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90 Day: Caribbean Love

Frozendiva
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sainte-chapelle
sainte-chapelle

The one pregnant with her vacation fuck should have though about  something  that starts with an a and and ends in bortion.  Just my Debbie downer thoughts

DanaMB
DanaMB

Wtf do we have to see Pedro’s awful family again? At least when they’re on The Family Chantal I can avoid them because I don’t watch it. 

Welshman in Ca
Welshman in Ca

Because he is a pretentious asshole.

suzeecat

suzeecat

On 3/30/2023 at 7:35 PM, DanaMB said:

Wtf do we have to see Pedro’s awful family again? At least when they’re on The Family Chantal I can avoid them because I don’t watch it. 

I plan to FF through their scenes.  I gave up on the fame-ho family when Family Chantal started.  I have absolutely no desire to see more manufactured drama from Family Pedro.  Nu-uh, not gonna do it.  I can't believe TLC thought anybody would waste any more time on them. 

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Hotel Snarker

Hotel Snarker

Did Scott not watch the show before? Does he not realize how evil Lidia is? And how do they have any relationship when they cannot speak to one another?

Oh, and, don't get me wrong, I like well-behaved dogs, but I was screaming at the screen seeing Scott’s dog jumping on the ice cream case. Then it makes a mess all over the place eating the ice cream cone. Dairy is not for dogs as well! Freakin' dog nutters drive me nuts! They always have to drag their mutts with them everywhere they go, other people be damned. When they bring their hounds to a place where people eat, it's so disgusting. Therefore, fuck you Scott.

Jessica's kids are very spoiled and you can tell they are most likely the type that bully other kids. Yeah, I said it. They are way too full of themselves.

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Tuneful

Tuneful

(edited)

I liked Jessica until she told her kids, “Don’t scare him [Juan] away.” They are rambunctious little boys. Juan needs to see everyone as they are. If the relationship doesn’t work out, the boys may think they somehow scared him off. You’d think a mental health professional (their Mom) would know better. Juan looks like a senior in high school, about a 5/10. I don’t get why he himself, and Jessica, describe him as a sex bomb, unironically. What were the other bartenders, Quasimodos?

I agree with Hotel Snarker about the dog being all in the people food. I can’t stand spoiled dogs. It’s going to be hard for any woman to get past being #3 with him (after the dog and the kids). Don’t you love divorced men who go on and on about how many women they've slept with? Klassy.

Lidia? Just NO. You might as well resurrect The Three Stooges, with her as Larry.

VaLentine (why the capital L??) and Carlos make my skin crawl. Nothing to do with demographics, they are drama queens and fight all the time and I just don’t like their affectations. I liked Kenny and Armando.  

At least this mess is an hour.  TLC, take note. Also, there were no ridiculous age differences (IIRC) that are so fake they insult my intelligence. Such as it is.

Edited by Tuneful
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Welshman in Ca

Welshman in Ca

12 hours ago, Tuneful said:

VaLentine (why the capital L??) and Carlos make my skin crawl. Nothing to do with demographics, they are drama queens and fight all the time and I just don’t like their affectations. I liked Kenny and Armando, and I like Nicole's odd get-ups on TOW.  

 

Because he is a pretentious asshole.

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DanaMB

DanaMB

On 4/18/2023 at 9:05 AM, suzeecat said:

I plan to FF through their scenes.  I gave up on the fame-ho family when Family Chantal started.  I have absolutely no desire to see more manufactured drama from Family Pedro.  Nu-uh, not gonna do it.  I can't believe TLC thought anybody would waste any more time on them. 

I just watched the ep and immediately fast forwarded their scenes. 

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Hotel Snarker

Hotel Snarker

If she truly had money, why sit on cakes and be on this show? Even if what everyone is saying is true, that she somehow owns a house free and clear, I think it's extremely rare for someone to be able to get six figures out of it in a home equity line of credit. Ask yourself, do you know anyone with a paid off house that could qualify for a home equity line of credit in the six figures and be able to pay it back?

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Hotel Snarker

Hotel Snarker

Jessica is just a mess. A parent of two, soon to be three by another man, who has no idea how to discipline kids. You don't need to throw a shoe at them, but the whole "picky" eater thing is stupid because my parents would say you're either eating it or you'll have to wait until the next meal. They weren't mean about it, but just a matter of fact: I'm your parent and I made you a meal. You'll either eat it or wait

Also, I know it's hard for single moms out there to find a man, but good god...why would you think this guy who is living in paradise would want to come to your pig shit infested town and raise kids who haven't been raised properly at all? Oh yeah because he knocked her up. Of course, no one knows how to use protection. You'd think after two kids and being a single mom, she'd be a little more careful and make the man wear a condom while she is on BC.

If that upper-lipless creep doesn't stop hoisting Lidia up over his shoulder like a crane hoisting a shipping container in a fit of energy and to compensate for his lack of communicative skills, I will knock the stupid jokes out of him before he's sharing his hotel bed.

There must be something very, very wrong with April. Something isn’t right. Doctor, lawyer, and entrepreneur but the man you want is a rando from the DR that looks like he’s been pulled out of a drain? OK. Very reasonable.

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Frozendiva

Frozendiva

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I was and still am a bit of a picky eater. Lactose intolerance wasn’t a thing when I was young. Jessica knows her kids are picky eaters and it will take time to make adjustments. She should also be able to communicate with Juan about basic things like meals. That seemed to be a lot of wasted food.

I would be careful not to have a third kid until I know my spouse has visited where I live, has a sense of what life is like and if he likes the area, can find a job, etc. He might have adjustment issues if there are no Spanish speaking folks around and may want to move to a different state. Let him get used to being a step dad before introducing a new baby.

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Hotel Snarker

Hotel Snarker

I don’t like Escott at all. His “sense of humor” is 1. not funny and 2. causing confusion with the language barrier.

I don’t get April…

Total germaphobe and somehow also working as a doctor? Owns a luxury car dealership in a country where she doesn’t speak the language and seems shocked at what the capital city is like?

Like, she really makes no sense to me.

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endure

endure

On 5/4/2023 at 1:19 PM, Frozendiva said:

I was and still am a bit of a picky eater. Lactose intolerance wasn’t a thing when I was young. Jessica knows her kids are picky eaters and it will take time to make adjustments. She should also be able to communicate with Juan about basic things like meals. That seemed to be a lot of wasted food.

I would be careful not to have a third kid until I know my spouse has visited where I live, has a sense of what life is like and if he likes the area, can find a job, etc. He might have adjustment issues if there are no Spanish speaking folks around and may want to move to a different state. Let him get used to being a step dad before introducing a new baby.

Good points, he has SO many adjustments and he sounds like he is full of doubts.  I hope he doesn't feel trapped because it probably won't go well long term.  I just don't get these people not having protected sex.

On 5/3/2023 at 2:37 PM, Hotel Snarker said:

Jessica is just a mess. A parent of two, soon to be three by another man, who has no idea how to discipline kids. You don't need to throw a shoe at them, but the whole "picky" eater thing is stupid because my parents would say you're either eating it or you'll have to wait until the next meal. They weren't mean about it, but just a matter of fact: I'm your parent and I made you a meal. You'll either eat it or wait

Also, I know it's hard for single moms out there to find a man, but good god...why would you think this guy who is living in paradise would want to come to your pig shit infested town and raise kids who haven't been raised properly at all? Oh yeah because he knocked her up. Of course, no one knows how to use protection. You'd think after two kids and being a single mom, she'd be a little more careful and make the man wear a condom while she is on BC.

If that upper-lipless creep doesn't stop hoisting Lidia up over his shoulder like a crane hoisting a shipping container in a fit of energy and to compensate for his lack of communicative skills, I will knock the stupid jokes out of him before he's sharing his hotel bed.

There must be something very, very wrong with April. Something isn’t right. Doctor, lawyer, and entrepreneur but the man you want is a rando from the DR that looks like he’s been pulled out of a drain? OK. Very reasonable.

Seriously YES to all of that, honestly there's just not much hope for the world is there?  

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endure

endure

On 5/12/2023 at 12:25 PM, Frozendiva said:

Back in the day, it could have had a rumored title on Discovery Plus, so I went with that. Maybe the mod can edit the title to Love In Paradise. 

Oh well doesn’t much matter does it, it’s pretty bad by any name, can’t believe we are still seeing people from Familia Pedro, can’t stand any of the couples and it’s the first spin off I’ve watched and good thing I record it, I just never remember to watch it.  

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Hotel Snarker

Hotel Snarker

You could literally see Juan’s heart breaking when Jessica started complaining that things need to be done faster. The guy is clearly working his ass off. Now he’s suddenly handed 3 kids and told he can’t work a career that pays him well.

Our new guy, Matthew, is starting to give me the creeps. Why did he feel it was necessary to say Anna was hotter than any American woman he ever dated? Way to fetishize. Gross.

“Don’t ever keep a secret from me again,” says the woman who has a secret job her “fiancé” doesn’t know about.

  • Like 3
Hotel Snarker

Hotel Snarker

Matthew is exactly the kind of pasty, noodly white guy weirdo that is forced to go to another country to find a woman because no one here will have him. He’s objectively repulsive, and the only thing he has going for him is that he’s American.

Listening to Lidia accidentally change the voice of the app to a southern accent was so fucking funny to me. It reminded me of that time Peggy Hill was learning Spanish. “MAY LAHMO PEGGY HILL!”

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Hotel Snarker

Hotel Snarker

Let’s bring the notoriously picky eater to the river to eat a rustic soup with chicken feet and heads on a hot day, then tell him you’re knocked up with a foreign man’s baby. Brilliant.

A bright spot in this episode was the Jamaican boat owner’s commentary on Jordan taking her clothes off under the waterfall. 😂

Matthew simping to the max, Escott getting frustrated about not learning Spanish for whole year he talked to Lydia and kids not liking chicken heads in their soup. Yep this is all gonna be just fine.

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Lurk

Lurk

On 5/12/2023 at 2:13 PM, endure said:

This show is called Love In Paradise not Caribbean Love, maybe they changed it at some point, kind of weird lol.

Did a quick google because I thought it was Caribbean somethingerother previously. Searched for "Caribbean love TLC" and it started out as "Caribbean Love" and now it shows as "Love in Paradise: The Caribbean".

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Hotel Snarker

Hotel Snarker

Friend Jess, why wouldn’t you follow up with questions, such as, “That sounds threatening. What do you mean by saying it won’t be good for me. Specifically?” Come on. Nose out.

Dr. Lysol Bleach Bitch. She’s so uptight and germaphobic. She can’t even enjoy spending a day cooking with her fiancé family.

Coming soon to movie theaters this 12th Christmas of Never? “How the Grinch Stole Escott’s Patience” 

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monagatuna

monagatuna

21 hours ago, Hotel Snarker said:

Friend Jess, why wouldn’t you follow up with questions, such as, “That sounds threatening. What do you mean by saying it won’t be good for me. Specifically?” Come on. Nose out.

Dr. Lysol Bleach Bitch. She’s so uptight and germaphobic. She can’t even enjoy spending a day cooking with her fiancé family.

Coming soon to movie theaters this 12th Christmas of Never? “How the Grinch Stole Escott’s Patience” 

And you know that food is delicious AF. I'm not going to shame anyone for having a weak stomach, but she should've gotten a house, condo or VRBO and invited his family to dine there if she was so germaphobic. She had to know roughly how his family lived, and that she'd be there without him and no way to communicate. I know this is all for the cameras, but it's shameful.

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TeapotWakeen

TeapotWakeen

Carlos's revisionist history when telling Michelle that her coming to the wedding was the cause of the breakup had steam coming out of my ears!  Nope, dude, it was because you asked VaLentine to meet her, with an open mind ---- but then invited her before VaL could even do that! You said you would work together with him, but then went ahead and did what you wanted anyway, disregarding your agreement. I'd have broken it odd too -- probably wasn't the first time, and certainly wouldn't be the last. And then to push responsibility off on your friend? That's a big old NOPE too. Hope she's seen the show and has the EQ to see she's been played.

 

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Scarlett45

Scarlett45

On 6/13/2023 at 3:19 PM, TeapotWakeen said:

Carlos's revisionist history when telling Michelle that her coming to the wedding was the cause of the breakup had steam coming out of my ears!  Nope, dude, it was because you asked VaLentine to meet her, with an open mind ---- but then invited her before VaL could even do that! You said you would work together with him, but then went ahead and did what you wanted anyway, disregarding your agreement. I'd have broken it odd too -- probably wasn't the first time, and certainly wouldn't be the last. And then to push responsibility off on your friend? That's a big old NOPE too. Hope she's seen the show and has the EQ to see she's been played.

 

I’m brand new to this version, but Auntie’s Advice was covering it and she was especially hilarious so I started watching. I’ll have to watch more but I agree with you this far about Carlos and Val. 

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Teri313

Teri313

On 5/3/2023 at 5:37 PM, Hotel Snarker said:

Also, I know it's hard for single moms out there to find a man, but good god...why would you think this guy who is living in paradise would want to come to your pig shit infested town and raise kids who haven't been raised properly at all? Oh yeah because he knocked her up. Of course, no one knows how to use protection. You'd think after two kids and being a single mom, she'd be a little more careful and make the man wear a condom while she is on BC.

On 5/12/2023 at 3:04 PM, endure said:

I just don't get these people not having protected sex.

I just started binging this and, according to Juan, "Jess got baby fever" so they got pregnant intentionally. Unbelievable. 

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Hotel Snarker

Hotel Snarker

Granted, it would have been incredible if Valentine told April “AHM DUN” but I understand why he just left. Sometimes people are just SO full of themselves that whatever you have to add to the conversation just means nothing to them. Why keep putting up with it? Standing ovation and round of applause. Well done Valentine.

Who doesn’t want to be stared down by your cute bartender’s pregnant girlfriend? That’s what I call a vacation.

When Escott and his gal were making out when she arrived at the hotel room? EWWWWWWWWW.

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Hotel Snarker

Hotel Snarker

On 7/4/2023 at 10:24 PM, MrBuhBye said:

Lidia frolicking in the surf is their idea of a satisfying end?

Where is JAWS when you need him?

I hate Escott so much for making me feel some sort of sympathy for Lydia, especially when my natural inclination would be to clown on that beach scene: It’s time now for Lydia to live laugh love.

April displayed a HUGE red flag this episode (among the many others she has been displaying all season). When she was asked what she loves most about him, she answered with things that he can do for her, not things she loves ABOUT him. Anytime anybody says that what they love most about you is what YOU can DO for THEM, just head for the hills.

Juan’s right. Messica thinks that just because she's been a parent for nine years that it makes her a good parent. PLENTY of shitty parents. Her kids are god awful and she just laughs about it with a "boys will be boys" attitude. She does not discipline them at all, and they are going to grow up to be even worse as adults because of it. And the fact that she is unwilling to listen to his constructive and completely valid advice and would break up with him over it is ridiculous. He was the only sane person this season and I feel so bad that he's stuck with her. It isn't going to go well if he moves to Wyoming.

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zenme

zenme

On 7/5/2023 at 10:34 PM, Hotel Snarker said:

Where is JAWS when you need him?

I hate Escott so much for making me feel some sort of sympathy for Lydia, especially when my natural inclination would be to clown on that beach scene: It’s time now for Lydia to live laugh love.

April displayed a HUGE red flag this episode (among the many others she has been displaying all season). When she was asked what she loves most about him, she answered with things that he can do for her, not things she loves ABOUT him. Anytime anybody says that what they love most about you is what YOU can DO for THEM, just head for the hills.

Juan’s right. Messica thinks that just because she's been a parent for nine years that it makes her a good parent. PLENTY of shitty parents. Her kids are god awful and she just laughs about it with a "boys will be boys" attitude. She does not discipline them at all, and they are going to grow up to be even worse as adults because of it. And the fact that she is unwilling to listen to his constructive and completely valid advice and would break up with him over it is ridiculous. He was the only sane person this season and I feel so bad that he's stuck with her. It isn't going to go well if he moves to Wyoming.

I agree. Why do people get knocked up by someone they hardy know and think they’re just gonna ride off happily ever after into the sunset? For Jessica it’s even worse because she has 2 children she’s responsible for.  

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