Sun-Bun

I refer to my female version of the "Man Cave" as my "Lady Lair."

That hideously annoying song all over the previews already annoyed me enough to not watch that show---why do these "empowering" chick song themes have to usually feature white chicks wailing all over a plodding formulaic pop beat? Ugh...

Man, I can't stand Brittany; can't stand her smug attitude, her two-faced, phoney nature or her wannabe-gangsta potty mouth and completely unprofessional attitude with co-workers. What a nasty bitch she is---to me, she is farrrr worse than Kier in the attitude-department. At least Kier is serious about getting a job done and has enough class to keep her temper and curse words at bay when on the job or otherwise. And at least Kier doesn't constantly bait/berate her co-workers with bitchy commentary specifically designed to stir shit up. Honestly, I thought it was disgusting the way the girls all sat there trying to get Kier upset and fighting about their sudden little model-switch at the last minute---and the way Kier absolutely refused to take their bait actually made me root for her against their silly little "Mean Girls"-esque showdown. Actually, I blame Brittany's pudgy-legged bland "best friend" for ruining that shoot because she was such a hideously incapable model who wasn't comfortable posing in a variety of inventive ways and it showed. Kier's far prettier model would've been far superior and probably would've rocked that shoot---and they didn't pick her for the shoot because she said on the phone she was "boring"?! Give the gal some credit for her honesty---owning your own business and thus working your ass off constantly IS boring to most people, that's why most people don't do it, sheesh!! So if they want to blame someone for ruining that entire day's shooting, blame Brittany and her pointless batch of raging cuntitude for the entire miserable day. She's just awful!!

I follow her on Instagram and thus get more regular scoop on her daily doings, but she does freelance writing/articles for various magazines/websites, she's working on yet another book(this one is a collection of essays), and she's recently filmed a few upcoming beauty campaigns and commercials.All I'm saying is that I get more of a go-getter vibe from her than from Kelly, especially since she's been refreshingly frank about her reasoning for doing the show: "I'm a single woman with bills to pay."

Yes!!! She also reminds me of Adrianna from RH of Miami, complete with the constant bitchface, gaudy wardrobe, delusions of grandeur, and haughty, hateful attitude. They really do have to feature the typical crazy brunette bitch on all these Bravo shows, don't they??

I've always wondered how exactly Kelly has managed to live as well as she has for a dried-up former model who merely juggles various little vanity jobs the way she does. How much does the odd TV hosting job/random fashion book release/occasional modeling assignment/self-penned magazine article/former jewelry line really pay? Child support checks from Gilles must pay decently, but how much dough is a well-known fashion photographer really worth? Not to mention her daughters are both teenagers now, so the checks will dry up in less than 5 years...then what?? She did have to sell her Hamptons home a few years ago, so maybe she invested that money well and is able to get by on various residuals and maybe former spousal support/her divorce settlement, but still, it ain't cheap living well in Manhattan and she ain't out there proudly hustling for extra paid writing work like say, Carole Radziwill. I've often wondered if her fabulous downtown loft is paid for or a rental as well---it's gotta be worth a pretty penny, being that it's a 2 bedroom/2 bathroom stunner where she lives with her daughters. I'm guessing Giles bought it for them long ago since she's reportedly lived there for so long and he supposedly has a place in the same loft building? But her lifestyle/mindset has always been a bit of an enigma to me---not to mention the fact that she's apparently never had another long-term relationship or marriage after Gilles. I find her supposed mental issues both fascinating and frightening; she apparently never quite bounced back from the former adulation of hot young model-turned famous photographer's muse/wife and her social/fashion connections are dwindling along with her youth/good looks. Very appropriate that she could get lost in the land of Sonja Morgan delusions if she's not careful and doesn't plan her estate/earnings accordingly. It's also astonishing that someone who seems as daffy and "off" as she is actually graduated from college and has written several books.

Once again, I'm so befuddled by what any of these wastoids plan to do with their lives/careers that I can barely focus on the actual plot of this show. Seriously though, what's the endgame for all these pathetic chumps?? They're all so desperate to work for Lisa and retain their pretty little scenarios and stations in life, but what do any of them actually want to do with themselves professionally after this show has run it's course and they're too old/tragic to be working the pretty people LA bar scene??? Most of them are either in their late 20's or in their 30's, so it's just sad to see them all still desperately clinging to this lifestyle. Even Stassi, who acts like she is so "above" these kids now is still just farting what's left of her youth away like she's some society matron and not some rich douche's latest kept woman. Peter appears to be the only person in this younger cast with an ounce of professionalism and work ethic. The rest of them just seem so lost in their delusions of becoming long-term successful models/actors/musicians---I think that ship has sadly sailed for all of them, especially the ones who are already past age 30. It's oddly entertaining to watch this batch of delusional losers wallow in their own brand of filth, but there's still such an air of sadness and wasted youth/opportunities surrounding every addictive episode of this trash. I think all the crappy apartments featured really enhance the sadness---at least with "Laguna Beach"/"The Hills/"The City" those kids were all rich and had the plush homes/condos & wardrobes/cars to prove it.

I had the misfortune to endure part of Kevin Costner's hideous egofest of a flick "The Postman" the other day and was bemused to see a younger Chip in it as well, just acting his young heart out. It made me giggle a bit, not only because it made me remember how shitty most of Kevin Costner's self-directed flicks were, but because I saw some early shades of drunk Deacon in Chip's performance---it helped that his character seemed perpetually anguished and really into breaking shit for no reason.

Or how about: * Where can I put my stripper pole? * This wallpaper/paint color is so beautiful! * I really could care less what my neighbors are seeing over here or why they'd even give a damn about what goes on in my home. * This would be the perfect room for enjoying all my porn! * What a nice big stairwell; our kid will just have to learn to be very careful while walking on stairs. * I just love the noises of the city. * I just don't have enough shoes/clothes to ever fill up this closet. * Stainless steel and granite is for basic bitches.

I was mainly amused and horrified by the Macy Gray-looking chick who got kicked off the show first because she was *such* a clueless, clown-makeup-wearing hot mess!! Seriously, I wondered if they put her on the show strictly for trainwreck television purposes, because she looked/acted like a goddamned braindead hobo the entire time. First she's checking texts on her phone during the intitial meeting with the head-honchos, then she's loudly yapping on her phone to her boyfriend while letting turban-girl hook her up in the middle of the DVF showroom, then she's literally stalking DVF at the fancy awards gala to try to talk to her, and THEN she actually passes out in the ladies restroom from "dehydration" and has to be removed from the event in a hospital gurney??? I mean, was she for real??!!!

Ditto---I've been catching up with it via OnDemand, and I'm laughing maybe once per episode, at best. Joel on this show *used* to make me laugh so hard throughout that I'd almost weep...he comes off now like he's almost phoning it in. Actually, everyone is, and that's just sad! Also? ENOUGH with the lame, promo-thirsty guests and their pathetic comedy bits, ugh!! I dunno if it's the writing or if the show just needs to shake things up and find wackier clips and bring back the funny pop-up characters/lines(("Kiss my ass!", "Chicken Tetrazini!", etc)), but something's gotta give. This show feels more lifeless every week and Joel needs to drink a Red Bull or three before he films new shows, I'd say.

Yikes! Where's the rest of her body?! She used to look far more pleasantly proportionate in her skinnydom, but now that she's gotten older and been through some stressful times she's just become yet another shrively-faced celebrity lollipop head. That's just not attractive, normal or healthy. I've read her first skinnygirl diet book, and while I liked a lot of her tips and suggestions, it still felt a bit like a cleverly-disguised book promoting an eating disorder. I am excited to see her back though---her various scenes featuring her sparring with Kelly were pure comedic gold. I may not have been a fan, but I admired her for being such a go-getter, just smart and ballsy and so quick to call out any bullshit. I always admired her gusto and work ethic, or how calm she was under pressure. Now I'm just beyond intrigued to see how she'll mix with Heather and Carole!!

He looked soooo much better and less sleazy without that hideous rug!! Why do guys even attempt the bad wigs? Nothing wrong with embracing your baldness, fellas; anything beats looking like you're wearing a dead squirrel on your head. Great episode, btw---nice to see this show *finally* picking up steam after such a slowwww start. I didn't even notice the lack of Will and Layla! That's a good thing; I'm getting a bit tired of their drama queeny plot. And I'm beyond sick and tired of whiney, mopey Scarlett---when she told Zooie "Not everything is about you" after going into yet another one of her psycho-trance pity-parties, I wanted to smack the bad extension glue right out of her scalp. Scarlett claiming "not everything is about you" is pretty rich considering she sucks all the fun and energy right out of any room or party she enters. Talk about a giant ball of NEED---she just needs to get some serious therapy and move the Hell on with her new career and love life already, because three seasons of her "poor widdle me" routine is just beyond stale. Hayden killed it yet again this episode. Now can't poor Juliette catch a break finally? Avery too---it's like they're destined to be together, doomed to their never ending cycles of bad luck! Meanwhile, Rayna can do no wrong on this show, apparently. Everything comes so easy for her and everyone just wants to be liked by her. Yawn...

Anyone here tried Cookie Butter from Trader Joe's yet??? It's pure bliss---kinda like crumbled up ginger snaps with a hint of shortbread flavor in a nice peanut-buttery texture. I just discovered it and may have a new obsession; tastes great spread on sugar or shortbread cookies, or even pumpkin swirl or apple cinnomin bread. I could care less about Nutella or hazelnut spread, but Cookie Butter? Yes please! Mmmmm...and yes, I love it either way, but obviously I'm a die-hard member of the creamy peanut butter club.

Andy soooo needs to buy that Warhol/Nagel-esque painting of The Countess's head---that's hilarious!!!! It's so damned tacky and cheesetacular that it would look lovely amidst of all his other gaudy junk on the set of WWHL. The rest of the stuff at her estate sale? Meh...pretty boring overall. Typical Hamptons-style shabby chic blandness. Figures that Lu just found most of it at that nearby Hamptons furniture store. For such a stylish gal otherwise, her taste in home decor has never really grabbed me as unique or elegant.

Yaya Decosta was actually the 1st runner up on the 3rd "Cycle"/season of "America's Next Top Model." A lot of folks honestly thought she was the better pick than the actual winner, Eva Pigford/Larue---ironically enough, Eva has gone on to have just as much success in various acting roles here and there as Yaya, although Yaya has done more major film roles while Eva has mainly done television roles. Anyways, hopefully Yaya brings a decent amount of cred to this role. I think she looks close enough to Whitney to pull her off, unlike most of the laughable casting choices that Lifetime is becoming infamous for with their bad bio films.

That's a shame...I was hoping the show would help the guy's campaign overall. Granted, I'm sure most of us more liberal/progressive folks here wouldn't agree with many of his political beliefs, but one can't help but root for the guy after he proved to be such a likable rascal who just wants a second chance. On the flipside, his latest family pics with Kathryn and Kensie are just adorable---they seem so insanely happy, which is nice to see.

Ahhhhh, now that makes complete sense in retrospect---it may have been really piss-poor writing to create such a pointless reason for their big breakup, although it does really display the acting chops/immense charm of Sarah Jessica Parker to have played it off in such an oddly believable, infuriating manner, eh?

Next to the infamous "He ruined the fucking surprise!!!" limo ride-to-crappy-party-at-home temper tantrum, the rainbow suit-wearing shit-fit over not getting to deliver his big speech at the Pride parade, and the creepy red shiny pants dance-off with Ramona at some charity party, Simon earnestly performing that godawful disco trash in shiny blue pants on "Watch What Happens Live" is probably the greatest of Simon's most awkwardly cringe-worthy moments. So that's all I can offer as to why Alex & Simon weren't more likable and embraced by fans: they were completely, uncomfortably awkward. And not even in an ironic, amusing Napoleon Dynamite-sorta way, but awkward in that sadly clueless way. They genuinely didn't seem to understand how dorky and lame they truly were. They just never learned to embrace their inner-geeks and were always desperately striving to be seen as cooler and more-connected than they could ever hope to be. Thank gods they're moving back to Oz already.

Yessss!!! This "breakup" was my least favorite and most hated of them all, because Carrie totally created its purpose in her head and acted like such a crazy, commitment-obsessed freak that it's a wonder she didn't scare Mr. Big away forever with all that creepy, pushy behavior. Canceling a big Carribean getaway with your boyfriend just because he wasn't dishing out the "L word" and future plans quickly enough for you?? I'm sorry, but that's pure stupidity in action! Your rich boyfriend is taking you on a damned fabulous vacation, which is a huge relationship-builder for many new couples---enjoy yourself, have some good times and great sex, and maybe he'll be ready to say how much he loves you *after* he realizes what an awesome traveling companion you are! See, that's what made me so upset about Carrie and question her sanity/intelligence at that point: she never stopped to think that maybe Mr. Big was taking her on that trip as a test and to see if maybe *he* was finally ready to take the relationship to the next level. I actually learned a great life lesson that way and thanks to that episode: My new boyfriend of 3 months((at the time I'd watched that episode)) was taking me on a glam wine country getaway and I *really* wanted things to go farther with him. But like needy Carrie, I wasn't sure if I was ready to go on a getaway with someone who didn't make me feel like he was 100% sure about me...yet. Then I realized how ridiculous I'd look to miss out on a free vacay with a good man! Turns out he was just as nervous about things as I was, but we had such an amazing time on that trip together that he was all but shouting his love to the heavens after our return. Five happy years of marriage to him later and I am sooooo glad I didn't pull a Carrie and went ahead on that vacation with him! So yeah...Carrie was kind of an idiot and often created her own relationship/romantic messes. This episode firmly proved it.

Well that was just a bunch of stupidly overwrought, tepid bullshit. ALL THE PLOTS were just ridiculous love triangles and romantic woes. And forgettable country music coupled with melodramatic cryface scene-chewing, plus a laughably implausible flashback scene to wash this mess all the way down. Seriously, show?! I think I can quit you now.

Thank you, Giselle! That's generally how I refer to this show: Persian Nom-Parties!!I'd gladly join the big girls at the table feeding my face too. Lilly was always so proud of her tiny figure, but what's the point of that if you can't even drink and party and just cut loose with the big girls?? And yes, I love how confident and free Asa is about her curvy figure---I think it makes her the sexiest of these ladies overall, especially in light of the far more insecure vibes that both MJ and GG give off with their own constant focus on their looks and figures. Or maybe that's just their desperate single lady blues coming through? Speaking of which, the only thing I can gather from Asa's mysterious sources of wealth and somehow being able to support her creative "Persian Priestess" pursuits despite coming from a poor background is that she knows how to choose wealthy partners. I know she lived with a very successful and rich businessman for quite a few years before doing this show and somehow ended up with that lovely house that they once had shared together. She mentioned that she'd rented it out for a while and probably made some decent dough as a landlord there. And she's been seriously involved with Jermaine Jackson's son for the past few years, so he's probably helped fund quite a few of her recent efforts, so there's that. Can't blame a confident gal for using her charms and wits to land a good man!

Ugh...I'm so tired of all the romantic hogwash tossed at this entire cast throughout the series. It's actually not helping the show come off nearly as progressively as it thinks it would. How about we see some more career strategizing and other more interesting plotlines pop up instead of just who is sleeping with/dating whom? Also, I'm secretly hoping Scarlett will grow a pair, quit acting like such a whiny little special snowflake, and actually prove that she's every bit as talented, beautiful and charismatic as the rest of the folks on the show claim, because I have as of yet to see it---I dunno if it's the actress playing her or the way she's written, but the character is such a dumbass that I almost find her oddly fascinating. Layla's character started out oddly catty and competitive, so I dunno what happened to her in the writing department along the way. And Gunnar's girlfriend is just...NO. No more boring young 20-something chicks, show!!

As much as I enjoyed yesterday's episode with the middle-aged couple who wanted to live in Nice, France/The French Riviera, I was left with so many unanswered questions afterwards. First of all, it said they sold their vineyard in CA to make their dream of living in charming France happen; but how did they plan on actually surviving in France? Were they retiring or were they somehow able to have enough dough left over to survive a few years overseas without working?? Were they planning on staying there for the rest of their lives??? And how in the *Hell* could a couple that was used to living in a sprawling Western vineyard suddenly enjoy living 24/7 in what is essentially a 300 square ft hotel room?!! I dunno, it just seemed almost too crazy of a "dream" to believe for me, a mature couple giving up their former busy lifestyles just to live in a "charming little fishing village" and soak up some quintessential French scenery. I'd be afraid they'd get so bored of that lazy lifestyle and tiny village after a while...and if I were the wife, I'd be afraid period of just being so far and removed overseas with just my husband and my savings to keep me afloat in my elder years. Maybe that's just my safety-oriented practical side speaking here. Also, the wife was slightly annoying with her constantly spazzing out all over the French scenery and views. Somehow I just found her to be the typical basic bitch Francophile-type who probably won't be so in love with her "charming little fishing village" after another 6-8 months of living in a 300 sq ft closet and finding ways to amuse herself and her husband on a daily basis there. Also, any chance to catch a sighting of that wacky realtor lady who does all the HH International episodes in France is golden---she's usually so over the typical goofy Americans searching for their perfectly-sized/priced "American in Paris" pads with equally perfect views that laughably never seem to materialize for them and their ridiculously meager budgets. She totally had that dumb broad's number and was almost cackling behind the couple's back over their usual unrealistic expectations of pricey French real estate.

One of the things that annoys me so insanely much about the Real Housewives franchise is that they have these lavish cocktail/dinner parties, yet you never hardly see the women actually eating and enjoying all those amazing spreads. But not on this show!! These ladies love their food and enjoy every celebratory bite of their Persian nom-fests. I find that insanely endearing and can't wait to see yet more Persian spreads and drunken outings too!