S01.E07: Hoedown Showdown

[OnceSane]

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Much to Lauren's dismay, Carl brings two uninvited women to Lindsay's 30th birthday hoedown; Everett and Lindsay are on the outs, and Stephen spills a secret that may make the on-and-off again couple turn the switch off permanently.

[ghoulina]

Carl is such a douche. Lauren is stupid for getting all wrapped up in this guy. But he is clearly very gamey, IMO. He knew what he was doing bringing those girls around, and he specifically WANTED to discuss it with Lauren so he could be all, "Wait, you don't even know them. This is my FRIEND." He just seems to be all about head games. But he does it with this big, affable smile on his face and thinks he can get away with it. Gross. 

And then Lauren plays games right back, by spending the night out with random dudes. How old are these people????

I did love Stephen's mocking of Lauren and Ashley crying. They are SO dramatic. 

Christina continues to be a little shit stirrer. Insecurity just wafts off of her. She thought calling those girls "hookers" would ingratiate her with the twins, but Lauren shut that shit down. No matter how shady Carl is being, those girls did nothing to you. I was glad to see Kyle took great umbrage at Christina's insult. 

Everett and Lindsey both suck so much that I think they deserve each other. So I'm patting Stephen on the back for tattling on Everett's big night out. 

[Adultosaurus]

Everett's "10,000 ft stare" makes me want to punch him in the stupid face.  Someone told him that faux intensity could make up for that weak chin - and they were wrong.

[Jezebel97]

47 minutes ago, Adultosaurus said:

Everett's "10,000 ft stare" makes me want to punch him in the stupid face.  Someone told him that faux intensity could make up for that weak chin - and they were wrong.

ha! and he reminds of Jeff Spicoli trying to look like Scott Disick

yes, I was watching Fast Times @ Ridgemont High over the weekend ;)

[stacyasp]

Lindsay turning 30 !!!!!!! Puhleeeeeeeze

[Adultosaurus]

35 minutes ago, stacyasp said:

Lindsay turning 30 !!!!!!! Puhleeeeeeeze

I think that's legit - I know someone who graduated UF with her and that person is 31, so she's probably 30 - just a hard 30 :)

[bichonblitz]

And here we go with the couple that fights constantly, breaks up  and makes up. Shame on you, Everett. I thought you had more back bone than that.  Don't we have enough of that on Vanderpump Rules with Tom and Katy? And these two shows are on same night one right after the other. 

At least Lauren realizes she goes for the wrong guys. I don't think her sister constantly saying she wishes Lauren had the great relationship and perfect husband like she does helps anything, though. It kind of sets up Lauren to fail if she's looking to find a relationship just as perfect as her sister's. 

[ghoulina]

4 minutes ago, bichonblitz said:

At least Lauren realizes she goes for the wrong guys. I don't think her sister constantly saying she wishes Lauren had the great relationship and perfect husband like she does helps anything, though. It kind of sets up Lauren to fail if she's looking to find a relationship just as perfect as her sister's. 

I agree. Ashley is all, "I worry about you so much. I just want you to be happy like me". Um....can she not be single and be happy? I get the feeling there's some family pressure for the other twin to be on the same trajectory as her sister. Maybe it's not overt, but it's there. Let Lauren do her thing. 

[Judi Sunshine]

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Carl is such a douche. Lauren is stupid for getting all wrapped up in this guy. But he is clearly very gamey, IMO. He knew what he was doing bringing those girls around, and he specifically WANTED to discuss it with Lauren so he could be all, "Wait, you don't even know them. This is my FRIEND." He just seems to be all about head games. But he does it with this big, affable smile on his face and thinks he can get away with it. Gross. 

I was surprised at just how angry I got at him last night. Already he annoyed me last week with his bonfire behavior (and put your damn shoes on in the Uber plz). But this week was extra gross because it was all right in front of Lauren. I get that she's not "taking a hint," but his hints are mixed in with confusing signals like his choice to charm her family. Regardless, he knows he's not interested in her and is playing that deeply obnoxious "What, I'm single" game. That he keeps it all inside the house speaks volumes about his need for attention, regardless of who gets hurt. I really felt for Lauren when she said he was the one who pursued her hard, especially after hearing him talk in a confessional about how he always tries to hunt out the hottest girl in each summer house. Dude wants to shit where he eats and complain about the smell. Carl seems like a decent guy otherwise and like a wonderful son, but he needs to knock off this nonsense.

Edited February 21, 2017 by Judi Sunshine

[JenE4]

I was mesmerized by Lindsey's changing hairdo at her party, which made it painfully obvious how chopped up and reordered the entire evening was. Poor girl spends a fortune having hair and makeup done, shows up cute with curls, at some point the curls droop, she twists her hair up in a cute high bun, then when she's drunk, she undoes the bun and her hair is a limp mess. Now, one might think that she did the bun because her hair became a limp mess, but, nope, we have confirmation that she does this "serious talk" hair let-down thing. In another scene the next day, she was standing with her hair twisted up, Everett asked her to sit down to talk, and we see her physically let down her hair as she's sitting. Now back to the party, I'm not interested enough to do a play-by-play rewatch, but from what I noticed, she was "curly hair cute" kissing and dancing with Everett, so their big talk of them "seeing each other for the first time since their break up" was filmed at the end of the night with the crazy limp hair. Her hair was also all over the place (curly, bun, limp) with the whole Carl and his guests and Lauren's breakdown, and the "reaction shot" to Carl's "arrival" also seemed to have been filmed later.

[biakbiak]

If I were Priv I wouldn't want the product placement because I thought all the girls looked like shit or look better when they do their own hair and makeup, even Lindsay and she always look like ass.

What kind of rules are there for guests at the house, a hookup sure but bringing two guests of any gender to stay for the weekend without telling anyone except for your bff in the house is completely fucking ridiculous. Add in the Lauren situation and it's just extra douchey. They clearly are in contact during the week just give her a freaking heads up. I liked Lauren asking why he is so special when everyone else informs people about who is coming into town and he had no answer. He is just slime personified.

Kyle should thank Everett and Carl and the nonentity Steven because he comes out looking so much better than he normally would compared to those asshats.

[FozzyBear]

Carl is the worst. The worst ever. On Bravo. Which makes him the worst on earth. The worst sociopathic scum of the earth that Andy "King of The undiagnosed sociopath" Cohen could find. What a piece of shit. And I disagree with Stephen's statement that Lauren needs to realize this isn't about her. THAT WAS SO CLEARLY ABOUT LAUREN! He was desperate to make sure Laren noticed he was with two random girls. He did everything in his power to make the situation as uncomfortable as possible for her. When she didn't bite he actually forced her into a conversation just so he could call her a jealous, hysterical woman. The crazy thing is I don't even think it's some stupid immature bid for her attention. I think he likes fucking with her just to prove he can. He seems to get some perverse satisfaction out of knowing he can hurt her.  If I was a part of that group and witnessed that spectacle I'd be done with Carl just on the principle that he's a horrible person even if it wasn't directed at me personally. And his "Lindsey is crazy and Everett is intense", so the girl is crazy and the boy is intense? Shut the fuck up you misogynistic, soulless, dumpster fire of a person. 

Ahhh I feel better now.

Lindsey got her makeup done professionally for the party? It was...interesting.

[Guest]

Was it my tv, or did Carl's teeth look awfully yellow. I hate to mention it, because mine are, but I at least have the excuse of a drug my mother took while pregnant with me.

[FozzyBear]

1 minute ago, Swim mom said:

Was it my tv, or did Carl's teeth look awfully yellow. I hate to mention it, because mine are, but I at least have the excuse of a drug my mother took while pregnant with me.

I didn't notice specifically about his teeth, but some of his behavior makes me wonder if he has a drug problem. And if he's the spawn of the devil. 

[ticklemepink]

1 hour ago, Swim mom said:

Was it my tv, or did Carl's teeth look awfully yellow. I hate to mention it, because mine are, but I at least have the excuse of a drug my mother took while pregnant with me.

His teeth really bother me. Everything about him bothers me. He is not nearly as cute as folks are giving him credit for. 

[Adultosaurus]

I've known a gazillion Carls (all sexes) in my life.  Everyone likes him well enough because no one can put their finger on that "Something" that makes him unpalatable, so they just all go with it.  He's the less-flattering but not quite hideous definition of charming.

[FozzyBear]

I could go on about how repulsive I find Carl all day...so I will!

i pretty much think he hates women. The way he talks about always going after the hottest girl in the house as some sort of trophy, his constant weird refrain about how Lauren is a great girl so he's not into her, the way he'll purposely do things to get a raise out of her just so he can call her crazy and hysterical, even the way he presented those two women in the sleaziest manner possible and only defended their character when he could use it as a way to call the other women bitchy, it all points to someone with some serious issues with women. I wonder if, despite all his protest to the contrary, he does blame his mom for his parent's divorce. 

[biakbiak]

5 minutes ago, FozzyBear said:

wonder if, despite all his protest to the contrary, he does blame his mom for his parent's divorce. 

Or just inherited all the shitty aspects of the men in his family but thinks because he isn't in jail or being mean ro his mommy he is totally cool.

[Adultosaurus]

46 minutes ago, FozzyBear said:

I could go on about how repulsive I find Carl all day...so I will!

i pretty much think he hates women. The way he talks about always going after the hottest girl in the house as some sort of trophy, his constant weird refrain about how Lauren is a great girl so he's not into her, the way he'll purposely do things to get a raise out of her just so he can call her crazy and hysterical, even the way he presented those two women in the sleaziest manner possible and only defended their character when he could use it as a way to call the other women bitchy, it all points to someone with some serious issues with women. I wonder if, despite all his protest to the contrary, he does blame his mom for his parent's divorce. 

I don't think he hates women so much as he's just never been told No by any of them.  Add Lauren to that list, because her actions have been pathetic.

[snarts]

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I could go on about how repulsive I find Carl all day...so I will!

You forgot the weird ass pattern of his chest hair.  The curly patch nearly on his shoulder makes me cringe.  And, his teeth are gross.  especially for a dental salesman!

I kinda adore Kyle, never thought I would say that.  He & Stephen can return for season 2.  Re-cast the rest.

[ghoulina]

13 hours ago, biakbiak said:

If I were Priv I wouldn't want the product placement because I thought all the girls looked like shit or look better when they do their own hair and makeup, even Lindsay and she always look like ass.

The makeup was SO bad. I know it was likely hot, and they were sweaty. But damn, It just looked like a teenage girl had been playing with her new pallet while watching videos on YouTube. 

 

13 hours ago, biakbiak said:

What kind of rules are there for guests at the house, a hookup sure but bringing two guests of any gender to stay for the weekend without telling anyone except for your bff in the house is completely fucking ridiculous.

It was said that they are supposed to give people a head's up if they want to bring guests to the house. But I don't know how seriously they follow that rule. Kyle has Amanda over without any notice at all. That is different, of course, because everyone knows her and it doesn't really effect anyone. But other than the twins, no one seemed to want to call Carl to task for breaking the rules. Even Lauren seemed apprehensive to say anything, because she knew it would look like she was just being jealous and petty. 

[RedDelicious]

I know Cristina is not a favorite, but I have been in her shoes with groups of friends more times than I can count and I thought it was SO STUPID that they came down on her for using the word hookers.  I felt like Lauren was trying to be cool girl for Carl.  I hated Lauren in that scene.  Please.  I see Cristina caught in the middle of trying to stick up for herself and trying to be funny and be one of the gang and as a single girl without a dedicated person on her side like a boyfriend or a sister, that can be hard.  Not to mention emotionally draining.  I also don't blame her for ratting out whoever (Carl or Kyle or both) about screwing around.  Nobody wants to be the side chick and not know it.  Rock and a hard place with a tough crowd.  Then the poor girl was embarrassed and overwhelmed.  UGH. 

Lindsay's a f*cking hammerhead shark with bad hair.

Edited February 22, 2017 by RedDelicious

[rho]

Every time I see Cristina I think "she's the friend nobody likes" which is essential to every friend group, but not a position anyone wants to be in. I might feel sorry for her if she wasn't constantly turning on Kyle, literally the only person who ever stands up for her, in order to ingratiate herself with the twins. And anyone with a sibling can tell you it's foolish to try and infiltrate the sisterhood. But as much as I find Cristina to be a desperate blabbermouth, I think there's a shitty double standard. Steven does the exact same thing and becomes heralded as the reigning king of tea-spilling. 

I can't believe the only two decent people on this show are Kyle and the fit model. I pegged those two as the biggest douches from the beginning but they've been pretty harmless so far.

[ghoulina]

I thought it was nasty of Christina to call those girls hookers, because how were they to know what Carl's motivations were and what relationships he'd had with people in the house, etc? The girls just walked in and Christina was calling them names. It was wrong. 

I think the main person who got mad about it, besides the girl who actually got called a hooker, was Kyle. He seemed to think it was just as inappropriate as I did. That's when Christina looked like a deer in headlights, so she blamed it on trying to back up her friend. Which, is probably what she was doing. I just see her as one of those lower tier popular girls who wants so badly to get in good with the main girl. 

And, sure, the other girls may have laughed about it, but that still doesn't make it right that Christina SAID it.

Edited February 22, 2017 by ghoulina

[bichonblitz]

Kyle needs to stop with that stupid wig. Does he put it on every time he's drunk? It's rediculous. 

[FozzyBear]

2 hours ago, RedDelicious said:

I know Cristina is not a favorite, but I have been in her shoes with groups of friends more times than I can count and I thought it was SO STUPID that they came down on her for using the word hookers.  I felt like Lauren was trying to be cool girl for Carl.  I hated Lauren in that scene.  Please.  I see Cristina caught in the middle of trying to stick up for herself and trying to be funny and be one of the gang and as a single girl without a dedicated person on her side like a boyfriend or a sister, that can be hard.  Not to mention emotionally draining.  I also don't blame her for ratting out whoever (Carl or Kyle or both) about screwing around.  Nobody wants to be the side chick and not know it.  Rock and a hard place with a tough crowd.  Then the poor girl was embarrassed and overwhelmed.  UGH. 

Lindsay's a f*cking hammerhead shark with bad hair.

I do and don't feel for Christina in this situation. She shouldn't have said it, but it did seem like an off the cuff remark that was sort of a meta eye roll at the situation in general. And while it was an offensive judgment to make even in jest, Carl (IMO) went pretty far out of his way to give off the sleeziest vibe possible when he got to the party just so he could act morally superior once someone did say something rude about his friends. I think he intended that person to be Lauren just so he could have yet another opportunity to make her feel foolish and crazy(because he is a giant shit. Seriously, Ashly needs to stop calling him a player. Kyle is a player. Carl is a sociopath and a manipulator) and it ended up being Christina. But she shouldn't have fallen for his obvious machinations of a stupid birthday party. Lauren went in a little hard on Christina about that and I do think most of that was to impress Carl, but Lauren has been remarkably consistent in directing her hurt and disappointment at Carl and not other women. I can buy that she was genuinely against Christina placing any blame at all on the women and would have said so no matter what, but I don't think she would have been quite so offended on behalf of the sisterhood if Carl hadn't been standing right there.

Bottom line is this is what bottom feeding assholes like Carl do! They create tension and confusion until everyone is at fault but them. Eyes on the prize people: stay mad at Carl.

[Judi Sunshine]

I love the shunning of girl-on-girl crime, but felt that Lauren's harsh reaction to Christina in the kitchen was a bit mean in and of itself. 

[ghoulina]

I think Lauren just wanted to make it clear, to a guest in her house, that she had nothing to do with what Christina said. Which appeared to be true. I don't recall her coming down very heavy on Christina, just making sure they knew that she didn't tell Christina to say that or encourage it in any way. 

[RedDelicious]

Some really good viewpoints here.  Cristina doesn't do herself any favors, and I feel like if someone else had jokingly said 'who are these hookers', it wouldn't have been that big of a deal and everyone would have laughed and gone along with it.  The point I was trying to make is people don't tend to mess as much with people who have a wing person, whether it's a significant other or a sibling, because that person is always there to stick up for them.  Cristina's kind of an odd man out.  She's not hooking up with anyone in the house, she's not sleeping in a bed with her twin and she doesn't have a boyfriend.  She's trying so hard to fit in and be a core friend but she's not.  Kyle is the only one sticking up for her but the way he treats Amanda makes me sick so he doesn't get a pass from me ;)  She's a dummy for showing up every time he calls her drunk.

[ghoulina]

I would like to know more about the relationships between all the housemates. Maybe they laid it all out at the beginning and I wasn't paying attention because I wasn't even sure I'd like this show. But I'd like to know what were the pre-existing friendships. Who were the core people that decided to get the house together, and then who invited whom? I know Christina and Lindsey knew each other pre-show, but which one of them invited the other? And so forth and so on...

[Adultosaurus]

Learned from Instagram Summer House ppl today - Lindsay and Everett would like everyone to stop talking about their relationship (yeah right) because they ARE IN LOVE, Y'All.   Amanda has Kyle as "Big" in her phone.  Mandatory shilling for Funboy products.  A lot of people leave snide comments on Carl's photos.  

[FozzyBear]

10 minutes ago, Adultosaurus said:

Learned from Instagram Summer House ppl today - Lindsay and Everett would like everyone to stop talking about their relationship (yeah right) because they ARE IN LOVE, Y'All.   Amanda has Kyle as "Big" in her phone.  Mandatory shilling for Funboy products.  A lot of people leave snide comments on Carl's photos.  

Annnnnnd I just started following Summer House on Instagram because that all sounds delightful. 

[Adultosaurus]

Just now, FozzyBear said:

Annnnnnd I just started following Summer House on Instagram because that all sounds delightful. 

You need to follow the individual chucklefucks specifically - most are on-board seemingly with the Bravo publicity train, but Lindsay is a bit of a loose cannon which is fun reading.

[kitten59]

On 2/21/2017 at 4:38 AM, Adultosaurus said:

Everett's "10,000 ft stare" makes me want to punch him in the stupid face.  Someone told him that faux intensity could make up for that weak chin - and they were wrong.

Ok, this cracked me up....because you nailed it! When he walked into the party with that squinty-eyed, GQ wannabe look, I died laughing. And yes, the weak chin and thin lizard lips didn't help.

[Adultosaurus]

3 hours ago, kitten59 said:

Ok, this cracked me up....because you nailed it! When he walked into the party with that squinty-eyed, GQ wannabe look, I died laughing. And yes, the weak chin and thin lizard lips didn't help.

This is his Twitter tagline - "If you ever dream of me beating me, you best wake up and apologize ".  WHAT. A. TOOL.

[biakbiak]

6 minutes ago, Adultosaurus said:

This is his Twitter tagline - "If you ever dream of me beating me, you best wake up and apologize ".  WHAT. A. TOOL.

Tools are useful, this deserves a throat punch!

[RedDelicious]

Everett wouldn't be on this show without his facial hair.  There are no weak chins and lizard lips on Bravo. 

[heatherchandler]

21 hours ago, RedDelicious said:

 

Lindsay's a f*cking hammerhead shark with bad hair.

OMG you nailed it!

[kitten59]

On 2/22/2017 at 5:30 PM, Adultosaurus said:

This is his Twitter tagline - "If you ever dream of me beating me, you best wake up and apologize ".  WHAT. A. TOOL.

Oh Lawd. Vomitrocious.

[sasha206]

On 2/22/2017 at 6:23 PM, Adultosaurus said:

You need to follow the individual chucklefucks specifically - most are on-board seemingly with the Bravo publicity train, but Lindsay is a bit of a loose cannon which is fun reading.

Which is amazing given she is in PR isn't it? Or has PR changed such that being a loose cannon is a good quality?  

I can't even get over this group.  They all look far too old to be behaving the way they are.  

I'm convinced Carl is a serial murderer.

[SarahPrtr]

Fk, I hate Cristina. She's such a shit-stirrer.  She just can't help herself.  Doesn't know when to stfu, which is pretty much all of the time.  She must have been starved of attention when she was younger, or didn't get as much of it as she wanted, so now she deliberately creates drama in other people's lives by provoking them.  What a pathetic loser.  I hate her the most in the house, even more than gross Carl.  I kept waiting for Lindsay to punch her in the face or knock her on her ass.

 

Lauren only got interested in Carl because of his height and she's very tall as well.  And what happened to Ashley declaring "... and I will be AFTER him!" if Carl doesn't treat Lauren right?? She didn't do anything! I thought she would scream and curse at him, but she didn't. Oh, is Ashley married? She hasn't mentioned it in 2 minutes.  Urgh, can't stand smug married person like her.  I'm happily married and I roll my eyes back so hard when women like Ashley makes comments to single women like "The clock is ticking" or pressure their single girlfriends to date relentlessly.  She may have met her husband when she was in college, but she's actually a newlywed because she just got married.  Marriage is new to her. 

 

And why is she freaking out about leaving her fully-grown adult sister in another city???  What does she think will happen to Lauren?  Is she really weak?  Is she incapable of taking care of herself??  Does she have disabilities we don't know about?  I'm sure the answer to all three questions is NO.  Just let her live her life.  I know they're really close and they're twins, but just live your lives.  I mean, really, wtf are you actually worried about?  You must have really little faith in your sister if you don't believe that she could find a decent guy and get into a good relationship.