S03.E06: Certified

[RedHackle]

Quote

Quote

I would watch the shit out of a spin-off of Nora and Laurie in a van, driving around Australia, solving crimes.  Sure, they get irritated with each other sometimes, but they always have each other's backs, are both so smart and and strong and have great overlapping skill sets.

 

Hope you're watching the Keepers. It's almost what you describe here except real life.

Kevin and Laurie's goodbye on the porch was a kick to the heartnuts. There is an easy intimacy and ability to crack each other the hell up that sometimes only ex-spouses share. 

Also, Matt choosing, after all this, everything, deciding to stay with his sister.

Jesus, this show.

Edited May 23, 2017 by RedHackle

[Joimiaroxeu]

Quote

I think humanity would be more resilient than that.  Thousands of kids go missing every year and in a lot of cases, the parents never find out the fate of their lost children.

But it's probably not just about the lost children, friends, lovers, and other family members. Even if they don't want to admit it, a question may drive deep into the souls of many: Why not me? It's human nature to wonder why you were left out. Why were you not worthy? What did you do wrong? Some people will be affected by that uncertainty more than others.

[Clanstarling]

51 minutes ago, Joimiaroxeu said:

Quote

I think humanity would be more resilient than that.  Thousands of kids go missing every year and in a lot of cases, the parents never find out the fate of their lost children.

But it's probably not just about the lost children, friends, lovers, and other family members. Even if they don't want to admit it, a question may drive deep into the souls of many: Why not me? It's human nature to wonder why you were left out. Why were you not worthy? What did you do wrong? Some people will be affected by that uncertainty more than others.

This, and the magnitude of it all. Humanity has no idea what happened, if it will happen again, or whether those who vanished are dead or alive. There is no where to turn for answers. Standard religions are weak sauce in the presence of this massive change, and science has found no actual answers. Everything humanity clings to as being true is up in the air.

It is similar to parents of lost children, but different in scale and possible reasons. When kids disappear, even though parents suffer greatly and may never discover their child's fate, the possible explanations are pretty earth bound - the child died somewhere off the beaten path, was murdered, was kidnapped and living a different life, or ran away and is living a different life. All of those explanations have some measure of comfort the impacted families can cling to, even while they go through terrible suffering because they don't know. And plenty of those families break under the weight of it.

There is little for the Leftovers to cling to - their lifeboat is floundering no matter how hard they try to get a grip.

Edited May 23, 2017 by Clanstarling

[shapeshifter]

One more reason for Kevin Jr to be wonky: He and his father may be suffering from schizophrenia, which is pretty debilitating in the real world, but would be even more confusing in a world where it was no longer so simple to diagnose a break with reality. 

[Juliegirlj]

I feel a bit bad for Matt, not only is his cancer back, but his religious fervor that has driven him since the SD, is now gone. Hopefully he hasn't lost all his faith. It was so sweet that he is giving Nora his support now. I'd even venture to say that Matt will offer to take Nora's place in the device- either transporting to wherever his niece and nephew are, or vaporizing himself. At this point, he doesn't have much to lose. Either way, we surely won't know for sure what happens to him. 

[Pallas]

3 hours ago, Juliegirlj said:

I'd even venture to say that Matt will offer to take Nora's place in the device- either transporting to wherever his niece and nephew are, or vaporizing himself. At this point, he doesn't have much to lose. Either way, we surely won't know for sure what happens to him. 

I think you're right: Matt's going into the machine. Like Laurie, Matt has turned a corner and is at peace, with the same very private, half-gone calm. Unlike Laurie, he is dying, and knows he'll be spared a long and painful death; he'll either be incinerated in a better way than his parents were, or end up in a place where his infirmity may not matter: bodiless, or even healed. 

Perhaps the physicists will tell Nora that she's pregnant, and as you say, Juliegirlj, Matt will persuade Sarah to remain behind, bear Isaac, and let him go instead. Or (if Nora isn't pregnant) it might go one of three ways. He'll convince Nora to let him accompany her, then take the leap first, so that his little sister sees what happens next; or, they'll try to go together and only Matt will be taken; or -- without saying anything to Nora or the physicists -- while Nora is still arguing with them, he'll make his escape. And if Matt ends up dead but not Departed, he may meet Kevin on the other side. 

Melbourne as the City on the Edge of Forever. 

[TimWil]

I think Laurie's suicide attempt will succeed because that's how they can bring back her and Kevin's children down to Australia for the final two episodes.

Did I just imagine it that Mary actually didn't follow through on walking out on Matt and he told someone in Episode 5 that he and Mary were trying to work things out?

Edited May 24, 2017 by TimWil

[Cardie]

Matt said that in his phone conversation with Kevin Sr. which took place several weeks before Mary walked out. "Crazy Whitefella Talking" covers quite a bit of time and is confusing because its earliest moments happened before the events of "Don't Be Ridiculous."

[Lady Iris]

On ‎5‎/‎23‎/‎2017 at 1:42 PM, meep.meep said:

So, no one's going to bring up the dog who attacked Laurie?

What does Lindelof have against dogs?

Aww nothing, Vincent was a hugely beloved dog on Lost. I still lose my damn mind when I watch him lay next to Jack in the final scene. Maybe the dogs in this world have all gone a bit nutty given the unexplainable happened and they can sense things we cant. Just a thought.

[scrb]

25 minutes ago, Lady Iris said:

Aww nothing, Vincent was a hugely beloved dog on Lost. I still lose my damn mind when I watch him lay next to Jack in the final scene. Maybe the dogs in this world have all gone a bit nutty given the unexplainable happened and they can sense things we cant. Just a thought.

Is being a part of that cave scene a positive thing?

[Lady Iris]

^^^ I meant when Vincent showed up out of nowhere to lay next to Jack before he closed his eyes. I was sobbing like an idiot at the sweetness of Vincent.

[WearyTraveler]

2 hours ago, Lady Iris said:

^^^ I meant when Vincent showed up out of nowhere to lay next to Jack before he closed his eyes. I was sobbing like an idiot at the sweetness of Vincent.

I was sobbing like an idiot too, then my dog, a golden mix, who was next to me, noticed I was crying, so, he put his head on my thigh and I lost it so hard, I think my cries woke up the neighbors! 

[Juliegirlj]

Matt saying that he and Mary were working things out was because, at that time, Matt had tunnel vision-seeing and thinking only what he wanted. Now, he is back to  ground zero, and seems to be taking things as they come. He probably believes Mary and Noah deserve a fresh start, as he is not long for this world anyways. 

I don't think we will see Jill and Tommy in Australia- maybe a glimpse of them getting on with their lives after the world doesn't end on the SD anniversary. And after they find out that at least one, if not both, of their parents are dead. 

[Juliegirlj]

I have no doubt that Laurie did indeed commit suicide. I have to wonder, if part of her motivation was because she started to believe some of the things the others were saying about Kevin, and thought wherever Kevin was going, he might need her there. I don't think she went to Australia for the purpose of killing herself- she went to check on Kevin. 

Amy Brenneman has said in interviews that 

Spoiler

Laurie did commit suicide. She said that Laurie will be in the finale, and that a lot of the same feelings she had after seeing Certified were the same feelings she had after reading the finale script. 

[Uncle Milty]

If we viewers can rely upon a consistent pattern in which each episode of this season has a different opening-credits song in order to foreshadow that episode's major theme-then Laurie did indeed commit suicide--as the song “1-800-Suicide” by the Gravediggaz in the opening credits of "Certified" clearly points out.  Add to that Metallica’s “Wherever I May Roam” scoring the opening suicide attempt and it's clear that Laurie wasn't just going to check out the Great Coral Reef.  That said, it is possible she could reverse herself like she did in the opening scene-but I doubt it.  There seemed a determination of finality in Laurie, after resolving issues with Kevin (if not John)-and certainly Nora.  It will now be very interesting to see what happens with Nora--Especially after the scene of her in "The Book Of Kevin" with her birds--obviously sometime and somewhere in the future.  One fascinating point I want to make about the question posed to Nora by the scientists in "G'Day Melbourne": -That "kill a baby to cure cancer"  question was also posed to the VW man who sets himself on fire in the "Whitefella" episode-And he gave the opposite answer to Nora's and was turned down, just the same.  That suggests the real answer is not answering the question at all.  Of course, this could be yet another, deliciously torturous subtlety left  (or Leftover...) -forever to our imaginations.

[maystone]

22 hours ago, Juliegirlj said:

Matt saying that he and Mary were working things out was because, at that time, Matt had tunnel vision-seeing and thinking only what he wanted. Now, he is back to  ground zero, and seems to be taking things as they come. He probably believes Mary and Noah deserve a fresh start, as he is not long for this world anyways. 

I don't think we will see Jill and Tommy in Australia- maybe a glimpse of them getting on with their lives after the world doesn't end on the SD anniversary. And after they find out that at least one, if not both, of their parents are dead. 

Now I'm not so sure that nothing cataclysmic happens to the world again. I doubt that it would happen on the 7th anniversary, though. The Sudden Departure was not the Scheduled Departure - it came out of nowhere. Why should the apocalypse give everyone a timetable? It would fit the story (in my head) if nothing catastrophic happened on the 14th, but 11 1/2 years later most of the world got wiped out. Just because.

I keep thinking about the opening scene of The Book of Kevin. People are communicating through carrier doves; that could mean other forms of high-speed comm no long exist or maybe it's some sort of New New Age fad. Future Nora is hauling many cages of birds on a bike. Factories, cars, fossil fuels are gone or is Nora just enjoying the exercise and the simple life? And the name Kevin appears to carry some resonance with this nun. Is it a religious totem now? A name of infamy? Or is the nun onto Nora's true past and is trying to nudge her to acknowledge it or maybe even just to remember it? It's making me crazy. Especially because Certified ended so quietly and with so much acceptance on each of the character's parts. Obviously that's not gonna last long. This is our calm before the storm.

[shapeshifter]

4 minutes ago, maystone said:

. . . I keep thinking about the opening scene of The Book of Kevin. People are communicating through carrier doves; that could mean other forms of high-speed comm no long exist or maybe it's some sort of New New Age fad. Future Nora is hauling many cages of birds on a bike. Factories, cars, fossil fuels are gone . . .

This could be Nora/Sarah's future version of her mission to squelch all false hope (in her opinion) beliefs and communications of those beliefs regarding the original event. If Australia remains cut off from the rest of the world, hopeful left-behinders may believe that their loved ones are in Australia, and carrier pigeon messages have become big business in support of that (false) hope. 
Maybe John is gathering as many pigeons as he can too, but sending them back with fake responses from the intended receivers of those messages, just like he and Laurie were doing with the palm print readings.

[maystone]

6 hours ago, shapeshifter said:

This could be Nora/Sarah's future version of her mission to squelch all false hope (in her opinion) beliefs and communications of those beliefs regarding the original event. If Australia remains cut off from the rest of the world, hopeful left-behinders may believe that their loved ones are in Australia, and carrier pigeon messages have become big business in support of that (false) hope. 
Maybe John is gathering as many pigeons as he can too, but sending them back with fake responses from the intended receivers of those messages, just like he and Laurie were doing with the palm print readings.

Could be. Nora didn't even read the messages; she just drowned them, so to speak. The nun spoke of so much love in the air, but that could be her interpretation of the doves themselves, or maybe she read the first messages and they were optimistic and loving so she figures the rest are, too? I dunno. But somehow we get from Certified to Nora/Sarah, and the anticipation is killing me. I want to see it all now, but once I've seen it all it means that the show is over forever, and I really don't want to see that.

[Pallas]

6 hours ago, maystone said:

This is our calm before the storm.

Yeah...whatever happens on the 15th, or later, I'm beginning to think that Kevin's done for. No, it's not going to be a crazy white fella who saves the world. Kevin's doomed if he begins to believe it, to please his father -- who, long ago, did save Kevin's world -- or to prove he's better than his father, at the same time. And he's doomed if he's just too tired of not winning at suicide, especially now.

Because otherwise, what (when nothing happens on the anniversary): he and John and Michael return to Miracle alone, leaving Kevin, Sr., behind as the only man to have found love after the Departure? With Nora and Laurie gone, can Kevin stand to resume his life again? To me, that would be a greater miracle than anything he's pulled off up to now. It would require him to "feel alive" while on this earth, not just fighting his way back to life in extremis, or through one brief, big adventure.

As Walter's Hair said in his post on "Crazy White Fella," it's Michael who is closest to the divine, in nature, words and acts. For Kevin to live to see the 15th and beyond, he would need to be brave, not bold, and be willing to be no more and no less than the good (enough) man he knew he wasn't, seven years ago. And to know, as Kevin Sr. once knew, "it's fucking enough." 

Or almost enough. We don't know who's sending those doves to Nora/Sarah, or what they want to say. As Maystone speculated, what's leftover of the rest of the world may be g'day-ing Australia as best they can: is Kevin still, and finally, in the world with the rest of us? We also didn't see Nora arrive back home after hearing Kevin's name, or who's there with her, or what she does then with the messages she's ignored yet not destroyed.  

[MyPeopleAreNordic]

On 5/22/2017 at 10:09 PM, tennisgurl said:

Oh, and I forgot! Yesterday, I was driving home from a friends house, and I saw a HUGE crowd of people walking through a park, all dressed in pure white! It was actually a church thing (I texted my friend and asked!) that a local group does sometimes, but I immediately was like "Oh my GOD its the Guilty Remnant! Damn it, keep them away from me!" I swear, if one of them lit a cigarette...

I went to see New Kids on the Block last week (don't judge me....I went with my childhood BFF and we had a great time being nostalgic). At one point they came on stage all dressed in all-white. I had the same thought: "it looks like the New Kids joined the GR!" Lol.

On 5/23/2017 at 0:14 PM, scrb said:

I think humanity would be more resilient than that.  Thousands of kids go missing every year and in a lot of cases, the parents never find out the fate of their lost children.

They don't go through life behaving in extreme ways, like join a cult or go down to some miracle town or travel to Australia on a whim.

Now I would admit that the fact that these characters do these things make for more unusual scenes or episodes, some certainly memorable, with all kinds of intrigue.  But is it believable human behavior?

Of course that's not even going into all the unexplainable events in the show, apart from the Departure.

I think it is...

I've had two friends in their 30s with kids lose their husbands recently in accidents. One is plugging on for her kids, confident that hubby is in heaven and there's something good that will come out of or some reason her mid-30s husband was killed. That's not to say she doesn't break down sometimes, but she's staying the course. The other friend had to stop working for months after & basically stayed in bed. A few months ago, she returned to work and seemed to be doing better. Then she hanged herself in her closet while her kids were at sleepovers.  

We just have a high percentage of characters that are more like the other friend who hanged herself in the core group of characters on the show. 

On 5/23/2017 at 0:42 PM, meep.meep said:

So, no one's going to bring up the dog who attacked Laurie?

What does Lindelof have against dogs?

I mean, dogs do generally like to go after any Leftovers.... couldn't help myself, sorry :)

On 5/23/2017 at 6:09 PM, Juliegirlj said:

I feel a bit bad for Matt, not only is his cancer back, but his religious fervor that has driven him since the SD, is now gone. Hopefully he hasn't lost all his faith. 

I think he's realized he doesn't NEED his faith. He doesn't need the get god's attention or complete some tasks to get god to do something. He doesn't have the answers. He's made peace with that and is just letting it all be. He's found peace - for now-  with the existential concern of meaninglessness that he's been fighting. (Not to say he won't fight this again in the next episodes - that's why I say "for now.) 

(I think of it like accepting True Detective season 1's "life trap" as espoused by Rust Cohle. Matt has realized he didn't have to "hold on" so hard.)

Edited May 28, 2017 by MyPeopleAreNordic

[Mei]

When I first watched the episode, I really, really did not want to believe that Laurie went into the water with the intention to end her life. (She's the sane one, ffs!)

I told myself that when she smiled after Jill's call, she decided against it, thinking to herself, "okay, well my kids are a good reason to stick around, so I will--but I can still enjoy a dive in Australia while I'm here!" Lol. I always laugh when people assume I'm a pessimist.

Then, last night, I re-watched a few clips and realized she wore a red shirt for most of the episode. (How could I miss that?)

Now I'm really sad.

[Pallas]

6 hours ago, Mei said:

Now I'm really sad.

I know. I still haven't re-watched it yet. My mother was "certified," and traveled throughout the world to dive. Her ashes were cast on her favorite site. She named my sister Laurie.

[Slovenly Muse]

Hmmm. It looks like the general consensus here is that Nora has decided to try and use the machine? I'm surprised, because I read that conversation differently. Since discovering these "scientists," Nora has pursued them with an obsessive determination that she CLAIMS is due to outrage that they are killing people, but has been clear to us from the start is due to her own desperation to see her children again. It's like her brain has been chasing these people to stop them, and her heart has been chasing these people to take what they are offering. When Laurie asked her if it was time to call in the authorities and shut the scientists down, Nora seemed to confront her conflicting goals. That story about the beach ball in the stadium... I interpreted that to mean that NORA felt like the children, wanting desperately to grab at this beach ball (use the machine), but knew she had to call the authorities and shut it down (be the usher who deflated the ball), and was agonizing over the possibility of revoking the only hope that some other miserable people like her (the strangely happy people on the tape) had left for seeing their loved ones again ("why would anyone want that job?"), and Laurie, by explaining that the ball had to be controlled for the common good, to keep people safe, she seemed to be affirming to Nora that shutting this operation down was the right thing to do, even though it was hard.

I read that scene as Nora confessing her desire to use the machine, but committing to confronting the scientists and preventing them from hurting anyone else. Giving up the cigarettes was symbolic of giving up her quest for self-annihilation.

Now that I see so many people here speculating that she's been set up to use the machine, I'm wondering why, or what I possibly missed or misunderstood. No one here has really laid out what they saw in that conversation, so I'm curious. What did you see in that scene that led you to believe she was committing to using the machine at any cost? Do you think Laurie was talking her into doing it? Why? I would love an alternative point of view on that decision!

[MyPeopleAreNordic]

1 hour ago, Slovenly Muse said:

Hmmm. It looks like the general consensus here is that Nora has decided to try and use the machine? I'm surprised, because I read that conversation differently. Since discovering these "scientists," Nora has pursued them with an obsessive determination that she CLAIMS is due to outrage that they are killing people, but has been clear to us from the start is due to her own desperation to see her children again. It's like her brain has been chasing these people to stop them, and her heart has been chasing these people to take what they are offering. When Laurie asked her if it was time to call in the authorities and shut the scientists down, Nora seemed to confront her conflicting goals. That story about the beach ball in the stadium... I interpreted that to mean that NORA felt like the children, wanting desperately to grab at this beach ball (use the machine), but knew she had to call the authorities and shut it down (be the usher who deflated the ball), and was agonizing over the possibility of revoking the only hope that some other miserable people like her (the strangely happy people on the tape) had left for seeing their loved ones again ("why would anyone want that job?"), and Laurie, by explaining that the ball had to be controlled for the common good, to keep people safe, she seemed to be affirming to Nora that shutting this operation down was the right thing to do, even though it was hard.

I read that scene as Nora confessing her desire to use the machine, but committing to confronting the scientists and preventing them from hurting anyone else. Giving up the cigarettes was symbolic of giving up her quest for self-annihilation.

Now that I see so many people here speculating that she's been set up to use the machine, I'm wondering why, or what I possibly missed or misunderstood. No one here has really laid out what they saw in that conversation, so I'm curious. What did you see in that scene that led you to believe she was committing to using the machine at any cost? Do you think Laurie was talking her into doing it? Why? I would love an alternative point of view on that decision!

I really like your interpretation of the beach ball/usher monologue. 

[Clanstarling]

10 hours ago, Slovenly Muse said:

Hmmm. It looks like the general consensus here is that Nora has decided to try and use the machine? I'm surprised, because I read that conversation differently. Since discovering these "scientists," Nora has pursued them with an obsessive determination that she CLAIMS is due to outrage that they are killing people, but has been clear to us from the start is due to her own desperation to see her children again. It's like her brain has been chasing these people to stop them, and her heart has been chasing these people to take what they are offering. When Laurie asked her if it was time to call in the authorities and shut the scientists down, Nora seemed to confront her conflicting goals. That story about the beach ball in the stadium... I interpreted that to mean that NORA felt like the children, wanting desperately to grab at this beach ball (use the machine), but knew she had to call the authorities and shut it down (be the usher who deflated the ball), and was agonizing over the possibility of revoking the only hope that some other miserable people like her (the strangely happy people on the tape) had left for seeing their loved ones again ("why would anyone want that job?"), and Laurie, by explaining that the ball had to be controlled for the common good, to keep people safe, she seemed to be affirming to Nora that shutting this operation down was the right thing to do, even though it was hard.

I read that scene as Nora confessing her desire to use the machine, but committing to confronting the scientists and preventing them from hurting anyone else. Giving up the cigarettes was symbolic of giving up her quest for self-annihilation.

Now that I see so many people here speculating that she's been set up to use the machine, I'm wondering why, or what I possibly missed or misunderstood. No one here has really laid out what they saw in that conversation, so I'm curious. What did you see in that scene that led you to believe she was committing to using the machine at any cost? Do you think Laurie was talking her into doing it? Why? I would love an alternative point of view on that decision!

That is an interesting, well supported, take on it. I didn't think that deeply and thought she wanted to use it, myself. But you have me rethinking my position.

[Pallas]

16 hours ago, MyPeopleAreNordic said:

I really like your interpretation of the beach ball/usher monologue.

I do too, and it's beautifully told. What follows is what I see differently. Nora tells her parable, Laurie makes her response, Nora smiles to be understood; she and Laurie embrace and kiss good-bye.

Nora gives her van away: "I don't need it anymore." Laurie asks Matt, "Do you want to drive or do I?" but Matt says, "I think I'll stay here awhile...People should be with their families." Nora, looking even more like she's 6 years old, says joyfully, "Okay!" Then she sobers and asks Laurie, "Do you have to tell them I did this?" Laurie thinks hard, then asks Nora for money; Nora only has hundreds; Laurie then asks Nora for her cigarettes. Now that she's been compensated, Laurie congratulates Nora on becoming her patient (and so, with her whereabouts and actions protected by confidentiality -- which we saw Laurie invoke on Nora's behalf with John, at the ranch). 

Then, as the violin rendition of The Theme for Tragic Vision swells our throats shut, Nora says, "Same time next week?" and Laurie gathers herself; at first she can only give a thumb's-up but then manages to say, "You're on." Brother and sister turn away and stare out at the horizon, embracing like kids on a hillside, like orphaned kids whose church just took them to the beach. Laurie walks away alone, as if leaving the doctor's office again.  

The parable. 

17 hours ago, Slovenly Muse said:

Laurie, by explaining that the ball had to be controlled for the common good, to keep people safe, she seemed to be affirming to Nora that shutting this operation down was the right thing to do, even though it was hard.

I read that scene as Nora confessing her desire to use the machine, but committing to confronting the scientists and preventing them from hurting anyone else. Giving up the cigarettes was symbolic of giving up her quest for self-annihilation.

Parables are often counter-intuitive, and favor mercy and fellow-feeling over diligence and justice. The Prodigal Son is a fuck-up and his brother a mensch, yet their father embraces the miscreant. Martha works her fingers to the bone to offer shelter and food to the visiting rabbi, while Mary sits at his feet and listens: the rabbi gently chides the worker (who is left to wonder, "Why would anyone want that job?").

Laurie responds to Nora's parable like a therapist playing devil's advocate -- or an apostle, working out the prophet's meaning. When Nora asks, "Why would anyone want that job?," Laurie doesn't say that the guard keeps people safe, nor does she invoke the common good: she only says, "Because otherwise, the ball would go onto the field...and that would be fucking chaos." And Nora nods, content. I took that nod to mean, "That's right: and you and I -- who thought our roles were to guard against chaos -- both know now, there is only chaos, or kidding ourselves." Squeezing the air out of the ball = wasting your breath, as the Remnant used to write.

What I felt, urged on by That Music and the actors' pitch-perfect performances, was that all three characters were in perfect, inconsolable accord. Nora and Matt don't move away; they don't hasten down to call upon distant authorities, either God or the DDS: they have lost their wrath and found each other. Instead they stay together, taking in this view of their world, Down Under. Just as Laurie, a day later, would gaze peacefully up at the sky a final time, before sending herself backwards and below.

[Lemons]

On 5/22/2017 at 7:44 PM, Penman61 said:

I think show made a pretty convincing case for why Laurie would commit suicide, though of course I share your stated objections.  Another tragedy in this show's tragic world...

The one I've wondered about is Kevin Jr:  What's his wound/loss that justifies his behavior after the SD?  Nora lost her entire family, Laurie lost her 4-week-old fetus and her sense of purpose, Matt's wife was put in a coma and had to justify his vocation...but what did Kevin lose that justifies him being in their category of dysfunctional grief-grappling?  Still puzzled by this, after almost 3 seasons...

I don't understand why Laurie would commit suicide. She has her whole family, a new husband. How is her life unbearable?