Lantern7

Neil Gaiman: You guys think Garth Ennis is a weirdo about religion? I can be the same, I've won more awards, and I've been on The Simpsons! Vikings: Dark humor! Lots and lots of blood and dark humor!! Shadow: This is the most fucked-up three days of my life! Only Major Lady In The First Episode: Wanna see me vacuum a dude in a way you can only get away with on pay cable? Mr. Wednesday: Oh, my me, I would love to, but I have to be mysterious and shit. And damn, that's fucked up. Even worse than the woman vaporizing dudes after sex on Torchwood. And that's what I got tonight. I will tune in, and imagine my surprise when I learned that I had Starz, and not Netflix like I had assumed this would come out on. Not like I had a void after Westworld, but I liked The Sandman (I know, I'm basic), and I'm interested to see what happens in Neil's head.

This week: Jack goes on a mystical quest to obtain his sword and lose his negativity. Meanwhile, Ashi kills the hell out of an endless horde intent on killing Jack, and she tops that off by slaying her adopted mother. In the end, Jack gets his sword back from his patron gods, and he receives a shave and haircut as a bonus. Man, was the original series as dark as seeing Jack murder three little ram guys that got mutated by Aku?

Heard about Thor on the radio. Second-worst news I've heard about the team after departing from a comic book convention. First was searching XM on the final day of the season in 2008, having a rueful laugh at the Mets blowing a playoff shot again . . . and during the final game at Shea Stadium, no less. I heard Rendone (sic?) got 9 RBI. Is that a record against the Mets? Only other player I can think of is Tuffy Rhodes.

I think Beth suckered found somebody else. I mean, she's probably a decent mom, but I wouldn't lie to her kids about how much I hated her. Which was a lot. Dominic looks good, right? I mean, he strikes me as a hard-living sort, but he wasn't foolhardy to pop up on the Challenges.

Obvious question: could a big bus be considered a weapon? Okay episode. Ram should be hundreds of miles (or kilometers) away from that school by now. I know, this is the Fellowship Of The Breakfast and all, but how much shit can one guy personally take? His girlfriend wa murdered in front of him, he lost a leg, got a new one, his coach turned out to be a receptacle for a dragon entity . . . and then his town is taken over by a weird alien that gets off on closure. Only one that had it tougher tonight was Tanya. Poor girl.

The Master knocked four times. Maybe Missy snipped one off? Or maybe she's starting her theme music, but the record keeps skipping. "Oh, Missy! Oh, Missy!" interesting premise . . . misunderstood beast exploited by an asshole who is a mere human. And urchins are involved. Also: alien fish poop. "No sh-!!" "Wait, why weren't there huge headlines from 1814?" "Buffy rules." "Gotcha."

I like Shippuden. I'd say that giant robots don't do it for me, but I grew up on Transformers. Maybe it's the melodrama that causes me to fade. Then again, even with the buttload of characters, I didn't have that problem with Iron-Blooded Orphans.

I like nicknames. I am guilty of having gone too hard on those back on TWoP. In S16, I kept insisting that Joel was "Mongo." I also support going with proper names to piss those people off . . . like "Ben," "Benjamin" or "Benji." ETA: Once again: "Tracey and Tracey's Protruding Nipples." I mean, she's probably a nice person with lots to offer, but holy crap those thngs drew my attention.

I posted on CT at the Challengers thread. I can't see him being a sociopath. Insert obvious joke about Abram here. I felt bad that the format only allowed two Champions in the finale. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, and Darrell had been off the map since Fresh Meat II, while CT last competed in BOTE2. Maybe if Johnny took a break of a few seasons, we might miss him.

From the episode thread: I acknowledge that CT was a butthead -- at best -- through a lot of his BMP career. And you can only blame so much of his outburst in Duel II on his brother's murder. The thing is that he seemed to want to be better from Cutthroat forward, and not just for the cameras. Even without his relationship with Diem (once again: he played Puddy to her Elaine; they probably wouldn't have worked out that well had she been healthy), I think he's done a good job at image rehabilitation. I don't think that getting older makes somebody better. I still think that Abram kills drifters, and my first reaction to recently finding out Beth had kids was outright horror. And nobody else has upgraded themselves from the position of "scumbag." Granted, CT started from the very bottom, but he has grown on me. Meanwhile, Johnny still plays as a reality show Van Wilder, Wes still holds himself higher than most people, Camila can still go from zero to psycho in an eyeblink, and so on. Even without Diem and Chris Jr. (aka "Lil Fatso"), I honestly believe CT is a good person. And I fear that there's always the chance that he could destroy that within seconds. But I don't think that would happen. Hopefully.

Mets are freefalling, guys are getting hurt again, they're heading to Washington . . . maybe Terry should look into live sacrifices once again. Chickens first, then Jose Reyes.

The structure of U-Turns this season is bugging me. I posted "rules" for that on Facebook, and I'd like to share. 1. The U-Turn (henceforth known as "UT") shall be regarded as a necessary evil by viewers. Without it, CBS would have one more reason to dump the series and double down on Big Brother and/or Undercover Boss. 2. The UT shall be positioned after the Detour, not before. Roadblocks would also work; I'm surprised the producers haven't thought of that. 3. Once a team performs a UT, that team is forbidden to do that for the remainder of the season. Violations shall be met with penalties. 3a. I would allow leeway on Blind UT, since nobody is supposed to know who performs it. Wink, wink. 3b. I don't think the potential loophole for teams with an Express Pass should be closed. 4. In a Double UT, the team that performs the first UT cannot be "Turned" by another team in order to block other teams. 4a. Once again, I'm willing to make things less strict on a Blind UT. 5. Once a team has been Turned, they must perform the other Detour task. Once they return to the Route Marker, they can commit a UT if the option is still open.

The U-Turn left a bad taste in my mouth, even though Ashton probably earned it with her mouth. Something like that should be earned. Once again: Detour/U-Turn/Route Marker. I am okay with the concept of U-Turns and other impediments. If CBS has one less reason to pull the plug, I'm good with it. ETA: And you can't perform two U-Turns! You do it, you can't perform it for the rest of the season. This bugs me. Is this what critics of Dave & Conner felt like during TAR24? Because I liked those guys. Has anybody here ever eaten on ground transit like that? I don't mean on a plane or munching something from a bag on the bus or train. I mean getting a decent meal while seeing the sights.

That was not pleasant. I mean, I don't identify that much with Venck, and Ashton might as well wear a "Please Impede Me!" t-shirt. But I can't sign off on the dogpiling. And the new U-Turn rules are a lot more shitty. Venck & Ashton deserved better. On the bright side, the ugliness over the lost passport is getting a lot more distant, and Becca & Floyd are officially fun to watch again. Especially when Becca admired their photo. They are a cute team. Well, at least when Becca isn't contemplating shoving the Fun Meter down Floyd's throat. Also good that Liz & Michael can make things work. And then there's Brooke. Had she woken up to find herself floating in the river donned in a lifejacket, would anybody have blamed Scott? While I'm thinking about it . . . anybody else disappointed that John Cochran didn't pop in to give advice?

Tried watching the last two episodes on DVR. Fell asleep on both of them. It might be an issue about me, but I'm just not into this anime, even if Batou and Franky pop up.

Panda Memes. This is mostly so I can show my mother later. Speaking of stuff she likes, she's happy that Paddington is feeling better. She loved this post especially. Once again: he's so dang mellow, I'm a bit envious.

I got a flashback from last season. "Why would you rent a mule?!? You lease the surly bastard!"

Has it always been the case that the first vote Probst reads off is always safe? I know that he has to arrange the ballots for drama, but doesn't the first vote counted mean that the person is safe? I remembered back in S2 when I was reading Joanna's recaps on Mighty Big TV, and she knew Elisabeth wouldn't get voted off the night Jerri got her torch snuffed.

New Reunion Prediction: Probst gives Cochran grief for not "inspiring" Debbie far into the game. Cochran shrugs like the schmuck he needs to sell himself as these days. Also, I'm hoping Debbie calls him "Mr. Cochran" again.

I'm holding out hope that her struggle tonight becomes part of her Reunion Hero Montage. Hated seeing her struggle. I mean, whose idea was it to let her swim anchor? I hate being reminded of the lady that almost got voted off in her first two Tribal Councils on Exile Island.

That might be the case.

In case you never saw the episode of Dogs 101 with the spotlight on Guido and his two dads, Animal Planet will run that tomorrow morning at 8 a.m.

Here's something amusing . . . Mike wants to play Booster Gold. Dunno if he can be dopey enough for that role. Maybe he got envious of Jamie Chung getting into several episodes of Gotham. Would it be too much to ask that Coral voice Skeets? ETA from MTV.com: Beth & Jon revisit the RW2 house. Also: Beth friggin' reproduced!!!! I feel bad for her kids, because longtime fans will never forget which a rhymes-with-witch she was. However, I can be fair. Here's the notable BMP parent structure in my head now: Darrell > CT > Beth > Tony > Puck.

Man, in any reality, the Tunts are a mess. Nice to have Eugene Mirman back as Cecil (I'm assuming), even as he demands Charlotte's finger as proof. Nice to see Cyril being the butt of the show's jokes. Well, at least until Archer and Pam Poovey stripped him. Those were horrified looks in the car. I'm surprised Poovey could wolf a hot dog down afterward. "Action!" Good to see Krieger fucking people over. Also funny: Archer-style dialogue in German. "Meow?"

Did anybody come off well this week? Maybe Diggle, because he had the higher ground. And Curtis did install fear in a few mooks with his T-Spheres. But then he had to talk. Did Dinah screw up at any point? I feel for Rene, but I still consider him to be the show's buttmonkey. Really hoping Quentin doesn't unofficially adopt him because he'd want a grandkid. Laurel's gone, and if Sara had a kid, it might have died before Quentin was born. Seriously, this episode was a bit of a clusterfuck. I imagine Chase in full Prometheus gear, wondering why he even bothers to destroy Oliver when his friends are doing a swell job. ETA: From the AVClub review: "I never, ever, ever want Quentin Lance to die. Ever. But if he does, I demand his eulogy begin with, 'Quentin Lance, or Hoss as he liked to be called...'" That made me laugh harder than I should have.