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A.V. Club: Adam Reed talks Archer.

Anybody else thinking that most of the charities involved will do what I figure Special Olympics did this season? "Yeah, thanks for offering to represent us and raise money, but we're gonna double down on cold calls. Thanks, though!" It just feels so needless. Nobody should have to give a shit watching this. Aside from CT and Tony's "Dad Bod" salute, what good was there? And Tony is still an asshole. I don't want to hear about giving Alyssa a ring.

So what . . . "Danger Island," "Dreamland" and "regular" continuity were just simulations of life on a spaceship? Probably not, though Adam Reed can sell it. Coming in 2019: Archer in Space. Hey, maybe they'll run into Xander Crews and Killface. Wow, "Danger Island" ended awesomely . . . with everybody hating Noah, Fuchs not getting respect, copious amounts of Hobbit referencing, and the tribal chief having a good laugh about replacing the gang's ammo with bones. And I love this quote from the AV Club review: "So R.I.P. to Danger Island Archer, a man who died as he lived: Falling into a volcano alongside a murderous Nazi robot, while bragging about sexual conquests he never actually achieved." That's so Archer and so Archer, y'know? Pull/Push gag for the win. Once again, that's so Archer, in the sense that they're not stupid, but it didn't occur to any of them not to pull on the door. Even though this season was a fantasy, it's sad that Luigi didn't run off with Du Du. For a big dude, he vanished so effectively. And I like French Ray's exit. "I'll go for help!!" Beat. Archer: "Merci, asshole!!!"

This week: ANW bravely forgets how Jessie bit the big one in Vegas last year. Next week: ANW bravely forgets that Geoff Brittens cleared the course three years ago, and he hit all six buzzers. Eh, he'll be back next year. I'm sure Matt & Akbar will bring it up then. Speaking of our excitable hosts . . . how often did production had to stop filming to hose stains off those two? Quite a crazy night with lots of highs. Also, JJ Woods flaming out of a qualifying course for the second time in three years. Hurts to watch, especially how he made the finals of Nnija vs. Ninja as a member of Team Ronin, alongside Flip Rodriguez and Meagan Martin. Nice job from Jessie. If she made the Mega Wall, I think at least one of the announcers would have died right then and there. The bit about her secret project was a bit annoying . . . but she's Jessie. So awesome.

@ebk57 . . . but the original Pizza Rat was spotted in Manhattan. Also, while "Pizza Rats" was the top name in the 2016 poll to rename the Baby Bombers, there weren't enough votes cast, and all of the choices were met with apathy at best. Resorting to a meme from 2015 is sad. Anybody hitting the minors? Maybe get personally healed by Tim Tebow at an Eastern League game?

Sorry that I'm just setting this up almost three-quarters into the episode. It's been a helluva ride. The 49-year-old guy that lets people call him "Bootie"? Advanced. The "Moose Ninja"? Advanced, and Matt & Akbar wore his hat in celebration. Ryan Stratis cleared Mega Wall. Isaac Calderio is in the house (he runs next week). And still to come: Jessie Graf.

Staten Island Yankees rebrand on Saturday nights. This is the definition of "sad," right?

This is the fourth season with returning Racers out of 31. I know, I'd rather Big Brother contestants stay far the fuck away from a quality program . . . but this is the price we are asked to pay for TAR's continued existence. Considering I was dreading an all-Big Brother edition with the "creme de la crap" of competitive reality programing, I'm okay paying for it.

If only we were that lucky. Right now, I’d like to figure out the rationale of the teams.

. . . and that’s how little Big Brother means to me. While I’m thinking about it . . would Challengers be better or worse than the “hamsters”? And I mean the more stable ones, like Leroy or Jenna. Johnny can go screw, which is my answer to anything related towards Johnny. ETA: I present the question for everyone, not just @Jobiska.

In case you haven't heard, the 31th season of The Amazing Race is being run now. The premise is basically "Battle Of The CBS Reality Stars," with teams of Big Brother and Survivor contestants running against returning Racers. This thread isn't about location or elimination spoilers. I figure that we could talk about the eleven teams of two, and how we know them from their past outings. Here's my POV: Big Brother Rachel Reilly (BB12, BB13, TAR 20, and TAR 24) & Elissa Slater (BB15) I forget Rachel is a hybrid. . . .. basically CBS trying to make "fetch" happen with sticking BB teams onto TAR. All I remember is that she and boyfriend Brandon were annoying, and that the alternative to Dave & Conner winning TAR24 would have been Brandon & Rachel triumphing, which was way the fuck worse. I do not know Elissa. Janelle Pierzina (BB6, BB7, BB14) & Britney Haynes (BB12, BB14) I don't know them, though I think that I've heard Janelle's name a few times. I'm guessing she's an extra slice of "special." Nicole Franzel (BB16 and BB18) & Victor Arroyo (BB18) Never heard of them. Survivor Eliza Orlins (Survivor Vanuatu, Survivor Fans vs. Favorites) & Corrine Kaplan (Survivor Gabon, Survivor Caramoan) I hated Corrine. Huge piece of work in a season (Gabon) chock full of them. I think Eliza is the one that fans go to for reaction shots. Rupert Boneham (Survivor Pearl Islands, Survivor All-Stars, Survivor Heroes vs. Villains, and Survivor Blood vs. Water) & Laura Boneham (Survivor Blood vs. Water) Basically, Rupert is the big lovable tie-dyed teddy bear that we're supposed to love, as long as you miss the bits of nastiness (almost killing Jon Dalton, slagging Lillian Morris on Day 39 of Pearl Islands) and stupidity (tried to set up a camp below water). Him and the missus being here is probably the biggest price "true" TAR fans have to pay for there to still be a TAR. Chris Hammons & Bret LaBelle (Survivor Millennials vs. Gen X) I'm mostly clueless about these two. The Amazing Race Becca Droz & Floyd Pierce (season 29) They were from the "22 strangers" season, where they teamed up and had a good old time. Well, there was the bit where Floyd had misplaced his passport, and Becca came close to murdering him over it. Also, he came close to dying on his final Roadblock. You think she'll leave the "Fun Meter" at home? Fat chance. Tyler Oakley & Korey Kuhl (season 28) Well, if you really need a team from the "online personalitieis" season, these would be the two most inoffensive. And I think Tyler's following is still huge. Leo Temory & Jamal Zadran (season 23 and all-stars) Back-to-back fourth-place finishes isn't that shabby a feat. If you're going to bring in a team for a third try, you could do worse that the self-billed "Afghanimals." Art Velez & John James “JJ” Carrell (season 20) All I remember is they had the misfortune of being on the same edition as Rachel & Dave, who smoked most of the legs. Art & JJ's las leg came to a Roadblock one of them couldn't complete fast enough. While that was going on, Rachel & Dave had inadvertedly rushed past that, went to the finish line, were told by Phil that they missed the Roadblock, went towards that, and wound up finishing it before the border patrol agents could finish it. Also: why not Tim & Te Jay or Kym & Ali from TAR24? I remember that season a lot more fondly. Colin Guinn & Christie Woods (season 5) Just a perfect mix of being competent and assholes. Perfect foils from Charla & Mirna (the pill and her entire bottle of a cousin) and Chip & Kim (their direct opposites). I mean, Colin & Christie set up a high for most legs won at the time, but they were huge pieces of work. And God help anybody around them if shit went sideways on them. Just look up "Broken Ox" and tell me what you see. Don't know if Colin has mellowed, or if he's capable of an epic meltdown. Can't wait to find out!

Charmy = Majin Baa. That is cute, @Terrafamilia. Heart for you. Kinda hoping Asta gets hit with tranquilizing magic, but that wouldn't slow him much. "I WILL BECOME!!!! Uggggggghhhh, what whas I gon do? Marry the nun, win respeck . . . oh, yeah. Wizard King. I WILL BECOME THE WIZARD KING!!!!!"

One last insane semifinal, as Team Ronin advances to the final. They'll be facing Iron Grip next week, while Labreckfast Club vies with Party Time for a shot at the trophy.. I'm not certain you could have picked a better final four. Run of the night: Meagan Martin beating Michelle Warnky. On the extended course. They cleared all nine obstacles, so you know Matt & Akbar orgasmed so hard. Disappointment of the night was Flip vs. Lorrin. Flip wound up wiping out midway, so we didn't get a definitive answer as to who was faster.

1. Huge shock, right? 2. If you look at the Instagram tag, you'll notice it came from Roy. Given that the Warriors completed the sweep on Friday, it wasn't totally out of place. I thought it was funny, especially with Roy admitting his budget was "72 cents."

In unrelated news, the News wondered if the Mets should get something for their guys before they fall apart, and they had deGrom and Thor in the Yankee unis. If that were to happen . . . trade with the AL West. Or Japan. One of those places. ETA: Scroll down to “Mets fans: Get Used To It.” Could that be considered “hate speech”? I’m numb to the Mets’ woes, but I want to punch that asshole.

Roy Wood Jr. mixes ending with NBA Finals. I’m not into basketball, but I thought this was funny.

Going through the filler flashbacks, fast-forwarding through a lot of it. "Naruto: Patient Zero" was a fun idea, as was Tenten's episode. She should hang with Winry.

Going into the final week, here's my order: Legends, Flash, Supergirl, Arrow. Supergirl hasn't dragged like Arrow, but I kinda want the season to just end, telegraphed deaths and all. Like Winn's Agent Friend who basically tried to use Brainiac 5's canon force bubble against the Kryptowitches. Three of them. Yeah, what did expect would happen? And yeah, would it be too much to send Kara's cousin off somewhere for the bulk of the season? Also capable o settling everything inside three minutes: Cat Grant. PS: I watched Black Lightning as well, but I'm not sure where to put it. Maybe in the second position?

My question: whom will the Mets send after deGrom gets nailed with a falling anvil?

Pressure is on the Racers. They gotta represent the franchise. Hey, “Broken Ox”! You two still wanna eat a doughy and lovable dope alive, leaving a grieving widow behind? This time, nobody would hate you if you take down Rupert. ETA: I know, not an apt comparison. Chip never got to wear on people’s nerves over the years. I get how he’d rub some the wrong way, but he was never the pantload Rupert was.

Just bumping up due to ninja talk on the episode threads. Once again, I don't outright hate anyone from the show like I would other "spectacles." If Grant McCartney and Jake Murray want to have fun and be goofy, let 'em. Neil Craver lives up to "Crazy" with a flaming Salmon Ladder? Alrighty, then. I try not to let outside stuff shape my viewing experience. Hey, at least Lorrin Ball and Flip Rodriguez aren't that gung ho for speed anymore.

In case you didn't hear, the 31st season of The Amazing Race will pit returning players versus folks from Survivor and Big Brother. Here's the article from Reality Blurred. Since we're deal with CBS, two of the six former castaways already make me nauseous. Meh, maybe they'll go out early.

Listing for tonight's episode: I'm thinking we're looking at the FX series. If the Nerd wears a wig like the comic version of David Haller, it will be a success. ETA: “Nerd sticking his dick in a vacuum cleaner.” Of course. It was a pretty decent sketch, though. You’d need an hour to cover the insanity of the first season. I don’t even know what the fuck goes on nowadays.

Here is a list of teams from Reality Blurred. I have problems with half of the Survivor teams, but I think that one certain pair from TAR will thrill the heck out of fans. Good lookin’ out, Elise & Bert. I mean, I can still see folks from CBS literally kneecapping returning Racers to make the others look good, but we have a fighting chance.

We have a heartbeat. Phil mentioned all of CBS’ “Big Three,” so maybe we won’t be forced into a gruesome decision.