S13.E10: Locked Out

[Emma Snyder]

Quote

Dr. Viviana gives our five couples some sexy assignments to help build trust and intimacy. While some couples enjoy the added spice, others feel distance from their partner.  And after calling her husband by the wrong name, one wife finds herself locked out--literally.

Airs Wednesday Sep 22 at 8PM EDT. 

As usual, this is a spoiler-free topic. If it did not happen on the show, please do not discuss.

[LennieBriscoe]

Zack spends another night away from Michaela? Is he trying to provoke her anger?

[ByTor]

Do Michaela/Zach and Brett/Ryan have the same sofa?

[LennieBriscoe]

Maybe! They're all in the same building.

Cannot stand Ryan. Can he just admit that he is not physically attracted to Brett, and that that's okay? No "feeling" is going to come at some vague future time. 

Cannot stand Zack. He is "one and done" with Michaela. She needs to start rejecting him majorly. As in, total polite indifference. [See: Myrla] As in, find a "legit" reason to spend a night elsewhere. [See: Zack]

Is there a *Live Chat*?

Zack is emotionally stunted, impossible to deal with. "We're two completely different people! You don't understand! I really wanted this!"

Like Michaela didn't want a successful  match? 

Edited September 23, 2021 by LennieBriscoe

[Crashcourse]

Michaela:  Zack is trying to tell you that you're batshit crazy.  He's not scarred.  He's scared.

[ByTor]

2 minutes ago, LennieBriscoe said:

Maybe! They're all in the same building.

True, they're probably furnished apartments.

Viviana, get with the program!!! How did she initially not understand that when Zach said Michaela "does not make a mistake, does not do something wrong" that he meant it's who he feels she is???

[Elizzikra]

10 minutes ago, LennieBriscoe said:

Maybe! They're all in the same building.

Cannot stand Ryan. Can he just admit that he is not physically attracted to Brett, and that that's okay? No "feeling" is going to come at some vague future time. 

I think he is saying that - albeit maybe not as concisely and clearly as he could. He's just not physically attracted to her and he is nice enough that he feels bad because she is into him. And I think I understood Dr. Viv to say that it doesn't matter if he isn't sexually attracted to her? I'm not sure I believe that. I don't think that every couple has wild sex every day of their marriage but if there is no attraction, I'm not sure how much time the couple should give it to see if it develops. 

Quote

Viviana, get with the program!!! How did she initially not understand that when Zach said Michaela "does not make a mistake, does not do something wrong" that he meant it's who he feels she is???

Right. Zack doesn't want Michaela to learn how to act around him to keep him; he wants her to not be someone who loses her shit over a minor miscommunication. I think he's right. Michaela is who she is and while she could perhaps learn to hide how she feels, it's eventually going to bubble up even worse. I think she has an explosive temper and I think the only way her relationships would succeed is if she was with a partner who accepted that. I'm not sure that guy exists but maybe?

Quote

Is there a *Live Chat*?

I think this is it?

Edited September 23, 2021 by Elizzikra

[Emma Snyder]

13 minutes ago, LennieBriscoe said:

Is there a *Live Chat*?

 

3 minutes ago, Elizzikra said:

I think this is it?

It is!!! 😁

[ByTor]

Bao is telling Johnny secrets she's not telling anyone else. Nobody but the viewing public, that is!!!

Edited September 23, 2021 by ByTor

[Elizzikra]

3 minutes ago, ByTor said:

Bao is telling Johnny secrets she's not telling anyone else. Nobody but the viewing public, that is!!!

That story did kind of break my heart though and her full-body hug on Johnny was cute.

I don't usually find a lot of solid marriage guidance on this show but I think these questions are fascinating...

[LennieBriscoe]

9 minutes ago, Emma Snyder said:

 

It is!!! 😁

And I'm here for it! 

Well, if Zack believes he is incompatible with the Real Michaela, then he needs to buck up and accept that this "experiment," however much he thinks it's his last chance at marriage and a family, didn't work out for him. He's distraught, but I think he's  OTT in his own way. 

[kristen111]

Zack doesn’t want the marriage or her.  He feels trapped.  Ryan isn’t feeling it with Brett and won’t.  I don’t believe in this.  There has to be love before marriage.  The ones that did make it are a fluke.  Getting married before knowing each other is going backwards, IMO.

[Retired at last]

As always, it doesn't start here for 3 more hours, but I am totally intrigued by the description of this episode. Which wife calls her husband the wrong name and gets locked out????? My guess, for some reason, is Rachel. Don't know why, but Jose strikes me as the type who would lock her out. Zack would just go home.

[LennieBriscoe]

Aack! Michaela's nose! 🤧

[Auntie Anxiety]

Michaela must have done something so nasty or violent or crazy that no one would say what IT was, makes me curious. And scared.

[LennieBriscoe]

Could I have been wrong all along about Myrla and Gil?! They rated their marriage 7 and 8, respectively! I might have said 3!

Edited September 23, 2021 by LennieBriscoe

[Retired at last]

Oh no -the rating game again? Poor Brett. 

[mythoughtis]

40 minutes ago, LennieBriscoe said:

Zack spends another night away from Michaela? Is he trying to provoke her anger?

He was in the wrong this time.  They were having  movie night and he wanted to get his Apple TV from his place.  Then when he got to his place he decided not to come back?  Sounds  like Michaela was polite on the phone… I haven’t gotten to a part where it’s discussed further yet. 

[Elizzikra]

9 minutes ago, Auntie Anxiety said:

Michaela must have done something so nasty or violent or crazy that no one would say what IT was, makes me curious. And scared.

It was her reaction to Zack leaving without waking her to take his dog to daycare and (she claims, he denies) him not answering her text messages. She became very angry, packed up all her stuff and moved out. Oh - and when they talked later, she was still enraged and called him a "goddamn, motherfucking liar."

Edited September 23, 2021 by Elizzikra

[mythoughtis]

34 minutes ago, LennieBriscoe said:

No "feeling" is going to come at some vague future time

And its not just a butterfly feeling or  an I can’t wait to talk to her that he wants.  He wants a feeling that the bedroom is too far away to wait.  I loved the therapist telling  him that’s a fantasy found  in movies or alcohol. It’s the truth.   Especially for couples in their30s.  Wait until they are kids Ryan.  See what intimacy is like then. 
 

 

[Auntie Anxiety]

4 minutes ago, Elizzikra said:

It was her reaction to Zack leaving without waking her to take his dog to daycare and (she claims, he denies) him not answering her text messages. She became very angry, packed up all her stuff and moved out.

I got the feeling there was something after that. She also wanted to call off the housewarming party on a whim and she’s very volatile. My gut tells me there’s more to the picture than we’ve be shown. 🤷‍♀️

Edited September 23, 2021 by Auntie Anxiety

[LennieBriscoe]

I need to be in that heated pool! 🧜‍♀️ 🏊‍♀️

[kristen111]

14 minutes ago, LennieBriscoe said:

Aack! Michaela's nose! 🤧

Her right nostril.  Is that one of those nose rings?

[kristen111]

I don’t care.  Dr. Viv is too intrusive.  I wouldn’t tell her diddly squat.  Sex is private.

[LennieBriscoe]

3 minutes ago, kristen111 said:

I don’t care.  Dr. Viv is too intrusive.  I wouldn’t tell her diddly squat.  Sex is private.

Not in this show, it ain't! 🤣🤣🤣

2 minutes ago, LennieBriscoe said:

Not on this show, it ain't! 🤣🤣🤣

 

[ByTor]

9 minutes ago, mythoughtis said:

I loved the therapist telling  him that’s a fantasy found  in movies or alcohol. It’s the truth.   Especially for couples in their30s.  Wait until they are kids Ryan.  See what intimacy is like then. 

True, but in the honeymoon phase I don't find it all that unrealistic.

[Cancun]

Just now, kristen111 said:

I don’t care.  Dr. Viv is too intrusive.  I wouldn’t tell her diddly squat.  Sex is private.

Agree. She seems a little too giddy to get the details. When Rachel and Jose didn’t respond right away, Viv just kept pushing and pushing…”What’s your favorite part? Is it the intercourse ? The kissing?”  Geesh, like it was a slumber party and the girls were brushing each others’ hair.

[Elizzikra]

10 minutes ago, mythoughtis said:

And its not just a butterfly feeling or  an I can’t wait to talk to her that he wants.  He wants a feeling that the bedroom is too far away to wait.  I loved the therapist telling  him that’s a fantasy found  in movies or alcohol. It’s the truth.   Especially for couples in their30s.  Wait until they are kids Ryan.  See what intimacy is like then. 
 

 

See I didn't love that. I do think that Ryan's major-makeout fantasy is something of movies and tv shows but I also think that if you don't have that basic attraction in the beginning, you maybe aren't going to develop it later on down the road - especially when you have kids and a million other demands on your time and energy.

Quote

I don’t care.  Dr. Viv is too intrusive.  I wouldn’t tell her diddly squat.  Sex is private.

I get that she is a sex therapist and sex is an important part of marriage but if the couples don't identify it as an issue, I don't think she should go into it. For example, I think Johnny and Bao are just fine with where they are in their sex life but it was like Dr. Viv was looking for a problem when there isn't one. 

 

8 minutes ago, LennieBriscoe said:

I need to be in that heated pool! 🧜‍♀️ 🏊‍♀️

Me too! Didn't Zack say it belonged to a friend of his? I need friends like that (no offense to my current, wonderful but un-pooled friends).

[LennieBriscoe]

In the commercial, where Brett is mentioning a text from her friend about  Ryan and a dating app, he is looking at her with zero affect. Like, an almost non-human absence of anything resembling a facial expression. He should  try to get employment in crime shows as a corpse. 

[kristen111]

1 minute ago, Cancun said:

Agree. She seems a little too giddy to get the details. When Rachel and Jose didn’t respond right away, Viv just kept pushing and pushing…”What’s your favorite part? Is it the intercourse ? The kissing?”  Geesh, like it was a slumber party and the girls were brushing each others’ hair.

I would love Dr. Viv to ask my husband those questions. He’d tell her where to go in certain words, haha.  But, this is just a show, so.        I guess everyone loves salmon.

[mythoughtis]

Rachel trusts Jose …. But not with her bank  account. Jose can’t get past her having a one night stand when she was dating someone years ago 

[Crashcourse]

Myrla is just not attracted to Gil.  It's just that simple.

[LennieBriscoe]

What's with these husbands needing to "take a break" from their wives? I'd tell them all to GTH!

[VioletNevermind]

I’d like to submit the first nomination for Gil to receive a Nobel Peace Prize for his handling of Myrla.  Even if it doesn’t work out (and dear Lord, I hope it doesn’t for his sake), his conduct during this entire process has been unbelievably patient and kind.  He is the ONLY one who is truly taking this “experiment” seriously and is honestly giving it a shot.  (Call me in a few weeks, Gil! 🔥)

Edited September 23, 2021 by Suzy Rhapsody

[Crashcourse]

2 minutes ago, kristen111 said:

 I guess everyone loves salmon.

Yeah, that seems to be the go to dish.   

[spunky]

Rachel needs to run and not look back. 

[ByTor]

1 minute ago, spunky said:

Rachel needs to run and not look back. 

Yeah, I felt nervous just watching that disgusting display.

[Crashcourse]

2 minutes ago, spunky said:

Rachel needs to run and not look back. 

Not saying his actions were justified, but did she really say another name instead of Jose's?

Edited September 23, 2021 by Crashcourse

[LennieBriscoe]

4 minutes ago, Crashcourse said:

Yeah, that seems to be the go to dish.   

It is in my house (why yes, salmon was dinner tonight. And last night.).

Uh-oh.  Rachel, you in trouble, gurrrl! 🙊🙀

[Baltimore Betty]

Just now, spunky said:

Rachel needs to run and not look back. 

Jose has shown himself, insecure, narcissistic, controlling and disrespectful, Rachel seems smart enough to know he has shown himself and should believe what she has seen.  The fact that he fell apart over her calling him the wrong name, told her to pack her bags and go (when he has a house to go to, why wouldn't he leave?), how will he handle a real crises? Geeze, short fuse much?

 

[Crashcourse]

Wow, he locked her out.  

[LennieBriscoe]

As Sting once said about he and wife Trudie having Tantric sex for 5 hours, "But that included dinner and a movie!" 😆

[VioletNevermind]

Yikes.  Kinda hard to get into a sexytime mood with a strange woman moaning in your face (WTF was that about?) and a rack of kettlebells in the background.

As for Jose locking Rachel out, she should have called the police to allow her access to the apartment, gathered her stuff, and left.  For good.  And to hell with the inevitable Pastor Cal intervention that would ensue.

[Crashcourse]

If the attraction truly isn't there I don't see how tantric sex helps.  In fact, it might make the person who isn't attracted even more uncomfortable.

[Elizzikra]

5 minutes ago, Baltimore Betty said:

Jose has shown himself, insecure, narcissistic, controlling and disrespectful, Rachel seems smart enough to know he has shown himself and should believe what she has seen.  The fact that he fell apart over her calling him the wrong name, told her to pack her bags and go (when he has a house to go to, why wouldn't he leave?), how will he handle a real crises? Geeze, short fuse much?

 

He needs to grow the fuck up and get a handle on his raging insecurity.

[Baltimore Betty]

Jose is a dick.

[spunky]

12 minutes ago, ByTor said:

Yeah, I felt nervous just watching that disgusting display.

His behavior was very manipulative.

13 minutes ago, Crashcourse said:

Not saying his actions were justified, but did she really say another name instead of Jose's?

Apparently she did.

[Elizzikra]

4 minutes ago, spunky said:

His behavior was very manipulative.

Yes. Locking Rachel out of the home is something an abusive spouse would do. She should run far and fast before this goes further.

And now he is gaslighting her. Dude, instead of asking her why she didn't share her feelings earlier, why isn't he asking what about him made her feel unsafe to share with him?

Edited September 23, 2021 by Elizzikra

[Crashcourse]

I don't usually watch Unfiltered but I'm definitely watching tonight because I want to hear what Zack, Ryan and Jose have to say.

[spunky]

13 minutes ago, Baltimore Betty said:

Jose has shown himself, insecure, narcissistic, controlling and disrespectful, Rachel seems smart enough to know he has shown himself and should believe what she has seen.  The fact that he fell apart over her calling him the wrong name, told her to pack her bags and go (when he has a house to go to, why wouldn't he leave?), how will he handle a real crises? Geeze, short fuse much?

 

I agree with everything you said.