S03.E09: The Apology

[OnceSane]

Quote

Jacob shares something with Frankie that upsets her. Everyone rallies around Robert when his mother dies. Mallory confides in Brianna.

[Clanstarling]

Boy, this episode hit home. When my father (similar to Robert's mother) died, everyone said the same thing, how complicated the emotional response would be etc. But nope, I was just relieved I didn't have to deal with him again.

I loved the shopping scene with Robert and Grace, and I really like that they (as well as Frankie and Sol) are starting to come to place where they have a different relationship that allows them to be friends.

[Bastet]

"How do I write nice things about someone who volunteered with the mentally disabled because they're easy to beat at cards?"

I was hoping their mom dying meant we were going to see Christine Lahti as Robert's sister again.

I like the storyline of losing someone closely related to you, but with whom you had a bad or largely non-existent relationship -- the notion of how you're supposed to feel, and how others felt, versus how you do feel.  And I really like the history Robert and Grace share coming into play, with her being the most understanding and helpful to him.  Their shopping trip was fantastic; a lot of laughs, and then the "I know how it feels not to be loved by someone who should love you" apology.  And buying her a present in the moment.

I don't, however, like Frankie getting "When were you planning to tell me about this?" angry at Jacob -- this is the perfect time for him to tell her about possibly retiring to Santa Fe in the future.  Their relationship is new.  It's committed, I assume, but it's in no way permanent.  Because it may progress into that territory as it continues, he's telling her now.  He's done nothing wrong.

I like the conversation they had the next day much better.

[DoubleUTeeEff]

On 3/25/2017 at 11:32 PM, Bastet said:

Their shopping trip was fantastic; a lot of laughs, and then the "I know how it feels not to be loved by someone who should love you" apology.  And buying her a present in the moment.

Yes!  That acknowledgment, not loving her as a husband should love a wife and receiving a thoughtful present based on her as a person rather than a problem to solve must have gone a long way to help Grace.  She can really move on from the past now.

[Wings]

This was my favorite episode to date.  Robert apologizing to Grace was poignant. 

I loved how Grace pulled Robert out of the room as Sol droned on.  Mimicking getting a cocktail and signaling him to join her illustrated how they moved over a huge hump and can laugh together.  Loved it!  

I disliked Robert in season one and two but have warmed to him after this episode.  

Question.  I am not familiar with Sam Waterston's roles.  He is ditz here with peculiar voice inflections.  Has this shown up in other roles? 

[OtterMommy]

I agree with the above posters...this was my fave of the season (so far).  I wouldn't say it was especially funny, but it did hit home for me.  One thing that did make me laugh was Sol's conversation on the phone with...someone...about whether or not Robert's mother was really dead.  This was a very par for the course conversation on my father's side of the family (and those people love a long, drawn out funeral!). Also, the conversation with Robert and Grace was especially sweet.

[Mindthinkr]

On 3/27/2017 at 1:27 PM, wings707 said:

This was my favorite episode to date.  Robert apologizing to Grace was poignant. 

I loved how Grace pulled Robert out of the room as Sol droned on.  Mimicking getting a cocktail and signaling him to join her illustrated how they moved over a huge hump and can laugh together.  Loved it!  

I disliked Robert in season one and two but have warmed to him after this episode.  

Question.  I am not familiar with Sam Waterston's roles.  He is ditz here with peculiar voice inflections.  Has this shown up in other roles? 

Sam Waterston used to be on Law and Order back in the day. He was no ditz in that show. He also was in the Showtime (? Or HBO) series Newsroom. This is the most casual a role I've ever seen him in. He's usually authoritative in demeanor. 

[Wings]

1 hour ago, Mindthinkr said:

Sam Waterston used to be on Law and Order back in the day. He was no ditz in that show. He also was in the Showtime (? Or HBO) series Newsroom. This is the most casual a role I've ever seen him in. He's usually authoritative in demeanor. 

Interesting!  Playing against type and not very well.  LOL 

[EdnasEdibles]

On 3/25/2017 at 10:32 PM, Bastet said:

I don't, however, like Frankie getting "When were you planning to tell me about this?" angry at Jacob -- this is the perfect time for him to tell her about possibly retiring to Santa Fe in the future.  Their relationship is new.  It's committed, I assume, but it's in no way permanent.  Because it may progress into that territory as it continues, he's telling her now.  He's done nothing wrong.

I like the conversation they had the next day much better.

I kind of got where Frankie was coming from in the way that he told her. He kind of just dropped it. "I hate farming. I might move to Santa Fe because I have a house there." - I'd be a little flabbergasted if I were her. Yes, they're new.  But I wish he'd brought it up a little differently. "Hey, farming is getting harder and during weeks like this, I really think of slowing down and living near my kids in Santa Fe but I'm scared of leaving my life and my friends - and you - behind." Something that incorporates that he's actually somewhat conflicted on moving while he is developing feelings for her. And his "Oh you could move too" - Oh she could? After you've not thought of her at all with your plans? When all of her family lives there? And she just started a business?  It seemed a little tone deaf and callous.

[hnygrl]

That right there, EdnasEdibles, is exactly why I don't believe for a micro-second that she's going anywhere. Literally her whole world is in San Diego. Her. Whole. WORLD. And everyone in it. And she's expected, at 73, to abandon everything she knows and adores for a man? Nope. Not happening.

It's right up there with them forcing retirement on Sol. He clearly wasn't ready, and was only doing it because everyone around him begged him to. Two weeks in Santa Fe and she'd be as lonely and as bored as Sol probably is now. Here, everyone knows her and makes allowances for her idiosyncrasies. would Jacob's family? Would they? Really? Would they look at dad/grandad sideways for bringing the weird white chick home with him?

Frankie's not going anywhere.

[Wings]

13 minutes ago, hnygrl said:

It's right up there with them forcing retirement on Sol. He clearly wasn't ready, and was only doing it because everyone around him begged him to.

I thought that scene was excellent and an interesting way to handle it.  If he had just decided to retire and did, that would have been boring totally devoid of comedic moments.   

[Drapers4thWife]

Quote

It's right up there with them forcing retirement on Sol. He clearly wasn't ready, and was only doing it because everyone around him begged him to.

I thought that was realistic. Retirement can't always be when the person "feels ready," sometimes it has to be when they're holding others back. Just like with Joan-Margaret, Sol is not contributing to the firm anymore, and he was actively impeding and making more work for Bud. Clearly Bud is an excellent lawyer and Robert and Sol trusted him to take over. But Bud is never going to be able to run the firm with the respect of his clients and employees with doddering Daddy always coming in and marking up his work like he's in third grade. It's a place of business, not a venue to make Sol feel useful and give him a place to go every day. Plus God knows how antiquated a lot of Sol's ideas were. Certain areas of law require attorneys to be very up on the latest developments and technology. 

If Sol wants something to do and truly loves the law, then there are plenty of places where I'm sure he could volunteer his legal experience. 

Edited March 29, 2017 by Drapers4thWife

[Clanstarling]

1 hour ago, Drapers4thWife said:

Certain areas of law require attorneys to be very up on the latest developments and technology. 

They're divorce lawyers, but there might be some new twists in separating assets because of technological advances. And of course retirement does open his life up to allow him to do pro bono work for whatever causes he wants to advocate, which seems like it would be right up his alley, just as you suggested.

[Blakeston]

On 3/25/2017 at 11:32 PM, Bastet said:

I don't, however, like Frankie getting "When were you planning to tell me about this?" angry at Jacob -- this is the perfect time for him to tell her about possibly retiring to Santa Fe in the future.  Their relationship is new.  It's committed, I assume, but it's in no way permanent.  Because it may progress into that territory as it continues, he's telling her now.  He's done nothing wrong.

Is their relationship that new, though? They were dating in season one, when Grace was seventy. She's seventy-three now. It seemed like they were "on a break" for some of that time, but they've been romantically involved to some extent for a while.

[Bastet]

The specifics of the trajectory are lost to me, but I think it's generally that there was flirtation, and the beginnings of a romantic relationship, then pulling back, and them being friends with the potential for something more, and then casual dating, and they didn't start sleeping together until this season.  And not that sex is the sole barometer, but it's pretty unusual (unless one has some sort of moral objection) for a serious, committed relationship to have formed before that comes into play.  So they've had a relationship of various natures for a while, but only been in A Relationship (such that one would need to seriously consider the other person in pondering and discussing retirement and relocation plans) for a little while.

[molshoop]

Sam has always had that idiosyncratic speech pattern.  Here he is winning a Golden Globe in 1993

[JBC344]

I think Sol is in some ways similar to Sam's actual personality but incredibly different from every other role he has ever played.  He always plays incredibly authoritative, stern, accomplished characters.  This is the first time I've ever seem him "silly" in any capacity.  I also didn't know he was Katherine Waterston's father.

Cute video Ignore the headline.

[zoey1996]

I first became aware of Sam Waterston as an actor in the early 1990's series, I'll Fly Away,  I love him as an actor.  http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0101124/?ref_=nm_flmg_act_34  

The scene of Robert and Grace shopping for a funeral outfit for his mother was so good.  And I love that Robert bought the scarf for Grace, and the apology.

I thought Frankie's reaction to Jacob's telling her that he might move to Santa Fe was probably how most people would react.  And then they move on from that, and gain greater understanding of one another.  I thought it just felt right.

Mallory and her husband are not favorite characters of mine, but I felt sad for them, realizing their relationship, although not clearly doomed yet, was far from what either of them wanted.

Who did Brianna call at the end?  Was that her former employee?

[llewis823]

On 5/31/2017 at 6:45 AM, zoey1996 said:

Mallory and her husband are not favorite characters of mine, but I felt sad for them, realizing their relationship, although not clearly doomed yet, was far from what either of them wanted

I agree. Having a daughter who struggled with and myself having struggled with fertility, women like Mallory who have their husbands just "look at them and they get pregnant" and then complain about all the kids, no free time, feeling trapped...that just ticks me off to no end. There is a way to prevent that, Mallory.

[Wings]

On 5/31/2017 at 4:45 AM, zoey1996 said:

I first became aware of Sam Waterston as an actor in the early 1990's series, I'll Fly Away,  I love him as an actor.  http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0101124/?ref_=nm_flmg_act_34  

The scene of Robert and Grace shopping for a funeral outfit for his mother was so good.  And I love that Robert bought the scarf for Grace, and the apology.

I thought Frankie's reaction to Jacob's telling her that he might move to Santa Fe was probably how most people would react.  And then they move on from that, and gain greater understanding of one another.  I thought it just felt right.

Mallory and her husband are not favorite characters of mine, but I felt sad for them, realizing their relationship, although not clearly doomed yet, was far from what either of them wanted.

Who did Brianna call at the end?  Was that her former employee?

I agree, especially the bold.  I think if this series keeps going they will have to develop the children more.  Yes it is about Grace/Frankie/aging woes but our children are part of our ongoing life and play a huge role whether we want them to or not. 

This episode touched my heart deeply.  Bravo.  

Mallory is going to have a good story line, they needed to change her situation for interest.  

I binged this in 2 nights when it first came out so I don't remember Brianna's call.  Wasn't it to her most recent ex and wanting to meet him?  

Edited June 18, 2017 by wings707

[Crs97]

The phone call was to her former employee and boyfriend Barry.  They broke up at Frankie's art show in the season premiere.