S23.E01: Week 1 - Live Premiere

[tennisgurl]

Colton is shook by these bilingual girls lol 

[crgirl412]

Who knew sequins were back in??  Seriously, when did they come back in style? 

My God, these girls are gorgeous. 

[Armchair Critic]

He's so happy somebody paid attention to the fact he goes commando?

[tennisgurl]

Colton seemed more excited to see the dog than any of these chicks, which actually makes him super relatible. 

[Armchair Critic]

3 minutes ago, tennisgurl said:

Colton is shook by these bilingual girls lol 

He isn't the brightest bulb, I think any girl with some intellect is going to grow very tired of him.

[Mu Shu]

Catherine is fifty, right?

[tennisgurl]

Hahaha, all the girls just start showing dog pics. 

[saber5055]

Can't wait for Australian girl to tell him she's faking. Way to make an impression, yes.

Ugh, person with the old dog has fish lips. And you don't hand off an ancient dog to a stranger. Call the limo for her, too.

[EllenB]

I like Nicole, but they keep giving her THs, which is not a good sign.

[crgirl412]

Dog girl looks 35.  A very good 35 but still 35.

2 minutes ago, Mu Shu said:

Catherine is fifty, right?

is that dog girl??

[tennisgurl]

Fake accent girl is so gone. Who wants to be involved with a person who lied to you from second one?

[bosawks]

Apparently The Bachelor is the next step on the pageant circuit if you’re from Texas...

[Mu Shu]

1 minute ago, crgirl412 said:

Dog girl looks 35.  A very good 35 but still 35.

is that dog girl??

Yes.  She looks like Demi’s mother.  Yay,  mamas out of the state pen!

[dizzyd]

Aww, Lily and Court! Those kids are the real deal.

[Scarlett45]

48 minutes ago, tennisgurl said:

Maybe I just live under a rock, but is being a virgin THAT big of a deal? Yeah for a guy of his age and with his looks, its not what I would guess, but is it such a huge deal? People are acting like Colton was born on Saturn, not that he just hasn't stuck his dick into anyone yet. 

Or maybe they're focusing on the virgin thing because there is literally nothing else interesting about Colton? Almost like Colton is super boring...

This is going to sound awful but I’m thinking that Colton is an “everything but” (heterosexual version) of a Virgin. Of course that’s fine, he is 100% in charge of his sexual choices but it’s not that big of a sacrifice to be an “everything but”. 

[GracieK]

I’m part Croatian and I’ve been to Croatia so that’s basically my criteria right now.. Nina is my girl. Plus her boobies looked 🔥 in that dress 😂

[b2H]

The man has the IQ of a fish.  The bilinguals and the financial girl are way too smart for him.

 

ETA:  they can stop trying to make this live stuff happen.  Been a huge waste of time.  This isn’t why I watch this program.

Edited January 8, 2019 by b2H

[Scarlett45]

8 minutes ago, tennisgurl said:

Colton seemed more excited to see the dog than any of these chicks, which actually makes him super relatible. 

Colton seems nice but VERY genric. He’s good looking but in a bland Ken doll type of way. I’ll probably be impressed when I see him shirtless though. 

 

Fyi i did wash, condition, comb out and Dutch braid my hair. 😋

[Scarlett45]

Can someone help me- who is Colton? How’d he end up on The Bachelor?

[fireice13]

All I care about at this point is the dog. That poor thing being handed off to some stranger and watching its human walk away. I just want to be told the dog is fine and wasn't left wandering outside the mansion.

[alexa]

This is the most dragged out and boring premiere ever. Just show us the show please!  But since they are wasting so much time I went to both Trista and Ryan’s Instagram accounts. Beautiful family and beautiful pics. 

And please stop with the proposals!

Edited January 8, 2019 by alexa

[tennisgurl]

Colton is kind of like the guy that the woman in the romantic comedy is engaged to for most of the movie who hardly gets any screen time or development, who she leaves at the altar for the main character who comes running down the aisle to tell her he loves her. He seems nice, is very handsome, but there doesent seem to be a whole lot to him. 

[Armchair Critic]

How romantic, proposing to his very pregnant girlfriend because they are on tv so why not

[Mu Shu]

1 minute ago, Scarlett45 said:

Can someone help me- who is Colton? How’d he end up on The Bachelor?

He is a virgin from Becca’s season, no one knows why he’s the bachelor.  He’s pretty dull.  I think he played football, but not pro.

[EllenB]

1.  So for the live crap, the women dress to the nines but the men look like they just came in from taking out the garbage.  Got it.

2.  What's with the incredibly nasty cheek makeup on so many young women?  It looks like some kind of radiation burn that glows in the dark.

4 minutes ago, tennisgurl said:

Colton is kind of like the guy that the woman in the romantic comedy is engaged to for most of the movie who hardly gets any screen time or development, who she leaves at the altar for the main character who comes running down the aisle to tell her he loves her. He seems nice, is very handsome, but there doesent seem to be a whole lot to him. 

He's Roy from The Office.

[saber5055]

1 minute ago, alexa said:

And please stop with the proposals!

These make me want to vomit. But I guess Fleiss can say he's responsible for those hookups so why not.

1 minute ago, Armchair Critic said:

How romantic, proposing to his very pregnant girlfriend because they are on tv so why not

Why not, because he's a dickwad loser. And now everyone everywhere (who watches this dreck, hello everyone!) knows it.

Fake Accent Woman is doing a TERRIBLE Aussie accent. Not even close. (This from a person with Aussie friends. Real Aussies.) She sucks. The Winter Bach Games couple from Australia were being VERY kind. I wish they would have told the truth. That would have been ... you know ... drah-matic!

15 minutes ago, bosawks said:

Apparently The Bachelor is the next step on the pageant circuit if you’re from Texas...

And Alabama!

[TheFinalRose]

I like the sloth better than Colton.  

[Mu Shu]

Colton sounds like he’s interviewing claim adjusters, and giving them an opening speech. 

[crgirl412]

Demi is 23!!!  There are a lot of young ones-again.   I wish they did one with older people as in at least 30. 

[TheFinalRose]

Wow is he dumb.

[Armchair Critic]

.To be honest none of the Bachelors have ever gotten me going but I guess they don't cast my type. Personality wise I probably would get along best with Nick because I think he is somewhat smart and has the sarcastic type of humor I like, but I don't find him physically attractive.

[bosawks]

You know, I didn’t really even care much about my own virginity so I’m hard pressed to care about Colton’s.

[tennisgurl]

Please tell me that was a slip of the tongue, and Colton doesent think that "Carolina" is an actual state. 

Not even "The Carolina's". Carolina. 

[GracieK]

Colton is a bit too polished with a little too much smiley happy energy at all the right moments.. it’s genuninely disingenuous.

[Mu Shu]

Just now, tennisgurl said:

Please tell me that was a slip of the tongue, and Colton doesent think that "Carolina" is an actual state. 

Not even "The Carolina's". Carolina. 

Just one big lump.  Like Colton.  Kid is special.

[Armchair Critic]

3 minutes ago, bosawks said:

You know, I didn’t really even care much about my own virginity so I’m hard pressed to care about Colton’s.

I can respect somebody who stays a virgin because of religious beliefs, but those who save it because they think it makes them stand out may end up finding out that once they lose it they don't have anything else that makes them special.

[tennisgurl]

Why are they making A Million Little Things look some super intense thriller and not the poor mans This Is Us that it is?

[TheFinalRose]

I am shocked, shocked that Sean Lowe has not shown up to give Colton advice yet. He wasn't even in the opening segment with Bachelor babies. Wut?

[Scarlett45]

2 minutes ago, Armchair Critic said:

I can respect somebody who stays a virgin because of religious beliefs, but those who save it because they think it makes them stand out may end up finding out that once they lose it they don't have anything else that makes them special.

I know some women who waited a long time because of low self esteem/social anxiety (being a Virgin was what they had to offer), and when they did decide to have sex they wondered why they waited so long, because they didn’t feel “less than” once they had sex (that they wanted to have). 

Of course no one should not do anything sexually they are not comfortable with, but you don’t get brownie points for how you were born. You were born a virgin! (I pointed this out that I couldn’t believe there was a word for the default state- thanks Hocus Pocus). 

[Mu Shu]

That’s Caitlyn and Jojo?  I thought that was that Rancic woman and Khloe Kardashian. 

[tennisgurl]

Change the music, and the sloth becomes the monster is a horror movie.

[Armchair Critic]

Dang this one already has her lips blown up which makes her look like one of those 40+ year olds from the Housewives shows

[Mu Shu]

This oneyanka girl needs to stop being the interruption police.  Catherine is my age and doesn’t need a lecturer 

 from a millennial. 

[saber5055]

3 minutes ago, Armchair Critic said:

Dang this one already has her lips blown up which makes her look like one of those 40+ year olds from the Housewives shows

That's Catherine The Old Dog Lady. TH says she's 26 but yeah, she looks 40+ easy. She'll be easy to pick out of a crowd though since her lips extend into the stratosphere. And her dress is HID-E-OUS! I usually don't care about clothes, including sequins, but that is one nasty dress.

Women, learn to JUST SAY NO! Someone needs to toss Catherine in the pool. "Oops! Sorry about that. Heh heh."

[EllenB]

Ugh, Catherine sounds like Krazy Krystal.

[tennisgurl]

I hate saying it, but those lips are SUPER distracting. Like, wow. 

[Armchair Critic]

Mrs. Ben....LOL at least he is having fun with it

[GracieK]

It’s the inflated lips, botoxed eyebrows, and cheek fillers all together that make her look like a middle aged housewife... it doesn’t matter if you are young or more mature, that amount of work is going to make you look the same way.. like a gelatinous blob fish

[saber5055]

LOL, the blob fish made me laugh for sure. Blob fish. No kidding!

I wish for once the Bach would tell interrupters like Lip Lady "sorry, not now. See ya later." THAT would be a golden moment.

Who is this First Rose person?

[Ms Blue Jay]

29 minutes ago, Mu Shu said:

This oneyanka girl needs to stop being the interruption police.  Catherine is my age and doesn’t need a lecturer 

 from a millennial. 

35, if she is 35, is still a millennial.  Millennials are born 1981-1996, this is usually agreed upon.

Wait - 26?  Is she supposed to be 26?  Okay, even moreso a Millennial.  

24 minutes ago, tennisgurl said:

I hate saying it, but those lips are SUPER distracting. Like, wow. 

Why hate saying it?  I wish people were more honest about plastic surgery.  I mean come on, it's creepy.

Edited January 8, 2019 by Ms Blue Jay