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Getting to Genoa You All Over Again: Y&R Daily Chat


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27 minutes ago, Chatty Cake said:

Instead of blowing smoke up Summers ass about Harrison, Chance should point out that she is nothing to him now that she’s not married to Kyle.  Just like he’s a visitor Dominic’s life.  The girl needs a dose of reality. 

But isn't Chance's name still on Dom's birth certificate as the legal father? I can't remember how that whole nightmare ended.

28 minutes ago, Chatty Cake said:

Must Mariah be such an asshole all the time? Gossiping about Summer again. Grow up already!

Yeah I was also wondering what Mariah's current maladjustment is, making a special trip out to see Claire when they barely know each other. Seemed like the real point was to get someone on her side against Summer. Yawn. Mean girl b.s.

4 hours ago, lilmarysunshine said:

If a grown ass woman was fixated on my kid like that, I would see that as a red flag. 

Right? That's a whole field of red flags given the awful reason why Claire and Harrison are connected. I think Claire needs to be an adult and get her own sh!t worked out instead of leaning on someone else's young and impressionable child.

9 hours ago, Denize said:

If she really went to Wharton School of Business, why would she want to play nanny?

The writers seem to want the audience to forget both Claire's age and her professional qualifications. She should be running stuff at NE, not hanging out with an Abbott grandchild. But no, they apparently don't want her competing with Adam and Victoria. Claire's mommy has a participation ribbon from an art school in Europe and her younger uncle has an Ivy League MBA his own self. I bet the storyline would be way more exciting than Claire doing puzzles and eating cookies with Harrison.

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15 hours ago, Joimiaroxeu said:

Hey, it's Chance, just returned from lending some heat to the surface of the sun. <swoon>

Victoria had to have been kidding with her date outfit. Good thing Audra was out of town. I bet she'd have been pointing and laughing at Vikki's audacity to step on Audra's white bodycon dress style.

Meanwhile, dang if Tucker wasn't working his t-shirt and sweat pants, hard. Whew chile.

Wait, Summer was not suggesting changing her custody agreement with Kyle to keep Claire from spending so much time with Harrison, was she? Yikes, DEFCON 4!

Claire was acting like giddy little kid today. Except for the part where kids usually don't have the number to restaurant/bars in their cells. Seriously, she has to be able to call Society at any moment?

WHAT?!!??? TARA IS STILL IN PRISON!!!!???? What the actual fcuk, JG? She was charged with a relatively minor white collar crime. There's no reason for her still to be locked up. And you can miss me with the nonsense about Harrison not remembering her. Are you insane!!!??? Summer will never be Harrison's mother as long as Tara is alive and hasn't ceded her parental rights. FOH with that crap.

Oh sure, Claire. You "accidentally" left your wallet at Kyle's place. Women have been pulling that trick since the days when people lived in caves and rode on dinosaurs.

Both Kyle and Mariah showed up at the Tack House unannounced and uninvited. Rude much? But wow, Claire is quite the popular lady. She has new friends practically tripping over each other to spend time with her.

Gimme a break, Vikki. When have you ever had a relationship that ended well? Not since Neil, I'd wager. But you were way different back then, ha ha. Way.

Not sure how I feel about Claire getting the Mariah Copeland Seal of Approval.

Sigh, Tucker. What's it going to take for you to give up on Audra? No matter what nice things you do for her, she'll throw them back in your face. My guy, you need to want better for yourself.

I was wondering now they are bringing Tara up all of the sudden, if they will bring her back now. I’d love to see Summer’s reaction over that.

Tucker deserves better than Audra. I hope he is able to turn the tables on her and come out on top.

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1 hour ago, Chatty Cake said:

Must Mariah be such an asshole all the time? Gossiping about Summer again. Grow up already

I am definitely the world’s biggest asshole, because going off on Summer brings me a lot of joy.

Seriously, the whole Claire story is weird and off putting. It seems like the whole thing should be more complicated and emotional. It didn’t feel like any time was spent on how shocking it would be to find out your dead infant was alive and is now an adult who was brainwashed into believing she was abandoned. Like, holy shit, that’s huge! Victoria and Cole just took it in stride and formed a syrupy sweet family unit with her. We haven’t even gotten scenes of Claire meeting her siblings. Instead, we’re knee deep in this bizarre nanny shitshow. Someone needs to tell Kyle it’s creepy and inappropriate to bang the nanny.

5 minutes ago, realitytvfan1017 said:

Tucker deserves better than Audra. I hope he is able to turn the tables on her and come out on top.

I love Tucker, but he needs to admit he still wants to be with Ashley. Audra isn’t wrong about that, imo. 

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8 minutes ago, NinjaPenguins said:

I am definitely the world’s biggest asshole, because going off on Summer brings me a lot of joy.

Seriously, the whole Claire story is weird and off putting. It seems like the whole thing should be more complicated and emotional. It didn’t feel like any time was spent on how shocking it would be to find out your dead infant was alive and is now an adult who was brainwashed into believing she was abandoned. Like, holy shit, that’s huge! Victoria and Cole just took it in stride and formed a syrupy sweet family unit with her. We haven’t even gotten scenes of Claire meeting her siblings. Instead, we’re knee deep in this bizarre nanny shitshow. Someone needs to tell Kyle it’s creepy and inappropriate to bang the nanny.

I love Tucker, but he needs to admit he still wants to be with Ashley. Audra isn’t wrong about that, imo. 

I do really think he wants to be with Audra and has moved on. That being said, I do think he’d be better off with Ashley.

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23 minutes ago, NinjaPenguins said:

It didn’t feel like any time was spent on how shocking it would be to find out your dead infant was alive and is now an adult who was brainwashed into believing she was abandoned. Like, holy shit, that’s huge! Victoria and Cole just took it in stride and formed a syrupy sweet family unit with her. We haven’t even gotten scenes of Claire meeting her siblings. Instead, we’re knee deep in this bizarre nanny shitshow. Someone needs to tell Kyle it’s creepy and inappropriate to bang the nanny.

Even Claire referring to them both as "Mom" and "Dad" within a week was ridiculous. My husband met his birthmother as an adult. He always knew of her existence. He called her by her first name. 

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6 hours ago, lilmarysunshine said:

But Harrison has been a bust since he came on the scene

6 hours ago, lilmarysunshine said:

If a grown ass woman was fixated on my kid like that, I would see that as a red flag.

^^^Yes to all of this. Harrison is such a dud, and Kyle didn't need to be dad right now(or ever) seeing as how he's still a brat himself(who complains that their mother took a job he insisted she have??)Kyle also stays thinking with his dick where Claire is concerned, and even if warned his head will likely retreat further up his ass. It's a sad day when Summer's parenting to a kid she has little to no legal rights to, is better than that of his legal parent. Everyone wants Tara's bland, can't act for shit ass back to claim her son but a step up from that would be for Theo to be Harrison's father. Then he could pluck Harrison(and promptly dissapear) from Kyle the same way Kyle did to Ashland. 

2 hours ago, Joimiaroxeu said:

The writers seem to want the audience to forget both Claire's age and her professional qualifications. She should be running stuff at NE, not hanging out with an Abbott grandchild. But no, they apparently don't want her competing with Adam and Victoria. Claire's mommy has a participation ribbon from an art school in Europe and her younger uncle has an Ivy League MBA his own self. I bet the storyline would be way more exciting than Claire doing puzzles and eating cookies with Harrison.

True that. The only time the writers will probably remember Claire has a Wharton degree is when it's time to use it against a character they don't like i.e Adam and/or Jack. If they weren't gonna focus on the emotional journey this would realistically take and leave Claire in a mental hospital, then at least have her act like an adult ffs. She should be outright competing with her mother professionally by now and maybe even making headway. Claire being sweet would actually be good if used properly against Victoria's frigid nature. If I have to see either of them, I'd rather see them clash instead of click. Plus Victoria getting humbled by her shiny new daughter would get me excited enough to watch the show daily again. 

1 hour ago, NinjaPenguins said:

I love Tucker, but he needs to admit he still wants to be with Ashley. Audra isn’t wrong about that, imo. 

Perhaps. But I blame the writers for Tucker doing a piss poor job of showing he has lingering feelings for Ashley. I'm not sure if I'm supposed to believe that or not, I kinda doubt it. But again that's the good ole writing team at Y&R for us 🙃. As for Audra, if she really thought that then her tiresome back and forth with Tucker and willing to fight Ashley(well her alters more accurately) makes her look foolish at best, and desperate at worst. 

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56 minutes ago, MollyB said:

School's out, Victoria.  Bring your kids home.  Another thing that bothers me is she doesn't go visit them.  The end of the school year has a lot of activities and ceremonies (not necessarily graduation) that I would think she would want to go see.  And it would give her an opportunity to explain in person the Claire situation.  My bet is they are both going off on some school sponsored summer trip to Europe and we won't see them until they are grown-ass adults.

And never a mention of Reed.

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I know I am piling on Harrison but do these writers have kids? The dialogue is so cringe. "Hey, little buddy. What do you say we go get some of that famous ice cream from the stand at Chancellor Park and you can teach Claire your new moves on your skateboard?" And then Harrison responds like he is 3. We aren't in effin' Mayberry. Stop talking like it!

I have two now grown sons. Ain't no way at that age they would be jonesin' to spend time with some young woman in her 20s teaching them about the lifecycle of fruit flies.

Why do I feel like we all could legit write better scripts than they do? I don't think you would even need a lot of money to make the storytelling better. 

And I guess the Abbott pool, home to many lame parties through the years, got filled in with dirt? Maybe they can CGI it for July 4th. 

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Er, not exactly difficult to figure out who the anonymous investor is to take over Glissade.  Someone who has the bucks and is ruthless enough to pair up with a snake like Audra for a takeover?  But why do this?  And why pair up with her & against Tuck?  Guess we'll find out.

Yeah, I'm hating this sad-sack/loser routine from Tuck.  Yuck, enough already with this shit.  Man up, Tuck!  Fix the toup, slap on a shit-ton of under-eye concealer to hide the bags & get back to looking good.  OK, so Audra pulled her usual snake routine & bit ya, Tuck -- get over it, go bite back & stop being such a wimp!

Btw, I thought Zuleyka's acting was improving, but maybe not so much.  Sheesh, her acting today was really stinko.

Good scene with Nikki & Diane.  It's about time Diane told her directly that if she needs help, to lean on her own husband & leave Jack the hell alone.  Glad she finally told her to fuck the fuck off.

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4 hours ago, boes said:

Michael Mealor aka Bouffant Boy said in a fairly recent interview that there's one story he'd love to see happen and that would be Tara's return.  He thought it could be really good and be good drama for him, and Allison Lanier aka Summer to play.

He made it clear that this was just his wish, not an upcoming storyline but it sure sounds to me like that might be in the works.

Joimiaroxeu, your "Tara, come and get your son!" statement might just come true.

Back on topic, we see Mariah and Tessa so infrequently and when we do, it's either for a schmoopy fest and/or Mariah counseling session with Kyle.  I'm with NinjaPenguins, though - anyone, at any time, slamming Summer is must-see tv for me!

Usually I see when they mention a character’s name a lot, that means they are returning. I’m hoping too. I can’t wait to see Summer’s reaction if true .

4 hours ago, MollyB said:

Molly Predicts:  All this nanny shyte and Hairyson bonding is going to lead to Tara's return.  She will show up and Hairy will scream "the witch!" and Claire will deep six Tara to 'save' her young charge.  Then we'll have weeks/eons of Dummer ranting on about Claire's killing instinct and how she (Stuporgirl) is now the only mommy Hairyson has.

Apologizing in advance if this makes anyone want to throw up....

 

School's out, Victoria.  Bring your kids home.  Another thing that bothers me is she doesn't go visit them.  The end of the school year has a lot of activities and ceremonies (not necessarily graduation) that I would think she would want to go see.  And it would give her an opportunity to explain in person the Claire situation.  My bet is they are both going off on some school sponsored summer trip to Europe and we won't see them until they are grown-ass adults.

Spoilers show Claire will meet her siblings next week. And shocker, it’s the same kids who played them last. 

 

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(edited)

Of course it’s stupid Victor backing Audra. I was hoping the writers grew a brain and somehow it was anyone else even Tucker hiding behind a shell corporation to steal it back but no…of course Grampire has to win again.

In the scenes for next week Victoria’s younger spawn look none to pleased with older sister horning in. I mean they already never get time with their mom & now this interloper is sucking up what time she has. Katie looked especially nonplussed. 

Edited by pvandal
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Claire sits on the very top stair and watches Mommy and Daddy going out on a date. She is wearing a cute little onesie and clutching a teddy bear. VIctoria and Cole find her there when they get home, sound asleep. They take her upstairs and tuck her in. They stand there in the moonlight, watching her sleep. "I can't wait to see her face when she comes down in the morning and  sees the puppy we got her" says Cole.

I have stopped watching. I despise Victor and Nicki and Clairvicole make me sick. I still read here though, I just can't quit you. 

When Katie and Johnny meet Claire will they react the same way that Victoria did when she met Adam?  I really, really hope so. That might even get me watching again.

 

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Of course Audra is working for Victor. And contrary to her ridiculous assertion, she IS working FOR him, not WITH him. He will throw her out with yesterdays trash the minute she’s of no further use to him. 

meanwhile back at the abbot manse, Kyle is about this close to telling mom and dad that he’s defecting to NE where he’s appreciated. Even though he knows damn well Victor will do the same to him as he will to Audra. 

and oh look, Nikki and Diane are sniping at each other again 🙄

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Lily, beware of Billys bearing gifts.

Wah, wah, Audra. Whenever somebody says "it's just business," it's usually anything but. You're mad because you can't control the "anything but" with Tucker.

Jack. Throwing your obsessive friendship with Nikki in Diane's face is not the way you want to go.

Kyle's hair. There must have been a system of miniature levers, ropes, and pulleys holding his bouffant up. It defied gravity.

Salt and vinegar chips. Yum. Okay, William, you get one point for those.

I don't get Victor talking all that stuff to his family about how the Newmans must unite to run NE, and then turning around and trying to lure Kyle over from Jabot. Yeesh, Victor's hypocrisy never hits bottom, does it?

I liked the color of Lily's suit.

That old-fashioned telephone in Tucker's room was hilarious to me. Was it supposed to be an Art Nouveau decorative touch?

Tell him, Lily. Tell Billy about himself. If he's wants to honor Jill in the company name, why not add "Foster"? Oh right, because that wouldn't be an obvious connection to Billy.

Nikki, you and your Gang of Three tried to run Diane out of town. 'Member dat? I don't see why Diane should forgive you for anything.

Yes, Billy, you are indeed shallow and needy. Lily read you like an Archie comic book. You're the Jughead.

IMO the saddest thing about Diane and Nikki's Society catfight is that neither of them have a clue about the war Victor is launching against Jack. In Vic's world the wimmens don't need to worry their pretty little minds about man business.

WTF was that weird tat on Billy's arm? 😱😱😱

VICTOR???!!!! Of course he's the one buying Glissade out from under Tucker. And yep, Audra likely has no idea she's merely a pawn in Victor's bigger scheme. Giiirrrl, you big stupid.

Re the previews: Claire finally meets two of her siblings and she dresses up like she escaped from a remake of The Sound of Music. And Tucker better be faking or I will go to Paris and kill him so hard he'll die from it.

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Previews: Faith is also back and talking to someone about her parents love story? They dug Sharon out of mothballs to reunite with Nick? And then what? Go back in the closet?

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A Brief Recap - Fuck Off Friday

Billy has his nostrils running wide open, the better to inflate his giant head. He’s still on his Abbott Chancellor Winters bullshit, frantically, desperately skeezebombing Lily with every manipulative trick in his arsehole arsenal. Lily bakes his buttbiscuits but good.

Tucker seems resistant to the idea that Audra wants him to fuck straight off. (Don’t jump into an elevator with a woman who doesn’t want anything to do with you, sadsack!) Audra tells him all about himself and that she has an ‘angel investor’ helping her seize Glissade. The angel is of the fallen type. Like Lucifer. The devil. Satan. I’m trying to tell you it’s Victor. Feel the excitement.

Victor is also trying to lure Kyle to Newman Enterprises. That’s not revenge on Jack; that’s self-sabotage.

Jack and Diane dine without their big haired baby. Jack’s all “whatever, whatever, I do what I want” about his friendship with Nikki. Nikki comes to pick up takeout, as the wives of billionaires are wont to do. Each lady implies the other should fuck off.

Upon arriving home, Jack announces he’s taking off for Paris. For a second, I wondered if he was Audra’s mystery investor, as he is no fan of Tucker. Nah, it’s the usual “Victor Newman is Master of the Universe” song and dance. Kyle is a condescending twit, but gets his bouffant in a bristle when daddy scolds him.

Tucker sends an operative to spy on Glissade and, hopefully, to bring him back a complimentary comb. 

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Jill has heart issues that she’s going through difficult treatment but is doing well. There are many treatments for heart issues that can be  treated by drugs.  If Jill’s heart issues were major, then Snapper would have mentioned corrective surgery like a valve replacement, a stent to open the veins, bypass surgery, and when all else fails, heart replacement surgery. We are not there yet, but like Connor’s OCD, the monkeys with a keyboard could choose to elevate the malady. 

There is something very fishy about Bill’s insistence that adding Abbott to CW is to honor his mother.  As I said before, Jill was an Abbott 30 years ago, but after two failed marriages since John Abbott, Jill chooses to use Abbott, as her last name, once again.  No Bill, it’s not Jill’s legacy, it’s yours.  Using your mother’s illness as the pretense to add Abbott, makes you even  lower than whale shit. 

Stop groveling Tucker. Audra is definitely not worth it. Instead of walking away with giving Audra the company for free , Tucker walks away flush with cash. For me, Tucker is in a win win situation.  

Bull headed Bull headed?   Billy if Devon is bull headed then what are you?  You’re so self unaware that that you are the one that is bull headed or maybe I should say rock headed.  That fucking idiot Billy brings up how well they worked together at Chance Com.  They killed it?  No Billy, you killed Chance Com by doing what you do best, quit.  You expect Lily to ignore that you are nothing but a fuck up and everything you touch turns to shit. 

Well color me surprised 🫨 that Victor is the one who’s backing Audra. I guess that Audra didn’t need to sleep with Victor. It was just Victor’s hatred for Jack and the eventual take over of Jabot, got Victor to put up the funds to buy out Tucker. 

Is Audra’s ego so big that she can not realize  that it was possibly Victor and not her that convince the board members to back Audra takeover. 

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Uh, so why would Vic make the effort to do something to screw over Tuck?  Does he have anything against Tuck -- or even ANY connection to him?

Maybe Audra the snake called him & offered up this sneaky plan?  But last we saw Audra & Vic together was when Nikki fired her, & he was referring to her (clearly disdainfully) as "that Audra woman".  Something changed?  Doubt it.

Previews show Tuck having some sort of attack.  Faking?  Wouldn't put it past him.  I'd have much preferred that Tuck was the anonymous investor.  Show is involving Vic in almost all of the storylines.  Er, why??

And yeah, once again Audra thinks she's just soooooo clever -- times 2.  But no, smuggy Audra, you're an idiot, cuz now you're beholden to Vic . . . and that puts her in a way worse position than where she was with Tuck.  Looks like Vic doesn't like or respect her & would screw her over in a sec -- kinda like how Audra treats everyone, eh?  Eh, she'll get hers.  Stop wasting your time pining after this one, Tuck!

So where is the Vic-working-Kyle storyline heading?  Vic thinks Kyle has had enough of working for Jack & Diane and would wanna work for Newman?  Could he be that dumb?  Yup.  Maybe the hair goop is affecting his brain?  Or not even, he's probably just that dumb with or without the gobs of hair goop.

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47 minutes ago, Waldo13 said:

Well color me surprised 🫨 that Victor is the one who’s backing Audra. I guess that Audra didn’t need to sleep with Victor. It was just Victor’s hatred for Jack and the eventual take over of Jabot, got Victor to put up the funds to buy out Tucker. 

Is Audra’s ego so big that she can not realize  that it was possibly Victor and not her that convince the board members to back Audra takeover. 

Ah, thank you for this.  I was trying to figure out Vic's motive for being the investor in Glissade, but you got it.  Has nothing to do with Tuck, as it does with Vic's loony obsession with screwing over Jack.  Cuz Glissade is a competitor of Jabot.  Ugh, Vic, you're 80-something years old and you still wanna continue with this revenge/feud shit?  Really?  

OK, so Vic takes over Glissade . . . and then what?  Still not getting how Vic is gonna use Glissade to screw over Jack.

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1 hour ago, ScoobieDoobs said:

OK, so Vic takes over Glissade

But does he . . . the preview of next week's episodes did show Audra in her hotel room, all dressed up for what she expected to be a very triumphant Zoomed meeting of the Glissade board of directors, staring at the screen on her laptop in disbelief and saying: "What the hell?" - so, did Tucker's sneaky tactics to undermine Audra's sneaky tactics to get the board to agree to a sale of the company work - did Victor have a stroke before he could approve the wire transfer of the funds to purchase Glissade - or upon completion of the sale, did Victor send Audra a "You're services are no longer needed" notice - and she was so desperate to stick it to Tucker and put herself in charge that she neglected to read the ultra-fine print in her contract that makes terminating her contract with NE legally defendable.

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1 hour ago, ScoobieDoobs said:

Still not getting how Vic is gonna use Glissade to screw over Jack.

Maybe Victor's been trying to kill two birds with one stone, because if he's successful in luring Kyle away from Jabot for the CEO position at Glissade, then he'll have broken up Jack's "happy" family while also having access to Kyle's inside intel on Jabot.

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10 hours ago, ScoobieDoobs said:

It's about time Diane told her directly that if she needs help, to lean on her own husband & leave Jack the hell alone.

Jack and Nikki have a special bond, having been married, and divorced, twice, and as the parents of a baby son, John Abbott III, who died shortly after his birth, thirty years ago - - Diane does know all that, doesn't she?

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8 hours ago, Js Nana said:

Jack and Nikki have a special bond, having been married, and divorced, twice, and as the parents of a baby son, John Abbott III, who died shortly after his birth, thirty years ago - - Diane does know all that, doesn't she?

So what? She should not take precedence over his actual wife. I am with Diane on this one. Jack risked his life and sobriety with a stupid trick to get her off the sauce. Diane has every right to be pissed off about it.

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15 hours ago, pvandal said:

Of course it’s stupid Victor backing Audra. I was hoping the writers grew a brain and somehow it was anyone else even Tucker hiding behind a shell corporation to steal it back but no…of course Grampire has to win again.

In the scenes for next week Victoria’s younger spawn look none to pleased with older sister horning in. I mean they already never get time with their mom & now this interloper is sucking up what time she has. Katie looked especially nonplussed. 

Audra is supposed to be so smart, yet she’s not suspicious of why Victor wants to invest in Glissade , I didn’t see it as some hot commodity or anything. I don’t want Victor to win but if it taught Audra a lesson that would be great . Personally I want Tucker to outmaneuver Victor and Audra. 
 

I would actually like the Victor vs Jack storyline if they flipped the tables and Jack won with the Newman siblings working together. A real pipe dream yes, but it would be amazing. 

I don’t agree with OP about making Claire go psycho but I agree she’s so Pollyanna and they need something to spice up her character, make her naughty. Maybe pull some underhanded pranks on Summer to make her look bad and have everyone annoyed at Summer because she was mean to poor Claire. Maybe even with her siblings too. Nothing horrific but to play up with her goodie two shoes rep that isn’t really all that .
 

15 hours ago, Unathletic Club said:

Claire sits on the very top stair and watches Mommy and Daddy going out on a date. She is wearing a cute little onesie and clutching a teddy bear. VIctoria and Cole find her there when they get home, sound asleep. They take her upstairs and tuck her in. They stand there in the moonlight, watching her sleep. "I can't wait to see her face when she comes down in the morning and  sees the puppy we got her" says Cole.

I have stopped watching. I despise Victor and Nicki and Clairvicole make me sick. I still read here though, I just can't quit you. 

When Katie and Johnny meet Claire will they react the same way that Victoria did when she met Adam?  I really, really hope so. That might even get me watching again.

 

Rumor has it yes. Perhaps Katie is a little chip off the old block . That would serve Victoria right . 

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8 hours ago, Denize said:

Last I heard, the tacky house had three bedrooms. Will Clare have to share with Katie or will Clare move into the Abbott pool house, especially because Little Hasenpfeffer will be out of school all summer?

That’s probably why Katie didn’t look  happy in the preview.  She probably doesn’t want to share a room with a 30 year old sister either. 

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Dear Billy Abbott;

I’m so glad you’ve revived your advice column, though it’s rather unusual to write it using your real, legal name. Since you used a Chancellor Winters slush fund to purchase the Genoa City Blowhole, I guess that’s your prerogative. I need help with an obnoxious, egotistical co-worker. Imagine a motivational speaker high on bath salts and Red Bull, a creepily earnest youth pastor and an aardvark smooshed together and stuffed in the body of a sun bleached scarecrow. He wants to append his mother’s married name to our company’s name, which would require some amount of time and money invested in rebranding, marketing, etc. I think he just wants his last name on the letterhead. He also wants to demote my brother. This clown shoe keeps raving about “potential” and “this is our time” but offers no concrete ideas or plans, just questionable moves that benefit him. I’m also pretty sure he’s low key trying to get in my pants again. Hey, bub, did you really think a bag of chips (I know you get that shit for free, being the boss lady’s son) would persuade me to sink to your level?

Lily Winters, Teller of Truths

Dear Lily;

My advice? Give that dude what he wants. He’s like a perpetual motion machine that can’t stop, won’t stop until he gets what he wants or flames out spectacularly. And when the shit hits the fan, it splatters on everyone who stood in his way. Legit reasons to slow his roll bounce off his impenetrable armor of self regard. Also, his mother will die of a broken heart if you don’t agree with him. Do you want that on your conscience? Do you? BTW, the guy is in a committed relationship, so he’s totally not hitting on you. But, like, if you two ended up naked on the desk, he would not be disappointed.

Dear Billy Abbott;

Everyone is being super mean to me. My mom, a total ditz, is all up in my grill because I’m better at bidness than her. Then my dad gets huffy when I point that out. Now, I did make sure that my mom got the job I desperately wanted, but a good mom would gracefully decline. She abandoned me for years. She owes me. I had to grow up alone in a big mansion with an uncle who caused earthquakes when he sneezed. Once, a heavy book was jostled off a shelf and onto my little head. I grew a protective hair buffer and have worn it ever since. Anyways, I really want to bang my son’s nanny. And maybe I’ll take a job with my dad’s enemy. That’ll teach him.

Kyle Abbott, The Smirk Just Works

Dear Kyle;

First of all, stop lying to yourself. That elaborate follicular structure atop your head is there because you think it looks fly as fuck. Also, with the way your nanny keeps aging backwards, I’d keep your pop gun holstered until she bounces back to adulthood. Let it never be said that I wasn’t a beacon of positivity though! Break free from your parents and the corporate drama, little bouffant bird. Definitely land in the viper’s nest at Newman Enterprises, where your talents will be appreciated and your family ties won’t be weaponized. You’ll be a few rungs on the corporate ladder below the handsome fellow that you drove out of a job at Jabot with your titty baby tantrums, but I’m sure he’s not the type to hold a grudge. Good luck!

Dear William Foster Abbott;

It’s such a relief not to be hiding behind pseudonyms anymore, isn’t it? Although there is a bit of an illicit thrill in the high class game of hiding ugly truths behind false fronts. Speaking of false fronts, I am being troubled to no end by a certain harridan who believes that being married to a man takes him out of my sphere of control. The cheek! Yes, her husband spent an evening in a hotel room with me and almost died to prove a point, but I’m sober now and isn’t that what matters? If her marriage can’t withstand a little overdose, well, that’s hardly my problem. She even had the gall to question the strength of my marriage! Fortunately, my husband blames her husband entirely, which means I come out as clean as servant-polished silver. This shrew was gauche enough to be salty with me in public. Tsk tsk. In an unrelated matter, one of my hallways reeks of brussel sprouts. Could there be poors living in my walls?

Nicole Newman, Countess Chocula

Dear Nicole;

You know what would actually be a relief? If you didn’t hide your crass selfishness behind haughty, lady of the manor fancy talk. I put my self absorption right out on front street and I choose to believe people respect me for it. Look, I sincerely congratulate you on your sobriety, but you need to do something about being high on the Newman supply 24/7. You may not care about my brother’s marriage (been there, done that), but your husband is a total psychopath who blames him for… I don’t know, what could have happened? If my brother is your bestie, nip your dark lord’s campaign of vengeance in the bud before he replaces my brother with another South American narcotics kingpin. Wow. There’s a sentence I never thought I’d type. Anyways, I wouldn’t worry too much about the pungent sprout odor. One of the maids probably forgot to clean Nick’s litter box again.

  • Fire 3
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35 minutes ago, NinjaPenguins said:

Dear Billy Abbott;

I’m so glad you’ve revived your advice column, though it’s rather unusual to write it using your real, legal name. Since you used a Chancellor Winters slush fund to purchase the Genoa City Blowhole, I guess that’s your prerogative. I need help with an obnoxious, egotistical co-worker. Imagine a motivational speaker high on bath salts and Red Bull, a creepily earnest youth pastor and an aardvark smooshed together and stuffed in the body of a sun bleached scarecrow. He wants to append his mother’s married name to our company’s name, which would require some amount of time and money invested in rebranding, marketing, etc. I think he just wants his last name on the letterhead. He also wants to demote my brother. This clown shoe keeps raving about “potential” and “this is our time” but offers no concrete ideas or plans, just questionable moves that benefit him. I’m also pretty sure he’s low key trying to get in my pants again. Hey, bub, did you really think a bag of chips (I know you get that shit for free, being the boss lady’s son) would persuade me to sink to your level?

Lily Winters, Teller of Truths

Dear Lily;

My advice? Give that dude what he wants. He’s like a perpetual motion machine that can’t stop, won’t stop until he gets what he wants or flames out spectacularly. And when the shit hits the fan, it splatters on everyone who stood in his way. Legit reasons to slow his roll bounce off his impenetrable armor of self regard. Also, his mother will die of a broken heart if you don’t agree with him. Do you want that on your conscience? Do you? BTW, the guy is in a committed relationship, so he’s totally not hitting on you. But, like, if you two ended up naked on the desk, he would not be disappointed.

Dear Billy Abbott;

Everyone is being super mean to me. My mom, a total ditz, is all up in my grill because I’m better at bidness than her. Then my dad gets huffy when I point that out. Now, I did make sure that my mom got the job I desperately wanted, but a good mom would gracefully decline. She abandoned me for years. She owes me. I had to grow up alone in a big mansion with an uncle who caused earthquakes when he sneezed. Once, a heavy book was jostled off a shelf and onto my little head. I grew a protective hair buffer and have worn it ever since. Anyways, I really want to bang my son’s nanny. And maybe I’ll take a job with my dad’s enemy. That’ll teach him.

Kyle Abbott, The Smirk Just Works

Dear Kyle;

First of all, stop lying to yourself. That elaborate follicular structure atop your head is there because you think it looks fly as fuck. Also, with the way your nanny keeps aging backwards, I’d keep your pop gun holstered until she bounces back to adulthood. Let it never be said that I wasn’t a beacon of positivity though! Break free from your parents and the corporate drama, little bouffant bird. Definitely land in the viper’s nest at Newman Enterprises, where your talents will be appreciated and your family ties won’t be weaponized. You’ll be a few rungs on the corporate ladder below the handsome fellow that you drove out of a job at Jabot with your titty baby tantrums, but I’m sure he’s not the type to hold a grudge. Good luck!

Dear William Foster Abbott;

It’s such a relief not to be hiding behind pseudonyms anymore, isn’t it? Although there is a bit of an illicit thrill in the high class game of hiding ugly truths behind false fronts. Speaking of false fronts, I am being troubled to no end by a certain harridan who believes that being married to a man takes him out of my sphere of control. The cheek! Yes, her husband spent an evening in a hotel room with me and almost died to prove a point, but I’m sober now and isn’t that what matters? If her marriage can’t withstand a little overdose, well, that’s hardly my problem. She even had the gall to question the strength of my marriage! Fortunately, my husband blames her husband entirely, which means I come out as clean as servant-polished silver. This shrew was gauche enough to be salty with me in public. Tsk tsk. In an unrelated matter, one of my hallways reeks of brussel sprouts. Could there be poors living in my walls?

Nicole Newman, Countess Chocula

Dear Nicole;

You know what would actually be a relief? If you didn’t hide your crass selfishness behind haughty, lady of the manor fancy talk. I put my self absorption right out on front street and I choose to believe people respect me for it. Look, I sincerely congratulate you on your sobriety, but you need to do something about being high on the Newman supply 24/7. You may not care about my brother’s marriage (been there, done that), but your husband is a total psychopath who blames him for… I don’t know, what could have happened? If my brother is your bestie, nip your dark lord’s campaign of vengeance in the bud before he replaces my brother with another South American narcotics kingpin. Wow. There’s a sentence I never thought I’d type. Anyways, I wouldn’t worry too much about the pungent sprout odor. One of the maids probably forgot to clean Nick’s litter box again.

OMG, I’m so happy you wrote this . I’m on my break at work and I’m laughing hysterically. Luckily I’m downstairs and no one is here now. Please continue the column again. They are so good and please continue this !!😆😆😆

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30 minutes ago, NinjaPenguins said:

Anyways, I wouldn’t worry too much about the pungent sprout odor. One of the maids probably forgot to clean Nick’s litter box again.

NinjaPenguins, you done did it again and killed me ****DEAD****

All of it, your entire post is utter brilliance and a terrific thing to read first thing on the interwebby.

So many wonders to behold, such as 

33 minutes ago, NinjaPenguins said:

little bouffant bird

this, and

34 minutes ago, NinjaPenguins said:

with the way your nanny keeps aging backwards, I’d keep your pop gun holstered until she bounces back to adulthood.

this, and

34 minutes ago, NinjaPenguins said:

Kyle Abbott, The Smirk Just Works

this,

35 minutes ago, NinjaPenguins said:

This clown shoe

this, and the crown jewel, 

35 minutes ago, NinjaPenguins said:

an obnoxious, egotistical co-worker. Imagine a motivational speaker high on bath salts and Red Bull, a creepily earnest youth pastor and an aardvark smooshed together and stuffed in the body of a sun bleached scarecrow.

Let me leave you with a special thanks for this great post with something I treasure, and I know you will, as well.....

 

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33 minutes ago, MollyB said:

Me, too.  And when they put it together that Claire is connected to the torching of their home it should be interesting.  Is this the first the kids have heard of Claire?  They looked really surprised.  And are we supposed to believe they are all going to live in the Tacky House?  Seriously?

 

I guess he's going to turn Glissade into a major cosmetic house and blow Jabot out of the water.  Kinda of what Tucker and Assley were going to do but failed.

Ninja!!! A work of art-thank you!

Agreed on all!!!!

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3 hours ago, NinjaPenguins said:

Dear Billy Abbott;

I’m so glad you’ve revived your advice column, though it’s rather unusual to write it using your real, legal name. Since you used a Chancellor Winters slush fund to purchase the Genoa City Blowhole, I guess that’s your prerogative. I need help with an obnoxious, egotistical co-worker. Imagine a motivational speaker high on bath salts and Red Bull, a creepily earnest youth pastor and an aardvark smooshed together and stuffed in the body of a sun bleached scarecrow. He wants to append his mother’s married name to our company’s name, which would require some amount of time and money invested in rebranding, marketing, etc. I think he just wants his last name on the letterhead. He also wants to demote my brother. This clown shoe keeps raving about “potential” and “this is our time” but offers no concrete ideas or plans, just questionable moves that benefit him. I’m also pretty sure he’s low key trying to get in my pants again. Hey, bub, did you really think a bag of chips (I know you get that shit for free, being the boss lady’s son) would persuade me to sink to your level?

Lily Winters, Teller of Truths

Dear Lily;

My advice? Give that dude what he wants. He’s like a perpetual motion machine that can’t stop, won’t stop until he gets what he wants or flames out spectacularly. And when the shit hits the fan, it splatters on everyone who stood in his way. Legit reasons to slow his roll bounce off his impenetrable armor of self regard. Also, his mother will die of a broken heart if you don’t agree with him. Do you want that on your conscience? Do you? BTW, the guy is in a committed relationship, so he’s totally not hitting on you. But, like, if you two ended up naked on the desk, he would not be disappointed.

Dear Billy Abbott;

Everyone is being super mean to me. My mom, a total ditz, is all up in my grill because I’m better at bidness than her. Then my dad gets huffy when I point that out. Now, I did make sure that my mom got the job I desperately wanted, but a good mom would gracefully decline. She abandoned me for years. She owes me. I had to grow up alone in a big mansion with an uncle who caused earthquakes when he sneezed. Once, a heavy book was jostled off a shelf and onto my little head. I grew a protective hair buffer and have worn it ever since. Anyways, I really want to bang my son’s nanny. And maybe I’ll take a job with my dad’s enemy. That’ll teach him.

Kyle Abbott, The Smirk Just Works

Dear Kyle;

First of all, stop lying to yourself. That elaborate follicular structure atop your head is there because you think it looks fly as fuck. Also, with the way your nanny keeps aging backwards, I’d keep your pop gun holstered until she bounces back to adulthood. Let it never be said that I wasn’t a beacon of positivity though! Break free from your parents and the corporate drama, little bouffant bird. Definitely land in the viper’s nest at Newman Enterprises, where your talents will be appreciated and your family ties won’t be weaponized. You’ll be a few rungs on the corporate ladder below the handsome fellow that you drove out of a job at Jabot with your titty baby tantrums, but I’m sure he’s not the type to hold a grudge. Good luck!

Dear William Foster Abbott;

It’s such a relief not to be hiding behind pseudonyms anymore, isn’t it? Although there is a bit of an illicit thrill in the high class game of hiding ugly truths behind false fronts. Speaking of false fronts, I am being troubled to no end by a certain harridan who believes that being married to a man takes him out of my sphere of control. The cheek! Yes, her husband spent an evening in a hotel room with me and almost died to prove a point, but I’m sober now and isn’t that what matters? If her marriage can’t withstand a little overdose, well, that’s hardly my problem. She even had the gall to question the strength of my marriage! Fortunately, my husband blames her husband entirely, which means I come out as clean as servant-polished silver. This shrew was gauche enough to be salty with me in public. Tsk tsk. In an unrelated matter, one of my hallways reeks of brussel sprouts. Could there be poors living in my walls?

Nicole Newman, Countess Chocula

Dear Nicole;

You know what would actually be a relief? If you didn’t hide your crass selfishness behind haughty, lady of the manor fancy talk. I put my self absorption right out on front street and I choose to believe people respect me for it. Look, I sincerely congratulate you on your sobriety, but you need to do something about being high on the Newman supply 24/7. You may not care about my brother’s marriage (been there, done that), but your husband is a total psychopath who blames him for… I don’t know, what could have happened? If my brother is your bestie, nip your dark lord’s campaign of vengeance in the bud before he replaces my brother with another South American narcotics kingpin. Wow. There’s a sentence I never thought I’d type. Anyways, I wouldn’t worry too much about the pungent sprout odor. One of the maids probably forgot to clean Nick’s litter box again.

Quoted in its majestic entirety to say: @NinjaPenguins, I bow in your general direction. <17 minutes standing ovation>

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7 hours ago, MollyB said:

Me, too.  And when they put it together that Claire is connected to the torching of their home it should be interesting.  Is this the first the kids have heard of Claire?  They looked really surprised. 

Maybe they were surprised their late 20s/early 30s sister seemed to be styled by Jan Brady in 1973.

Clare has gone from wearing business suits to seriously looking and acting like a preteen from my youth. 

  • LOL 11
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(edited)
On 6/14/2024 at 1:16 PM, Skarzero said:

)Kyle also stays thinking with his dick

Well,, it works better than his brain, amirite?

So help me out here. Nikki is in AA as she's a drunk.  Jack is a pill addict--why isn't he in NA?

Edited by One Tough Cookie
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53 minutes ago, One Tough Cookie said:

Well,, it works better than his brain, amirite?

So help me out here. Nikki is in AA as she's a drunk.  Jack is a pill addict--why isn't he in NA?

He graduated, got a diploma and everything. The cap and gown were adorable.

Nikki is a lifetime learner.

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(edited)

Hey, just had a thought -- maybe Vic will boot out Audra real quick . . . with the sole intention to offer Kyle the position to head up Glissade?  And angry Audra will get back with sad-sack Tuck . . . and pretty much accomplish nothing, except a whole lotta huffing & puffing & babble?

Dead Martin (who's still pretending to be Alive Alan) will woo both Tracy & Ashley, while Jack watches?  We'll see Alan morph into Martin when Jack gets too nosy . . . er, six seconds after he enters fake Paris?

Vicky's previously MIA kids will sneer at Claire & ask Vicks why she prefers this wacko, suspiciously icky-sweet, 30 year old pretend-teen to her kids who actually are teens?  Fireworks ensue?

Ah, a scene with Lily & Daniel?  Is he already tired of & bored with Heather & her hair?  I know I sure am.  What a boob.  What man choices show gives you, Lily -- this boob, and Billy, who always talks to ya like a used car salesman trying to unload a lemon.  Poor Lily, do the writers hate her that much, she can't even get an office bigger than a closet?

I had predicted a June wedding for Kyle & Claire.  Maybe push that prediction back to August?  Dang, those Newmans & Abbotts sure like marrying each other, eh?

Edited by ScoobieDoobs
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On 6/14/2024 at 11:10 AM, NinjaPenguins said:

Someone needs to tell Kyle it’s creepy and inappropriate to bang the nanny.

Just ask Joe Piscopo.

 

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(edited)
12 hours ago, ScoobieDoobs said:

maybe Vic will boot out Audra real quick . . . with the sole intention to offer Kyle the position to head up Glissade? 

Yep, probably. What I don't see is why Kyle would go back to working for Victor again. The last time he tried it Victor eventually sent Kyle packing back to his own family's company. Nothing's really changed so Kyle'd have no reason to expect a real opportunity at NE/NM this time around. Besides Victor's word, that is, and his assurances are pretty much worthless for Abbotts.

Edited by Joimiaroxeu
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14 hours ago, ScoobieDoobs said:

offer Kyle the position to head up Glissade? 

With Adam being ensconced at Newman Media (because he's a ruthless as Viktor...[?]) it sounds more as if Viktor wants to take everything away from Tucker, who may or may not still have his interests/company in media.  And, no, I have no idea what Viktor has against Tucker, but none of this makes sense anyway.

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I never realized that Tuckers unkempt sticking up hair was a toupee until last weeks shift was pointed out.   Now it’s all I see. Personally I think Tuckers Toupee would be a better storyline than Ashley’s Alters and way better than 85 year old turd unleashes fury on 70 year old rival. 

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(edited)

Is Jack even more pathetic than Tucker? The sad eyes (kind of like Tucker's) and helpless looks annoy me to no end.  I hope for Diane to rain fire down on Nicki and Jack. Most of all, Jack. Just me?

And if it is Victor behind Audra's rise to power...I want him to oust her and put Kyle in charge of Gliss-whatever; he can find other accommodations for himself and his son. One that has quarters for the nanny.😍

I also want Claire to be back-benched for awhile.  She can attend summer school for poor attendance and failing algebra. I saw the actress playing an age 20-something character the other day on an NCIS rerun.  Gibbs was not as aged as he was at the end of his tenure there. Just saying.

Edited by Kemper
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57 minutes ago, lilmarysunshine said:

Not done with this episode yet but this cannot wait. WTF is wrong with Sharon Case?! 

She was never a Meryl Streep but my lord .... it ain't just the filler and botox. 

I didn't tune in til about 15 minutes from the end of the show. So I missed it! I also missed her the other day; but apparently the original Sharon is the latest cast member to have a twin? 

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Why the heck is JG so OBSESSED with mental health storylines? It’s been going on for years now - Chelsea’s depression, Connor’s OCD, Ashley’s DID, now immediately into Sharon and her bipolar med problems? It’s non-stop. As a real-life healthcare provider, I would like to request a break from this on my soap opera for a couple of weeks (at Ieast) once Sharon’s sure-to-be-annoying story runs it course?

 It’s not like he even did a great job with any of them (Chelsea’s was well done but I haven’t been impressed with the more recent ones)

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1 hour ago, Kemper said:

I didn't tune in til about 15 minutes from the end of the show. So I missed it! I also missed her the other day; but apparently the original Sharon is the latest cast member to have a twin? 

She butted in to Chelsea and Adam's conversation about Connor at Crimson Lights and her delivery is always just so awkward and stilted. She's just a terrible actress and I don't remember her being THAT bad back in the day - with MM's Adam, for example. 

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2 hours ago, lilmarysunshine said:

Not done with this episode yet but this cannot wait. WTF is wrong with Sharon Case?! 

She was never a Meryl Streep but my lord .... it ain't just the filler and botox. 

Her behavior reminded me of a time many years ago when I got drunk at a graduation party and was trying to come off sober to my parents. 

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