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OnceSane

S05.E03: Week 2: Part 2

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A former bachelorette is in Paradise and on her way to talk to an emotional bachelor from her season. Will he get the closure he needs? And will he stay in Paradise?

Airs August 14, 2018.

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I want to feel sorry for Colton but I just can't as no one forced him to come on this stupid show.   You could have stayed home to regroup and just joined the reject party circuit.

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I missed the first few minutes, which I'm assuming was all Becca, so thank the gods for me missing that. I did catch Chris expounding on what Colton needs and what Colton wants and how Colton is and Colton Colton yada yada Colton. What, Chris is the group psychologist and the person who knows what's best of everyone?

My reply: STFU Chris and worry about yourself. Unless you're wanting Colton for yourself, what he does is NOYB.

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Ah whatever Becca! Please leave! I thought she was going to tell him to "do the damn thing", remember that punch line. And Colton didn't say hi to Garrett, but she's going to tell Garrett he did. Glad that's over. Between Tia, the goose gang and Becca, the producers are doing a good job of scripting Colton as the next Bachelor, I'm beginning to feel sorry for him even though I know it's not real. Shame on me ?

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I honestly don' t think Colton was all that broken up and still pining for Becca. The cynic in me thinks no one, especially not the males, are right reasons. And since when is the premise of  BIP to find a life partner? I thought it was just boozing, beaching and hook ups.

 

Plus Chris can take a seat any time now. Ragging on Colton for not being stable or ready for love. He forgot very quickly his own histrionics on Becca's season.

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Watching Jordan flirt is just way too much.   

And add me to the list that doesn't remember Jenna at all from Arie's season

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1 minute ago, CindyBee said:

Watching Jordan flirt is just way too much.   

And add me to the list that doesn't remember Jenna at all from Arie's season

I remember she used to do this weird flapping things with her arms.

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I don't remember Jenna at all. Did she have a much different look on Arie's season or did I just have too much wine when she was on?

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Jenna's "date" is so scripted. Of COURSE she's going to pick Jordan. I don't even have to watch to know that. Because Annalise drama. Probably Annalise should thank Jenna for getting Jordon off her back.

5 minutes ago, ECM1231 said:

And since when is the premise of  BIP to find a life partner?

The premise is to find a "life partner" for two or three weeks so you can stay living in *cough* "Paradise." Hey, free food, right?

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So Jenna  heard about the strict alcohol limits and decided to get a little lubricated prior to arriving in Paradise?

The only thing I remember about Jenna from Arie's season is that she looked just like Arie's type (cute, blonde), but when he took her on a date, there was no chemistry.

She and Jordan do kind of look alike to me.

Oh, and nice try with the "I'm an alien" shtick, but, no, it's been done already (or something similar).

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How's this for irony, I kind of recognize her on BiP (in that vague, yeah, I think I saw her before way) but when I looked at the photos from Arie's season nope, don't remember Jenna at all. But her and Jordan seem perfect for each other. 

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15 minutes ago, saber5055 said:

Jenna: You know me from Ari's season of The Bachelor.

Me: No I don't. Who are you again?

Apparently a grey haired moron who thinks she’s an alien.  Just no with the whacky shit. 

Oh yeah, she was the drunk one.

Edited by Mu Shu
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Jordan needs to get that spot on his shoulder checked. 

"You look good". "No, you look good". I knew that was coming.

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1 minute ago, CindyBee said:

Jordan and Jenna are too cute

They are both air-headed dumbasses. I hated both of them the instant they both freaked over just seeing horses. I say this as someone who just came in from feeding several horses. "They are dead to me." --TM Mr. Wonderful.

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I am kind of liking this Jordan and Jenna thing. He is almost likeable. Wow. I dont remember her either. 

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I think Jordan is unattractive and dumb. Therefore he and Jenna might be perfect together. I don’t understand why they can’t just have fun without all the marriage talk. And Chris can head out anytime. I actually like Colton and think he and Joe are the cutest guys there.

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3 minutes ago, adhoc said:

Keep that up, Jordan, and you'll be in traction tomorrow.

I was thinking laying down in the sand would be a better way to make out, but Jordan probably doesn't want to get his hair mussed up.

At least Jordan is being honest with Analiese but OUCH having to hear that.

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If Annaliese is looking to be a wife and mother she was probably barking up the wrong tree with Jordan, so in the long run she dodged a bullet by him finding somebody else early in the game.

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Just now, saber5055 said:

Jordan went from being a great communicator to being a gigantic tool in a split second.

Jordon: I'm all about Jenna and she's getting my rose, but if Jenna decides she likes someone else, I'll let you hang out with me again. So stick around, Babe, just in case I come calling.

Yes. I just said something nice about him and now I take it back. Lol

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Analiese took that better than I would have if I was basically told "you are my second choice but don't go anywhere".  

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28 minutes ago, ECM1231 said:

I remember she used to do this weird flapping things with her arms.

There was somebody named Lacey who used to do the weird arm flapping thing too, running around on the beach like a forlorn bird.  She was the one waiting for Daniel to show up and he basically called her scraps because nobody else wanted her.

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First, how can Annaliese really believe herself to be madly in love after, what, 2-3 days?

Second, Jordan says "I'm perceptive". Uh-huh, sure, that's why you basically slapped Annaliese in the face by telling her that you wanted Jenna but that you'd keep Annaliese in reserve if Jenna dumps you...   

What a douche. A metrosexual douche at that. 

So the theme for this season of BIP is "I'll keep you in my back pocket in case the person I really want doesn't work out".

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and of course David is going to go after Jordan's girl. He wants Jordan all to himself, can't have some blonde chippy getting between them. 

1 minute ago, Ohwell said:

love how they keep blotting out Jenna's butt cheeks. 

It looks like she's shitting a brick. lol

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Did Jordan just say Jenna "smizes"? Holy cr*p. Are we going to see him on ANTM next?

Excellent ... Chicken Dave is moving in on Jenna. Jordan drama will ensure. That is, if everyone follows the script they were given.

1 minute ago, Ohwell said:

I love how they keep blotting out Jenna's butt cheeks. 

Remember when they kept doing that to someone a couple seasons ago, and it turned out it was editing monkeys jacking around, they just didn't like that person, her butt really wasn't hanging out. It got to be a huge joke that season. I think they even black barred her butt once in a while when she was wearing regular clothes.

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Wow, given what was coming out of David's mouth, it's almost like he had an earpiece and someone off-screen was feeding him the lines. 

I enjoyed it. 

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Just now, adhoc said:

Wow, given what was coming out of David's mouth, it's almost like he had an earpiece and someone off-screen was feeding him the lines. 

I enjoyed it. 

Then that person should be fired. Seriously, that was the most pathetic “dual” I’ve ever seen between two men with zero game. How many times did David mention birthday cake? Or celebrating her birthday? Or how happy he was to help celebrate her birthday? And Jordan reacted like a total loser. He should have topped David by sitting down, not being threatened at all, eaten the cake, and then pretended like nothing happened as soon as David left. Instead, he took the bait. And the bait wasn’t even great bait!

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Just now, Armchair Critic said:

My mind must have blanked out Arie's season because I don't recognize any of these girls...Caroline?

And she was on Becca's season too and don't remember her either from being on that 

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2 minutes ago, Armchair Critic said:

My mind must have blanked out Arie's season because I don't recognize any of these girls...Caroline?

I second that.

Did Caroline just say she wanted to talk to John? Enough with the bathroom talk.

Me to Caroline: Be sure to wash your hands.

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1 minute ago, CindyBee said:

And she was on Becca's season too and don't remember her either from being on that 

She was the one who never said anything all season but then called Arie our at the women tell all about what he did to Becca (that nobody watching had any idea what she was talking about because it hadn’t aired yet)

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1 minute ago, Stan39 said:

She was the one who never said anything all season but then called Arie our at the women tell all about what he did to Becca (that nobody watching had any idea what she was talking about because it hadn’t aired yet)

Oh yeah now I remember her.   Thanks for the reminder

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Wasn't Caroline the one who had career aspirations, like she was going to be in school for a while, or something like that? I think she left Arie's season of her own accord, didn't she (but not before an extended one-last-hug session with Arie)?  Or am I not remembering correctly?

 

ETA:  Oh, yeah, it was Jacqueline, not Caroline, thanks, guys. I think Caroline is someone Reality Steve expected to go really far, but then she didn't.

Edited by adhoc
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1 minute ago, adhoc said:

Wasn't Caroline the one who had career aspirations, like she was going to be in school for a while, or something like that? I think she left Arie's season of her own accord, didn't she (but not before an extended one-last-hug session with Arie)?  Or am I not remembering correctly?

No. Caroline was a realtor out of Ft Lauderdale, I think. She went on a lot of group dates but I don’t think we ever saw her with Arie 1:1. 

I remember who you’re referring to but can’t place her. 

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She just does not seem into this date at all. Interrupting him constantly to name animals? WTF? Weird date. I hope he finds someone else who actually pays attention to him. 

Jacqueline was the one going to school. Really thin with long dark hair. Very pretty in an almost old money Long Island kind of way. 

Edited by Mabinogia
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Is Caroline not into John and blowing him off because interrupting him with the animals was kind of rude.

3 minutes ago, Mabinogia said:

She just does not seem into this date at all. Interrupting him constantly to name animals? WTF? Weird date. I hope he finds someone else who actually pays attention to him. 

I agree, jinx!

edited to say that Caroline just said she expects to get his rose so I am thinking she wants to secure him for a rose but I'm not sure she is actually into him.

Edited by Armchair Critic
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