Mistresses - General Discussion

[LaChavalina]

Harry meets Joss (now at an outside table) and tells her that her mom's ship has finally docked in Finland -- really ?  The Baltic isn't that big, and they announced she was on a cruise there 10 episodes ago. 

But it takes so long to sail around the fjords!

 

They managed to bring back Toni, Daniel, Dom, and Zack for one episode each, and they really couldn't be bothered to bring back the actress who played the mother?

[ottoDbusdriver]

I would have preferred Ari as the fourth woman in the series.  She's certainly the most mature woman on the show, though being a lead would ensure some level of stupidity.

 

Count me in for this.  They can kill off Calista anytime and somehow get Ari closer to the rest of the group.

 

But it takes so long to sail around the fjords!

 

Nice.

[formerlyfreedom]

Season Finale!
 

Just as Joss gets her freedom, Harry is presented with an exciting new job opportunity that will impact a future with her. As soon as Scotty leaves Los Angeles, Marc disappears, causing April to finally realize her true feelings. Vivian‘s illness takes a turn for the worse, leaving Karen adrift and unsure of the future. Joss receives a confusing gift from Calista but when she denies sending it, Joss is sent down the rabbit hole to find out if the real killer might be on the loose.

[ottoDbusdriver]

Just as Joss gets her freedom

 

So, I guess Calista's confession removes all doubt if Joss was a co-conspirator, but does Joss really get off scot-free -- she didn't call police after finding Luca's body, and she fled the scene.

 

Harry is presented with an exciting new job opportunity that will impact a future with her.

 

Hopefully Harry gets a business opportunity out of town with Ari and is written out of the show, because no one really cares.

 

As soon as Scotty leaves Los Angeles, Marc disappears, causing April to finally realize her true feelings.

 

Despite the fact that Marc hid his fall off the wagon from her and he's a bit sketchy, April realizes her "true feelings" for him since he is the only guy living in her house at the time. Because April continues to make terrible decisions about her love-life.

 

Vivian‘s illness takes a turn for the worse, leaving Karen adrift and unsure of the future.

 

So, if Vivian dies will Karen continue to bang Alec ? How is Karen's future uncertain, because she definitely knows that she's having a baby -- or will she decide to terminate the pregnancy because Karen won't be able to give the baby to Vivian to raise with Alec ?

 

Joss receives a confusing gift from Calista but when she denies sending it, Joss is sent down the rabbit hole to find out if the real killer might be on the loose.

 

For starters, how would Calista be sending gifts from jail ?  Joss is going to put as much effort into finding the "real killer" as O.J. did.   I hope Joss going down the rabbit hole doesn't involve any more bizarre fantasy sequences like that "What Might Have Been" nonsense they wasted an entire episode on.

Edited August 30, 2015 by ottoDbusdriver

[KaveDweller]

Despite the fact that Marc hid his fall off the wagon from her and he's a bit sketchy, April realizes her "true feelings" for him since he is the only guy living in her house at the time. Because April continues to make terrible decisions about her love-life.

 

Character X continues to make terrible decisions about her love-life could be the tagline for this show.

[Scout Finch]

I can't stand Ari. She acts as if she's so irresistible that Harry automatically wants and thinks about her all the time. I'm gagging at the thought of them together, which I'm sure will somehow happen in the finale.

[LaChavalina]

April and Marc: Still not feeling it. Also, Machu Picchu is not a city and does not have direct flights. #knowledge

 

Joss: Underwhelming cliffhanger. If there is a season 4, they obviously won't start it with someone shooting her dead. What's the point? And her mom and Savi are still AWOL because, reasons.

 

Karen/Vivian: Actually the only storyline I cared about in the end. If the show gets renewed (and that's a big if), perhaps Vivian's influence will make Karen a better character.

[ottoDbusdriver]

And we're back for the season finale.  We left of with Calista confessing to the murder of Luca, and pickup with Joss getting out of jail and Harry is there to pick her up.

 

April and Marc argue about his following off the wagon.  Marc can't understand why April is taking his slip so personally -- they just went through all this with April's mother, is Marc just that clueless, or maybe drunk ?

 

Oh no, Rocco Dispirito is in the credits -- that means his douchiness is going to ruin this otherwise fine show. </sarcasm>

 

Karen and Alec are waiting at the hospital for news of Vivian, who is now awake but is experiencing liver failure.  Alec chews out the doctor because he didn't know she was sick.

 

Harry and Joss are finished banging -- I hope Joss had a shower first after getting out of jail, but her hair appears exactly the same as when she got out so probably not.  Ewwww !!  And why is Joss' face so red in certain bed scenes ?  It looks like she's been in a sauna, but cut to another view and she's wearing makeup.

 

A guard approaches Calista's cell about a visitor who is apparently her new lawyer, but she sends the guard away.  Calista hands a wad of cash to a prisoner about something illegal -- since when are prisoners allowed to keep money in their cells ?

 

Why is Joss standing on the chair in the middle of the restaurant for a 3 person toast ?  It's so stupid because she has to hunch over to even look at Karen or April.

 

Karen has to bail from lunch because Vivian is still dying, but Alex has banished her from the hospital.  Since when can doctors enact that ?  And April explains to Joss about her fight with Marc.

 

Harry shows up to a restaurant in a blue suit to meet his Imperial Grand Douchebag, Rocco Di Spirito.  Harry explains why he wants to work with Rocco, but Rocco explains that they will be touring through Europe tasting and cooking merrily along.  Harry is taken aback because he thought it was a web series, but now it's a 13 episode Food Network show and he will be gone for a year.

 

Joss comes home to Karen's apartment from a shopping spree -- and Harry calls and wants to meet Joss at the new house, but he doesn't tell her about the new gig.  Joss opens the door to the apartment and discovers a huge gift basket with a card from the offices of Calista Raines -- and a message that we don't get to see.  Why wouldn't they show the message ?

 

Karen visits Vivian at the hospital since Alec is gone -- but what about Alec's big award ?  Is that just being dropped ?  Vivian weirdly asks Karen if her boobs are sore, and wants to grope her stomach before passing out.  Is it still going to be a 3-parent baby ?

 

Scotty and his mom say their goodbyes, and as she goes to leave Scotty's mom tells April that Marc is in love with her.  April is completely clueless about that fact.

 

Joss confronts her lawyer and tries to get a restraining order against Calista.

 

Marc tells Harry he's quitting Wunderbar, and heading to Macchu Picchu or something, and tells Harry about his fight with April.

 

April comes home to find a note from Marc telling her that he is sorry he let her down and has left for good (yah, right).  Did Marc drive away in the RV ?  They arrived in an RV so if he didn't drive it away, it should still be in April's driveway.

 

Joss and Harry argue about Calista's gift basket while Harry explains about the deal with Rocoo, and Joss pushes him to take it.

 

Vivian codes out and the doctor's kick Karen out of the room -- you know, since she's not really family.  I can't believe that the doctor is telling Karen about Vivian's condition -- regardless, there are privacy laws about this stuff.  If Alec is there, different story -- and where the hell is Alec ?  Out picking up his award ?

 

Joss and April discuss Marc because April finally realizes that she loves Marc too.  April literally asks "how did this happen ?" and "How did I miss this ?" -- it's because you are an idiot.  April tries to call Marc but his mailbox is full, so they decide to go to Wunderbar to surprise him, but Joss gets a text from Calista that says "Hope You're Enjoying Your Freedom".  Obviously it would have to have been sent from Calista's phone, so who has Calista's phone ?  Joss decides to meet April at Wunderbar and leaves.

 

Karen finds Alex in his office and he's basically avoiding Vivian.  Nice guy.

 

Joss meets Calista in jail, and accuses Calista of taunting her, but the real killer is actually doing it.  And Calista wishes her the best with her freedom.  So Joss calls Calista's lawyer Patty and Patty basically tells Joss that Calista isn't sending her anything.

 

April is surprised that Marc quit Wunderbar -- really April, you find that surprising ?  You are an idiot.  Ari shows up to tell Harry that he has the gig with Rocco.

 

Harry meets Joss at another restaurant to tell her the good news, but that he won't go without Joss.  And as Harry grabs drinks to celebrate, Joss has a sad face but says everything is ok.  Which it's not.

 

Karen and Alec arrive at Vivian's bedside, Vivian wants to take a video of the three of them -- for the baby.

 

Joss is freaking out to the police detective on the phone about "the real killer".  Harry calls and he is already being followed around by a camera crew, and they are coming to pick up Joss.  Really ?  Don't they kind of have to arrange things first because they are going away for a year.  Joss finishes packing and calls the store that sold the basket but gets no info.

 

Vivian continues to die as Karen tells Vivian how much she loves her.  And she finally dies and Alec almost sleeps through it.

 

Seriously, April asks a customer service rep how to stop someone from getting on a flight -- she should be expecting a visit from the FBI shortly, because those calls are recorded. The rep. tells her to go to the airport -- because April is too stupid to think of this herself.  As she goes leave the house for the airport, she encounters Marc wo tells her that he sold the RV and that he loves her.

 

Joss is speeding through the city towards the airport, but changes her mind and texts Harry that she will be late as she arrives .... somewhere .. where she gets out and leaves her phone behind in the car.

 

Karen and Alex walk through the hospital parking lot in a daze to Karen's car, and Alex leaves as Karen gets in to her car and starts having a good cry.

 

Calista enters her cell where she meets the inmate that she previously palmed a wad of cash to -- who tells her that it's "under the pillow".  As Calista closes the cell door, she pulls a long piece of rope out from under her pillow. I think Calista is taking a knot-tying course in prison and needs some practice. </sarcasm>

 

As Harry goes to board the plane and can't get a hold of Joss and Ari tells him that she will have to catch the next commercial flight, Joss enters Calista's house for some reason and starts calling out for Maritza (I have no idea who that is anymore, nor do I care).  As extremely loud music plays, someone that looks like Calista appears only it's Wilson her assistant in Calista's clothes and a wig pointing a gun at Joss.  Wilson is the real killer, but why did Wilson kill Luca ?

 

The problem is they should have faded to black with Wilson pointing the gun at Joss ..... and then have a single shot ring out.  Instead, it just went to black.  Boring cliffhanger indeed.  Here's a question -- what compelled Joss to even go to Calista's house because it should have been locked up tight.  One owner is dead and the other is in prison.

 

ETA:

 

Joss is sent down the rabbit hole to find out if the real killer might be on the loose.

 

Who sent Joss "down the rabbit hole" ?  That would be nobody.  And what rabbit hole did she supposedly go down ?  She spent basically no time at all searching for the "real killer", she just visited Calista, phoned the detective, phoned the store and then went to Calista's house for no apparent reason.  What was Joss expecting to find at Calista's house that mandated that she go there -- and leave her phone in the car (when it is normally attached to her hip at all times) ?  

Edited September 5, 2015 by ottoDbusdriver

[chocolatine]

So Joss knows that a murderer may be after her, but instead of getting the hell out of dodge when she has the perfect opportunity, she goes back to Calista's house??? Of all the stupid things the women on this show have ever done, this has got to be the most stupid. She almost deserves to die after this.

 

Rocco DiSpirito casting for a 12-month traveling show at the last minute doesn't seem realistic. Wouldn't the Food Network want to screen-test the candidates first to make sure they're "good TV"?

 

Was Calista's cell door open with no guard around and her prison buddy coming and going as she pleases? WTF kind of prison is that?

 

I wish this had been the series finale, but with Joss actually getting on the plane with Harry. That would have had Joss and April with a happy ending and for Karen the implication that she'll get together with Alec after a few months of mourning Vivian and they would raise their baby together.

[ByTor]

Can't someone get the license plate of the car that was seen leaving Calista's driveway?

[ByTor]

Wilson is the real killer, but why did Wilson kill Luca ?

Because he and Calista were having an affair.

[luckyroll3]

Oy, Joss is an idiot.

And I don't understand why there was so much drama about Harry leaving for a year, when we all know that Joss ain't got no job!

I could get with the whole Calista "Crying Game" scenario if we didn't have to put up with all the other stupidness going on with this story line.

The Karen, Alec, Vivian story was so sad, especialy when Alec through himself into finding a cure because he couldnt deal with saying goodbye. Ugh! This stupid show isn't supposed to make me cry......anyone asks, I'll deny it!

[catrice2]

Sooooo....the best April can do is someone with no job, an RV and sleeps in a bunk bed in her house?  I'm sorry, there is something so child like about the character of Marc that I just can't.  Is RA taller than him?  It looked as if she was bending down to kiss him.

 

Missed most of this, so thanks for the recap.  we knew Wilson was the killer from the beginning...and that there was something wrong with him from the first time they showed him. 

 

I agree with someone above...who cares about Harry, or Joss for that matter?  In fact, I don't think there was one good story on the show from the recaps and the little I saw at the end.   What is sad is that I watched it for Alyssa Milano, but I don't know that it would have been better if she stayed and she was wise to jump off this train. 

[ribboninthesky1]

Aside from Mark being a recovering alcoholic with zero financial stability, the actors just didn't have the romantic kind of chemistry.  That kiss seemed quite awkward, like April was kissing her younger brother.  

 

I fast-forwarded through most of the Joss/Calista/Harry scenes for the last few episodes, only to watch her being too stupid to live YET AGAIN in the final minute or so of the show.  It's too much to hope for that she dies, but a girl can dream.   

 

My issue with Vivian's death is that I'm supposed to believe that Karen means as much as to Vivian as Alec - her husband, who's been by her side for how many years?  And through how much of her illness?  And Karen showed up how many weeks or months ago?  I'll stand alone and state I felt bad for him.  But assuming there's another season, at least Vivian won't be around.  Whether Alec is around or not, at least Karen can presumably raise her child in peace.     

[ottoDbusdriver]

Was Calista's cell door open with no guard around and her prison buddy coming and going as she pleases? WTF kind of prison is that?

 

Calista plead guilty to murder and should have already been moved to a prison since her sentence (even if she got a deal) would be years in duration, but apparently she was still in the local jail where Joss was able to easily visit and had more relaxed rules than prison -- even for murderers.

Edited September 5, 2015 by ottoDbusdriver

[ottoDbusdriver]

Because he and Calista were having an affair.

 

That's the confusing part -- since he was having an affair with Calista, why kill Luca and frame Calista for the murder ?  Eliminating Luca as competition is one thing, but then imprisoning Calista in the process makes no sense.  And it's not like Wilson is going to be able to keep Calista's house or take over her fashion line.

Edited September 5, 2015 by ottoDbusdriver

[ByTor]

That's the confusing part -- since he was having an affair with Calista, why kill Luca and frame Calista for the murder ?  Eliminating Luca as competition is one thing, but then imprisoning Calista in the process makes no sense.  And it's not like Wilson is going to be able to keep Calista's house or take over her fashion line.

You're right, that part doesn't make sense, but since the show doesn't make sense, I'm going with punishment for Calista not wanting to be with him.

Edited September 5, 2015 by ByTor

[luckyroll3]

Maybe he wants to BE Calista, and this was the way to get rid of her to assume her identity, henice his outfit. I don't know....he's just cray-cray.

[Free]

Character X continues to make terrible decisions about her love-life could be the tagline for this show.

 

It's more fitting than the actual title.

 

I could get with the whole Calista "Crying Game" scenario if we didn't have to put up with all the other stupidness going on with this story line.

 

It's also how she was awkwardly introduced, almost isolated from everyone else and was given an uninteresting storyline that pretty much didn't help to make her transition to the 4th main lead any smoother, if anything they made it harder for themselves going into next season especially since Joss/Calista's 'friendship' wasn't believeable at all.

 

The killer reveal and cliffhanger was a joke and it took me a while to figure out who Wilson was since he made no impression on me at all and it didn't matter which minor character they picked in the end.

[slayer2]

I still don't know who the killer is. Who was in the dress? Who is Wilson? And how do we know it's Wilson? All I heard was some growling voice at the end. 

Loved Marc and April, been shipping that since mid-season, I find Marc to be adorable (April is attracted to very handsome men) and sad to see that Vivian passed away.

Edited September 22, 2015 by slayer2

[slayer2]

Count me in for this.  They can kill off Calista anytime and somehow get Ari closer to the rest of the group.

 

 

Nice.

 

I like Ari and Calista. I appreciate "difficult" women with layers. With Calista it's that annoying accent and voice that I seem to have fallen into Stockholm Syndrome about. Now I actually really like it. I also still remember the actress from I Still Know What You Did Last Summer. I don't think she made it out of that one so maybe I feel a little sadness over her terrible, bloody demise, decades later.

 

 

Can't someone get the license plate of the car that was seen leaving Calista's driveway?

 

 

That was rhetorical right? I watch this show with a glass of wine and the smug satisfaction that I'm a veritable MENSA in relation to these women. 

Edited September 24, 2015 by slayer2

[ottoDbusdriver]

Per Deadline, Mistresses has been renewed for Season 4, except the Calista Raines character will not be returning.  So what was the point of bringing her on the show in the first place ?    

 

http://deadline.com/2015/09/mistresses-renewed-season-4-abc-jennifer-esposito-exit-1201550600/

 

I can't believe it was renewed after the terribleness of S3.

[dubbel zout]

the Calista Raines character will not be returning.  So what was the point of bringing her on the show in the first place ?

 

They probably thought she'd be better received than she was.

 

I can't believe it was renewed after the terribleness of S3.

 

Expectations must have been really low, and/or ABC has nothing it wants to put on instead.

[Free]

Expectations must have been really low, and/or ABC has nothing it wants to put on instead.

 

It seems like the other Summer shows didn't do well so it probably benefited from that.

 

Per Deadline, Mistresses has been renewed for Season 4, except the Calista Raines character will not be returning.  So what was the point of bringing her on the show in the first place ?

 

It seemed like she was being primed to be the 4th woman replacement for the main cast with her being in the S3 poster, but then it was messy, so I guess she either stays in prison or she gets out and leaves off screen after the cliffhanger is resolved like how Savi's was this season.

 

They probably thought she'd be better received than she was.

 

With the way she was introduced and how her storyline went, it seemed weird because the show itself didn't seem to know what to do with her.  She suddenly became bffs with Joss without actually knowing each other and then they got stuck with the lame nonevent murder mystery plot.

[ByTor]

When I saw there were new posts in the media thread, I just knew it had to be that the expected cancellation was already announced. I'm shocked.

[mamey2422]

Some season four news: http://tvline.com/2016/02/19/mistresses-season-4-alyssa-milano-not-returning-tabrett-bethell-cast/

[luckyroll3]

Well I hope all that means that they are done with Calista's stupid ass storyline and that it will all be resolved off screen.  Stupid show (that I can't stop watching).

[ottoDbusdriver]

Well I hope all that means that they are done with Calista's stupid ass storyline and that it will all be resolved off screen.  Stupid show (that I can't stop watching).

 

Let's just hope that Calista put that rope she had in her cell to good use.

[dubbel zout]

Saw a promo: The new season starts on May 30th.

[formerlyfreedom]

Quote

In the Season 4 opener, Joss testifies at Wilson's murder trial a year after her perilous encounter with him. Meanwhile, Marc has employment problems; Karen thinks her male nanny is making advances toward her; and April fears Lucy is growing up too fast.

 

 

[ottoDbusdriver]

Well that preview pretty much destroys any suspense from the S3 finale cliffhanger -- with Wilson dressed as Calista pointing a gun at Jos.

Marc has employment problems -- didn't he have like 10 different jobs last season, when he was doing all those odd jobs off the Internet, plus bartending during his recovery.

[Scout Finch]

For years I've referred to Big Brother as my summer crack, but when it comes to this show I am at a total loss to explain why I am compelled to watch this every year. At this point, the only character I'm interested in is Jess. I keep thinking Karen can't do anything stupider than she did the previous season, but somehow she always manages to dig herself into a bigger hole.

[luckyroll3]

This mess is back so soon?!? 

I'm guessing Australian dude is gone for good since they didn't mention him at all?

Karen will continue to be stupid, (insert Cardi B 3/4 turn) forevah!  And when hasn't Lucy acted like she was too grown?  Not looking forward to more disciplinary problems with her.

[chocolatine]

13 hours ago, Scout Finch said:

I keep thinking Karen can't do anything stupider than she did the previous season

... and then she goes and gets that dowdy mom haircut. I hope it's a wig and Yunjin Kim got to keep her gorgeous hair.

13 hours ago, luckyroll3 said:

I'm guessing Australian dude is gone for good since they didn't mention him at all?

Spoiler

He's in some of the other previews, so he's still there.

[Scout Finch]

8 hours ago, chocolatine said:

... and then she goes and gets that dowdy mom haircut. I hope it's a wig and Yunjin Kim got to keep her gorgeous hair.

  Hide contents

He's in some of the other previews, so he's still there.

She looks terrible!

[luckyroll3]

8 hours ago, chocolatine said:

... and then she goes and gets that dowdy mom haircut. I hope it's a wig and Yunjin Kim got to keep her gorgeous hair.

 

17 minutes ago, Scout Finch said:

She looks terrible!

I haven't seen any of the previews.  I hope the awful haircut is just for short time, because honestly, the only thing the character of Karen had going for her was her flawless look/wardrobe.

[Chasity]

This episode wasn't that great, but I really like that Harry and Joss got engaged. 

Next week's episode looks fun.

[PetuniaP]

I'm REALLY glad that next week's episode with deal with the squickiness that comes with Harry and Joss' engagement. I shipped these two heavily when they weren't together but I do admit to feeling a bit weird when he asked her to marry him.  I immediately thought of Savvy and how much this would crush her.... Joss literally lost her sister over this man. So it makes sense that the show characters would feel the same way as well. 

Karen continues to be the stupidest person on television. Her haircut is the most unflattering I have ever seen on TV, and that includes Scarlett's from Nashville. It's obvious that she'll end up hooking up with her manny even though it's a terrible idea...good childcare is almost impossible to find. 

[ottoDbusdriver]

Previously on Mistresses, stupid women making even stupider decisions.  Which is basically the same as last season and the season before that and the season before that -- except now with less Calista Raines (thank goodness she offed herself in prison).

Oh yeah, April was in love with homeless alchoholic Mark, Joss was sprung from prison only to be confronted by Wilson (dressed as Calista) pointing a gun at her as Harry left on a private plane bound for Europe with Rocco 'the Douchebag' Dispirito, and Karen was left carrying Alec's child after Vivien dies and Alec couldn't give two fucks about it.  And Savi is apparently still travelling the world pissed off at Joss for banging Harry.

One year later -- I was kind of hoping they would use the mice from 'Babe' to announce this.

Joss is testifying against Wilson in the trial for killing Luka.  And we get flashbacks to what happened after Wilson confronted Joss -- he tied her up to a chair but Joss freed herself and escaped, but Joss is lying in court because her story doesn't match the flashbacks.  Oh noooes !!!

On the way out of court, Joss is confronted by reporters only to be rescued by April and Karen -- umm, where's Harry ?  Still galavanting through Europe for his food/travel show ?  Karen looks absolutely terribly with that short haircut.  Who's watching Karen's child ?  And where is alcoholic Mark ?

Cut to April and Mark making out in a new cheaper smaller house -- how can April and homeless alcoholic Mark afford a new house ?  Apparently Lucy is being written out of the show flying to a leadership conference in Sacramento by herself but hopefully like Richie's big brother Chuck on Happy Days never comes back.  And no one ever speaks of her again.

And April is suffering from empty nest syndrome -- because Lucy is going away for two days.  Two days !!  Who writes this drivel ?

Karen has apparently written a book called 'Unleashed' about her passionate adventures with Alec and Vivien (only using pseudonyms like Rachel and Charlie) to her nanny/out of work actor Robert (played by Jerry O'Connell) -- who goes in for an inappropriate smooch while Karen is reading from her book in prep for some interview.

Homeless jobless alcoholic Mark (technically not homeless anymore) is giving guitar lessons to help pay the rent (because baby, our love won't pay the rent) -- seriously, is there anything that renaissance man Mark can't do.  But apparently he is going back to school at some point to become a counselor.  Why couldn't Mark double-major as a analyst/therapist -- just for the business cards ?   But there is a emergency at April's store -- apparently they ordered too many candles.  Oh my !!

Joss and Karen show up at April's shop to discuss the rotating supply of nannies Karen has gone through.  April tells Karen not to have sex with her manny, but honestly, has April watched this show -- Karen banged her patient, and her patient's son.  And then banged a bunch of random dudes.  And then banged Alec the husband of the dying woman, Vivien, that she donated her blood to and banged Alec and Vivien together.  Who hasn't Karen banged at this point ?  Because inappropriate relationships is basically Karen's thing.

And Harry has been in Europe for over a year but is coming home next week.  Really ?  And because Joss hasn't had sex in so long she describes her vagina as an 'echo chamber down there' -- which seems like an odd description.  Which reminds me of a very old and very inappropriate joke.

Since Harry has been gone Joss has built up a PR business -- how that evolves from party planning I have no idea.  And we learn that Karen's book as sex therapist is taking off.  But Joss has to dash away since the jury is back in Wilson's trial.  

And Wilson is guilty of 1st degree murder, but Joss is all angsty about it for some reason.  And as Joss is washing her hands in the courtroom washroom, the prosecuting attorney comes in and decides to make small talk (instead of, oh say, taking a dump so you know something's up), and asks Joss if she has "spoken to anyone" about the incidents related to the case and she announces that Calista isn't dead (damn it, can't this show do anything right) and Joss has only spoken to Calista a couple of times since she got out of the hospital.

Are they really going to go down the PTSD route with Joss ?  FFS !  I bet this will somehow screw up her relationship with Harry amongst other things.  And now Joss' assistant is asking about Joss and if she wants 'to talk'.  Seriously, no one asked Joss any of these questions in the intervening year. since she was attacked  No one ?

Oh no, April's assistant at the shop can't return the 800 candles.  What will they do ?  But April discovers that Lucy has a boyfriend based on her Instagram feed.  And no one cares.

As Karen returns home to a shirtless Robert, we find out that Karen named her daughter Vivien.  Can't wait until Vivien grows up and Karen tries to explain how she had 3-ways with her namesake.  And Alec is in Costa Rica working with Doctors without Borders since he couldn't handle the whole Vivien death/new daddy stress.

April gets home to find out that the guy Mark is giving lessons to has started his own band and offered Mark a job in the band, and he is going to ditch counselor school and give the music thing a try for 6 months.  Typical Mark, he should be climbing back into the bottle any day now.

Joss gets home to find her apartment door unlocked. Of course it's Harry home early to surprise her but they make it all dramatic to look like someone broke into the place -- since Joss is all PTSD now dontcha know -- so she calls 911, Harry surprises Joss and Joss hangs up on 911 (like you are not supposed to do).

Harry discusses his newfound celebrityness with Joss and Joss throws some shade at Anthony Bourdain for some reason.  And Harry wants to talk to Joss about the trial, but Joss is just peachy keen, doesn't want to talk, and makes some weird fish analogy.

Harry has a new watch and is taking private phone calls that are "work related" -- I bet Harry has a new girlfriend.

April tells Karen that she doesn't like Mark making big life changes without her -- when Harry shows up at April's shop.  And then all three of them discuss how Joss is "too fine" with the whole trial thing.  And Harry wants to see Mark for some reason.  And then Harry lies to Karen about how lovely her hair is -- it is not.

Harry visits Mark at April's house and Harry confesses to Mark something that Mark can't tell anyone. Oh, what can it be ?

Joss tracks down this book reviewer for Karen's book, Barbara Rutledge, and confronts her about Karen's book and the corresponding launch party.  Barbara immediately determines that Joss is mentally ill and stalks off because she doesn't have time for every book shoved in her face as Joss recites from Karen's book.  Gee, why didn't that work out as Joss planned ?

Mark and April have an argument about Mark following his dreams of playing in a band.  Really April, you never saw this coming ?  Really ?

Karen's book launch is at April's store -- because, you know, show budget -- and Karen brings her baby to the party.  Shitty parenting 101 all to dodge the nanny.  And Joss uses amazeballs in an actual sentence.  Uggh !

Whoa -- Karen spent two years with Alec and Vivien.  When did that happen ?  Because it took place all in the course of last season which was only a few weeks.  Her book's full title is 'Unleashed -- One Woman's Journey' which sounds more like a Harlequin Romance title.  The nanny shows up at the shop and Karen's nipples chose this time to start leaking all over her blouse as she reads from her novel.

I'm still trying to figure out how Karen managed to take care of a newborn with a stable of rotating nannies, write a book, and get her practice back up and running all at the same time.

Even April noticed Harry's fancy new watch.  Hmmm. I still think the watch is from a replacement for Joss.

April goes home from the book reading and wakes up sleeping Mark "to talk" -- just what every guy wants.  And now April is going to hand over control of the store to her dumbass assistant Randy so can pursue a painting fellowship.  Sure, why not ?

Karen gets a visit from the book agent, and she wants to represent her.  And Barbara has the hots for Robert.  Despite not knowing any of the terms of Barbara's "deal", Karen yells "I accept" down the hallway after her.  I'm sure that's going to come back and bite her in the ass.

Harry takes Joss down to the beach, with a candle-lit tent and champagne and asks Joss to marry him.  I think he's overcompensating because he cheated on her -- he was gone in Europer a long time.  So will the end of Season 4 be Joss' wedding .... again ?

Lucy returns home from Sacramento and April grills her about this kid named Noel that popped up frequently on her Instagram.  But it turns out that Lucy is up to secret shenanigans with Noel.  Because he misses her.

Joss gets up the next morning and as you see her get dressed you see she has a massive bruise on her torso -- is she intentionally injuring herself because of the PTSD ??  Nope, kickboxing classes.  So Joss is working out her demons by beating up her opponents -- good thing she doesn't want to talk about.

[KaveDweller]

5 hours ago, ottoDbusdriver said:

Whoa -- Karen spent two years with Alec and Vivien.  When did that happen ?  Because it took place all in the course of last season which was only a few weeks.  Her book's full title is 'Unleashed -- One Woman's Journey' which sounds more like a Harlequin Romance title.  The nanny shows up at the shop and Karen's nipples chose this time to start leaking all over her blouse as she reads from her novel.

Yeah, the two years really threw me too. I thought it was just a couple months (at most) during last season. Someone said the baby was four months old, which fits having a year time jump, but not more than that.

Karen may have terrible judgement about her sex life, but she sure has good time-management skills. She wrote a book and got it published in less than a year, at the same time that she was having a baby by herself and re-opening her practice? 

Also, Alec is kind of a douche. I know he loved his wife, but she would have wanted him to take care of his child. That should be what's most important to him.

As Karen returns home to a shirtless Robert, we find out that Karen named her daughter Vivien.  Can't wait until Vivien grows up and Karen tries to explain how she had 3-ways with her namesake.  And Alec is in Costa Rica working with Doctors without Borders since he couldn't handle the whole Vivien death/new daddy stress.

It only just occurred to me that someday Vivien is going to grow up and find out about Karen's book. And hopefully not read it or have mean kids at school read it to her. 

I don't get why April and Marc moved either. Why didn't Marc just move into April's previous house? He was kind of living their already, wasn't he?

[Free]

12 hours ago, Chasity said:

This episode wasn't that great, but I really like that Harry and Joss got engaged.

Next week's episode looks fun.

It was kind of dull, especially after the cliffhanger last season and then a time jump.

[mamey2422]

What was the point of the whole candles scene at April's store? Was it to show that April is overworked? 

I also only watch this show for Jess and il not sure how much longer that will keep me. 

[luckyroll3]

12 hours ago, KaveDweller said:

I don't get why April and Marc moved either. Why didn't Marc just move into April's previous house? He was kind of living their already, wasn't he?

Cause apparently she couldn't afford the other house (maybe because she's not receiving life insurance on her husband anymore?) especially with Marc not paying rent.  And she's so bright that they moved into a smaller house for him to still not pay rent or contribute to any of the bills.  That's the sort of shit you do in your 20s, not when your in 30s-40s with a child.

4 hours ago, mamey2422 said:

What was the point of the whole candles scene at April's store? Was it to show that April is overworked? 

Overworked?  She didn't even deal with it.  She left it for the other dude to handle and then went to kiki with her friends.  I've only ever seen April pretend to work. 

[ribboninthesky1]

I have to wonder why this show would bother casting minority actresses only to consistently and continuously short them on the romantic plots.  April is easily the most gorgeous of the bunch (and has been since day one), yet she gets saddled with bum-ass Mark? Karen is beautiful in her own right, and she gets...the nanny? I can't. I get that there will always be melodrama, but really, show? 

Never cared about Joss, and still don't.  

[luckyroll3]

Forgot to mention Karen's outfit game is still on point.  I absolutely loved the black dress with the color block trim she wore during the court scene at the beginning of the episode and the red dress she wore during her book reading.  That hair though......awful.

And it's also nice to see Tia getting some other acting jobs. 

[formerlyfreedom]

Quote

Harry's sister arrives for a visit and reveals that all is not well between her and her fiancé. Meanwhile, Joss has trouble celebrating her own engagement; April learns about a painting fellowship; Marc joins a band; and Karen bonds with her male nanny

.

[Scout Finch]

On 5/31/2016 at 2:55 PM, ottoDbusdriver said:

One year later -- I was kind of hoping they would use the mice from 'Babe' to announce this.

Karen looks absolutely terribly with that short haircut.

Joss and Karen show up at April's shop to discuss the rotating supply of nannies Karen has gone through. April tells Karen not to have sex with her manny, but honestly, has April watched this show -- Karen banged her patient, and her patient's son. And then banged a bunch of random dudes. And then banged Alec the husband of the dying woman, Vivien, that she donated her blood to and banged Alec and Vivien together. Who hasn't Karen banged at this point? Because inappropriate relationships is basically Karen's thing.

As Karen returns home to a shirtless Robert, we find out that Karen named her daughter Vivien.  Can't wait until Vivien grows up and Karen tries to explain how she had 3-ways with her namesake. 

And then Harry lies to Karen about how lovely her hair is -- it is not.

Whoa -- Karen spent two years with Alec and Vivien. When did that happen? Because it took place all in the course of last season which was only a few weeks.

I'm still trying to figure out how Karen managed to take care of a newborn with a stable of rotating nannies, write a book, and get her practice back up and running all at the same time.

 

When I went to pick out my favorite things from your post, I realized they all had to do with Karen, LOL!

Quote

PetuniaP said:

Karen continues to be the stupidest person on television. Her haircut is the most unflattering I have ever seen on TV, and that includes Scarlett's from Nashville.

I have to disagree--but only about her haircut being worse than Scarlett's. At least I can stand to look at Karen, which was not at the all case with Nashville. I ended up FFing through any scenes Scarlett was in. Didn't at least one person also tell her that they liked her hair? LIAR!

ETA: I have a fondness for salacious non-fiction and can't help wishing that Unleashed really did exist.

Edited June 6, 2016 by Scout Finch

[ottoDbusdriver]

Where did we leave off ?  Oh yeah, Joss getting engaged on the beach and it all being so very underwhelming (until we find out her bruises are from MMA classes where she is working out her PTSD since "she doesn't want to talk about it"), Karen signing with the horny book publisher, and April being completely clueless about Lucy's "friend" and Mark's wandering attention span.

In the previously, April talks about how she would have been an artist but she was distracted from her goal by having a kid, and then distracted by the store -- and she completely forgets to mention the fact that she married a guy who faked his own death (which was just a little bit distracting).

And we're back to Joss in MMA class, where she goes up against a more advanced classmate and takes a hard shot to the ribs -- seriously would they really allow these kind of hard shots during simple sparring ?  Because everyone in that class should have broken ribs by now.

Karen really is the dumbest of the dumb -- oh noeessss, my book on three-ways and banging random dudes at a hotel without protection is going to be sold at a classy sex shop.  Really Karen ? You never saw that coming ?   Barbara the horny book agent really wants to bang Robert the Manny.

Joss yada-yadas her bruises to Harry right before Kate, Harry's sister, arrives unexpectedly.  And even she figures that she interrupted sexytime between Joss and Harry -- this Kate may be the brightest of the bunch.  Are we supposed to believe that a full week has gone by since last episode ?  Because that's how they are playing it.

Apparently Kate was in Season 2, Episode 6 but I have no recollection of ever seeing her character before. Apparently Harry brought her back from Australia sometime during that particular episode.  I checked the PTV thread for that episode and no one even mentioned her.  Talk about making an impression.

Karen is so stupid about this awesome art fellowship (that is so prestigious that you have to know a board member to even apply, which must weed out the riffraff) that she didn't even know that the deadline for this year's entries is in two days -- way to abstain from using Google to find out stuff April.  This art fellowship requires a minimum of 8 hours a day commitment -- how will April ever manage to fit that into her schedule of court dates, nooners with Mark, and 2 hour lunches with the other Mistresses ?

And Karen's mommy and me class turns into "Ask Sexpert Karen" -- and Karen's "celebrity energy" gets her and Vivien turfed from the class, because they are too "distracting" -- distraction seems to be the theme of the episode.  Karen figures the Mommy and Me class leader tossed Karen since Karen was stealing her mojo or some such bullshit.

Kate confesses to Joss that her bullshit cover story of scads of air miles and getting away from pre-wedding stress was bullshit -- and somehow even Joss figured that out ahead of time.  Kate wants one last fling with a hot latino guy before she gets married -- and the fiance is ok with it as long as it was in the US.  I think this story is even more preposterous and bullshittier than her first story but it seems legit -- apparently Kate wants to catch an STD and require a lifetime supply of Valtrex before she gets married.

And we are off to an alcohol-fueled lunch at April's store.  They discuss Kate's "one last fling" scenario before Mark shows up pretending to be a superhero -- since he will be managing the store while April goes off to paint. I'm sure this will end well as Mark wanders off after something shiny down the street and the store get completely emptied out by thieves.

Joss and Harry dance around what Kate is doing -- because Joss can't keep her trap shut since apparently she has morals now.  It's almost like the show writers completely forgot that Joss ditched her boyfriend at the altar for another guy.  Harry is angry and says "I do not want my little sister to blow up her whole life for one night" -- not the best choice of words in that sentence, Harry should probably refrain from sentences using "little sister" and "blow" when it comes to Kate and her sowing wild outs in LA plans.  Harry gives Joss a deadline to get Kate in check or he's going to "step in".  What is he going to do ?  Seriously, is he going to lock up his sister so she can't bang anyone while in L.A. ?

April's art is on par with Ross' music from friends -- oh looky, it's the Golden Gate Bridge floating in mid-air.  They might as well just hand the fellowship to April now, it is just too good.

Karen goes to the horny book agent's office to discuss the marketing of her book and to decline the sex shop book signing. Why is Karen dressed like a droopy Inspector Gadget ?  That trenchcoat dress was awful.

April has to rush to the store because Mark has to rush off to a band audition -- so much for April's shitty art.

Joss invites Karen over to talk some sense into Kate -- seriously, Joss is telling Kate to try and understand the repercussions of her decision.  This from a woman that decided to pretend to have an affair with her boss/friend's husband in order to blackmail him on divorce proceedings -- and Joss thought that was a good idea.  Really Joss -- when have you ever thought about the repercussions of any decisions you have ever made ?  Ever ??

Of course, Kate makes more sense than Joss and Karen combined -- so Karen just leaves and Kate hops back on the train to Poundtown.

Harry meets some new billionaire restaurant investor who has a terrible wandering accent -- someone who has been following Harry's work since he was a sous-chef.  Stalker much ?  He helps fund dreams for people he believes in no matter what the cost -- I think he just wants to bang Harry as his own personal distraction.  Harry decides to call Kate and Joss but neither answer so he stalks them to a nightclub.

Kate is checking out guys -- I have to say Kate looks kinda hot in that dress -- and Joss seems to think she's in an episode of Leave It to Beaver and wants to go home and watch movies and eat popcorn, but Kate meets a guy named Ryan (which rhymes with Brian, her husband's name).  At least that works if/when she gets back home and she shouts out the wrong name while having sexytime with Brian.

April is into the wine and really hates her shitty painting -- as do we all.

Harry shows up and starts reading Kate the riot act, and Kate spills the beans that Harry's parents don't know that he's marrying his ex-sister-in-law.  Boom goes the dynamite !!  Kate refuses to leave, Harry shoves Ryan, dumb ass friend of Ryan tries to intervene and tries to take a swing at Harry and Joss goes into self-defense mode and gives Ryan a shot to the ribs (seriously, this guy should have broken ribs).  And they all get tossed out for their troubles.

Joss still hasn't told Savi, but Savi must know via the grapevine that Savi and Harry have been living together for well over a year now.  And Harry hasn't told any of his friends and family in Oz, they are getting married but they must know that Harry and Joss have been banging for over a year ? Harry accuses Joss of being melodramatic -- which is basically this entire show in a nut shell. 

April gets her sage wisdom tossed back her by Lucy .... because April can't remember what she told her from 5 minutes ago ..... while staring at a blank canvas.  April is still oblivious that Lucy is texting dude from the trip instead of her friend Payton.  April is such an idiot.

Meanwhile, it's an awkward breakfast for three at the Davis homestead.  Harry is using a magic bullet while Kate and Joss get coffee as Kate declares that she didn't have sex last night.  Does that just mean no P-in-V ?  Or just BJs ?  Does a rusty trombone count ? Or some sort of Clinton-like "I did not have sex with that man" type of sex.

April's painting is fucking terrible -- faceless people at the beach and they all have long shadows -- it is really awful.  Joss and Karen say it's great -- it is not.  Joss explains her evening of fighting with Harry and Kate because Kate felt Joss was judging her -- which Joss was totally doing -- and at least April and Karen have the good sense to call Joss on the fact that it is awkward that Joss is marrying her ex-brother-in-law, and not everyone is onboard for such a California kind of idea.

Karen is all worried that the book will impact her being taken seriously as a psychologist.  Did she never consider this EVER when deciding to write the book ?  Not once ? No one put a sexy gun to her head and made her publish it.  FFS !!  But the manny is a big fan of her book and has sufficiently refilled the spank bank after reading it.

Big surprise, April gets declined for the fellowship because her one shitty painting didn't have "it".  Much like how the April the artist didn't have, you know, "talent".  And now April has the sads.  

And now it's time for the awesome engagement party/housewarming -- April's not talking about her failure at art, Joss isn't talking to Harry, Harry's not talking to Kate, Kate's not talking to Joss, Joss isn't talking to Harry.  You know what they need at this party ?  A distraction.  Starting with some booze.  And just to twist the knife into April's broken artistic heart further, Mark arrives to announce he made the band -- probably on the condition that he plays for free.  April decides to blame her failure partly on Mark --  because Mark made her an incredibly shitty painter (come on, it's barely a marginal step above paint-by numbers).

Karen confronts Kate -- and Kate is gaga for Karen's book and makes Karen feel so much better about maybe branching out into the sex shops, you know, to help people.  Kate leaves to go apologize to Joss while Joss binges on chocolate-covered strawberries.  Then Kate leaves to answer the door bell for some reason, and we never find out who was at the door.  How come Kate got door duty ?

Meanwhile Harry critiques the catered food and tells Mark about his weird meeting with the creepy investor dude. Would Mark just fuck right off with trying to force Harry to book his shitty band at his new restaurant ?  Geez, give it a rest.  

And we cut to the most awkward dinner party EVAH !!!  Who are these extras that are supposedly such close friends of Joss and Harry that they get invited to the engagement party but have never ever been seen on this show before ?  Man, the crickets are so loud.  You know what this dinner party could use ?  That's right, a distraction.

Joss gives the "fuck you, it's not creepy I'm going to marry my ex-brother-in-law" toast.  Because she wuvs Harry, and twu wuv conquers creepiness.

April is giving up her dream and her promising art career -- which wasn't promising at all.

Harry gets a gift basket from the creepy billionaire investor -- and Kate shows up with apology burritos.  Seriously, who writes this crap ?  

Kate comes clean that Brian wasn't really "ok" with Kate's whole sowing her wild oats plan because Brian had an affair and Kate just wanted a revenge bang to even the score.  Because that makes total sense.  And Kate cancels the wedding and decides to stay in LA -- and there we have our new 4th Mistress.

And Karen decides to bang the manny after deciding she can be a respected psychologist and a sex therapist.  No one ever saw that coming </eyeroll>.

[Free]

4 minutes ago, ottoDbusdriver said:

Where did we leave off ?  Oh yeah, Joss getting engaged on the beach and it all being so very underwhelming (until we find out her bruises are from MMA classes where she is working out her PTSD since "she doesn't want to talk about it"), Karen signing with the horny book publisher, and April being completely clueless about Lucy's "friend" and Mark's wandering attention span.

In the previously, April talks about how she would have been an artist but she was distracted from her goal by having a kid, and then distracted by the store -- and she completely forgets to mention the fact that she married a guy who faked his own death (which was just a little bit distracting).

And we're back to Joss in MMA class, where she goes up against a more advanced classmate and takes a hard shot to the ribs -- seriously would they really allow these kind of hard shots during simple sparring ?  Because everyone in that class should have broken ribs by now.

Karen really is the dumbest of the dumb -- oh noeessss, my book on three-ways and banging random dudes at a hotel without protection is going to be sold at a classy sex shop.  Really Karen ? You never saw that coming ?   Barbara the horny book agent really wants to bang Robert the Manny.

Joss yada-yadas her bruises to Harry right before Kate, Harry's sister, arrives unexpectedly.  And even she figures that she interrupted sexytime between Joss and Harry -- this Kate may be the brightest of the bunch.  Are we supposed to believe that a full week has gone by since last episode ?  Because that's how they are playing it.

Apparently Kate was in Season 2, Episode 6 but I have no recollection of ever seeing her character before. Apparently Harry brought her back from Australia sometime during that particular episode.  I checked the PTV thread for that episode and no one even mentioned her.  Talk about making an impression.

Karen is so stupid about this awesome art fellowship (that is so prestigious that you have to know a board member to even apply, which must weed out the riffraff) that she didn't even know that the deadline for this year's entries is in two days -- way to abstain from using Google to find out stuff April.  This art fellowship requires a minimum of 8 hours a day commitment -- how will April ever manage to fit that into her schedule of court dates, nooners with Mark, and 2 hour lunches with the other Mistresses ?

And Karen's mommy and me class turns into "Ask Sexpert Karen" -- and Karen's "celebrity energy" gets her and Vivien turfed from the class, because they are too "distracting" -- distraction seems to be the theme of the episode.  Karen figures the Mommy and Me class leader tossed Karen since Karen was stealing her mojo or some such bullshit.

Kate confesses to Joss that her bullshit cover story of scads of air miles and getting away from pre-wedding stress was bullshit -- and somehow even Joss figured that out ahead of time.  Kate wants one last fling with a hot latino guy before she gets married -- and the fiance is ok with it as long as it was in the US.  I think this story is even more preposterous and bullshittier than her first story but it seems legit -- apparently Kate wants to catch an STD and require a lifetime supply of Valtrex before she gets married.

And we are off to an alcohol-fueled lunch at April's store.  They discuss Kate's "one last fling" scenario before Mark shows up pretending to be a superhero -- since he will be managing the store while April goes off to paint. I'm sure this will end well as Mark wanders off after something shiny down the street and the store get completely emptied out by thieves.

Joss and Harry dance around what Kate is doing -- because Joss can't keep her trap shut since apparently she has morals now.  It's almost like the show writers completely forgot that Joss ditched her boyfriend at the altar for another guy.  Harry is angry and says "I do not want my little sister to blow up her whole life for one night" -- not the best choice of words in that sentence, Harry should probably refrain from sentences using "little sister" and "blow" when it comes to Kate and her sowing wild outs in LA plans.  Harry gives Joss a deadline to get Kate in check or he's going to "step in".  What is he going to do ?  Seriously, is he going to lock up his sister so she can't bang anyone while in L.A. ?

April's art is on par with Ross' music from friends -- oh looky, it's the Golden Gate Bridge floating in mid-air.  They might as well just hand the fellowship to April now, it is just too good.

Karen goes to the horny book agent's office to discuss the marketing of her book and to decline the sex shop book signing. Why is Karen dressed like a droopy Inspector Gadget ?  That trenchcoat dress was awful.

April has to rush to the store because Mark has to rush off to a band audition -- so much for April's shitty art.

Joss invites Karen over to talk some sense into Kate -- seriously, Joss is telling Kate to try and understand the repercussions of her decision.  This from a woman that decided to pretend to have an affair with her boss/friend's husband in order to blackmail him on divorce proceedings -- and Joss thought that was a good idea.  Really Joss -- when have you ever thought about the repercussions of any decisions you have ever made ?  Ever ??

Of course, Kate makes more sense than Joss and Karen combined -- so Karen just leaves and Kate hops back on the train to Poundtown.

Harry meets some new billionaire restaurant investor who has a terrible wandering accent -- someone who has been following Harry's work since he was a sous-chef.  Stalker much ?  He helps fund dreams for people he believes in no matter what the cost -- I think he just wants to bang Harry as his own personal distraction.  Harry decides to call Kate and Joss but neither answer so he stalks them to a nightclub.

Kate is checking out guys -- I have to say Kate looks kinda hot in that dress -- and Joss seems to think she's in an episode of Leave It to Beaver and wants to go home and watch movies and eat popcorn, but Kate meets a guy named Ryan (which rhymes with Brian, her husband's name).  At least that works if/when she gets back home and she shouts out the wrong name while having sexytime with Brian.

April is into the wine and really hates her shitty painting -- as do we all.

Harry shows up and starts reading Kate the riot act, and Kate spills the beans that Harry's parents don't know that he's marrying his ex-sister-in-law.  Boom goes the dynamite !!  Kate refuses to leave, Harry shoves Ryan, dumb ass friend of Ryan tries to intervene and tries to take a swing at Harry and Joss goes into self-defense mode and gives Ryan a shot to the ribs (seriously, this guy should have broken ribs).  And they all get tossed out for their troubles.

Joss still hasn't told Savi, but Savi must know via the grapevine that Savi and Harry have been living together for well over a year now.  And Harry hasn't told any of his friends and family in Oz, they are getting married but they must know that Harry and Joss have been banging for over a year ? Harry accuses Joss of being melodramatic -- which is basically this entire show in a nut shell.

April gets her sage wisdom tossed back her by Lucy .... because April can't remember what she told her from 5 minutes ago ..... while staring at a blank canvas.  April is still oblivious that Lucy is texting dude from the trip instead of her friend Payton.  April is such an idiot.

Meanwhile, it's an awkward breakfast for three at the Davis homestead.  Harry is using a magic bullet while Kate and Joss get coffee as Kate declares that she didn't have sex last night.  Does that just mean no P-in-V ?  Or just BJs ?  Does a rusty trombone count ? Or some sort of Clinton-like "I did not have sex with that man" type of sex.

April's painting is fucking terrible -- faceless people at the beach and they all have long shadows -- it is really awful.  Joss and Karen say it's great -- it is not.  Joss explains her evening of fighting with Harry and Kate because Kate felt Joss was judging her -- which Joss was totally doing -- and at least April and Karen have the good sense to call Joss on the fact that it is awkward that Joss is marrying her ex-brother-in-law, and not everyone is onboard for such a California kind of idea.

Karen is all worried that the book will impact her being taken seriously as a psychologist.  Did she never consider this EVER when deciding to write the book ?  Not once ? No one put a sexy gun to her head and made her publish it.  FFS !!  But the manny is a big fan of her book and has sufficiently refilled the spank bank after reading it.

Big surprise, April gets declined for the fellowship because her one shitty painting didn't have "it".  Much like how the April the artist didn't have, you know, "talent".  And now April has the sads.

And now it's time for the awesome engagement party/housewarming -- April's not talking about her failure at art, Joss isn't talking to Harry, Harry's not talking to Kate, Kate's not talking to Joss, Joss isn't talking to Harry.  You know what they need at this party ?  A distraction.  Starting with some booze.  And just to twist the knife into April's broken artistic heart further, Mark arrives to announce he made the band -- probably on the condition that he plays for free.  April decides to blame her failure partly on Mark --  because Mark made her an incredibly shitty painter (come on, it's barely a marginal step above paint-by numbers).

Karen confronts Kate -- and Kate is gaga for Karen's book and makes Karen feel so much better about maybe branching out into the sex shops, you know, to help people.  Kate leaves to go apologize to Joss while Joss binges on chocolate-covered strawberries.  Then Kate leaves to answer the door bell for some reason, and we never find out who was at the door.  How come Kate got door duty ?

Meanwhile Harry critiques the catered food and tells Mark about his weird meeting with the creepy investor dude. Would Mark just fuck right off with trying to force Harry to book his shitty band at his new restaurant ?  Geez, give it a rest.

And we cut to the most awkward dinner party EVAH !!!  Who are these extras that are supposedly such close friends of Joss and Harry that they get invited to the engagement party but have never ever been seen on this show before ?  Man, the crickets are so loud.  You know what this dinner party could use ?  That's right, a distraction.

Joss gives the "fuck you, it's not creepy I'm going to marry my ex-brother-in-law" toast.  Because she wuvs Harry, and twu wuv conquers creepiness.

April is giving up her dream and her promising art career -- which wasn't promising at all.

Harry gets a gift basket from the creepy billionaire investor -- and Kate shows up with apology burritos.  Seriously, who writes this crap ?

Kate comes clean that Brian wasn't really "ok" with Kate's whole sowing her wild oats plan because Brian had an affair and Kate just wanted a revenge bang to even the score.  Because that makes total sense.  And Kate cancels the wedding and decides to stay in LA -- and there we have our new 4th Mistress.

And Karen decides to bang the manny after deciding she can be a respected psychologist and a sex therapist.  No one ever saw that coming </eyeroll>.

So Joss keeps getting hurt with something that's actually meant to help her.

As for Savi, Alyssa's exit really messed up the writers' plans, I really do think they had their fallout in mind for S3 onwards.

[Black Knight]

The storylines so far this year are so boring. Karen wrote a book and will eventually bang her kid's nanny (which seems positively mundane compared to her previous relationships). We're apparently supposed to be deeply concerned about Joss taking kickboxing classes. April and her man-child must decide whether he should go to school or pursue music. Yawn!! And the chemistry Harry and Joss had disappeared the second they got together. Their dynamic changed and it turned out their chemistry was dependent on the specific dynamic they had.

And the love interests overall aren't making the grade. Harry always looks good, of course, but the pairing is chemistry-free. Marc, who was kinda cute last year, looks worse this year. Alec and Vivian were both gorgeous and they're gone. Jerry O'Connell has never done anything for me. So at the moment the show's batting .000 for me in the romance department. I know Ricky Whittle is too busy on American Gods to come back - which, good for him, but I sure miss him.

If the show doesn't pick up fast, I'll dropping it. Which isn't the worst thing, of course. It's never been a good show, but there isn't even much of anything to snark on. It's too dull.