Lantern7

Did not have a good day. Then I had two hours of Brooke whining, Scott not exhibiting the saintly patience of Zach, and a grueling leg that demanded a lot from the Racers. Oh, and the one really likeable guy almost dies. I know, Mark came closer, but damn. Oh, and we got flashbacks featuring the goddamn hippies and Flo. Arrrrrrrrrgh. Great that we'll have another season someday, because this season would be downright painful to go out on. And Floyd couldn't bike back the first time to pick up the baskets? I'm thinking if Elise & Bert had to do the leg over, Racers would've been allowed to drop the baskets off. I mean, Floyd shouldn't tried to help London, but he shouldn't have done an additional lap. I'll give him credit for trying, and I give Becca credit for supporting him even as she was getting mad on the sidelines. They were not the perfect team, but they managed to gel together for he most part, and they will be missed. Aside from maybe The Boys, I don't think anybody came off well. LoLo continues to exist against all odds. Tara & Joey start showing cracks, as well as Joey's accent. And why, why, WHY couldn't Phil eliminate Brooke & Scott? She's horrible, and he's a pain in the butt. I mean, he's way better than her, but his stock dropped a lot tonight. ETA: Big-ups to Scott for the bungee, though watching the staff beckon him was funny, because he actually did it.

Heads up: CN/AS will run a Samurai Jack marathon on the Saturday before Memorial Day.

Two more things before I go to bed: 1. Did Diggle have to jump the ramp? Or did Talia's swordsmanship leave him no choice? 2. Actually, forget about the Siren/Canary clash. How about Felicity knocking Laurel-2 out in one punch again? And maybe her hand wouldn't hurt this time.

I kept hoping that her misplay was part of a larger game, where she knew about the restrictions of the advantage and wanted to play dumb for Sarah's benefit. I don't think that was the case. On the bright side, she did manage to make a showing at the second Immunity Challenge. Sucks that Probst yelled at her to jump down. Shut up, Probst. Seriously. With Sandra gone, Cirie is the closest thing to a queen we have here, and you will respect her, dammit.

I didn't hate Bob. I'd like to think he's the guy Ozzy Osborne was singing about . . . "Mr. Crowley." And I honestly don't think Randy was a racist. To qualify, you'd have to dislike people from a specific race. In my head, Randy hated everybody. I don't think he measures up to the likes of Cumbie and Rocker. Now . . . Crystal? The epitome of sucking. She didn't even win her gold medal in the right manner, and three others got stripped of theirs because of her.

New trailer and a release date for The Fractured But Whole:

Big question: would "Dreamland" last past next week? Would it mutate into something different as Archer continues to sink into the coma? Or do we go back to the status quo? I'm up for whatever, because I believe in Adam Reed. Is anybody not getting crossed up in some fashion? Aside from the hookers Poovey is keeping in his/her place? And awesome that nobody could shoot Dutch, especially when his head and torso are vulnerable. Can't really blame Archer for trying to finish the job.

Damn. Barry is getting put through the wringer on his show, yet Oliver still has him beat in manpain. And on his birthday to boot. Can't blame Ollie for his moves. It just so happens that he's on a CW show at a point where the protagonist always gets his teeth kicked in. Luckily, Malcolm is back from his epic failure with the Legion of Doom. And Nyssa is back to generally be awesome. And Slade on top of all that? Dang. Evelyn is totally getting killed next week, right? Also, why didn't anybody sit Quentin down and tell him about Laurel-2? "She looks like your daughter, she sounds like her, she even sucks as hard as her . . . but it ain't her." Here's hoping Dinah knocks her on her ass.

More whispering. That is getting old. Also, you know what I'm expecting if that trend continues? "I don't have any secrets for you. I needed an excuse to put my tongue in your ear." I was hoping Cirie had a master plan in motion. I don't know what her overall goal was, but I was rooting for something along the lines of S16. But she didn't read the fine print on the advantage. Unless she did read it, and it was a move to blindside Aubrey, and . . . I can't think about it too hard. At least Cirie is trying to thinking hard. Tai, you got two idols. Use one! You don't want to be a 24-karat dumbass like James, do you? But he slips through the cracks again. Can that be considered a talent? Mchaela isn't bad, but she's a hothead. Surprised she didn't flip off everybody while leaving. By the way, if there was to be a fight at Tribal, the fire is right there. Just saying. Aubrey likes Cochran? Shit, why couldn't she be exiled? That might have been awesome to watch.

This just in: remember Rachel? Ol' Butterface? Perhaps one of the most feared and overrated Challengers ever? She's having twins. Not as scary as Beth being a mom, but dang. I wonder if the offspring will wind up playing with Darrell's kids.

So wha happens after Inhumans? Agents of S.W.O.R.D.? I mean, Phil has pissed off everybody on Earth in the past four years. Why not take his act to outer space? Nice for everything got tied up, even with all the ramifications. Aida proved herself an able villain, but she never figured LMDs would be used against us. Also, an extradimensional demon that took Coulson's body for a ride. Whatever works. Talbot is in a coma? I call bullshit. His skull is so thick, a bullet would just make him crankier. And wouldn't it occur to everybody that the real Daisy probably wouldn't have used a gun? And hey! Ward didn't make the leap! Bret Dalton will probably come back. If The Flash can shuffle versions of Harrison Wells, we'll probably get stuck with Ward.

Note to BMP: It is super obvious that you're filming Victor out of sequence when he's doing commentary. Damn it, Veronica. You come out of retirement, and you couldn't pants Smashley. How funny would it have been to see a newly-minted champion lose off the bat? Seriously, screw her. Also, I can't see Veronica harnessed without inserting Julie tugging at her line. Holy fuckin' asscrackers. Wes vs. Johnny?!? That has never happened before!!! Can the coyote catch the roadrunner in a direct confrontation? Probably not, because the universe hates Wes E. Coyote. Am I bad for seeing Johnny playing for the Special Olympics and immediately thinking of his cousin?

Huckster got Iris killed. I can buy that. Stupid, stupid, STUPID Huckster. Even if that was Good Barry, Savitar would have "remembered" where Iris was stashed. I'm guessing the death doesn't stick, but it was stil jarring and heart-breaking. On the bright side: Wentworth Miller. I'm a bit sad that he didn't meet Frost. "Lemme guess this right . . . you missed me so much, you gave one of your friends my skill set. And it was the girl. Flash, Flash, Flash . . . if you wanted to ask me out, you just could have asked. I mean, I'd refuse because I promised myself to Mick, but still . . ."

Just caught Sunday's episode. Basically, Deezy is a sad man, Neil deGrasse Tyson is Mike's brother, and he was the reason Mike got knocked out by Buster Douglas in 1991. Par for the course, really. I would've bet Deezy's cat would get killed.

Funny115: Jeff Kent vs. Dawson. Completely forgot about her. Also, I still consider Barry Bonds to be a far larger asshole than Jeff. Had he busted on that swollen noggin like a pinata, I would not have held him back.

Looked up Futon Critic. Found Comedy Central's announcement for summer programming. And guess what we'll get getting a little earlier than usual?

Last season: "Shit! Myriad is in effect, and the populace is under Kryptionian mind control!" "Hey, it's cool. We won't need Supergirl! Here comes the big guy!!!" "Aaaaaaaaaaand he's grounded and under mental control." "Dang. And how come we couldn't see his face? Like he was a CGI character that hadn't been casted yet."

Why can't we have Cat full time? Right . . . dramatic effect. And she figured out that James was Guardian from his eyes. Kara didn't even think of that. Am I nuts for thinking Lena was kinda hot in Space Princess garb? I mean, Rhea is still a bitch, and she doesn't read forums like this, so it doesn't occur to her that Lena might be into Kara. Perhaps even more than Mon. I hate to think how Bhutan will deal with the tourists. And the thinly-veiled political messages were a little too much for me. Plus side: President Olivia is a Durlan! We can call her President Chameleon! The downside with that is that this show would get the Legion of Superheroes, and they would be more awesome meeting the "Legends."

I let this show go pretty darn far. Now . . . the bit with the Tetch virus system placed on a table with a countdown timer on top? Come on, Gotham. Come on. Right now, I have Supergirl on pause with Teri Hatcher in full-on space queen attire, and I'm thinking that won't be as wild as Gotham. More hating of Jim, Barnes going double bugfuck with cheese, the return of Dr. (Hugo) Strange, Ivy's attempts to heal her friend, Selina waking up to go Kill Bill om the Doppelbruce . . . and the Oswald/Ed reunion. Man, I hope the other networks don't schedule anything interesting on Thursday nights.

Almost forgot . . . do you think Mado pays royalties to Renji? Because that quinque is totally Zabimaru.

Spaghetti. On pizza. Why didn't John bring in Jon Stewart to rank on the prime minister of New Zealand for ten solid minutes? I thought pizza and politicans was the perfect J-Stew lure. The cutaway to other disgusting pizzas was nice. "A pizza topped with 27 DVDs of 8 Mile . . . because fuck you." I never go to Taco Bell. I'm not into cheese unless it's mozzarella on a pizza. ETA: I'm okay with the concept pineapple on pizza. But pineapple with spaghetti? Who the hell eats that?!? "Pregnant women" is the only thing that comes to mind. Wouldn't the Geneva Convention outlaw that?

Is this the first we see of the Seer? I forgot if he popped up earlier in the series. Nice to see Vegeta get a workout from menial chores. That came in handy for Goku back in the day. Well, except for the parts where Master Roshii tried to get Goku and Krillin to put Launch into sexy situations. And then she'd sneeze. Anyway . . . getting the Saiyans to have their body parts move without them thinking about it? That's begging for disaster. Who would need Beerus and his fat relative (Beerfield?) when you have those two?

I'm hoping the producers won't have to go into hiding for that cutaway scene. Or Neil Gaiman. I'm doubly concerned for him, because the "Grim Reaper" wasn't a perky goth girl with an ankh. We're probably never gonna get an adaptation of The Sandman on a screen, and that's probably for the best. Hey, at least we didn't have Bilquis Hoovering people this week. On the down side, Shadow is still getting mentally screwed.

Nobody? Dang. Well, at least Lance Pekus got a win, but Team Grit wound up coming up short. Also, he lost to a substitute for the older Wilczewski brother, who got hurt in the first round. The Lab Rats advanced to the relay, but were narrowly defeated by Daniel Gil and his Iron Grip. His mentor Sam Sahn wasn't there, and I'm betting he kept declining offers to form a team with Jon Stewart. I think we had the first two-point race between women, as well as separate genders racing each other in the first two legs of the relay.

Knowing John Sterling, he'd yell that if it were a c-section.