saber5055

All I could think after watching this episode is, it's not the actors who are at fault, it's the writers who are a bunch of dumbasses. Or else it's the writers who think we viewers are a bunch of dumberasses. Because this episode was beyond ridiculous to the point of being so stupid that it was destroying my brain cells just by watching it. WTH with the tattoos being put together all What The What! and the cryptic email coming from ... was it the North Pole? Where Santa lives but otherwise there are no people, no buildings and certainly no servers anywhere even NEAR the Arctic. And the tattoos being put together in some random fashion to create some clue that has to be solved TODAY makes my brain rot to just think of how crazy that is. As another poster wrote, why not just send the email that there is a sex ring going on, or say HEY! check out the mural on Street X and then figure out what it means. How the tats were combined this week was beyond bad writing. Maybe it was drug-induced writing. There's that to consider. Then the birthdays of all the stolen women are changed to 1800s dates? WTH? Really? Like no one would ever notice that, except our faithful cryptic tat reader. Why not put a code word into their bio instead of making a REALLY OBVIOUS date change? The captured FBI undercover woman was wearing a necklace where she could talk to the other agents, yet she said freaking NOTHING when she was being taken into the building. Then what is that magic drug that makes people drop instantly when it's shot into their necks? I can see a killer dose of horse tranquilizer would do that, except the person would drop dead. Any sedative drug would take a few minutes to make a person pass out. Plus, if someone jumped me from behind and stabbed a needle in my neck, I'd scream like a little girl and yell a big OWWWW! before I passed out. Dumbass agents don't see the FBI undercover chick get back on the bus and they're all okay with that. Dumbasses. Then all those captured women are being used a happy hookers? Yeah, I can see that happening. Just grab some women and they'll all gladly turn tricks, happy as clams (no pun intended). What a dumbass idea. I'm guessing those writers are men. Who gives a care that the black FBI guy is dating Weller's sister? I don't. And Tree Guy ... I agree with everyone here. He needs to quit talking in Dumbass Writer Code and just freaking tell Jane what the heck is going on. And, oh yeah, that guy on death row was being put to death in one day, and in one day the FBI cleared his name, something no one anywhere had been able to do in a year. God, this show is rotting my brain. At least Lost didn't pretend to be real, there's the difference.

Netfoot, you gave me a great idea for the finale. Jimmy kills Otto, then Mary forces Connor to use Gracie's DNA to bring Otto back to life. Otto now needs a tank every six hours or HE will die. Jimmy and Mary move Connor's tank back to LookingGlass, this after Connor is put in prison for kidnapping and accessory to murder among other things. Mary and Jimmy hook up, so now Otto is at their beck and call to do whatever, whenever, or he loses his tank privileges. As for what happens to Agent Burke, I mean Duval ... i could care less. But the sister/daughter gets hired as Mary's new assistant at LookingGlass after the last one gets put in prison for accessory and then fades back to old age/dies. Yeay! I love my finale!

I understood that the boyfriend was a fake set up to get Gracie away from her family so she could be kidnapped by Otto while her family thought she had run away with the drummer guy. They wouldn't have a clue she was being held hostage at Connor's lab. The boyfriend was a ruse, playing Gracie until she cared enough to "run off" with him. Yeah, the series being cut short has made it rushed, so if it's been cancelled I can't blame the writers for trying to pack everything into fewer episodes. I guess after the "grandpa" kiss James gave Mary, that romance isn't going to happen. *sigh* So, buh-bye show, if that's the case. I don't see how Otto could come back after all of this.

I don't have any problems with JoJo either, and am in for her season. I just wonder what she did with her "Mrs. Higgins" Cubs jersey. It would sell for big bucks on eBay, I'll bet, or maybe it will be a wedding gift for Lauren!

Lacey is the first contestant I can remember, although know I don't watch this show all that closely, who was all about herself, how she's going to win the battle, yada yada Lacey Lacey Lacey. Even if the others THINK that stuff, they never say it in the THs, they always compliment their competitor. Not Lacey. So she got stomped by Curly Sue, and, thank goodness, was going to be GONE ... but got saved? WTH? Do producers want to create drama and told the coaches to save her? And yeah, who is her rocker metal dad?

Kaitlyn was sort of the female Juan Pablo. Both started out okay, then turned into ... well, themselves. And by that time, it was too late to change up. Although that could make the most dramatic season ever, switching TB and TBettes in the middle of the season! I think Ben was fine for this franchise. He kept pretty much on script, including the DRAMATIC double ILYs, which means he got a pretty decent edit and, you know, is now on Chris Harrison's Mt. Rushmore. Whether he ends up getting married to F1 is anyone's guess, with his chance of getting married as good as any pairing. These days it seems no one stays married for long to the same person. I kind of hope they do make it as both seem pretty low-key, like Des and Ashley. Those two married their choices and went back to real life.

Totally agree with Browncoat. I hate, hate, hate that the camera keeps cutting away to Harvey. He's being paid to host this show and love all the kids whether he does or not, so all of his "I'm laughing so hard, these kids are so cute" closeups could have been filmed last month and spliced in at random. I want to see the kids, not those real-or-fake Harvey edits. Then there is the ADHD camera work. First, a close up of the dancing kids, then cut to Harvey, then show the full stage, then cut to Harvey, then cut to some camera up in the rafters somewhere, then cut back to the kid's face, then feet, then Harvey ... GAH! Makes me seasick. What happened to the good old days when people got to actually SEE the performance all the way through. All the talent shows use the same jump-around camera work, making the performances so chopped up no viewer can tell if it was really good or not. The interviews are great, though, and those make me LOL. Why not leave Harvey's closeups to those segments? (Except he probably has something in his contract that he gets X closeups per episode.)

This gave me some really bad dejá vu, back to Vietnam anti-war protests. Not fun for me at all. Rather upsetting, in fact.

Especially since there were two glasses on the table. Crane displayed some out-of-character bad manners, which showed his contempt of THO. Yes. I kept thinking KATRINA! every time Pandora was on screen.

Nice recap, Jasmine, and I agree with all you said about Otto. It also confuses me why the long setup to kidnap Gracie. Why not just do a grab-and-go, unless Connor was counting on everyone thinking she had just left town with the BF. But the BF didn't even try to be believable, staying sitting on the floor when Gracie's (aunt? dad? Can't remember) came into the room, playing with the pistol at the target-shooting place ... all that didn't jive with the drummer being planted as a BF. James finally kisses Mary ... with about as much passion as grandpa kisses granddaughter. Which is maybe how James sees Mary. That was a very disappointing scene. Duvall again goes Berserk Burke, this time getting relieved of duty. But just because someone says something crazy, they have to be handcuffed and detained for mental exam? Please. That means almost the entire world population should be behind bars. Just let the guy go home with "dad." James' white shoes weren't as obvious this week, but they were still there.

Plus on BIP, there are multiple men/women, and people can swap mates, if that's what they want to do. There's no pressure of a two-on-one date, and if someone gets a date card, they can chose whomever to go with them, IF that choice is acceptable to the mob. I mean, other contestants. It's a week or two (MOL) in Mexico, even if the accommodations aren't exactly the Hilton. Plus, there's 15 more minutes of D-list fame for each one.

I guess I missed Miguel even having a mother. Well, a living one anyway. So thanks for that, Eliza. Why the lie about Miguel missing his parole hearing and Christina had to BE CAREFUL! because now Miguel was "on the loose"? I didn't get that story line at all. Just tell Christina that Miguel is not trustworthy and she could be kidnapped or something. Isn't that scary enough?

Hey, I actually liked this episode. Stuff happened and the story moved along. Best ep so far IMO. The opening sequences, however, almost made me puke. Stahl having sex ... just a big fat NO to that on my tv. I fought a strong urge to turn the channel. But Woz waiting outside to bust "Harlee" was a golden moment. Gold, I say! I have a real problem with Miguel though. If Harlee's apartment is in a secure building where people have to be buzzed in, how the heck did he get in her freaking BEDROOM? And where in the world was he when he was pruning a garden? Did he live there or work there? And how did Harlee know where to find him? And she's going to give him big $$ to get out of town? And now he's investigating the guy falling off the building? WTH? None of that worked for me. Just arrange for the guy to be in some heist and get killed, Woz. Once I was running and fell flat on my face on the cement. My nose broke my fall. I had a bloody nose for about an hour, and a few days later had a minor black eye. Other than that, I've fallen a couple time head-first over a deck railing, fallen off of multiple horses, had horses fall on top of me, had horses drag me while running over me, been thrown head-first into a fence and have even run into a few doors. I've never gotten a facial bruise from any of those event. So yeah, that "she fell and that's why she's all bruised" is so much BS, even for a fake tv show. Christina is massively stupid. I don't even cut her slack for being a kid. She can google spousal abuse and see a bunch of photos like what her mom showed her. Moron. Lohman tracking the killer who turned out to be the armored-car driver ... genius. But he should have been all, "Hey, HI you guys," when he came upon the heist. For him to try to arrest all of his buddies? Man, poor choice. He had already called it in, they all needed to get the heck out of Dodge, or just make the whole thing about arresting the driver for murder. Too funny that the team boosted a car to make it to the heist in time. Great moment.

JenE4 beat me to it. I actually got embarrassed watching Arie kiss because it was ... well, sorta like watching a porno or something, it was HOT and HOT DAMN, I kept wishing I were the one up against those walls. Add Sean to the list of revolting kissers. Most of these people make horrible tv when they kiss, it's all noise and, well, slobber. But Arie ... hokey smokes. Yeah, he def created smoke, even through the screen of my ancient tv. If I remember correctly, Arie turned down being TB. I know there was a lot of talk about it. And he did go down a notch or two when he dated Flapjack's Courtney for a while. But still, if he were ever TB ... just, wow for ratings.

I had the same thought! And I had to be very, very careful when I decided to post a comment about it. Go figure. Do you mean maybe men have different tastes like all the female posters here do? Who knew! I do know I like a tall drink, like Mr. Obscure appears to be ... But too funny you had a boob conversation with your brothers, Judy. I can't even with mine. I think Caila was the prettiest of the final three. Not that my vote counts in anything, including ring choice!

This is the first "hand man" I've (sort of) met. But it's a benefit to know hands rank on the list of items to be man-approved. Now I have to pay better attention to mine. Or else keep them hidden in my lap so as to increase the mystery on dates! I do wonder what men think of those extended lobster-claw fake nails so many women attach to the end of their fingers. Personally, they scare me.

Yes to this. My hair is sadly disappointed as is my mirror reflection. *sigh* Kudos to everyone here who picked Lauren as F1. Being purposefully unspoiled combined with not caring one lick about who Ben picked, I didn't have a clue until Ben's head-shaking NO to JoJo on their last date day. I so agree with this. It irks the heck out of me (and I have lots of heck) when TB/TB-ette has to go on and on about "what a wonderful person you are" before kicking that person to the curb. That is always followed by the icky "Can I walk you out?" ("MAY I walk you out," but that's a different rant). I've loved past contestants who, when given the rejection, stop TB/TB-ette, say they don't want to hear it, then turn and stomp out ALONE while leaving TB/TB-ette standing there looking like the doof they are. Big YES to those people, who leave with their dignity. Hey, it's that person's 15 minutes too, it's not all about YOU, TB/TB-ette. That made me like JoJo too, but, as I posted earlier, men hate when women ask about feelings and press them to look inside and talk about how they feel. So yeah, Lauren is great date/girlfriend/wife material: Keep your mouth shut and let the man do whatever he wants. That makes you golden in his eyes. I called JoJo "The Dog-Faced Girl" when she went to Wrigley Field, but I thought she was very pretty in her FS "morning-after" scenes. Plus I like her ability to "conversate," which is a skill Caila of the Beautiful Hair doesn't have. Plus she has those Reality Show brother(s). And was it her mom who did the wine-bottle drinking? All GOLD for this franchise. I've thought a bit about the praying-outloud thing. When I was a kid, I had to speak "Now I lay me down to sleep ..." out loud so Mom would know I was really praying instead of just daydreaming on my knees for two minutes. Maybe that habit has just stayed with Ben. The loud mouth-breathing thing though ... that's a deal breaker for me. For some reason, Lauren reminds me of Chris Soules' Whitney. Maybe it's the "perfect" thing? My brother kissed me on the lips many years ago. It competely freaked me out, and I STILL haven't recovered from it. I now always keep a good distance from him. It's GROSS and inappropriate.

Annoying enough that, after an extended period of time, one will start thinking about how to kill the mouth breather. Or seriously maim him/her. Anything to get it to stop. The Chinese Water Torture is named torture for a reason ... drip ... drip ... drip ... until the end of time. It WILL drive you insane. Trust me. (Of course, then the person will get more 15 minutes of fame, although this time as the murder suspect on Dateline!) "Blindside" will be the new catch phrase for upcoming TB and TB-ette shows. Listen for it, along with old standbys "crazy," "amazing" and "journey."

On ATFR, I thought JoJo was really adult about getting dumped on the finale, even with Ben saying he'd "moved on," making it all about him (again) instead of saying he'll always think of JoJo as a "good friend." Although Lauren might have had something to say about Ben giving JoJo any props or good words. Who knows. But still, Ben was sort of jerky while JoJo was a proper adult about it. Then I found out why JoJo was so stoic ... she's the next B-ette! Hey, that would make ANYONE forget about being dumped on national tv. It's her 15 minutes, starting ... NOW!

I've watched this season with only one eye and half a brain, but I sat down to watch Monday night's hours with full attention. I also was not spoiled for the first time in a long time. However, Ben spoiled it for me in the first few minutes, when JoJo asked him if he was ready to propose, and he shook his head NO while saying yes. Wow, gigantic tell there Mr. Higgins. I knew JoJo was toast from that point forward. So I watched how she was edited ... she got the most romantic edits, Ben was all about how JoJo is wonderful, they were best friends and she is always there for him. While Lauren ... he's never seen anything but the "perfect" side of her, what happens when they have a problem? Yeah, TPTB always want us to be stupified at the end, when the Bach picks the one who got the second-place edit. I agree that Lauren is overly polished. When talking to Ben's mom, she asked what SHE could do to make BEN feel better when there is a problem, this after Mom said Ben has sort of a darker side (as we all do). Lauren was playing Perfect Stepford Wife. Watching, I liked how JoJo was able to carry a conversation and dig deep into a relationship. She rules in that respect. The only problem is, men don't like to be questioned or asked about their feelings or to be made to talk or, frankly, think about anything but what they want for dinner and what football game is on tv. (Sorry male posters ... I think!) So, again, Lauren is perfect because she only cares about making BEN happy, which means shutting up and letting him do what he wants. I did love Lauren's blue dress at the end, and on ATFR. I'm not one for dresses that exploit boobage. But then again, I'm not a man and JoJo isn't dressing for me. When my choice was confirmed by JoJo stepping out of the helicopter first, I really felt bad for her. Then I felt really excited for her. She avoided being engaged to Ben! That's a huge win-win in my book. Then I was wishing for her to be the B-ette instead of Caila. And I got my wish there, too. CH trying to get Ben married on ATFR was the stupidest thing ever. But all the parents got free trips to LA, as did that Indiana minister, so good on all of them for showing up. I'm sure those comped rooms are really great. Jealous! ETA: I forgot to say, as soon as Ben picked that hideous pyramid ring, I knew it was for Lauren. Gag a maggot, that was a fugly ring. But somehow it spoke "Lauren" to me. Not sure what that means, it just did.

Ha ha, so do I. I could use a good tank dunking. Love your post, Bruins. You need to start writing for this show. I don't think so or she wouldn't have been all about "you two are a couple" and/or "oh, you two are getting divorced." She would have known. Plus she probably would jack up her commission if she knew she was renting to a bazillionaire.

Excellent reporting, Pitchy. Again, it's what the show wants us to believe. And, because we saw it on The Bachelor, it has to be TRUE, right? TPTB never mentioned all of Soules' DUIs either. You know, the ones that wouldn't let him into Canada so Kaitlyn's "hometown" was in Arizona or some such place. Looking forward to tonight. Ben is also scheduled to be on Kimmel, so it's a full night of BEN, BEN and more BEN!

Do tell! What is he doing? He's the only reason I watch this show ...

Ben is fitting Fleiss' requirement of a "moldable" bachelor, one who follows the script TPTB give him. Chris Harrison reinforced this by calling Ben The Most Popular Bachelor EVER! and telling Ben he is on Mt. Rushmore (still don't have a clue what that means). Ben also has helped TPTB set up The Most DRAHmatic Finale EVER! by telling two women ILY. Ben is a win-win for this franchise. These contestants are only worried about their own happiness and ability to continue on as reality D-listers. So yeah, barf on Ben, he has screwed their chances for continuing more weeks on network tv, so they have to scrounge and battle for air time on TWTA. Oh, yes. Trista/Ryan was the first. It was quite a production. Sean/Catherine. There was at least one more ... the Mesnicks? Then the fakety fake BIP wedding a while back. Other posters can probably name more. The plus is that ABC foots the bill for the wedding, the couple gets even more network airtime, plus Chris Harrison gets to use his Internet-purchased minister degree. Last night on SNL, there was a hilarious segment on Weekend Update with Drunk Bachelorette who gave a commentary on TB's final episode. Except she ended up acting EXACTLY like all the crazy b-ettes on this show. It was a fantastic parody. Maybe someone can find it on YouTube?

Well, there's that point that Bruinsfan made, that "having functioning eyesight" thing. I'd be okay with getting with James if I were Mary, for the reasons others have given, plus "old people" have all that worldly experience and decades of knowledge, which make for a great partner. Someone who knows what to do and how to do it, plus all the catting around is (usually) behind. The old person knows and appreciates what a good relationship is. The problem is that old people LOOK old, so "Ewwww" for them being selected as a partner. But now that old Jimmy is hot James, he's the perfect package (no pun intended). The hesitation would be if he went back to being a cat-around like many in his now-age group. All my favorite shows get cancelled, so I'm trying not to think about that. Thanks for the depressing news, Rhodes. NOT!