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S02.E35: Love or Con?


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Lacey awaits fiancé John's release; Amber reveals Puppy's secret plan; Tony begs Angela for a second chance; Glorietta shops for a wedding dress; Alex has a sneaky rendezvous; Daniel cons mom.

Airs November 1, 2019.

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1 hour ago, PityFree said:

I’ve really been looking forward to this all week. I know it’s sad.

I know it's sad, I told my daughter we had to get home by 9 so I could watch my show. 😂

Wait a minute, after the big parking lot fight the next scene they show is they are at Lacey's acting calmly. 

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Wait. Shane was staying with Lacey after their big old fight in the parking lot?  Is Shane going with her to pick up John?

I thought he was paroled to HER house?  I must be confused!  No. He's going with her. Perfection.

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Wow Puppy is really putting on the pressure.  Amber is in a bad spot, Puppy wants the scam and Amber just wants to walk away.  Sounds like Puppy is the boss.   Lacey makes me sick.  Duck lipped loser.

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1 minute ago, Armchair Critic said:

Daniel's budget is $120 for a ring 🙄

You can't even order something decent from QVC for that money.   He goes into a jewelry store and says he doesn't want gold???    Go to Target and pick something from their costume jewelry hanging on the rack.

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 Lizzie doesn’t need an engagement ring; she’s going to get pregnant on purpose and get her wedding. It doesn’t matter what Daniel (or Daniel’s mom) wants.  Daniel is going to whip out that tiny little ring and Lizzy is going whip out a positive pregnancy test.

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It still cracks me up that Lacey is whining about how when John proposed he went into this huge speech about why, and what her kids meant to him, and Shane simply asked.  Bitch, you've known Shane a hot minute, has he even met your kids?  What can you really expect?

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1 hour ago, goofygirl said:

NOW the truth comes out about good old Amber & Puppy's grand plan!

You will never convince me that Vince could even convincingly lie about coming with some new medical invention.  

Lies, lies, lies.  Vince always gave her super detailed answers when she was in prison.....then why didn't she know his name?  Why didn't she ask about the medical invention so she could steal it?  

10 minutes ago, Cammi said:

John LEGIT looked like he’d cry when that whore said she wasn’t in love with him. For a split second, his chin twitched. Made my black heart feel sad for the convict 😢

Lacey is a bitch. 

Its hard to tell with her silicone lips, but I swear she grinned when Shane said he wanted to go with her to the prison.  

Edited by RealReality
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1 minute ago, Kangatush said:

It still cracks me up that Lacey is whining about how when John proposed he went into this huge speech about why, and what her kids meant to him, and Shane simply asked.  Bitch, you've known Shane a hot minute, has he even met your kids?  What can you really expect?

Yesssss...it's hilarious that she acted like she was expecting a sonnet worthy of her pure princess graciousness.  Stupid whore. 😠

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20 minutes ago, Armchair Critic said:

Uh Oh. Alex's ex is more attractive and seems brighter than Glorietta.

My gut tells me that Julietta may be transgender.  Just a feeling.  Not sure what to make of it.  

She is still much prettier than glorietta in that silly ass dress. 

41 minutes ago, Armchair Critic said:

Daniel's budget is $120 for a ring 🙄

Call me old fashioned, but when you have to lie to your mommy to get the $120 for your engagement ring ...you may not be ready to wed.  

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I don’t know if Glorietta and Alex are real or not, but if they are, I hope she doesn’t see this episode. That was the look of a man IN LOVE. Alex looked completely besotted with Julianna!  I never saw him look that way at wart nose. His eyes were TWINKLING 💖 Instant chemistry with that old flame. And Juliana was way more attractive in looks and personality. 

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4 minutes ago, RealReality said:

My gut tells me that Julietta may be transgender.  Just a feeling.  Not sure what to make of it.  

She is still much prettier than glorietta in that silly ass dress. 

I highly doubt it, she had hips for days and a pear shape. Very hard to achieve even with hormones. And petite hands. 

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42 minutes ago, LucyEth said:

You can't even order something decent from QVC for that money.   He goes into a jewelry store and says he doesn't want gold???    Go to Target and pick something from their costume jewelry hanging on the rack.

Thank you!  If you want to spend $120...go to a pawn shop.  Also maybe that jeweler could have washed his hands....that was gross. 

He could have gotten something from Etsy for less. 

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So I guess Lacey cheated on John before? Going off what he said “You’re doing this again?” And then hit her with “You’ll do the same to him”. Her eyes got so big at being called out, cuz he knows her well. And she knows it’s the truth. Can’t turn a ho into a housewife. 

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1 minute ago, Cammi said:

So I guess Lacey cheated on John before? Going off what he said “You’re doing this again?” And then hit her with “You’ll do the same to him”. Her eyes got so big at being called out, cuz he knows her well. And she knows it’s the truth. Can’t turn a ho into a housewife. 

When Lacey has fucked up she likes to pick fights and deflect.  

She knew she is wrong in stringing both guys along....when cornered she blamed Shane for not coming up with a power point to explain why he wants to marry her.  When cornered by John, suddenly it's not her fault it's HIS fault because they are fighting.....even though they are fighting because SHE strung him along.  

I doubt this is the first time she has cheated and it wouldn't surprise me if it was a situation where John walked in on something.....or it happened at a party he no was at.  Because Lacey has a pathological need for attention.  

After John found out I'm sure it somehow became his fault that she cheated.  

If John is serious about staying off heroin he is much better off without Lacey in his life.  He isn't a bad looking guy, he doesn't have ridiculous prison tatts.....he could maybe spruce up his teeth and hide that balding spot a little.  BUT he could do a lot better.  

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The Recap and Commentary:

Well, wow.  To quote Shakespeare: “... a poor player / That struts and frets his hour upon the stage / And then is heard no more. It is a tale / Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, / Signifying nothing.” 

Biiiiiiiiig build-up.  Not much real action, aside from some confirmations of some issues long suspected here.

Vince & Amber... and Puppy

Surprise! No, not really.

Amber and Puppy are running game on Vince.  No Academy Awards will be presented to Amber, though there never had been danger of that.  From Episode One of this Season, exactly no one “bought” that Amber felt anything but contempt for the man whose marriage proposal she had accepted.

Amber had scented a promising source of income in Vince, who had piqued her mark-radar.  She admits that Vince’s talk about a revolutionary invention that could produce riches set Amber and Puppy to planning.  During an on-camera conversation with Puppy in jail, it’s revealed that it was Amber’s “job” to reel Vince in and keep him happy, the goal to be for Amber to keep a hold (and drain) on Vince, until Puppy was out of prison and Amber could accrue enough that, with Puppy’s help (in draining Vince of funds), they could provide for herself, Puppy and Puppy’s Mom (sweet of them to think include Kathy 😳🙄).

Puppy “reminds” Amber she needs to stick with the plan, and orders her to at least give Tony a few hummers and keep him happy.  Amber expresses unadulterated revulsion and admits she cannot even bear his company, much less any more.  She even challenges Puppy to take over “that part”, joking that Puppy can be Vince’s “daughter and his wife!”  Amber’s stony Butch-in-Charge act wobbles when confronted by Puppy’s orders: Amber needs to stick to the plan, her desire to run be damned.  Puppy wants to collect.

Meanwhile, Puppy’s mother Kathy appears to have overheard the conversation, or at least Amber’s part of it, from the overhead deck.

The gravelly-voiced Kathy has been more farmore level-headed, clear-sighted and honest than either Amber or her daughter.

Cheryl & Josh

Please, for the love of God and All Things Holy (on All Saints’ Day and la Día de los Muertos, no less) no more close-ups of Cheryl, especially not in HD.  High-definition does her painful, über-anorexic frame and her complexion no favours.  Her lack of any body fat adds years to her face, harshening and coarsening it, and her perpetual hysterics add to an over-all very unflattering look.

She’s yet another LAL-er completely focused on being a bride.  Even as she tries to give the impression that she’s so aware of and sensible about Josh’s situation, his lack of funds, lack of a job, his obligation to make financial restitution for his crime, their need to budget and save... and what all that means, she cannot keep “on message”.  In her very next words, with a force of whiplash, she’s pouting over a “real” ring (one the penniless, jobless Josh buys) and a “proper” proposal (to be followed an extravagant wedding and that ranch with Longhorn cattle...)  When not fluctuating between these two objectives, the hyper-moody Cheryl finds new and interesting things about which to be offended and fight.

Angela & Tony:

Poor Snaggletoothasaurus.  She looks pale, deflated and defeated; puffy, like she both gained and lost weight, as if she put on an “Angela Suit” that doesn’t quite fit.  It even looks as if she’s lost hair, her long blonde locks no longer so abundant.  Even her wayward tooth looks like it protrudes more.

Of course, the Angela Font of Hopeful (and Libidinous) Generosity Tap turned firmly off, Tony is once again all earnest protestations of love and devotion along with regret for his past behaviour.  Angela knows this, going cold turkey, refusing to answer his pile of messages and texts, his repeated (one right after another) calls, finally capitulating to one on-camera, during which she wearily asks “what do you want from me?”  When Tony goes into his pitch of love, Angela simply hangs up.  She admits later to her sister she fears contact, knowing she has a weakness: given any opportunity, she could be sucked back in, she believes she at least part of her “loves” him.

Unsurprisingly, Angela cannot resist answering the phone again - she admits she knows that since Tony somehow has escaped returning to prison, he needs a place to which he can go after he finishes his time at the half-way house.  He’s all conciliation and - predictably - promises of love, commitment, a wedding and marriage.  With the balls of the desperate and gutsy, Vince admits his time at the half-way house is over “in a week” and asks Angela if he can “come home to [her]” as if he had not so recently fled her presence and so obviously rejected her.

Angela wavers... and confesses that she still loves him, but may not be able to forgive him... and zooms off on the motorcycle she’d bought Tony.

But next week’s preview shows Angela has weakened... it’s kisses and hugs and Angela enjoying the “upper hand” that Tony’s defection and then volte-face has provided (and he knows he has to devour a huge plate of sh*t... and crow... the latter in the form of Angela, no doubt) and face the Tribunal of Tommy.

Lizzie & Daniel

OFFS.   Another parolee barely out of prison who’s looking at rings... this one (Daniel) with Mom, and her pocketbook, in tow.  

120 US$ budget for a “promise ring”.  Mom agrees to the 200 US$ price the jeweler offers for a scaled-down version of a popular ring... that of course Daniel is going to double-cross his Mom’s goodwill gesture (as she believes neither the dually-unemployed Daniel nor Lizzie are ready for marriage, though the two have discussed having children in the not-distant future and Lizzie seemed disappointed that she was not pregnant) and present the ring (which Daniel admits Lizzie is unlikely to like because it’s “probably beneath her standards”) as an engagement ring.

This guarantees a flare-up between Lizzie and Teresa, as Lizzie is likely to disdain the tiny ring, even that it was over the budget and footed by another (Teresa).  Naturally, this is likely to doubly offend Teresa, firstly for the focus on material worth (when Lizzie must be aware of Daniel’s utter lack of funds; all of the LAL brides have delusions of the super-hyper-most of bridal ostentation and glamour) and also because it’s a rejection of a conciliatory action of hers (even if Lizzie is not directly told that Teresa fronted the funds for the ring, and even conceded to going over the planned budget).  Teresa will have additional reason to be angry because Daniel has planned for the ring to be an engagement ring all along, deceiving his mother that he’d conceded to her opinion that going slow... not jumping into engagement and marriage so quickly, would be a much wiser course.

Glorietta & Alex... and Julianna

I don’t think anyone needed to start their weekend with Glorietta and Alex in bed reviewing who has earned tats on Alex’s pasty, shaven body.  Dude.  Glorietta proves she can be jealous even of girls in his past, while Alex seems pretty proud of his permanent memorials.

While Glorietta is out picking a wedding dress (mermaid, with a long train and veil, natch) Alex meets up with his ex-girlfriend, Julianna (for whom he converted). 

With Glorietta down the Yellow Brick Road, Alex is on the sneak.  He seeks out his friend Kato to run intermediary for him to set-up a meeting with Julianna.  In his usual convoluted style, Alex explains he was “with” Julianna when he wa locked up, but they “kind of lost touch”.  (Translation: she went to rehab and broke ties.). While he (weakly) explains to Kato he just needs “closure”, Kato reasonably points out that Alex is more likely to get “caught back up” with Julianna, questioning why Alex would even want to go there as he’s engaged to Glorietta.  Kato recognizes “this” isn’t about Alex’s “stilo” (style, ya feel me? 🙄) of not wanting to have left Julianna hanging, but Alex’s desire to see Julianna, Glorietta notwithstanding (though Alex nobly plans to tell Glorietta.  He may want to approach that little item on his to-do list with a taser.  I don’t think Julianna figures in Glorietta’s bedazzled Wedding Book. 😳)

For her part, Julianna appears well-dressed, well-spoken and well-put together, who proudly states she is now clean of drugs and bad influences. There is a feeling though, of waiting for “the other shoe to drop”, as if there is “something more” about this relationship, too, that the viewers have yet to be told. 

Though Alex sits, obviously still very much smitten, clutching and caressing her hand, Julianna is content to catch up without romanticizing the past, even as she revels in her accomplishments (getting clean, staying clean, staying away from bad influences) and enjoys Alex’s praise and that he’s impressed. 

She’s surprised when he admits he’s engaged, and expresses doubts that he could love this (other) girl considering what she knows about him and his pattern.  She also lets him know she “does not date unavailable men.”

Without sounding arrogant, she later tells the camera she’s neither a “runner-up [nor a] home wrecker” and it’s up to Alex to figure out his own life.  She thinks he has a fear of being alone, and even told Alex earlier that [his relationship with Glorietta] began with his scamming for support, which he uncomfortably admits, though he scrambles to assert that it became more serious (and, presumably, sincere).  He then plaintively asks her what should he do?  Wisely, she lobs that hand grenade, and its responsibility for his life decisions, right back into his lap.

One does wonder why someone that ostensibly “together” would even entertain Alex.

Meanwhile, Glorietta has gone to Bling Heaven, making her own LAL Pilgrimage to a bridal shop.  While Julianna has the sense to see the Reality of Alex, Glorietta, in her nasally-falsetto proclaims they are “soulmates” and that love conquers all.

Lacey & John... and Shane

For all of Lacey’s perpetual teenagerish melodrama, John’s release is anticlimactic.  Now it’s John’s turn to be compared to Shane (specifically, Lacey’s feelings upon their release; never forget it’s always all about Lacey) and fall short.  On her way to pick up John from prison, Lacey states her reason for doing so is because she’s “a woman of [her] word”.  (WTF!)  She keeps the promise to pick up his sorry a** from prison, but that fidelity thing... that’s just too hard (so to speak).

Confronted with John’s objections, Lacey uses every trite evasion, in her nasally whine, such as she always love John, but she’s not in love with John.  Yeah, because that bit of semantic gymnastics always makes it okay when you’re shafting someone.

The episode ends with Shane, amped up to make a dramatic play “for the woman he loves” apparently crashing the fizzled-out ending of the Saga of Lacey & John.  After John protested that Lacey could have been honest earlier, that he didn’t believe Lacey’s version of events and she’d treat Shane the same [as him], John removes his mic pack as Lacey dramatically announces she’s pitching his engagement ring (she pockets it; truly, this girl is stuck solidly in the Teenaged Drama Queen Playbook). John announces he’s changing his place of parole to his parents’ home... and then Shane appears.

Edited by Unsinn
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Is Shane going with her to pick up John?

I thought he was paroled to HER house?  I must be confused!  No. He's going with her. Perfection.

Oh, Shane. Many disastrous outcomes have unfolded right before declaring “I ain’t no punk ass bitch.” 😑

Lacey is grotesque. 

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