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S02.E01: Moveable Beast


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All the Beauchamp witches have trouble remembering exactly what happened after the portal opened and fear a mystical presence crossed over to their world. Victor helps Joanna fight what seems to be a losing battle with her argentum poisoning. Ingrid develops a dangerous sleep walking habit while Freya has visions of Killian in danger.
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Yeah, that was the weirdest ending I've seen on a show in a long time. Blue creature (that looked like he walked out of the Street Fighter video game) tentacle rape in the forest? That was new.

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I kind of agree with Adam there, though I'm surprised he didn't mention how dark--physically--the season opener was.  Semi-seriously, it's hard to admire the Pretty when it's cloaked in darkness.

 

And whatever points the season opener earned with Dash at least trying to deal with/understand what was going on (if filtered through TV science) and Wendy just being Wendy were wiped out by Dash's mysterious blackmailer-to-be, Eva the owl, the whole thing with Frederick (oh, how my warning radar pinged when he deus ex machinaed Joanna back to health) and especially the tentacle porn.

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Bill, you're totally right.  I spent a decent amount of the Frederick-in-the-forest scenes trying to make sure that wasn't Killian. 

 

As for the tentacles...look, I have zero problem with WOEE taking a page from Sleepy Hollow and leaning into the curve when it comes to weird shit.  But man, that felt like it was out of left field.

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That was meh. I don't like Ingrid, but I'm not sure if that's because of the show, or the fact that I hate Ingrid in the books. It will be interesting to see if Freddie differs from the books.

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 I'm surprised he didn't mention how dark--physically--the season opener was.

 

I watched a screener with unfinished effects (not the tentacle porn -- that was fully...intact!) so I assumed (hoped!) the darkness was just unfinishedness. I'm actually shocked to learn that it aired like that! I thought Frederick and the EMT were the same guy until he showed up at the house. And wait...owl Eva? Who in the what? Is Eva Kendra? Did she turn into an owl? I clearly missed something!

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(edited)

And wait...owl Eva? Who in the what? Is Eva Kendra? Did she turn into an owl? I clearly missed something!

 

She had an owl tattoo on her back, calling back to Wendy's owl tarot card thing.

 

I liked the premiere. It felt even cheesier than before! It was so dark though. And yea the effects at the beginning with cat Wendy were so bad.

Edited by peachmangosteen
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I thought the morph wasn't bad--if perhaps a bit retro-cheap in style, so to speak.  (Figures that we had to wait an entire season to get it, though.)  But none of the effects were exactly brilliant, save perhaps the pyro and...yeah, the damn tentacle porn.  Which is impressive in itself if just for apparently making us all go "What the hell, show?" as opposed to "Wait, who or what is that that Ingrid's with?  She's sleepwalking again, right?"

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I'm ashamed to admit how much I missed this crap show. I re-watched the season 1 finale on Friday morning in preparation for last night's S2 premier. I really had an issue with Joanna getting "healed" so quickly. Unless Frederick actually did some other curse on her that comes into play later, it just felt like lazy writing.

I have only read one of the books, so I don't know how close they have or will continue to be to the source material.

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(edited)

The season opener is explained at TV Line, the producer thought the forest monster was sexy, personally it squicked me out. There are books?

Edited by missbonnie
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When someone knocked at the door, I suddenly noticed Wendy was tiptoeing down the shadowy hall, past way more light fixtures than any normal home.  And the front door was still pitch black.

 

Wait. . .what?  Let's go to the replay. 

 

Counting lamps, wall sconces, candles and that massive chandelier, there were over 30 light sources between the couch where they were sitting and the front door.   Wendy should have been rocking Ray-Bans. 

 

In Frederick's bedroom, there are nine lamps. ( I hope he brought a sleep mask through the portal.)

 

And it's not just Witch Manor!  Dash had three lamps plus a roaring fire in the walk-in hearth, but his face was still "bathed by the eerie glow" from his laptop.

 

What's with all these crazy light bulbs?  Is East End cursed with ineffective wattage?

 

P.S.  No problem seeing that tentacle slip beneath her hem out there in Birnam Wood at midnight.

 

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The season opener is explained at TV Line, the gal playing Ingrid thought the forest monster was sexy, personally it squicked me out. There are books?

Sexy? Well, maybe it was sexy, I may not have been able to see that well through my tears of laughter. I'm beginning to suspect Ingrid has a bit of a fetish. First a ghost, now tentacles... It really does fascinate me. Not to mention whatever it is that makes her the only special snowflake that can open the portal.

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The season opener is explained at TV Line, the producer thought the forest monster was sexy, personally it squicked me out. There are books?

Yeah, there are books, it's a trilogy by Melissa de la Cruz.

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That anyone involved thought that was sexy is disturbing. It wasn't creepy sexy, it wasn't disturbing sexy, it was comical and no, not comical sexy. It was anti-sexy. All I could think was "of course Ingrid is sleepwalking into the forest to get raped by a naked guy with scales and tentacles. I mean, what else could it possibly have been. "Do you need me to feed you?" is that really what she said to that thing? The hell? Pretty much everything that happened this ep was sexier than that. Except the really, painfully, sadly obvious not S&M sex her parents were not having at the beginning. Sorry show, there was not even a second when I thought they were getting it on. The leaches were a surprise though.

 

Really disappointed that Greasy Brother is alive. As bland as Bland Brother is, he's still not as annoying to me as Greasy Brother. Ugh. Hate him. Still glad the show is back.

 

Interesting about he number of light sources in the house because I often watch shows like this, that are trying to be scary and dark, and just wonder why the hell no one turns on a damned light. It's especially true on this show when all they have to do is snap their little fingers and light every damn candle in the place.

 

So, how long before Daddy shows up? You know he's got to be coming. Joanna and Wendy didn't bring him up for nothing.

 

So far the only thing I'm really curious about is what the deal is with the herb obsessed EMT. He's got to be more than just man-candy for Wendy, right?

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OK, just watched this premiere. Mental note to Self: Never admit to another human being in RL that I watch this show. 

 

First, the tentacles.  Splinters, yo.  That is all.

 

Second, I hated EMT guy.  I don't know if he's supposed to be a prospective love interest but he's a rude asshat.  Unless they plan to disintegrate him like Mike, he can leave now.

 

Third, I liked when they used a real cat for Cat Wendy, not a creepy CGI cat. I may have to now take back some of my Cat Wendy love. 

 

Fourth,  Killian lives.  Damn.

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Art teacher. This the benefit of having watched all of season 1 two days ago.

I have yet to see Joanna GO to work, though. Maybe it's summer?

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So both the brother and the beast came thru the portal? That beast creeped me smooth out with his tentacles doing the unmentionable. Also what happened to Freddy Prinze Jr's character? I was waiting for his sexy self to show up.

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(edited)

LOL I didn't realize that was Kendra from Buffy. Great recap. The thing that really cracked me up was Dash coming into the Bent Elbow just to stare daggers at Freya all night long, then when she finally approaches him he warns her to stay the hell away from him. Uh, dude? You're the one that came into her bar. 

Edited by iMonrey
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In a bizarre way Mr. Tentacle highlights one of the two things the show's been fairly consistent about since it began: Ingrid was the strait-laced good sister before Wendy showed up and everything went to magic hell, and she's been involved in the weirdest shit ever since.  (With the possible exception of the Serpent's Clavum corrupting Wendy, but that goes back to the other consistency: Joanna, in the name of protecting her daughters, has lied about all kinds of things when she really, really needed to come clean.)  Albeit it's only partly been by choice, though that choice--"Hey, I'm going to summon the hot dead black guy's ghost as a coping mechanism!"--was more than bad enough.

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What I find hilarious though is everybody's party line about Ingrid being the "boring one." It was a topic of discussion this very episode. Ingrid, you ain't boring. You do more and more insane shit as the series goes on and it entertains the hell out of me.

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Ingrid even paid lip service to it in this episode, IIRC.  And now she's the portal to Bizarro Asgard, sleepwalking and banging Mr. Tentacle, and Freya's...looking for Killian.  That's it.  I guess I have to give the show points for this minor swerve.  :)

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It's the opposite for me, I was thinking about quitting (because boring), but the tentacle sex sucked me back in. Never expected to see a scene straight up from hentai on American TV! But then, I watch the show for the crazy. When it becomes more grounded/predictable, it starts to be your usual soap opera. Crazy (and Wendy) is what makes the show for me.

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(edited)

Victor is Ingrid and Freya's father. He was the guy at the start of the episode that was putting those worms into Joanna's arms to clean her blood of whatever was poisoning her.

Lol, oh! I guess I didn't know what his name was. I was seriously referring to him as Joel in my head - like we're friends. Thanks!

Edited by rachel is awesome
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