thirtysomething - General Discussion

[ctlady]

I searched all through the Other Drama and was certain I would find this late 80s/early 90s yuppie drama listed, especially with all the references the This Is Us and A Million Little Things forum threads are making to it.  Any fans want to reminisce about Michael & Hope, Elliot & Nancy, Melissa, Gary & Ellen?  I've been rewatching on YouTube.  I especially love all the drama at Michael's firm (DAA) with that magnificent bastard, Miles Drentell. 

What are your favorite, not so favorite episodes, moments, characters?  What do you think about all the comparisons to TIU and AMLT?

[One Imaginary Girl]

Yay, a Thirtysomething thread!  Thanks for starting one.  And I didn't know it could be watched on Youtube--see you in a few weeks.  Can't really binge, but I do wish D.J. Nash and the writers of A Million Little Things would use the long break to do so, to see and take notes on a show about the real little things that affect us, not always huge, dramatic problems or soapy situations like secret children.

Back in the day I broke down the characters like so, not in any particular order:

Liked  Melissa (well, she was my favorite), Michael, Nancy

Hated Gary, Ellyn, Hope

Mixed emotions Elliot, Susannah

Favorite episode: "Melissa and Men."  I cried, but then that moment when Lee shows up... 

[Broderbits]

So glad I bought the dvd's when they first appeared! This show always holds my interest no matter how many times I rewatch.

I also liked Melissa, at least until Gary died and she spent a whole episode locked away in a room sobbing like she was his widow. It was just too much. And never could stand Ellyn, especially when she was upset with Hope for daring to have a baby and a life away from work.

[purist]

5 hours ago, Broderbits said:

And never could stand Ellyn, especially when she was upset with Hope for daring to have a baby and a life away from work.

Oh my - I loved Ellyn for that very reason! She spoke words that absolutely resonated with me at that time in my life. All my friends were having babies and (seemingly) drifting away, and I desperately resented them for it. Not very mature of me, but it's how I felt.

Melissa was always my favourite, but Ellyn was a close second.

[HC87]

Hard to believe this show itself is now about 30 years old....sixtysomething anyone?

This came out just about end of college, post-college for me so it somewhat resonated even though they were about a decade or so older. 

Kind of sad, as I always pictured my then gf (now deceased) as Hope and myself as Michael someday when we watched this together.

Will have to check it out again on youtube...thanks for the tip.

[purist]

Do you all know about the thirtysomething podcast and book that Scotty Ryan produced last year for the 30th anniversary? The podcast is fascinating, although the audio is not the best quality.

[blondiec0332]

8 hours ago, purist said:

Do you all know about the thirtysomething podcast and book that Scotty Ryan produced last year for the 30th anniversary? The podcast is fascinating, although the audio is not the best quality.

How did I not know about this book? Just reserved it at the library.  Loved this show. Rewatched it on DVD about 10 years ago. 

I still remember watching the episode with Michael and Hope at the hospital waiting to hear word about Nancy and Michael takes a phone call and afterwards  tells Hope Gary is dead.  It was truly shocking.  

Edited December 4, 2019 by blondiec0332

[ctlady]

On ‎11‎/‎26‎/‎2019 at 10:58 AM, One Imaginary Girl said:

And I didn't know it could be watched on Youtube--see you in a few weeks. 

Search for the channel Larry Massey on YT - he has just about all of them

My favorite episodes were after Miles was introduced and all the drama at DAA, especially the Michael's Campaign episode where he stands his ground with the creative director and Pulling Away where it all changed for him afterwards. 

In both of them - I absolutely could not STAND Elliot.  Just about all of Elliot's scenes at work, especially with Michael, were awful.  He acted like such a petulant, whiny child when he didn't get his way then went all passive aggressive on Michael when he had to make decisions Elliot didn't agree with.  Elliot proved just how much he bit off more than he could chew in the episode where he all but beat Michael down into agreeing to let him direct the Philadelphia commercial.  It was hard to watch Elliot get owned by the star of the commercial, but he got in too far over his head.  He just wasn't ready.

Hope - was on the fence with her.  She came across self-righteous most times, but I found new appreciation for her when she called out Susannah - who was much too snarky and condescending for my taste.   The episode I'm Nobody, Who Are You - most of her dialogue with Gary was him trying to talk to her about what he's going through while she's ignoring him and mumbling about grocery lists, daycare, getting the heat fixed and tiny lightbulbs for the fridge.  When Hope tried to help when Susannah was having trouble with Emma's croup, Susannah was too proud to take help (or in this case, a humidifier).  When Hope called her out when Susannah went to return the humidifier, it was a fist pump moment!

I generally liked Ellen, except when she had her affair with Jeffrey.  Sorry, but any woman who goes after a married man - no matter how much they say their marriage is over - is not okay in my book.

The end of S3 where the takeover of DAA started and well into S4 was really great.  I loved the work stuff

[Bastet]

I watched this show when it was on, but barely remember anything from it. Michael learning of Gary's death is seared into my brain, and I remember everyone talking about it the next day; it was a true water cooler moment.  I remember throwing the remote in disgust when they pulled out the tired trope of woman wanting abortion changes her mind at the last minute with Susannah.  And I remember two great quotes from Ellyn:

"You know, I lie sometimes when people ask me if I have any plans for the evening, because if I tell them that I just want to hang out at home, there will be this long silence and then they'll say, 'Oh ... well, why don't you join us?'  Because I don't want to!  I want to be alone!"

and

"People bump into you on the street, the first thing they say to you is, 'Are you in love?  Are you seeing someone?'  Nobody asks me about my job.  Or my cat."

But other than that it's just vague notions of who I liked and didn't.  I know I liked Ellyn and Susannah, and I'm pretty sure I liked Nancy, Gary, and Melissa.  Hope and Michael I think I went back and forth on, and I know Elliott drove me bonkers.

In my office closet is a bag with the entire series on VHS, that I picked up via Freecycle many moons ago.  One of these years, I will finally get around to watching it again; maybe this thread popping up will motivate me.

[WI GIRL56]

I loved this show.  I was 30 something at the time.  I was envious of Hope and Michael's house.  Ellyn was a pain but I loved her voice.  Melissa was great.  I have some of it on DVD and need to watch it again.  

[non sequitur]

Ellyn was my favourite character, even though she was selfish.  I didn't like Melissa.

The conflicts between Elliot and Michael were so tense and real.

[Kelly]

I loved this show!  
I could not STAND Melissa!  My favorite character was Nancy.  
 
I have a couple of seasons on VHS tapes...but I’d have to go back in time (ie go to my mother’s house lol) to watch them - we no longer have a VHS player.

Last time I looked, you could watch some (all?) episodes via Amazon.  I need to check again...I’m in the mood to watch!

[One Imaginary Girl]

It's coming back! https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/live-feed/thirtysomething-sequel-original-cast-gets-abc-pilot-pickup-1268058

[purist]

2 hours ago, One Imaginary Girl said:

It's coming back!

ERMAHGERD. I have mixed feelings about this, but with the original cast and creators involved, it could be good.

I did wonder if it might be called sixtysomething ... but I guess focusing on the offspring of the original characters rather than senior citizens is going to get more viewers. 😁

[methodwriter85]

I hope they do a better job of writing actual contemporary 30-somethings as opposed to back in 2008 when they did a show called Quarterlife that tried to show being 25 but kind of just didn't get the generation they were showing like at all.

I'm guessing that Roxie Olin is probably going to play Hope and Michael's daughter. She's the right age.

Edited to add: Or maybe not. She hasn't been active in 3 years. She might have moved on to other stuff.

Ambyr Childers? I like her after her turn on You.

Edited January 9, 2020 by methodwriter85

[Andyourlittledog2]

I was a few years younger than this crew when it aired but understood the introspective ambivilance of a group of people from a generation who couldn't envision being over thirty actually being thirtysomething and grappling with the kinds of things adults eventually grapple with. Like houses, children, career, etc. Life has a way of clamping down on your freedom and you find yourselves more like your parents than you realized. 

What I remember most, other than the above, was house envy (Michael and Hope's house was what I longed for and didn't yet have) and that they named their baby 'Jane'. It was such a weird retro decision. Jane. Who knew I'd long for retro names when people started naming their kids Mykeighlee etc.  Jane sounds wonderful now.

I used to know the twin babies' grandfather (the babies who played Jane) and he was so proud to tell me that they were going to be in a new show in the fall. I watched the show because of the babies and then got sucked in for its entire run. 😁

[Bastet]

On 1/8/2020 at 3:04 PM, purist said:

I did wonder if it might be called sixtysomething ... but I guess focusing on the offspring of the original characters rather than senior citizens is going to get more viewers. 😁

When I saw a headline about the show being revived with the original cast, I was intrigued, but quickly checked myself that the odds of a show about a group of people in their sixties, even one where the characters are pre-known to a segment of the audience, are pretty low.  And, of course, upon reading, it's about the next generation, with the original cast in supporting roles.

Depending on scheduling, I'll check it out for curiosity's sake, and if the difference between one generation's station in life versus the next one's is written in a way that acknowledges the positive and negative causes, and positive and negative effects, of today's thirtysomethings seeming a good deal younger, it could be a good show.

 

[Pallas]

Today's PRIMETIMER feature has more on the new and returning characters. 

[izabella]

9 minutes ago, Pallas said:

Today's PRIMETIMER feature has more on the new and returning characters. 

Oh, I love it!  The kids are grown up and messed up, and they have their parents to blame right there!  The tables have turned, lol, Michael and Hope, Elliott and Nancy!

I am looking forward to this now!  I was in college when thirtysomething was on, so it didn't quite resonate for me then, but I enjoyed the show.

[Pallas]

I'm very amused to see thirysomething-Janey characterized as depressed and with attachment issues. Over the four years that we watched the show, it became a running joke that Hope and MIchael might want to take a moment to notice that their firstborn was mute. Miles quoted scripture more often than Janey said boo. The baby-Janey-twins never did give up their day jobs... 

 

Edited January 30, 2020 by Pallas

[Orlando]

Huge fan of the show  really hope Melissa can sing on.

[luna1122]

Pilot Script Review of Thirtysomething(else)

I'm excited about this. I was a young twenty something when 30 something was first on, but I still loved it. But it sounds like they've split up Michael and Hope, since the articles reference that Leo lives with his mom. Not his mom and dad. Not shocking, but still: boo.

Gary and Susannah had a daughter Emma, too. I think Susannah had moved away from Philly, but Emma could always pop up.

Brittany is bisexual, and she and Janey "are closer than we thought..." Hmm. And I saw they cast Patrick Fugit (LOVE him) as Ethan. Anyway. Kind of excited.

 

[Liamsmom617]

 I'm excited for "sixtysomething" but even more excited that there is finally a forum here for this show! I have all 4 seasons on DVD and they are definitely among my most  prized possessions. When the show started airing, my sister and I were 19 and 14. We loved the show, but mostly to mock the characters and their "yuppie problems". I mean, at our ages, we hadn't been married, had kids, had relationships, or really had issues related to workplace/ profession yet. 

  Cut to 30-plus years later....I can still barely stand to watch the "Therapy" episode w/Elliot and Nancy....wayyy too raw and close to home for me. Almost word for word, that was my (now ex-) husband's and my relationship, except that I wasn't a housewife. But my loss of interest in sex, the resentment of him toward me for that, and mine toward him for not helping more w/the house and kids...ouch. 

   Couple of unpopular opinions: Ellyn was my favorite character, flaws and all, and her storyline w/Jeffrey has top billing for me to this day. Also, back me up here, someone: In the "Arizona" episode when Hope and Michael have that really ugly fight late at night and Michael is being SUCH a dick to Hope and (you can tell), when he knocks the box of pictures off the edge of the armchair and says, "Oh, you...." you just KNOW he wants to say "bitch"?! Oddly, I find Michael almost irresistibly sexy and "hot" in that scene, primarily BECAUSE he is being such a dick, particularly after he accuses Hope of being too much like her mother, and then, after Ruth interrupts them briefly, senses the tension, and departs, Michael gives Hope that totally mocking look and then takes a sip of water!?!?  HOT!! (It doesn't hurt that he looks really buff in that green T-shirt he's wearing in that scene, either...)  I dunno...paging Dr. Freud, I guess...

   It's also interesting to watch as a (now) fifty something w/a different perspective and see how I feel differently toward different characters and their motivations. In my memory from when the show first aired, I had the impression that Elliot just left Nancy w/barely a backward glance and no regrets. When I watch the ep now in which he first leaves, when they are sitting in the car after the conference w/Ethan's teacher, Timothy Busfield's acting KILLS me-- Elliot is clearly torn up and emotional about what he is about to do.

   Same (kinda) w/Ellyn...I remembered her blithely going along w/her attraction to Jeffrey, barely considering the consequences until it was too late. Upon watching now, of course I can see how she tried to fight it at first and that it really was Jeffrey who "insisted" they "do something about it".

   I could go on and on....and probably will when I have more time. THANK YOU to whoever started the "thirtysomething" forum!! 

Edited May 10, 2020 by Liamsmom617

[Liamsmom617]

On 11/27/2019 at 12:05 AM, purist said:

Oh my - I loved Ellyn for that very reason! She spoke words that absolutely resonated with me at that time in my life. All my friends were having babies and (seemingly) drifting away, and I desperately resented them for it. Not very mature of me, but it's how I felt.

Melissa was always my favourite, but Ellyn was a close second.

  YES! They really nailed, w/Ellyn, how it feels when friends/sisters start having babies and you just don't "get" how all-consuming it can be. You feel left out and you kinda resent the baby, as wrong as you know that is. 

   There are tiny details I have noticed as an adult, watching and re-watching certain episodes, such as: In "The Mike Van Dyke Show", when everyone is congregating in the kitchen after Hope is in the car wreck w/Janey, Nancy comes in and Michael assures her that Hope and Janey are gonna be OK. Nancy says, "And Janey was in the car?! Oh..."  and sort of does the "oh my!" gesture.. Ellyn kinda does an eye-roll.  (What's funny is, elsewhere in the same scene, Michael's Mom calls and, after he picks up and says, "Hi, Mom", the actress playing Janey repeats it ("Hi Mom!") and Polly Draper actually grins in an "Awww!" way, which is funny. 

Edited May 10, 2020 by Liamsmom617

[UYI]

30 years ago today. RIP, Gary Shepherd.

This piece of music couldn't have been more perfect for this episode, either. Brilliant.

 

[Pallas]

On 2/12/2021 at 1:16 AM, UYI said:

30 years ago today. RIP, Gary Shepherd.

You're so right about the music; thank you.

I re-watched a year ago, and was amazed at what I'd remembered accurately but re-framed. Nancy saying, "It's good news. It's the best possible news." Word-perfect, but I'd recalled that as the final scene in the episode, followed by Elliot giving her Gary's gift, and Nancy reading the inscription over the image of Gary riding away from Michael and toward us on his bike, in his varsity jacket, on the snowy street. "In a wonderland they lie/Dreaming as the days go by/Dreaming as the summers die...."

Of course, Michael learned of Gary's death while at the hospital with everyone celebrating Nancy's results; Gary had been on his way. Driving. He'd heard the last thing Michael said to him, earlier that afternoon: "Not the bike, Gary...!"

[Pallas]

thirtysomething reunion live-streamed on YouTube tonight, Saturday March 20, at 8 PM ET.

A Stars in the House benefit for The Actors Fund. 

Promo: "The gang is back together again! Ken Olin, Mel Harris, Melanie Mayron, Timothy Busfield, Patricia Wettig, Peter Horton, and Polly Draper will all join the episode to talk about their seminal series that defined a generation."

 

[Quof]

I gave up after 30 minutes; I've watched probably 2/3 of Stars in the House episodes and this was among the worst with the constant interruptions and talking over each other.  

[Liamsmom617]

OK, can anyone help me w/this? There are two songs from the "Happy New Year" episode (Season 4) I am trying to figure out the artist and song titles for: The first is the one where everyone is dancing (right after they moved the furniture to free up dancing space) and Hope comes downstairs and says, "What is this? Dancing? In my house? Whose idea was this!?", and the second is like a slow-jam where Elliot dances with Patsy, Melody's Mom and Peter's friend. I've tried pausing during the end credits, looking on IMDB, etc. all to no avail and really want to try to find those two songs on Spotify or Apple Music, but have no idea who the artist (I think they are both the same artist) or titles are. Anyone? 

[Mondrianyone]

Was one of them "In My Life" by the Beatles? (It's been a long time since I've seen that episode, so I could easily be misremembering.)

[purist]

11 hours ago, Liamsmom617 said:

OK, can anyone help me w/this? There are two songs from the "Happy New Year" episode (Season 4) I am trying to figure out the artist and song titles for

Found this list - does it help?

9 hours ago, Mondrianyone said:

Was one of them "In My Life" by the Beatles?

Looks like it, according the list I linked above. :)

[paramitch]

I just found this forum. Yearrrrrrs later! But still!

I started watching "Thirtysomething" when I was in my junior year of college, and I was just absolutely head-over-heels in love. The writing was so intelligent, the acting was amazing from a beautiful yet believably real cast, the cinematography and music were superb, it was everything I wanted.

I didn't really hate anyone, although Hope was probably my least favorite. She was just always so clenched and passive-aggressive. But I also felt for her and Mel Harris always made her very warm in unexpected moments.

I absolutely adored Ellyn (flaws and all), and would have happily grown up and married Billy (sigh, oh, man). I frequently loved Melissa, but she also irritated me just as frequently because she was so self-destructive (and frequently a bit narcissistic -- I absolutely hated her reaction to Gary's death and was so turned off I had very little empathy for her at all -- she was just so determined to make it all -- about -- her. And it didn't help that I thought Melanie Mayron overacted most of those too). But I absolutely loved Melissa with Lee, and thought they were so effortless and magical together.

But I just adored Nancy, always, one thousand percent. I remember when I started watching the the show I thought she was a bit plain, but then by season 2 or so I realized how gorgeous she was and how I'd been taken in by the Mom-hairstyles and kid-barrettes, etc.

I loved Michael, and I also honestly really loved Elliot most of the time. Could Elliot be an ass? Sure, frequently! But I just thought Timothy Busfield always made him so vulnerable -- you could see his uncertainty and emotion beneath the assholery. I also really loved Elliot's arc across the show -- he really ends the show as a much better, kinder, more confident man than he began.

Unlike most people I know, I really liked Susannah, but partly because I weirdly identified with her -- she always struck me as being outwardly prickly with this soft center, and she seemed so lonely. Then she fell for Gary (and was rightfully worried about that), and not only that, she had an entire wall of friends/family to contend with who basically almost immediately decided they didn't like her on sight. 

I also really enjoyed the rich way the show explored how differently people can behave/be depending on who they're with -- the relationships were so beautifully handled. I cared so much about Michael & Elliot, Michael & Hope, Elliot & Nancy, Ellyn & Woodman (and Ellyn & Billy, and Ellyn & Melissa), Melissa & Lee, Gary & Susannah, Michael & Miles Drentell (such a fantastic character!), etc.

What's interesting to me now -- as a middle-aged woman today -- is that I was such a baby when I watched it -- I mean, I was a film production major and thought Elliot and Michael's lives in advertising were so glamorous. Now they do seem a little desperate, empty, and crass to me, but that's after doing some production, studio, and ad work into my mid to late 20s and realizing how much of your life revolves around just the right phrasing for Rice-a-Roni. Or just the right ad copy for the back of a milk carton or cereal box. Which -- hey, it's work. But I was just so starry-eyed about it at the time. 

The episodes I still remember most that stay with me:

• Hope & Michael's "Gift of the Magi" episode ending with the Christmas tree and "River" on the soundtrack
• The "Rashomon" episode about the night out that was the last straw in Elliot & Nancy's marriage
• Michael & Elliot's company closing (that ending voicemail just killed me)
• The "murder" episode where Gary fell in love with -- and screwed it up with -- Dana Delany (who fit right in -- I felt so sad when she was just a one-off)
• Nancy's incredibly beautiful, heartbreaking cancer diagnosis episode
• Hope's struggle to go back to work 
• Ellyn & Melissa both competing for the gynecologist (still one of the funniest moments ever in the show -- Ellyn in the stirrups, looking up and going, "Bob?")
• Susannah giving birth (taking place in reverse time)
• Susannah and Hope coming to terms 
• Nancy's "Second Look"/Gary's death. I didn't always love Hope, but her reaction to the news was so incredibly real -- Michael tells her, and her knees immediately buckle -- that happened to me, and the memory of it (and of that scene) will always move me.
• Melissa's "fairytale" episode where she fell for Lee
• Nancy's almost-flirtation with the woman in her cancer group who ended up being so toxic
• Ellyn falling for Billy (and Billy almost screwing it up with his former BFF)
• Michael going to the writing class and Nancy doing better (and him sort of creepily writing about Nancy from little intimate things Elliot had told him)

I haven't rewatched the show in decades, but it made a huge impact on me. I also bought the soundtrack and absolutely wore it out for years after.

I loved the show -- I'll be interested to rewatch one of these days, but I'm sort of hesitant. I was too young when I watched it before, and I'm too old now. It's more than a little ironic.

[UYI]

On 8/21/2021 at 12:55 PM, Liamsmom617 said:

OK, can anyone help me w/this? There are two songs from the "Happy New Year" episode (Season 4) I am trying to figure out the artist and song titles for: The first is the one where everyone is dancing (right after they moved the furniture to free up dancing space) and Hope comes downstairs and says, "What is this? Dancing? In my house? Whose idea was this!?", and the second is like a slow-jam where Elliot dances with Patsy, Melody's Mom and Peter's friend. I've tried pausing during the end credits, looking on IMDB, etc. all to no avail and really want to try to find those two songs on Spotify or Apple Music, but have no idea who the artist (I think they are both the same artist) or titles are. Anyone? 

 

On 8/21/2021 at 2:36 PM, Mondrianyone said:

Was one of them "In My Life" by the Beatles? (It's been a long time since I've seen that episode, so I could easily be misremembering.)

 

On 8/22/2021 at 12:00 AM, purist said:

Found this list - does it help?

Looks like it, according the list I linked above. :)

I'm late to answering this, but "In My Life" was played on the piano by Peter, who had briefly gone out with Melissa's friend Russell a year or so before that (they were the gay characters who set off a brief firestorm of controversy by--GASP!--being shown SITTING UP in bed together!--and without even touching each other, either, per an edict from ABC), and he had played "Why Do Fools Fall in Love?" before that. Peter & Russell hadn't seen each other since they stopped dating, so this was the first time they had seen each other since then. 

The original broadcast had both a Rolling Stones song and a Rod Stewart song among the songs playing in the background on Michael & Hope's stereo, but they were changed for the DVD release due to copyright reasons. Those were the two songs I remembered most, so when I got the DVDs and realized those two songs had been changed, it drove me crazy, lol. I'm pretty certain all the other songs in that episode remained intact, though. 

Edited December 23, 2023 by UYI

[purist]

Co-creator Ed Zwick has a memoir coming out next month called Hits, Flops, and Other Illusions: My Fortysomething Years in Hollywood. Should be a good read.