S16.E05: Auditions 5

[helenamonster]

Quote

The auditions continue.

Original airdate: 6/29/21

[Maverick]

 DC needs to sign the no contact wrestler to play Mr. Plastic.  

[DoYouLikeMutton]

Too bad Simon didn't let the twins at least get to the crescendo of "I've Got a Feeling."  I would have like to see what they could do with it. 😞

 

[ams1001]

I liked the strong men. Actually something a little different. 

"I'm saying yes because what you do is hard...even though you weren't very good at it." 🙄

I liked that the second dog act's "dream" was to have a dog training center and not a Vegas show.

A rapping bluegrass band (or HeeHaw Hip Hop, as Terry called it)...I didn't hate it... (so we like original songs this season; good to know).

The less said about the "no contact wrestler" the better.

So they didn't even let the twins finish (on only one buzzer, too) but Heidi's gonna give them a yes. 🙄🙄 She's being very generous.

More twins...even I've heard of the Sklar brothers.

Mean Howie was just stupid. "You're clearly very talented (y'know, the whole point of the show) but I'm gonna say no cuz I don't like that kind of music." 

I'm sure I'm not the only who was wondering...."Vergara initially studied dentistry for three years at National University of Colombia, but she left two semesters away from completing her degree to pursue opportunities in modeling and show business."'

 

[Mr. Sparkle]

3 minutes ago, ams1001 said:

(so we like original songs this season; good to know).

Right? How many times has Simon advised against original songs? 

[Whimsy]

I was so surprised to see the Sklar brothers on this show. I’ve seen them a lot- mostly on @Midnight (RIP). I thought they were more successful than needing to appear on AGT. 
 

That quick change artist- I think I saw her on Penn and Teller Fool Us. She’s really good. 

[Tango64]

The quick change artist totally deserved the golden buzzer. She was great. 

The Sklar brothers were hilarious. They have the timing and delivery down pat and the material was very funny. I recognized them but had to look up what they’d done before, so I’ll give them a pass on being professionals. 

The dog acts are so lame. You can see this level of dog act at any county fair. At least they said no to one of them. 

The British magician was good. The back of the house reveal was good, shored up the first reveal. Not sure how he did that. 

And nice find on the ring. Don’t know how he did it unless it was completely a setup. 

What the hell is up with Simon’s white shorts? They look so very schleppy. 

That was a pretty beautiful response from Howie about how the legacy of the parents shows in the singer’s performance. I wasn’t that crazy about her, but still a nice comment. 

[ams1001]

1 hour ago, Superclam said:

Right? How many times has Simon advised against original songs? 

I have a song on my ipod from a band that was on years ago and was told they shouldn't do original songs because the audience wouldn't connect with them or some bullshit.

39 minutes ago, Whimsy said:

I was so surprised to see the Sklar brothers on this show. I’ve seen them a lot- mostly on @Midnight (RIP). I thought they were more successful than needing to appear on AGT. 

I miss @Midnight. I discovered it not too long before it ended. :(

[Vermicious Knid]

Have never heard of the Sklar Bros. Wasn't even sure what they were doing until halfway in and wasn't impressed. They can go away.

The final contestant wins the dubious honor of the most horrifying sob story ever. I wonder if Heidi regrets using her Golden Buzzer before she sang? The mentalist/psychic didn't do anything much different than other acts of this type but it was well done and entertaining. Had to laugh about him ordering 1000 little boxes and having to convince the company it was legit. Same with the quick change artist, she was good but not much more than the other acts of that ilk. Dog act that went through was cute, again nothing special or new. Bet the other group thought dogs + Harry Potter was a sure thing. K-dance group was okay but I would have voted 'no'. Country rap band was at least somewhat original.

[DoYouLikeMutton]

7 hours ago, Tango64 said:
What the hell is up with Simon’s white shorts? They look so very schleppy. 

I just tuned into this season last week and am wondering about Simon’s shorts too.  Is that his new “uniform” for each and every show now?

[ams1001]

8 hours ago, Vermicious Knid said:

K-dance group was okay but I would have voted 'no'.

One thing I liked about them is there weren't so many dancers you couldn't see what everyone was doing (when they were all actually in the camera frame, at least). So many of the similar dance groups we've seen (with the big acrobatic tricks and stuff) are so big you miss a lot, even when you can see them all. (Leaving aside the show's penchant for repeatedly cutting to the judges looking shocked, or cheering and dancing in their chairs, instead of letting the TV audience see what's actually happening on the stage. Cuz why would we want to see that, right?)

 

[saber5055]

7 hours ago, DoYouLikeMutton said:

I just tuned into this season last week and am wondering about Simon’s shorts too.  Is that his new “uniform” for each and every show now?

LOL. I ranked on Simon's extra-long boxer shorts last week and other posters defended him. But there he was wearing them again this week, with his dress shirt, old-man calf-high black socks and orthopedic shoes. I think everything about Simon is creepy so now I'm just ignoring him.

I wasn't paying all that much attention last night but here are some random thoughts.

The strong-man acrobats I loved. They made me LOL more than once. I could watch them for a long, long time. GB worthy, for sure.

Two dog acts. Okay, I love dogs. The two Border Collies doing tricks in unison was skillful so I guess I say okay to them.

The bluegrass/hip-hop band ... I watch Circle network and these guys would fit right in there. Nothing special about them at all.

Wrestler. Well, you got your five minutes. Maybe less. Get the left over 10 minutes somewhere else.

The dueling comics I didn't listen to at first, but they ended up being pretty good and I liked them. What's up with Heidi though, are German people suppose to not have any sense of humor? Although it was hilarious when she said she would give them a YES based on the cheering of the audience -- the audience that wasn't there. Way to stay on script Heidi.

Then there was some act where a piece of flannel was draped over Heidi and some woman cut it up with scissors to make some sort of mini dress. Got an X from me.

I liked the clothes changer, I'd never seen dresses break into confetti before. I'm guessing her hubby helped with that. Big yes from me.

I thought the Broadway singer was excellent, GB worthy. But TPTB gave Howie a script to cause DRAH-MAH so he didn't like her. *yawn*

The psychic was pretty good. Got a yes from me.

The K-dance guys ... please. You guys were NOT good, dance groups a zillion times better than you have been on AGT and dance groups a billtrillion times better have been on World of Dance. And lost. Got a big NO from me.

The Dead Parent singer was NOT GOOD. She would have gotten a big red X if she wasn't put on this show because of her sob story. Having dead parents doesn't make you sing better. She sucked.

There were other acts that I don't recall.

I don't remember who got the GB, but y'all remember to get to Sonic for your free tots today.

12 hours ago, Vermicious Knid said:

I wonder if Heidi regrets using her Golden Buzzer before she sang?

The GBs are determined before any acts even come on stage. So no need to wonder about that.

[ams1001]

14 minutes ago, saber5055 said:

I don't remember who got the GB, but y'all remember to get to Sonic for your free tots today.

I've never been to a Sonic. I know of one Sonic near me and it's 20 minutes away (apparently there's one not far from where I used to work, but that's about 30 minutes in a different direction). It's 96 degrees outside and I have no other reason to leave the house. So, no, thanks.

[saber5055]

6 minutes ago, ams1001 said:

I've never been to a Sonic. I know of one Sonic near me and it's 20 minutes away (apparently there's one not far from where I used to work, but that's about 30 minutes in a different direction). It's 96 degrees outside and I have no other reason to leave the house. So, no, thanks.

Heck, you could walk to that. My closest Sonic is a 1-1/2 hour round trip drive on the Interstate. But then, so is everything in my world.

[ams1001]

3 minutes ago, saber5055 said:

Heck, you could walk to that. My closest Sonic is a 1-1/2 hour round trip drive on the Interstate. But then, so is everything in my world.

lol...I looked up google directions and switched it to walking, and it said it'd take me three and a half hours.

At 96 degrees I'd be passed out on the side of the highway long before I got there.

[lynxfx]

America's Got Talent Agents.

So many established or known people this year. What makes it worse is when they lie and act like they never heard of them. Looking at you Howie.

Even Ganstagrass has been around for awhile. They did the title song for the show Justified. 

Quick change artist is following Shin Lim's path, although she didn't fool P&T. Her act was still well received. 

Skylar brothers have been everywhere for the last couple years.

Of course Josh Blue too. Before he was on Last Comic Standing he tried doing improv in my group in Denver. Didn't fit his style but we all went to the comedy club after and watched him kill. His material matches his name, very blue.

The piped in audience has been quite annoying. Especially the boos. They literally cranked the volume of their boo track when one said the boos should be louder.

[sharifa70]

4 hours ago, saber5055 said:

LOL. I ranked on Simon's extra-long boxer shorts last week and other posters defended him. But there he was wearing them again this week, with his dress shirt, old-man calf-high black socks and orthopedic shoes. I think everything about Simon is creepy so now I'm just ignoring him.

Considering he’s recovering from a broken back, I’m gonna give him a wardrobe comfort pass.

The fake audience track is killing me. It was bad enough when they were an actual audience but this is ten million billion times worse.

I liked the dog duo (and I can’t hate on Simon for getting shmoopy over them). I was glad the HP dog act got a no, though: they were okay but just...okay.

 

[Mr. Sparkle]

1 hour ago, lynxfx said:

America's Got Talent Agents.

So many established or known people this year. What makes it worse is when they lie and act like they never heard of them. Looking at you Howie.

Every time there's a polished act, I go to google to see if they have a wikipedia page or at least a website with gigs and youtube videos. And of course, they almost always do. Even that horrible old boy band has a website with gigs lined up. 

[CrystalBlue]

Do we have a sob story winner with my parents were murdered in front of me?  Does that beat out I was incarcerated in prison for 37 years for a crime I did not commit?  Has anyone from long past seasons topped that?  I don't know about the singing but practically crying your way through the song and being overly emotional and nervously shaking is not talent.

So this season's theme is Simon's White Shorts, back-to-back acts of the same type, as in dog acts this episode, and Howie is Mean Mr. Green Grumpy to cuddly Simon.

Is the hour growing longer or is my patience getting shorter?  Are there more reject acts per episode this season or does it just seem like it?

The only impressive acts were the first four strongmen, the quick change artist from Bordeaux, France, and the K-Dance group.  I'd rather watch either or both the dog show acts again than some of the stupid humans.

Edited July 1, 2021 by CrystalBlue

[Tango64]

7 hours ago, saber5055 said:

The GBs are determined before any acts even come on stage. So no need to wonder about that.

That sounds like some good insider knowledge. Tell us more, please?

[lynxfx]

Missed opportunity with the quick change artist. How bad ass would it have been to have her change into a gold dress as the gold confetti went off?

[CrystalBlue]

2 hours ago, lynxfx said:

Missed opportunity with the quick change artist. How bad ass would it have been to have her change into a gold dress as the gold confetti went off?

Ms. Bordeaux probably brought her own quick-change clothes and if the producers asked her to change the one at the end to gold, she would have possibly be tipped off that she would be the GB, as improbable as that seems that a quick-change artists magician would even get the GB.

[ketchuplover]

Simon should've put the ring in his pocket or Howie's

[silverspoons]

10 hours ago, CrystalBlue said:

Do we have a sob story winner with my parents were murdered in front of me?  Does that beat out I was incarcerated in prison for 37 years for a crime I did not commit?  Has anyone from long past seasons topped that?  I don't know about the singing but practically crying your way through the song and being overly emotional and nervously shaking is not talent.

 

I looked up her parents story. This is one time the show might have downplayed a story? I know that some of the past sob stories from my area were recruited for their story over their talent. 

Jayy's story should be a lifetime movie or dateline series, In fact I think maybe  that is how she could have been found, Derrick from big brother does a show on Discovery ID and talked about her case? 

The story as I read it , was 2 men came into her parents small grocery store. She and her sister were teenagers and working. One man put a gun up to Javvy and her father pleaded for her not to be hurt. The men killed her parents and aunt. The case went cold. Javvy would not let the killers go free. She cut her hair and changed her appearance and went undercover to work at over stores in the area waiting for the men to come or find out information on where they were. it was more then 6 years later she found them. She ended up being the one to testify against them and a decade after her parents and aunts death, they were convicted. She really did put her life on pause from 18-30. I am usually not one for a sob story but I give her credit. Is she the best singer , no, but I hope again maybe she gets some awareness or maybe some pathway for something else. 

 

As for the rest of the show, besides the quick change act which I enjoy trying to figure out how , the rest did not wow me. My husband is getting tired of the novety acts and dog acts (where are birds?, seriously I have seen some really talented birds that talk, do tricks, maybe switch up the pets from dogs to birds for a year, I'll admit maybe I a biased, I have what I would consider a minimally talented bird, he is pooty trained and people are amazed when he flies into the bathroom on his own and back out, There are some birds that put food on a plate and set the table and serve the food and clear the table and put the dishes away or sing popular songs etc). 

[ams1001]

2 hours ago, silverspoons said:

As for the rest of the show, besides the quick change act which I enjoy trying to figure out how

Here's a little demo of how they layer and remove the clothes, if anyone's interested.

[saber5055]

4 hours ago, silverspoons said:

where are birds?

A friend in California who trains parrots and does parrot shows as well as providing trained birds for movies and shows stopped performing with her birds due to the outbreak of Newcastle Disease, sometimes called Delaware Disease, which is all over the United States and has caused the death of zillions of birds. So I'd say it's not safe to possibly expose any trained birds to that disease by taking them anywhere, even to AGT.

[saber5055]

14 hours ago, Tango64 said:

That sounds like some good insider knowledge. Tell us more, please?

Unfortunately, all "reality" shows are scripted. The AGT judges know exactly what acts are coming out and have been fed the "right" questions to ask each performer, either to showcase that person's sob story or to make them look like morons or whatever TPTB have decided the spin on that act will be. The GBs are  scheduled one per episode and maybe the other judges don't know who will be the GB but the judge whose week it is to hit a GB knows, and does as scripted.

I know, it's depressing to realize none of this is "real," even Howie being "the Grinch" this week was planned so he could be colored green and get viewers talking and wanting to watch more. Heck, even The Bachelor franchise is scripted, it's no secret.

[ams1001]

27 minutes ago, saber5055 said:

even Howie being "the Grinch" this week was planned so he could be colored green and get viewers talking and wanting to watch more.

Also so they could pretend his heart was growing three sizes while Disney Princess performed, only to say, "yeah, but I don't like that kind of music so no." Cuz apparently that's entertaining.

[saber5055]

5 minutes ago, ams1001 said:

Cuz apparently that's entertaining.

I have discovered that I have a completely different opinion of what is "entertaining" than the people who run tv shows these days, especially the "reality" shows.

The old Ed Sullivan show is rerun on some channel. Ed would come out, introduce an act, and then we'd see the entire act with no cuts to audience reactions or Ed jumping around or looking amazed or all google eyed. I guess that's not good enough any more.

Edited July 1, 2021 by saber5055

[Lonesome Rhodes]

A GB for a variety act and not a sob singer?  Excellent.

The "Princess" singer totally put me in a Six Flags or Dollywood performance hall.  Perfectly nice voice, but too cutesy - just like a cartoon princess.

The funniest act of this season was the whole build-up of Howie the Grinch (I love that song! and it's June).  Too much truth came out of his mouth as he was following the script, which was nonsensical and contradictory.  And those jidges are sooooo over the repetitiveness of it all.  Then we get the coup de grace...Simon as the savior of "talent" everywhere.  Give that man an Emmy.  Or, maybe get him onstage as a spoken word specialist.  Goodness, but the earnest Simon was a hoot!  The ladies were very good expressing their disgust with Howie in the make-up area.  I almost believed them.  ;)

The barbell dudes were tremendous.  Not sure how they add more in two or three new rounds.

Sonic slushies are no joke.  Best I've ever had.  I love tater tots and theirs are darn good, too.  But, none of that is worth a trip of any distance.  At least their ad campaign with the annoying buddies in a car are no longer airing.

Overall, this ep really highlighted for me the excellence of the AGT editors and producers.  They have the thankless task of keeping AGT fresh and semi-believable.  The thematic Grinch arc was fun and the payoff was there, imo.  Lordy...Simon the savior of the Arts.   Shorts and all.

[CrystalBlue]

2 hours ago, Lonesome Rhodes said:

A GB for a variety act and not a sob singer?  Excellent.

The "Princess" singer totally put me in a Six Flags or Dollywood performance hall.  Perfectly nice voice, but too cutesy - just like a cartoon princess.

The funniest act of this season was the whole build-up of Howie the Grinch (I love that song! and it's June).  Too much truth came out of his mouth as he was following the script, which was nonsensical and contradictory.  And those jidges are sooooo over the repetitiveness of it all.  Then we get the coup de grace...Simon as the savior of "talent" everywhere.  Give that man an Emmy.  Or, maybe get him onstage as a spoken word specialist.  Goodness, but the earnest Simon was a hoot!  The ladies were very good expressing their disgust with Howie in the make-up area.  I almost believed them.  ;)

The barbell dudes were tremendous.  Not sure how they add more in two or three new rounds.

Sonic slushies are no joke.  Best I've ever had.  I love tater tots and theirs are darn good, too.  But, none of that is worth a trip of any distance.  At least their ad campaign with the annoying buddies in a car are no longer airing.

Overall, this ep really highlighted for me the excellence of the AGT editors and producers.  They have the thankless task of keeping AGT fresh and semi-believable.  The thematic Grinch arc was fun and the payoff was there, imo.  Lordy...Simon the savior of the Arts.   Shorts and all.

Yes, let us thank the Sonic Adtard gods that the so-called comedy duo are long gone and only random asshats advertise Sonic now.  There's a Sonic near me on one of the main streets (a boulevard) in my neighborhood, but I haven't been to a Sonic since way before the pandemic lockdown started and am not eager to return.  The customer service used to be quite nice and friendly but they took a turn for the worse by hiring a bunch of snotty bitches with no CS skills.  Their slushies are good but I can make fruit juice and lemonade drinks at home without the hassle of waiting in line and being served by the aforementioned snotty bitches.  Sonic food is just OK.  The Wendy's next to it is better and I can get a salad there.  Of course, everyone's mileage varies.

[UncleChuck]

Quote

Unfortunately, all "reality" shows are scripted. The AGT judges know exactly what acts are coming out and have been fed the "right" questions to ask each performer, either to showcase that person's sob story or to make them look like morons or whatever TPTB have decided the spin on that act will be. The GBs are  scheduled one per episode and maybe the other judges don't know who will be the GB but the judge whose week it is to hit a GB knows, and does as scripted.

TPTB have ONE main goal, to produce an entire summer's worth of variety entertainment and they certainly want to be certain that the end of the summer has plenty of variety remaining.  The goal is NOT to have a legitimate contest with ironclad rules about amateurs or experience, but just to fill two hours with entertainment.  Some performers are worthy of continuing to the live shows but don't have enough different material to do something different every week to keep advancing, so TPTB arrange one of the judges to give them a Golden Buzzer.  Quick change lady can only change outfits a limited number of times.  There was also a chorus of nurses and hospital workers that got the GB and I have a feeling that TPTB organized that one also because it was probably very difficult for the hospital to arrange all of their schedules to allow for travel.  Two or three times to arrange the schedules is easier than four or five.

[rr2911]

Again, I'm late to the party as I was trying to catch up to all my shows I watch.  I watched AGT yesterday, so here are my 3 cents....

. It seems like the TPTB are listening to their fans. the GB was a quick change artist which I liked very much. I was just pleasantly surprised that they have enough balls not to pick a slobbery story again.

. I read above that those twin comedians have performed before on other shows. I knew I've seen them before. They were just ok though.

. Yeah, Howie turning green was all scripted, but more about this later.

. That K-dance group wasn't very impressive to me. What were the doing behind the sheet that was suppose to be different? No clue!

 

*****  Even though Green Howie was all scripted, there is some truth in there. Whenever a judge doesn't like an act, they should be allowed to press the X if they feel it deserves one. I wish the show had judges that were "allowed" to really be honest and tell the truth.  Just like that awful winner from last season, if I were a judge, I certainly would've said that poems are not going to and never will garner so much interest that people will pay money to see a poem act in Las Vegas.

SIGH!

Ok...I'm ready for tonight! 😁