S13.E12: Is There Someone Else?

[ByTor]

1 hour ago, LennieBriscoe said:

There's only one husband who wants to stay married and who shows it by his smiles; his offerings; his never seeking to be away from his wife, not in a separate room, not in a separate dwelling; his willingness to communicate.

Gil. 

I thought in the beginning that it would be hilarious if Gil & Myrla are the only ones who make it. Not so funny to me now, I think they're the only ones with any hope!

[cinsays]

5 hours ago, ByTor said:

Knowing these reality shows, I wouldn't be surprised if she threw dirty things on the floor, ran to answer her phone, and came right back & picked them up and put them in the hamper. But what we got to see was the mess on the floor.

right

or the producers went in and made it super messy.  they do that on some of the house hunter shows 

[Sycophant4Lease]

21 hours ago, kristen111 said:

These girls are up there in age.  I haven’t heard one mention having kids, but they want vacations and designer clothes.  Guess they don’t want a family.  What do the guys say about that?  Anything?

I think I've heard Myrla mention something in one of her TH's about starting a family with Gil.  I could be wrong.  I assumed that included children.

[JocelynCavanaugh]

1 hour ago, Sycophant4Lease said:

I think I've heard Myrla mention something in one of her TH's about starting a family with Gil.  I could be wrong.  I assumed that included children.

I thought so, too. 

When Rachel and José were leaving for the honeymoon, she swatted condoms out of his hand and said something about "you don't make babies that way!" Plus, as someone mentioned earlier, Michaela asking Zach about kids the second they met. But if any of them would rather have vacations than kids, who cares? It's better for society when motherhood is an opt-in activity and children are wanted.

[Kiss my mutt]

Don’t they have two bathrooms in the apartment? If that was Brett’s designated bathroom, who cares? He doesn’t need to go in there. 

[buttersister]

Heads up. I can only imagine. Johnny and Michaela appear on Unfiltered tonight with an "expert"--not Cal or Pepper, the other one.

[TheBride]

Brett is a total slob--I mean, 10-year-old sloppy, which is a real sign of being inconsiderate or just in your own world. Being a clean freak is also bad, but there has to be a sense that someone else is living here and there's complomise. She tosses things all over the floor like a kid! I'm just being realistic. 

[TheBride]

We know that all the couples make a commitment for the full series and it's really tough, but sometimes it's just apparent that they're going through the motions just to finish out the contract. Ryan seems like he's having a tough time and has started to hate each moment. Maybe Johnny, too, but Johnny is so self-absorbed that he's enjoying the opportunity to display own intellect and to blather on and on about himself and his thoughts. He's a horror.

[TheBride]

On 10/13/2021 at 7:48 PM, buttersister said:

Heads up. I can only imagine. Johnny and Michaela appear on Unfiltered tonight with an "expert"--not Cal or Pepper, the other one.

I saw that and Michaela really trashed Bao. I was shocked! Michaela looked a little off. I think she has some real emotional issues.

[TheBride]

Gil is one of the best MAFS grooms I've seen since the beginning. He's not self-centered, but he has some healthy boundaries and he communicates really well. I hope this couple makes it and well beyond decision-day. 

[TheBride]

Brett lied to Ryan. She was supposed to ask him a question but she's too frightened. Does she really want to work at the marriage? Or is she just wanting Ryan to change so he's just what she thinks she needs and wants.

Brett isn't emotionally engaged and she's blaming Ryan for not being emotionally engaged. It's called projecting!

[qtpye]

1 hour ago, TheBride said:

Brett is a total slob--I mean, 10-year-old sloppy, which is a real sign of being inconsiderate or just in your own world. Being a clean freak is also bad, but there has to be a sense that someone else is living here and there's complomise. She tosses things all over the floor like a kid! I'm just being realistic. 

I like Brett, but to be honest, that level of sloppiness would be a deal-breaker for me.

I would be constantly picking up after a partner like that and I am tidy but far from a neat freak.

I do hope she finds a good guy after the show is over.

I think we all know Ryan is not feeling her and at this point is just fulfilling his contractual obligations.

 

[Retired at last]

3 hours ago, qtpye said:

I think we all know Ryan is not feeling her and at this point is just fulfilling his contractual obligations.

And Brett knows it, too. Even though she still talks about being open and having hope, she knows. She has known for a long time. She also said she knows when things changed, so I wonder if we will ever know when that was?

[gaPeach]

On 10/17/2021 at 7:58 PM, Retired at last said:

And Brett knows it, too. Even though she still talks about being open and having hope, she knows. She has known for a long time. She also said she knows when things changed, so I wonder if we will ever know when that was?

When Brett met with Ryan's old roommate, I think or she is a friend of his, she asked Brett when did she notice he changed.  Brett said a week or so after they got back from Honeymoon.  The friend then mentions that maybe he is "distracted".  It sounds like the friend knows Ryan has either met someone or its an old GF he ran into and now is not all that jazzed about being married.  I think that totally explains his demeaner and his guilt about it.  Or was I the only one that took it that way?

And yes Brett totally did not ask Ryan when he checked out of the marriage as she should have.  My guess is she wants HIM to just tell her.  Which he won't so they dance around the issue they need to communicate more which neither one will. 

[Jeanne222]

2 hours ago, gaPeach said:

When Brett met with Ryan's old roommate, I think or she is a friend of his, she asked Brett when did she notice he changed.  Brett said a week or so after they got back from Honeymoon.  The friend then mentions that maybe he is "distracted".  It sounds like the friend knows Ryan has either met someone or its an old GF he ran into and now is not all that jazzed about being married.  I think that totally explains his demeaner and his guilt about it.  Or was I the only one that took it that way?

And yes Brett totally did not ask Ryan when he checked out of the marriage as she should have.  My guess is she wants HIM to just tell her.  Which he won't so they dance around the issue they need to communicate more which neither one will. 

Isn’t Ryan the one that goes from woman to woman and really wanted to settle down with a wife?

If yes he was really fooling everybody!  He’s a player.  He no more wants to be anybody’s husband!

Run ladies!

[TheBride]

On 10/6/2021 at 9:08 PM, buttersister said:

I loathe Johnny.

And I've stopped caring whether he gets his skinny ass to a therapist or not. Wallow in it, asshole.

Mark these words. He will say "no" on decision day (using a million words to rationalize the decision and also blame Bao) and then he will--later on--want her back. This will happen!

[gaPeach]

18 hours ago, TheBride said:

Mark these words. He will say "no" on decision day (using a million words to rationalize the decision and also blame Bao) and then he will--later on--want her back. This will happen!

I think Bao knows what he is doing that he wants her to be the bad guy and end it.  Then he can say he "tried".  She's playing his game just better.  

I do think Johnny is an absolute asshole dick and had no business being on this show.  How do the "experts" get it wrong so many times.  Ryan wants a VS woman with no personality quirks.  Johnny wants........well himself, as he is only happy with his bad self.  And the high strung chick......Madaema something is just plain scary.  It did not take her but a Nano second to show how crazy she is, starting with the meltdown, going home issue the morning he was gone with the dog.  Who does that?

[Elizzikra]

Quote

 And the high strung chick......Madaema something is just plain scary.

Michaela.

[kristen111]

On 10/8/2021 at 6:19 PM, Alexander Pope said:

I like Ryan too and I do think he is kind.  However he is being a wimp here and his fear of hurting Brett is making things worse.  As many others have said, and as Zach told him, he needs to man up and tell her the truth.  And he could also tell her that her sloppiness is bugging him while he is at it.  I'm sure he could do so nicely.

The only thing he could have done better was not to just get up and walk away.  He should have gave her the courtesy of explaining why he couldn’t go forward with her,and let her down gently.  He owed her that much.  He just got up like she didn’t deserve a why he was leaving.  That was not being a gentleman.  I’m surprised at him.  He just left her sitting there like a coward.

[kristen111]

On 10/13/2021 at 3:59 PM, Kiss my mutt said:

Don’t they have two bathrooms in the apartment? If that was Brett’s designated bathroom, who cares? He doesn’t need to go in there. 

That’s production there.  I would be furious at them for showing the world the mess she made.  That was mean and uncalled for.  Bathrooms are private.

[Mstk3000]

On 10/7/2021 at 2:29 PM, Empress1 said:

And how about HE asks HER to do stuff? He was all, “you don’t tap me when I wake up and ask me to go running with you!” Boy, what? If you want to go for a run with your wife, ask her if she wants to go for a run! Make plans to do that. “Hey, wanna run before work tomorrow?” “Sure!” “Cool, I’ll set the alarm.” Dassit! He seems to expect to be catered to, and he’s not putting in any effort to show Bao he cares about her.

Since I am commenting 2 years later just watching the show (no spoilers please!), I am randomly picking this comment to respond to because it mentions Johnny’s family get-together.  Not only did he disinvite her at the last minute, but then he tore her down with them at every opportunity.  Yet his own family saw through his BS:  one elder told him he’s not in high school anymore “much as you might want to 😂”.  So Johnny moved on to how she doesn’t do anything for him, yet saying that she does his laundry, she buys and puts away all the groceries, and she does all the meal prep and planning, but that’s not doing anything for him because he could do those things himself.  WTF?  Those are things she is doing for you, and what exactly are you doing for her?  Other than denigrating her every minute.  When he said to Pastor Cal that he wished he had been matched with literally anyone else, I’m glad that Cal said that was mean, but it was more than mean when speaking of someone you have been living and sleeping with for weeks.  

My only issue with Bao is that she didn’t pick up her spine and self-esteem at that moment and walk away from the man-baby she married.  Actually, I take that back; my first issue in that conversation is that she didn’t say “you know, you aren’t exactly my Prince Charming either but at least I am trying.”  Johnny has a really over-inflated sense of his own attractiveness.  Maybe he will realize that when he sees the show with all the shots of the top of his head (does he realize that he’s a year or two tops away from being combover guy)?

[qtpye]

On 10/19/2021 at 4:22 PM, Jeanne222 said:

Isn’t Ryan the one that goes from woman to woman and really wanted to settle down with a wife?

If yes he was really fooling everybody!  He’s a player.  He no more wants to be anybody’s husband!

Run ladies!

Ryan was certainly not into Brett.

I liked Brett despite having one of the most unflattering wedding gowns.

I still remember her shocking almost full cleavage-bearing wedding gown. 

However, if she likes it...I love it.  She should look how she wants on her wedding day.

 

16 hours ago, Mstk3000 said:

Since I am commenting 2 years later just watching the show (no spoilers please!), I am randomly picking this comment to respond to because it mentions Johnny’s family get-together.  Not only did he disinvite her at the last minute, but then he tore her down with them at every opportunity.  Yet his own family saw through his BS:  one elder told him he’s not in high school anymore “much as you might want to 😂”.  So Johnny moved on to how she doesn’t do anything for him, yet saying that she does his laundry, she buys and puts away all the groceries, and she does all the meal prep and planning, but that’s not doing anything for him because he could do those things himself.  WTF?  Those are things she is doing for you, and what exactly are you doing for her?  Other than denigrating her every minute.  When he said to Pastor Cal that he wished he had been matched with literally anyone else, I’m glad that Cal said that was mean, but it was more than mean when speaking of someone you have been living and sleeping with for weeks.  

My only issue with Bao is that she didn’t pick up her spine and self-esteem at that moment and walk away from the man-baby she married.  Actually, I take that back; my first issue in that conversation is that she didn’t say “you know, you aren’t exactly my Prince Charming either but at least I am trying.”  Johnny has a really over-inflated sense of his own attractiveness.  Maybe he will realize that when he sees the show with all the shots of the top of his head (does he realize that he’s a year or two tops away from being combover guy)?

I am 39 years old and there is one thing I have learned about people (you think I would have learned more in my 39 years of life) is that if a man does not like you, his friends and family going on about what a great catch you are, actually makes him dislike you more.

He will go from just not wanting you as a girlfriend to actively hating you.

The big problem was that at the alter, Johnny saw the girl that he did not want in college and Bao saw it as a second chance with a guy who ghosted her.

Johnny never gave this marriage a fair chance.