ZeeEnnui

Death by Dildo and Jamie is the name of my new band. Our first single is DAMNNNNN Look at Dean Winchesters's Ass. (Sorry, Soldier Boy 😉)

You know what I like about Baby Yoda? He doesn't talk. I am not a fan of precocious child actors, and Little Action Leia worked my last nerve. I know that Obi-Wan's needs to dust off his old Jedi tricks, but did he forget his common sense too? Bro, your hologram is everywhere maybe don't run around without your hood.

They can join Evie's Amazing Technicolor Underpants in the cast-off pile [shudder]

I vaguely remember that now. Your memory is much better than mine when it comes to keeping track of storylines. There is definitely a "twin beds" vibe with Omar and his girlfriend, but maybe my gaydar needs a charge?

Geez, Cecilia. Show up at the Tillerson's all guilty shuffles at the back of the crowd and don't bring a casserole?!?!? What would the lord say? At least bring some ambrosia. That's a real f*** you to the Tillerson's because that's a dish that should only be served to your worst enemies. Run, Perry, run! Autumn is going to have Perry charging crystals, and smugly telling everyone at the rodeo about juice cleanses by next episode.

Am I the only one that thought that immunity deal for the kid should comes with strings? Mandated therapy for the next five years seems fair. Also, no you go to hell, Toxic Enabler Mommy.

I'm grateful to the CBS editors for sparing us from what I imagine was Jeff's giant O face during the second tribal council. Shutting up is always an option, Jonathan. I've liked Jonathan but I first got my back up with the paternalistic and condescending way he kept shutting Lindsay down on the beach, and then calling Drea aggressive. Maybe it was because I had a meeting this week where I had a colleague keep trying to talk over myself and another female colleague on a project that the both of us worked on without him, so I was definitely not in the mood for any meathead mansplaining in this episode. I'm very white and I winced when I saw Chanelle and Rocksroy sitting there. It's not a great look. Yes, there were other people that weren't black voted out before they were but we all react visually to what's in front of us, and it wasn't a good look. (Even if many of us can agree that Rocksroy was a bit of a blowhard, and had terrible social game). I can't imagine what that must have felt like for Drea or Maryanne to see that, and I really appreciated them sharing their perspective. Another muscle group that Jonathan should work on are his listening skills. It's a really bad look when white people jump in with the "I'm not racist" defense. Unless you traded your purple buff for a white hood or started hurling around slurs then this probably isn't about you. Most people aren't going to say they are racist anyway. If you want to be an ally, stop inserting yourself into a situation that has nothing to do with you and listen...you might have a "more you know" moment. I will miss Tori and her chaotic energy.

Strawberry jelly people have never truly lived. I'll bet Maryann only eats strawberry jelly and makes squawky nom noises when she eats it. I love grape jelly (and will accept raspberry) but peanut butter's true sammie soul mate is orange marmalade. Also, I feel like Drea has a reckoning coming for all of her crotch-sweat covered advantage tchotchkes.

Apparently you can find love with your head firmly planted up your butt. Adam and Rebekah are truly a match made in hideous, love the smell of their own farts heaven. There were so many tiny hilarious moments in this episode from the smoothie gag to sandy eyeball karma. The next time I'm called on my shit in a work meeting, I'm going to squeeze some vaccine in my eyes and cry about how "I'm just trying to save the world, guys." Oh, Miguel....[epic face palm] Cameron's CEO speech [chef's bitchy kiss] It BUGS that Adam and Rebekah walked away with all of that cash. Damn you, Capitalism [shakes fist at Wall Street Bull]!!!!!!

Hey Miguel. Instead of buying fine art, maybe buy yourself a spine. It's a better long term investment. Adam is a ridiculous snake oil salesman, but Rebekah is just insidious. Anne Hathaway is nailing the character's roiling resentment and bitterness about everyone else's accomplishments. "Everyone thinks I'm a joke." No kidding. You are every charged crystal woowoo rich lady with all the personality of a green juice left out for hours in the sun. Her entitlement is astounding (but also hilarious) but also without her money she'd be working at a Moon Juice trying to manifest her power on her Etsy board. CAMERON!!!!! MVP. We don't get much of him, but when we do it's always solid gold.

Yeah, I saw this completely differently. The scene with Sunny in the office, Elizabeth reminded me of a snake looking to strike prey. She was taking George's words to heart, and basically began brainstorming a new narrative where Sunny was the bad guy that lied to her. I think Elizabeth is a stone cold sociopath but she needs a script to work with so that she can fully believe her own false reality. It's like method acting but for narcissistic robots. If we didn't know how the story ended, this would be the scene where Elizabeth murders Sunny but tries to claim that it was in self-defense until a dogged detective that doesn't play by the rules and isn't here for this start-up shit solves the case. Dun dun. While I would have loved another episode or two to wrap things up, I think the reason that they showed the silliness with the boyfriend was that this was Elizabeth (excuse me...Lizzie's) new persona. It was a big deal during the trial for her to find this new younger (...and dumber. Has to be dumb, right?) boyfriend who could knock her up in the hopes of playing the poor innocent blonde lady on the stand. Elizabeth isn't capable of human feeling but she is good at pretending to be what people need her to be in the most intense way possible. It didn't work with a jury, but we'll see what happens during sentencing. I hope they throw the Siemen's machine at her and lock her up for the max. I want to give all the awards to Amanda Seyfried and Naveen Andrews. They killed it.

"Maryann's getting worse, right?" Preach, Jonathan. PREACH. Maryann would for sure have found the sharp end of the machete if that were me using it. (Whoopsies. You know how it is with workspaces...some people create imaginary boundaries and others get sent home with grievous bodily injuries. Teehee.) I wonder if law enforcement would be interested in recruiting Maryann. Can you imagine how easy it would be to break suspects? Just put 'em in a room with Maryann for a few minutes. They'd break so quickly, and beg for solitary.

"You have no light." Way harsh, Elisha! I love it. The only thing that would have made her verbal smackdown of Rebecca even better... mentioning dear Cousin Gwyneth. Adam and Rebecca really are a match made in rancid kombucha hell.

Only Maryann could get away with saying that b.s. phrase about bunnies in mailboxes. That is not a compliment. Jonathan, Jonathan, JONATHAN!!! Take it up with Probst, and his man crush on "Don't Call Me, Goliath." Also, guuuuuyyyysss Jonathan told everyone our tribe was super tight!!! The secret is out and...stuff. I mean....what? If Omar and Maryann want some extra camera time then maybe come up with some better fake drama. I don't care for Tori but I appreciate her role as a fish-face making agent of chaos and backstabbing. Carry on with your two-faced self.

I was getting Belloq from Raiders of the Lost Ark vibes. Red flags in the fish market either way.

Gurrrlllll...Raikes has been scaling the society ladder like he's King Kong on the Empire State Building. Buy yourself a clue along with some gloves from Bloomingdales. Marion is such a dipshit. What is that I don't want to part enemy's bs? Like, Raikes just did her dirty -- as every character and extra on the street was basically telling her all season -- but she doesn't like bitter?!?! Marion is the worst kind of vanilla. She's French Vanilla (yuck). An old money adjacent woman bent on wreaking social havoc and revenge on a lawyer with all the charisma of a used sponge...I'd watch that show. Too bad we're stuck with the beneficiary of nepotism as our dead-eyed lead. Zee jig is up for Bates. I mean, Baudin. Sorry, Bordin. Fellowes has a type. Marion: Portrait of a Moron in Purple. Aurora Fane is the stealth MVP of the season. I hope we get more of her in season 2. The hair department really did Jeanne Tripplehorn dirty. No one deserves to be onscreen with uneven bang trauma. I guess one of those chicken feathers from last week got stuck all the way up Bertha's ass because she was really insufferable this week (which is saying something). I struggle here because I love me some Carrie C***, but I really, really want to see Bertha bitch slapped a little. Mrs. Astor is a legendary historical figure, and it's kind of ridiculous that she wouldn't score a total knockout against Bertha. BOOOOOOOOOOO. I hate this daytime soap opera of a storyline for Peggy. Not only do I want to see Agnes and Bertha become sniping frenemies next season but I want to see more of Agnes and Oscar. I think this is the first time where I was like, their relationship could add some much needed spark to the Van Rijin house. Make it happen, show. What I don't need to see next season. Any of the downstairs plot. This season proved that there is too many characters for the writers room to handle. The downstairs worked on Downton because we had the Crawley servants to invest in. Here you've got two households plus Peggy's family. I just can't bring myself to give a f***. Time to cull that call sheet.

So while this isn't anywhere near as good as The Dropout, I'm still enjoying this. I watched the Hulu doc about WeWork last year, and Jared Leto -- the wannabe Christian Bale, who I can take or leave in most projects -- nails Adam's voice and mannerisms. Both Adam and Rebekah are different kinds of despicable. Adam is straight up drink the Kool-Aid levels of creepy, and I personally would not feel comfortable in a room alone with him because I'd either end up dead or owning a timeshare somewhere. Rebekah is the kind of horribly privileged rich girl who bores you about crystals and throws a fit in Moon Juice because her smoothie had the blue algae instead of the lions head mushrooms which will cause chakras to explode or something. She's not a Karen, she's a Muffy. I've worked in a number of start-ups so shows like this are both an eye roll and a trigger for me. I learned after my first terrible experience that all the ping pong tables, free pizza Fridays and cool vibes are a mask for an insidiously toxic work environment. At least my bad start-up didn't have a fuck closet. Rebekah's bullshit in the silent retreat was epic. I loved it when the women from WeWork were not there for her shiz, so it was so gross when Rebekah somehow managed to talk her way out of it. Oh we have to SUPPORT everyone. EYE ROLL. Like, no one saw through that? I felt bad for the comms lady. Not only did PR flack get treated like the freaking help by Rebekah but she is blamed for her client's unwillingness to own up to her problematic statements. And, I love that she's the only one on the team that gets let go. Oh, and the only woman. Getting fired by a dude with COCK written on his forehead is a definite low point, but in hindsight she was probably relieved to exit the clown car that was WeWork.

TakBOOOOOOO! You had one job. Vote out the Human Embodiment of a Care Bear on Meth. Honestly, Maryann's cheerfulness (no matter how genuine) is like fingernails on a chalkboard to me, and if I were on an island with her, I'd have to fight the urge to not push her into a pit full of crabs every time she opened her mouth (which is apparently all the time). Also, cringe about Maryann's dubious dating life. She might have more luck with a little gaydar because if Zach is her type then I see a lot of cats and Precious Moments figurines in her future. I love that Daniel is a stealth game ninja. Last week, he was hardcore about paddling with a dislocated shoulder, and this week he's playing chess while Mike is losing a game of Hide and Seek. Religion may be why Omar is a virgin at 30, but that ostrich t-shirt is the reason why he'll still be a virgin at 40 and 50. I will never understand why people who come on the game who are like I hate spiders, mosquitos, sand in my bathing suit area, the outdoors, etc. come on this show. I hate all of those things too. It's why I don't go camping, and why I don't submit an application for Survivor. There are other ways to win money - Vegas has a whole industry devoted to it.

People that aren't Marion: "That lawyer of yours is super sketchy. He is working that social ladder like its a stripper pole. Watch your back." Marion: "Red flags. Those would look lovely in my bouquet." People that aren't Marion: "Are you really that stupid?" Marion: "Totes. Getting married to a bland dude that I don't know is exactly what weak ass rebel poseurs like myself do to make a point. Viva la revolution!" Are Mamie or Grace Gummer available next season for a Marian recast so their little sister can explore other off camera career opportunities? Armstrong should spend her days off working on her nuance. If she had an eeevil mustache, she'd be twirling it. Creepy Doll Party lady is all about those sick social burns. LOL. Peggy's story. Secret marriage and dead baby. Yawn. Also, stop crying Marian. Not everything is about you. Don't be jelly, John Q Adams. Do you really want to be f*** buddies with a dude that dresses like an alternate in the Newport Barbershop Quartet? Find you someone whose more into Bachelors than Beards. Bertha's Chicken Walk of Shame was hilarious. On Law & Order: Gilded Age. It was the Dorota in the Bloomingdales with the deceitful Dixon's charge card. Even Jack McCoy couldn't win a case that quickly. Also, I feel like the writers got super bored with the court case and just wanted George to walk with a preposterously easy solution to his problem. I have a theory that next week when Dumdum in Yellow goes to run off with Raikes, it will be George that saves her from ruin as a thank you for being at the right counter at the right time. This will force Agnes to acknowledge the Russells which will cause all kinds of issues next season. But eventually Agnes and Bertha will end up besties trading barbs like the Dowager Countess and Cousin Isobel.

Welcome to a new era of Survivor AKA Jeff Probst's Ongoing Pandemic Fever Dream. At least it looks like he washed his hair this season. Gotta love boob/ball sweat advantage idols. Okay, I'll be the asshole here. Maryann it's not that you were a "weirdo" in high school it's that you're ANNOYING. Ugh. Maryann's personality type works my last nerve. Her wailing on the beach when Jackson announced he was leaving was ridiculously overwrought. Was she trying to win a Razzie with that performance? People like her always act like they're so sweet but really they make everything about them. You just met Jackson, calm down. In the first challenge, I get wanting to make it seem like the survivors got dirty but fake blood from Spirit Halloween? Hai looked like an extra in a horror movie. Someone on his team asked about the blood and seemed concern, but no one thought to ask where the wound was? Sticky red flag right there people! As for Jackson, I feel for him but not disclosing his medical situation -- even if he totally had it under control and is fine -- isn't going to fly with the CBS legal team. BUT I do think it's bullshit that they pulled a "wait and see." It was so obvious that Jeffy and the producers wanted to have a teachable moment with a transgender man on the show. It's gross, cynical, and unfair to Jackson. So far I like Jenny, Jonathan, Hai, Swathi, and maybe Drea (jury is still out on her). Rocks should watch his back. Assertive players historically rub people the wrong way. I totally understood his frustration, but his attitude is that of the middle manager that everyone hates and talks smack about in a separate Slack channel.

Damn...learn to read a ballroom, Bertha. George is a patient guy with his family but his wife deserved that snap. If he goes down, the only party she'll be throwing will be in the slum housing they'll have to move to when the Russell's lose all their money. Turner continues to be Weak Sauce O'Brien. When Bertha was like our relationship has changed, bro. All I could think was WHAT relationship. We've barely seen these two together. I'd love to read a page out of Turner's Burn Book because her one-sided feud with Bertha is laughable. Then going into George's room again?!?! Is being rejected Turner's kink because he's just not that into you. Turner would honestly have more luck getting a pity f*** out of Oscar than George. I love a good schemer but Turner really needs to attend a remedial course at the O'Brien and Barrow School of Downstairs Grievances for me to care at all about her. Watching Marion not be invited to things apparently sparks joy for me. Raikes is looking a little desperate to lock down Blandy McBlanderson. No one buys what your selling, pal especially Aurora Fane's "troubled face." Seriously, Aurora doesn't get much screen time but she nails "oh...sheeit" like nobody's business nearly every week. You know what would make Larry interesting? If he starts working for Stanford White whose Wiki page reads like a Gilded Age TMZ. If Agnes thinks a ladies maid touching Oscar's arm is scandalous, she'd have a stroke reading about what Stanford White got up to in his free time. In one hundred years, Ada would have totally been reading Judy Blume and VC Andrews in secret.

This is why you hire Christine Baranski! Agnes is a GOAT. I like that it's not just Agnes who thinks that Raikes is a rake. Peggy can read a hotel room hallway, and can see nobody's favorite social climbing lawyer is shady. Too bad Marian's too dumb to see it. If Armstrong lived now, she would be all over NextDoor saying all kinds of racist stuff about the neighbors and then get offended when anyone called her on it! (How dare you! I'm just concerned for... reasons). I love that Agnes sees right through her, and put her shiz on notice. Mrs. Fish would have loved the American Girl store. That party was so cringe. But I'm glad Gladys made a friend. Russell's in disarray! Like George's unfortunate train crash, we could all see where things were going to derail -- yes, I have committed to the pun -- in their marriage. He is very supportive of Bertha, but she's way too consumed with forcing her way into society to take a step back and look at the bigger picture. All the borrowed English butlers and grand architecture in the world won't save you if George goes down. Bertha better watch out or she's not going to be able to sit with the cool kids at recess anymore. "Don't go soft on me." Hope you don't use that one in bed, Bertha. SHUT UP, Marian. That's it. I just feel like it needs to be said every week. I feel much better now.

Fuck all the way off, Neff. JFC. Blind loyalty with no return and willfully stupid. I couldn't with her judgmental b.s. Shut it with your exaggerated facial contortions, Vivian. WTH? If I were the journalist that Vivian was based on, I would sue the writers for dramatic defamation. But, I guess she's a producer and is okay with being portrayed as obsessive, lacking in objectivity, pawning her work off on the ALL STARS in Scriberia and just generally sucking at her job. I guess she believes all publicity is good publicity. I hope Netflix paid her well for that (but I've heard they don't pay that well so...) Rachel is flawed but she's still a freaking victim. Did she make mistakes? Sure. Was she kind of irritating and reminded me of this really annoying girl I knew in Junior High? Yes, totally. But you know what? She didn't deserve what happened to her. I read Rachel's Vanity Fair piece where she talked about suggesting vacations that she could afford but Anna insisted on Morocco and that she would pay for everything. Now, when there was an issue with the plane ticket that would have been a red flag for me, but I can see how someone like Rachel who has watched Anna make it rain all over town would think that everything was going to be okay. Of course, she put down that card. The threat of Moroccan prison would have had all of us reaching for our wallets. She was still SCAMMED. Rachel should definitely have come clean to her work immediately but she like so many on this show apparently fell under Anna's spell (I don't personally get the appeal). Rachel got Anna busted, and made some money off of it. I can't be mad at it. I'm sorry, I think most of us would have turned a scammer like Anna in, and I'm not sure why this show thinks we should feel badly about it. Don't do the crimes, if you can't do the time, Anna. It's hilarious that everyone was falling over themselves over dresses from the H&M sale rack. Todd's wife and Vivian's husband should go on vacation together, and bitch about Anna over beachside margaritas. I believe Netflix paid Anna around $300k for the rights to her story. Most went to paying off her victims but I think she still got some money. I don't think she should be able to profit at all. No sympathy for sociopaths with bizarro accents.

I'm with you. It's so confusing trying to keep the downstairs households straight. Fellowes is borrowing some of the magic from Downton but it doesn't work here. You had one family the Crawley's so we as viewers go to know the upstairs and downstairs equally. Here you've got old money and new money, and it's like playing a game of Musical Servants. I almost wonder if it would have been better to just focus first on the Old vs. New $$ and then slowly start introducing the downstairs over the course of the season, and maybe spending more time on their stories in season two so we weren't overwhelmed by ALL of the characters. Like a fine wine, plots need to breathe. I would LOVE a spin-off of the Scott family with the exploration of Black Harlem during this period.

Go Rachel! I love that she helped get Anna busted. Also, SHUT UP, Neff! Normally, I love Anna Chlumsky but this episode she was playing it for the cheap seats. What was up with her b.s. fantasies of Anna as some tragically misunderstood figure? Someone clearly spent too much time reading Russian lit in the library while on maternity leave. Sometimes a con artist is simply a con artist. Let it go. Color me skeptical that Vivian's bosses would okay a fishing expedition to Germany and that Vivian had to pack right that minute! I appreciate that the German translator was all, "calm down crazy American lady."