S12.E01: Countdown to Meltdown

[humbleopinion]

Ten Atlantan singles get ready to meet their spouses. Telling family and friends, and the usual MAFS prep...tux, gowns.

[Straycat80]

I’m ready. I haven’t watched the two specials leading up to this episode. This one is three hours long (!), not sure I’ll make it thru without falling asleep. I don’t know when they filmed this with all the Covid restrictions. 

[NowVoyager]

3 hours again!?!

[Crashcourse]

Three hours is ridiculous, I'll have to check out after two hours.

[Crashcourse]

Virginia's nonstop prattling is getting on my nerves already.  She seems awfully young, even for 26.

[humbleopinion]

The first hour is a mix of what was shown before in the Matchmaking and Kickoff Specials about each cast member plus the friends/family reaction, over reactions...
Haley...with friends like these who needs enemies.....
Jacob..those pickles you are serving to your skeptical friends look good.
Anybody else getting Brett/ Olivia vibes?

[Hangin Out]

3 hours?  There better be a wedding!

[Kiss my mutt]

Um, Jacob, I hate to break it to you, bro, but that’s not a beach in your backyard, that’s a dam litter box. 

[Crashcourse]

Another prattler.  I missed this blonde's name.

Ok, her name is Clara. 

I hate Ryan's haircut.

Edited January 14, 2021 by Crashcourse

[Hangin Out]

Oh goody.  Australia is coming back next month.

[Kiss my mutt]

I’m totally NOT shipping Clara and Ryan,  the work-out man. Working out 2-3 hours a day is ridic unless it’s your Job. He will totally tune her out and she’ll be bored. 
I have my doubts that someone who uses Ble$$ed as his tag and says he’s a Christian, ain’t. Sorry Chris. You’re only Christian by association. MAFS done Paige dirty. 

Edited January 14, 2021 by Kiss my mutt

[Crashcourse]

The 38 year old guy looks like Steve Martin.

[Crashcourse]

Chris really thinks he's hot shit.  How sad.

[VioletNevermind]

Good Lord.  Watching these ladies, I have never felt so old.  I’m at least three episodes away from remembering anyone’s names, but I can see already that the little party girl is going to be a handful.  I assure you that I have never been that young.  Like, ever. 

[Straycat80]

Clara looks better with minimal makeup. Chris was engaged only a few months before this? I smell a disaster waiting to happen, poor Paige. 

[Crashcourse]

He actually called himself a "confident, handsome guy."  Dude is delusional. 

The pastor is cuter.

Edited January 14, 2021 by Crashcourse

[Kiss my mutt]

Chris is too in love with himself to  love anybody else. Saying he was “called” to reproduce himself. Who talks like that? 

[Crashcourse]

1 minute ago, Kiss my mutt said:

Chris is too in love with himself to  love anybody else. Saying he was “called” to reproduce himself. Who talks like that? 

Like I said, the dude is delusional.

[Kiss my mutt]

All the girls are much better looking than the guys who are quite homely. Oh wait, all the dudes are homely except for the black man with the beard who is rather cute!

Edited January 14, 2021 by Kiss my mutt

[Crashcourse]

Ok these chicks are getting too raunchy now.  I don't need to hear anymore about butt eating.  

I have a feeling this season will be a bust.

[VioletNevermind]

Uh, Blonde Chick, having strong religious beliefs does not prevent someone from having a healthy, active sex life.  Ugh.  She has a whole lot of catty things to say about everyone, doesn’t she?

(And yes, @Crashcourse, I agree.  If this had been my first season, it would probably be my last.  Some of these people are very off-putting, especially Hand$ome Chri$.)

Edited January 14, 2021 by Suzy Rhapsody

[Crashcourse]

I think the only "homely" guys are Chris, and Ryan with that stupid haircut.  

[Straycat80]

Just now, Crashcourse said:

Ok these chicks are getting too raunchy now.  I don't need to hear anymore about butt eating.  

I have a feeling this season will be a bust.

I was just going to say the same thing. Paige is God fearing religious but sounds like a freak in bed. 

[Empress1]

This cast is fairly unappealing (I find Clara and Virginia especially annoying - Clara is most aware that this is a show), and I don’t think many of these matches will work. Virginia isn’t ready to be married - she’s in the party girl, drink to get drunk phase of her life and I forget which one she’s matched with but I know it’s one of the white guys, who are both over 30 and want to settle down. 

I can see it for the car salesman and the engineer, maybe, and I see why Chris and Paige were matched but Chris is totally going to fuck this up. I think the “always a bridesmaid” is down to earth enough that she’ll go with the flow for a while. (I don’t know how old her friends are but they all look older than 20s.)

All the guys hate Chris, which is pretty funny.

I guess this was filmed during COVID. They must be testing - the cast isn’t wearing masks but the saleswoman in the bridal shop is. They should be wearing masks around her, though.

Edited January 14, 2021 by Empress1

[Crashcourse]

3 minutes ago, Empress1 said:

Virginia isn’t ready to be married - she’s in the party girl, drink to get drunk phase of her life and I forget which one she’s matched with but I know it’s one of the white guys, who are both over 30 and want to settle down. 

She's marrying the pilot guy, who seems to be nice and low key.  I don't see them working out.

[cardigirl]

Didn't Chris just get the same tux jacket as Vincent? 

[Kiss my mutt]

Is this the first time in MAFS, that none of the brides picked a godawful strapless wedding dress?

[Kiss my mutt]

Jamie Otis could have used a blindfold when she had to to walk down the aisle to Doug.

I think the bachelor and bachelorette parties are always revealing to me in getting an idea of who works out especially the guys. Definitely influences in forming my opinions of the cast. 
Hey, Masks, y’all!

[Empress1]

16 minutes ago, Kiss my mutt said:

Hey, Masks, y’all!

Watching them in this crowded room yelling and doing shots is stressing me the fuck out. I wouldn’t even go to these events if I was a friend-of. “Send me the Zoom link.”

This REALLY does not need to be three goddamn hours. Three hours and no weddings?!

Edited January 14, 2021 by Empress1

[Kiss my mutt]

Did the engineer girl say if he doesn’t perform fellatio, it’s a dealbreaker? I mean, I think that would be a good thing in a cis-marriage 

[Empress1]

3 minutes ago, Kiss my mutt said:

Did the engineer girl say if he doesn’t perform fellatio, it’s a dealbreaker? I mean, I think that would be a good thing in a cis-marriage 

I laughed. Her friend got the term wrong & she went with it (or didn’t know it was wrong).

It doesn’t seem like the guys like each other that much. 

Virginia doing a talking head while wasted, makeup all messed up, slurring about how she’s ready to be married, and then followed up with shots of her puking in the bathroom, was a trip. Her intended has talked about how traditional and conservative he is at length (a white dinner jacket was too much for him!). I don’t see it for them.

Some of them need makeup lessons. Too much, wrong colors.

Edited January 14, 2021 by Empress1

[VioletNevermind]

Bless Ryan’s heart.  This girl is going to eat him alive.  I’m here for it. 

[Straycat80]

Blindfolds? Where’s everyone’s masks? 

[Empress1]

33 minutes ago, Empress1 said:

Some of them need makeup lessons. Too much, wrong colors.

I know I’m quoting myself but I just saw Virginia’s purple and blue wedding eye makeup in the preview and I think it bears repeating.

Clara’s makeup was very lighting-dependent - sometimes she looked orange and sometimes, in different lighting, she looked more natural.

[scruffy73]

Ryan’s Jidenna looking ass needs a better haircut and needed to prioritize masks over blindfolds. BUT folks got their interracial marriage they have been clamoring for.

and we are getting a divorced man and an older man. Branching out.

Chris sucks. Poor Paige.

I don’t know anyone else’s name.

[LakeGal]

I thought Haley and her mom sure looked alike.  We can see what Haley will look like when she ages.

[topanga]

2 hours ago, Crashcourse said:

She's marrying the pilot guy, who seems to be nice and low key.  I don't see them working out.

They paired the party girl with the older (than her) divorced guy who wouldn’t even drink at the bachelor party and thought a white tux jacket was too racy? These producers go for the drama. 
 

Paige and Chris don’t seem compatible at all. He’s too narcissistic and superficial. And Paige says she wants to submit to her husband, but I don’t think Chris is the right guy for that  

And I initially liked Vincent and Brianna, but why was he chatting up one of the cage dancers? Should we blame it on the alcohol?

 All of the to-be spouses have pretty cool friends.  I always find them more interesting than the people who are actually getting married. Except the always-a-bridesmaid lady. Her friends annoyed me. “I didn’t think she’d ever get married.” She’s friggin 28! 
 

I know Clara is nervous on her wedding day, but she has turned into a Bridezilla  

 

Edited January 14, 2021 by topanga

[Adeejay]

I feel sorry for Paige; they did her wrong by pairing her with “handsome, confident” Chris. I noticed that his main focus is that his wife is “beautiful”.  I have a feeling he won’t be happy with his bride. His pastor is very handsome.

 Clare seems to have gotten her “ethnically ambiguous” man. Given his pointed ears, Ryan’s haircut doesn’t suit him.

 I am having a hard time understanding why they paired a 34 year old divorced pilot with a 26 year old party girl.  I have a feeling by the end of the season, only one couple will be left standing.

[NowVoyager]

I'm spoiled, but I. Died at the repeated shade towards #ble$$ed Chris. Vincent peeped him right away & called him shady. Even his "paster" called him out for being horny. Soo full of himself. Dude, you own a Subway sandwiches. I mean, good for you, but. Relax. 

I was bothered none of the men were tipping the strippers at the bachelor party. Not cool. 

Interesting that we actually have 2 inter-racial relationships. Vincent is Dominican & his bride to be is Black. People kind of consider the 2 to be inter-changeable, but they're not.

Hm. Actually most of them seem a little full of themselves. 

Edited January 14, 2021 by NowVoyager

[Ilovepie]

Wow. Just wow. Are they scraping the bottom of the barrel here or what? These women are too much. How in the hell did Virginia get picked? She is not ready to get married at all. And way to go experts, pairing the girl with issues from divorced parents with the first participant who has already been divorced. And strangely, that’s just the tip of the iceberg that is the mountain of reasons these two are completely incompatible. In this analogy, their marriage is The Titanic, I guess. Amelia sends her compliments on Virginia’s purple wedding day eyeshadow though......

 I was gearing up to feel sorry for Paige, but she talks in pseudo religious hyperbole just like her stranger fiancé, AND seems just as sex obsessed like him too. If he doesn’t find her “ugly” ( seriously, what a creep), they might compatible. Mr. Ilovepie observed that if Chris is so worried about women wanting him only for his money, he should probably stop bragging about how rich he is.....

Vincent and the stripper. SMH......dude, your new stranger wife is going to see this and will not be impressed with you trying to get her phone number! Be better!

Clara reminds me a little bit of Elizabeth. She is extra with a capital E. We’ll see if she becomes intolerable. I imagine some people here have already reached their limit with her. Oh and ps, Clara, from a biblical standpoint, being submissive has nothing to do with being subservient. I’m so tired of that verse being used out of context.

My feelings about Jacob and Haley can be summed up with ZZZZ.......

Can someone educate me about where this “whole wife” phrase comes from? I keep hearing them say it, and Amani said it last season too.....

[humbleopinion]

 MAFS lulled us last season with too many compatible and happily ever after couples....

To the longtime hardcore fan this season has the potential to be its worse ever....

Sharpen your snark knives...

Anyone else visualize Coronavirus Mist spewing from these idiots’ pieholes? So gross......

How about face shields or masks with the clear plastic mouth shields for these basic cable teevee fame whores?

[Truegem]

I’m convinced they choose the wrong matches just to have drama. 

[NowVoyager]

58 minutes ago, Truegem said:

I’m convinced they choose the wrong matches just to have drama. 

Aw. *Pats @Truegem's hand.* So sweet... So innocent... 🤣🤣🤣

 

Edited January 14, 2021 by NowVoyager

[humbleopinion]

17 minutes ago, NowVoyager said:

Aw. *Pats @Truegem's hand.* So sweet... So innocent... 🤣🤣🤣

Like the first signs of spring.....the newbies bring forth their skepticism and theories of intentional manipulation by MAFS production...
Let the snarking begin....

[cardigirl]

2 hours ago, humbleopinion said:

Like the first signs of spring.....the newbies bring forth their skepticism and theories of intentional manipulation by MAFS production...
Let the snarking begin....

Oh, I think after so many seasons, we can let go of "theories" and agree it's the actual formula for the show. 

[Racj82]

17 hours ago, Ilovepie said:

Wow. Just wow. Are they scraping the bottom of the barrel here or what? These women are too much. How in the hell did Virginia get picked? She is not ready to get married at all. And way to go experts, pairing the girl with issues from divorced parents with the first participant who has already been divorced. And strangely, that’s just the tip of the iceberg that is the mountain of reasons these two are completely incompatible. In this analogy, their marriage is The Titanic, I guess. Amelia sends her compliments on Virginia’s purple wedding day eyeshadow though......

 I was gearing up to feel sorry for Paige, but she talks in pseudo religious hyperbole just like her stranger fiancé, AND seems just as sex obsessed like him too. If he doesn’t find her “ugly” ( seriously, what a creep), they might compatible. Mr. Ilovepie observed that if Chris is so worried about women wanting him only for his money, he should probably stop bragging about how rich he is.....

Vincent and the stripper. SMH......dude, your new stranger wife is going to see this and will not be impressed with you trying to get her phone number! Be better!

Clara reminds me a little bit of Elizabeth. She is extra with a capital E. We’ll see if she becomes intolerable. I imagine some people here have already reached their limit with her. Oh and ps, Clara, from a biblical standpoint, being submissive has nothing to do with being subservient. I’m so tired of that verse being used out of context.

My feelings about Jacob and Haley can be summed up with ZZZZ.......

Can someone educate me about where this “whole wife” phrase comes from? I keep hearing them say it, and Amani said it last season too.....

I feel like the question "What does a whole wife mean?"   Was asked last year too.

It's just a phrase. There isn't really anything to define. It's like saying wow, I'm really going to be married soon. I'm about to be a "whole wife" out here. They mean the same thing. It's just a silly phrase some people say. Just like the phrase, I put my whole foot in this when someone is talking about food they cooked. That's saying you just put everything into the meal you made or that you killed it. Whatever you prepared came out great.

Edited January 15, 2021 by Racj82

[suzeecat]

It's surprising what a completely different vibe I'm getting from this season's couples.  So far I'm not rooting for any of them. 

First couple married, groom's idea for the mask was just a bad idea and the bride should have refused.  I think most brides dream of being seen by their groom walking down the aisle toward him like a vision.  Also, mask is going to mess up her makeup.  Last but not least, how awkward was it to stand in front of everyone for several minutes while masked, holding some unknown sweaty hands (he mentioned his sweaty hands)?  The last thing on either mind was "connecting" on an intimate level.  That just got everything started off in a bad way.  I wish someone would have told the bride that the last thing her groom would notice is the hem of her wedding gown for heaven's sake. 

And, does the "ble$$ed" guy get his hair trimmed every 15 minutes??? Why didn't SOMEONE have the guts to set him straight that looks are the LAST thing to worry about in a lifelong relationship?  Yeah, dude, define "ugly" because I haven't seen one ugly bride on this show yet, and I've been watching since S1.  They may have stooped to almost "average", but I haven't seen anything even close to "ugly" yet. 

Edited January 14, 2021 by suzeecat

[Empress1]

27 minutes ago, Racj82 said:

I feel like the question "What does a whole wife mean?"   Was asked last year too.

It's just a phrase. There isn't really anything to define. It's like saying wow, I'm really going to married soon. I'm about to be a "whole wife" out here. They mean the same thing. It's just a silly phrase some people say. Just like the phrase, I put my whole foot in this when someone is talking about food they cooked. That's saying you just put everything into the meal you made or that you killed it. Whatever you prepared came out great.

Piggybacking on this, “a whole [thing]” is a colloquial phrase commonly used among Black people. Yvonne Orji (Molly from Insecure) imitates her Nigerian mother saying “a whole me” in Yvonne’s stand-up special. It’s just for emphasis. A former coworker of mine once told me she broke up with her boyfriend because “he had a whole baby” that he didn’t tell her about.

2 minutes ago, suzeecat said:

I wish someone would have told the bride that the last thing her groom would notice is the hem of her wedding gown for heaven's sake. 

Also, when you buy a wedding dress a week before the wedding, you're going to have to let some shit go. There's no time for alterations. You get what you get and you don't get upset. 

Edited January 14, 2021 by Empress1

[Hangin Out]

12 hours ago, Straycat80 said:

I was just going to say the same thing. Paige is God fearing religious but sounds like a freak in bed. 

Just what Chris wants.  A freak in bed.

[Hangin Out]

11 hours ago, Kiss my mutt said:

Did the engineer girl say if he doesn’t perform fellatio, it’s a dealbreaker? I mean, I think that would be a good thing in a cis-marriage 

Geeze, these girls sure know a lot about sex.  I’m old and married a long time and learning a lot from them.  Not interested in that “ butt” thing.  No way!