Oldernowiser

That man is gay. Poor, poor guy...what a life. ETA: I want to buy him a one-way ticket to Mykonos.

I was just teasing a bit...they both do have that scruffed thing going. Aaron’s looks a tiny bit more deliberate, but not by much.

While I’m not a big fan of Mr. Rodgers, who is overhyped to the max, he does have a job. So any similarity ends there.

Kids look cute. Jill looks pretty. Derrick looks homeless. I do not need to see them in an awkward lip lock. Or in any lip lock. Ever. Is it just me or is the celebration of the resurrection of the purported savior of mankind NOT the time to be shilling your cheap-ass clothing line?

Yikes. It’s an Arkansian Muumuu. At least it’s an actual color...a too-loud, overwhelming color, but it’s a small step up from that washed-out stuff Jill’s been hawking lately.

Well, at least it fits a little better. It also makes her look like she’s 45 and running a crystals and shakra healing booth* at the Farmers Market, but maybe she was going for that. (* Seriously. Add a pair of pink reading glasses on a chain and some Birkenstocks and she’s reiki-ing all over you.)

It will be covered up with drywall pretty soon (which makes it even sillier in my mind) but still... My bet is it’s a rent-to-own deal with builder holding the loan and Mama Dillard co-signing.

Where to begin on that sad, sad, sad romper. Boobs too low, belt too high, length all wrong, color could not wash her out more, adds fifteen pounds to her hips... I give up. Girl, buy an iron. It wouldn’t have helped much but at least you would look like you had a semblance of a clue. And this vendor is paying her for this? And while I’m pontificating, it works like this: the second you ask strangers for money, how you spend it becomes fair game.

I’m sorry, Heathen. I’ve been involved in several rescue groups and shelters over the years and it seems like animal rescue attracts the best, most kind-hearted people AND the craziest attention-seeking narcissists and not much in between. But the kitties thank you. Back to topic... I sincerely hope the Dullards don’t get a pet now that they’re moving.

Some of your shadier realtors will put “sold” signs on several properties in a development just to make it look like the houses are in demand. Mr. Wiser has owned a real estate company for a long time and at this point, he’s seen everything.

Ferkle has one true talent: obsequious toadying.

Okay, back up. Did she ever actually say they bought a house? Because I could see some shady Godly construction company renting it to them on the cheap and using the Duggar name to lend whatever christian brand equity it still has to market their shoddy houses.

Okay, so this is as far down Stalkerville Road as I ever plan to go, but I googled and found the 3BR/2BA version of that same house in that town. It’s “eligible for zero down payment” and is $203k. Zillow’s estimated monthly cost at zero down is a little over $1200 including taxes and insurance. Excuse me. Must go shower.

If it’s a builder-owned project, it’s generally a whole lot easier to get financing from a builder than a bank or mortgage company. If they had even 5% as a down payment and someone to cosign they could probably get the house, especially if the builder thinks they add some kind of freakshow/religious branding value.

“P.S. We’re going to need a little help when we move to L.A. A million should do it...$900k for a house in a gated community and the rest is for Jer’s new ministry clothes. Thanks bye.”

My notes to contractors were much briefer: “Why is the overhead heater fan now installed in the laundry closet and not master bath? Washer doesn’t need to be kept warm.” ”Why is there not a single smoke detector in the garage? The inspection is tomorrow, right?” “Framing looks great. However, there is no door opening for the master bathroom???” We have built houses four times in various places. After this last (see above), I told Mr. Wiser the next move is into an urn. I am NOT going through this again. Back to topic...this could be why Jill has aged ten years lately. God knows I did.

If she’s paying subcontractors by the hour to spend time scribbling Bible verses on walls, she is first, stupid, and second, is going to be very unhappy when shit starts to fail. The good subs are in, done and out and onto the next. That’s how they get a reputation that gets them the McMansion custom projects and keeps them in $75k custom pickup trucks.

That has low builder-grade tract house written all over it, from those photos, at least. It’s relatively easy to get into a new subdivision while it’s being slapped up and in many areas, it’s cheaper than an older home with an established neighborhood and landscaping. They may have a balloon payment scheduled to coincide with Derrick’s fabulous lawyer income starting. It’s semi-custom, if that. If in fact it’s a stand-alone project, her contractor is cheaping out big time. Home Depot sells nicer stuff.

Well, that certainly applies in the Duggar family! 😉

Jinger better not stand too close to him. From what I understand, God hates a liar. What.a.total.bullshitter. So now in his mind he married down? Even a Duggar deserves better than this.

So how is it that men are the only ones qualified to be headships and leaders yet simultaneously they’re so pathetically enslaved to their dicks that they can’t be trusted with a cell phone?

It doesn’t always work that way. My niece is gorgeous and her husband is more so. Their baby was...really really not. Kid’s head looked like a light bulb. My secret name for him was Baby Potato Head. But it’s good that Jessa’s kids are pretty. She’ll like them better.

When did Furkle shave his scruff?

If I’m a WeHo drag queen, I figure out which days TLC films The Furkles and show up for services with my fabulous beglittered self dialed up to twelve, along with my ten closest gal pals. The hymn singing would be hugely improved, at the very least.

Why does that blurb sound like it was written by an eight-year-old?