Oldernowiser

Vanilla. Trust me.

“Mama’s” my ass. That’s Cook’s Illustrated and I know because I make these all the time, with walnuts and dried cranberries added. She’s plagiarizing on my turf now and I am not having it. 👿

He has a persecution fantasy. He thinks being called out makes him a martyr.

What is biting the hand that feeds him? What is #besthubbyevah? What is interpretive dance for Jesus? What is eating mushy beige food?

Annnd with that, my hopes for Abbie are dashed.

Are hydrangeas considered cut flowers now? I’ve only seen them sold as plants, but it’s not like it comes up much. I shop in nurseries not florists.

Seriously. That should be one of the few perks of a zillion siblings and family “businesses” that involve heavy equipment: you should never have to hire a moving company.

Okay, I’m really twelve, but having him shill for anything involving a “root wad” is a tad bizarre.

Kinda like matter and doesn’t matter

It won’t last that long. I give the HVAC system five years tops and expect plumbing issues in oh, about a month if not before. Then there’s the inevitable mold problem. If in fact Derrick is smart enough to recognize that endless blessings are a good way to end up destitute and is preventing it, good for him. And there’s something I never thought I’d say.

Gay. I can’t imagine what living that lie must be like for him. I hope he’s the Duggar who breaks out at last.

Too nutritious for the Duggardome...

Eight exclamation points! That’s so precious! Shut up, Duggars. Just shut up.

Oh, Anna. You poor ignorant dumbshit.

When her headship tells her to, of course.

Okay I zoomed in and now I’m sorry. Shouldn’t that be “Oreo is risen”? (Seriously, most people who start creating religious dioramas out of doughnuts and random snack goods would be carted off for a psych eval by concerned relatives.)

Is everything from C&L a washed out color and a sad limp fabric?

Thank you. I thought exactly the same thing and couldn’t quite figure out how to say it politely!

Damn duck lips look stupid.

Too long. Precooked rice, precooked broccoli...all it really needs is to warm up enough to melt the pasteurized processed pseudo-cheese product and heat up the hydrolyzed protein saline solution soup.

Is Jill the only one who attempts to post recipes? Not that I can recall (the reality is that I couldn’t pick any of them correctly out of a lineup) but it seems like Jinger and Jessa don’t bother.

What’s the Gothard line on padded underwire pushups?

The DuggarDome...

One pound of broccoli (with stalks) is three medium stalks. Mr. Wiser and I eat that in one meal. So this is cheese/rice/soup.....(broccoli) goop. And if you cook precooked broccoli that long, it’s pretty much disintegrated anyway. ETA: Well, I’m wrong. Because nowhere in this recipe does it say to chop the broccoli. So it could be just three stalks of broccoli entombed in the cheese/rice/soup goo. Poor vegetable never had a chance.

I live in the Pacific Northwest now where Starbucks is considered plasma. We were in there a few months back on the patio where you could hear the drivethru, which is always jammed. Someone reeled off one of those insanely complex orders (grande almond milk half pump caramel chai blablabla). I swear it took nearly a minute. There was a pause, and then the employee said, “Did you want coffee in that?” I laughed the rest of the day. Back to Jessa. I think she’s figured out that clicks are clicks, hence the trolling.