Midnight Cheese

I am no Teresa fan, at all, but I don't see her as having *any* responsibility for 'standing up to Victoria Gotti.' Unless I missed something and I mean that sincerely, because I find so much of this season cringe-worthy, I think only Gotti can be blamed for that, and only those idiot twins can be blamed for the fact that they are both rictus-faced cowards who prefer to confront as a mini-pack and whine and bitch at everyone but the person causing problems (e.g., ripping out Amber's hair, demanding apologies. The twins need to think long and hard about their choices in male partners and also to grow the fuck up.) In terms of the Jax bankruptcy, I personally also think that what may frustrate people about St. Jacqueline of Easter Island and her endless crying about Teresa and all of her other self-indulgent fucknuts-crazy bullshit is that she seems thirsty as hell to expose other people's problems when something is rotten in her own financial house. I also agree that it's in incredibly poor taste to suggest that autism treatments are spurring the desire to downsize - that seems patently false, given the timing of the filings, the timing of Nicholas' regression, the reality of how the state works to help subsidize certain therapies: that's all. I completely and totally agree that nothing Chris or Jacqueline may or may not have done, filed or signed does anything at all to change anything that the Giudices admitted to in the plea agreement, nothing at all. I think all of these women are tiresome and pointless and exhausting (but they used to make for some entertaining TV), but Jacqueline, to me, is in a special category because she's just such a manipulative person. Her whole persona starting out was the 'nice one' who was always trapped between one antagonist and her fambly. First Danielle, then Ashleeighy, then Teresa, then Dina. She is a really hardcore liar not just about what she does, but what she feels, and she is very well-practiced at using tears and unfortunate situations with her kids (Ashlehowevertheeffshespellsit and now Nicholas) as an out of sorts, again strictly IMO. So, not speaking at all for any other snarker, but her whole "I'm just so worried" shtick is just shtick as best I can see. And frankly, maybe just me, but Kathy Wakile is the same way. I have cousins who are out of control in different ways but I let them live and don't see it as my place to 'confront' things, and would sooner die than manipulate my way in doing so on camera. I manage to do so even when someone gets out of their lane at a family event, and I am no saint. Kathy's a giant fake AFAIC, and not an innocent relative who just so missed her family and so wanted to make things right. I can offer no proofs but I find that entire way she's tried to come across as a giant frigging joke. I *do* think Kathy's mom has a heart for her niece and those kids, and that Rosie feels close to Joe G. and feels a genuine concern, and that love may be more than Teresa and Joe deserve. But I think Kathy and Richie are gleeful in private about the Giudices being caught and sentenced. Which, hey, whatever floats their boat. But I don't buy concern for one millisecond from them, at all.

I find those rumors about Jac hooking in Vegas as a 'boat model' and 'aesthetician' or whateverthefuck totally credible. I think she was tricking and scheming when she met Chris and sucked him into her idiot's web. Their story of sweet, sweet love and delicate Jac initially refusing a Laurita 'banging' was so moving. Nothing about Rino and Thing1 (or is it Thing2?) suggests that he did not fuck Santa. I would normally never believe such an out-there rumor but kadooz to them both, I totally think both that Rino is selfish and fool enough and Thing1 lacks enough self-esteem for that sordid bit of stupid to have happened. I also believe Thing2 'destroyed' a family, and that she is a barnacle on Bobby, not a serious girlfriend. Each of those 4 schkeeve me every bit as much as the Giudices, the Wakiles and the Marcrazies.

Marathon's airing right now. If anyone's got some reliable links, I feel like I NEED some reliable ages for these ladies. I"m especially intrigued by Janet and Jackie's birth certificates. I didn't watch most of the season and when I first stopped watching, Jackie was the most annoying person to me, but I could see Lydia and Andrea taking her over. And, sorry-not-sorry: Andrea and Jackie are incredibly unattractive. It's not about a single feature or anything, but they are charmless and cloddish.

Jim is so worthless that it's hard to even care. He's a jerk with Ziggy eyes living in a house of cards with maybe a congenital inability to tell the truth. I mean, I just look past him, almost. Those mini-stripper twins though - they dance on my last nerve like few HW additions. The squeaky whore voices. The fake cans and driveway of sternum between the cleavage in those off-brand cocktail dresses. The unfrozen caveman lawyer foreheads. How insane is it that the mommy affair rumor seems more and more true the more these idiots talk about it? And of course it's, 'Don't you dare talk about my mom!' Get some real boundaries, crack open a fucking book, say a rosary, eat a brownie - just stop TALKING about this rumor if it's that offensive and false, you fools! So Ambuh is sharing Tamra's white-out eyeliner, I see. Wise choices everywhere. I'm not inclined to cut Jacqueline any slack, because she has self-victimized and lied in substantial ways since early in the first season, and her dedication to pointless vanity is pretty fucking notable even in this crew (snerk that her breast tissue might stop 'regrowing' if she put down Kathy's pre-fabricated cannoli once in a while). Also - I'll just go there. She's a shitty mother. She was shitty to Ashley and created that situation, where Ashley was basically isolated within her Jersey family. What decent parent does that? Not a one. She was shitty to Gia during that 'Field Day' episode and clearly treats some children as adversaries and combatants. I am *not* saying she would do that to Nicholas, but I'm not sorry to say that she is unstable and narcissistic and I don't think those traits disappear around Nicholas. I don't think she's driven to show a 'real' side of autism, I think she is driven to get praise for how she deals with it. It's of a piece with insisting she was always in the middle of conflicts when she created them - she did not create the situation, of course, it's absolutely no one's fault. But I think the self-victimizing is a huge, huge part of Jacqueline.

This fool is idiocy on two legs. The repeats from last season showing her shrieking in Savannah at Monique about Monique's effed-up husband and marriage: oh my! One would think Porsha married for reasons other than $$$$$$$ (and Chanel. and the joys of being a dependent), she's so strident. Maybe she needs to smell herself - but maybe not, because since past behavior is the best predictor of future behavior, I'm thinking during the new season she'll be busy out-stupiding herself. How will her next "Porsha moment" top the Underground choo-choo comment?

I should give up the ghost of Jersey past - I'm out of the show's rhythm and think Ambuh and Lawyer Jim and those haggard, trashbag, shrieking twins are the worst additions to any Housewife franchise ever. God, the twins. They look like skeletons of 19th century children who suffered from failure to thrive stuffed with slowly leaking gel implants and covered in jerky, baby oil, Raquel Welch wigs, Victoria's Secret makeup and the discount racks at Cache. They are VILE. This franchise has been as vulgar and low-rent as can be (thanks, Kathy, for introducing the world to your drool spot of a husband) but it's amazing that the producers found two squeaky voiced twunts who believably show a world where, yeah, one of their husbands maybe fucked their wizened mommy, where they scratched at and yanked hair out of someone's head for some stupid bullshit (Ashleigheyee or however the fuck she spells her name is so 2009 now), and where their version of soul food cooking involves esoteric, culturally-specific items like peppers and olive oil. They are wretched. I sympathize in a broad sense with Jacqueline; everyone wants their babies to be healthy, full stop. But, my God. She is the worst. (Okay, everyone is the worst in her own unique way). Probably the actual worst. I completely agree that after showing her enormous ass as a truly terrible parent - and yes, of course Teresa G. is a heinous parent in every way, but that does nothing to make anyone else look better - to Assley, after being the cuntiest SIL and friend ever to every single woman on the cast, she has used her vulnerable son to attempt to rehab her image as a warrior against autism, and I find that so vile I can't even find words for it. This is a MMV thing, but in my heart, I personally do not find the 'raising awareness' argument to pass muster. The deserved controversy that liarface Jenny McCarthy's Oprah appearances and "The View" tenure produced, the success of Autism Speaks as a national charity with the rare unified support of 'liberal' and 'conservative' celebrities alike, the discrediting of the fraudulent Andrew Wakefield study - there are a lot of different avenues that have raised awareness. A shady fuck of a Housewife who product-places BLKWATER within reach of her autistic son and mousses his hair to look like a duck's bum and stages her TH's so that we can see her four-foot-wide neck cry (that's not stress, and it's not new - Jacqueline has had the neck of an NFL left tackle since episode 1, season 1) and see her try to squeeze tears out of her Easter Island face - that to me does not raiseawareness of what Nick will be coping with at least in the near future. It raises awareness of how delusional Jacqueline sees herself as some kind of martyred heroine. TL; DR. Jacqueline has always designed herself to be trapped in forces beyond her control: she was trapped between Dinyell and Caroline! Between Dinyell and Dina! Between Ashleigheeie and her real kids (you know it's true)! Between Teresa and everyone else! Between what a mirror showed her and a seductive pile of injectibles! She has always been scarily unstable, emotionally labile and just fucknuts crazy. She has no emotional self-control, never did - well before Nick's birth, when she was pitting Dinyell against her family and vice-versa, and well before Nick's diagnosis -- she says she saw regression around 18 months, and before that, she was washing her hands of her troubled daughter and deliberately turning a giant, fucking tacky cross to camera during her big crying scene. Her Twitter documents her deep thirst for drama and her inability to separate reality from whatever Looney Tunes loop plays in her enormous head. I feel so much for her children. Even in her edited scenes, she's always seemed on the cusp of a giant, teary meltdown when Nick struggles. There is nothing 'educational' about that. I wish the Giudices were off the show for many reasons but now it's because I'm so weary of the arguments about using them as a corny-assed teachable moment about What Not To Do. It's a tragic situation for their children. Kathy, take your Gonzo lookalike overstuffed self with 'your' prefabricated desserts (every single 'Italian' specialty her trifling, horfing ass has presented has the very specific plastic sheen that you recognize in every dessert display case of every single deli in the tristate area) go away and never, ever come back. How marvelous that all of that hard work is getting you a 1%'s property - how realistic, for a hairdresser rumored to be extended out of the giant eyeballs and her gas-station franchise owning but bill-evading slug husband, to upgrade in a still down economy to a giant house. No house of cards there! Kathy is the good one, the nice one, the victim -- that's why she, like the deservedly hated Melissa, showed up with her Frankenstein's monster of a sister to be Kathy The Giant-Assed Angel, when her relationship was at a nadir with the show's star (even if a world in which Teresa Giudice is a reality star is a terrible world. Ours is a terrible world). Kathy works really super hard, but don't take my word for it, take Kathy's! She's a savior of unattended children and she only screams about people being 'fucking bitches' when she thinks closed doors turn off mic packs, and of course she's always supported her gay sister...sort of! Don't all saints self-canonize?

I'm not sure what to think about the casting -- Eileen Davidson could be interesting (I didn't watch her soaps; I did watch 'Santa Barbara' and 'Y&R' way, way back when...Robin Wright was Kelly. I think). I can't stand Lisa Rinna, thought she was a dopey, uppity and officious little asshole on Celebrity Apprentice, and think her cat's-anus mouth is something to be peeked at through a hole poked in a sheet of paper, like an eclipse. Plus, she's friends with Kyle and Faye, so: gross. What makes me hopeful about the new season is that it isn't Brandi-focused, but for another reason - I'm so over all of the conversation being about her, and for her being treated as the fulcrum for every bad thing that has happened, will happen, or conceivably could ever happen 1,000 years from now on RHOBH. Over that shit. She's got her flaws but I see all of these famewhores with a mean-assed gimlet eye. No one was her victim, no more than she was theirs -- particularly if indeed Joyce is gone, because Joyce could've actually made a case about why Brandi should be tossed into a volcano. But Kim, Kyle, Lisa, Yolanda? Sit down, fools. And the idea that Kim "Crack Isn't So Whack, Guys!" Richards is going to confront shumone about her drinking problemsh or her issuesh with drugsh and that leads to conflict with Brandi: girl, bye. No. No, no, no, Kim. Sit your twitchy ass down and get your chips (....assuming you are actually sober. Which I'm not assuming at all) and get your fucking act together and stop making me whip my head away when your crazy, nervous, crazy, delusional and oh yes, crazy, ass is on screen, please and thank you. I'm actually shocked at PamDana's story upthread. Damn. Whoever wrote that she and Taylor were attracted to each other, grifter to grifter: dead-on. How lovely that Taylor will be back! Now that she's put her Twizzler lips around her now-legitimate lawyer hubby's schlong long enough to get him away from his wife and kids and down the aisle with her, it will be quite marvelous to see her try to control her mouth and her drinking and her Gollum personality on screen again.

Maybe the white eyeliner was only part of the problem with Tamra's appearance - her pupils did look weird in certain scenes and TH's. Anyway. Though she's only 47, Tamra seems so tragically '80s/early '90s-trapped-and-tacky, so quick to rages and mercurial, that her being a fucked-up cokehead would surprise me not at all.

The usually witless TMZ captioned Sonja's video as 'the straw that slurred the drink.' Slow clap, TMZ. Um. Wellll...personally, I don't see the point of compare/contrast in terms of Miss Morgan's ratchet, messy self and Brandi's ratchet, messy self: it's not zero-sum, they BOTH win! Sonja's crew seems really shady and yucky - though the man she kissed at least recognized what was going on when he asked who was filming. It's tough because I love a broad who can have fun but Sonja seems equally Brandi-like to me, like a nightmare - what I think is likely is that you'd be in the bathroom at an event and one or both of them would ask you for coke or Adderall and if you weren't, you know, carrying or a dealer, they'd curse you out, or that they'd both try to rub your date/boyfriend's/husband's crotch in your presence (wait: to be fair, I only think that of Sonja), or that either would vomit on your shoes on the dance floor and maybe say sorry, and maybe not. I will assume - as I do for Brandi in re her kids - that Sonja didn't have custody of her daughter that night, that she keeps it together when her kid is actually with her. Fingers crossed.

Right - just as Siriano's skirt had no similiarity at all to Kini's umbrella skirt. Sean created a one-time-only, environmentally designed/triggered pleated white dress. The cheese stands alone, and I think conceptually that Sean - who has basically done everything he can to call Kini a dressmaker, and he may not be wrong - has lifted quite a bit if subconsciously with his not-that-avant-garde avant garde design.

I liked Sean's when Alexander McQueen made it: http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=9&ved=0CDUQtwIwCA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DreK0A1XIjKA&ei=e14SVNu4Go2iyAThj4L4CQ&usg=AFQjCNFVs_oVnVsHcz8ICQSvGDSMRDZJoQ&sig2=G9BreIcOesLnQJBr2nyEkA&bvm=bv.75097201,d.aWw There were several McQueen references, but Sean probably saw the inspiration most recently - if he's in NYC, he saw the McQueen show at the Met, whereas Kini and Emily probably didn't. The video of Shalom Harlow getting painted in a pleated, summery, all-white dress was recirculated heavily after that exhibit. Dammit. I was so hoping it would be Emily. Emily and Korina's were godawful.

I can't bear Alex but...psst...sister friend, reconsider that highlighter cream around the ol' eye sockets. I missed the first part of this: holy shit, the Vicki screeching. I think next season, the other Hos need to travel with rank sweat socks and duct tape, and shove the socks in and tape her maw shut when she starts up. It's intolerable. She needs to shut the fuck up, now and forever.

I can see what Brooks proposed as making sense but only if he and Vicki were each completely different people: Brooks recently, apparently, has a shady work history, no roots, a history of dodging his single most important financial responsibility (child support, where he got to the point of arrest), and was likely cheating (I doubt very much Vicki was able to find someone else to see, and back on TWoP, someone posted bits from the toofless one's FB account where he and some presumably legally blind, young women were posting sexxay messages to one another.) This is not someone who can be trusted at all. On the other hand, Vicki: she lied about 'spousal support' when the truth was 'Donn was entitled by law to recoup his investment in my MLM insurance business,' and she has tried again and again to buy love (the fur 'from Brooks,' the years of tension with Jeana about what Jeana was required to do as a realtor, which showed that Vicki did not live in reality and thought she could collect rent in a storage-type space as easily as a true residential space, and the manipulations she put on her kids.) So I think that could work and be a bridge between two people who want to be together and not marry, and that it IS an expression of love to help the person you love find financial stability -- but Vicki and Brooks aren't those people. Big props to describing the steel-oats quality of Vicki's face. Ugh. Ten years of injections and bragging about the SoCal look and lifestyle...yeah, sign me up if I too can have the glamtastic beauty of a Vicki or a Tamra.

Keeping it real... http://www.cc.com/video-clips/67hgjb/chappelle-s-show-when-keeping-it-real-goes-wrong---brenda-johnson---uncensored ....can often go wrong. Luckily for me, I know to my marrow that Tamra Sue Waddle Barney Judge [insert subsequent names of 2-3 more saps] will never learn that lesson.

Personally I'll call Tamra every name I can think of all the livelong day, and pray for a Leap Year so I can tack on some more insults in a random February day. Nothing we have seen suggests that Tamra lacks the capacity or agency to rein in her behavior - her on the show behaviors, including WWHL appearances, suggest the opposite, as does the social media nonsense excerpted and shared here. She is a special breed of vile, and her ignorant, racist, misogynistic, self-pitying, patently dishonest, tearless scheming and cruelty are not exonerated IMO because she might benefit from therapy. Happy to agree to disagree. What I don't think is copacetic is for the suggestion to be posted that others - anyone else - has to take a knee and reflect on the wherefores of why we like/dislike any of these women. We're all allowed to self-monitor unless the actual mods say so, right?

Aww. I am sure Ramona is handling this with her characteristic grace and equanimity -- after all, she was sneering to Sonja during the reunion that LuAnn was 'jealous' because '[sonja] was on the show [as a full cast member.]' So personally I don't think she welcomed the demotion. I would be very surprised if she didn't think she was entitled to keep pushing back on what she'd share, and I agree with Persnickety1 that her attitude towards (satanic) Andy was obnoxious beyond belief, and hypocritical in terms of her glee at outing the way off camera stuff of others, particularly LuAnn's. If she were outright fired, I'd feel like it was good riddance to a horribly nasty person. SO happy that Aviva and her scumbag, wooden-toofed daddy are straight-up off of the show. Great decision. I think they (A+R) are very similar - grossly narcissistic, cruel jackasses. Getting rid of one at least is a step in the right direction.

No, I can't believe it. I love Joan. Not every single thing she said, but I love her, and her work ethic, support of charity and ability to endure and create are an inspiration forever.

Looking back at the last part of the seaon, I don't believe Tamra about fuck/shag and that game for a basic reason: when they all arrived in Bali, Tamra was her typical overbearing chatty narcissistic self, and was not freezing out Lizzie and Danielle and bitching about the game. AFTER Lizzie complained about the rudeness surrounding her birthday party, and AFTER Tamra's behind the back bullshit was exposed, THEN Lizzie became the enemy and had to be annihilated for the remainder of the trip (this is when Tamra seems to have told Vicki), over Vicki's dinner and during the reunion. Not before. Hm. Tamra talks to lie. And she texts to be Mommy of the Year. She is absolutely contemptible and without redemption. I don't think she loves her kids in the way we typically define loving.

Persnickety1: awesome! That place of appearance-based vanity is the only place where Tamra lives. I think she knows she's a bad mother, a bad friend, and a bad bet for a wife; we know she isn't into running her business or volunteering or reading something not called Radar Online. All she values are looks (and money, I assume, but she is not going to Sonja Morgan her way into that) so it gladdens my mean self that she can see how her vitriol has destroyed her looks. Well, the vitriol got an assist from Terry Dubrow and others.

This is so perfect IMO. Seriously, Tamra is practically in a DINK situation with Eddie since presumably Simon works, too -- she can't kick any $$ to keep her mom (who raised Ryan, probably against her own will, when Tamra danced off to bang and marry Simon) from working on leaks?? That is bananas. I agree that Tamra did some concerted crap to try and pull the shine off of Lizzie's dinner party - it was going to be a nice event until Tamra decided to destroy it. She must have burned more calories than in any C*** 30-minute class (I have never gone to a gym that gave 30 minute classes, but hey) running her ass around to start and put out fires on Lizzie's balcony. My own theory is that Tamra felt unease around Lizzie almost immediately - she was focused instantly on Lizzie's chest, on Eddie remembering Lizzie from seeing her during exercise classes. Tamra dragging Lizzie's toddler like that is so disgusting. It's just unforgivable. I know Simon is not a great man but honestly, I can't imagine he's not a better custodial parent than his hellish ex who wants to fight with her kids on social media, who gave up a kid for a man, and who wants to have her kids film despite an acrimonious divorce and custodial situation.

Let me start the begging: essexjan, don't you think Bride of Chucky Waddle-Barney-Judge should have the benefit of getting that visual Tweeted @ her? Or some other hero/ine here can do the honors? I don't Tweet or I'd gladly, gladly send that beauty Tammy Sue's way. I missed parts here and there of part 1 and am now all caught up (mods I promise I won't go off topic) but now having watched both parts in full, it's a little shocking how obsessed Tamra was with Lizzie during the reunion. I think it's a little worse than the way Tamra was with Gretchen during their first couple of reunions. It started at second 1, minute of part 1 - you see Tamra absolutely glowering at her, sitting rigidly and looking mean beyond description. I do wish Lizzie hadn't cried during part 2 but I can understand it. Lizzie's got actual feelings, emotions, and she's got someone on her with just no soul. ETA - Mrs. Shannon Beador handled her first reunion like a boss. Delicate, oversheltered victim my ass! I did enjoy Zaldamo WIlder's 'Beador, boom-ba-yay!' That's right. And yeah, she may sink like a stone next season, or the one after, and she may not come back. But damn if she wasn't en pointe like a prima ballerina throughout this fuckery. And she delivered her KO just with remarking that a smaller house with a better view would be better for her. Edith Wharton couldn't have done better to put the Halloween Cleopatra wig in its place.

I'm no Terry Dubrow (so your bodies are safe from my particular brand of hatchet job), but I wouldn't be surprised if after a second reduction, Lizzie had some kind of implant in to lift the breast. She's written that she will get a third surgery when she's done with kids. Maybe it's less crazy than Tamra's accusation reads. I also - I mean, this is info from Tamra "I DON'T LIE! Sorry Shannon, I lied! I can't hide it because you already know!' Judge. So I am a little skeptical. But I do flove that Tamra is so conversant in the cc's of implants and expects all Bravo readers to be in the same boat: she's as narcissistic as Vicki; neither of them in a literal, processing kind of sense, can understand a woman who does not share the exact same interests, aesthetic preferences or principles (meaning, the total lack thereof) . I'm not hating people knowing about medical implants in general, but it's so damned telling with Tamra. She can deny getting her face shot to shit over the season, but you know if she was unguarded, she would have written, 'You know how it is when you get 3 syringes of Restalyne but they don't take and then the Botox gives you bumps...' She is fighting aging tooth and claw and aging has it's knee in her crepey back and is rubbing her bunny lines into the dirt. Good.

Thanks for posting Tamra's blog, Persnickety1. Tamra is a sick, sick woman. Lizzie: get a restraining order. It's shades of Gretchen - a younger and better-looking (to some. Maybe to many) woman becomes a new castmate, and Tamra's rage and desire to destroy her perceived competition rears up. I didn't realize having nightly sobfests made you withered, shrank your eyes into pinpricks, squared off the jaw even more and froze the forehead. Damn you, tears! Damn you to hell! Wait, I forgot, Tamra can't cry. She also can't feel. I would bet one of my non-Kentucky-bred, non-fried titties that she does not give a fuck about her kids, not in a real way. The point is for Simon to not win. Once you start abandoning offspring to hop on the next dick with a job or deed to a house, it's about that time to stop dry-crying about how hard it is to be a good mommy. I feel actual sadness for the wee girl that Tamra's not-quite daughter in law is carrying. That poor baby. Unstable mother with access to weapons, shiftless, angry, perenially unemployed, drug-seeking dope of a father, and a rageaholic vile narcissist of a grandmother - and no other grandparents. Not good. Personally, I don't buy that Alex McCord has any more inside dirt on any of these shows (let alone OC) than I have, sitting across the country and dutifully analyzing this bunch of maroons while I eat cheese, crackers and the occasional guilt-vegetable.

Tamra's just one miserable c***. I wish I could elaborate - but instead let me count the ways she looks 60 years old: feet, forehead, knees, extensions....

No probs, I'll leave the ranting to those who do it early and often!