ear about something...she chirped in his ear about having another baby...incessantly, She has been a hostile to Brandon and Teresa and even wrote them a letter a few years ago that caused a lot of trouble since the contents of it were belligerent and demanding. This from a woman who produced one child that has a drug addiction and endangered her own kids and another child that has some mental health issues and doesn't work. Tyler seems to take a lot of his anxiety and anger out on his kids...a lot of yelling at Nova mostly. And now, they have another one who will be ignored or yelled at when Tyler is angry about something or frustrated. Pull the plug on these two MTV.

[Jeanne222]

I think this whole cast of Teen Mom participants are sad and angry due to a huge nothing in their lives 

No sense of value in their worthless lives. Most people their ages are educated and working. Some giving back.   These are the things that give purpose to ones being. 

Sitting on a sofa whining and bringing children into a home with no values brings nothing but misery!  Baby daddies come and go so no stability in any of their homes. 

[StatisticalOutlier]

3 hours ago, eskimo said:

But I don't know if rehashing it for the camera is helpful. 

I guess it depends on how you define helpful.  Helpful for getting in a better mind space?  Doubtful.  Helpful for staying on the MTV gravy train?  Definitely.

 

2 hours ago, Jeanne222 said:

He’s never worked a real job other than maybe fast food long ago!

2 hours ago, BrownBear2012 said:

When the first season of this franchise aired Gary was a nurse. I'm not sure if he was a registered nurse or a practical nurse but that was what he was doing at that time. He quit after the first season I believe and from then on he was totally on the MTV payroll. 

He was a CNA--certified nurse assistant.  CNAs do the grunt work--bathing, dressing, shaving, feeding patients, turning them over.  I have to admit that I always grudgingly admired him for doing that work. 

[Cosmocrush]

29 minutes ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

He was a CNA--certified nurse assistant.  CNAs do the grunt work--bathing, dressing, shaving, feeding patients, turning them over.  I have to admit that I always grudgingly admired him for doing that work. 

I remember that as well.  It's  a few months of training and mostly low pay but in my opinion the gears that make a nursing facility work.  Some of these CNA's are truly angels.  Many of them are in nursing school.

Edited November 10, 2021 by Cosmocrush

[mrs ra]

14 hours ago, Andyourlittledog2 said:

I feel bad for Cate and Tyler. They gave up their child for adoption, not realizing that they would be able to make MTV money and could have kept her actually. No one knew then that TM would become a thing after 16+P. It's just a gaping wound for them that never heals really. I don't think their experience is the great advertisement for adoption that MTV and Dawn thought it was going to be.

This is very true, and Dawn is of no help to them now. She should be encouraging them to realize that they made a good, thoughtful decision that was right at the time. She should help them to process their current sadness by being thankful that Carly is healthy and happy and has a good loving home. 

[Andyourlittledog2]

I was kinda upset when Mac had Broncs help her with her insulin shot, telling the tiny little boy that she needed the shot so she can basically stay alive.  That is not something you should be telling a small child who depends on you for his entire life and wellbeing.  Mac seems to have no idea what is appropriate to say and do around her young children.  She doesn't seem to have any real boundaries.  I guess that makes sense since she was so enmeshed with her own mother and has been on TV since she was sixteen. But I feel bad for her kids.

[heatherchandler]

15 hours ago, Andyourlittledog2 said:

 

I feel bad for Cate and Tyler. They gave up their child for adoption, not realizing that they would be able to make MTV money and could have kept her actually. No one knew then that TM would become a thing after 16+P. It's just a gaping wound for them that never heals really. I don't think their experience is the great advertisement for adoption that MTV and Dawn thought it was going to be.

The irony being that they were picked mainly because they were giving her up for adoption.  So if they had kept her they may not have been on the show and probably would be working minimum wage jobs and struggling. 

[BrownBear2012]

5 hours ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

I guess it depends on how you define helpful.  Helpful for getting in a better mind space?  Doubtful.  Helpful for staying on the MTV gravy train?  Definitely.

 

He was a CNA--certified nurse assistant.  CNAs do the grunt work--bathing, dressing, shaving, feeding patients, turning them over.  I have to admit that I always grudgingly admired him for doing that work. 

Thanks…I knew he had some kind of nursing job…should have known it wasn’t an LPN or RN since that would have required post high school coursework. At least he was working…seems like the other guys on this show haven’t had a 9-5 job ever. I thought Taylor had one when he first came on the show but don’t know what it was…now he just lays around the house or goes golfing. I must say I am  impressed with Gary’s garden…it’s quite expansive and looks really well maintained.

[BrownBear2012]

3 hours ago, Andyourlittledog2 said:

I was kinda upset when Mac had Broncs help her with her insulin shot, telling the tiny little boy that she needed the shot so she can basically stay alive.  That is not something you should be telling a small child who depends on you for his entire life and wellbeing.  Mac seems to have no idea what is appropriate to say and do around her young children.  She doesn't seem to have any real boundaries.  I guess that makes sense since she was so enmeshed with her own mother and has been on TV since she was sixteen. But I feel bad for her kids.

That was awful when she said that to Broncs. She’s just weird. Also, calling her husband a dick in front of the kids was totally inappropriate and even shocked the kids. She needs parenting classes and therapy. 

[eskimo]

I knew Mac had diabetes,  but thought she kept it under control.  How scary to know that the whole time she was alone in FL with the kids she could have had a major medical emergency while cooking, driving, etc.  Since they knew nobody there, would the kids have had to go into foster care for a night or two if she had to stay in the hospital,  until Josh or someone could get to FL?

Another thought, what happens to Leah if Gary passes away?  I hope they look at their legal options because as messed up as it is, Amber would probably have a better chance at custody than Kristina since the fight would not be between two bio parents.  I don't know how custody between a bio mom and a step mom would play out.  I hope Leah is old enough to have a say in the state of Indiana. 

[BrownBear2012]

12 hours ago, eskimo said:

Maci and Taylor chose to over schedule their kids activities, so please quit complaining about how tough it all is.  Bentley doesn't need to be playing two sports at once if it is interfering with quality family time.  Some people seem to think over scheduling their kids lives is a virtue.  It's not.   

While I'm not dismissing Maci's fear and issues with the shooting, it seems to be gas-station-specific.  Because if she really thought about it, she'd be afraid to go to a restaurant, grocery shopping, a movie, etc.  So maybe she should start by getting gas at another gas station for a while?  I get being at that one might bring up negative emotions.  And I do believe she was in danger of a stray bullet.  She was within range of the shot-out glass flying around, so getting hit was a threat.  Plus she didn't know this person's intentions.  Maybe he did want to kill anyone he could.  It wasn't the case, but she didn't know that and the fear was the same.  But I don't know if rehashing it for the camera is helpful. 

Poor Nova needed some extra hugs.  She was tired and emotional too.  Except she is a little girl and can't handle it the same.  It makes me sad when adults make excuses for their own emotions, but expect underdeveloped little kid brains to do better. 

I had hoped that Gary was on the edge of saying that maybe Leah shouldn't be filmed anymore.  Seems like he recognizes that she wants more privacy after being filmed her whole life, and that she's not comfortable with all this anymore.  So what are you going to do about that Gary?  You have total control on this.  Let's see what you're willing to sacrifice for Leah's well being. 

 

So true about Maci and Taylor overscheduling their kids. Bentley doesn't need to be playing two or three sports at a time...that's just nuts. 

[ginger90]

7 hours ago, eskimo said:

I hope Leah is old enough to have a say in the state of Indiana. 

Apparently the age in Indiana  is 14. That’s when the child’s wishes are taken into consideration. That doesn’t mean a judge would rule that way.

[Chloecat]

9 hours ago, eskimo said:

Another thought, what happens to Leah if Gary passes away?  I hope they look at their legal options because as messed up as it is, Amber would probably have a better chance at custody than Kristina since the fight would not be between two bio parents.  I don't know how custody between a bio mom and a step mom would play out.  I hope Leah is old enough to have a say in the state of Indiana. 

I wouldn't worry, no way Ambie is getting off the couch and making the effort to fight for custody.

[Soobs]

The only reason Amber is upset about Leah is because it makes Amber look bad to have her daughter reject her. She's a classic narcissist and the earlier Leah learns about and accepts this the better off she'll be. Hopefully, Gary can get her to a therapist that can work on this with her or she's in for a tough life.

Tyler commenting on how well spoken Carly is spoke volumes about how differently she's being raised. She's cherished and being given opportunities Tyler and Cate couldn't give her even with their MTV money. They should be happy for her and knock off the Eeyore routine. Those two don't bring out the best in each other.

I'm honestly slightly concerned about Mac's family. They don't seem stable.

 

[Mothra]

22 hours ago, mrs ra said:

This is very true, and Dawn is of no help to them now. She should be encouraging them to realize that they made a good, thoughtful decision that was right at the time. She should help them to process their current sadness by being thankful that Carly is healthy and happy and has a good loving home. 

I agree, too, and while I know absolutely nothing about how open adoptions work, it seems to me in this particular case, it's part of Dawn's job to help Tyler and Catelyn to move from their grieving to pride that they did such an unselfish thing that has benefited their daughter--that it was absolutely the best decision they could have made--and to accept that Carly really isn't their daughter any more.  She should encourage them to stop having birthday parties for Carly and to limit their correspondence with her to one or two notes a year and then drop them altogether.  It's not fair to Carly to be put into this awful position of having to deal with her biological parents who just can't let go and allow her to be the daughter of her adoptive parents.  When Carly is older, she may want to have the kind of relationship with T&C that they want now, but that decision should be up to her.

As a matter of fact, I think C&T ought not to have any more direct contact with Carley, allowing her adoptive parents to send them notes and photos--and allowing C&T to write to them--so that Carley can have a more normal life.  I wonder if Carley resents having to meet up with C&T every year or so, to be forced to acknowledge her sisters--if there is so much concern over Leah's feelings about her biological mother being respected, I wonder if Carley's feelings are been validated, too.

The way C&T go on about Carley in front of Nova is criminal and will lead to years of psychiatric sessions for that little girl.

[BrownBear2012]

7 hours ago, Mothra said:

I agree, too, and while I know absolutely nothing about how open adoptions work, it seems to me in this particular case, it's part of Dawn's job to help Tyler and Catelyn to move from their grieving to pride that they did such an unselfish thing that has benefited their daughter--that it was absolutely the best decision they could have made--and to accept that Carly really isn't their daughter any more.  She should encourage them to stop having birthday parties for Carly and to limit their correspondence with her to one or two notes a year and then drop them altogether.  It's not fair to Carly to be put into this awful position of having to deal with her biological parents who just can't let go and allow her to be the daughter of her adoptive parents.  When Carly is older, she may want to have the kind of relationship with T&C that they want now, but that decision should be up to her.

As a matter of fact, I think C&T ought not to have any more direct contact with Carley, allowing her adoptive parents to send them notes and photos--and allowing C&T to write to them--so that Carley can have a more normal life.  I wonder if Carley resents having to meet up with C&T every year or so, to be forced to acknowledge her sisters--if there is so much concern over Leah's feelings about her biological mother being respected, I wonder if Carley's feelings are been validated, too.

The way C&T go on about Carley in front of Nova is criminal and will lead to years of psychiatric sessions for that little girl.

I so agree with you! The birthday parties for Carly are ridiculous. Teresa and Brandon are saints for putting up with that. Dawn should absoloutely tell C&T not to write directly to Carly anymore. Any correspondence should go through Brandon and Teresa...maybe a couple of notes a year and that's it. C&T are being selfish and immature...Brandon and Teresa are doing the heavy lifting and trying to raise Carly in a loving and safe environment...it seems that is something that C&T cannot process...they still say "she's ours" and bemoan that Brandon and Teresa aren't allowing them to see Carly more often. It's not their call...they don't get that. C&T have their own family to raise and worry about...from what I've seen this last season, they have their hands full. Tyler has a short temper and takes a lot of his problems out on the kids by yelling at them and generally just being a douche. Dawn does a disservice to Carly and to C&T by encouraging more contact and not being more firm about boundaries...something that C&T obviously don't have. They seem to be resentful and angry about Brandon and Teresa being the parents of Carly instead of being grateful and thankful for Carly being cared for and loved by two generous people.

After seeing this open adoption play out over the years I can say that if I ever found myself in a position of having to adopt a child I sure as hell would never opt for open adoption.

[Mothra]

9 hours ago, BrownBear2012 said:

After seeing this open adoption play out over the years I can say that if I ever found myself in a position of having to adopt a child I sure as hell would never opt for open adoption.

If the original intent of the series was to show how difficult it is to be a teen mom, and to encourage teens to opt for adoption as one alternative, MTV has performed a dreadful disservice.  I know a couple of women who placed their newborns for adoption; they do question their decision sometimes and maybe feel a little sad about it once in a while, but their feelings are infinitesimal compared with C&T constant whining about Carly.  Open adoption may have seemed a reasonable halfway measure between losing your child completely and struggling to raise her on your own, but like you I would never in a million years--after watching this show--encourage *anyone* to consider an open adoption.

[meredithalmighty]

On 11/10/2021 at 12:08 PM, BrownBear2012 said:

When the first season of this franchise aired Gary was a nurse. I'm not sure if he was a registered nurse or a practical nurse but that was what he was doing at that time. He quit after the first season I believe and from then on he was totally on the MTV payroll. 

I just finished the Teen Mom Confessional book written by the person who authors the Ashley Reality Round-Up website. In the first 2 seasons, Gary was a health aide working with the developmentally disabled which is very low paying. I'd guess he was making about $12.50 per hour

[BrownBear2012]

2 hours ago, meredithalmighty said:

I just finished the Teen Mom Confessional book written by the person who authors the Ashley Reality Round-Up website. In the first 2 seasons, Gary was a health aide working with the developmentally disabled which is very low paying. I'd guess he was making about $12.50 per hour

Someone else on here said he was a nurse aide...at least he worked a job at one time. 

[meredithalmighty]

I agree @BrownBear2012. He worked in an underpaid and unappreciated field. Out of everyone on Teen Mom, he seems like he will be fine when the show ends

[Jeanne222]

In my humble opinion what bites Tyler and Catelyn in the butt is that they can’t put Carley on tv!

They are dying to add that to their TM role!

[BrownBear2012]

2 hours ago, Jeanne222 said:

In my humble opinion what bites Tyler and Catelyn in the butt is that they can’t put Carley on tv!

They are dying to add that to their TM role!

Copy that! They had a lot of chutzpah a few years back when they posted a bunch of pics of Carly on the Instagram without asking Brandon and Teresa for permission.