S05.E12: My Big Fat Baby

[Haleybug]

When Whitney brought the dance she learned in Hawaii to the BGDC was anyone else reminded of the episode of The Office when Michael Scott brought a steel drum home from Jamaica and decided it was a good idea to play it around the office? 

 

[cherenkov]

On 3/20/2018 at 8:11 PM, Elizzikra said:

Sure she could. It's not a surprise inspection - she could manage to clean up before. Most people do.

She has what's listed with the county as a two bedroom house and is currently leasing out that extra bedroom and supposedly another room upstairs as a bedroom to two roommates. She hasn't got a room to function as a child's bedroom.

[auntjess]

I watched the supersized episode.
Ashley brought the baby over for her watch for a little while.
The cat was in the diaper bag, and I think on the carrier.
Just no.

[lightninggirl]

Extra Fat Bonus Scene Recap:

Scene 1, Sweatney's house:  Ashley brings That Super-Cute Adorable Babby to the house, and Oliver the cat tries to eat her (a little). Ashley and Heather talk about how worried they are about leaving That Super-Cute Adorable Babby with Sweatney, alone, by herself, with no one else. Sweatney is also nervous, because she's only, like, babbysat once in her life and, I quote, "that did not go well." Ashley does a talking head where apparently at her very first Babby Doctor appointment, the paed asked her straight-up, "Hey, lady, just how many cats do you have?" So Ashley is worried about leaving her little adorable munchkin at Sweatney's Fur-Covered Litterbox™. While Ashley is giving Sweatney instructions, Oliver the Unwanted Curly-Haired Cat is sitting in that most precious baby's car seat, imploring Ashley with its eyes to "TAKE ME THE FUCK OUT OF HERE." Ashley leaves him (and her sweet little spawn) anyway, so Oliver climbs in her diaper bag and prays for his escape (shhhhh!). Sweatney FaceTimes Tal and does a talking head to say that The Most Freaking Adorable Child on the Planet has reinforced her desire to purchase a human being and raise it - all because of one 90-minute calm babysitting session.
#teamHarper

Scene 2, Charleston dance space: Coming off of the "Buddy's Just Not Into You" phone call, Todd & Sweatney check out the dance space. Todd bounds up the stairs while Sweatney attempts to haul her heft up the stairs. Sweatney doesn't like the fact that Todd pretends to be Superman launching himself up the stairs, and Sweatney admonishes him, "TODD! Do you WANT me to go SLOWER?" OMG, what a bitch. Sweatney asks Todd to go over some dance steps with her to practice before class starts, and she actually lifted one whole leg. They both stress out about a potential poor showing that night, and what it will mean to BGDC.

[mamadrama]

Whitney thought that Buddy couldn't possibly make it in Charleston without her; Buddy had zero fucks to give about Whitney coming to visit. Good times, good times!

Edited March 29, 2018 by mamadrama

[SevenCostanza]

6 hours ago, mamadrama said:

Whitney thought that Buddy couldn't possibly make it in Charleston without her; Buddy had zero fucks to give about Whitney coming to visit. Good times, good times!

It's so obvious he wants to get away from her.  How could she not hear the dread in his voice when she phoned him from the car?

[mybuddyspence]

cene 1, Sweatney's house:  Ashley brings That Super-Cute Adorable Babby to the house, and Oliver the cat tries to eat her (a little). Ashley and Heather talk about how worried they are about leaving That Super-Cute Adorable Babby with Sweatney, alone, by herself, with no one else. Sweatney is also nervous, because she's only, like, babbysat once in her life and, I quote, "that did not go well." Ashley does a talking head where apparently at her very first Babby Doctor appointment, the paed asked her straight-up, "Hey, lady, just how many cats do you have?" So Ashley is worried about leaving her little adorable munchkin at Sweatney's Fur-Covered Litterbox™. While Ashley is giving Sweatney instructions, Oliver the Unwanted Curly-Haired Cat is sitting in that most precious baby's car seat, imploring Ashley with its eyes to "TAKE ME THE FUCK OUT OF HERE." Ashley leaves him (and her sweet little spawn) anyway, so Oliver climbs in her diaper bag and prays for his escape (shhhhh!). Sweatney FaceTimes Tal and does a talking head to say that The Most Freaking Adorable Child on the Planet has reinforced her desire to purchase a human being and raise it - all because of one 90-minute calm babysitting session.

 

I wonder what went wrong? I'm thinking of Niles Crane and his flour bag pretend baby.

I love Oliver, the curly haired cat. 

[VedaPierce]

On March 20, 2018 at 9:10 PM, aliya said:

That's what it is! I couldn't put my finger on it, but it's the defying nature of much of her interaction with her parents. Like a 15 yr old. At this age, Twit should be starting to see that her parents may be right about some things. I don't find them to be terrible people and they have tried to do their best by her, tho they may have overdone it a bit and are too coddling when they need a firmer hand - or to step back and let her flounder on her own. 

I'm going to be a contrarian here and say I agree with Glenn about getting married and having children in that order. I was a young widow. I know what it is to be a single mom - but my son and I started from the right place - two parents, together. We diminish men in our attempts to support women. We make fun of men in commercials and the movies, and then wonder why they play video games until they're 35 and avoid commitment. Especially in the black community, having a father in the home is becoming a rarity.  Single parenthood is a primary cause of female poverty. Can single mothers can raise wonderful children, of course, but it shouldn't be the first choice and isn't the best for the child or for society. All that said, I'd have more respect for Twit if she adopted an older child and not a baby. 

Finally - folks, put the phones down! Look at the balloons and the life around you through your own eyes, not the camera lens.

This is so beautifully thought out and written! Thank you for your eloquence! I will re-read and repeat your argument. Can't stand the way Hollywood keeps portraying men/dads as buffoons, and kids as smart-aleky, know-it-alls! 

Edited April 2, 2018 by VedaPierce

[VedaPierce]

On March 20, 2018 at 9:39 PM, mybuddyspence said:

Oh how I love Todd. "...your litterbox of a house!"

The facial expressions of horror at Whitney's adoption storyline.

I would love to take him out for drinks so he could dish the dirt.

Todd's awesome! When he's on screen, he's who I watch. 

I just discovered this shit-show, but can only watch if I can read all your comments immediately. That's the only way to do it. You guys are THE BEST part of the show! Like the old Mystery Science 3,000!

Edited April 2, 2018 by VedaPierce

[VedaPierce]

I'm sure Tal moved into Whitney's house for filming purposes, not full-time. He certainly loves the camera, and always has a great, big, shiny smile for it. 

[VedaPierce]

On March 21, 2018 at 1:46 AM, the-grey-lady said:

Oh, FFS. Tal and Whitney talked all of three minutes about possibly adopting a baby, a conversation in which Whitney assured him the whole thing wouldn't be too serious, i.e. Tal would just need to provide occasional care (y'know, like taking care of her freaking cats). Then, something like a minute and a half later, she's proudly braying to her parents that she and Tal now "want to adopt." Obviously a well thought out, carefully considered process here. I'm fucking impressed.

Does Whitney EVER consider anyone else's feelings, like, EVER? If she wanted to see Buddy, why not CALL HIM AND SEE IF HE'S UP FOR IT? Instead she just swans into town, uninvited, announces her presence, and waits for him to lavish her with attention. Gee, I don't know - it seems possible to me that a recovering addict might want some space, especially if she's setting up a new, sober life in a new town, and maybe, JUST MAYBE, his friends shouldn't pop in to see him without talking to him first. But that's just me; what do I know?

I'm not a recovering drug addict, but I would hate uninvited guests from out of town, popping in unexpectedly and disrupting my routine. Along with a camera crew. And probably wanting to stay over. 

[Brooklynista]

2 hours ago, VedaPierce said:

I'm not a recovering drug addict, but I would hate uninvited guests from out of town, popping in unexpectedly and disrupting my routine. Along with a camera crew. And probably wanting to stay over. 

And trying to climb in my bed. And demanding kisses on the lips. And needed ointment applied because they can no longer reach their lady bits. 

Yeah. Buddy's  best move was taking a cue from Lenny and pretend he wasn't home. 

Edited April 2, 2018 by Brooklynista

[VedaPierce]

On March 21, 2018 at 9:24 AM, SunnyBeBe said:

I'm not worried about Whit having a job.  She had to demonstrate income to get her mortgage, plus, she could get a job and work somewhere, if the show went away, (she does a college degree) but, what gets me about Whit's poor judgment on adoption is what Todd said.  It's not a baby friendly home, imo.  PLUS, Whit's health has to be a huge concern.  I suppose that if Whit adopted an older child, who wasn't toddling about the house, she wouldn't have to run to keep up with it, but, just the rigors of being a parent......up early, getting them to school, after school activities, etc.  how would she cope? She struggles with her own care.  Recall getting Todd to help apply her chub rub cream?  To me, that kind of thing should be remedied, before bringing a child into the mix. I do think she has a lot to offer, but, that has to weighed with the other stuff.  

What gets me about Whit's poor judgement on adoption, is not so much her not baby-friendly home- that can be remedied in an afternoon, my home wasn't baby-friendly until I brought home a baby. What gets me is her narcissistic tendency. The baby becomes the center, not Whitney. Can Whitney take a backseat (figuratively)? Will she grab the baby by the back of its' head and make it kiss her on the mouth like she does her cats? Will she dump it on her parents to raise when she tires of it in about 2 weeks, like she does with a lot of pets? Can she teach the baby human, healthy choices? She's not a finisher. She has no commitment capabilities. She is mentally stunted. And always needs to be the center of everyone's universe. She plants herself in the center of Heather and buddy's very personal conversation. She always is touching, grabbing, sticking her head in a lap when talking, because she needs everyone's eyes on her at all times. 

I actually think she let herself get this big because she literally needs to be the biggest presence in any room, at any time. She needs to be the sun, and everyone must orbit HER. I'm not even being snarky. 

[VedaPierce]

I'm only on pg 4 (lol!) but did anyone notice Todd being grossed out while Whitney was showing him something on her phone and she had Cheetos crud under her fingernails? And it was FROM 2 DAYS AGO???! WTF!? 

Edited April 2, 2018 by VedaPierce

[VedaPierce]

On March 21, 2018 at 11:48 AM, Calliope12 said:

When Todd and Whitney were in Charlotte, did Todd point out that she had Cheetos dust under her finger from THE DAY BEFORE??  WTF? I understand that she may not shower daily, but who doesn't wash their HANDS at least once over the course of 24 hours? 

Hahaha! Just got to this after I posted same thing! I knew I wasn't seeing things!

[VedaPierce]

On March 21, 2018 at 2:26 PM, AZChristian said:

I've decided I was too harsh to assume Twitney had yesterday's Cheetos under her fingernails.

I'm thinking she had her own personal stash (crate) of Cheetos in her hotel room, and had just finished stuffing them into her face before she met up with Todd.  So those were FRESH Cheetos under her nails.

There.  Now I feel better about my possibly incorrect assumption.

You're totally right! I bet she hides food everywhere and eats in private/alone. Very common with all kinds of addicts.

[Tosia]

2 hours ago, VedaPierce said:

Todd's awesome! When he's on screen, he's who I watch. 

I just discovered this shit-show, but can only watch if I can read all your comments immediately. That's the only way to do it. You guys are THE BEST part of the show! Like the old Mystery Science 3,000!

MYST2000 was the BEST! I still have video tapes of them!  Crow! 

[Tosia]

1 hour ago, VedaPierce said:

Hahaha! Just got to this after I posted same thing! I knew I wasn't seeing things!

I was going to say,  "Keep reading", Veda Pearce, but you're fast!  Disgusting hygiene.  The cheeto dust was from the day before, or day before that,  although Twit said it was the day before,  but who can believe her?  I'm sure she has a stash of snacks in her crevices and room. 

 The comments here are priceless! So many witty, NORMAL posters who bring great analysis to this emotional disaster of a human. Twit's  weight is obviously a health issue, but not for the reasons we snark about, because there's so much more in the way she behaves. 

Edited April 2, 2018 by Tosia

[Brooklynista]

32 minutes ago, Tosia said:

I was going to say,  "Keep reading", Veda Pearce, but you're fast!  Disgusting hygiene.  The cheeto dust was from the day before, or day before that,  although Twit said it was the day before,  but who can believe her?  I'm sure she has a stash of snacks in her crevices and room. 

 The comments here are priceless! So many witty, NORMAL posters who bring great analysis to this emotional disaster of a human. Twit's  weight is obviously a health issue, but not for the reasons we snark about, because there's so much more in the way she behaves. 

 

OK, let's say we believe Whit and the Cheeto dust was from the day before. Ummm...does that mean she hadn't washed her damn hands that day either?? She never took a shower?  Never at least washed her hands after going to the bathroom?  How does a person go days without touching any water?

She's damn nasty and no way should she be handling a newborn. 

Edited April 2, 2018 by Brooklynista

[Brooks]

Cheetos under the fingernails does seem strange for someone so concerned that her make-up and hair be as perfect as possible when in public view (Twit's version of head shaming). 

[SevenCostanza]

1 hour ago, Tosia said:

MYST2000 was the BEST! I still have video tapes of them!  Crow! 

Love them too, also a big Rifftrax fan

39 minutes ago, Brooklynista said:

OK, let's say we believe Whit and the Cheeto dust was from the day before. Ummm...does that mean she hadn't washed her damn hands that day either?? She never took a shower?  Never at least washed her hands after going to the bathroom?  How does a person go days without touching any water?

She's damn nasty and no way should she be handling a newborn. 

I can't imagine going 24 hours and not washing my hands, especially after using the bathroom and coming in from work/stores/public.  Ew

[monagatuna]

37 minutes ago, Brooklynista said:

OK, let's say we believe Whit and the Cheeto dust was from the day before. Ummm...does that mean she hadn't washed her damn hands that day either?? She never took a shower?  Never at least washed her hands after going to the bathroom?  How does a person go days without touching any water?

She's damn nasty and no way should she be handling a newborn. 

I'm one of those "germs are good for you" kind of people, the kind of person who employs the five-second rule at the dropzone (which is typically kind of grimy; it's just unavoidable at a DZ), and even I scrubbed my hands and cleaned under my fingernails after gardening this weekend. There's no way I would have left the house to go on an outing with a friend with grime under my fingernails. And I have really short nails, so it's not like I'm picky about my hands or anything. But unless you're actively working in the garden or garage, there is no reason to have grime under your nails. And for it to be Cheetos dust a day or two later? Gross!

In the same vein, I only wash my hair every third day or so, because a lot of washing isn't really good for the hair, but I still manage dry shampoo on my non-wash days! They make dry shampoo for dark hair, and she's vain as hell, so there's no excuse for her disgusting scalp.

[Tosia]

Yeah, washing your hands ESPECIALLY after eating snacks or finger food is mandatory because of food germs and stains on whatever else you handle.....and then what other people might handle after you do.   I can't imagine not washing food  remnants off. Twit's hygiene and cat care is beyond icky. 

[Maggienolia]

3 hours ago, Tosia said:

MYST2000 was the BEST! I still have video tapes of them!  Crow! 

off topic for a nano-sec (sorry mods) - MST3K is on Netflix PLUS new episodes. 

[aliya]

16 hours ago, VedaPierce said:

This is so beautifully thought out and written! Thank you for your eloquence! I will re-read and repeat your argument. Can't stand the way Hollywood keeps portraying men/dads as buffoons, and kids as smart-aleky, know-it-alls! 

Thanks! What a wonderful comment. 

[mybuddyspence]

On 4/2/2018 at 7:28 AM, VedaPierce said:

Todd's awesome! When he's on screen, he's who I watch. 

I just discovered this shit-show, but can only watch if I can read all your comments immediately. That's the only way to do it. You guys are THE BEST part of the show! Like the old Mystery Science 3,000!

I LOVE Mystery Science Theater!!! I'm a fan from the time when Joel was hosting. 

[VedaPierce]

18 hours ago, mybuddyspence said:

I LOVE Mystery Science Theater!!! I'm a fan from the time when Joel was hosting. 

Me too! My favorite movie was the bizarre santa clause one

[mybuddyspence]

On 4/5/2018 at 8:28 AM, VedaPierce said:

Me too! My favorite movie was the bizarre santa clause one

Is that the Jack Frost movie? There are some really funny ones and I have some on a DVD.

[VedaPierce]

3 minutes ago, mybuddyspence said:

Is that the Jack Frost movie? There are some really funny ones and I have some on a DVD.

Santa vs. Satan. Just googled. Creepy-ass movie!

[mybuddyspence]

15 minutes ago, VedaPierce said:

Santa vs. Satan. Just googled. Creepy-ass movie!

Thanks! I'll have to check that one out. I could use a big dose of MST3K right about now.

[VedaPierce]

1 hour ago, mybuddyspence said:

Thanks! I'll have to check that one out. I could use a big dose of MST3K right about now.

We ALL could ;)