S06.E10: Benji & David's Story

[lightninggirl]

On 3/15/2018 at 1:33 PM, calpurnia99 said:

The other thing, the 1200 calorie a day diet.

Dr. Now does this because he's been doing it for years and it works for his patients - BUT I totally get what you're saying. There are lots of calorie-free foods that you can eat, such as the no-sugar Jell-O treats, to keep you filled up and also satisfy the 'snacking' urge. However, I always wonder about this because he keeps them on a low-carb diet PLUS the low-calorie diet. A non-scientific study of about 10 ketogenic diet users had them eating 5,000+ calories per day but sticking to keto for 30 days. NONE of them gained weight, and about 30% of them continued to lose weight. Keto is also medium protein & low carb, while Dr. Now's diet is low cal, low carb, high protein. Anyway, there are definitely other ways to do this and I always wince when I hear the calorie limit when Dr. Now says it because I know that can be challenging!

[hisbunkie]

What seems to get lost is the fact that these people have an Eating Disorder.  Most, if not all, appear to have Binge Eating Disorder (BED). The Disorder does not go away with surgery or weight loss. The surgery is a tool to help one manage the Disorder.

it makes sense to wait to have some of these patients see a therapist. When they are in the midsts of their BED it may be difficult to address their issues. It’s like going to therapy while still using drugs. 

As far as not being able to eat well while in the hotel or the road or on vacation....some of these patients don’t have the tools to make good food choices.  It’s a process that takes time and practice.  Just imagine where they came from.

Regarding the partners getting bigger as they get smaller?  It makes perfect sense.  The couple were involved in the Eating Disorder.  They “used” together.  The change causes a lot of strain in the relationship.  Getting home and eating carbs until you pass out is no longer your “normal”.  So if your mode of dealing with stress/unpleasant feelings is to eat...this change will make you even more stressed.

its a fallacy that people lose weight, feel better and then leave a relationship.  It’s usually the person feeling out of control- wanting to regain control in their lives-losing the weight- seeing how the relationship hasn’t been working for a long time and needing to leave.  The weight loss doesn’t cause the divorce.  The “bad relationship” causes the continued weight gain.   Don’t shoot the messenger, please.  

[ava111]

On 3/15/2018 at 3:04 PM, NeitherSparky said:

My bariatric surgeon outright calls her pre-surgery diet a liver-shrinking diet. There was no calorie restriction, no weighing or measuring food, there were just whole categories of food that must be avoided (notably grains, dairy, and fruit). Its similar to the paleo diet in many ways. I absolutely dropped weight on it, it was the only diet I had ever tried in my almost 40 years that worked for me; since I could eat as much as I wanted of the allowed foods I was never hungry. Then (after nine weeks of that) the last three weeks was liquids only and I thought I was going to die, THAT was brutal. Every time I see someone about to have the surgery whine about 2-4 days on a liquid diet I just roll my eyes, lol. The liquid diet continues for a week after surgery but at that point you don't care. Anyways I am always comparing my pre/post surgery process to the patients on this show and am constantly intrigued by the differences - I realise we don't see everything but it does seem like the process is quite different than what I went through. My post-surgery diet progressed slowly through phases of eating only certain things and it seems like the patietnts on the show are back to eating solid, high-fiber things pretty much right away. I think that would have killed me. The biggest thing I always wonder about is drinking with food, my surgeon forbids drinking liquids with food, forever, post-surgery, because washing down your food though your small stomach can not only cause damage but it will also lead you to being hungry sooner (you want the food to stay in there as long as possible, not force it through quicker). In addition, if the food in there is very dense (chicken for example) the liquid literally can't push it through or get around sometimes and the liquid will just turn around and come back out (the only time I did this good thing we were outside!). I am over 5 years out and I still can't drink with food even if I try (I have had to say goodbye to spicy food entirely for this reason) but I have never seen or met another bariatric patient with the same restriction. My surgeon says its because she makes her pouches smaller than other surgeons, out of the very top of the stomach which does not stretch much at all, but I still find it odd that nobody else who had the surgery can't drink with food like me.

Sorry for the wall of text, but one more thing: something else they never seem to touch on on this show, for the bypass patients, is the lifetime of vitamins/supplements one must take every day in order not to die of malnutrition (known as beri-beri). Because of the reduced absorpsion of nutrients in the intestines you have to take allll these supplements every day forever and medical insurance does not cover it. I'm surprised this is never mentioned.

I had the full bypass  in 2003 and still don't drink 30 minutes  after eating. I also don't drink carbonated drinks at all. I can eat pretty much anything but small portions. I still might get sick if I eat too much or food that is too dry (usually I can't have chicken as leftovers at all or it goes out in toilet). Or it won't go out but it sits what it feels like in your esophagus for really long time which is pretty painful. If it doesn't go away I will have to try to get it out. I only have this maybe 3-4 times a year, didn't puke in couple of years. But just for my portion example - beef  burrito bowl from Chipotle lasts me 4 meals. 

[CarolMK]

I think Dr. Now performed the standard gastric bypass in David's case and probably for Benji as well. I have noticed that he seems to use gastric sleeve surgery quite often as well. My one friend who had gastric sleeve surgery told me her dr. no longer does the standard gastric bypass. However, I believe overall, those who have had the standard one (Roux-Y ?) seem to lose weight more quickly and lose more total weight than those who have had the sleeve. Something else I have noticed about my friend who had the sleeve done 4 years ago- it appears she  can eat as least as much as the rest of us, when we go out as a group of friends to lunch/dinner. I've also seen her continuously graze/snack for a good 3 hours straight during our book club. She's lost a decent amount of weight but looks like she is gaining again. I agree with the poster that she very well might have an eating disorder that can't be fixed with surgery. 

[monagatuna]

Oh my god, David's poor teeth. I really loved both guys this episode (and hated their SOs, really, way to try to sabotage or not support their progress, thank god they have each other, and soon you will be way too fat for them), but his poor poor teeth! I legit cried when he was being examined. I have a serious phobia of losing teeth or having serious cavities like that. I have legitimately had nightmares that look like the inside of his mouth, and woke up in tears. I'm not sure what it is, but I've always been mildly obsessed with oral care, flossed at least 5x a week (I know, Dr. Tan, it should be daily, I'm working on it!), and this episode finally got me to spring for a Waterpik, an indulgence I've always wanted.

I really wish these two guys the best. They cared about each other and themselves, and were genuinely likeable.

[essexjan]

For the first ten minutes of this I was ready to hate these two - they were so whiny and self-pitying and seemed to have zero insight into why they were such a mess. But I was pleasantly surprised, and very glad to see them succeed. It was striking, though, how overweight the rest of the family was - the mother, sister, wife and girlfriend were all way too heavy. And it's not genetic - Ben's daughter was slim as a reed. I hope she'll avoid a future of obesity and ill health.

I thought they were nice-looking guys by the end of the show, and will only improve with more weight loss and skin surgery.

Good on them.

[MillieSparklepants]

I was shocked David could eat much of anything with those teeth! I've had a sinus infection going on three weeks now and I've lost about six pounds because my teeth hurt too much to chew anything. How do you get to be in your late 30s and have NEVER seen a dentist? How could his mother justify beauty pageants for her other kids and no dental care for him? It makes no sense.

I was so glad to see him doing so well and looking so good by the end. Go David! 

[aliya]

Watching the repeat because all my good Sunday shows are gone.  Maybe this has been raised elsewhere, but it strikes me that when they say, "No doctor will help me," what they really mean is the doctor said they have to lose some weight before the surgery and they don't want to do that. I guess it's that magic pill thinking - just let me get the surgery and it will all be fine. I won't need to diet.

[pdlinda]

I re-watched this episode last night and was struck by the amazing transformation David's new teeth made in his appearance (and his life)!!  Having a somewhat similar transformation (I had advanced periodontal disease for many years and saw dentist OFTEN) I can say the cosmetic (and structural) dental procedures are EXTREMELY EXPENSIVE!!!  Thousands and thousands of $$$.  I wonder who paid for David's dental procedures???  My thought was if he didn't have the $$$, a dental clinic would have pulled all his teeth and given him cheap, ineffective dentures.

[CrazyInAlabama]

My guess is that in this episode, and a previous one (I think it was a woman participant who had her teach fixed by a woman cosmetic dentist) the dental work is donated in return for the publicity of being featured on the show.     There are dental denture or partial dentures that cover and fill in the missing and damaged teeth during the entire treatment.   I'm no way a dental expert, just a long term patient, but I think they have temporary denture type entire mouth cosmetic appliances like David had, and then the dentist removes the worst teeth, and salvages anything they can.    In a sad case like David's, my guess is that as soon as all of the infection and gum disease is cleared up, the rest of the teeth will be removed, and permanent dentures will be the answer.     He's lucky that the infections from his diseased teeth didn't kill him.    His mother should be ashamed of the neglect that she inflicted on her children, but instead spent every penny on those ridiculous pageants.       I doubt her neglect and cruelty towards her children bothers her at all.  

The mother being on the show enraged me, after her neglect of her children.   She seemed to think she was mother of the century.    

Edited August 20, 2018 by CrazyInAlabama

[Ralphster]

I thought David was bossy and self-absorbed. The way he ordered Benji to switch seats on their way to the clinic was imperious and offputting. I think David is a narcissist. I don't like him. And I don't think the brothers are attractive; I agree with the poster who said their ears and eyes were porcine. Very much so.

David's "Suffer Pain" tattoos were histrionic and ridiculous. Try living in chronic severe pain caused by a back injury and see if you still want that tattooed on your person. What a melodramatic dumbass.

I've said it before and I'll say it again. Keto hasn't been tried on these folks to my knowledge, and I really think it's worth a try. Keto is absolutely sustainable and I crack up at people who say it isn't or who say it isn't healthy. It is healthy for any age and just about anyone. There is a small subset (around 5-7%, can't recall exactly) of the population who cannot digest meats and fats in the amounts required to do keto, but for most people it is a viable option. I think people are too addicted to carbs to really give it a try. Certainly the pounders are hard-core carb addicts. It took 2 months when I started keto to stop craving sugar. It was hard but didn't hold a candle to chronic back pain.

Edited July 26, 2020 by Ralphster

[CrazyInAlabama]

I'm watching this rerun, and can't wait for their update show with Erica later tonight.    I really need anger management, because I would love to punch their mother in the nose for the way she treated her sons.   However, I really admire the way Benji and family coped after their house flooded.    It's so ironic, Benji is trying to lose weight, and taking his chubby English Bulldog for walks, and the dog is winning. 

Knowing how this all turns out in the WATN certainly adds a new perspective to the original episode.  

Edited August 5, 2020 by CrazyInAlabama

[OoogleEyes]

Are these the brothers that had a falling out and weren't speaking?

[CrazyInAlabama]

43 minutes ago, OoogleEyes said:

Are these the brothers that had a falling out and weren't speaking?

That doesn't happen until the WATN (9-11 Central tonight), but when you watch the rerun first episode, you see that they always had a tumultuous relationship.  Another thing I blame on the mother.    She never even took her oldest (David) to the dentist, because she was wasting money on kiddie pageants for the Benji, and any other kids she had (I don't remember if there are other siblings).  When you tell your oldest son he's being left behind, because he's fat and not cute enough to put in pageants, but his brother is going to win, you set them both up to hate each other.