ZeeEnnui

Wow, drugs not only fry brains, but they also fry hair. This season of Survivor is brought to you by 9-1-1. Are they going to have to change the tagline to "Outwit. Outplay. Outlast Outlive?" If contestants keep dropping like this that medic may have to tag in and play the game. Glad to know that the Shot in the Dark isn't a complete scam (still dumb). It took how many seasons for it to matter?

YES. Boo hoo, you lost. It's. A. GAME. This reunion left a really bad taste in my mouth (and no, it wasn't Andy Cohen's grating presence). Andie and Quentin can take all the seats. I could understand if this was the year 2000, and reality TV was a new phenomenon but you can't tell me you don't understand how these shows work. If you want to play happy campers then don't compete in a show called THE TRAITORS! Cirie played the role that she was given masterfully and now looks like she's ready for a Mai Tai on her very chic lanai. She won. Stop acting like she held your puppy hostage at gunpoint. Maybe it's because I played competitive sports growing up, but I don't get the bitter act. You play the game. Sometimes you win, and sometimes you lose. Deal with it. Perhaps this attitude is why I would for sure get a villain edit if I competed on this show. Shut up, Ari. He's so disingenuous. It's so ridiculous how everyone wrings their hands moralizing about the traitors. Sure, you're the "villain" of the game, but that doesn't make you a bad person. These people are way too in their feelings.

I'm all in on the DeeDee train (Tami Taylor 4eva!). It's funny before this show premiered I read a review and a critic that I quite like said that her performance was way too OTT, and it felt as though she was on another show. I couldn't disagree more with that. DeeDee is a lot, but she's self-aware enough to acknowledge that. Her journey feels very messy. She's dealing with the discovery that her life with her husband was a lie (didn't she say that she'd been with him since she was 17?!?) and is trying to clean up a financial dumpster fire. Frankly, I'm shocked she's only gone to town on the walls of her dining room. What I also like is that while she's very kind to everyone (who doesn't love a sympathy crepe?) she also has boundaries like when the pregnant girl asked her to go to the ultra-sound. It wasn't cruel but there is only so much someone who is also dealing with grief can give. Speaking of boundaries...pregnant girl could use a few. Cornering Edward in a dark kitchen like that was so inappropriate. The kid survived a terrible crash. He's not the second coming of Jesus. Back off. Glad the guy who just seems so supportive but is just "there" at the focus group got a subplot (because we needed yet another character to follow). I will never stop rolling my eyes if he ends up helping DeeDee to come to terms with her husband's secret life. Junkie fiancee can kick rocks. Just because someone apologizes does not mean they are owed forgiveness. That's the risk you take when you burn bridges. Her rage towards the brother is ridiculous. I love Lacey. That is all.

Welp. I definitely didn't have Uncle Daddy Incest on my show bingo card. I guess this show can surprise me (the bar is so low it's practically on the ground but still). I haven't read the books, so I don't know how things go down there, but you CANNOT tell me the show writers are not massive fans of the 80s cheese-fest Clash of the Titans. Courtland/Perseus getting turned to stone feels like fan service for xennials. More JoJo in season 2, please. I want to see her and Rowan's dynamic evolve now that they both know the truth. The most consistent thing about Rowan (besides her deer-in-headlights reactions to everything) is that she doesn't let no man tell her what to do. Had Daddario had better direction (or possibly an acting coach), I think this moment would have been really awesome. As much as I like, Cip, he always acts on the assumption that Rowan is being controlled by Lasher. I think that there is an element of that, but he's forgetting that Rowan is messy. It's a bit condescending honestly. Rowan, however much we bitch about her on these boards does have control over what she does, and I'd shoot a mind bolt of magic if some dude implied I didn't have agency in my own decisions too. Is Rowan going to turn evil or will good win out? We'll have to see but I'm rooting for anything that gives Rowan a personality in season two.

Yes! I'm so glad I'm not alone in watching another season of bathing suits and red flags (with a bonus bunny boiler thrown in. I'm looking at you, Olivia).

When this first started I worried that I might be bored because the challenges were so similar to the U.S. version. As much as I enjoyed that one, I think the UK show ended up a more entertaining watch. This show was just so messy compared to the U.S. version. Putting reality stars into the other show added a layer of control and artifice that this show just didn't have so it could be raw, full of dramatic, kooky (looking at you, Maddie) and wildly terrible people instincts. Celebrities also tip the scales, because they understand how "reality" works, but when you put regular people into a game like this, it's more exciting to see what happens. Tom the magician losing his ever-loving "rabbit in a hat" mind when his secret girlfriend was targeted. Gold. Maddie as an addle-brained Columbo wannabe who couldn't connect a dot to save her life except when it came to Wilf. Hilarious. It's moments and contestants like this that made this show so incredibly entertaining. The ending was a chef's kiss for me. I LOATHED Wilf throughout the show. He was just so over-the-top and punchable. I could not understand how so few people didn't find him at all suspicious. I sprained a cornea rolling my eyes at Wilf's hyppocritcal justifications for why he had to sell his fellow traitors out. You were ruthless. Own it. It's a game. I hate when people try to be all noble about being a snake. I would not have been unhappy if Kieran had won, but I love that he was able to screw over Wilf in the end. I would 100% drink cocktails and wear killer sweaters with Claudia Winkelman and Alan Cumming. One moment that really rubbed me the wrong way, was the early episode when Aaron had a panic attack at the banishment ceremony. Sure, to some it seemed dramatic, but it struck me that Aaron seemed like he might suffer from anxiety and the voting was too much for him. I really disliked how nasty John was to him later. John seemed to have a chip on his shoulder about the past. No doubt as an older gay man, John has experienced his fair share of discrimination. Telling Imran that the comment about old people hurt his feelings was a moment where you saw that John had no problem standing up for himself, and being honest about his feelings. I loved that John wasn't afraid to call people out, and be honest about how a careless comment made him feel. That's why when John lashed out at Aaron for the panic attack, it felt so ugly. The impatience and lack of empathy was really jarring. In the end, I'm glad Aaron won some money. He seemed like a sweet, kind of awkward, puppy-like kind of guy who just wanted to help out his mum. Next up: Traitors: Australia!

You know, I've been defending Alexandra Daddario's acting because I've seen her be better than whatever this is, but....I think what this series has shown me is that a good director is everything. Girlfriend needs a good director because that scene with Sip was just YIKES. I understand not wanting to be stuck for the rest of your life with Disco Demon, but it's not going to be that easy for Rowan to lose Lasher. Sorry, cousin Tessa! This won't end well for you (as anyone who has watched a TV show could tell you). Now that we know the origin of Lasher and the Claire's President's Day Sale Key Necklace does this mean we're finally finished with these Notlander flashback scenes? I've heard enough of whatever they think Scottish people sounded like back in the day, thank ye very much.

I brought this up last week, but I'd really love to know how SMG and the Super Special Fire Investigations Team knows with absolute certainty that the arsonist was not only a high school student but on that specific bus with Everett and Blake? I know that I'm asking a lot from a sexy teen werewolf show, but throw us a logic bone, show. Also, it's insane that the station wasn't packed with lawyers sent by angry parents whose minor children were rounded up and questioned without a parent or guardian present. All abusive cop was missing was a mustache to twirl and a train track to tie Harlan to. I mean, we all know police corruption is rampant but that was some cartoonish shit. I don't know if it was just me but I got a real sexual aggressive almost rejected vibe from the bad cop. Like, he wanted to hurt Harlan specifically. The whole situation was weird.

I find it strange. I couldn't stop talking about Interview to my friends. I read the books when I was in junior high, and was unfamiliar with Mayfair Witches book series. Everyone I know that watched Interview was super into it. Must see watching. I truly don't get it. It's possible the changes bothered them, but if it's the gay thing. That was already present. Unless it was making Louis black, and changing the timeline? To me, that made so much sense and I thought was a brilliant update. Maybe, others didn't? This show can be good. It just needs to be in better hands.

Agreed. Carlotta is starring in a low-energy production of Flowers in the Attic, and Courtland is doing Tennessee Williams Dinner Theatre on a cruise ship. I would love to see the script notes given to the actors because the acting is wildly inconsistent. The star of this episode for me was the sick flapper outfit that Lasher styled for Rowan. As a horror movie nerd, this was just disappointing. There was such a missed opportunity to create this incredibly creepy fever dream all while building suspense over the course of the episode that builds to something shocking. Instead this deflated quicker than the Chinese spy balloon. I've been thinking this over a lot. If you compare Interview with the Vampire to Mayfair Witches. You have one adaptation that is dynamic while this show is inert. This obviously has everything to do with the showrunner. Damn, even Interview's after show was really interesting. But I think that was the difference. The Interview team not only understood the book but how to make necessary changes that would honor the original work, but modernize and improve upon it. They also embraced the horror and the camp aspects, which is why Interview was scary, thrilling, funny, and intense. All emotions that Mayfair is missing. I don't know if the producers behind this show are chained to the book series or they just lack the vision to let this show become its own thing. Honestly, it's not just the showrunners, it's the direction. All of these actors can act. I mean, Jack Huston was the tragic heart and soul of Boardwalk Empire. Imagine if they let him go wild the way that Sam Reid has with Lestat. Immediately, this show becomes more interesting (and dangerous). Alexandra Daddario has done good work in past projects, maybe spike her notes with Red Bull and lets see if she can put some energy into Rowan. Someone upthread mentioned Penny Dreadful. If any show needed Eva Green and her brand of fucking crazy, it is this show! I saw that Mayfair was renewed for a second season, and has inexplicably better viewing numbers than Interview (mind boggling). All I can say is, that if that's the case, AMC needs to consider firing the current showrunners and bringing in someone new because this show is like being stuck in Deirdre's magical coma-land week after week.

I think this show has potential. I'm definitely here for Harlan's brand of oh so pretty. Poor Everett's got a mommy dearest on his hands. Lady better watch out. A mean right hand is no match for a wolf claw. The Law + Order: Fire Unit subplot is really dragging. If you're going to have SMG on your show, then actually use her. Is this how the Federal Bureau of Flames operates by aggressively demanding handshakes (I thought we ended those post-pandemic) and trying to intimidate teenagers into narcing? How do they know that one of the kids on the bus was the arsonist? That would mean that they have proof, which means they have at least a suspect or two in mind? Unless someone was getting wild with the matches on the bus, then I'm not sure how anyone is going to be able to I.D. their classmate.

Yes to ALL of this! Everyone one of these things has been running through my head like Lasher in the assassins body but with less murder-y results. I think my biggest issue with the way that Rowan is written, and portrayed --sorry, Alexandra D'Addario, but you are better than whatever b.s. director's notes you were given. I've never read the books so I don't know what book Rowan is supposed to be like, but I'm going to take a wild guess here, and bet that Anne Rice didn't create a heroine that was this passive. Everything Rowan does is in reaction to what's happening to her, but as others here have pointed out, we're being told what Rowan is supposed to be but that's not how she's being portrayed onscreen. Rowan reacts the way that I do when I first wake up in the morning before I have my coffee - not fully functioning, maybe not entirely awake, and definitely slow to react. So Courtland is #TeamLasher (or maybe just #TeamSelfInterest). I don't understand why he didn't immediately try to play Cool Great Uncle with Rowan at the funeral. He's a lot more fun than Crazy Carlotta who will save your soul or burn the house down trying. I definitely have him at the top of my suspect list for Deirdre's murder. AMC, I am begging you. Please stop with these Inside the Episodes. We don't need the Cliff Notes on what we've just seen. It is really not that deep. Also, maybe take a page out of the HBO playbook, and if you're going to discuss the episode, talk with the cast and others involved with the production rather than the showrunner giving us a boring play-by-play rather than any valuable insight.

I mean, Andie and Quentin only have themselves to blame here. Cirie may be a great actress (give her a Daytime Emmy), but I have watched too many mysteries in my life, so if someone is like, "I love you, always remember that" I will immediately be suspicious of their motives. You're just about to get Fredoed, so grab that baggy of red light to throw on the fire. Like, I will never understand people that don't get that at the end of the day this is just a game. This isn't summer camp. This is a reality TV show. Please, spare me the sob story. Life changing amount of money? Not really after taxes. Like why is everyone braiding friendship bracelets?

I thought this was an awesome episode. FINALLY Kai has something to do besides feed everyone soup and pine after Kate. I'm here for Danger Kai, and his morally gray, possibly evil partnership with OG Davidson. Totally understand that Abby's crew was annoyed that she was suddenly unsure about Davidson being the shooter, but I thought they were kind of uncharacteristically butthurt about it. DAMN, people. Abby has been through IT, give her a break. Damn. The whole situation felt a little high school (or prairie schoolhouse) drama for me. I was kind of waiting for one of Abby's friends to make the connection that Shifty Davidson was practically Twinning with his brother, and being like, "gurl, now I get it..." Nope. Love Callian, but it felt like his subplot was shoehorned in.

I can't get over how bad the special effects to make Giancarlo Esposito look "young" are. It was distracting. His makeup looked only slightly better than the gangsters from the Dick Tracy movie from the 90s. Also anyone rocking that hard to Sugar Ray -- I don't care if you pulled off a heist, there is no excuse for that musical bs, Rufus Sewell's terrible wig! -- is a clear villain.

That sculpture was a ceramic cockblock. They did the room a favor but breaking that hideous thing. I watched the interview with Mike White after the episode. The way he talked about Tanya's storyline, I sort of got the sense that we're not finished with it. Maybe Greg will visit the next White Lotus as the "grieving" widower. Let's hope that once Portia realizes that Tanya died she'll alert the authorities. I mean, seriously! I would have gone right to the police (or the U.S. Embassy). But I guess buying a terrible hat and glasses to disguise Portia's obvious guilt about her inaction was way more important. And it looks like our dumb ass white knight got knocked off his horse. I'll give Albie the tiniest bit of credit for handling getting played with some maturity. But that scene with Dom where Albie's rich boy entitlement rears its ugly head was not a good look. His mom certainly deserves better than to have her son put in a good word for Dom just so he can get scammed by the worst hooker in Sicily. Who needs therapy when its Daphne's magic vagina that will cure your pathological jealousy. Is she available to solve world peace?

The lesson we learned tonight is USE YOUR WORDS, Tanya and Ethan. Unless you're Albie and then use the freaking translate app that comes with your iPhone! That blew my mind. The DiGrasso's lose their Prosti-translator, and decide to still visit the relatives that they've never met even though they can't speak the language. Crazy. Someone should have at least done a few sessions with Duolingo or at least said the name of Bert's mother. I think someone else mentioned this, but if Bert's mother was from the village then wouldn't she have a different name? Unless this is a kissing cousins situation, her last name is different. Tanya's advice to Portia was pretty good except way too vague. Don't want to mention what you saw the night before (again, this is why we knock). Cool. Then maybe start discussing families that are really close like the Lannisters or Targaryen's. Portia is slow on the uptake, but a pop culture might get through to her. Also, when you see multiple red flags. Don't collect them. GTFO. Seriously, Tanya was clearly so uncomfortable after what she saw. I'd go back to the White Lotus before Quentin came down for breakfast. Same with Portia. She was obviously increasingly uncomfortable, but didn't feel like she could leave her British fuck boi. I'd have said I was going to the ice machine, and left him at the hotel to sleep it off. Paging White Lotus HR. You've got another potential sexual harassment claim on your hands. Count me among those that don't think Harper slept with Cameron. She can't stand his smarmy ass. I think she knew that she could fuck with Ethan, and decided to get some payback. However, I don't think she realized that her husband may be freaking crazy so they may end up being that vacation couple on a Dateline special.

I vaguely remember in the first episode Lucia and Mia discussing someone named Alessio. I got the impression it was an ex-boyfriend as well. Lucia is not a good hooker. No set rates, no money upfront, and targeting the son of the man who booked her for the week and is allowing her and Mia to charge to his room and hang around the hotel. If I were Albie's dad, I would have told Valentina that Lucia and Mia were no longer his guests and to ban them from the hotel. Albie, Albie, Albie. Sweet summer child. He's no gone from nice guy to nice guy that is going to save the hooker with a heart of gold. [eye roll]. Stanford clearly is not sending their brightest students out into the world. Cameron is such a sleaze. It was good to finally see some fear. I don't love passive aggressive bullshit but can't blame Harper for making everyone squirm. Ethan is so cute, and so dull. At least, he got off a few good zingers at dinner with Cameron. It was that moment where you can see that he and Harper probably connected over a shared edge that has dulled over the years. The Valentina storyline is so cringe. I wish it wasn't a redux of the Armand plot line from season one. Maybe have Valentina fixate on this character for another reason that isn't a crush. The White Lotus hotel chain is seriously a five star HR headache starting with the front desk. Well, I didn't think that the hot Brit was Quentin's nephew (unless they have some Lannister/Targaryen blood in the family tree) but didn't expect that. Tanya, this is why we knock. I find it very hard to believe that a resort as exclusive at The White Lotus does not have a backup lounge lizard. It's not like Mia's piano fling worked seven days a week. Most good hotels have different entertainers to keep people from falling asleep before their gnocchi is served. Theory - the bodies found at the hotel are that of Cameron, Albie, Dom, and Lucia. All slept with Lucia, and were all killed out of jealousy by Alessio. Lucia did worry something bad would happen because of her sex work.

Seriously. I feel like Peter Morgan is polishing Charles' crown jewels in the hopes of receiving a knighthood. Whinge more, Chuck and Cam [eye roll]

Yeah, I have a lot of thoughts about this. I think you're onto something here. Maybe, it's Ethan who's been bi-curious and said something to Cameron in the past, and he's using this as a piece of blackmail to keep him in line. I also went to a heavily Greek state school, and there was a lot of very questionable homoerotic shit said (and done in some cases) by frat boys. A lot of times it wasn't so much about them exploring their sexuality (at least not that they'd admit) but it was about exerting a weird control. One of the many reasons, I stayed clear of the entire Greek system much to my grandmother's endless disappointment that I wouldn't pledge to Kappa Kappa Karen. To me Cameron is very manipulative, it's not about sex for him. I think his fluidity comes not from sex but from situational control. I could see him seducing someone to get at their money. Whether he and Ethan had a dorm room fling or something else happened, it's very clear that this is a charged button he's pushing. Count me in with everyone else annoyed by Harper's passive aggressive silence. I understand the initial shock. I might also go blank if I discovered a condom wrapper in the sofa. But, after that. Gloves are off, and I'm throwing that Trojan package in Ethan's face. This won't end well. Also, Ethan....Harper is clearly upset. You know something is very wrong. Do NOT open the door. Let Cameron knock. It's good to know that Wet Seal rejects from the 1995 collection have been resurrected and transferred to Portia's suitcase. I get why Portia hooked up with the British Douche-Bro. He's hot, and the sort of person that you want to hook up with on vacation. You get your passport stamped, and then move onto your next adventure. Not saying you can't meet someone that you can really connect with on vacation, but that's typically not the goal (especially in your 20s). Albie is a nice guy -- it remains to be seen if he's one of those nice guys though -- and it was a dick move for Portia to ask him to hangout when she knows that he he's probably stalking her Instagram page. It was painfully awkward for him to approach her at the beach club, which was both weirdly territorial but also understandable because they were supposed to hangout. It was also so lame that Portia was trying to make him jealous. Girl, he already is, just shag your douchey Brit. I really hope that Albie doesn't discover that he and his father are now Eskimo brothers. At the end of the day, I remember what it was like to be in my early 20s and navigating dating and sex. As a woman, I felt bad if I had a nice guy like Albie that I wasn't into, and I didn't want to be a total bitch to him. I didn't have the confidence or life experience yet to be direct about how I felt or wanted. As for Albie, yes, Portia has been giving off some subtle friendzone signals but like most boys and men, they cannot read a room to save their life. It seems to be a life skill that not every guy learns. The whole situation just makes me cringe.

It was pretty heinous, but I have to nominate the sweater vest that was at least 5 sizes too big from episode. It was a Big and Tall fail. Tragic!

So I love Dan, he's got such a good heart. But...I think maybe getting the costume designer from Schitt's Creek would make him look better. His clothes are cringe. Like a little kid trying on their dad's oversized clothing. All I want is for Danielle's bakery to go nationwide (or at least be available through Goldbelly). I need all of her baked good's in my life and belly immediately (screw you, hard pants!) This show tries too hard. Like, I'm probably an asshole but the contestants do-good-ery kind of grates on me. (Don't worry, I know I'm going to hell for saying stuff like that. I've been building a fiery retirement home there for years). It's like they want the feel-good of GBBO, but have to go the extra mile by telling us that not only are these nice people but they do stuff for communities. We get it. These people are nice. No one cares about extra credit. How about we just focus on the contestants, and give us more on their cooking? Roman annoys me. I'm not sure what it's about, but he's too smile-y and "off" if that makes sense. I would not want to grab a drink with him. Same with J. She's too extra. Stop with the aggressive clapping and take the spirit fingers out of my face! I like the bartender. She's cool, and I appreciate the show acknowledges that without alcohol there is no brunch. If you ain't boozing, then it's breakfast...and where's the fun in that?

I remember that week (just not the season), and frankly this week they should have asked Hannah Waddingham to reprise her "shame, SHAME" role from Game of Thrones and ring her bell in front of the bakers truly terrible pastries. Honestly, I'm surprised that Paul didn't push for a "no win week." He loves a little fuck you with his flaky crust. I've noticed this season that there are less comments on the boards, which says a lot. Past seasons, I was posting after each episode but this year, meh....it's almost not worth taking the time to snark.

I get that Alicent and LittleLimper had an uneasy understanding after he burnt down his family tree, but I didn't realize that her toes were part of their alliance. Maybe LittleLimper and Ser Cristen can form a circle jerk. If Cristen's balls weren't so blue all the time, he might have less of a body count.

Bye, Dom! Don't let the chisel hit you on the way out. Sharik really was out there pulling a Veruca. All that was missing was her stomping her feet and pounding her fists on the ground. Next time, Linton, enroll Sharik in pre-school and team up with someone who won't throw her bottle every time the word "roadblock" is mentionted. JFC.