Brooklynista

Chris saying Matt was never a bad guy to him, but this is the first time they've seen each other in 10 years?? Oookaay??? Hard to be a bad guy when you're an absent guy. But thanks for the free trip to LA on Amber's dime.

I don't even know why his mother was saying the family wouldn't be able to afford to attend the beach wedding. So what?? Just skip this wedding and go to the next one. No way is this the last wedding Matt will have.

"MY" passion project? Not OUR? Hmmm...

I don't see either one of them fighting for custody of Nova. Maybe they'd pretend for a while for a magazine cover or two, then back to April she goes. Who knows, maybe sober April is actually a decent parent?

Was it Fabien's mission to get fired? Why break every rule RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE CAMERAS?? And just in case they weren't sure what was happening, he TELLS the camera crew what he was doing wrong. Perhaps he was too scared to continue with the job and too scared to tell his parents that he wanted to quit. Best to be fired before any of the CO's were hurt behind his chicken shit antics.

Kinda like a ski slope. Weird.

I mean really. Free trip to Hawaii for amusing a half wit? Ok. "Farrah you are the most amazingist person in the universe of Austin".

Well how can I get one of these? Amber, Janelle both paying bills, providing trips and cars to useless men. I want in!

Oh I would go to the wedding if there was an open bar. Alexi would get a shitty gift out of me but it doesn't matter since he doesn't stay in contact anyways. BLOOP!

The closing scene of Catelynn all climbed up in Tyler's lap did her no favors. He looks trapped and she looks sloppy as hell in those worn linty tights. Two folks trapped by their C level celebrity. They remind me of the Gladys Knight tune "Neither one of us wants to be the first to say goodbye".

I become more and more baffled by this shit. Who the fuck is Kathleen? I see she has moved from the stock room at Kinko's to what? The Sheraton? Did Catelynn rent this room? Because Cate was already on the couch when Dr Quack came in the room with her purse. Cate is nearly talking suicide and Kathleen is spewing bullshit. Is she on MTV staff?

Cate: "can you say Carly?" Nova: "no". Nova has no more fucks to give about this Carky bitch. Shes had it with this Carly shit and so have I.

I could do without the highly stylized, slow mo montage of the paternity test reveal to Ashley. Is Mona Scott producing everyblack reality show now?

Why is Farrah still wearing these dumb ass sunglasses as she cleans? And why couldn't Cate call and say she'd be late? Perhaps they would have accommodated her by moving the appt. back 15 minutes.

How dare Amber flounce into Gary's house with $900 in "boutique" shit for Leah. Is Leah supposed to wear a hundred dollar dress at recess? Is she playing dodge ball in that? If she's smart, Kristine will take all of that shit back back to the store and flip it for overalls and Keds at Children's Place. But Amber won't pay back child support?? And I love the way Matt flipped that card to the cashier . No doubt it's linked to Ambers bank account.

Ok, I wear my belt to the side because on maybe Cycle 2 of Top Model, what the girls had said was, wearing the buckle in front added to your tummy bulge. So wear it off center to reduce that bit of pouch. Yup. That's what they had said. Maybe it was Eva The Diva. Can't recall.

OK. I will be the one to say it. I do not believe Tyler was assaulted by anyone. Nor do I believe his story of attempted suicide. To me Tyler likes to spin tales that make him seem a sympathetic character. I know it isn't right to doubt such a story, but this to me has the same feels as Farrah saying James Deen raped her.

Is that allowed? Can you wear sunglasses in church? I would just see my mother giving those shades her side eye like she does when I don't wear pantyhose to church. Who still wears pantyhose anyway?

Who picked Mo up from the parking lot? Danielle drove off...is he still standing there?

Oh yes that was on full display when Mo asked about the divorce and she dropped that sooty grin and lashed at him "You mean annulment?". The joke is on us with that broad.

I think the photo shoot was the closest Jeorge has ever been to seeing Anfisa naked. Sorry. I don't think she's even let him touch it yet. My guess is she's been on her period since she stepped of the plane.

Wouldn't that just be extra paperwork for the CO's? I would think they'd work even harder to avoid any incidents on their shift. Seemed counterproductive for them to ignore the possibly dying man in the corner. But then we all have that coworker who goes abovery and beyond to avoid doing real work while you marvel at how it would be easier to just do the work.

What is that around her neck on the check?

I wonder how long it's been since Maci has even seen Ryan. Maci is SOO busy trying to figure out how she got pregnant and planning a wedding. Aren't most of her drop offs handled by Jen? I'm sure Jen never relayed her special snowflake Ryan was cracked out and had no business anywhere near humans, much less Bentley.

I want to step away from the shit storm for a second because that was damn gross. Question: What in the hell is wrong with Sheri? Didn't she tell us she was a CO? A CO where? Girl Scout camp? How is it her apprx 200 pound ass is sitting on a bunk like blubbering idiot terrified that some 115 pound (maybe) woman is going to beat her to death?? Bitch, bye! I didn't even see Mackenzie speak to Sheri, but somehow she just knew she was going to be murdered in her sleep. Beat her ass if she comes anywhere near you. But first make sure she's even thinking about your ass. These women aren't doing anything but slapping at each other when they do actually fight so I could not understand Sheri's terror. She should look for a job at the facility featured on Behind Bars. She'd fit right in w all of the other terrified CO's that have no business in a jail.