Lambie

Is he putting in a koi pond or taking it out? That thing was so tiny!

That's rough. Kristianna seems like she's really trying to hold her new life together. 58?! I would have thought late 60s.

Yay! I finally made it to live chat! Lisa has some MAJOR bald spots from those awful extensions! She matches Stan now!

Did Shawn really lie to Angela's twin about not having written/wooed prison babes before? He knows we've all seen last season, right? He's the worst. I love the between-commercial insight we got on Stan's hairpiece from Lisa. Her friend said what we all think every time he comes on screen.

They deserve each other. She's a vile human being and he's garbage. When this implodes she'll get another sympathy edit and we'll never be rid of her.

Aw, Confirmed Indian John really loves decorating his truck! I hope he volunteers every Memorial Day to pull a float in the town parade.

Sara seemed SO wise when she said that she needed to focus on learning how to be a mother and she just didn't have room for Shawn. Then she agrees to meet him. I hope she's only doing it to get more episodes for Sharp Entertainment money. I didn't even care that she was working him for a tanning session and breakfast because Shawn deserves to have his bone marrow stolen from him for being so entitled and, yet, completely worthless to humankind. Dare I say, Lacey looks really good?! She snapped back really well after the baby and her face looks less plastic. For as much as she looks better Shane looks awful with that hair.

They are so, so very boring and I FF through their scenes but good for them, I guess. She's an ex-con so her job prospects are limited, he's a poker player with a Masters that he's apparently never used so his prospects are limited also, at least according to the job coach he saw when Brittany was pregnant with their #2 (her #5?). So if they're making some bank from Sharp Entertainment it's better than they could do in the real world. They want to come across as the responsible parents who beat the odds so I hope they're putting something away for the kids. Unlike Shawn. Who turns my stomach.

Compared to? Any income Sharp pays them is more than these two chuckleheads would make otherwise.

You guys, I drove from CT to NC to see my parents yesterday and as I was crossing the Chesapeake bridge/tunnel all I could do was laugh hysterically wondering which Virginia Beach exit Chon and Chane were and if Chon was out of chail. Then I realized I could also look for Daonte and Nicole and THEN I realized I could find Tarik and Hazel while I was at it. That's what 10 hours alone in the car will do you for you. Daonte and his friend are the best couple ever to be on a reality show. The Post Malone/Machine Gun Kelly comment slayed me as did his friend's statement about the sky being blue. I love them. Shawn is the creepiest creep who ever creeped. God. I'm surprised he didn't put a roofie in that classy smoothie he made her. He seems like he's escalating with the desperation and creepiness. At first he seemed dumb and hapless, now he's angry and taken advantage of. Last season he was talking about the con before Destinee and the way he said "she was a dumb bitch" gave me chills. His body language when Sara was trying to make her escape gave me the same feeling.

The last scene of Rachel with her friend installing the security camera was the smartest thing I've ever seen on any reality show, never mind one that involves marriages with career felons. I think she's still in for a world of misery by keeping Dougie Jr. Don't get me wrong, I love that she did, I love that he has a chance at a normal life with her, but Doug will always be part of her life and her cabinet may not be enough for him to rage out on when he realizes Dougie Jr has no use for him in his life.

Oh Rachel, you're so cute and you seem intelligent. Why are you doing this?!

I was so proud of Daonte for saying he was going to turn her phone off and seemingly peacing out of that situation. But, since this is a show and we have more episodes, I'm assuming that he doesn't. I can't hate on Pickle for having some confidence in her sexuality since she clearly has issues in so many other areas of her mental health. But she worked in the prison system! This dude has been in prison since he was an adult and was in solitary for I don't know how long, of course he has issues with intimacy! Doug would be entertaining to me if his son wasn't fighting both nature and nurture not to be a future spree killer. He is delusional over his value in Rachel's life. I thought she spoke very reasonably to him about Dougie Jr and going to counseling to have more communication tools and his weird, said-a-million-times-in-prison story about tricking all the psychiatrists who had seen him was hilarious. He is a career felon, he will be back in jail soon enough, his perceived locus of control is wildly distorted. And Jeff? Man, I dig this guy. I'm putting those goals on my vision board too! He's the most honest criminal I'd never trust to be in my house! Live your dream, my friend!

Thank you RealReality. I thought there were multiple shit aunts involved but then I thought maybe Dougie's mother was one of the women he was screaming at. Whenever I hear Stan speak I can't help but think of this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jagh6HIURT8 @Auntie Anxiety I can't wait to join live chat!

Folks, I have binge watched 2.5 seasons in the last 2 weeks to be able to join you fine folks! NO REGRETS. This cast is spectacular. I saw the ramen noodle memes and now that I know the people involve -- sublime. Amazing. TV perfection. I do feel for Daonte despite his willful ignorance. I had no use for Shawn and his stupidity because he had 6 kids he should have been focusing on. Daonte seems like there really is something off about him. I wonder what his service time was like in the Marines. Can someone please recap how the Doug/Dougie fight went from 0 to 100 in 3 seconds? What was the deal with the letters? They were letters from Doug to Dougie? Who was the woman he was fighting with, his sister? Dougie is so damaged and as likable and smart as Rachel seems, she's not the one to step in because she's making staggeringly dumb life choices. I love Ray's grandmother. That smile when she screeched into the parking lot IN A PICKUP TRUCK was life. And this has been bothering me from season 2 -- COVID! It's like it doesn't exist for these people! I'm so excited to get to know you all! I actually bought the short series Prison Wives that aired about a decade ago. Grace Darkhorse? Any fans?

I've managed to stay away from this season of this shit because Mike is SO. DAMNED. TRIGGERING for me but I caved. Natalie is crazy, yes, and I don't think she gave one shit that she wasn't marrying for love but Mike's shrugs, gaslighting, and refusal to use his words like an adult to discuss something is painful to watch. I know it's reality tv and Natalie will go off to do Only Fans whatever it is F-list reality stars do but Mike ain't changing. Ever. He will do this again and again to women and Mama Mike and Buddies of Big Mike will always believe he is the victim. Do we know what happened to Father Mike? When Mike did his memory lane of his mother on the previous episode there were no pictures of his father. Mama Mike looks like she had a rough life but she taught her son that it's okay to be manipulative and quietly cruel. Like her son, she takes no ownership for her actions.

Poor Zabel. He redeemed himself for not solving the other girl's murder by helping Mare solve this one. Such a heavy episode. I liked the scene when Mare met her prostitute connection. Who bought coffee, doing occasional tricks in order to be able to spend more time with her grandchild and zero judgement from Mare. It was a nice, oddly normal touch to have them connect like that. I'm almost 50 and still don't want to think about my parents having sex. I certainly couldn't handle the idea of my father having sex with another woman when I was that age. I think he was appropriately messed up over it. I'm wondering how these theories will play out about his dad being involved in Erin's death though.

The frozen vegetable debate is giving me life. Thank you! I both love and am annoyed by this show. Of course we suspect the priest but then we're not supposed to because it's too obvious. But he's a clean-shaven guy who has a bigger frame than Zabel so he looks more like the kidnapper. HOWEVER, are we supposed to trust stand-in body type as fact? I don't know, that's why these shows infuriate me. I just can't with Douchey Richard. He's clearly in his 50s and wrote a book. One book as he points out. Get over yourself. Easttown really must be a pisshole if Mare is that starstruck over a smarmy author who uses every date as an opportunity to celebrate him (his party, his birthday).

Why do these chicks who get pregnant by guys who are deadbeats in their own country think they can hold them to American child support/rearing standards? Tiffani is delusional that Ronald would have been a good father whether she stayed in SA or came home. Same for Kalani. These guys weren't providers before and having babies didn't change that. Tiffani and Kalani both want men they can control and shame but I don't get the impression either of them were setting the world on fire before these unplanned pregnancies. They're interchangeable for me and they both suck.

Minor quip here but if the baby's surgery is a motive for murder it's a weak one. The brochure on her mirror said $1995 or something like that. The baby would either be on Pennsylvania CHIP insurance and/or Erin and the baby would be on Medicaid, in either case it would likely be covered. Roy from Scranton's house looked decent and he's planning a wedding, even if he self-paid for the surgery 2K isn't going to kill him. I rewatched most of the ep today and Richard Ryan (who I thought was Sam from True Blood the entire first episode) can go screw himself. He's needy, narcissistic, and I really hope Mare doesn't end up dickmatized like Mildred.

Julia. Her not cute. Her fucking pain in the ass. Her schtick of "Cute Russian girl moves to American farm puppy mill" is already unsufferable and old. Her better enjoy it now. I was horrified that the producers obviously encouraged the cast to put pressure on Amira to be on screen with Andrew. If her story was remotely true she shouldn't have to be confronted by an emotionally abusive psychopath. No, her story isn't perfect but I'm leaning more toward it being true. Even shady TLC must have to do some fact checking (eg, the texts, where she was) in order not to get sued by Andrew who wasn't on stage to defend himself. The producers just let him go. I was on board with the theory they both concocted this story to get on tv but what did he get out of it besides a vacation? He looks like a psychopath now.

And "I'm still processing"

I don't know what's more painful: watching these assholes just be their asshole-selves because it's 90DF, watching these assholes whine about COVID (knowing what was to come for the world), or reliving the early days of COVID through the lens of these assholes. It's all horrible.

Mike. WTF? You're lucky crazy Natalie didn't garrote you with a fishing line with that stupid ass conversation. She had THREE WEEKS LEFT you balding bitch. Shit or get off the pot. Don't say "we'll see...progress is being made." Didn't they have a wedding date set already anyway? Give her the stupid ring or send her home. Natalie's intentions are totally transparent so I have to respect her for that. He thinks he is being coy and clever all the time when really he's a not bright, not attractive, not charismatic douchebag. THAT SAID getting a ring back now seems to be like the saddest goal a woman could have. There was no love or joy there from either of them. I didn't realize what that moment would mean but then I saw how loveless and anticlimactic it was -- two desperate yet delusionally self-important people pretending they love each other exchange a timeless token of love on a filthy, cat piss soaked carpet before they disappear into a wood paneled bedroom with a mattress on the floor and a sheet tacked up as a curtain to bang.

I hate these people. Both the real ones and the characters they play on 90DF.