Midnight Cheese

Ben and Ronnie of the Watch What Crappens podcast pointed out that Tins actually got a lovely send-off. Past Hos got snark and ugly pictures for their last on-screen hurrah. I’m guessing that the producers liked her, that her good manners and lightness in terms of being consistently polite and considerate led to that. They all screw up, but Sonja’s diapers and size tags and pock-marked with mold accessories are always on screen, and even emphasized. Same with Dorinda having food on her lip in almost every restaurant scene. I think the producers can’t make a mean person nice, but can show in the edit who is a nasty human, and who is good to be around. Just a theory!

Tinsley indicates she told Leah at the time that Dorinda was lying and painting herself as a victim. So it’s now Tins and Leah against Dorinda...and “everybody” who hates her because her viciousness has been televised. If Bruce Wasn’t Real is a fair game, Dorinda Lied To Be A Victim sure is too. Shame on her, she’s disgusting, and she’s a sad little chickenshit as well. Let’s just insert Dorinda’s super wacky, fun-loving skeleton dance here. 😜 I used to love her but her hold on reality seems pretty slippery. She’s not trustworthy.

I hope this is in the right place because this has Andy, Leah and Tins discussing the last ep. Of note for me: - Dorinda flat-out lied to her followers and accused Tins of blocking her, when she, Dorinda, had blocked Tins after viewer blowback after she bullied Tins at the orchard. Cowardly bitch! - she’s really only friends with Leah (she seems fine with it) and ONLY Ramona and Lu have reached out to her. Fuck Sonja and the myth of her “niceness.” This is who she is, a greasy, grifting, disingenuous skank, exhibit 5,987,120,001. I hope the drop-shipping con takes the rest of her meager coins stat. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=w_u8E4jBFbI

Smoke and mirrors even at her best. (I fully admit I loathe her). She has the most awful breast implants, belly lipo scars, and has a bunch of tells for coke and Adderall. I’m sure if she had more money Sonja would be lipoing again, using HGH, and doing more coke to try for thinness. Sonja’s weight maintenance habits are more dated than the fashion show in Don’t Tell Mom The Babysitter’s Dead.

I’m not trying to be grossly naive but I don’t think it’s just the wallet. I think it’s that he built his own success. Further, looks wise, Scott and her ex-husband Topper look a hell of a lot alike to me.

(Accidental double-post)

From your lips. Sonja is a fucking monster. She essentially said she would be there when the relationship ended; she’s salivating for it to end, to grind Tinsley down some more. Dale and Sonja are both emotionally abusive parasites, and Tinsley is better than both in every way. She’s never played this up but her being a varsity tennis player at Columbia after a gap year at Habitat for Humanity so she could transfer, getting her BA and doing a stint however it came about at Vogue, the lines at Samantha Thavasa, Bed Bath & Beyond, lash line and the half-dozen at minimum other design collaborations are each real, each move is more serious and substantive, and each effort is or was more successful than anything Sonja’s done. Even including Century 21, and I loved treasure hunting in the downtown one so much, well, at least I did around 10 years ago. It’s slipped (as we can see). I digress! I suppose I’m in my feelings this fine day but Dorinda’s baster comment and the cowardice of Ramona and LuAnn and banal basic bitch jealousy of Sonja, is all heartbreaking even when one considers the vile, washed-up, dysfunctional and functional alcoholic sources. Dorinda’s sneer was/is up there with Naked Wasted and the Mexican slurs on Dallas. There is no coming back from it ever. Ever. Given the reality of sheltering in place more or less for a lot of the summer in the city, I know I will still watch, and I did appreciate Leah’s presence and vibe this episode. (I agree she pines for Rob. They make a nice family together, but when things end, one has to move on.) But I don’t see how I can watch Dorinda and Sonja in the future. I wish them the worst but I have no doubt they’re furiously at work every day until the bitter end to have very damaged, stressful, miserable lives for themselves. I do think I’d have to be out for the next season if they aren’t fired. I can follow Sonja’s future evictions and DUI’s and pants-shitting on public conveyances and tazing by a federal Marshall on Page Six or something. Dorinda may be in an even worse state, though she’ll keep a roof over her head without stealing from her daughter...

Sonja cannot carry off the pleather turtleneck and pajama jeans.

Sonja is a pathetic fucking bitch. Even I’m shocked. Damn.

I hate Sonja and I’m glad her stupidity and arrogance will continue kicking her in the face for the rest of her life. She cannot ever improve on her wretched character. Her response on “how to be heard” is from the “moderate” supremacist playbook. She is disgusting.

The boys of Watch What Crappens noted in their podcast recap that Sonja rubs the hell out of her nose after her bathroom trip at dinner, like the cokehead (coke was no doubt paid for by John or Dorinda; they’re liquid, she isn’t) she is. Maybe that’s why she was such a stank ugly bitch during that scene. I’m old enough to remember when Sonja tried to expose Dorinda’s coke use with the air that she, Sonja, had never tried anything stronger than a latte. She’s a despicable hypocrite and so NOT nice. You KNOW she shat on lots of “little people,” or people in that nasty circle of “elites” who she perceived as less “important” than Morgan. I’m sure there are people Sonja’s burned who set their DVRs to see her there-is-no-bottom freefall. Good!

She is jealous as hell. Let’s just tell it true. Sonja is busted and broke as a joke.

How can we find out when Mr. Struggle Hairline and Gout aka Mr. National Security 2019 (oh, what was it, CORTLAND? Your name is as garbage as your cream cheese face, sweetie) got married to the luckiest woman on Earth? He has the look of erectile dysfunction all over him. That is not a catch! Do these assholes need to slap on their readers when they troll for grade-Z dick? SONJA YOU HAVE BEEN ARRESTED AND ARE A FRAUD. ALSO THE EDITORS HATE YOU and how I know is they thought you’d be embarrased by having the tag on your pants visible, either because they want us to know you’d try to return them after wearing, or because you lie about your size during this season. They hate you. And so do I. (And your ex, who married your friend. So let’s add your friend to the list. And your customers. And your creditors.) Sonja and Ramona are blunts, minus the bl, throw in a c. The dinner party may have been filmed in Martian because what the fuck? But still.

I rewatched and didn’t see any tears on Leah’s face, but she was so obnoxious, entitled, disruptive, flinty and defensive. Just awful. Her dry-eyed performance made it worse, ultimately. Elyse said some facially reasonable things - and has a spot-on Dorinda impersonation tucked into one of her dozen Canadian tuxedo pockets - but she is IMO a much more awkward fit than Barbara with this crew. She doesn’t seem funny and she seems very worried about how she comes across, which is interesting or funny if you see the coverage she’s received in Page 6. And I’m sorrrrrey (Ben Mandelker’s Ramona voice) but her style is terrible! That 90s prom dress in her confessionals! She’s shacked up with some bigly criminal financiers, why am I seeing Mandees on my tv? There is nothing interesting about LuAnn as a cast mate - again just IMO. I don’t find her funny or charming and I’d wish she’d shut the fuck up about Dimsdale’s voice, with her bitchy baritone and Jovani and fuck marry kill inanity. So boring. Chick is boring. I don’t want to see Ramona lose bowel control next week and I wish Leah wasn’t already sharing that publicly. So unnecessary. I also think Avery needs to check herself if she’s making slick tweets, however justified she feels. I’d hope all the wives not named Zolciak-Biermann would do everything possible to keep their kids, including their grown kids, from making any comment ever in public about this kind of crap.. It is perhaps hardest to watch Dorinda thinking she’s slick with her treatment of Tinsley and her eagerness to see Leah detonate. It’s pathetic and though now expected, is still disappointing. Does Sonja know we don’t technically hibernate like bears, so that stuffing everyone’s lobster into herself won’t keep her full and satisfied unt 2021? Hm.

RIP, my like of Leah. Ugh. Sonja’s constant, gleeful insults at and to Tinsley, repeatedly calling her names and a baby, are so cruel. She is evil and disgusting. And she must be starving when they aren’t filming because good grief, she is more focused on food than a pack of Golden Retrievers. She may not know there’s some stuff you just can’t ask of Spanx or a liposuction cannula. I imagine Morgan’s actual wife having a Zoom viewing party with friends of this mess and laughing. I would, but this is depressing.

Leah and her sister are beautiful. Leah needs to love herself much more- a man trying to send your erotic (hey I LOVE flatbreads) picture to a friend of his is not a gentleman who made a mistake. He’s worthless and needs to be ghosted, end of. LuAnn is a dumb dim snob. Nice body, great hair, attractive, and dull. I’ve been anti-Ramona from jump but she’s one of the better cast members for me at the moment. Tins needed a less orange foundation. You can feel her slipping away during her scenes, and who could blame her? She’s present but absent. Again, who can fault her for armoring herself - staying in a robe with a ton of heavy jewelry and smiling and saying almost nothing - after the cruel, vile, vicious things casually shot at her unnecessarily and in every prior episode? Elyse is dull and her Page 6 file suggests she’s a fucking criminal who fucked a bunch of criminals. Boring. Brunette is not a personality. She’s as shallow, stupid, inane and tight-faced as anyone on this kind of show. I resent ever liking anything about Dorinda. She’s dangerous to people around her and so is her pathetic flying monkey, Sonja. Sonja, you’re an older, fatter (not sorry), Gretchen Weiners. Or Grandpa Munster. Either one. Soooo see you all here next week, right? (Sigh.)

Unbelievable. I don’t understand what’s inside Dorinda’s head at all. Besides maybe two bottles of Sauvignon Blanc and some coke. What the fuckitty is wrong with her. The intensity of her bullying snotty shit is making me hate her.

Tinsley did use her words. She did. She was patronized and treated horribly first by Dorinda and then by Sonja, and then by the rest going along with comforting Dorinda to get along. It’s abusive and lying and it’s literally what was shown. Tins screamed seeing Sonja and Leah drop trou and whizz in the cornfield like two on the cusp recruits of a frat. I’d probably have done the same, but I’d not have been able to give them tissue, as I never have the thing I need in my purse when I actually need it. Regarding real estate: Heather’s Manhattan home wasn’t ever on the show, because she lives in a very nice coop on the UWS and the board wouldn’t allow filming. So I have no idea how her never-shown apartment would make anyone think less of her, lulz. Her husband worked for a hedge and Heather had one of the few real-deal, actually successful businesses on any Bravo show ever, so. And that’s objective reality. More Martin the boxer. I love his scenes and his Little Stevie bandanna and the fact that you can see Tins the college jock cutting up with him. He gets her name wrong? No biggie. In lots of these small moments, you can see pretty clearly that Tins has better manners and humor than most of her compatriots.

During the latest Watch What Crappens podcast (hilarious, as always), Ronnie mentioned that courtesy of FB aka his favorite housewife “Soshall Medea,” he learned a little about our new friend-of, Elyse. He described some articles about her being on the NY Post - here’s most of what I saw. (Spoiler alert: monster ahead). https://nypost.com/2014/11/02/protesters-mob-park-ave-apartment-after-nanny-debacle/ https://pagesix.com/2012/01/26/surprise-courtroom-star/?_ga=2.148475127.1585112210.1589035705-763760043.1589035705 https://pagesix.com/2014/03/13/elyse-slaine-gets-park-ave-pad-in-split-with-donald-drapkin/?_ga=2.144369909.1585112210.1589035705-763760043.1589035705 https://nypost.com/2017/03/01/late-hedge-fund-honchos-ex-gal-pal-battling-his-kids-over-park-avenue-pad/

She’s so tall she can usually get away with large-scale prints and multiple pieces of large jewelry but this is tacky IMO. However! The photo brings me to reconsider yet again the wisdom in the tweaks. I feel like scum typing this but, Lu’s taut face relative to some of the slackening I’ve now noticed in her neck and body skin is just like arrows and highlighters showing one of those things is not like the others. Of course Lu is extremely attractive and fit but maybe leaving her face totally alone would be best? However however again: I turn again on my own opinion because ShelterInPlaceMania 2020 led me to watching the hos of Beverly for the first in the longest time and what in the holy hell is going on with Sutton? Is it “nothing,” and now my eyes and soul are both so Bravo-broken that I can’t get used to a totally natural Housewife? Perhaps.

I hear you; I totally line-draw between Sonja and Tinsley. For sure some of it is because Tins isn’t malicious. For me, though, Tins is like a Tennessee Williams protagonist, and while the reverence and glossing over the past is maddening, it’s sad, and she is truly the only person harmed. (Fuck every Fanjul forever.) Sonja is a huge bitch, not only to Tinsley but to so very many others during her tenure, she lies so very much, and she invariably punches down. She’s a coward and a thief. But I see what you’re saying. (Also what’s wrong with hoops? Asking for a friend...)

Dorinda was clearly referencing the Mao clothing collection by Chinese-American designer Vivianne Tam, which was controversial and led to a lot of debate at the time, and which also was viewed by many as a critique of Mao’s regime and the party’s use of cult of personality. I was in school and my Chinese-American roomie got and wore a tee, as did some of the members of the Chinese Student Club. Their feeling was that Tam’s prints — which riffed on and amplified the ridicule of Mao by Warhol, who added lipstick and earrings to his ubiquitous image — mocked and rendered this cruel and oppressive man as foul and small, and was commentary on him, not his victims. She’s not making fun of mass murder or saying it’s cool. I’d argue it’s nowhere near repeatedly slurring a castmate for being Mexican. ETA: sorry, what Elsie and Film Noire said!!

Not all fairy tales come true! I can hear Sonja screaming HE WAS SUPPOSED TO CROAK DURING OUR MARRIAGE! as an intern reads your comment to her....

Hilarious episode. Leah is a surprisingly great addition to the show. It seems she and the Tins have good chemistry, and Leah doesnt strike me as at all mean or shady so I think Tins can actually breathe around her and trust her, unlike the dynamic with the bitchassed Carole or Beth. I think Leah is actually decent on the inside. I think I hope, etc etc. Also! Totally Bethenny, Who? I don’t miss what she brought to the show at all. Can’t stand her in her entirety, but I worry about Sonja’s liver. And I wish Dorinda would see a real therapist for extensive help to give herself peace and either end it with John or to grow in any way and accept him more wholly.

I promise it’s not Leah or Tins here, posting from the upper level. I didn’t write that they did this in some kind of premeditated act of vengeance for cleaning up for their bitchy host, or in memoriam for the tile floor in Cartagena that Ramona sprayed with her shit and pretended to feel ashamed about, or Kristen’s post-wine glass lip and face in the Berkshires or Dorinda’s damaged walls. Ramoana has broken glasses on the show too, so she needs refreshing on no-glass policies which I personally agree with (but she may not.) Ramona happened to win a stupid prize this one time. Of course it’s dreadful and stressful...can’t wait!