Lantern7

I think this is the note Cirie should go out on. She wound up bowing out in the finale episodes of three seasons (she lost the cliffhanger tiebreaker in Exile Island), and she was booted in perhaps the most bizarre/dumbass way a person can go without being Bobby Jon. I think she can contend with Ozzy as the best four-timer in series history, even though she never made it to the end. I know she rubbed some people the wrong way, and Probst tends to back people we can't stand, but I think she's a class act. Period. I would be open to her dropping by in a future season. Perhaps upon a floating couch.

If you want to read a book about people who shot themselves in the foot, give So You've Been Publicly Shamed by Jon Ronson a look. If he did a new version, he could devote a chapter on Varner, who aimed a rocket launcher at his foot and pulled the trigger. I don't hate you, Varner, but it's shit like that which makes me sigh in exasperation. You didn't get booed, nobody threw shit at you. Why didn't you take that victory?!?

Dang. I think Archer might have earned its second Emmy. I have a few quibbles, the main one being Poovey killing Lana. Wouldn't Cyril have been a better fit? I mean, shooting the wrong people is his M.O., at least in the world we're used to seeing. Why didn't the dogs eat the cat? Not like he/she would be aware, what with the constant bathing and all. Cecil & Trinette probably wouldn't work in regular continuity. Whatever happened to her? I only found out recently that she's voiced by the actress that played Janice on Friends. At least Woodhouse got a little love from Sterling somewhere. Better tribute than everybody's most-harried valet getting the vinyl figure treatment. Mr. Zerk: first initial "B"? "Auflösung" = "Resolution." I was curious.

Sorry I'm late. Survivor took priority. Spoiler: No literal explosion there. Damn. I mean, I know most of the players will come out alive. "Mr. Queen? It's the Flash. The new one. Something happened with Bar- . . . I'm getting off-topic. I got most of the people to safety, except for the Australian guy. Yes, I know Jai Courtney was the better Digger. Oh, and there's a female skeleton in a cage, and- . . . dude, are you laughing?!?" Once again: I don't hate William. That said, I don't need My Father The Hero in September. Bury him and Samantha, and let us never think of them again. Felicity coldcocking Siren was funnier than Quentin blindsiding her, but that was still a sweet moment. I would've stuck Oliver on the Island, and have flashbacks based on the second half of Oliver's adventures in S6. Also sucky to lose Dolph. When you need a hulking Russian stereotype, he's you're guy.

Varner is writing a book. Oooof. He was so close to not looking like a complete dick. Ignored: Ciera, JT, Debbie, and three people I can't remember.

"It's BvBvB HvHvH!!!! We're reinventing the wheel again!" *sigh* Mike is gonna break my heart. I know it.

Probst is whipping through everybody, like he'd lose loved ones based on how many players he skips. ETA: Eight people ignored, seven discounting Tony. No shaming of Debbie for not going far after her meeting with Cochran?

Hey, the Big C is in the house!!! OMG, somebody remembered Sandra played!

Wow. No boos for Varner. I would have lost money on that. Aside from throwing shade on his old employer, he did good. ETA: "Next . . . we're makin' a Cochran sandwich, and Debbie and Aubry are the bread!!!"

What side will Varner be served with? Poor bastard.

I friggin' KNEW that was the tiebreaker!!! However, I figured each finalist cast their vote behind the scenes, just in case. Probst mentioned four people, not counting Tony. Would he count? ETA: I am NOT looking forward to the next 6-10 minutes.

Goodness can't be literally rubbed on you, Brad.

And the crowd goes wild. And the bulk of the online community goes meh. Congratulations, Sarah. I guess somebody had to win. We got 45 minutes of Reunion. Who will Probst skip?

Brad's mustache: slightly better than Jordan on The Challenge.

Brad is a good guy. Stockholm Syndrome much, Debbie?

Now I'm thinking Probst and Debbie would give each other concussions diving for Brad's jock. Very disappointed in her.

How many prostitutes have played the game? I lost count. Did Tai get subtitles on Day 39 in S32? Still annoying to see.

Ozzy averaged 32 days per season. Not too shabby. What is Probst doing? I just want an end. Don't fuck with the formula. S21 was worse. Three dipshits, and the biggest dipshit won because of two quitting quitters who quit.

Awwwww . . . Troy thinks he has a chance. And I thought Tarzan was the Section 8 from One World.

*sigh* At least the jury won't give Tai the Lil Morris treatment. Not caring who wins. I know Tai is an acquired taste, but he strikes me as a good person who is kind and can't separate the game from reality. Also, he fucked Scot Pollard, and that puts a smile on my face.

I remember hearing about Brad screwing people in "real life," and I speculated that the people he wrong would beat the shit out of him after he won. So that's something to hope for. Brad? This is Survivor. If you're not stabbing people in the back, you're not playing the damn game. I know Tai is a lot for some people to take, but fuck you, Brad.

So . . . 10-0-0, right? Damn. Who would be the more painful winner with an undeserved extra chance: Brad or Tyson?

Tai hasn't drowned on the water slide. Good for him.

Legacy Advantage: keep it. But instead of making it a transferable idol, have it negate votes depending on the stage of the game. Three at the early stage, two midway, one at F6. Sarah would've been toast if not for all that power.

Which players have five wins? I'm thinking Colby and Tom Westman, who would never be mentioned by name because Probst isn't fond of silver manes.