Line Items: West Wing Quotes

[Zola]

If have learnt many things from The West Wing, all of them good and informative. However, there's a word I had never of up until watching the show, and it was uttered by Josh to Toby in S3 I think.

Josh was head-over-heels with Amy, and out of no where came "I am ensorcelled!"  

I had to look it up of course, and now I can't stop using it in formal/informal conversation purely because I too am now very much ensorcelled!

[AriAu]

"You'll denounce these people, Al. You'll do it publicly. And until
you do, you can all get your fat asses out of my White House."

There really is a West Wing quote for just about everything

Edited August 14, 2017 by AriAu

[bettername2come]

Bartlet: Listen, I know we're here for a serious purpose, for a sober purpose, but I wanted to say I've never been a part of a street gang before, and that's basically what we are -- a pretty well-financed one -- but anyway, I wanted to say it feels good. And I think when we're done with this meeting, I think we should go out and get girls and, I don't know, maybe knock over a fruit stand or something.

Leo: Okay.

Bartlet: We're going to need to learn to sing and dance.

[Zola]

From "MANCHESTER Pt II" (season 3:2)

Opening scene in a barn at Bartlet's farm; senior staff, the President, Leo and Bruno's team are working/arguing over Jed's presidential candidacy draft speech.

 

Quote

BRUNO - Yeah, um listen up! I've been thinking it might not be such a bad idea to lock you all in here and set the place on fire. We have 48 hours before we kick off this campaign. We will work hard. We will work well. We will work together. Or so help me, mother of God, I will stick a pitchfork so far up your asses, you will, quite simply, be dead! 

Wonderful delivery by Ron Silver, as always.

[BoogieBurns]

On 8/15/2017 at 5:28 PM, bettername2come said:

Bartlet: Listen, I know we're here for a serious purpose, for a sober purpose, but I wanted to say I've never been a part of a street gang before, and that's basically what we are -- a pretty well-financed one -- but anyway, I wanted to say it feels good. And I think when we're done with this meeting, I think we should go out and get girls and, I don't know, maybe knock over a fruit stand or something.

Leo: Okay.

Bartlet: We're going to need to learn to sing and dance.

Which episode?

[bettername2come]

2 minutes ago, BoogieBurns said:

Which episode?

College Kids, 4x03

[bettername2come]

Bartlet: Every once in a while... every once in a while, there's a day with an absolute right and an absolute wrong, but those days almost always include body counts. Other than that, there aren't very many unnuanced moments in leading a country that's way too big for ten words. I'm the President of the United States, not the President of the people who agree with me. And by the way, if the left has a problem with that, they should vote for somebody else.

4x06 Game On

Toby: You wanna tempt the wrath of whatever from high atop the thing?

4x07, Election Night

Can you tell I'm posting as I watch?

Edited August 17, 2017 by bettername2come

[Kohola3]

God, that first statement is so apropos for today.

[BW Manilowe]

33 minutes ago, bettername2come said:

Bartlet: Every once in a while... every once in a while, there's a day with an absolute right and an absolute wrong, but those days almost always include body counts. Other than that, there aren't very many unnuanced moments in leading a country that's way too big for ten words. I'm the President of the United States, not the President of the people who agree with me. And by the way, if the left has a problem with that, they should vote for somebody else.

4x06 Game On

Toby: You wanna tempt the wrath of whatever from high atop the thing?

4x07, Election Night

Can you tell I'm posting as I watch?

The quote from 4x07 is actually "You wanna tempt the wrath of the whatever from high atop the thing?" Yes, I'm probably being pedantic or something but it's 1 of my favorite quotes, if not my most favorite quote, from the show & I like accuracy.

[bettername2come]

"Swiss Diplomacy"

Bartlet: Have her beheaded for my birthday. 

[bettername2come]

"Holy Night"

Zoey: You are the worst kind of snob.

Charlie: Well, I think there are snobs that are way worse, but thank you. 

 

"Guns Not Butter"

Bartlet: [to Charlie] I'm meeting with a cow. I shouldn't worry about it.

C.J. It's a photo-op with a cow, sir. It's not a sit-down. 

Bartlet: I like your sass.

CJ: You've got a very nice sass, yourself, sir. 

 

Will: There's bicycles and goats in my office!

 

Danny: Why are democrats always so bumfuzzled?

[bettername2come]

Inauguration Part 2

Bartlet: Aren't you afraid that one day I'm just going to kick your ass like it's never been kicked?

 

Bartlet: Okay. You know what? Washington didn't bring his own Bible, he just assumed one would be provided, which, frankly, isn't unreasonable. Guy wants you to swear an oath on a Bible, he ought to be packing a Bible. Washington had someone get one from across the street....Just common courtesy I think. "Place your hand on this Bible. And, oh, can I use your Bible?" That's not right.

 

Charlie: I took off my coat to show my love for Zoey.

Danny: Wow.

Charlie: I'd take off my shirt too, but it's inappropriate with a tuxedo.

Danny:  Not if we're at Chipendales.

[bettername2come]

"Commencement"

Agent Wesley: You know I can kill you and just make up the reason why I did, right?

 

Andy: You're sad, and you're angry, and you're not warm. You take forever to trust someone.

Toby: Well, my father used to kill people for a living, so, generationally, the Zieglers are making lots of progress. I wouldn't worry about the kids.

 

"25"

Toby: There's no one in this room who wouldn't rather die then let you down, you know.

[PeterPirate]

From Night Five:

Ainsley - I don't think that whatever sexuality I may have diminishes my power. I think it enhances it.

Celia - And what kind of feminism do you call that?

Ainsley - My kind.

Ginger - It's called Lipstick Feminism. I call it Stiletto Feminism.

Sam - Stilettos?

Ainsley - You're not in enough trouble already?

Sam - I suppose I am.

[bettername2come]

Disaster Relief

Josh: I feel good. I have my health, I have central air - in the hierarchy of pain and suffering, I really can't complain. I mean, I will...

I've never related to Josh more strongly than in that moment. 

Leo: Maybe the camel's back was already broken, but you gave him the straw. And then you drove over him - with a tank!

[PeterPirate]

Some classic lines from various episodes, which have come to mind for no particular reason:

Mallory - I'm sorry to be rude, but are you a moron?

Mandy - It's Puccini. Wagner's German, and you're a moron.

Marbury - The NMD is an absurdly wasteful military boondoggle that will never produce a working missile. It violates any number of elements of the ABM treaty. And any argument you make in its defense will surely be moronic.

Bartlet - When he was 19, sure. She dumped a Rhodes scholar for this guy. Zoey left Charlie for the Frog. Ellie and the guitar player with the purple van. My children choose morons. 

Alana - When you hire somebody like me you take on a responsibility to my reputation. If you decide you want to go down in some quasi-orgasmic blaze of self-pity and self-destructive self-aggrandizing attempted glory, all anyone's going to say is "How did Alana Waterman, that smart, tough, savvy Washington infighter, let her client do something so crushingly, boneheaded moronic as to get himself six years in jail?"

[AriAu]

Quote

 

Some classic lines from various episodes, which have come to mind for no particular reason:

Mallory - I'm sorry to be rude, but are you a moron?

Mandy - It's Puccini. Wagner's German, and you're a moron.

Marbury - The NMD is an absurdly wasteful military boondoggle that will never produce a working missile. It violates any number of elements of the ABM treaty. And any argument you make in its defense will surely be moronic.

Bartlet - When he was 19, sure. She dumped a Rhodes scholar for this guy. Zoey left Charlie for the Frog. Ellie and the guitar player with the purple van. My children choose morons. 

Alana - When you hire somebody like me you take on a responsibility to my reputation. If you decide you want to go down in some quasi-orgasmic blaze of self-pity and self-destructive self-aggrandizing attempted glory, all anyone's going to say is "How did Alana Waterman, that smart, tough, savvy Washington infighter, let her client do something so crushingly, boneheaded moronic as to get himself six years in jail?"

 

Can I like this one more than once!

I knew it was one of AS's favorite insults, but that is a fabulous summary-did someone do a mash-up of them yet...if not, I hope that someone more technologically gifted than me will and soon.

Didn't CJ have a rant where she calls the reporter who criticized her dress "a moron, but not that big a moron"....or was that idiot.

 

EDITED because-she called Sherri Wexler stupid and not a moron...my bad. I think there is a difference since a smart person, one with a high IQ, could still be a fucking moron.

Edited October 10, 2017 by AriAu

[BW Manilowe]

15 hours ago, AriAu said:

Can I like this one more than once!

I knew it was one of AS's favorite insults, but that is a fabulous summary-did someone do a mash-up of them yet...if not, I hope that someone more technologically gifted than me will and soon.

Didn't CJ have a rant where she calls the reporter who criticized her dress "a moron, but not that big a moron"....or was that idiot.

 

EDITED because-she called Sherri Wexler stupid and not a moron...my bad. I think there is a difference since a smart person, one with a high IQ, could still be a fucking moron.

At least 1 of the lines by CJ was "You're stupid, but you're not that stupid." 

[AriAu]

Quote

At least 1 of the lines by CJ was "You're stupid, but you're not that stupid." 

Yup, and that is the line I thought had moron.

[Melancholy]

10 hours ago, BW Manilowe said:

At least 1 of the lines by CJ was "You're stupid, but you're not that stupid." 

It was "You're stupid but you're not stupid, you know what I'm saying." Like Sherri knows how to make gossipy hay but she doesn't know how to cover actual news like a veto override. 

[BW Manilowe]

2 hours ago, Melancholy said:

It was "You're stupid but you're not stupid, you know what I'm saying." Like Sherri knows how to make gossipy hay but she doesn't know how to cover actual news like a veto override. 

I stand corrected. Thanks. Obviously I need to find time for a binge watch to refresh my memory on the classic lines.

[AriAu]

Is there an episode where a character says "I have seen enough to know I have seen enough"? Yes, I know that Dana Whitaker said it in "What Kind of Day Has It Been" on Sports Night, but I could have sworn I heard it said by some character in TWW and I can't remember where....it's not like AS ever reuses his dialogue, titles even character names or anything.

Yes, it has been the type of day where I  used the line....and right now I just want one good thing to happen.

[Eeksquire]

"Science is science to everybody" - Toby

...
"And I believe that science is science to everybody, I just don't believe you can sell that." - Al Kiefer

Man, has that ever been more true?

[irisheyes]

ITSOTG 1

Zoey: Mom's on her way

Bartlet: Mom's gonna be pretty pissed. 

[Aethera]

I'm rewatching College Kids today, and Fitz comes into the Oval Office while CJ is there:

Fitz: Claudia Jean.

CJ: Sailor.

Leo: You're really gonna - in the Oval Office?

 

CJ has chemistry with absolutely everyone. 

[SingleMaltBlonde]

This came up for me on youtube...Donna and Sam from Somebody's Going to Emergency...

 

DONNA It was people pushing paper around fifty years ago. Why does it matter?

SAM It was high treason, and it mattered a great deal! This country is an idea, and one that's lit the world for two centuries and treason against that idea is not just a crime against the living! This ground holds the graves of people who died for it, who gave what Lincoln called the last full measure of devotion. Of fidelity. You understand the last full measure of devotion to... Treason against them is... [almost crying]

[PeterPirate]

More classic lines from various episodes.  

Josh - Lady, the God you pray to is too busy being indicted for tax fraud.

Leo - Stuart, yours is my favorite. Your boss has a daughter who was pulled over with 31 grams of coke and charged with intent to deliver. More over, she's just been indicted by a federal grand jury in Greenville, South Carolina, along with 18 other people for conspiracy to distribute.

Josh - If this was stolen I don't want Sam to end up like the girlfriend of an indicted Senator.

Bartlet- We want to ask the Justice Department to indict the Qumari Minister of Defense.

Josh - So, how are you?
Toby - Indicted. You?

Josh - This must all sound pretty trivial.
Toby - You mean to someone under indictment? It does concentrate the mind, just a little.

[Aethera]

I'm just watching Red Mass. So many good bits in here. My favorite is after Agent Casper tells them that they took the house in Iowa and it went flawlessly:

Bartlet: "Mike, pick yourself out a daughter, my oldest is married but I can have it annulled, the Pope said he'd do it, I swear to God."

 

And I forgot to stop Netflix and it rolled into Debate Camp, and I got this gem, as they're trying out answers to debate questions:

Bartlet: "What's wrong with 'Bite Me'?"

CJ: "We'd lose."

Toby: "Not in New Jersey."

[AriAu]

Quote

 

I'm just watching Red Mass. So many good bits in here. My favorite is after Agent Casper tells them that they took the house in Iowa and it went flawlessly:

Bartlet: "Mike, pick yourself out a daughter, my oldest is married but I can have it annulled, the Pope said he'd do it, I swear to God."

 

And I forgot to stop Netflix and it rolled into Debate Camp, and I got this gem, as they're trying out answers to debate questions

 

2 of my favorites on re-watches. Not classic TWW, but highly enjoyable and re-watchable.

[Mrs. DuRona]

When Toby meets his children for the first time. "Leo was right".  Made me burst out crying.  

[Driad]

It's turkey pardoning day today, so ...

C.J. Cregg: They sent me two turkeys. The more photo-friendly of the two gets a Presidential pardon and a full life at a children's zoo. The runner-up gets eaten.
President Josiah Bartlet: If the Oscars were like that, I'd watch.

[PeterPirate]

From Take Out The Trash Day:

Sam - There is a town in Alabama that wants to abolish all laws except the Ten Commandments.

[AriAu]

From College Kids (and other places, but I clearly remember CJ saying it in College Kids)

Decisions are made by those who show up

[PeterPirate]

From The Drop-In: 

Donna - Ambassador Marbury was just telling me about how royal men are schooled in the ways of courtship. King George III, for example, sailed his bride up the river Thames to music that was specially composed.
Leo - Yeah. That was just a few years before we opened up a big can of whoopass on him at Yorktown.   

 

And:

Marbury - Well I don't live in Alaska, I live in England, which by the way is not protected by the shield. Not that anywhere else is at the moment, either. You've also forgotten that we're both signatories to the '72 ABM treaty, which the shield is in clear violation. You've forgotten that it will compel China to strengthen their nuclear arsenal. You've forgotten that the European allies have strong reservations about the shield. And you've forgotten that it doesn't work.
Leo - You know what I haven't forgotten?  That we opened up a big can of whoopass on you at Yorktown.  

 

This post inspired by Season 2, Episode 8 of The Crown, which portrays JFK as an uncouth, doped-up womanizer.   

[PeterPirate]

From Posse Comitatus:

Bartlet - Why did you leave the White House?
Fiderer - Well, Mr. President, if you want to talk about getting screwed with your pants on, I guess I got pretty well doinked.
Bartlet - Charlie! 

 

And from 20 Hours In America:

Bartlet - You were strange the first time I met you, and you're strange now.
Fiderer - Hey, the first time you met me there was a good reason.
Bartlet -  What?
Fiderer - I was high.

 

This post also inspired by Season 2, Episode 8 of The Crown, which portrays Jackie Kennedy as a doped-up woman who says stupid things. 

Edited December 18, 2017 by PeterPirate

[aw86]

BOB We'd like the White House to pay a little more attention to UFOs.

SAM Are we paying any attention at all right now?

BOB No.

SAM Thank God. Like we don't have enough trouble with the First Lady and her Ouija board.

 

 

I thought of this when reading the NYT article about DOD funding for UFO research

[Guest]

Love this from Game On

Leo: There's no such thing as too smart. There's nothing you can do that's not going to make me proud of you. Eat 'em up. Game on.

[Zola]

A favourite from "In the Room" from season 6, and the ongoing fuss about burning the flag. It was great seeing Josh getting pushed off his high horse again!

Penn Jillette: What if we burned a flag, not in protest, but in celebration of the very freedoms that allow us to burn a flag - the freedoms that everyone who has ever worked in this magnificent building has pledged to preserve and protect?

Josh Lyman: Did you go to law school?

Penn Jillette: No, clown school.

[Crs97]

Sorry if I mentioned this one before, but with my kids I use this line a lot:  “I have no new information since the last time you asked me that question.”  Thanks, Toby (ITSOTG)!

[PeterPirate]

"How do you like them apples?"

That's what came into my head when a young person in my life recently told me she dumped her clingy, needy, suffocating boyfriend. 

 

ETA:  Ugh.  She took him back.  My children choose morons.  Every one.

Edited January 25, 2018 by PeterPirate

[Mom2twoNonna2-3]

On 6/24/2017 at 11:51 AM, Zola said:

If have learnt many things from The West Wing, all of them good and informative. However, there's a word I had never of up until watching the show, and it was uttered by Josh to Toby in S3 I think.

Josh was head-over-heels with Amy, and out of no where came "I am ensorcelled!"  

I had to look it up of course, and now I can't stop using it in formal/informal conversation purely because I too am now very much ensorcelled!

Aaron Sorkin must have loved this word, too. I recently rewatched The Newsroom and at least 3 times ensorcelled was used and I immediately thought of you, Zola.

[Zola]

10 hours ago, Mom2twoNonna2one said:

Aaron Sorkin must have loved this word, too. I recently rewatched The Newsroom and at least 3 times ensorcelled was used and I immediately thought of you, Zola.

haha! Thanks for thinking of me. Perhaps I will have that written on my tombstone "Here lies Zola, She is still ensorcelled. RIP"

I am pretty sure there are other Sorkin words from TWW that are equally fascinating, but I guess must have passed me by. Will try harder next time

[BW Manilowe]

11 hours ago, Mom2twoNonna2one said:

Aaron Sorkin must have loved this word, too. I recently rewatched The Newsroom and at least 3 times ensorcelled was used and I immediately thought of you, Zola.

The thing about Sorkin is he likes to reuse stuff--all or parts of character names, words, ep titles, etc.--from project to project. Like, all of the shows he's done for TV (Sports Night, The West Wing, Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip, & The Newsroom) have all had an episode titled What Kind of Day Has It Been?. In TWW, that was the S1 finale.

[Zola]

1 hour ago, BW Manilowe said:

The thing about Sorkin is he likes to reuse stuff--all or parts of character names, words, ep titles, etc.--from project to project. Like, all of the shows he's done for TV (Sports Night, The West Wing, Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip, & The Newsroom) have all had an episode titled What Kind of Day Has It Been?. In TWW, that was the S1 finale.

Typically, Oscar nominated "Molly's Game", is another Sorkin example of recycling character names; Molly being one of two babies born to Andrea Wyatt and Toby in The West Wing. I think there was also another Molly character from the same show who played Zoe's bodyguard in S4.

Edited January 28, 2018 by Zola

[Browncoat]

1 hour ago, Zola said:

Typically, Oscar nominated "Molly's Game", is another Sorkin example of recycling character names; Molly being one of two babies born to Andrea Wyatt and Toby in The West Wing. I think there was also another Molly character from the same show who played Zoe's bodyguard in S4.

Sorkin didn't pick the name Molly for the movie, though.  Molly Bloom was a real person.

[Zola]

49 minutes ago, Browncoat said:

Sorkin didn't pick the name Molly for the movie, though.  Molly Bloom was a real person.

Oops! My mistake

happy coincidence though

[kassygreene]

The baby Molly in TWW was named for the Secret Service Molly who was part of Zoe's protection detail and was killed when Zoe was kidnapped.  Toby & Andrea's twins were born that same night.

[BW Manilowe]

1 hour ago, kassygreene said:

The baby Molly in TWW was named for the Secret Service Molly who was part of Zoe's protection detail and was killed when Zoe was kidnapped.  Toby & Andrea's twins were born that same night.

As @kassygreene said, Toby & Andie's daughter, Molly, was named for a Secret Service agent who was on Zoey Bartlet's detail & killed when Zoey was kidnaped from that club the night she graduated from Georgetown (the same day Toby & Andie's twins were born). Molly's fraternal twin brother, Huck (full name Huckleberry), on the other hand, was named for Andie's grandfather.

[PeterPirate]

Sorkin likes to use "Bermuda" a lot.  There must be something iambically pentametric about it.  

[Driad]

From "He Shall From Time to Time" --

"We meant 'stronger' here, right?" 
"What's it say?" 
"'I'm proud to report that our country is stranger than it was a year ago.'" 
"That's a typo." 
"It could go either way."